Warning: This post may be offensive to some readers. This is not the objective. The post is in no way meant to defame or inflame any parties, groups or persons. It is simply meant to find out what people think about black white dating.
In a bid to explain why Black women get upset about Black men dating White women, Chris Rock in his latest stand up comedy says all Black men have done is exercised their option. He goes on to say Black women are angry because they are not attracted to white men so they can’t exercise their option. All they can do is sleep with “pretty white boys” but generally, black women are not attracted to white men.
In my opinion, the above statements suggest Black women only date interracially out of desperation. In fact, most Black men believe so. And the finger pointing between Black men and Black women never ends. I don’t think this is the case though and frankly, I have never understood why Black men and Black women have to come up with such crude and prejudiced remarks while trying to figure out the reasoning behind their counterparts’ dating options. YES! Options.
What do you think of Chris Rock’s theory?
As a black man, I have nothing against my black sisters, but am currently married to a white woman (the mother of my children). I have dated asian, white, native american and black women, all of whom were very special to me but just happened to fall in love with a woman who is white. I still get black women who get mad at me when they see us together and they really get mad when they see our kids but I say **** them, they ain’t paying my bills. I have nothing against white men who prefer chocolate over vanilla either, a man or woman should date whomever they want and not have to worry about what others think.
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Who in the hell is this Mr Laurelton Queens dude. This fool is going around talking like he is the shit. Well let me tell you something Queens, you really do not know anythign about black women and the way they live, so you need to shut your mouth and get a job. So no one has to hear from you again. You needs to grow up and grow two pairs, so you won’t be so bitter and cold. Black women are smart and as nifty as white ones. Quit nagging like a little bitch and get over your self, then maybe one day you will get laid. ” blogging legend” my ass. Black is a proud color and you need to quit hating.
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Black women do have a choice. Unfortunately, there are two types of Black women -classy and ghetto. Those in the ghetto have no option simply because of their attitudes, which could be altered. The classy woman, on the other hand, has an abundance of options. Whether they have short hair and other features that aren’t the “standard of beauty,” White men and many others are indeed attracted to them. It has a lot to do with attitude.
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This is an extremely late post to this topic, but I am in complete agreement TricciNicci and Big Eyes.. European men seem to be the way to go. I am in a serious relationship with a Czech man and he completely adores me, and embraces my African American roots. I was curious as to what some European men think about women of color, specifically black women. I was shocked to find that a lot of European guys, especially Central European men are quite fond of black women, and think of it as an exciting experience to meet one. I suppose it may be due to the lack of black women in Central and Eastern Europe. When I visited the Czech Republic I was quite popular with my boyfriends male friend, and he told me that a lot of them were intrigued by me. Apparently, they enjoy the attitude and confidence of black women, and were attracted to the more African features that they aren’t very used to seeing.
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To all my strong beautiful black sisters on this thread, please do not i repeat do not let these disrespectful brothers on here get you upset. I was just reading all the post on the website and i notice the sisters are not attacking anyone just voicing their opinions. Sister its a new age now, do not let anyone put in your mind that you are not wanted, they will never married you, we are last choice BULL SHIT! I am 25 year college graduate student with a masterdegree and will not settle for a self hatred complex problem man. Please black women open your eyes listen to their words and then close the door. Everyone has the right to date anyone they choose to, black men with white women ok great for them more power to it, black women with white men more power to it. Black man are comfortable stating their lust for white women ok fine. Black women the world is to big and fill with so many sexy non black men. Open your options up just like brothas has done.Stop thinking we have to stick by our black men bullshit , they dont belong to us ; they have made that clear and we dont belong to them.. I dont mind interracial dating at all. I live in new york and i see alot more sister and non black men couples which is fabolous. I love it !!!!!!
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@ MINDYA OWN ok your response was stupid and black women have beautiful babies from non black men as well,whats your point. A beautiful baby is a beautiful baby no matter what color they are, wow you really believe white is superior. Ladies look at this comment and you can see what i am talikng about. Black women please wake up and smell the coffee because we are dealing with men with real issues here that can not be fixed . We need strong men not men that have been brainwashed.
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Comment by Marissa on 11 May 2010:
“Black women do have a choice. Unfortunately, there are two types of Black women -classy and ghetto. Those in the ghetto have no option simply because of their attitudes, which could be altered”
—–
So you are saying a woman who happens to have the misfortune of living in the “ghetto”, can not live there and still be a lady with class? And, just because a woman doesn’t live in the ghetto, that automatically makes her classy?
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This is what was said.
“Comment by MzBrOwNSuGaR on 8 June 2010:
Comment by Marissa on 11 May 2010:
“Black women do have a choice. Unfortunately, there are two types of Black women -classy and ghetto. Those in the ghetto have no option simply because of their attitudes, which could be altered”
—–
So you are saying a woman who happens to have the misfortune of living in the “ghetto”, can not live there and still be a lady with class? And, just because a woman doesn’t live in the ghetto, that automatically makes her classy?”
Do white men think there are CLASSY black women in the ghetto? That should be the real question.
Marissa just stated her opinion on the subject.
Go ask some white guys if they like “class black women in the ghetto”.
You won’t do that!
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How can you call the black women who choose to date outside their race “Sellouts” when there are black men who date outside of their race? Would’nt they be considered “sellouts” also? It seems to me that you have anger issues toward black women. Because I’ve seen nothing in any of the comments that you’ve posted addressing black men who date outside their race as being “Sellouts”. Your problem is that you want for us, black women to be “loyal” to preserving our race, when there are black men who are not even “loyal” to preserving our race. Why should there be any loyalty in the preservation of our race by black women when the black men do not carry or hold that same loyalty. I personally believe that love is love and whoever a person chooses to be with, that’s who they’ll be with. However, your constant black female bashing just displays you as being vulnerable. I don’t know you from a can of paint as you don’t know me from a can of paint. However, I am just going off of what I have seen you post and the attitude and motive behind it. Also, need I remind you that you are on an interracial dating site constantly bashing black women. If you prefer white or other women, then by all means enjoy yourself. However, If you are not interested in black women or if you detest black women, then just stick with who you like without bringing the negativity in this environment. Just go with what you like instead of looking for ways to disrespect and degrade black women. I don’t know what your situation is or who has “rubbed” you the wrong way, but you need to get over it. Not all black women are trifling, ghetto, golddiggers. That would be like my making the statement that all black men are no good, or in jail or mostly gay or on drugs, but I do know that there are some good men out there. Most of them are taken or possibly gay, but I am not going to degrade black men because of my preference of dating outside my race. You need to let go of the hostility and live your life, because I am going to live mines. Oh yeah, you can post a reply, but I will most likely not receive it. I am a one timer on this site and will unsubscribe as soon as I log of. So if you have the need to continue to bash then go ahead. Nine times out of ten you are by yourself anyway, being consumed with hatred. And I will leave you with the all self consuming hate.
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@ Queens,
You concern your silly self wayyyy too much about what white men think. Could it be that maybe the real reason you don’t like black women with white men is you like white men yourself?
Fess up!!!!
I think the gay site is that way ——–>
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@ MzBrOwNSuGaR
you hit the bulls eye with this statement! lol
I notice he goes out his way to spread insults and make statement as to why white men will not date us. Why does it concerns him is the real question.
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more madness from the misinformed……This type of propaganda IS the SAND and salt being thrown time and time again…..
BIG PHAT PFFFFTTT….
Peace
tatted2death
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hey ladies, tricci, big eyes, bold, trustee, etc. what about canada,
1 we are not the usa
2 we are younger and dont have alot of the same issues at least not to the same degree
3 when we love you we love you and we will treat you good
i know what i like and i give no excuses or apologies its what i like.
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@tatted
“…because people, in general, do not know how to handle themselves online. They tend to let all inhibitions (and manners…lol) fly out the window. I mean, what man would walk up to a woman and tell her,”
—————–
I’m very very late on this, but I AGREE WITH THE ABOVE. IT IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN STATING HERE for the last week or so. People (men) in my case, cause I ain’t into women behave awfully bad. It’s a turn off. I’ve gone through the various ethnicities and so far I can say the same for Black and White men. I can’t speak too much to Black men because in the beginning I got very little attention from them. But it is mind boggling what goes on here.
Thank God someone “sees” what I see. I feel so friggin vindicated!
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Thanks to you as well, Petite….
I don’t know what it is…..I’d like to say lack of “home training” but I know most mothers at least TRY and raise their children with some sense….not wanting the ignorance to reflect on them at the very least.
All I can say is I know for a fact not ALL people/men are like this. In fact, today I had my faith renewed when a gentleman from these blogs sent me a very courteous email showing admiration for my views here……no pick up lines….no nastiness….no B.S. LOVE IT.
Peace and Blessing, Good People
tatted2death
P.S. I am NO ONE’s “example” of the B.S. you are trying to stick onto me……I don’t share hypodermic needles or don’t give in to every sexual desire the way you seem to think all women of color must…..THEREFORE, I am NOT in your “risk group”. YOU are a PERFECT EXAMPLE of an AZZ with no brain….but I won’t hold that against you…..P.E.A.C.E.
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@looking4life
It is wonderful that a caucasian man comes here,shows his face and makes a stand for his choices. May others follow in your path,sir. It is funny that you mention Canada,because I have been thinking lately of visiting and even thought about moving there just today at work,lol. I don’t know why though these thoughts crossed my mind. Anyways thanks for input.
Peace
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Just to comment Eric:
Hey buddy, maybe you statistics right, I don’t know. But I do know this: if you have casual sex with anybody you better have safe sex. Get your condoms ready, man, because if it is HIV you are scared of, anybody can carry that virus. That virus does not look for skin color. White heterosexuals get it too. Some 70-80% of estonian prostitutes carry it and they are all white. All most all of the infected people in Finland are white. Thousands of whites have died because of HIV all over the world. So, I don’t think skin color is here the major issue…
And if you want get serious and get steady and drop the condom, you can always get tested. That’s what we do here in Finland. Last woman I had an affair with asked me to get tested. I walked to a healthcare center, they took some blood, checked it and that was it. And at the same time you get tested for other possible viruses and VD’s. Easy, ain’t it?
So, instead of blabbin about how black women are spreading the HIV all over the place because they are black women, you can stop worrying about them and ask your white women get tested too. They might have the virus without even knowing it. It has happened. And if they don’t dare, you can always say that “Hey honey, let’s get tested together!”. Safe and fun.
If and when I meet a nice black woman and get into a relationship with her, you bet I get tested and ask her too. This is also my responsibility. I have to take care of myself too. Not just say that Those people carry the virus and Those people spread it around. Like I said: the virus does not recognize any skin color. And like I said: gettin tested every now and then is good for you and good for your woman.
I don’t know. Maybe it is different over there, but this is how we do it in Finland. There is no stigma in getting tested for HIV or anything else. It is just common sense.
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PS. HIV is spreading like a wild fire in India, China, Vietnam, Cambodia etc. Thailand has thousands and thousands of virus carriers too. So it really is universal. Not a black thing. It was not a gay thing either, even though that’s what they tried to say in the beginning. It is everybody’s thing and we have to take care of each other and of our selves.
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Poor, Poor Eric,
Is this your best shot? Did you sit up all night to come up with the therapist comment?
Another male such as yourself who’se responses are generic and recycled, wow!
Have you ever wondered why the world, doesn’t take you serious?
I’m so sad now, because of your response, boo hoo and bring on the paxil!!!!
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Eric. I don’t know if you are unaware that white men also go to jail and have homosexual sex there, get out and have sex with their old-ladies. There are also down-low white men, married with families who have mever beem incarcerated. I heard a story about men in the middle-east and how on Fridays they hang out with their prepubescent male partner.
Are you familiar with the “Sour Grape Syndrome”
Are you familiar with the laws that govern hate speech? Are you not already a member of a hate site where people concur with your way of thinking, and do you not derive more pleasure from that?
Are you trying to intimidate, disparage and or do you want other non-blacks to engage in prejudicial action against black women? Is that your goal?
If not, what is your goal here? Your underhanded insults are noted, counterproductive and no longer welcome, your misrepresentation of statistics about HIV and AIDS has been rejected; essentially your credibility is tarnished.
You are a fool if you believe someone from another country can’t know as much if not more about a country without living there. That is an absurd statement considering many Americans have never left the state they live in and if they have it has only been to neighboring states (and there is nothing wrong with that) it just does not make them subject matter experts on Americans.
Get some help or find a site that is more suited for your tendencies.
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To: Nikkle
Yes, I am “very? aware of the fact! Are, you aware that there are women that are also on the DL as well? It’s strange however that when it comes to women, then all of a sudden everyone’s on “mute”! Especially women themselves! It’s as though anything that’s associated with HIV/AIDS is always “black male” oriented. But, the facts paint a completely different picture. That’s, so sad because that unfortunately is exactly the way that the overwhelming majority of black women think today, because that’s how they’ve been programmed. Since Oprah’s show with Author J.L.King’s book on Black Men onThe Down Low” black women have literally been on a tear, trying as best they can to “separate” themselves from the HIV/AIDS controversy, and also their complicity, and accountability wherein. But, sorry ‘that dog ain’t goin hunt”! The real truth is finally emerging, and black women are in the eye of the storm…literally and figuratively.
Yes, there are down low white men…always have been! But, be honest how many times have you ever hear any black woman say that? Other than yourself? To be honest you’re the very first one that I have hear utter those words! Because black women have been mislead…again by the powers that be, as if only black men are on the DL, or are spreading HIV/AIDS. That’s the whole issue that I’m attempting to shed light on here. Because many black women are convinced that only black men are the problem…sure they are some of them, but it’s not just about black men…it’s about all men regardless of their race. I wish that I had a dollar for every time that I hear a black women say that she prefers to date white men, because of HIV/AIDS, and black men! It makes me literally choke, because of such foolish ignorance being perpetrated by them., but as I highlighted before are more than willing to give white men a pass! Maybe they just hate themselves that much that they’ll do almost anything to not be black, or associated with their own people. I don’t know. I do know that many of my white male friends have given black women a “wide berth”, and now consider them to be out of bounds! That’s the prevailing attitude these days in the general white community. Many however will never discuss it openly as do black people. but that’s certainly without a doubt on the table. So, if you’re choose to date IR, then that’s your personal business, but don’t engage in an activity just because you think that white men are HIV/AIDS free! Look at the numbers…black men and white men are in a virtual “dead heat” statistically.
You’re completely right about the Middle East,I and about your observations! I witnessed tha first hand when I had the opportunity to visit both Lebanon, and Syria a few years back. No, I’m not familiar with your ‘sour Grape Syndrome. Nor do I encourage negative thoughts, because the data is clearly there for all people to bear witness too! That’s our problem as a people we only desire to see the positive aspects, and ignore the reality of what we do concerning our attitudes and behaviors. This is why we’re in this situation today, because of our general attitudes towards promiscuous casual sex, and it’s practices. It’s far too common for both black men, and black women to have multiple sex partners, and also fail to practice safe sex! . And, that’s the crux of this entire scenario! But, nobody wants to see, or deal with the reality, nor the aftermath of irresponsible behavior, or their accountability for same. Sorry, but there’s not misrepresentation of the CDC’s data here! And, I’ll have no problem calling you a liar! Apparently you haven’t invest enough time in researching the data for yourself to even make that kind of statement. So, you are the one that requires serious education, and how to properly interpret that information. Nice try though. You should be invest your energies into seeking the truths, and not as per usual playing this mindless black women’s blame game.The data is there, it’s accurate, and for those like yourself that fail to embrace the facts that doesn’t mean that the facts are incorrect, it only means that you’re a non-believer. If, I were a black woman, and had those kinds of numbers labeling me, then I more than likely would also be a non-believer as well. It’s simply embarrassing, and reflects on who you are as women. Because just look at non-black women their numbers aren’t even close! What are they doing differently? Simple answer to that as well also…’they’re practicing safe sex! Perhaps you need to visit your local bookstore for a change, and not frequent the clubs as much…..perhaps you just might learn something!
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eric,
i dont post often and people like you are the reason why, you have been arguing your own topic .i have been watching your rude behaviour towards people who are not seeing your interpretation of the “facts” as it has been given to you. my question is this: do you realize the “statistics you have been feeding are subjective regardless of where they come from? and i will give 2 examples
1. in your effort to prove your point you stated that white men and black men each make up 40% of the total cases but black men only make up 26%of the male population(please correct that i know you will) and white males are what%. i do not believe that it will equally represent the equality in the cases filed hence the term minority referring th aa people.
2. is a term called “random representation” anyone passing grade 8 science will know that term: take a roll of quarters and throw them in the air enough times when they land approximately 50% will be heads and the other tails but some throws may be 60% 40% but after enough throws it may even out . now looking closer you will notice groupings where there will be 3 heads and 1 tail and in other areas the opposite. choosing the extremes ( the mississipi delta) may provide you with your “facts” what was the “control” to base their “findings”.
again, buddy its all in how you interpret the information. why do you think in an automobile accident you can get an “expert”to argue the same statistics with another “expert” but totally different hypothesis for the right amout of money, and what better way for the cdc to protect funding.
yes it does make sense for any sexually active person to be tested regularly especially between partners but if your a slut (male or female) that may not be far between and costly but a darn good idea. lastly stop taking your opinion from someone else form your own and be open to others i know this will surprise you but you cannot always be right.
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Whats up with this Eric? What does he want to say? That nobody should be with black women because they carry HIV? That nobody should be with anybody because they might carry the virus? That black women in Mississippi Delta are bad for ones health?
I don’t know what he tries to say. But I do know that if you go to the slums of, say, Mumbai, and study the HIV situation over there, it will be no roses. Or if you do it somewhere else too.
I knew a guy who died for aids back in the 80′s. He was white, well educated, in good profession, doing just fine, but got the virus anyway because back then it was supposed to be a gay virus. I know that most of the NEW HIV cases in Finland are detected among white heterosexual men who get it from Russia, Estonia or from Thailand. Yes, from white and asian women in heterosexual realtionships.
HIV is not a black thing, Eric. It is everybodys thing. Maybe you have some personal reasons to try to paint it as black womens thing, I don’t know. But I do know that is very dangerous to label it as such. It is not a minority problem. It never was. It is our thing too, yours and mine. We have to make sure that we don’t get it and that we don’t spread it. And we have to make sure that those who get it are taken care of.
So how do we make situation better? We edjucate people. We teach them to have safe sex. We talk about safe sex for teenagers and every one. Openly. Frankly. If the black women in Mississippi Delta are ignorant about it, instead of declaring them as a health hazard one should roll up sleeves and start to edjucate them about HIV.
The way I read those results is not that black women are guilty of spreading HIV. What that study tells me is that there has been no sex edjucation in schools, on tv, on news papers nor on media. And that goes to the heart of american double standards, just like yours.
Instead of providing good information for people, some want to deny that. “No sex edjucation in schools because that makes teenagers go out and have sex”. Like they don’t anyway? “No condoms because they make people have sex”. Like they don’t have sex with or without condoms? “Condoms are a sin” said catholic church too, particulary in Africa. That is a very smart thing to say over there, right?
Saying that HIV is black womens thing, or gay thing, or prison thing, or this or that minority thing is very very dangerous. And it is very very ignorant. When you say that black women are the main carriers of HIV, you actually say that almost nobody else is.
In one of your earlier posts you claimed that white men don’t go put with black women because they might have HIV, and go out with asian or latin women instead. So you were actually saying that these women do not have HIV. Which is a croak of sh**. I don’t know if you believe that or want to believe that, but I have news for you: those women can have it too. Nobody is immune. So whatever ethnic backround your woman is, Eric, you’ll never know untill you and her get tested. That is a fact.
And, I have never heard of anybody say that they don’t go out with black women because they might have the virus, so I have no idea where you got that information. Maybe from your pals. I’m a white guy and I date women, not their skin. I don’t care if shes white, brown, black, yellow, red, green, blue, purple, gray, emerald, or any other color. And if I want to get serious with her, we both take the test. Then we both know do we have HIV or any other thing. It is that simple.
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Let me get this straight:
So you’re saying that black women are the reason for this “national epidemic” of HIV? That those studies show that it is because black women do not practise safe sex, the whole american nation is at risk?
And you are saying that black women just f*** around regardless if they have HIV or not, because they are black women? And despite any education or information, black women just keep spreading the virus?
So are you trying to point out, somehow, that no matter what will be done, by education or in any other ways, black women just keep on spreading HIV? And, according to you, they do it because they are black? Because, like you said, it is all over the USA?
And are you saying, based on your take on these studies, that all black communities across US are spreading the virus? And this is because black women in those communities?
I’m just trying to get this straight here. Just focus things a bit so I could understand what is it that you try to say. Because, like you say, I don’t get it.
I understand safe sex. I’ve practised it for more than 30 years now. I’ve been tested for HIV and others some dozen times, just recently few months ago. Have you been tested? If not, get it done. You’ll never know before that.
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eric,
your ignorance astounds me, you choose to contiue to treat people with a lack respect and disdain because they dont accept the views that you have clearly been trying to pass off as your own. you stated black and white men were equal in risk each with about 40% of reported cases but are obviously representing populations very different in size. what are the percentile differences in the male population between white men and black men. 2 when originally starting the topic you stated the mississippi delta was the worst or most extreme sampling in the usa which is why it was chosen.IT IS A REPRESENTATIVE SAMPLING THAT APPLIES TO THAT AREA ALONE NOT THE ENTIRE USA. after admitting it is the most extreme why attempt to try and apply it to the rest of the country. where is the least extreme sampling? any area using iv drug use may have higher numbers regarding hiv/aids. my point, that apparently floated over your head is that you cant take the most extreme cases and try to use those as representative statistics. in order to validate those a larger representative sampling must be taken including others or the statistics mean nothing. i also provided a simplistic explanation on the theory of random sampling hoping you could understand it but i guess because the ones who provided you with your views havent given you an explanation on it yet. its quite clear you are unable to think for yourself so i will let you get back on the short bus with the rest of the “special” kids and go back to school.
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@tatted:
I don’t know what it is…..I’d like to say lack of “home training” but I know most mothers at least TRY and raise their children with some sense….not wanting the ignorance to reflect on them at the very least.
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Petite: I don’t think I go so far as to blame all of this behavior on “mothers.” Finally, not all mothers are created equal
All I can say is I know for a fact not ALL people/men are like this. In fact, today I had my faith renewed when a gentleman from these blogs sent me a very courteous email showing admiration for my views here……no pick up lines….no nastiness….no B.S. LOVE IT.
—————————
Oh, absolutely I agree. I’m not like this. LOL and many others I know aren’t either. I too got some understanding and appreciation from those who understood “me.”
PEACE
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Eric……dear man,
You know not who you are talking too….so it might be best just to bite thy tongue. I have volunteered at batter women’s shelters where I was in constant contact with women that had various issues…..INCLUDING HIV/AIDS. How the PHUCK can you claim I have my “head in the sand” or whatever??
YOU ARE IN DENIAL of your own BITTERNESS. EDUCATING is one thing……outright HATING is another. Since you claim to not be “interested” in my “desires as a woman of color” then YOU are the one that has let it ALL be known. I “see” you, “Eric” and you are as flimsy and paper thin as before…….get a new angle. “Caring” for the “community” is getting old. I tell you I “modify” my behavior…..you tell me it has something to do with “guilt”…..WTF!?!?! You probably will even denounce my ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING IN THE COMMUNITY (besides shooting my mouth off LIKE YOU) as something of a trifle. NO, MY “brother” YOU are the TRIFLING ONE. DANG IT…..DAFFY THE SECONE COMING!!!!
PEACE AND BLESSING to ALL
tatted2death
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@tatted
…..DAFFY THE SECONE COMING!!!!
Uhhh ohhh, “he” didn’t strike me as “it.” “It” has more anger. Good observation.
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Eric,
”To be misunderstood can be the writer’s punishment for having disturbed the reader’s peace. The greater the disturbance, the greater the possibility of misunderstanding.” ~Anatole Broyard
I’ve encountered this too many times on this site, Brother. I started reading into this debacle around 2am this morning but was just to tired to comment. This was almost the very the message my pastor preached 3 weekes ago and what a friend of mine called 2 nights ago to tell me she now has to face for the rest of her life (luckily not AIDS/HIVS though). I believe you bringing these facts to 2 threads where black women are crying foul is what seems most suspect… to some. Not to me, facts are facts, I’ve just been trying to see why these facts seem to be met with such resistance and that’s the only thing I can come up with. Even to the point of being called hatred? Some black women will gladly accept and proclaim that many of them are not married, more of them are in college than black men, or more of them are single mothers. But when it comes to anything that gives anyone the appearance of their supposed lack of responsibility, you get the responses that you’ve received. And their lifestyles may not have them at risks but they still have something to say. Many times you mention African American men in your presentation as well as our community as a whole. We are not talking about this enough, and whether you feel this should be just brought up anywhere (this IS a serious) is the debate. Just think, who wants to be reminded of adultery while they are about to cheat on their spouse. Sorta kills the mood. I always say that statistics don’t give account to circumstances. Whatever the circumstances may be, such high numbers in our community need to be paid attention to. I don’t have it, I don’t live the lifestyle if someone who has it, but as the saying goes, “If it affects one, it affects us all”. Thank you for sharing.
Sis (you know who), I need to talk to you about these exchanges.
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edit: (this IS a serious issue)
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eeerrriiiccc oh eeerrriiiccc
since you were incapable of answering my question i went to get the answers for you. in 2006 because that was the most recent year this info was available: out of every 100,000 of that group there are:
116 black males infected
55 black women infected
19 white males infected
4 white women
now on top of this :
73%of all new cases are male 27% are female
80% of new infections in women is from heterosexual intercourse
while only 13% of new infections in males is from heterosexual intercourse
AND 72%of new infections in males is from homosexual sex
now lets move on to my next question: 22 states are responsible for more than 73% of all aids cases …random sampling???
this information was based on the extrapolation of more than 576,000 cases.
broken down 1/16 aamen will cantrac aids/hiv and 1/30 aa women.
as i told you these numbers are subjective its all in how you spin them but the representation by population clearly does not support your hypothesis. all this data also came from the cdc. its nice that your education taught you to read now if you could learn to open you mind you may be able to comprehend. nice way to spin those stats little billy clinton coulda used you.
hope your having a great day.
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Eric, I’m kind of tapped out on research. I’m tired..I’m finished school and I’m so-so tiiired.
@All I did find an interesting site that may be of interest on this subject. No statistics but overwhelming concern:
http://www.blackaids.org/ShowArticle.aspx?pagename=ShowArticle&articletype=NEWS&articleid=820&pagenumber=1
below describes HIV/AIDS as an epidemic in the Black community. I’m NOT posting numbers. Just read it for yourselves and gleen from it what you wish.
http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/aa/resources/factsheets/aa.htm
More which sites figures
http://www.avert.org/hiv-african-americans.htm
Having gathered this info by doing a quick google search I find it hard to believe all of these organizations, governmental and non profit alike are conspiring against Black women. Lest we believe we are revisiting another Tuskegee project!
I believe this is a matter worth taking note of. I hope the messengers do not do it in a way to disparage Black women. I hope the messenger brings the “message” to enlighten, gear us up so that we can move in a positive direction concerning this crisis.
PEACE.
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Moderating the post so, I’ll just go ahead and post the info as found.
Q&A: Congresswoman Maxine Waters, Legislator and Activist
First Published: 4/19/2010 Page 1 of 2 Go To: 1 2
Just elected to her 10th term in Congress, California lawmaker Maxine Waters is one of the most powerful people of color in the history of American politics–and not to mention, one of the most powerful women. A staunch advocate for the poor as well as Black and Brown people, Rep. Waters has helped lead our nation’s fight against AIDS for more than a decade. She convened the first congressional meeting on AIDS in Black America. She also spearheaded the Minority AIDS Initiative (PDF), a $156 million program launched in 1998 to address HIV/AIDS in minority communities that has grown to about $400 million today.
But with the epidemic found in 2008 to be 40 percent larger than federal officials had previously estimated and primarily focused in Black communities, Waters is pushing President Obama to step up his commitment to eradicating the disease by earmarking more federal dollars for AIDS prevention, treatment and other services. We asked her to share her perspectives.
President Obama’s most recent HIV/AIDS budget proposed a 2 percent increase over prior spending. What does the administration need do to end HIV/AIDS?
Money is always key, and we appreciate any increase in spending, but we’d like to have more. [I, along with other members of Congress,] would like him to talk about AIDS more in speeches. He must insist that his AIDS czar have a greater presence. And we would like President Obama to make AIDS one of his top priorities.
Recently you circulated a letter asking the House Appropriations Committee to increase AIDS funding by over 50 percent. How many of your colleagues signed on?
Fifty-seven members signed my bill. I am happy with the support we’ve received.
A couple of years ago you sponsored legislation that would mandate HIV testing for federal-prison inmates. Where does that stand, and what do you think about Governor Schwarzenegger’s move to cut care for HIV-positive state-prison inmates?
We passed that legislation on the House side; we’re now awaiting the Senate’s approval. They’re backed up with bills. [But now that health care reform has passed,] we’re anxious to get the Senate to move on to this and other legislation.
Regarding Governor Schwarzenegger, I am outraged by his lack of leadership. He has had a poor tenure and he’s led California to the brink. My heart cries out for all the people affected by the cuts he’s proposing, including AIDS, home-supported health care, education–you name it. California is last in the nation in handling its budget responsibly. I am anxious for his term to be over.
AIDS Drug Assistance Program (ADAP) budgets are being cut nationwide while ADAP waiting lists continue to grow. Do you worry that ADAP is targeted because it assists low-income people with HIV/AIDS?
As we struggle in this economic crisis with budget cuts, we must set priorities and be good advocates for the important issues. ADAP is at the top of many of our agendas. We can continue being supportive–speaking up about funding, writing letters and rallying around those in need. [As legislators] we’re constantly flooded with requests to support many issues and programs, ADAP included. We will do the best we can.
Given the current fiscal resource constraints, our dysfunctional political system and the state of HIV/AIDS, what must HIV-negative Black Americans do to help end the epidemic?
First we must educate ourselves about what HIV is and is not. We must all talk with young people about how it is contracted and how they can protect themselves. We must encourage all of our institutions–schools, churches, sororities, fraternities and labor unions, places that are high-level and people-intensive–to [provide workshops and host discussions] aimed at ending the epidemic. We have not done enough of that; we think someone else is doing it. We must make this education a part of our daily lives.
First Published: 4/19/2010 Page 2 of 2 Go To: 1 2
With nearly 25,000 Black people newly infected each year and almost 40 percent of them under age 29 (PDF), do you worry that we will eventually be wiped out?
I’m more optimistic than that. This is difficult work, but it’s not impossible. I’ve been increasingly pleased about the growing support from the Black religious community. [In the 1990s] we were demonized by ignorant pastors who blamed AIDS on the gay community and had no intention of dealing with it. We now have many ministers promoting safe sex, holding discussions or distributing information on AIDS in the church. Some even have AIDS ministries. It’s very important that we have a national ministerial community trying to come up with solutions for ending this epidemic.
Tomika Anderson is a freelance writer based in Brooklyn, New York. Her work has appeared in Essence, POZ, Real Health and Ebony magazines, among others.
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@ All
I hope the first post with the links shows up so you can take a look. It is under moderation (which means it may never show up, LOL)
HIV/AIDS among African Americans
View PDF Revised August 2009
The HIV/AIDS epidemic in African American communities is a continuing public health crisis for the United States. At the end of 2006 there were an estimated 1.1 million people living with HIV infection, of which almost half (46%) were black/African American [1]. While blacks represent approximately 12 percent of the U.S. population, they continue to account for a higher proportion of cases at all stages of HIV/AIDS—from infection with HIV to death with AIDS—compared with members of other races and ethnicities [2, 3].
The Numbers
HIV/AIDS in 2007
Blacks accounted for 51% of the 42, 655 (including children) new HIV/AIDS diagnoses in 34 states with long-term, confidential name-based HIV reporting [3].
Blacks accounted for 48% of the 551,932 persons* (including children) living with HIV/AIDS in 34 states with long-term, confidential name-based HIV reporting [3].
For black women living with HIV/AIDS, the most common methods of transmission were high-risk heterosexual contact** and injection drug use [3].
For black men living with HIV/AIDS, the most common methods of HIV transmission were (in order) [3]:
sexual contact with other men
injection drug use
high-risk heterosexual contact**.
Fact Sheet from the CDC revised in 2009
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@ All & Eric
From my first post which is awaiting moderation I stated:
Eric, I’m kind of tapped out on research. I’m tired..I’m finished school and I’m so-so tiiired.
@All I did find an interesting site that may be of interest on this subject. No statistics but overwhelming concern:
I went on to list two more organizations within that post (which ain’t showed up).
To date, over 225,000 African Americans have died of AIDS – nearly 40% of total deaths – and of the more than 1 million people living with HIV in the United States of America today, around half are black. And yet, as a racial group, African Americans represent just 13% of the US population. The estimated lifetime risk of becoming infected with HIV is 1 in 16 for black males, and 1 in 30 for black females, a far higher risk than for white males (1 in 104) and white females (1 in 588).1 In Washington D.C, which has the nation’s highest district HIV prevalence (3%), 76 % of those infected are African American. 2
So why are black Americans so disproportionately affected by AIDS in America and how do black Americans themselves view the epidemic? And what is being done to limit the number of new cases of AIDS being identified in clinics across the country?
*My final comments in the first post with the three links are as follows*
Having gathered this info by doing a quick google search I find it hard to believe all of these organizations, governmental and non profit alike are conspiring against Black women. Lest we believe we are revisiting another Tuskegee project!
I believe this is a matter worth taking note of. I hope the messengers do not do it in a way to disparage Black women. I hope the messenger brings the “message” to enlighten, gear us up so that we can move in a positive direction concerning this crisis.
PEACE.
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Ok…..first to ICH….
I can’t speak for all the women who have responded to “Eric”….but I will say this much….
….OF COURSE, I know this is a serious issue….(will not bring up my active hand in dealing with PEOPLE that are actually coping with HIV/AIDS again….since it was ingnored/down-played the first time, I DEFINITELY know who and what I am dealing with in the form of “over-educated Eric”) but one wonders about the motive. I certainly can appreciate one attempting to educate but if YOU couldn’t see the hatred in some the lines that that brother typed then chances are it wasn’t directed at you. (people rarely see wrongs that don’t affect them). You act as if I am telling him he is lying or that he is a fool for simply stating what he believes to be true. You know better than that. His first post in here was NOTHING SHORT OF INFLAMMATORY….with all the “denial” and “head in the sand” talk. And then when a woman speaks up in her own defense she is deemed “immature” or “foolish”. Would he not respond the same if the tables turned??…..Would you not???
As for my REAL intentions…..all you need to do is just ask….I will tell you plainly. My purpose here HAS NEVER changed. I am HERE to set the effing record straight…..to filter the B.S. for those who can’t or won’t. B.S. is B.S., even when gift-wrapped in “truth” it still reeks to high-heaven. For someone to claim to not have anything against Black women then proceed degrade her and her “big attitude” (just because she won’t buy your spiel) is nothing short of repugnant. Everything you say rings with nothing but hatred due to the fact that you CAN’T just STICK TO THE FACTS. YOU ARE MAKING IT PERSONAL in every sense of the word. Dude, I don’t care if you are black, white or purple…..if you come in here throwing sand (whilst pretending to “inform”) I WILL CALL YOU ON IT….PERIOD……DEAL WITH IT!!! If you did want a “reaction” you should have stayed on the “CDC Blogs” (PFFT) or why not go preach this stuff on the street corners WITHOUT all the IR rhetoric….IF YOU REALLY CARE SO MUCH. IF you arebeing sincere, you would have simply said I was barking up the wrong tree and left it at that. But no….you continue on with put downs and pigeon-holing. YES…I called you an AZZ because anyone that can’t get their “agenda” together before coming into a forum such as this simply is just that…….IT’S NOTHING PERSONAL THERE.
Case in point:
When a statement like this is posted
“Why aren’t all these black women out there talking about all these black women using all these drugs, and sharing dirty needles!”
Anyone with eyes can see something else is going on here….the over-usage of the word “ALL” implies SOOOOO much on each occasion
But I am done dissecting Daffy the Second……he KNOWS what he’s doing….AND SO DO I.
Peace and Blessings to ALL
tatted2death
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oh yes…..forgot to say …..
the “honorable mention” of “black men” in the issue at hand DOES LITTLE IF ANYTHING TO MASK THE THROWING OF THE SALT. If he just kept that madness down he might have an excellent platform to discuss something that IS important TO ALL. But making it (at it’s core) about “black women” (all that’s missing is the “nappy headed”….PFFT) polarizes it to the point of MADNESS. Any sort of broad-minded discussion is not possible with someone of this mentality….PERIOD.
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Well well, Eric. Where did you ever said that black women are the reason for this HIV epidemic? Right here:
“To: Sam
It’s just amazing that individuals just like you seem to have this inability to “read”! Tell, me where did I ever say that black women are the reason for the national epidemic in the African American community? What I did say, and will stand beside that fact is that black women are the primary facilitators for the continuing spread of this deadly virus, because of their continuing attitudes of denial towards their failure to embrace “safe sex practices” as do other non-black women! yes, and that’s a fact! And I also stand by that as well! So, get your facts straight before you come here shooting out at the mouth fueled by only emotions, and not facts as they really are!”
There you go: “black women are the primary facilitators for the continuig spread of this deadly virus.” So you blame them. It is their fault. It is because of them.
Now, I don’t know your personal history nor your backround, so I really don’t understand why you hate black women so much. Maybe your girlfriend slept with your best buddy, maybe you got the virus, maybe nobody has been interested in you, I really don’t know. Maybe it has something to do with your mother, like Freud would suspect. What I do know from your words is this: you blame black women. You see them as the guilty party here. Period. It is their fault. You say it again and again and again. They refuse to practise safe sex even when they are university educated! So, black women demand unsafe sex! They insist it! They force men to have unsafe sex and so the poor helpless men get it? What are you? Three years old?
Whip your rubber out buddy before you dive in. That is how the adults do it. If your woman demands unsafe sex, you can say no. Is it somehow not possible for say no? Is it somehow not possible to have safe sex with a black woman? Because that is what you suggest when you blame the black women for spreading the virus. What you DO NOT say is this: who they are having this AIDS infested dirty sex with? Who are these helpless, poor victims that the powerful demonic black women are raping with their HIV infected overbearing bodies with? Yeah. I guess black women are sooooo powerful that you can’t just help it. If a black woman, in her evil state, demands unsafe sex, a man has no other choice but to take it. Pity those poor men who fall into the hellish trap of the black women!! Right? What a crap that is.
“So, get your facts straight before you come here shooting out at the mouth fueled by only emotions, and not facts as they really are!”
Eric, you should know by now that we, the White Devils, have no emotions. We are capable to asses any situation with icy cold calculations. We can and do make our mind by simply thinking. We don’t let our emotions get in to our way, you know. Like Mickey Rourke says in the movie The Year of the Dragon: “My hearts been broken thousand times, but guess what? I don’t give shit!”
So where as your thoughts are fueled by fear, scare mongering, religious zelotism and some very elementary misogynistic ideas, I look at the whole situation very calm and collected way. I see it as it is. Ok, HIV is here. It is a fact. How can I deal with it? How we all should deal with it? And, like your own president said: yes we can. We can deal with it. But you can’t.
Instead of looking for any answers or solutions, you go for that Good Ole Witch Hunt mode. It is the women and particulary black women! Let’s get them before they get us! Put up the stakes! Light the fire! It is those evil, ungodly black women who, despite their high education, continue to spread the virus! It is their fault!
They do it on purpose. They don’t care even if they know, so they must do it on purpose. And what that purpose could be? Some satanic evil unchristian reason I bet. This is what you are saying, suggesting.
Maybe your preacher hates women, maybe you are into hating women, I don’t know. But I do know this: when you look for the guilty ones, you are not looking for solutions. You are looking for somebody to punish. And this is the real question: Why you want to punish black women? What they have done to you?
PS. Did you get tested already? Be part of solution, Eric. It helps to ease your pain, what ever that is.
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Good Morning,
First off I would like to take this time out to thank Ms.Tatt for articulating so well her insight pertaining to Eric’s motives, thank you dear Tatt, you and I are on the exact page with this one! Your response was worded perfectly! You confirmed my suspicions about this one!
Observation pertaining to his genuine motives, of all the topics on this blog, why did he choose to speak on this under the title “black women have no option”? I wonder why not a more appropiate title such as “can sex with a stranger be intimate”(Feb 09), or, “do women prefer polyandry to monogamy”(Dec 08).
Another observation, his initial comment about the subject matter was on June 22( I don’t copy and paste so if anyone wants to read it, scroll up the page). He said what he wanted to say and he also suggested to reference the CDC, I wonder why he couldn’t/didn’t just leave it at that? Now since no one replied back to him about their findings from the CDC or anything else that he had to say, then maybe, just maybe, the conversation could have ceased! Was this not a possibility? I’m wondering why no one bother to keep going with the conversation???? Maybe some of us saw right through his BS, and true motives from the very beginning!!!
Tatt did make a comment on the 27th of June, however, she did NOT mention his name, her comment, as I read it was about, the tone of his comments. This is when the second red flag went up for me when he responded back to someone who NEVER mentioned his name!!
So he then responds to Tatt with that condescending tone, and his feeble attempt to minimize her thoughts, by referring to her as a “poster child” of some sort. Maybe it’s me, but had his TRUE intentions were to enlighten, or inform, he should have been ABLE, CAPABLE, and WILLING to respond WITHOUT the INSULTS to Tatt and everyone else that he has insulted here! And of course, the insults has yet to cease, and why, because this is his SOLE PURPOSE FOR BEING HERE! I was born at night, but it wasn’t last night!
I’m also wondering why is it, how is it, and what does it say about your character and your motives when a person can come into an environment, such as this site, and immediately attack someones character and you know nothing about them? Tatt has always been CONSISTENT in being fair, and open minded and if his so called true motives, were so obvious, then he would have, should have, made a conscious effort NOT to judge her unjustly, and then further insult her with his MEAN SPIRTIED COMMENTS! The wise teacher with honorable intentions do not intentionally REPEL other’s! This has NOT been the case!
So Ich, for me, this was NOT about his message or facts, this was NOT about the messenger, who happens to be a black man, this was about the how, and the manner in which the messenger, brought his message, and most of all, it is about his true motives!! If the message was coming from love and concern, we would have seen it! True love in any form is evident!
People can, and do try to mask who they really are, but no person is that clever, the REAL you can NEVER BE HIDDEN!!
FYI, I have been in the medical field since 1982, with the exception of the years in the Military. I’m sure other’s here may have a medical backround as well, so the assumption that we are clueless about HIV/AIDS was a further insult!!! Motives?
Evil exists, and thrives when good people sit back and do nothing!
Last, we as a people(decent, and caring) should be SICK and TIRED of the people that are SICK and TIRED!!
love
godiva
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@SAM & ERIC
MY EARLIER POST POINTS OUT THE MAJORITYOF NEW CASES IN MEN (72%) ARE GETTING THE DISEASE FROM A– PUNCHING OTHER MEN. 80% OF NEW FEMALE CASES ARE FROM MEN. so obviously its the men leaving the deposit that are srpreading it. dirty needles and drug use is still a contributing factor but at nowhere near the same levels. and i dont know where “petite chick” got her numbers but they are not significantly different than the ones i found. bottom line anal sex is the most high risk for all people male or female.
@ tatted, petite and sam
maybe this hooligan gets it now and he will get back on topic “are there choices for black women?” and its nice reading all your comments thx
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Tatts,
I understand where you’re coming. I stated in my post that it noticed his comments seemed suspect appearing in this thread as well as another about black women and their choices. Possibly because “Can Sex With A Stranger Be Intimate” and “Do Women Prefer Polyandry To Monogamy” don’t have a significant black female presence. Talking about this subject to a predominately white male and female audience would be like talking to a wall or “selling out” in my opinion. As you know, I don’t like people using their race’s opposite gender to justify interracial dating, but I haven’t heard the “black men have AIDS” excuse before on this site. Arguing outside personal beef in a forum of folks unaware of what or why they’re mentioning something IS a big pet peeve of mine.
So please, Tatts, don’t take offense to my comment regarding this issue. I’m the kind of person who listens to what a person has to say regardless of how they said it, then take how they said it as a means of how to deal with them going foward. I heard what Eric said and struck me as personal given some recent events in my heart and mind. Especially all of the “hatred” speak. That irks me everytime I hear it. But it is what it is. He says his intent was not to offend, maybe he should have found a better way to present hst ideas and fact or respond to his detractors.
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Eric,
I’m with on this, however I totally understand why these women have expressed their grievances.
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edit: “with you on this”
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@ Eric
“PetiteChick did not crunch any numbers. Had you read every post I posted you would see that it came from the CDC “fact sheet” as revised in 2009.
Further, “Lookingfor”, I found websites NOT FIGURES. Don’t you come throw no shade now. The post with the links did not show up (URLS)
I will WRITE THEM OUT SO THIS CAN POST. Dig it?
1. dubya dubya dubya Avert. organization (you know how to fix this to paste it in to your browser.
2. dubya dubya dubya CDC. gov search for Fact Sheet: “HIV/AIDS” Among African Americans. The site lets you search.
3. FINALLY, dubya dubya dubya BlackAids . organization
Every bit of info I found on google comes from there. You didn’t read. I told you that once before!
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PRIOR POST, NOT FOR ERIC, BUT FOR “Lookingfor” (sorry Eric – please disregard but I will come back with thoughts on your approach at bringing the message)
Comment by PetiteChick on 16 July 2010:
@ Eric
“PetiteChick did not crunch any numbers. Had you read every post I posted you would see that it came from the CDC “fact sheet” as revised in 2009.
Further, “Lookingfor”, I found websites NOT FIGURES. Don’t you come throw no shade now. The post with the links did not show up (URLS)
I will WRITE THEM OUT SO THIS CAN POST. Dig it?
1. dubya dubya dubya Avert. organization (you know how to fix this to paste it in to your browser.
2. dubya dubya dubya CDC. gov search for Fact Sheet: “HIV/AIDS” Among African Americans. The site lets you search.
3. FINALLY, dubya dubya dubya BlackAids . organization
Every bit of info I found on google comes from there. You didn’t read. I told you that once before!
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@ Eric
HIV/AIDS should be a problem that plagues society for all of us. It knows no color, no economic status, nor does it care how one acquires it.
I feel your presentation on the matter has been laced with blame it on the Black woman. Now if maybe, just maybe had your approach been a little different w/o the Black man hatred spin, folks could have listened.
I have also reaffirmed what was taught to me by my parents that you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink when you get him there. Having said that, bring the message honestly and let those that can benefit from it do so. Those that choose not to – will not if they are not so inclined.
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eeerrriiiccc,
again i can see that comprehension thing is a problem for you isnt it. if over 60% of new infections is from homosexual sex that means its 2 men. and if over 70% of new infections for males is homosexual sex how are women the primary facilitators??? as well almost 3/4 of all new infections are males.over 80% of new infections in women are from heterosexual sex meaning they are getting it from men not the other way around statistically speaking. now because most black women only date black men where are they getting it…hmmm i wonder??? now if you are indulging in anal sex which is therefore the riskiest form of sex and are unprotected i dont care who you are it is your fault and no one elses. i am sorry to tell you but the statistics you just posted do not i repeat do not suppot your statements. again it obviously is a comprehension problem you may wanna head back to school.
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ok Ich….you might not believe in the “hatred”….but ANYONE can recognize “OVERKILL”…..PFFT.
This is the equivalent of “preaching to the choir”…..NONE of the ladies here are disputing or denying anything he is really saying and YET he goes ON AND ON AND OOOOOOOOOON…..GEEESH.
Daffy needs to rope in his “minions”.
PEACE and BLESSINGS to ALL
tatted2death
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@Tatted:
“…Daffy needs to rope in his “minions”.
umm and yeah while he’s at it, tell Malarki5 to leave me alone!
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eric,
wow you still cant grasp the concept. if over 70% of new cases in men is from homosexual sex it means 2 dudes. approximately 40% of those are white and 40%are black. i dont care if you say they are bi or if you say they are dl or even gay, bottom line (no pun intended) they are the #1 reason for spreading the disease. if 2 dudes are butt punchin each other without their boots on does it matter which category you wanna put them in because hetero sexual sex ( with women)is not the #1 cause for spreading the disease, thats why over 70% of all new cases are men. the stats you provided in yesterdays post clearly shoe that. who is in denial buddy, at first you bothered me because i thought you were just an ignorant prick now i clearly see the educationa system let you down, you dont even understand your own writing. how pathetic is that notice you are the only person i am responding to directly. all the education in the world means absolutely nothing if you dont know how to use it.
sincerely,
looking
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