Swirling by Christelyn Karazin

The art of attraction isn't just about colour or creed, it's about chemistry and a whole bunch of other things. Swirling author Christelyn Karazon discusses.

And the Biggest Open Opponents to Black Women Finding Love with Other Races Are...

Posted by Christelyn, 20 Sep 16

...Other black women

When I heard about the photo (picture above) that launched a thousand comments on the Carol’s Daughter Facebook fan page and heard about all the excessive trolling it got from black people downright outraged to see a black woman being loved by a non-black man, I wasn’t surprised when I saw comments like this...

black women hating

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What’s really “sickening” is her comments about “losing our black men” and putting the responsibility on black women to “save” them by…what exactly? Having sex and bearing their illegitimate children? Because we have a 72% out of wedlock rate so let’s not pretend these men presenting engagement rings in droves to black women.

What’s wrong with choosing a white man, if he is of good character, and displays the ability to protect, provide and produce? A woman like the commenter would rather be with Ashy Larry than a white man…so I say let her have him.

That too many black people say black women should stay within the race to “strengthen the people” is so 1962. I’ve been hearing that same mantra for decades: Black folks need to work on themselves before they start mixing races. The problem with that is there is no collective fix in sight. So what is a black woman are you supposed to do? Wait until everybody’s got their shit together before you entertain the overtures of men of other races? That’s utterly ridiculous.

While Beyond Black & White has its shares of black male haters, we simply can’t ignore the hoards of black women who oppose other black women dating interracially, and that makes absolutely no sense. You’d think these women would be encouraging other black women to date and marry into racially, because it means more black men for them, right? But we all know that that’s not the case. Deep in their hearts they know that much of what is celebrated in the black community is this idea of “struggle love”–that somehow love is less real if you’re not going through tons of drama, heartache and tears or fighting other women for your man. Women like this have you been conditioned to see high levels of stimulation associated with relationships and seem to almost welcome all of the drama and outrage they often get. They might even feel like a normal relationship is too boring for them.

Now that’s not to say that every black woman who was paired with a black man is experiencing some sort of struggle. While I was on vacation in Mexico this past weekend, I saw quite a few black men what’s wedding rings on with their wives in tow. But I saw more black women single and alone keeping to themselves and the resort sports bar and not speaking or interacting with anyone. Now if they want to keep it black that’s their choice, but don’t you dare impose your arbitrary rules of who black women should date just because you imposed those rules on yourself.

Christelyn Karazin is the co-author of Swirling: How to Date, Mate and Relate, Mixing Race, Culture and Creed. She also operates the popular blog, Beyond Black & White, and operate the first forum dedicated to black women interested and/or involved in interracial relationships.

1 responses to "And the Biggest Open Opponents to Black Women Finding Love with Other Races Are..."

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  1.   pulentine says:
    Posted: 22 Jan

    Well i dont see a problem infact the colour of the skin does'nt mean anything what matters is LOVE

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