Are you in the right relationship at the wrong time?

Posted by James, 21 Jan 09

Ever been in a situation where you felt the love was right but the timing quite off? I know most of us have felt that way. An example is when both of you are so in love, you want to wed, but your partner isn’t ready. What do you do when you are in such a perfect relationship with a compatible and wonderful person but the timing is just wrong? How long should you wait? Since the timing aint right, does this mean that your perfect partner isn’t the right person?

Feel free to share other instances when you have felt the same.

10 responses to "Are you in the right relationship at the wrong time?"

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  1.   dale223223 says:
    Posted: 02 Jun 09

    Perhaps some of you are just plain... impatient. Relationships have to evolve over a period of time. One of the best ways to scare away a man is to demand long term commitment after only a few months of dating. I heard a psychiatrist recommend 3 years before getting married (2 years to get engaged). I'm not one to stick to strict time limits like this but there is something to be said for "going with the flow" and not forcing it. Also some of you need to just take responsibility for your own lives and quit expecting a man to fix/do everything for you. Don't go blaming men in general because you might have poor boundaries and never are able to say "No" and aren't able to read the maturity of said men. That being said... try striking up a conversation with a man in public every once in awhile and you might actually find the love you're looking for. We sophisticated men often have other things on our minds besides flirting... so give us a lead every once in awhile. I'm a really great man who is "ready" for a relationship but how am I supposed to know if a woman is interesting if all she does is stand there a look cute... there are plenty of those... arose my intellect not just my dick

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  2.   Sage3 says:
    Posted: 03 Apr 09

    Please see the movie "He's just not that in to you. When a man wants something, he knows how to go for it! Any man who really loves you is going to move every mountain to make sure you are his for good. He would not risk having another man come in and take his place. Men are Hunters and they go after what they want. If he is not making a FULL commitment, regardless of the excuses he gives, the bottom line is he has not found the woman he truly wants to be with forever. (This is painful to accept, but true!). Please remember this my dear sisters... You can waste the best year of your life waiting on a man who does not love you to the level of a full commitment. Give yourself a deadline-(no more than 3-6 months. If your man is not ready to get down on bended knee for you, move onward and upward. Once you do this, trust me, there is a man out there who will love you and who IS ready for love, commitment, marriage. ~ All the best, Sage

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  3.   joshua804 says:
    Posted: 18 Feb 09

    Sometimes I think it happens. It usually happens when each person in the relationship is on different levels in their life and it can cause the relationship not to work. But if they were on the same level then more than likely they could make the relationship work

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  4.   BeYondSay says:
    Posted: 01 Feb 09

    It 's usually the man who is not "ready". Frankly, I'm sick of this kind of man. We all know him but we need to watch out for him because he's a danger to the love relationship in general. He's harmful to good women everywhere. In the beginning he's the smooth-talking, romantic, flower-sending, gift-giving, Mr. fix-your-world, put-you-on-a-pedestal, guy. Early on, you will notice a pricetag on those gifts in the form of monopolizing your time. I mean, all your time for the first couple of years. Then, when you start to get antsy about commitment, all hell might break loose. You will see a scary side of him and/or you will hear every whiny excuse he can muster. He might even give you an engagement ring (if he thinks he might lose you)but looking back, you see, in the years that followed, signs that you know you ignored. All the signs pointed to Non-commital Road. Did you really feel appreciated and loved? Truly? I would bet not. I would bet that this guy wrapped you around his finger and you, the beautiful, strong, self-reliant woman, became a stranger to herself. When women finally rebound from this kind of freak, we look back and wonder what the hell hit us? If you're like me, you question every thing and everyone and you feel like you can never trust anyone again. But do not feel this way. Forgive yourself for staying too long and get back in the game of life. Go to a movie, read a good book, have a glass of wine or beer in a nice restaurant, and be happy you got away from the stupid FREAK who ultimately lost a gem like you. Your love will sparkle for another at the right time and there will be no questions. You will know and you will get married. It's that simple.

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  5.   sexylatin says:
    Posted: 28 Jan 09

    I am in the same situation the guy is separated and getting divorce. I am separated too. We fell in love.But he works so much and he travel. I also discover that he has emotional problems.He disapear and after two months he asked forgiveness and I gave him a chance.After two weeks he disapear again.But this time will be diferent its over for good. I waisted a year in this relation. The guy its divorce twice with one child. Both women left him. Now I know why.Good bye Gerry Walker.

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  6.   Miss_Hanna says:
    Posted: 27 Jan 09

    I am in a situation like this right now. I love my man more than I can even tell. He is in the US Military and I'm a German civilian. I'm about to be successful in my job but he will have to go to Iraq in July. And after he comes back he has 3 months to move to his next duty station. We discussed marriage but I'm afraid it won't work anymore after he comes back. If we get married after he comes back it will mess up his next duty station and it might be one year until i see him again. I'm so confused and I don't really know what to do but I'm determined to make it work. I know I'm still young but I wanna be with this one man.

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  7. Posted: 26 Jan 09

    That's the situation I have just come out of. I was with this man and at first things were really great. There were a few things he had to work on and when one of those started to get him in trouble our relationship started to suffer too.So we ended it. Now he's started to work on things and he's changing back to the man I first fell in love with.Maybe there's a chance for us

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  8. Posted: 25 Jan 09

    Hello there. It's interesting (and also heart-breaking) to read the posts to this question. I wanted to share a similar story...I got engaged to the man several years ago (I was 27 at the time, he was 38). In this case I was the one who wasn't ready---I wanted to go back to school, travel, try different gigs, and just be free for awhile. Eventually we had to break it off because I felt I was holding him back from what he really wanted (being married and having five kids!) Now I'm involved with someone who's afraid of commitment. Funny how karma works, doesn't it? We have already broken up and made up twice, but the future is still uncertain. I still care about him very much, but I decided to keep a certain level of distance between us and keep my options open. And wouldn't you know it? I started "meeting" (actually "running into" is the more appropriate term, since I wasn't actively looking) some interesting new men with long-term possibilities. It was a good decision to not "put all my eggs in one basket." I think at some point, we all find ourselves in a situation where we feel we have found our one true love, our twin flame or soul mate. I'm convinced that my commitment-phobic man is my twin flame since we keep getting thrust into each other's lives, even though we might find the experience uncomfortable or emotionally draining at times. However, the universe also has a way of showing us that we always have options. We can exercise our free will and choose to love or not to love. Even though it is difficult to accept the possibility of not being with our "true love," it's still comforting to know that there are other people out there with whom we can share a loving, committed relationship with. At this point, I've decided to let go of the fear of what might happen and just cherish the time together with this man, even if he's only in my life for short amount of time. I wanted to share another story (a real one) of destiny at work. I have a coworker friend who had gotten married, had kids, and later divorced almost 15 years later. His high school sweetheart, interestingly enough, had gone through a similar experience in her life. They meet many years later, fall in love again, marry, and live in a blissful, retired life together. Stories like this one make me all the more optimistic about love that's destined to be. =) I wish everyone here good luck and best wishes in finding what they're heart truly desires.

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  9.   breenalee says:
    Posted: 23 Jan 09

    I wish someone could answer this for me!!! I was involved with a man, 35 yo, that was still trying to find his place in this world. In the meantime, I fell in love with him, but I was not a top priority in his life. I felt connected to him from the first meeting and learned that we were very compatible in all ways. I felt so alive when I was with him. I kept the hope alive that things would work out as soon as he got his shit together. Unfortunately his quest for self-discovery led him thousands of miles away from me! So will he come back eventually? Is it a case of bad timing? Was he just not the ONE for me? If not, how could I feel so strongly about him? I'm still confused about the whole situation. How does that old expression go? If you love something, set it free... What's the rest?

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  10.   indigo_eyes says:
    Posted: 22 Jan 09

    such is the story of my life... severely in love with this man as he was with me, for over 8 years... but, he wasn't ready and i felt it before he could admit it. i have never had such a bond or a truer chemistry in all aspects as i did with this man... for those of you who are into ole' skool slow jamz "tell me if you still care..." says it all... if ever a song said it, that one does... but we aren't meant to be so we have since drifted apart and i have taken extreme measures not to be "found" again. one heart ache like that is all i can handle in my lifetime and if he were to find me and say he was wanting to rekindle i would be in complete pain again but my answer would most defintely be no...

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