Warning: This article may be offensive to some readers. This is not the objective. The article is in no way meant to defame or inflame any parties, groups or persons.
“Some black guys are going to date white girls. Attempting to beat up the white girls will not turn that tide. …You’d be better off learning to love yourself than becoming mired in bitterness and hate over that thing that’s not really about you.” From the post Sometimes the White Girl (Or Guy) Isn’t about You (Unconventional Wisdom) by The Black Snob
Just like the above excerpt suggests, there is this popular belief that black women see interracial relationships as a personal insult to them. This issue has been raised over and over again. And after reading many articles that support that belief, I can’t help but wonder why people portray black women to be the only ones who react disapprovingly to interracial relationships.
A former girlfriend of mine (black) once told me she felt that some of my white female friends and Asian women weren’t jazzed at all about our relationship. And when I asked her if they openly told her so, she told me they didn’t have to shout about their disapproval; their body language (yeah you know those stares accompanied by sneers, the sizing-up up and down look) said it all. Well, to tell you the truth, I later noticed that they were a hell lot nicer to her when she was just friend than when we started dating.
I believe she is not only black woman who gets this general bitchiness because of her involvement with a non-black man? Here is how one woman describes this whole resentment to black white relationships:
“…the reasons a black woman might object to an interracial relationship are wholly different from the reasons a white woman might. Black women worry how the black community will be affected overall if, say, the most successful black men find themselves with white women again and again. They worry about the effect interracial relationships have on low marriage rates in the black community. In contrast, when I encounter white women who cop an attitude upon discovering that my boyfriend and I are an item, their hostility comes from a very different place—a place of superiority.
It’s as if they are asking themselves, “Why on earth would he be with a black girl when I’m here?”"
Well, I have been asked a similar question by a white woman who wanted a relationship with me. I took it lightly coz I figured it was just the normal kind of jealousy anyone would feel if the object of their desire fell in love with another. So I gotta ask: Do white women feel this way when they see a non-white woman with an eligible white man?
If so, why then should black women continue to bear the responsibility for the hostility that black white couples face when we know very well that some black men, white women and Asian women (as I have heard) – are also opposed to such unions? Are black women the only foes of interracial relationships? Has anyone experienced this kind of ‘hostility’ from white men?
To Mr Laurelton Queens on 14 November
Hey dude where can I find this conversation that you said you had?
This steams the hell out of me. All the damn nerve.
Black women tend to be vocal about their dislike of interracial relationships. In particular, black men with white women. I personally think it cuts both ways. Even white men involved with black women, dislikes a black man with a white woman. I don’t care how much they deny it.
I asked this white guy on my blog would you let your biracial daughter date a “black man”. He said he would have to think about it. This white guy has a black woman but he needs to “think about it”.
I told him “you can think about it but we will take your daughter whether you
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It was Julia’s white husband on my blog that said that statement.
He said he had to think about letting his “biracial daughter date a black man”.
Even white men with black women do not want ANY black man near their daughter, sister or mother.
They need to admit it. That’s all.
Off the ‘MAN ON FIRE BLOG ALBUM” I go in depth on everything in my blog.
http://www.mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/
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Hey: Mr Laurelton Queens
I can’t find it and I looked on your blog. Be a little more specific.
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Mr Laurelton Queens
I couldn’t find this “I asked this white guy on my blog would you let your biracial daughter date a “black man”. He said he would have to think about it. This white guy has a black woman but he needs to “think about it”.
I told him “you can think about it but we will take your daughter whether you
You said it was on your blog but I looked under “MAN ON FIRE BLOG ALBUM” and I did not see it. A little help please?
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Dear B Man
That was posts months back. It wasn’t a really big deal at the time.
It was in general conversation my blog.
But it was an old post in the archives.
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I have never being with a black woman or even thought of dated any1 out of my race when i was young and in high school . Since i had join the military…i have been open minded and explores my option that there is plenty of good women out there for every 1 and not by the color of their skin .
My Ex. wife is black and we has a lovely daughter together . So now …i LOVE black women and i never would changed for any1 else. I have many black male friends and they prefer dating white or asian females only ……so i be telling them i volunteer to take all the Black women off their hands . = )
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first of all black women should not be offended as a relationship should be based on whats right for the two individuals involved. all it amounts to is collectivism. and honestly there are a lot of black men that they dont care for and would not want to date. if this brotha can find a white woman that careds for them why should they object??? really the fact of the matter is if you are happy dating a white woman and/or marrying one why should you give a damn what a black woman thinks.
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the fact of the matter is that no matter whatever racial classification a person is they have no right to question the preference of another person when it comes to dating. its time that this racial garbage ceases period. both black and white have the tendency to exhibit behavior based on race and its ludicrous because people are individuals not a collective. we are not black or white americans but americans. the race we belong to is the human race. and as individuals in this common humanity we have choices. that is what the american experience is about, being free to choose.
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This is a silly question; of course black women aren’t the only ones that may be opposed to interracial relationships.
Next question.
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I have read mostly all comments on interracial dating and the black women who date white men… Does it matter of the color of someone’s skin?
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In a perfect world race should never matter but this aint a perfect world
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Mika0227,
I like your answer, true and to the point. Your post is the only post that should have ever been posted on this topic. As soon as this topic showed up, so many women just got on the defensive rather than just answering the question as it was asked, like you did. Afterall, the topic article includes an excerpt from a black woman’s blog. All James does is question IT.
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Black women ARE the opponents because no one In their right mind would want to date a bunch of inbred child-molesting white trash.
Are you dating white men? DONT, chances are they have put their mouth on a dog or two, look here:
A whiteman molests a boy on live television and the audience just laughs and does nothing about it. The man kisses, fondles and dry humps the child while the audience claps:
Video:
http://whitewatch.wordpress.com/2009/06/07/dutch-pedophile-molests-child-live-and-audience-laughs/
(Brought to you by the same superior whites that legalized gay sex in public parks and started slavery against africans.)
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Of course race matters when you date!
Clearly, if race didn’t matter more black women would be married to white men (currently 4 percent of black women are married to white men). So you tell me what is going on? Black women are good enough to spank your penis off her ass but not good enough marriage.
It is really a damn shame white women beat black women in every phase of dating. Black women happen to be more attractive but they are getting overlapped by white women.
I hear these nappy headed black women say “well the whiteness brainwashed you concerning white women”.
Na, your stinky attitude caused this to happen. Got really nothing to do with her being white. Men flock to women that are easy to get along with but not “loose”. Black women go from one extreme to another when it comes to dating.
Either they are anal or whoring around with different men. Those black women in the middle, church going or whatever the case can’t seem to keep a man around because they are either boring or to busy.
Some will dispute what I say. Just look at the numbers concerning single black women and about 40 percent of them NEVER been married.
I addressed it on my new blog album ” Black Amadeus Mozart”.
Mr Potato head Steve Harvey who left his ex black wife on the side of the road got the nerve to speak for all black men concerning black women being single. Talking about “he didn’t teach us how to be men”. I wonder who taught him how to be a man considering he left his black ex wife with only 1,000 child support payment a month and he is rich!
The paperwork is on my new post. Oh yea Bill Cosby another ho ass black man making black men look bad too. After fucking his white maid and admitting it. He got the nerve to preach to us about pulling up our pants. Negro why you ain’t pull up your pants when you had your penis in that white maid. That goes for Morgan Freedman too. How you get in a car accident with your white mistress. It is not even because she white. Now your fucking your niece and she like 22 or something.
These are the clowns trying to lecture black men!
No wonder black women are lost and wayward. It’s time for new leadership. You got to tear it down and rebuild it.
Oh by the way ABC News always got professional black women looking desperate on television. Why they never have a segment of white men talking about black women? I will tell you why! White women won’t allow that. They will sympathize with black women but they are passive aggressive when it comes to men. How are they able to pull successful white men and sometimes successful black men.
What are black women left with? They may get white men but no Brad Pitt, some washed up white man that couldn’t get a decent woman. I will talk about this later. Black women have been hood winked.
(closing the door I am gone)
http://www.mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/
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I see “Daffy Duck” (and his “confuzzled” minions”…LMAO) and Yosemite Sam have been doing a tap-dance on everyone’s nerves in here….
This would have been amusing if it weren’t sooooo predictable.
Peace and Blessings to All (and to ALL Happy New Year)
tatted2death
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Hey I agree with James who post this 100%. I go through this crap all the time with my realation ship. At my job I am friends with everybody but there are some girls who are just co-workers, you know we not that close. They are white. So I’ve been dating a man for a while and I would talk about us sometimes to them, cause they- who I thought was my buddies and who would have gave me support about it. So I never said what he was, as in what is his, in his race, you see. One day, I brought in some pictures of him to show to eveverybody. OK.. so I am dating a Russian. Well I tell yah hell broke rang out! Did you know that some of those girls are pissed off of me dating him. They kept saying why? Why? are you dating him? And they are white. Can you believe this? They ask me this. And on top of that In the pictures that I showed them some of the girls have said that he dresses like he has status or like he is very wealthy or something….I didn’t know all that about how much money he makes because I thought it was not important. As long as he has a job and that he works, thats all I care about. You know what , thats funny I thought thats all what black men say about black women. That all black women are golddiggers!!! Hem ?? So I have told him what the girls said about him, at my job/ at work, to him about it. And he told me, that It was true. He was a Multi– Millionaire. HE owns a Aviation company and all that stuff–and so on. I was shocked! I gone back and talk to them because they were my friends so I thought? Hell Naw! These Tricks, sly, slue-foot, hoes! I have caught them talking about me in the back of how I was to big and that I was black for #1, and that I was to stupid to see that he had alot of money, !!!on top of that and they can’t understand why that man would want to date me anyway. Some girl have stop talking to me too because of him. Can you believe that OHH well who gives a sh_t!
So we kept on dating and he proposed later on. And we set a Date for later this year. He didn’t think I was stupid at all. In fact I was the only woman who saw the man for who he really was. In fact when we was together I never ask him for anything ever, before I found out about his Income. He was very impressed with that. And he could see that I was a strong hard working woman. BUT I WILL TELL YOU THIS, A SISTA WILL NOT QUIT HER JOB UNTILL HE PUT THAT RING ON IT! When you call me Mrs.______ then I quit my job. So Im a sport the New Benz he bought me and drive it to work damm-day. Who say its not fun being a bitch for once….. Why not, some people say black women have…Attitude anyway, is what I get a lot. And they say black women has attitudes? And they say that black women are goldgiggers too? Its called Being Blessed, you got that! Cause I pray for that good man everyday…… Plaaaaaoeeeeezzz Don’t give me that!! White women is the worst one to get them. ATTITUDES!! It takes a white woman to sniff money. And they know it. Any time a blackwomen is with a white man they have have a big problem with it. It’s funny how red they turn in the face. Even the ones who are with black men!!! Oh blackmen? Please don’t get me on that issue. Theres not a blackman that can say anythang, because they know that when they see me Im taken cared of. People look at us yalp I know. They got to look at me twice and a third, going on the fourth, working its way to the fifth, talking abouth the sixth times they staring and rolling they’re eyes at me, just me not him. Im sick and tired of the this treatment that I am getting because a handsome man is wanting to get to know me……They can suck on my azz…..so stare at that!!
I think non black women are in fact afraid of seeing a beautiful black woman happy and wanted by other men from all races. And they are jealous too.
So anyway some of them will ask me about us and be friendly at first but after I tell them about whats going on and how happy I am, they just look at you and and say, nothing? Well why the hell you ask me for? And a lot of non-black women are jealous of my realtionship and I love it, thats right I said it!! and I don’t worry about what people gonna dam say about my man and my love.
I as a black woman I know what I want, and I want a good man, Hell every black woman does. I just don’t care what he is or look like. I just don’t care. A man is a man. We don’t have to be scared of It! Go and get Him….get that man…
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Who eva going to say something smart-azz about my post or racist about it just remeber this, Im a happy azz Black woman and yaw need to recognize that.. ….
I don’t give a shit what a spit tooth racist have to say or shit-on about it,
Im blessed, just rememer dat and if a non black man wants me, Just remember The Lord Sent Him My Way…….Peace
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I am a black male who will not date white women. I feel that black people should realize that all this interracialism, is just another method for the destruction of the black race.
We need to realize that the slave master mentality still exist in America today.
Black men need to love and respect black women, And black women need to love and respect black men.
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Interesting personal comments from others!:>)
Please allow me just to say in my opinion. I haven’t had nasty looks or comments from the white race. They both male and female have been more accepting. And i live in the South! lol! Every one is going to look at mixed couples. And every one looks at non-mixed couples too! Don’t YOU! I do. If we see someone in our opinion, that’s too short, fat, skinny, pretty, not pretty, matched for each other together. We are having a thought or two. If not even for a quick brief second! We look/stare at them!
I find myself thinking mostly when looking at other couples while out in public. “How long have they been together?”, They look alike” I wish I had someone to be with like them, and hold my hand, and go even to the store with”. Or the biggest thought of see couples together rather white or black, Asian etc… IS They look proud to be with each other not for the LOOKS! THEY JUST ARE TOGETHER!:>)!! That’s whats really matters! That’s really LOVE and a successful Beautiful relationship!
I Feel more pro-interracial relationship for me, because I have been exposed since a little kid. My first best friend was half white & Asian( Letta was her name). Two best of best friends for 10 years were White. We went though bonding our lives and families together. The work place was more pro-white due to my career trade, and the companies I worked for(which I personal know they had a race hiring quota. but they treated me with respect) Even the Sports I played such as Cross-Country Running,. So That helped form a union of comfort and respect for other races other than mine. I could go into a room filed with people of all races, and every time a person from a different race than I (black) will come over and bond with me. This happens to this day. So It’s really something about me that generates that respect. People can since you out, just like you can since them out(talking people good nature here). Now My best of the best person to know is, who I refer to as a big sister/mommy role model/best of all is Black/Indian descent, and at least in her 70′s.
So Age, Race, Looks, etc…Stop trying to find an excuse! You better find Some Body to Love!! “IT’S THE GREATEST GIFT FROM GOD, IS LOVE”!!! AND LOVE REALLY KNOWS NO COLOR, ONLY LOVE WILL LAST!!! WE EVEN ARE COMMANDED TO LOVE OUR ENEMIES! rather we want to or not! lol! LOVE, LOve love, PLEASE!!!
rtrue! :>) Happy Valentine’s Day Everyone!!
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A Man is a man to me.I don’t care what his is. I love God and the men he creates. I don’t judge a man of what he is. I have so called loved black men too, but you know how that goes………not so good. Im not going to say I will never date a white or asian man or whatever just because Im a stay good to my shade of skin hell gnaw, or just to say, ” I think I’m a piss somebody off is I like them .” Thats bullshit. I as a black woman, I want love and I crave it and I don’t care who it comes from.
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I believe everyone is human, I feel NOBODY should be judged! It really gets old that people stick thier nose in peoples lives by making negative comments! I know history and what has happend, but times have changed, all the people with predjudice/racist thoughts or opinions….here is an opinion for you…get over it and roll with the punches! Its time to get over that ALL! I am a white women dating a black man! I am completely in love and we are extremely happy! I get sick of all races staring at us for whatever the reason! Nothing is going to change who I fell in love with, one day when I have children…I want them to be excepted, but that is the ways of the world! I will have to build my children strong and ready to deal with society’s opinions! Its crap! Why can’t everyone stop worrying….and get over it!
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You know what, After reading all of the comments that have been posted here on this site. I see more hatred for black women from the white men as well as the black men. The may as well not even be an interracial dating site, because an interracial site should be about bringing unity amongst all people. However, what I’ve seen was a bunch of anger, hatred and racism and this is my first time on this site. I don’t even think that I would consider joining this site because of all of the bashing. Second, if you are racist, maybe you should not be looking to “date” or “look” interracially, period, point blank. Third, for the couple who are going back and forth arguing, it creates a very hostile environment for people to be able to interract with each other and would probably frighten the hell out of first timers. How can you judge when you two probably haven’t even met nor spent any face-to-face time together? Shit there’s not even any pictures posted between the two of you. As far as I am concerned AZ, ER could just as well be a man who’s sole purpose is to stir up some shit in order to keep confusion going and to deter others from approaching black women because of this stereotype, have you thought about that shit? I’ve seen it all the time on Youtube and other sites, how men would pose as women to set this scenario up and people would feed into it all the time. Just give some thought about that will you? I personally believe that love should have no bounds. With that being said, people should have the right to freely choose who it is that they are or would like to be with. People can hate all day everyday for as long as they want. However, at the end of the day, “Outsiders” don’t count and those same haters are not paying your bills, nor making you happy- so for the one’s out there truly seeking love abroad, much love and keep your head up, stay strong. This is all that I have to say.
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Mr. Queens you are the reason why black women don’t really give a shit about black men opionions. I have my reason for the way I feel and you are one of them.
If black women are sell outs what are black men who date interracialy?
Respect is something that’s earned. Just because you have a penis dangling between your legs, doesn’t mena you own me, or rule me. I want a man that I can love and be there for but he has to earn that. Black men act like everybody owes them something.”
Instead of banding together and trying to improve, BW and Bm prefer it would seem to play the blame game and not take responsibility for how fucked up shit is.
“I dont even have words. I think primarily it is a feeling of mutual mistrust and feeling unappreciated and devalued.”
“Why we can’t get along? Basically I think it’s about the relationship. None of us wants to compromise.”
“Black men perpetuating negative stereotypes of black women. Especially the stereotypes from which they had one negative experience with a black woman such as black women are too independent, aren’t open in bed, will fight you if you cheat,gold-diggers, or something like that.
Yea I have a attiude and dam good reason for it and I am angry too. Angry about how black women are treated and disrespected and talked about, from these black men that hate us for not being man enough for not understanding his sistas pain. And a white man has nothing to do with this so stop blaming it on the white man? “Respect. Overall, black men lack respect for themselves and for us. If black men had more respect, they would have more pride in their education and more pride in the women in their race. They wouldn’t casually have sex with women, and they wouldn’t leave them with dozens of babies.”
“Black men don’t take care of their children (most black children are raised in single parent households” and all of this is the black womans fault?
I don’t feel obligated to black men. I refuse to ignore the truth and pretend that someone’s out for my benefit. If things were different, and black men protected, supported, or actually cared for black women, I would be loyal to them. But since so many either are oblivious to or are bent on our destruction, I do not see the point of staying on a proverbial sinking ship.”
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I have a lot of love for African American men. Only if they are decent men to me. However, I am extremely disappointed with this group of individuals. As a African American woman I can honestly say I’m physically attracted to African American men, but mentally most of them do nothing for me. They don’t respect women. Instead of being good role models for younger African American men they would rather be their best friends and encourage them to continue the bullshit mentality. They have kids. Some are fathers to their children, but they see nothing wrong with their guidance of their children…. especially their sons. They see nothing wrong with the example they are setting for their children…especially their sons. Then there are those who refuse to take any type of responsibility whatsoever. They don’t accept responsibility for their plight. They don’t accept responsibility for their children. They don’t accept responsibility for their education. They don’t take responsibility for their actions. They don’t take responsibility for shit. It is always someone else’s fault. The one thing in this world women seek is SECURITY. I don’t honestly believe most (not all) African American men can offer this NEED. It’s not entirely their fault. Racism does play a role in their plight but ONLY to an extent. Historically black men have never been able to protect black women and children but WHAT THE hell! IS THEIR EXCUSE TODAY??? Some African American men will watch black women (the mother(s) of their children) struggling to make ends meet and won’t do shit! about it. African American men haven’t figured out why black women refuse to let go of the “strong independent woman” attitude/mentality. It is because African American men have NEVER made them feel secure. When every black man starting with an African American woman’s father has done nothing but bring disappointment to her life naturally she would adopt an “I don’t need you” attitude. It is a defense mechanism caused by PAIN and ANGER.It’s rare that I run across an African American man who believes in marriage. It’s rare that I run across an African American man who believes in having all his kids by one woman. It’s rare that I run across an African American man who is pro-black. It’s rare that I run across an African American man who is socially aware. It’s rare that run across an African American man who can adequately stand on his own two feet. The African American Alpha men are few and far.I’m not supposed to look at full-grown men and see them as children. I’m not supposed to feel a greater kinship to my African man than I do African American men. I’m not supposed to view African American men with a mixture of contempt, love and anger. I know I’m not alone.
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It is irrelevant if black woman are angry over interracial affairs. Its none of their business if a so called african american male wants to date a white woman, just as its not an african american males business if the woman dates a white male. Being in a relationship is about the two individuals involved. It as simple as that.
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To answer the question of the topic:
Are Black Women The Only Opponents of Interracial Relationships?
No.
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Thank you for taking that man off of here!!!!
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Did they REALLY AND TRULY FINALLY do what I think they did?????
Man, Daffy was a pain in the azz but I didn’t think it called for all that…..
WOW
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kitty,
russian people dress well in fashion and such because it is part of their culture so to speak. i lived there 1.5years. they dress up go to work, change clothes before starting work, shower at work before dressing up th bus home. and they dress like they are going to church or a wedding or such everyday. that is their status so to speak as most have very little else. they look their best all the time. a freind of mine when i was visiting would take 45 minutes getting ready to go down the road to the corner store for a bottle of pop. and that was a straight dude.lol
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here’s the deal: if you’re gonna date someone of another race,don’t pick somebody raggedy!
admittdly,becouse we live in a society wher eblack women are not valued,i feel offended that a black man would date a tacky white(or recently,the new trend a latina woman who looks damn near white) woman (i don’t care if she’s a good woman.if she is a good woman,then so be it ,i wish you well)over a decent black woman ,becouse this black woman is too black.be all means,explore all options of all races,but don’t offend me by going for something worth nothing becous it looks like what the euro-centric world we live in that controls your mind wants .get a decent white woman.please.nice pretty,responsible woman,who’d make a good mother if you intend to stay with her,and i hope she takes care of you.
now,i do not stress these things if i see it in the street ,becouse i don’t give a damn who you sleep with it has no affect on me.of course,when all my black brothers talk about their amazing lighter,brighter ,whiter woman to me and i meet her and she’s trash,it annoys me,and makes me feel hurt.why?becouse the woman is taking advantage of him.then i get over the hurt becous i realize this man is a fool.
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@ Afrodite, i understand what you are saying but lets move past that, black men can date anyone they want they have never been loyal to us so we are not missing nothing. Girl its 2010 and black women are definitly dating outside their race. I know we still have black women that are loyal to black men but thats ok as long he is not no user. My sister let me tell you we are strong, beautiful and loyal even when people tries to curse us. We have a very unique history and i have always loved my beautiful skin, thick kinky hair,curves and full lips . In america lightskin or white is consider to be the best( this where history comes in).I know my history and i am proud from where i came from thats why it does not bother me.The world is to big , there are so many places where black women are cherished for their features.
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For example look what this idiot said above nappy headed, he just disrespected his entire family. Stay far away from black men like that. They think talking about our hair makes us weak , no he is weak for even trying that.
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@Kittytap excellent post!
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Thank you Mia, thank you very much
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Thank you Mia,
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Black women wake up, The doors are definitly open. All i hear is black women this black women that are we beautiful are that. Let me tell you something open your god damn eyes and see that you are special because if you was nothing and not a threat no one will even notice you.Look my sistahs pick up a book and read about our blood line we was strong and we were rulers , we overcame many challenges in life. This is for little people with little minds that get off on tearing black women names down . We dont have a Kimg his throne was snatch away along time ago. Black men dont belong to us and we dont belong to them. Shit is shifting my ladies right up under you. I hear white women trying to put us down to black men to caress their ego , but let me tell you something i observe my surroundings and i know we are a treat.Who gives a fu$k.The world is to big!
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sorry meant to say King. Good night blog
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