How to get back on that "colorless" horse and ride off into the sunset.

Posted by Leticia, 13 Oct 07

Dating after Divorce!

I realize that after a divorce for some of us the last thing on our mind was dating...ever! However, with all things, timing is everything. How do you know when it's time for you to get back in the dating pool? Do you jump off the diving board or just dip your feet in the shallow end? Ever thought about swimming in different waters, say a lake, river or maybe even an ocean? Not only are there other fish in the sea, there's turtles, whales, crab, etc., the choices are endless.

As always I must tell you that Leticia is no doctor, psychologist or therapist. Right now I don't even own a couch... (long story). However, I can speak on this from experience and offer you a few of my personal tips to getting your butt out of the house and in front of the eyes of someone that can recognize beauty. Cheesy but you get the point right?

Your perfect partner could be online right now...

What are you looking for?

Think of NIKE: JUST DO IT! If you try to wait for your one single friend or your co-worker with the truck driver mate who may be out of town next weekend, so they'll be available to go out with you...forget it. You are grown. Fully capable of getting dressed and driving yourself down to the local "spot" where you can watch a game on TV, buy a drink or play a game of pool. So what you're alone...see #2.

GET OVER IT: Yes, it is going to take some time to heal, but what better way and with what better person than you to do it with. You are truly amazing and worth spending a night with. So do that, date yourself for a while. Re-learn what it is that makes you happy. Learn what you don't like and fix it. This is your time to "do you"!

Make new friends: Single people (men and women) are going to be a great resource for you when you are ready to start dating someone other than yourself. They know other single people and if you've been out of the game for a while, they can bring you up to date on the new stuff...like speed dating or better yet on-line dating tips and tactics.

Date for fun: not a lifetime partner. As you are now painfully aware, a lifetime doesn't last as long as it use to. Sometimes we spend more time trying to find that special someone else, that we forget how to be someone special and enjoy ourselves right here and now. Have fun, laugh, dance be you. Even if that first date or two or ten isn't the kind of person you'd want to have a serious relationship with...this isn't about them, it's all about you...right now! Enjoy your freedom while you can - flirt 'til it hurts. Change your thoughts: Change your life. If you want what you always had keep doing what you've always done. If you don't...than STOP doing what you've always done and do something different. Re-invent your self, your hair, clothes, perfume or cologne. If you've always worked out in a gym, try the Y, community center or the neighborhood park. If you've always dated the same kind of person with the same kind of family history, background, culture, hair color, whatever. Try the total opposite.

This is Leticia saying open your mind and increase the opportunity for new experience adventures and if you like...a new happier you. Congratulations, you are now ready to be you again!

11 responses to "How to get back on that "colorless" horse and ride off into the sunset."

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  1.   singledad73 says:
    Posted: 14 Aug 08

    I was asked a few times about what my family would think, if I dated a black, asian or mixed race women..And even knowing that they would be o.k. with it, I found the insercurty, wasn't with my family, but within themselves...

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  2.   mossimo36 says:
    Posted: 10 Nov 07

    That knife is so dull it won't cut hot butter

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  3.   ebonyg says:
    Posted: 08 Nov 07

    I really liked this article also. I especially liked the paragraph 'Get Over It'. Thre are some great advice there as you do need some me time, especially if you've just come out of a long term relationship. You might have lost sight of who you were as an individual. So it is worth taking the time to find yourself again and get over the hurt and rid yourself of any bad feelings, anger, etc that you may have for your ex. Great stuff!

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  4. Posted: 07 Nov 07

    great article....thanks!!!

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  5.   dragon1956 says:
    Posted: 04 Nov 07

    this article is one of the best i have read here, thank you.

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  6.   Fala says:
    Posted: 01 Nov 07

    Dating for fun is probably the best reason. Better than sitting around being bored. Even if you don't meet that special someone you can always make a new friend.

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  7.   Fala says:
    Posted: 30 Oct 07

    I loved this article. Nothing wrong with a little self-improvement.

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  8.   mossimo36 says:
    Posted: 28 Oct 07

    Great article!! Thanks for posting!!

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  9.   Cocokisses says:
    Posted: 25 Oct 07

    Hey...why does the horse have to be colorless? They are beautiful nomatter what their size or color. People can learn a lot from horses :) Color doesn't matter to them :)

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  10.   Fala says:
    Posted: 23 Oct 07

    Good points Coco. That's good common sense advice for anyone.

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  11.   Cocokisses says:
    Posted: 22 Oct 07

    Great article for those who are working on their own "new you". Its alwasy good to better yourself physically and mentally.

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