I have to agree there is a large number of loving couples within the black community. That aside, we still have a crisis within black relationships. For eons on end, black women and black men have been at each others necks … still are. They experience this when trying to date, marry and even stay together and most of these attempts end in mutual misunderstandings and mutual blame.
In the book What’s Love Got to Do with It?: Understanding and Healing the Rift Between Black Men and Women 77.1% of black mothers tell their daughters negative tales about black men. And those who don’t get the dirt from mommy have on going ‘reality shows’ – their parents’ relationships. And this could be where the urge to strangle or b**ch about every black man that walks by starts.
But what is more surprising is that people feel interracial dating within the black community is what is causing more of this frenemity. Check out what one blogger asked: “When did splintering off to date outside the race, looking for a successful partner anywhere but within black America, and promoting the myth that black men are “players” and black women are “emasculating” become the norm?”
Splintering off? Is that what people call it when one opts for interracial dating? Let’s not even look that far … I have seen the fires members on this blog ignite just because of black-white dating. Makes me wonder if other communities have this love-hate relationship of their sexes.
So when did this frenemity between black men and women actually begin? How are we to explain these heightened levels of tension and conflict between them? What could be the root cause of this turbulence? Is interracial dating (black-white dating in particular) the main cause? Really?
I’m not aware of any myths, but I understand, dude. I don’t know many Filipinas that personally do not like black guys here in Jacksonville, Florida, but you don’t see many romantic relationships between them. Only platonic ones, friends of friends and such. However, not many asians women interested in black men come up in the searches on this site. Maybe they’re just not members. Who knows?
Now as for the old Filipinos, there are some that seem to not trust us very much. I was making a delivery to a house in my company van and uniform. An old asian lady was sitting on the porch, and as I got out of the van and started walking toward the house with my customer friendly smile and package in hand, she quickly ran inside with the most frightended look in her eyes as she closed the door behind her. Her daughter opended the door immediately with a big smile and spoke to me in a manner as to let her mother know not to be so paranoid. It was quite funny to me. Half of my friends in high school were Filipino or of other asian backgrounds. I was very cool with their parents so I know all of your elders are not like that. Take care, bro!
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Just read your comments islandsun and your right many races are now dating outside there race.And your right white men and white woman dont bash one another for doing it so we should not either.
There are people who are putting out blogs to divide black men and woman and that is their real aim.
Thanks shotgun007 for stating that white women rip into white men and iam sure that some white men has misgivings about white woman.But do they state them publicly on blogs, how silly they would look.
I always say quality is in the person not in the race,i hate reading blogs that slag of black and
recomend white people. Yes black men and woman have the right to broaden their scope when its comes to looking for love, because iam considering it myself, but if i do go with another nationality iam not putting up a blog saying ” yeah leave black woman date white women they treat you better”. When black people do this where the ones that end up being the biggest losers, but some black people dont see this.
Respect between men and woman
Julius
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Timbo said:
what really makes black women so frustrating is that they are so sexy. So you can’t just write them off and ignore them for being a bunch of knuckleheads.
Menelik says:
and sexuality is where Black women’s power truly lies! Look at the sista on I Love New York and confirm for yourself what Timbo is saying!
Problem for many Black women is they don’t have the FEMININITY to back up those astonishing curves and cat sensuality.
Flat-assed Asian ladies do and so if they choose to move over to Black men will have no trouble finding men desperate to interact with genuinely feminine females.
Menelik Charles
London England
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In response to you Menelik, I will only repeat what Julius stated above your blog.
“Thanks shotgun007 for stating that white women rip into white men and iam sure that some white men has misgivings about white woman.But do they state them publicly on blogs, how silly they would look.
I always say quality is in the person not in the race,I hate reading blogs that slag of black and
reccomend white people. Yes black men and woman have the right to broaden their scope when its comes to looking for love, because iam considering it myself, but if i do go with another nationality iam not putting up a blog saying ” yeah leave black woman date white women they treat you better”. When black people do this we’re the ones that end up being the biggest losers… ”
Have a good weekend Menelik Charles and Julius.
Love to the both of you.
Aaziah
http://www.PrettyOnPurpose.Ning.com
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Menelik,
Menelik is the name of a famous legacy of Ethiopian Emperors. Do you speak Amharic? You can learn it online nowadays. I can’t understand the alphabet though. Cant translate to our 26 letter alphabet.
A lot of large Ethiopian communities in America nowadays. Lots of Orthodox Ethiopian Churches too. I love Enjera and doro wat! Their Greens are just like our African American Soul Food Greens!
I am not an intellectual. Dude, they are everywhere here in Texas, Minnesota, and Washington DC.
Ichibod,
Great discussion on Virginia and George Lynch. You should visit Williamsburg, VA one day. An entire city of actors portraying life when half the city population was black slaves (black slave actors and all).
Nigerian rice is the bomb! It will make your eyes water.
Africans communities here demonstrate a solid black male/female family structure.
Generations of young people in America follow change course in their trends from the last generation. Who knows…. Africanization may take hold here and this generation will be the old-timers who follow whites.
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Hi 85 Guy,
no, I am not Ethiopian. My parents aire from Trinidad but I was born in London. My granmother gave me the name Menelik at birth. He was the son of King Soloman and the Queen of Sheba (Ethiopia) and their great love is mentioned in the Old Testement. This is where my gran got the name from.
Btw their are many Ethiopians in London, and there is even a place to eat called Menelik. I eat their often and I am treated like a local celebrity lol
Regards
Menelik Charles
London England
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@ Whoever,
First, I do not have a blog. Second, I do not advocate black men leave Black women to date inter-racially. Third, telling a truth is NOT bashing. Fourth, I am not on here seeking to date anyone. Fifth, I do NOT date outside of my race…ever!
Menelik Charles
London England
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My Friends,
A. From being oppressed to being a success. African American women had to work at a much earlier point in our African American timeline history than other women did in theirs.
B. Our timeline history is not as long in years as the timeline history of other cultures. Our culture is less than 400 years old.
C. Working for and equal to a man as slaves. After slavery as sharecroppers, nannies, cooks, maids, laundry women. They have always had an economic equality with their male counterparts. Sometimes they were the sole economic breadwinners in the family due to prejudice and discrimination.
D. Other cultures are thousands of years old. Womens rights are just a drop in the bucket on the timeline of their culture. Not to pick on them, but the Asian culture had been around a long time. Women in Asia may have not even earned money for 200 years there of their multi-millenium culture.
This can make them more “feminine” and needy.
E. African American influence and example made things better for Black people around the world. Progress in Black America meant change for the better in other areas of the world through inspiration or influence.
Conclusion: Respect African American women. They are the reason we survived as a people during the hardest of our cultural times. That survival lead to a brighter day for Blacks of other cultures and locales worldwide.
Menelik my Brother: Imagine if you were to tell an African American woman that you understand this truth. You are a man from another black culture that benefited at least somewhat indirectly from their struggle. Imagine how much brighter their response would be to you.
African American Woman: You have a heritage of working equality of sorts for a larger timeline percentage of your cultural existence than any other women in the world have in theirs. This is what helps makes you “sexy” to some and I am afraid to say unfairly “unappealing” to others outside your African American culture. Know that your ancestry and present day contribution has benefited all black people worldwide either directly or indirectly. If they get on your nerves, remind those black men from other cultures of this in as “feminine” a way as you can.
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I don’t hate Black Men, but they have wronged me one too many times. I love my brother, father, and relatives, and that’s about it.
I find it hard to love Black Men or even becoming friends with one. It’s like the ones around me are all the same, and act immaturely.
I mean, I’m very young and so are all the guys around me, but White Guys at least act maturely and a lot of them are smart and goal oriented . I think it has to do more about lifestyle and culture than race. I’m attracted to the lifestyle of most White Men. While the fake acts for a lot of young Black Men turns me off.
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Here’s is really were the divide happens , In many cases in the past years I here this from all my blk male friends barely a month with many mind u, not all within a relationship some blk women will ask a man to pay a bill its never a small bill and its understood that he is expected to pay that bill from that point on. It like if you care for me you will do this. Lets make this clear brother is single and has the same basic bills as well. He does not have a magic money tree out back to pay an additional unplanned bill monthly in addition to paying for all the dating activites.
In most cases most white females reading this have no idea what i,am talking about here.They will bring their men lunch with out him asking and even an occasional surprise present or too. When you treat real men well the payback from us is automatic but if you make us feel like we are just a additional income , is where the problems are this in not all cases but in many is the biggest difference between black and white. THE PERSONAL FAMILY DRAMA, the ex boyfriend payback or hanging around drama , the dogs in house drama and letting an animal= them damn dogs in the house decide if your man is keeper or not is just plain not appreciated and not very intelligent. If your man is in the house put them damn dogs outside ! Your girlfriends are jealous of you and your new man especially if they do not have one of their own and never ask a man why another man did something ! Because in most cases we have no idea why we did something , and your gay male friend is just jealous and hating too hell he probably wants your man too so just like your girlfriends his advice is messed up as well. ! and he knows nothing about us straight men at all,and if baby daddy is not paying support or in his child’s life on a regular=weekly you need to move him out of the way too.He deliberately runs other men off while he is laying up elsewhere ! It does not matter if you like it or not but i just told you whats wrong with most black on black relationships . Do not make a good man pay for your past bad relationships or break his savings account to please you.
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“Do not make a good man pay for your past bad relationships ….”
You make all the sense in the world, ezrhino….so let’s just broaden your statement a bit by repalcing “man” with “person” and I think we will have cover all the bases.
Peace and Blessings
tatted2death
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@ezrhino,
Bro you sum up many of our predicaments without malice. Well done! That was one hell of an achievement!
Some sistas’ are terrified of criticism lest it lead to deeper issues relating to themselves. I trust whoever reads your comments is able to sense no malice towards the sistas (or those who could be) was intended.
Menelik Charles
London England
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“Do not make a good man pay for your past bad relationships ….”
More like don’t make a good man end up with Renee. Any woman that gets divorced after 20 years should voluntarily take herself off the market and go to choir practice or play bingo.
Good day to everyone.
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Dear ezrhino2001
Your right man. Many black women think all they have to bring is their “vagina” to the relationship and everything is ok. Some with rather large vaginas ( I won’t name names).
Black women never come out and say “pay my bills”. It is a long elaborate story about how “hard up” they are. That is why so many men spank their loose booty and leave them. You never approach a man from a position of weakness. The sharks will come out.
Actually many black women do it to themselves. They preach about being “independent” and ” I am strong black woman”. Then you see them “riding the bus” with a frown of their face. I just drive by and wave at them.
Even worse the black women that got a man and sleeping “with other men”. Yea they got a good man at home and got their legs up in the air for thugs and low budget unsigned rappers.
Man if they come on this board saying I am lying. They ass sleeping with one of them right now!
Oh another thing, black women saying they don’t mess with men in their “town” or “state”. Man, black men got “radar”. We know a slut when we see one. You cannot hide. I don’t care if you went to Alaska.
I am gone.
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Today has been a very long and overly emotional day for me, but I’m still blessed to be here…
I couldn’t let this day go by without “HONORING” a very special young man, he is no longer with us and had he been allowed to live to see this day, and be treated with dignity and respect, he would have been celebrating his 68th birthday…
Rest In Peace, Emmett Till, you paid the ultimate price, and your mother went to her grave, never to have justice served to those who took your life at the tender age of 14 yrs old..
love
godiva
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Correction,
Emmett Till was murdered on this day, my apology…
Emmett Louis “Bobo” Till, July 25, 1941- August 28,1955
love
godiva
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Nowadays Mississippi relationships are different. They migrate to Texas cities all the time and there are a lot of interracial couples of both types between black and white.
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Dear 85kguy,
your observation is correct. My beautiful bi-cultural, ‘bi-racial’ daughter moved to Dallas from Munich, Germany, recently. All her mails describe a good number of BW couples and very, very polite and kind Texans of any shade. Which I also experienced during my vacation there.
My children did not grow up, surrounded by prejudice. My son in Miami Beach told me, neither he is aware of prejudice. He thinks, perhaps he and his sister do not recognize it, because they do not know how to look for it.
Is this IGNORANCE – or a great advantage, not to carry this load on their shoulders? We think it is the latter, and it proves how much impact the past has on all of us!
As a result, they are open to any form of intercultural relationship, as long as their values are met.
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I could go to Romania and not experience prejudice. However, the indigenous Romana/Gypsie peoples experience it every day.
Gypsies were euro slaves in their ancestry. Madonna spoke out on their behalf and was booed by most in the crowd at a concert with 60000 Romanians.
Being from “somewhere else” helps, especially when you are young and providing companionship (and sex) to the community pool.
Economic control and impact are different. On jobs and in politics. Large pools of hispanics/mexicans provide a scare as do large pools of blacks here.
Asians own their own shops a lot of times as do peoples from India and Pakistan. Anyone who does not must assimilate. Large pools tend to have their own culture and marry their own more often.
We are fragmented. That is why even Obama is having trouble getting acceptance for Universal Healthcare. Something that people who act like one people in other countries already have.
Police deaths always seem to involve blacks.
These black women who are educated are assimilating. Some are very young and predominately the attractive and educated among black women. They can provide some beauty to the assimilation.
Communities run by black men are poor communities. Locked out for decades by white banks. The black business districts were chosen for destruction when our current highway system was built over 50 years ago. It left a lot of black communities devastated and without their economic base.
Now a lot of blacks must scurry to assimilate. They move farther and farther from a black community concentration. Lots are too young to know the past. All they know is assimilation.
Bi-Racial children carry characteristics that have made them attractive. Especially if they look attractive.
One of the most attractive slave women was named Sally Hemmings. She was the slave of Thomas Jefferson (and his concubine)in the 18th century. He was a wealthy slaveowner who became our second president.
In a way she assimilated. Yet slavery was all around and did not impact her in her day for the most part.
With the economic control so low for blacks and bi-racials in the industrialized world I am afraid that your children may just feel that prejudice one day.
Let’s hope not. I know it all too well. All you have to do is align yourself with the local indigenous black community and it will greet you every day.
Ask some of the whites here who love local blacks. They experience looks, stares, and even comments that are very disturbing for them.
It is also a patchwork. Some regions are more progressive and others more threatening.
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85kguy,
Thank you for your insight and candid observation’s.
However, I do have one question for you, if the state of Mississippi black and white relationship’s have changed, for the better, then why the need for the citizen’s to “migrate” to Texas???? The relationship’s may have improved somewhat over the year’s, but obviously not enough…
My grandmother, who by the way lived to be 105yrs old, was alway’s asked by many, “why do you go out your way to be so nice to people”? Her answer would alway’s be, “I’ve already had a taste of the heat and evil of hell, I lived in Mississippi and I don’t want to spend an eternity in another Mississippi”!!!!!!!!
From 1870-1970 some 900 African Americans were lynched and murdered in good ole Mississippi, including Emmett Till, Rev. George Washington Lee and Medgar Evers. That’s almost 100 familes, and future generations, per year, for a hundred years.
Cleve McDowell was the first black to enter Ole Miss, school of Law in 1963, unfortunately for him he had to “migrate” to Texas to finish Law School. Eventually he was murdered in 1997 because he “migrated” back to Mississippi to be a part of a group of black leader’s who were organizing and pressuring the District Attorney’s Office to reopen cases that were never prosecuted, cases in which blacks were killed for doing civil right’s work..
In 2007 Charleston Mississippi had it’s first ever integrated Prom for the High School Students, this only happened because Morgan Freeman, the actor, intervened and paid for the entire prom. Even still, there was such an opposition from white parent’s that they held a seperate prom for white student’s only, this was just 2yrs ago..
Last but not least, I feel I should explain why I alway’s remember Emmett Till… His story has alway’s fascinated me and haunted me as well… I was not alive when he was murdered but it was one of the first stories that I ever heard about and I have been somewhat obssessed with it ever since.
Also when I hear and read the comment’s that are sometime’s posted here on this site that are inflammatory, offensive to black men, I see it as a slap in the face and another injustice to Emmett Till and for all the black men who were lynched and murdered, and of course all black men in general…
When I hear the remark’s that are in the same tone toward black women on this site, I automatically think of Mamie Till, Emmett’s mom, my mom, my grandmother and all the black women that preceded us and who paid with their lives… What’s really disturbing to me is the one’s who have this type of mentality and irresponsible vocabulary, TOO many of them do not know that Emmett Till even existed!! And if you think about it, Emmett’s life, his early death, his destiny, is why you(men) are priviledged enough to date/ marry a white woman and not be physically murdered for your choice.. One of the many reasons given for Emmett’s untimely demise, was supposedly because he “whistled” and/or “looked” this white woman straight in the eye, and for that his life was cut short….
love
godiva
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Remember my final sentence:
“It is also a patchwork. Some regions are more progressive and others more threatening.”
People from Mississippi, Oklahoma, Arkansas, and Louisiana come to Dallas and Houston, Texas. They come for jobs. It is not all, but there are large presences drawn the Houston, TX area and the Dallas, TX area as well. That is people of all races, creeds, and colors. Lots graduate from their area colleges and get recruited while others come for opportunities to work more blue collor non-degreed work.
Dallas-Ft Worth is the 4 or 5th largest metro area in the country, such an area with opportunity is also a growth area over the last 20 years.
Local blacks here traditionally are “South Side” and all development and opportunity is “North Side”.
The Univ of Texas at Dallas is not in Dallas, TX. It is in Richardson, TX. Far north (far opposite black area) side.
Raytheon, Cisco, Ericsson, TX Instruments, and any other company of note is located Far, Far, Far, Far North Side. Leads to a great lack of exposure for young blacks to professional role models here.
These would be indigenous Dallas blacks. Dallas, TX is just getting its first public law school inside the city limits. Yet, its tax base is the greatest economic power for hundreds of miles around.
These things came as a result of American “White Flight” in Dallas. When blacks became more a part of equality in this region. The American banks constantly went under trying to finance the economic genocide of black communities like Dallas, TX southside by moving development away from the center where they could get access and exposure. over 600000 people now live far north side. A place where there were only trees and coyotes a few decades ago.
When you look at Dallas, TX and see a map. You see a tangle of loops that come together. We call it the mix master. Thats where the local black business district used to be.
On a positive note, I learned all this in school here in Dallas, TX. I am “90s” a migrant from the Hampton Roads area of Virginia.
Maybe you all can understand that regions past control your future. Why some are opposed to dating and others are not. How they feel it is treason and others feel it is progress.
I came to the website for the Africans. They are free of the past but not a betrayal to what happened to the local black side of Dallas, TX.
\
Yes, World Citizen, your child/daughter in Dallas, TX will be ignorant to things i am afraid.
Lets all get back to DATING. Lets have a party, not a funeral!!!
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Dear 85kguy, thank you for the many informative facts, which were necessary for me to get a bit more educated, regarding the Dallas situation.
My daughter is a stubborn woman, who wants to find out what’s happening on her own. I admire and respect her for doing so – she has always been that way and so far it worked for her.
The question is – is it not an advantage to be ignorant to things which are ridiculous and may not affect you after all?
I enjoy reading your comments and think, including the very sensitive and educational comments written by godiva61, this blog has risen to higher levels!
Enjoy the last few Autumn days – best wishes!
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Hey World Citizen (From Germany),
Quiz for you:
Famous black restaurant in Dallas,TX ends in the word Brown. Has 3 words. What is the name of this famous Dallas black restaurant?
What I am demonstrating:
1. How many times did you and your daughter visit what is Southside Dallas?
2. Does she live Southside? Work Southside? Does she have eyes and ears for southside? Friends in soutside dallas?
Conclusion:
Here in Dallas her success may rely on doing things Germans did to the Jews when they were being rounded up decades ago. Ignoring them and their plight.
Don’t answer, just process it!
You saw far north dallas and the northern surrounding suburbs. That is it. Maybe some downtown tourism and thats it.
Oh well, maybe next visit (lol).
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Hello Godiva61,
Without an understanding of your region by name I cannot really give the correct slant on portraying one US region experience to another US region too easily.
**Answering you**:
I have seen black with white Mississippi couples come here as well as others for jobs. Most are black women with white men. They are very young men and women.
**Another story**:
I had to take government college studies here in TX since I am from Virginia. A beautiful, tan, busty readhead girl named Kim was from Mississippi. She wanted to date me!! I studied and sat behind her in two classes.
I was already living with a Dallas black girl who was 10 years younger than me. So I told her I couldn’t date, aid I was spoken for.
A few years later she saw me at the local mall. She ran up a hugged me. She was with her mother at the mall and I met her.
She was from Mississippi!! True story that I swear on just as sure as I am probably darker than you (lol)!
Hey Godiva61 Baby! Your writing style is “sweeter than a paycheck”!!
LMAO, back to dating and chasing LMAO!!!
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Dear 85kguy, you are correct again.
She does live in a lovely northern Dallas community – temporarily – with friends, who are an educated, openhearted, well to do BW family, partly from Kentucky. They took us site seeing, while I was there, including the southern part of Dallas. We saw what we already knew from any other city in the U.S., except the ones which Blacks seem not allowed in. There are such in any part of the country.
IT IS A SHAME. However, I personally have not met any Black person who is reaching a higher social level, wanting to stay in such an area. President Obama receives all my respect for not having turned his back on Blacks during any time of his life, especially when he was reaching a high social level.
By the way, neither my children or I are German. But what would be wrong with that? She happened to live in Munich, perhaps the greatest place in Germany – endless recreational possibilities and beautiful nature. Germans can be wonderful people and the new generation does not take responsibility for what was done by Hitler, although they are aware, it must never be forgotten and repeated in history. There are so many other nations, who carry a similar burden, many even having killed their own people. Any continent you look at shows this aggression in the human race, including several countries in Black Africa. It is happening this very moment.
Take Heidi Klum, a beautiful open minded German and Seal, a Black Brit, they make wonderful babies, have a great life and I am sure they are not at each other’s throat about who did what to Blacks or Jews.
To change the subject -
The hilly landscape and many lakes, north of Dallas, were quite a surprise to us, and I repeat the many kind and friendly people of ANY SHADE.
I wish you and all others a fresh start into lovely September.
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85kguy, – Oh, and we do not like to eat in restaurants, as there are so very few reliably good ones.
We prefer freshly cooked mediterranean style cuisine with the best ingredients
we can find, prepared at home.
When the weather gets a little chilly, we also prepare the best soul food – at home. We enjoy wine with our meals and it is also an advantage, not having to go home in a car, after a great dinner.
Maybe you’ll run across my lovely daughter – she can not be overlooked. She may invite you to an unforgettable dinner party with her multi-culty friends.
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IT IS A SHAME. However, I personally have not met any Black person who is reaching a higher social level, wanting to stay in such an area.
Tatted!!! Ich!!! Aza!!! Queens!!!
If I turn my back on S. Dallas I may get a higher social level!!!
Tatted!!!
I’m gonna just give out the olive branch now and take a break.
Frisco,TX is far, far, far, far, N. Dallas and would be nice for your daughter World Citizen.
You have a blessed and wonderful day.
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Dearest 85kguy, I did have a ‘wonderful’ day in a small ancient town in Hungary. The only problem was, I once again saw some poor Gypsies, who are not wanted in this town, which did give this day a bitter taste. Gypsies are haunted in Romania, Hungary and especially Slovakia. A famous Hungarian, nominated for a Nobel Peace Price, made it very clear. Gypsies should not be forced into integration, rather they should be tolerated and respected for their values and a different life style, which they should be entitled to. I fully agree.
Today I was told by a Hungarian, that his relatives in the country side are bothered by Gypsies, who come in the middle of the night, stealing their potatoes out of the soil. This shows how poor they actually are.
Luckily people do not carry guns in this country, otherwise there would be terrible blood shed.
I think it was necessary for the world crises to happen – maybe some people start being aware of the imbalance – at least for a few decades, as things will never change for the good forever. I apologize, for having a good life!
85kguy, I may get on your nerves for being so ignorant, I already got on some one else’s nerves who sent me off to a nursing home.
I understand your impatience with the UNFAIRNESS in this white world, but as I said before, your time will come.
I apologize for having gotten off the SUBJECT ON THIS BLOG and repeat:
You warm hearted, open minded Black women and men deserve to find a perfect match, regardless of color, to give you the happiness and satisfaction you deserve.
Love and Peace!
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Me and my team telework. We have no office. We may show up in Hungary and visit you at the nursing home!!
They need overseas connections with people.
Some of the crew may be interested in meeting some Eastern Euro young women brides.
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Dearest 85kguy,
Unfortunately I already left Hungary, so you will not reach me there. As my nick name shows, I happen to be a WORLD CITIZEN.
Presently I am looking at mass graves in Bosnia – excavated just recently.
This reminds us, ‘humans’ have yet not learned.
Please take a new breath and try to understand that I am not here to hurt anyones feelings, especially not the wounded souls of Black people.
English, being my second language, may be more complex than I thought, as what I say is not twisted and manipulated for the first time.
I have full compassion with Blacks. I do not dare claim to be able to walk in their shoes, never will I be able to!!! With all the knowledge and compassion, lets not forget that there is and has been WHITE TRASH. Which shows, it takes more than ‘just to be white’, to make it in life.
One thing I can do – show my honest, warm feelings. There have been plenty of people who were open enough to receive them.
You appear to be an educated, handsome man, who has a somewhat bitter smile on his image. I am convinced, if we met and faced each other, your positive attitude would come to the surface, and you would start relaxing.
Certainly the harm which was done to U.S. and other countries’ Blacks can not be emphasized enough. Nevertheless, this is probably not the best place for it, if you are really serious about finding a nice girl. Portraying yourself as positive, will attract more women. If you actually consider interracial dating, there are some decent, stunningly beautiful Eastern European and German women I could introduce you to. On the other hand, why reach out so far, if these blogs are crowded with highly educated, warm hearted, mind blowing beautiful BLACK WOMEN and some of less color.
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I can explain that easily!!
1. Not all professionals are limited to one locale anymore. Teleworking is here at many companies. I am and my colleagues are full time teleworkers. We work with world-wide counterparts who also used to be limited to a desk job.
2. Men and women have tried here and wind up like the blog (friend/enemies). Most are not from the region where they worked and built up their careers. It is a great disadvantage in acceptance of what is available and requires unsatisfactory compromising for most all men and women here.
3) Regional assimilation is about more than a layer of race, even when you are of that exact local race.
Your worldly daughter may (I say may) have assimilation compromise problems in relationships in narrow-minded Texas. I have seen women and men from Chicago go single forever here.
4)People are not satisfied with “dating”. They want to move beyond that stage with some decent measure of haste. That is just not in front of any of the people here on this website and part of why they are here.
5)People here are part of a stream that pushes them with a strong current toward opportunities here that take them to either other regions of their home area or other regions of the nation altogether.
The farther your career goes the less compatible you are with the locale of your level of success.
The goal is to get out of the stream and into stability and personal fulfillment and happiness.
As a black or a white here it is about not accepting the compromises that our economic life puts on our personal life.
Your son and daughter may be both in the USA. But Miami and North Texas are two totally different regions, influences, and peoples. Even the spanish population in each area is not the same culture. One is predominately Mexican and the other is predominately Cuban.
For all here. The local options are unsatisfactory compromise for the most part. That is part of why they are using this medium in the first place.
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@ ichibod
Tell it to Oprah. Maybe you should have read more, a lot more before you posted your runny discharge of a comment. The topic is valid. The comments have been valid. You are just dying for the attention that your dad evidently didn’t give you, which is evident by attempting to sound angry at a topic that you obviously don’t understand. The people who stated that this wasn’t an issue, are talking about interracial dating in general and not the topic at hand. Trust me. I’ve read all of these post and have been apart of it since the beginning. Learn some history about your race and what we have been through, sista girl. It has nothing to do with living in the past, it’s about correcting our present for a brighter future in sptie of our past. And all those, “a person should love who they want”, “Love has no color”, and “we all bleed red blood” comments have no place in a blog about the rift between black men and black women.
As I said on April:
“…these topics are getting very old. Many of them start with some white person’s opinon, then some black women’s beef with that white person’s opinion. Followed by the typical lame , “Love has no color, we are all the same”, comment. After a little of that garbage, more crap that has nothing to do with the topic, then a black man comes to the white person defense, and maybe a counterattack from a guy who just wants his flirt to ‘beef’ chick accepted, and then the heat is on and you never see another comment from a white person for the rest of the blog. Just back a forth, black men and women not getting along in a blog asking why black men and women don’t along.” I called this out long ago and what have you seen?
“Why must someone put down another to justify their actions, I have no idea.”
You sure don’t. That’s exactly what we are here to discuss.
TYRANT: You are so right, this issue NEEDS to be discussed because not only has this problem exist, it’s evolved into a PLAGUE that’s infecting a lot of black women and men. People can say that it has no place on an interracial site, but that’s simply NOT true. Sadly, a lot of the IR relationships are fueled by either black women who hate black men or black men who hate black women.
Don’t take my word for it, all you have to do is visit any message board that deals with the subject of interracial dating and you’ll see black men and women slugging it out with GUSTO. What sickens me to no end is the fact that both sides consider it a badge of HONOR to not only bash each other, but degrade and demean the very features that make us black and beautiful. I’m so DISGUSTED with the saying “Love has no color” that if I hear it one more time I’m going to go on a shooting spree. Love may not have a color but preference does.
I don’t care how interested I am in dating women of other races I can’t see myself fixing my mouth to bash, demean, and degrade the BEAUTY, STRENGTH, INTELLIGENCE, and POWER of black women. Why? Because not only would I be insulting my mother, who’s a strong black woman, but I’d be displaying my STUPIDITY for all the world to see.
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Right on tyrant To many people in IR relationship say love is colour blind but it is not because you has chosen one race over another so love cant be colour blind. There is nothing wrong in having a preference but black people must stop slagging each off to justify their preference.
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Finally, someone who makes sense in here.
I found your words very encouraging tyrant, and I commend you for speaking the truth with honesty. It IS sad, I’ve said before it IS sad to see blacks pinning each other in a choke hold to get their points across.
I don’t really know the ‘true’ intent of everyone in here, but I am glad to see that you would never bash a black woman. I wouldn’t do it no matter how many bad relationships/experiences with white women I may have experienced. That would be preschool behavior for me to do, and summing all the comments in this ‘entire’ blog of the ignorant, you stand out to me, personally, as someone genuine.
I have made some ignorant comments before, but I always come back to apologize and admit the childishness in me at times. I apologize for the things I have said before, but because I realize how stupid and asinine I sound. Sometimes we all get heated in the moment and say things we don’t mean. I wouldn’t apologize if I ‘really’ meant some of the degrading and preschool comments I have made.
Unfortunately, this entire blog has comments forever entwined with NO apologies.
And the beckoning of engagement breathes unrest.
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Let me interject here
Seems like people here like “dancing around the real issue”. I am on the clear extreme concerning the traitor ways concerning black women. I make no apologies for it. They can date white men but they rather run their mouth about “how black men treat them”. I repeat, we don’t focus on what black women are doing until they “mention black men in a negative way”. Oh yea, their delusional lies bother me too. How the white man is going to rescue them from a “mixed income neighborhood” to meet their white parents. The story is always positive of course. One black girl told me her white boyfriend’s grandfather gave her his WW 2 Medal of honors. I asked her “what you did with it”. She said ” Oh I lost it” but Billy understands.
Man you lose my grandfather’s war medals. You would got a can of whoop ass on the spot. I would say bitch go find it, I don’t care how long it takes!
I don’t see white women do this shit to white men on such a large scale. Let me touch on another thing. This is what pisses me off. They keep saying their a “shortage of good black men”. Like they know what “good” is. If they knew what a good man was they wouldn’t get the backlash they are getting.
There is a shortage of good black women. Take away the obese delusional black women, the “career students” that complain there is no good men after they had their noses in their college books up until 35 years old. I am happy you got your degree but stop it. You wasn’t focus on no man until you got desperate. Then you got the “single mother” black women. They want you to be a step daddy to their “bad ass” children.
You ever seen a white man with a black women with “bad ass children”. I do hear black women with their manicures talking about ” Billy took me on with my kids”. I have yet to see evidence of this.
If black men are fed up with them. How long will it take white men to see the “light” on them.
My final thing with white men dating black women. Get a backbone, stop letting them walk over you. Yea it ok to say “stop yakking to your nappy headed friends all the time”. You don’t even got to be politically correct. You don’t say “Uh honey can you make some dinner”.
You say “your ass been here for how many hours”, I come home from work and you ain’t make dinner. That way you cut out her excuses when she says ” I ain’t a maid”. Man you ain’t maid but I could have been single and HIRED A MAID!
I plan to finish up my manuscript. “The Guide for Black and White men to understand black women”.
Oh yea, I did a post on this Black woman Author. She wrote an article called “MEMO TO BLACK MEN: GROW UP.
I was livid ya dig. She admits she is 40 years old and dated a white man (never worked out) and rambles on about “unity with black men and women”.
You want unity but you want black men to GROW UP!
http://www.mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/
I am gone.
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Queens:
Let me know when your manuscript is complete. I want to check it out.
Thanks and peace
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more of the same…..the blind leading the clueless……LOVELY.
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Thanks, Tyrant.
I was laughing so hard after I type “Tell it to Oprah.” It was kind of wrong. She didn’t say anything that bad. I really just started picking on her for no good reason. Shame on me. Pretty funny exchange back then.
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Love concurs all. Can’t you see what’s happening here folks. As I read all the post its the same old thing—BLACK vs WHITE. I’m so sick of it, so the antidote is interracial relationships. Can the white/black race survive this? Probably not. Soon the Elimination of both races that were once and still are taunted with hatred, inhumane treatment, an unrectifiable history, self hatred, and taught bad habits , will generate a new beginning and just maybe we can all get along! History has tarnish the Black Man and Black Woman. It has broke down our men, taken away their pride, stepped on their dignity. It has and still is beating our Black men down. It has taught our men how to escape, and our women to survive without. Some stay strong and take the beating in order to persevere; others punk out and give up. So How can two elements (when put together) like this survive the pressures that are thrown at them daily, each strong in his/her own character. Yes, we have a few that did weather the storm and we (as a race with the spirit of unity) almost made it but a new generation has weakened all of our efforts and accomplishments and we are back to where we started from. I’m not saying the answer is to run to the nearest white man or white women but only to let love prevail where ever and if its with your own race I commend you for you are definitely a unique entity and that is what the Black Family is a rarity. Its sad to say (because we look so good together) but life goes on,and change can be good. I being a Black mother love to hear “I can’t see myself fixing my mouth to bash, demean, and degrade the BEAUTY, STRENGTH, INTELLIGENCE, and POWER of black women Because I would be insulting my mother, who’s a strong black woman.” It fills my heart. Just remember you are not insulting your mother or any other Black Woman if you choose the other culture or race as long as you keep the respect and in the practice of respecting one will not bash, demean, or degrade. Also stay true to yourself. So in answer to the original question when did this frenemity between black men and women actually begin? How are we to explain these heightened levels of tension and conflict between them? What could be the root cause of this turbulence? ANSWER: History is the disease, love is the formula and interracial relationships are the results. Testing is in process!!!
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I have an interview in the morning and should have my behind in the bed, but I just had to weigh in on this conversation…I’ve seen it a few times and didn’t want to get into it. Mostly for the same reasons I, being from the Southwest don’t want to visit the homelands of my father’s people in the deep South. I just can’t take the pressure of all the channeled energy there.
When I was a little girl, my parents taught us about the world by taking us into it. We traveled a great deal. When relegated to home, my father would bring us many gifts from the Far East upon his return. Beautiful Asian dolls, gold bracelets and jade chopsticks with hand crafted inscriptions in gold were just a few.
When we lived in Europe my parents would ensure we visited different cities and gained exposure to the sights, sounds and experiences afforded us. We visited the castles and markets, had much discovery and loved the freer, non-American lifestyle. Mom would take my youngest sisters to the zoo with friends or join us for a field trip through purest of snow by train, whose carpet was stained the color of pomegranate red. We’d visit some special place like Kriss Kringle Mart in The Black Forest. There were days the tailor would come to outfit the older girls or a shopping trip would be arranged for the purchase of school clothes.
My parents were very popular because everyone knew both my father and mother would help anyone and everyone. No matter their color, creed, nationality, religion, race…No matter their station in life. My parents hosted many beautiful parties on the weekends. My mother, in the prettiest and latest styles, was the most gracious and exquisite hostess.
My sisters and I would sneak down the stairs to listen to the adults telling their tall tails of wonder…the music and laughter trailing up to where we huddled trying to be unseen, but yearning to be close to the evening’s soire. At these gatherings every color and nationality would be seen, both mixed and unmixed, but all in acceptance. Sometimes formal, sometimes informal, but the best music of our generation, my mother’s wonderful world class cuisine invitingly offered with my father’s deep knowledge of the finest spirits…all made an inviting evening any intelligent person would want to be in the company of.
My parents did not spend their time deriding us or hiding us from the world. They taught us how to live in the world. How to have kindness, dignity, hope and to not be of the world but above it.
And though we had a blessed life, my parents balanced it out for us. With a measure of discipline most American’s would rebel at (not to say we did not, we had our moments), but it almost went without saying, “To whom much is given, much is expected”. They never forgot our birthdays (Though every year I grew, I was convinced they would), holidays for sure, and how to give abundant love. They were not perfect and made mistakes too.
But, of all of this – the clothes, travel, rewards, languages, gifts, toys, lavishings undaunted – in all of this. The greatest thing my parents ever did for us was to teach us our history. To tell us who we were and where we came from. That has now become who we are and where we are going.
My father had a thing for learning and of course my mother as well. He would make competitions to motivate us to learn. Yes, he would pay us, but it worked.
“Funfzig Mark zur ersten person, die erlent, fließendes Deutsche sprechen.”
Translated:
“$50 Marks (German monetary bill) to the first person who learns to speak fluent German.”
The competition was on. My twin won. I just learned. Deals were made, the spoil divided (that meant we went to the baker and the candy maker and had aching bellies later). That’s the way it was.
You see, with our history learned we were free to explore and widen the depth and base of what knowledge we had been given. We weren’t made to constantly encounter the one specific thing about ourselves that anyone else could know or see as though that were our specialty and all we consisted of and all we were ever to know or be allowed to know. No, it was far greater.
Our parents started with an oral history. Always teaching us where Eygypt was therefor insuring our minds could not be poisoned by Western Civilization’s textbook lies. In fact in high school my sister and I had to teach the African portion of WORLD HISTORY to the entire class because our very handsome, very educated, married-to-a-Caucasian-woman World History teacher did not know this.
Of course, he, like many, had learned his history from school books and an entire educational system which denied, replaced or refuted any contribution to mankind as a whole by people of Black African ancestry. He nor his wife, who she and many others as well, had been brainwashed into believing greatness WAS in Eygypt, therefor Egypt must not be in the tainted environs of Africa (The WHAT?) – The Dark Continent.
We struggle because many of us have forgotten, others have never been taught the very essence of our CONTRIBUTION. There really is no argument amongst the African American woman and man. What we have is the strange chemical reaction when you take one element of the human genome and try to make it fit the repository for a being who has no hereditary standing, historical place or value in humanity (As in contribution because contribution is an element of actual survival. From then till now, every degree of the human race must contribute or mankind would not continue).
By placating us with lies designed in Europe’s Dark Ages many deceits have been spun. Those deceits need to be undone by our choosing. They must be undone through the Diversity of Love not the Adversity of Hate.
We all know the story, we just forgot the specifics. By telling us our women are loudmouthed and forceful, when in truth they have been raped and denigrated. By telling us that women in our culture hated her own seed into humiliation and spiritual castration, when her love was manipulated away from him and forced into a darkened cave. By telling us our children are unaccepted, unenviably stupid, so the silver thread is cut early and those children now suffice as coal to drive the engines of the prisons and NOT the universities. By manipulatively cautioning the African American man and woman into enemy stances we often gladly accept because the lie is easier than the Truth.
Can anyone tell me the benefit of hate to humanity? Just one. Even those who engineered this cannot stand on the conceived notion that hate works. Besides that hate is an economic tool devised to drive markets. Because people are not microchip computers (yet, teehee) when hope dies not only Black will disappear but so will NON-Black (When drugs were introduced by the CIA to destroy the prosperity beginning to show in the inner cities, they eventually crept into the NON-intercity. FACT! The CIA has since apologized)!
What we can do is ask ourselves, each of us, where did we come from, where are we going? You began in a beautiful place before the dawn of what is called civilization. As a genetic group, Africans know more science and language, developed more systems and sequences than any other beings on the planet.
Can I share a secret? One of the reasons we accomplished so much is because we, from long ago, have always been many shades, dialects, cultures, knowledges, diversities and ethnic strands to begin with. We weren’t interracial, we were INTRAracial.
___________________________
Now some of you have run into me and several of us tend to disagree, but before we tear each other down, can’t we just find some common ground?
If you could remember what I can see, long days before we were you and me, if time could turn its hand again and we returned where we used to stand.
You would know how God loved us so, enfolding us in then telling us to go, we were to share with all what Love we knew and when we did this world grew.
Brother and Sisters don’t forget we are the Masters of All, The World in our hands before our Great Fall, there is farther to go and farthest yet before the Glory of Old reaches its pinnacle yet.
You see if we let go now our glue will be undone, then what’s to be of the Love we have sunned to all the people the world over our Light has shined, the history reveals that Light is Divine.
It is a weight we’ve carried sometimes upon our back, but to much is given the blessing’s return far richer than that, the pain we felt disdain and more but no man puts asunder the Greatness stored.
So smile greatly even let the reason be small for the Gift you carry lets the WHOLE WORLD walk tall. It is so clear who was here first and we shall not finish last but the treasure and mystery lies within for you to grasp.
Abide in this – Hope – and learn to Love – All – never forsake the knowledge of who you are, Stardust and light, reflections of the past, Love for humanity illuminates the Risen Star at last!
~H. Elocin Nomael
_______________________
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“if its with your own race I commend you for you are definitely a unique entity and that is what the Black Family is a rarity. Its sad to say (because we look so good together)”
Finally, another comment about how black men and black women are still best friends. I thought I was going to be the only one. Great post, Reality!
It just so weird to me how, with all the negative comments being throw around amongst black men and black women in other threads, this should be the place to do it… if anywhere. Yet this has fewer posts than the others. As long as it had been going on, this topic came around as sort of a metting room for us, but not many came. They all chose “Why some Black women only date White Men”, Why white men love the black woman”, and “Black women have no option” to express their grievances. Then many got offended because the topic “White men are least attracted to Black women” comes up and brings all of the proposed solutions the problems raised in the afore mentioned topics to question. I must agree with a previous blogger when she said:
“…should have my behind in the bed”
HA! Okay, knock it of Ichibod. I’m going to work.
Have a great day everyone!
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I forgot to mention the title of the poem is “Risen Star”.
As well, I want to take a moment to thank each and all for the blessing of being counted amongst you. I especially want to send Love to:
My Black Sisters for being, yes, Strong in the face of adversity. Walk Tall Sisters, the time is at hand. There is a great example who the world is watching. She has found favor in the eyes of the world and illuminates us in her comings and goings.
My Black Brothers for being one of the first to walk beyond Hate into the Arms of Love at a time when you felt none recognized your still great appetite to love and nurture. Thank you for having the desire to mend the path home to see your BEAUTIFUL and WISE Mother and DESIROUS, ENRICHED, LOVING, DEDICATED, SUPPORTIVE, EDUCATED, WORDLY, HUMBLE and INTELLECTUAL Sister. She is your helper and uplifter. She is your conscience and guide loving you through the destruction of the maze.
My NON-Black Sisters for recognizing our beauty and for permitting us to recognize yours. Many of you do exceptional jobs loving the children from the fathers of our cultural heritage. Keep loving them so as they grow they can build Love within themselves and share it with the world.
Finally, My NON-Black Brothers, especially those of you from the Caucasus Mountains (Trivia: *Who knew there were people of Color in the Caucasus Mountains centuries ago?) who stand today not in fault or need to pay the debt of your forefathers. Nevertheless we owe loyalty to help rebuild anything and all people undeniably torn down. Simply because your forefathers gave you the very tools to HELP build back up. Turn hate into LOVE turning away from the lie and towards the TRUTH. When you see me, Every Woman, walking down the street remember I Am Woman in need of a GOOD Husband, GOOD Son, GOOD Brother, GOOD neighbor and he, my sweet, just might be you.
Done with my shout outs, lol!
Now for those of you who enjoy history as much as I, here’s a bit on the Russian Poet Alexander Pushkin. I found this on a website one day and thought it’d be great to place on here. I think this thread could use a little ‘historical perspective’. I hope you agree.
Note: The Ibrahim mentioned in the second paragraph below is Ibrahim Petrovich Gannibal, The Blackamoor of Peter the Great. He is also the great-grandfather of the infamous poet Alexander Pushkin.
The quote is a female member of his family or a closely knit tie to his family. Her insight shared proves that many concerns are ages old and adversity will probably never win but diversity is deliverance:
“‘….he (Peter [read, Pushkin, the poet) wished to make examples of them and put (Russians) to shame by convincing them that out of every people and even from among wild men – such as Negores, whom our civilized nations assign exclusively to the class of slave, there can be formed men who by dint of application can obtain knowledge and learning and thus become helpful to their monarch.’
To a divine rights monarch like Peter whose relationship to a nation of serfs was entirely paternalistic, a child as a personal gift or possession could only be regarded as one of his own kith and kin. Indeed, at the eight-year old Ibrahim’s baptism, the Emperor himself was his godfather, while his godmother was the Queen of Poland.”
And finally on the * point above, from research I did earlier this year and the astute and recorded research in the quote beneath, proof positive:
“Interestingly enough, the Gannibal was not the first black noble family of Russia. Because the name itself, “abach” means Abysissinian, the princely house of the Abachidze has long been known to be Ethiopian in origin. With the rise of Paata to political prominence in the early 17th century, they intermarried with and became lineal ancestors of the royal houses of Imerithia and Georgia of the Caucuses.” Georgia is the region in which the Caucasus are located in Russia.
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Hello Tim,
My name is Nicole. I did not sleep and my interview begins in 90 minutes.
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Made it through my interview and got the job!!! I’m still going strong with not one wink of sleep as this topic kept me up all night thinking and rethinking. I don’t run into the issues I hear a lot of Men and Women of Color speak of. Several of my sisters and I have dated other than African American men. Others met and married the results of the conviction of their hearts.
There have been two divorces and one remarriage out of 6 of 8 siblings. The only one giving a clue to anything like based on race is a sister who married an Afro-Canadian. This man’s siblings ALL married interracially with him as the only exception.
One of his motivations for marraige was her deep and abiding beauty as well as the fact she and he are of the same hue of deep mahogany. They even resemble one another facially. Don’t have details on why they split, but it was after the birth of their one and only child.
He specifically married my sister because he wanted a child that looked like him. Not physically, but in racial qualifiers. Dunno, but two years later the all abiding love was zilched and he tried very strategically to secure full custody.
This is just a hunch, but personally I think he will marry long term a Caucasian as this is what the rest of his siblings have done. I think he may be concerned later to have to fit his daughter into the overall family (His sisters married white men and his brothers married white women. All have children. As they are very dark people their children appear to be mixed. So does my niece – long story, tell you another day.) even though both of his parents are born and raised in England and are of African lineage.
Maybe it was just the American in her as to why my sister and her husban could not reconcile. But it goes without saying not all of us are arguing over race in the most negative sense. Personally, I would never marry someone for their race Black or White.
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I ,am a mixed raced man so define me as black if you wish , not and issue. What i see here on this interracial site amazes me for the black men putting the sisters down on here . Gentleman what is your purpose for being on this site, I would think that it was to hopefully find and date a woman of a different race! So you are not comfortable enough in your manhood when a sister wants to date a man of a different race , i would say what a prejudiced hypocrite but not strong enough , just plain ingornant little boys !!!! with double standards very un- fair . ladies date who you want and leave these small penis , immature little boys to their own hands. Maybe the other race females you guys seek will be more tolerant of your none masculine B.S.
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My above email is aimed directly at the brothers putting down blk women for being on this site and no one else , my above blogs still stand as my prospective.
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wow……looks like Mr. EZrhino’s comments might have shut this one down…..LMAO.
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Hold up half breed homey
I know that is not directed to me. If it wasn’t for the original black man “like me” you wouldn’t have been born.
Why don’t you direct your anger to the Judge in Louisiana that told an interracial couple he can’t marry them because he is “afraid of children like you”.
That is the real enemy.
I don’t bash black women. I wake up them up with tough love. To many of them are loose booties and you can “tattoo” that on your forehead!
Have a nice day
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LMAO…..I spoke to soon….
hiya, l. queens….your less than subtle reference to me was cute…..how have you been???? Still fantasizing about me and my “loose booty”, I see….LMAO.
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LOL
Working hard that’s all. I busted up my left knee playing basketball last week.
LOL Loose booty. Yea I keep an eye on you. It would even better if you could cook Caribbean food.
Be back going to eat “cream of wheat”. White boys don’t know anything about that.
What they know about “soul food”. Baked Macrooni and cheese, greens, cornbread and neckbones.
Oh yea, Jamaican food. Na, they don’t know anything about that.
I am out
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