Can we divorce prejudice from dating preference?
Whenever one tries to explain why they prefer dating someone from a different race, they end up sounding prejudicial; not only to their own race but at times to the race of preference. Take the example of this white man trying to explain why he prefers dating Asian women:
“I find Asian women very attractive. The Asian features, black hair, slender builds, golden skin, and Asian eyes are extremely appealing to me … The Asian women I have dated were extremely loyal.”
The above can be taken out of context. For example, ‘extremely loyal’ could be translated by many to mean ‘submissive’ which doesn’t sit well with most Asian women.
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Lets flip the coin a lil': Why do Asian women date White men? A woman Michelle Phi explains in a previous post:
“I have never dated an Asian guy, and will probably never date an Asian guy… I’m a very Americanized Asian girl who needs a very Americanized male.” In the same post, another one says: “I think it is an issue of cultural assimilation. Overall, I have found Asian men too ‘Eastern’ in their thinking about women”
Sounds prejudicial toward Asian men right? Kinda like Asian American women think Asian American men aren't Americanized enough.
But however you try to put it or explain your dating preferences – interracial or same race – it seems to me there will always be some toes you will step on. For years, Black men and women have tried to explain why they date white women and white men respectively and it always sounds off; because half the time, in a bid to explain their preferences, they tend to say why they don’t date their own race.
But even when they give reasons why they prefer Caucasian, the other group can’t help but think the opposite applies to them. When one says white women are nurturing, black women can’t help but assume it means they are not.
So this guy asks “Why is the saying 'gentleman prefer[s] blondes' not held up to the same scrutiny as a White man who prefers Asian looks?” I mean, both are dating preference. But just because one involves dating a minority race, people are all eyes, reading in between every line.
So what is the best way to explain one's dating preference politically correct? Does trying to embellish the reasons for one's dating preference even matter or will it just sound prejudicial regardless?
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