Are interracial loving folks disillusioned?

Posted by James, 19 Dec 07

"Most of what I read about IR relationships is this kind of phoney P.C. stuff … For once I'd love to hear these IR-loving folks admit … that race does matter."

The above is one black man’s opinion on interracial dating.

This got me thinking. Does race really matter? Do people tell the truth about their attitude towards interracial dating or is it all some hype?

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When asked about opinions on interracial dating, most people say that they are ok with it even when they have never been in interracial relationships. So if they are as ok with it as they want the world to believe, why is it that they have never been in interracial relationships then?

This dude stresses that race really does matter. And people are brought together by race. Even those that date exclusively outside their race do it because race really does matter. Makes no sense to say otherwise. If you think about it, exclusive interracial daters also carry stereotypes … against their OWN race and they use dating interracially as a way to justify their racial obsession.

According to this guy, children of interracial unions do struggle mightily with their identity in a world that demands you choose … a world where race actually does matter. “I don't care how many folks delude themselves into thinking they can walk the line, or be colorless. They can't. Either you are white or you are non-white, basically, in a racist society like America.

This guy is so irritated with all this interracial-is-beautiful “crap"?. He sites some article for those that doubt him:

"Jodene Morrell, a San Francisco teacher of German and Japanese heritage, stopped dating white men after a bad experience with her high school sweetheart."

“Now, think about it. Miss Jodene had a bad experience with a WM (high school sweetheart) and now she won't date any WM? So, she marries a BM? Why? Because he's not white? (since she doesn't like WM anymore) What happened to dating a Japanese man? Never heard her mention that. And yet, she believes she's not hung up on race? Please..."? he says.

To him Jodene’s story is typical of interracial daters. They live under the pretense that race doesn’t matter to masks their true race obsessions. I'd bet money Jodene didn't date Japanese men. Race doesn't "matter" -- not unless it's their own"?, he argues.

Are all interracial couples living in some phony world when they say it’s not all about race?

Tags: race doesn't matter, race does matter

23 responses to "Are interracial loving folks disillusioned?"

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  3. Posted: 13 Feb 10

    simply put......when people don't understand something they tend to label it (ususally not something positive....LOL) and file it in the corner somewhere under the heading "crazy". This is much easier than expanding one's own horizons.....especially if they are DEVOUT CYNICS.....and proud of that fact.

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  4.   Smile4242 says:
    Posted: 13 Jan 10

    I don't think that color matters much, but culture might matter more. Just because people are of the same race, color, religion, creed or community does not mean that they are compatible and have common values. And the same applies to people who are different races, colors, creeds, etc. I think that it is more about the individual's values, than the cultures, because not everyone within a culture is the stereotype of that culture. of course, people of the same race are more likely to have the same values, but that is no guarantee.

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  5.   renee24 says:
    Posted: 07 Aug 09

    Yes people are brought together by race but we can also be divided. What about similarities? Isn't it possible for a interracial couple to see how much they are alike.

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  21.   lulubell says:
    Posted: 01 Feb 08

    Hrm, It is a scientific fact that there is more physiolgical differences within the races than between them, Sylers right when she says that her preference are purely schemantics. The problems that have been associatiated with or attributed to inter-racial dating arnt really about race at all - theyre about culture. Even the best relationships dont aways stand up to the scrutiny of family & friends particully when merging groups from vastly different cultural backgrounds. Just adds presure is all, and usually not untill the later stages of the relationship when for example they discover that they've got incompatable views on child raising. Tricky. Isnt about 'P.C' at all, is about who makes you feel good and wether or not you can live with them.

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  22.   lulubell says:
    Posted: 01 Feb 08

    Hrm, It is a scientific fact that there is more physiolgical differences within the races than between them, Sylers right when she says that her preference are purely schemantics. The problems that have been associatiated with or attributed to inter-racial dating arnt really about race at all - theyre about culture. Even the best relationships dont aways stand up to the scrutiny of family & friends particully when merging groups from vastly different cultural backgrounds. Just adds presure is all, and usually not untill the later stages of the relationship when for example they discover that they've got incompatable views on child raising. Tricky. Isnt about 'P.C' at all, is about who makes you feel good and wether or not you can live with them.

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  23.   Sylar70 says:
    Posted: 30 Dec 07

    Race does matter - unfortunately, race matters for different reasons to different people. Not all people who date exclusively outside their race, do so because of a dissolutionment with thier own. In my case, for instance (and I can't be the only person on earth who dates exclusively outside my race that feels this way) but the level of physical attracted needed to "date" a black man has never been there for me and I am black. Some of my favorite men are black (Dad's an awesome guy), uncles, cousins. Love them all. Nevertheless, my first boyfriend was Chinese and since then my dates have been of middle eastern and/or european descent. A black man no matter how attractive, intelligent, etc he is might as well be a tree when it comes to me. I've thought about it for years, trust me, because my family and friends ask and the only thing I've been able to come up with is that my racial preference is akin to a general physical preference like guys who exclusively date blonds, or redheads, or BBWs or women who date shorter men, taller men or men with a certain physical edge. I think it's just how some of us are wired, there's a physical trait first for the attraction and then the personality/ compatibility builds or ends the relationship and we move on to another, but that physical trait is usually the first thing that directs our attraction.

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