Color-blind racism?

Posted by James, 15 Dec 09

“I have never hooked up with someone of my own race before!”

The above statement seems ‘beyond race’. It somehow makes the people who make such statements seem like they are beyond the influence of racial stereotyping and racist ideologies. Is this the case?

Being an interracial dating site, we are here to make it possible for people who are open to finding love that is more than skin-deep do that. Some people think that by dating interracially, they are somehow ‘beyond race’. Dating someone from your own race doesn’t make one racist. May be its just attraction… May be its just cultural pride. And being in an interracial relationship doesn’t wipe those in-built racist ideologies either.

Your perfect partner could be online right now...

What are you looking for?

Ever met these people who spend every waking moment of their time trying to prove to their peers just how color-blind they are? Take a statement like: “You don’t really look [race/ethnicity]. I just see you as a person.” Now, imagine you are a mixed race individual and want your racial identity known. Why would a person want to pretend that they don’t see race which is such an important aspect of your being?

The above scenario is one of those instances that reflect color-blind racism. Color-blind racism is racism where people act as if skin color does not matter – even when it does. Much as we are all equal, I think race should not be ignored. It’s what makes a person who he or she is. It shouldn’t be relegated as unimportant.

Just because you have a couple of friends from another race, or just because you are in an interracial relationship doesn’t make you diverse enough. True diversity is all about understanding the pervasive structural inequalities in access to and distribution of resources, power, and wealth among different ethnicities… it’s about acknowledging these injustices and trying to combat them.

So if you are in an interracial relationship, instead of pretending not to see the race of your spouse, why not try acknowledging it, understanding your partner’s culture and work on merging your different cultures as opposed to ignoring this altogether.

22 responses to "Color-blind racism?"

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  1. Posted: 07 Aug 10

    Absolutely LOVE your post, afrodite!!!! ....makes all the sense in the world. But just keep in mind.....Like there are all sorts of racism, there are different kinds of "color-blindness". Which would you really rather have...someone telling you you can't BE YOU just because the color of your skin or someone saying they SEE YOU for MORE THAN JUST YOUR SKIN COLOR(the latter is the type of "colorblindness" I lean toward)??? ...just a different way to look at it. Peace SIS tatted2death

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  2.   afrodite_07 says:
    Posted: 30 Jul 10

    color blindness is racism!its racist to all races.why can you not see racial and cultural differences and accept it? it is a disservice to us all by claiming color blindness.thats like you being non-black,you deny that i am black,as if saying there is something wrong with my blackness.why can't you see that it is beautiful?why can one not identify the diversity?it is ignorant not to.colorblind people live in a false reality,becouse race is part of who we are. i myself have problems becouse i am black,and i don't act what people call 'ghetto'.they confuse my intelligence and open mindedness with being white.i like to watch anime,and eat asian food,which they say i can't do becouse i'm black.i hate soul food (besides cornbread ,baked macaroni yams and fried chicken) like they say i can't rock out to AFI ,and greenday ,and shake my booty to some luda and micheal jackson,swing my hips and move my arms to innerpartysystem ,belly dance to rihana ,then shake my afro to some lauren hill and the roots,slow jam to force mds ,relax to sade and moi dix moi and finish it off with headbangin' to metallica and ! i'm not allowed to drool at some random asian guy on the train,or the dominican guy at the corner store!i can't drool over trey songs, and jared ledo!i can't like guys with eye liner and like guys with dread locks! (cultural) but know this! i am very black,and very proud of it!i acknowledge and respect cultural differences!racism is pathetic!so is colorblindness its an easy way out!stereotypes were created to turn the races against one another,so lay down your swords ,and your tinted lenses and love!

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  3.   Asleep says:
    Posted: 22 Jul 10

    I agree with the last two paragraphs a lot! I am with a black woman, and our views on race pretty much align. The descrepancy is the fact that I do not know much about black culture! I would hazard to guess that a lot of white folks with black partners dont know much either. I am basing this off the reading I have done, the various view points and LISTENING, that there are some definate cultural differences and they ARE NOT readily apparent unless a person seeks. Cheers

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  4.   SexyEyes says:
    Posted: 27 Feb 10

    Color blind is great. It is about one people One World One Love...

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  5.   wonka says:
    Posted: 19 Feb 10

    James great post bro,You hit it SQUARE on the nose. White people are pros at that shit,they think cause their in an interracial relationship and/or may have black associates/freinds,that they know what it's like.Hell no,they'll never know and they love when there's an opportunity to play the race card,you all know what I mean,they act nice and down in front of their black girlfreind or their "so-called" black freinds,but,when it's them and their WHITE buddies and they see a brother they all start their shit. The truth comes out!!!.It's all a facade,white peo- ple know how to be fake,it's in their blood!.Now I deal with white people,I may go out to the bar and have a few drinks with them,you know go to baseball games together,joke around-whatever.I'm a loner, I stay to myself 9/10,however we(as a people)have to be able to deal with people in general,so once- in a while I may do these things,but,I know where I stand and how I feel.I have a tendency to lack the trust in the human race(of course there are quite a few exceptions,ex:certain family,True freinds), when it comes to white people it's very difficult, I'll leave it at that!!.

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  6. Posted: 13 Feb 10

    @Smile4242 I have GREAT examples of upstanding black men in my family... if we weren't related, I'd totally date them! But since I'm not from the hills of West Virginia (LOL)... I look for similar/familiar qualities in men of ANY race... so far, I've found them mostly non-black men. *shrug*

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  7.   Smile4242 says:
    Posted: 13 Jan 10

    The people I personally know that do not date inside there race usually had some bad experiences with people of the opposite sex of their race when they were young, such as a mother, aunt, love interest, etc. which turned them off to their own race, the assumption is that all (insert race here) women or men are like their mom or their aunt or whoever. Now, they do not usually consciously make this decision, but if you trace it back, usually it is related to that.

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  8. Posted: 01 Jan 10

    Blatantly.....typos attack (lol, Ich)

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  9. Posted: 01 Jan 10

    Dang it......I feel the need to expound...(because I was sooooo blantly misunderstood in my post from last month)...LOL...so I will. I NEVER said that I was all for some "utopic" society where there was NO individuality. To be clear, that would not even be MY idea of Utopia. I am NOT some polly-anna that even thinks UTOPIA is a possibility. I just wanted that to get straightened out, lest all my posts be written off as "lunacy" (which is what someone seemed to pull out of my last one....lol). Ok.....now I REALLY must get some rest.....it's been a LOOOONG NIGHT/EARLY MORNING....lol As always...peace to all tatted2death

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  10. Posted: 01 Jan 10

    oh....one more thing to ponder..... For those not in the know....SIMPLE AND EASY are NOT necessarily synonymous concepts. Yes, it was simple for Dr. King to ,say, sit at an "All-whites" counter in the 60's but that does NOT mean it was EASY. I have never been one to look for the "easy" way of doing/thinking/being.....yet I will forever seek out the most simplistic manner in which to do/think/be....we should all try this at least once in our lives and see where it takes us. Thanks for reading PEACE

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  11. Posted: 01 Jan 10

    Thank you and welcome to Mr. Scythian.... Thanks, first of all, for your well thought out and balanced post. I truly think YOU actually got where I was coming from with my post....(not asking anyone to step out of line with "reality"; only posing a DIFFERENT POV...the possibility of CHANGING your "reality" AND how it starts with YOU, yourself......period). Illogical thinking aside (because we ALL know that is relative and subjective), it is proven human nature that we tend to "block our blessings". And sometimes when the simplest answer is right in front of us, we tend to do the "round robin" act until we have our proverbial azzez handed to us. I am not on here to have anyone "agree" with me or join my "cult"(ure). I'm just asking for people to take a different "train of thought"....for those willing to get on board, guess what????... If you don't like where it takes you, you are free to GET OFF and continue on your way. But again I will ask a question.....Has your way of thinking brought you any more peace or happiness??? Because it seems to me the way James sets us up to feel about his post here is NOT promoting togetherness or any sort of hope or faith. It (once again) seems embedded with divisive subtleties to keep us blind to what REALLY matters.... Keeps us FOCUSING on the SMALL SHYT. I will end this here by reiterating the obvious (to the logical...LOL)...I AM NOT AT ODDS with those that need their "culture" to be respected. I just think it is a tad backward to think that a man/woman that had his hands on a VERY GOOD woman/man would should let them go simply because they don't worship, eat, or sit the same way. I know that is a ridiculous notion to some but like I said before if someone RESPECTS you as a HUMAN BEING chances are they WILL respect the things that ARE IMPORTANT TO YOU......PLAIN AND SIMPLE. All the little details WILL be respected in kind. I am just one of those that thinks BIG PICTURE first. Peace and Blessings to ALL....(HAPPY NEW YEAR AND DECADE, good people) tatted2death

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  12.   Scythian says:
    Posted: 30 Dec 09

    I have read with great interest the postings that have been submitted and think every one has "voiced" sentiments from which we can all learn. So, in hoping not to sound redundant or over simplify, I shall offer my thoughts for consideration. If this were a perfect world, concentrating on seeing each others as members of "human culture" would be perhaps easy to do. As well, it is, I think we would all agree, the paradigm for which should be striving. However, the global society of which we are all part will not allow us to do so. I am 61 years old and a retired college professor who has taught on three continents. While there are individuals who hate simply because of a person's skin color, in reality, the color of the person's skin denotes a belief, in more cases than not erroneous, about who and what that person is. I am still trying after 61 years to discern what "Black" culture is. Through my veins runs African Cherokee, Blackfoot, Spanish & French Creole, Irish, Scot-Irish and Portuguese blood. I have lived outside America and have witnessed within other societies same dynamic at work. Differences in culture should be recognized but should never be allowed to dominate a relationship whether it is interracial or not. Least we forget that the foundations on which any successful relationship is built are not determine by the race from which we spring. Honesty, integrity, trust, respect, understanding and the ability to accept our partners for who they are and not for who wish them to be are not sole property of any one race or culture. I truly believe that knowing about the culture of your partner is important within the context of making the decision if you wish to be with that person or not. Finally, it falls into other considerations as well when we use the word cultural. While I was at Rollins College in Winter Park, Florida, a student of mine Afro-American had a chance to marry I truly believe into the DuPont family. The resistance to the relationship came from my student's mother who cited their being from different cultures as the reason why the relationship would not work. The parents of the young woman in question, as far as I know, voiced no objections to the relationship. I want a person wishes to know about me and as a person and individual. We say this is what we want as well. If we are going to have problems in discussing our cultures we the person we are seeking to share a life in every breath with, perhaps we should step back and see what it is we are really trying to achieve. Take Care, Scythian

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  13.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 19 Dec 09

    Asian, Understanding, other's... gotta love typos!

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  14.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 19 Dec 09

    Exactly, Bigeyes. The same applies with a man and a woman of the SAME race. The upbringing between the two can be different, however they should share the same level of respect and admiration for each other. In that, they may find that the only differences lie in their perspectives. Not being able to ignore something doesn't mean there is always a constant focus on it. It just means that the diffences are perhaps that obvious. I have, and have had, many friends that are half white, half Filipino. The rule is, shoes come off at the front door. This is something that the "white half" evidently had to repsect about the "asain half's" culture. It can be a matter of simply incorporating different traditions and customs, while at the same time not letting the fact that the two are of different races dominate or overshadow the entire premise of the relationship. Unstanding each others humor, euphemisms, and figures of speech so they can laugh together, develope inside jokes, or catch each others sacasms is more along the lines of communication amongst people period. I once asked my ex-girl friend, "What if my face was blown off and I was horrendously disfigured?" Ofcourse she quickly said if she loved me, it wouldn't matter. Love is one thing and is said to conquer all, but even though a terrible accident doesn't change a person inside, the outside make take a little time to get accustomed to, and for some people, they simply cannot. You can't just act like your husband or wife no longer has a face just as you can't simply act like your mate is of a different color. Believe me, more black girls and women did not or do not accept me for my culture and upbringing being different from their own, being the same as their own, or for merely being what they assume it was/is. It's because there is a such thing as sub-cultures (cultures within cultures). That is MORE human than not. Also, imagine a 100 yard patch of turf, with a bunch of guys running around wearing pads and helmets tossing a football being told to just play and have fun. Can't happen. Half those guys have to call themself the New Orleans Saints and were Black and Gold uniforms, the other half has to call themselves the Jacksonville Jaguars and wear Teal. Each team's fans scream different catch phrases and sing different songs. Based on the climate and weather in each team's respective cities, their playing stlyes may vary. Overall, the referee calls the plays by the same rules. Sportmanlike conduct across the board. I believe this is all James was trying to say.

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  15.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 19 Dec 09

    Yes, it would be nice to focus on the human culture, if it were an IDEAL world but is not. In my opinion if a man doesn't love your differences and celebrates them and you his, it's not love and respect.he should love and appreciate everything about you and you him.

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  16.   Ms.Ching says:
    Posted: 19 Dec 09

    I have to agree with ttated2death. We should all think of it as the "human culture" rather than place emphasis on different cultures. Yes everyone is different that is what makes us individuals. I am of multi cultures I can not divided myself in four ways and say I believe in this because this is what this culture has taught me, and I believe in that because the other culture taught it to me that would just sound silly. I believe in life and what the past has taught me, the present gives me, and what the future holds for me. I don't look at my partner for his skin, or the type of cultural background he comes from. I look at him for what he inspires in me. Human culture and human race is the only thing I believe in.

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  17.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 18 Dec 09

    I think any LOGICAL person would KNOW and understand what their culture is before they would demand acknowledgement of it. Not everyone believes in a utopic society where we are all one with no individuality,if that were so we would have one by now.Truth is, it's sometimes our differences that causes so many problems. I think it's healthier if we stop pretending that they are not there and instead embrace them.When someone has to "not see color", that's not realistic. I couldn't very well date a man who is, for example Jewish who is active in his culture and tell him oh, I just as see you as a person, lol. I don't think he would feel I really cared about him. Ichibod, I am just saying I think a man a woman should love the differences as well as the similarities and I'm not at all trying to always focus on the race of the person but rather the cultural differences each other might have. Peace and I'm glad we agree this topic,lol.

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  18. Posted: 18 Dec 09

    Well, I for one have always "preached" about the balance.....Yes, acknowledging someones culture is important but even more important is not getting caught up in it. And I think this issue definitely should be handled more on a "case by case" basis. I think one of the reasons SOME people are reluctant to be open to INCLUSIVE dating/marriage is that they assume everyone (ESPECIALLY people of color) is soooo into these "separate" cultures. In all honesty, I would NOT take offense to someone saying they just see me as a person.....(THIS IS POSSIBLE PEOPLE......cynics, listen up for a minute). I mean, really.....there are a many other things someone could say that could TRULY be offensive. And for those that want someone to acknowledge their culture......I have one very good question......DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT IT REALLY IS ALL ABOUT???? In America, this is a VERY slippery slope. As much as you can claim to know, the reality is AMERICAN culture is dominant and unless you were raised by parents that were from another country/culture you really don't have a whole lot to say here. And tell me this.....what would be so wrong with a "HUMAN CULTURE"?????......one where RESPECT, (UN)COMMON COURTESY, and DECENCY(sp) were the "pillars". See, I am NOT an opponent to individuality nor cultural diversity. But when people get so up in arms about something they did not even help create ("society's culture") have have to say hold up a minute. James, while I appreciate the effort to change things up a bit here.....I am afraid you bordering on the nonsensical (with this, "Much as we are all equal, I think race should not be ignored. Its what makes a person who he or she is."....come on now.....REALLY?!?!) That is like telling me that just because my sexual organs don't hang outside my body, oh yeah that makes me WHO I am. No, that just makes up PART of WHAT I am.....a woman, yes. And yes, my skintone may be VISUALLY noticeable but when someone "sees" me with their "HEART" I would hope the superficial would be last on the list. James, even if you are saying that race/skintone/culture is only part of what you are the point is still being missed. If YOU place importance on your skintone/race/culture then of course others will follow suit.....IF THEY RESPECT YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE. Which leads me back to the idea of a "human culture" being of UTMOST importance. Maybe that will catch on someday.....soon I hope. Peace and Blessings tatted2death

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  19.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 18 Dec 09

    This is an awesome post. And yes, Biigeyes, this is what you, me , and many others have been saying for the longest. I have these very same sentiments when I hear a person say that they only date a certain race whether it's their own or not. "Why would a person want to pretend that they dont see race which is such an important aspect of your being?" Very true! That's like saying you can't see a person's height or girth. Like you can't see if a person is pretty, handsome, ugly, a man, a woman, a human, an animal, alive, or dead. Race isn't part of a person's character, it's a part of our identities in our respective cultures. However, some people try to make race a part of their characters and it often gives the wrong impression to members of other races, which then leads to steretyping completely ruining it for everyone else of the race. For instance, Chinese in China are not focused on being Chinese unless they relate to or confront persons from another country/ethnicity. Until then, they have no choice but to see each other for who they are as individuals. Countries like the US, Canada, and England consist of many different races that are not equally represented, where one race is the majority by quite a large margin. This makes it very difficult for Americans, Canadians, and the English (amongst other racially diverse countries) to see each other only as their respective nationalities, and sometimes even harder to respect each other as that.

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  20.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 16 Dec 09

    Excellent James! This sums up what I have been trying to say all along. I will always question a non-black man attempting to date me who does not think this way. If he were TRULY interested me, my culture should be acknowledged by him and an attempt to learn the importance of that culture to me, made.

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  21.   Member says:
    Posted: 16 Dec 09

    Good post James. I'm curious about methods you suggest couples use to "merge...different cultures?" In advance, Thanks! Paul Carrick Brunson

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  22.   doctorjoy says:
    Posted: 15 Dec 09

    The issue with using the term "race" is that it actually promotes racism. there is , after all, only one race-the HUMAN race. "Race" is a socially constructed word, designed to promote power imbalances and prejudices. The Human Genome project has proven beyond doubt, that there are no genetic differences among humans, that could be attributed to "race". There are different ethnic and cultural backgrounds, language differences, etc., but we all belong to the same race. So perhaps you need to update your terminology to reflect this.

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