…gender is one of the determining factors of interracial dating trends. Caucasian females are least likely to date Asian men, whilst white males in the U.S tend to be least attracted to female African American’s. - ‘Interracial Dating Trends’ by Matt Dating
Much as it is just a generalization, most of us do agree that there are very few White women who date Asian men. And when we try finding the reason for this, stereotypes and more stereotypes is all we dig up. But let’s look into the Black women White men interracial relationships: is attraction the reason why there are relatively fewer White men dating Black women? Really?
Tags: dating websites, multicultural dating, cross-cultural dating
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Comment by 85kguy on 5 October 2009:
I am sure that marriage statistics have and will improve with each 4-year census tally from here on out for black women and white men.
Dating is a different cart. However, I am sure that if a census tally was done on IR dating it will show the same upward trend between white men and black women.
Matt Dating is saying that currently white men are least attracted to black women because white men married less black women in 2008.
The empirical data uses white, black, and asian categories and is static as opposed to dynamic (one census stat for 2008 as opposed to using 1992, 1996, 2000, 2004, and 2008 to demonstrate an upward trend).
Comment by Azrazyel on 5 October 2009:
Serious question regarding this website?
Any of you guys in here actually realize how many scammers are on here?
Sometimes I will receive a flirt only to find out later their profile was closed by an administrator.
I emailed them asking why that happens, they said because of scammers.
Just wondering if anyone else here has had that as well.
Comment by Ichibod on 5 October 2009:
It is getting worse, but the site is acting faster than ever to stop them. If you ever see a flirt or an interest but no new views, it’s just one of those web cam girls. Also, they never have their profiles filled out.
Comment by Azrazyel on 5 October 2009:
I don’t know about you Ich, but I’m on a drought lately. Ha!
Three denials in a row. Damn. That’s a first.
I’m a pretty flirtatious guy and send quite a few flirts along, but 3 in a row I believe is a first.
Please don’t tell me I’m the only guy this happens to?
I mean I know I’m no Brad Pitt or anything, but jeesh! LOL
Comment by 85kguy on 5 October 2009:
Hey Az,
When I asked I was told that:
**Sometimes women/men from overseas post and are not from the U.S. city listed.
**Sometimes women/men are reported for using a photograph that is confirmed some way as not theirs.
**Sometimes women/men are reported as currently listed on backpage and other sites as escorts.
**Sometimes the ads asked for money in the ad and were closed when reported. The scammers just got a broadcast out prior to the administrator closing the account.
Comment by Azrazyel on 5 October 2009:
Thanks 85Kguy!
When they emailed me back, they didn’t go into details.
I guess that’s what happens when your a basic member.
Peace.
Comment by triccinicci on 5 October 2009:
85kguy,
I think the stats will improve when they can be accurate to begin with, lol! Still on the impliciteness of it, I do agree more Women of Color and men with little color or who have a hard time tanning (just playing with words here, so no offense) will puff up those faked out digits in the study paradigms in the future.
Until then (of them getting it right), I’m gonna take it to the streets for my non-imperical reality. If I want to know what’s really going on I’ll ask someone the way one white man did myself and a gentleman I was dating at the time. While vacationing in San Francisco’s Nob Hill district several years back, my bf and I were eating dinner in an upscale restaurant when a gentleman seated nearby approached us.
First complimenting us as a couple, he then turned to my bf and in a manner that only men understand is a sincere thumb’s up, he asked where he had found me and underscored the comment with how remarkably beautiful I was. Under any other circumstance such a comment would seem circumspect. Yet he had such a look of awe and joy on his face, not just for what he deemed was my beauty alone, but our’s as a couple.
He ended his conversation with just that compliment of us appearing to be exceptionally happy. He wished us all the best. We thanked him and continued with our evening. It’s nice when people come along and share in your joy and happiness.
Maybe better stats will show up when folks can rationalize what attraction means as you are correct, 85kguy, in clarifying that the stats pulled where solely based on the conclusion of marraige. Which, I might add, is not the definition of ATTRACTION. As in all marraiges are not based on attraction, nor does one have to ‘feel’ attraction to get married.
I think most issues you heard the women on the blog responding to had to do with the quintessential meaning of “attraction”. The author of this blog, James, could have helped the responding audience out by giving a more well defined observation of what “attraction” meant in presentation here; versus just us using contextual clues (he was vague to say the least. So I’m not surprised the majority responded according to what each perceived the definition of “attraction” was, not “marraige”).
If we are simply talking marital numbers, I’d have to say correctomundo on b/w and w/m being in the low grades for marraiges. I can’t talk about that right now, but I think that’d be an interesting thread to ask about and encourage discussion on. That being the desparity of marraige scenarios. Are they real and why do they exist? Simply because we can all probably conclude and rationalize b/m and w/w, as well as b/m and o/r (other races), are marrying at a more rapid ratio. I’ve got my thoughts on that too…
Comment by Ichibod on 5 October 2009:
O-kay?!? Whatever.
Anyway, Azrazyel.
Yea, it’s been a drought for me, too. Nothing like when I first join up. I’m a paying member. I talk to quite a few ladies, but I actually met someone in the second day. I was pretty high school. I’m 31 and she is 33. We talked on the phone everyday from 8 at night to 7 in the morning. Sick! I flew to NC to meet her after a two weeks of constant communication. She was visiting her sister so I got to meet them both. We kicked it for about 2 months before she said it wouldn’t work. We’re still cool and I.. actually I won’t say anymore. She got pissed at something I put on Facebook after she cut me loose. Even though the flirts have died down, I kinda dig this blogging thing and it’s what, evidently, I do mostly on this site. I even talked with one of those scammer chicks and she was the one who gave me the scoop on it.
Comment by Azrazyel on 5 October 2009:
That’s what I said about her too Ich. (**Cough…I wish there was someway we could block out her posts…**cough..)
Sorry about your luck Bro. All that work and talking on the phone only for her to say “it won’t work”. WTF?
I would have been pissed.
I mean it’s one thing if she lived nearby, but having to fly and meet someone….damn. I don’t even know.
This website was great for me as well when I first joined about 4 months ago. Within the last month, it’s been pretty boring. So MANY scammers and people I am not interested in. What happened to all the quality ladies? My luck has run dry recently as well. Thank God this isn’t the only site I joined. The women at the other one are much better than here. At least they have stayed consistent there.
I was thinking about paying for a month or 3 months (or whatever it is) so I can dust off some old flirts and get a hold of some of these ladies.
What sucks is NONE from my own state. WTF again? Seems the women in Ohio have not a clue what they are looking for. I mean a FEW, but most don’t. Maybe it has something to do with people being ‘afraid’ to show their preferences. I will admit, where I live and Ohio throughout (in some areas) could be mistaken for a true southern hick town. I also read that Cincinnati is the 8th worst place for IR dating in the U.S.of A. Cleveland being the 10th worst and I believe Columbus was in the top 20.
Maybe it’s the environment (state) I live in that causes such conditions?
Sorry for the long post man. I just had a few thoughts to get off my mind.
Peace
Comment by Fire321 on 5 October 2009:
Az, I lived in Cincinnati for 10 years and there is quite a bit of interracial dating going on there. I don’t know what you’ve been told but it’s a lie. I can’t speak on Cleveland or any other places in Ohio.
Comment by Azrazyel on 5 October 2009:
85Kguy:
You have a link for that website?
Also, what are the figures for Latino men?
Thanks!
Comment by Azrazyel on 5 October 2009:
Fire321:
It’s all black men/white women. Same as here in Akron. It’s interracial dating yes, but one-sided.
Comment by Azrazyel on 5 October 2009:
Forgot to say:
I wasn’t told anything, I see it with my own eyes.
Comment by Fire321 on 5 October 2009:
I agree that you may see more bm/wf but there is also a fair share of bf/wm, as well.
Comment by can you help me on 5 October 2009:
Men and women are attracted to each other because of their differences.
While women tend to be over-accommodating, men don´t like being told what to do.
tell me what about you pleas?????
Comment by Azrazyel on 5 October 2009:
I believe you, I have yet to see it.
Comment by Azrazyel on 5 October 2009:
There isn’t a whole shitload of black men/white women around here.
It’s just much more noticeable when you have never seen a white man (holding hands, kissing, hugging) a black woman in public.
I am not kidding!
Comment by Fire321 on 5 October 2009:
I understand. I’m surprised how things are changing here in the south.
Comment by Azrazyel on 5 October 2009:
Whowuddathunkit!
The south changing before the north?
That’s impossible! ha
Comment by Fire321 on 5 October 2009:
I know. One thing that I can say is that I’ve run into a lot of white men that have never dated IR before but are interested in doing so. Personally, I don’t give the newbies the time of day.
Comment by Romanticlyme on 6 October 2009:
Sarena! do you have your mail going to a “search engine” first? like for instance….google, or yahoo or maybe even bing? If you do when a notification comes in that you have mail on this site pertaining to this discussion just spam that email and all the rest of the post will go into your spam box.
I hope all is well with everyone,
Tanya
Comment by triccinicci on 6 October 2009:
Sarena81,
To stop unwanted email from making it to your inbox, BLOCK messages by accessing your MAIL OPTIONS controls and selecting singular blocking of unwanted email addresses.
If you don’t know how to do this or where your Mail Options are located on your email’s toolbar, consult a search engine for your specific Mail Carrier (Rather Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo, etc. Yahoo recently reorganized theirs in case you’ve used it before and forgot about it).
Step-by-step instructions will show up from various sites or user info left online.
Also, you can UNblock the specific mail address at a later time once you see threads that are not contraindicators to your particular beliefs.
Everyone needs a break every now and then.
Good Luck and Enjoy!
Comment by looking4life on 6 October 2009:
ms.san antonio you are a lady and i agree with what you have had to say. there is one woman on here that has a point of view a few of you dont appreciate but dou you find it necessary to be rude and disrespectful?it is those kind of narrow minded ideas that make it difficult for people to seek happiness on their own terms. i thought anyone seriously persuing an interracial relationship could not only grasp that concept but would support it. she has the same right as all of us to be heard. i do feel a number of people are trying to hide their insecurities and inadequacies with the words they choose trying to show the superiorityof their education. this topic bites and has no relevance to the laws of attraction in my day to day life with the ladies i meet.
Comment by looking4life on 6 October 2009:
oh and az the scammers dont bother me its the people claiming to be looking long term and leave a skeleton as a profile… i am honest,sincere,loving…etc know what i mean you can tell those people are not serious and that comment is not pointed in any particular direction ladies
Comment by 85kguy on 6 October 2009:
Hello Az,
These are the Matt Darling’s 2008 Census stats. James has broadcast Matt Darling as a reference.
The link is a redirect to Matt Darling’s report named “Interracial Dating Trends.” It shows inside the James Blog article which starts the conversations and comments (for White Men are Least Attracted to Black Women).
http://www.blackstate.com/interracialdating909.html
I did not see anything on Hispanics in the article.
I had a feeling that maybe some bloggers had not followed or could not follow the link. Maybe for them they just see a series of blog comments and join in on the subject that way.
Comment by Ichibod on 6 October 2009:
AZ,
We can always call one of those numbers. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, that’s cute. Anyway…
The girl I met on here lived in Florida about 200mi away from me. Since I was laid off for a minute, I decided to take a flight up north. A lot of crazy risk involve, but I took it. Glad I did. Nice little vacation and I got my job back when I returned. I am a basic member on some other sites, but you don’t get to do much on them without paying. They’re more expensive, too.
Serena,
I found out how to unsubcribe. Since subscriptions go to your email, the full address link to the subscriptions manager prints at the bottoms of the comments. Just click and it shows you all of the threads that you are currently subscribed to. Check the boxes of the ones you want removed from your list.
Comment by JohnnyBadBoy on 6 October 2009:
When I was about 13, I read a poem by Ferlinghetti about the Cold War. It was called “To Fuck is to Love Again”(???) I hope I didn’t just break a rule by naming the poem) Anyway it was about making love with people who are supposed to be in conflict with us rather than killing them. It impressed that 13 year old boy, and even I could see what he was really saying. I don’t do one night stands…I like love affairs,or long term friendships. I have been enamored with, or in love with, women from all over the globe.That doesn’t mean sex occurred in all these cases, but, relationships and lasting friendships are nice,whether it’s a Princess from Dubai, an African ballerina, a poet from Columbia, or an artist from Japan. What I just want to say is inter-racial relationships are the only chance humanity has. We have to get things into perspective. Most ethnic groups have hurt another. We need to put all our cards face up on the table…make apologies when they are needed or called for, form relationships and get about saving the rest of the planet from our transgressions. The insults don’t bother me at all, as long as the attacks are only on me and not on my family members. When I was eighteen, I used to having this reoccurring dream, in which children of every shade of brown hugged me and called me grandfather…It was a beautiful dream. It would be nice if it came true. Peace to all of you. Johnny
Comment by 85kguy on 6 October 2009:
I praise the black women and white men who have hung in there for this type of topic.
What you have done by sticking around with this topic is shown others that you follow your preferences with conviction.
Hats off to you!!
Comment by triccinicci on 6 October 2009:
Well as you know, or may have guessed Johnny, there are no rules on this blog concerning postings. At least presented where each poster can be reminded. I hope rules are listed in their use agreements form and who reads those things?
Oh, tried to check out Ferlinghetti’s poem on the web and couldn’t find it. I love poetry as you do. Maybe that could be a common thread, family and personal attacks aside. You say we should make apologies when called for. Why did you not apologize to me since I was, like you, very insulted (not my usual reaction, by the way as my mother always says, “They cruxified Jesus Christ what more will they do to you?)
Just a question for reflection as I am past all that now. Maybe one day we can share our individual mediums. I tend to write in meter. Am not Avante Garde at all and prefer love to war. My favorite poets are (in order of influence) Emily Dickinson, Edgar Allan Poe and Rumi.
Poe is my favorite and I did a show in tribute to him called “Jazz in Poe”. It was a hit (we were favorites at a now defunct coffee shop years ago called Gold Bar Espresso in the college town of Tempe, Az), with original compositios by John Summers.
I’ve always wanted to do a tribute to the 60’s counterculture. You know the whole black on black with the shades and all. I will do that one not to far from now as I’ve done all else except that one.
Listen, I don’t think we should be angry or let our words and worlds become a part of the diabolical in this conversation. My mother always taught me to be the better person and not to take the short road. Not everyone will do the good their mother taught or even they alone have experienced.
I hope some of the ugliness in these threads are just the shape of the sculpture’s clay before hand is put to it, refining the beauty and shapeing the mass. I still say material has a lot to do with quality but a highly skilled artist can make the most beautiful work and no oe has to know the origin of the materials (long as they are not radioactive, lol).
Peace.
Comment by Azrazyel on 6 October 2009:
Thanks much for your help 85Kguy! (:
Comment by beenwitbof on 7 October 2009:
Iam reminded of an old joke about the redneck boy who brought home his wife to be to meet his famaly & promtly announced that she was a virgin. at this his father pulled him outside by his neck & said boy what did I always tell you boys? if a girl aint good enoughf for her brothers & cousins she aint good enoughf for you.sadly with that said: why dont yall ask the ? why dont black guys whant to date black chicks
Comment by faerydust on 8 October 2009:
That was very interesting reading. I wish there had been more responses from white men, on what they find attractive or unattractive about black women. We got much feed back from black women and black men, but very little from white men. And, no matter how hard I try, there is no way that I, as a black woman, could ever get into the psyche of a white man. I’ve dated all ethnicities, but most men I’ve dated have been white. Our relationships typically developed over time - a mutual friendship blossoming into a deeper, more intimate relationship. Occasionally I briefly dated white men that I met out of sheer physical attraction and those incidences rather transitioned into anything more than a few fun dates. The interesting thing is that I have rarely dated a black man, when meeting him in the same fashion, physical attraction. This type of situation typically occurs at a party or a bar. You see someone that looks hot, they think you’re hot and then you go out. Well, I can’t recall any of my long term relationships starting in the latter. I guess what I feel is that I’m attracted to anyone that captures my attention and white men are probably the same way towards black women. I can’t say that all the white men I’ve dated had the same cultural background just because they were white. With that comes the realization black people do not share a single culture. Culture is multi-layered. Being an American is a culture in itself and at that level, blacks, whites and American born asians and hispanics have something in common. To say that we are culturally different and therefore have nothing in common is juvenile and ignorant. I think that this issue has some historical problematic events that have skewed the way some white men feel about a long term (marriage) relationship with a BW, but that this should really be investigated on a case by case manner, with the majority of the responses, again, coming from white men. Besides, in this era I’m hard pressed to find any man, be him white, black, hispanic or asain,that is looking to get married. So why not start with that. Why are men, in general fearful and avoidant when it comes to monogomous relationships and marriage. How about getting a committment from anyone? I just have to like you at this point. Oh, I have another question. Do white women get more marriage proposals than black women? If so, then why? Anyway, I can only speak for my self and I am predominantly attracted to white men, but I can fall in love with any racial ethnicity as long as we’re on the same level and they can makes me feel like a beautiful and sexy woman.
Comment by Ichibod on 8 October 2009:
Just an excerpt from my first post on September 18th.
“Oh, crap! Not another topic that ask a question about white men and will probably get many posts, but very few answers or opinions from white men. Instead, it will end up loaded with posts from a mob of proud, self-righteous bla… well, we’ll just see if I called it right or not.”
Comment by tatted2death on 8 October 2009:
Dang it!!!…..I hate to say it but it looks like, overall, you might have been right, Ich-darling….lol.
But playing devil’s advocate here, I will defend SOME of those “self-righteous, proud” ones by saying that sometimes it is necessary to be that way when you have people pouncing on you out the gate. I mean, it gets mighty tiring to watch all the men (mostly of a certain racial background) come into these topics with all sorts of negativity that isn’t even warranted. Some women feel they really must “go-over-the-top” with expressing themselves (I have been guilty of this myself at times) in order to prove that they are NOT part of the group of women that have given these other men that “bad taste” in their mouths. Anywho. Ich, I sincerely hope your 2 posts will be the bookends for this particular topic……It has gone nowhere.
Comment by ZuZu21 on 8 October 2009:
Hey AllTall, How u doin BIG Daddy…..still loving your verbage!!!
Comment by budgiegirl on 8 October 2009:
Hi everyone,
This might be slightly off topic, but I wonder if it can depend on where you live and population levels of certian cultures as to their mixing. I live in Australia, and the white female/Asian male couple is very very common, as is it’s reverse. But we have a high Asian population here. However, on that note, we have a very small African American population, but perhaps because of that as well most couples I know or see with African American’s are mixed with white…
Comment by MichaelMN on 10 October 2009:
I am an American white male.
I date almost exclusively black women.
Physically, I am MOST attracted to the features of BLACK women.
I absolutely love how a black woman looks.
Completely.
The love of my life who I lost to cancer was black.
I was once married to a black woman.
Because I loved her.
What a novel idea.
I DO NOT HAVE any problems getting comfortable with a woman because of her race. I do not worry about what any white or black or green guy or woman thinks.
Dating outisde of race is not difficult.
It just is.
I could genuinely care less about anyone else’s view of me.
This is a tedious topic that has been commandeered by a very few here.
DO NOT LABEL ME.
White men or that.
No more fair that all black men are this or that. That is the essence of racism.
Take us one at a time.
The only real interracial dating that I could ever imagine is out of my race - the human race.
Where is Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr., when we really need him?
“By the content of our character.”
I wish you all love.
Michael
Comment by MichaelMN on 10 October 2009:
Sorry. Almost forgot.
ASWEETANGLE23: I love the links you posted. Beautiful. They remind me of my life.
PARABLES: You have the face of an angel.
Peace out.
Michael
Comment by dwig1989 on 10 October 2009:
Growing up in a 85% white dominated area in western NY I was not subject racism. Moving to Va. for college was when I first witnessed it. First experience in relationship aspect was not good, including guy from team, his suggestion (to my girlfriend) of getting me w/his fiance and answering my girlfriends phone to his voice @ 2:00 AM. I was highly, lets say angry. But in the end I did not attribute this to his race etc, etc. I assumed it was his ego (played in Olympics & drafted to MLB) to treat others, especially his fiance (who was black) the way he did. Later certain myths never came into play as they were put to rest by girls I dated who dated black men. Now I have dated women of all different background. Including white, hispanic, black…from Peru, Peurto Rico, France, Czech Republic and x-wife from Russia. What attracts me to women is their figure and face. What gains my interest is their intelligence, effection & elegance, which are usually better than mine, a guy who spent early life on a ballfield w/sweaty, foulmouthed teammates. Also their values & beleifs. The 2 most elegant, manorly & intelligent women I dated were black & hispanic. I find now that the ones I am most sexually attracted to have similiar figure or attributes, regaurdless of race. Sure there are racists from every race to other races and always will be, but these are worthless ignorant people who will never have any input into a decent society. But I do beleive there exsists a idealogical difference, or belief there of, that may factor in. To be blunt I do not like the Obamas and tired of being called racist because of this…I am tired of politicians playing the “race card” creating or least trying to create a divide. Just cause I feel this way doesn’t mean I liked the Bush admin. (cause I didn’t) There has been only 1 man I wanted to run for Prez., but didn’t, since Reagan and that was Colin Powell.
Comment by Logoslady on 10 October 2009:
Hi people,
I guess I’m late on this topic but I did find it good reading. As a black woman who has dated outside my race only a few times in my early years and it does seem harder for a black woman to attract a White man. I guess that’s why some black women get upset when they see a black man with a white woman because we can’t just mosey in a place and a white guy will just come up to us and flirt; but it’s so easy for a white woman to go and a brother will just flirt. So when I look at it it is very one sided and the black woman is just looking in. It shouldn’t matter what race you are a man or a woman should just be attracted to each other but that’s not the real world we live in. I believe I’m an attractive black woman who just wants an attractive man no matter what race or color he is, as long as he loves Jesus. But someone tell me what is a white man looking for and why don’t we see more white football stars with black women does it always have to be a black dude…that ok but I don’t see the balance. just wanted to ask that. Anyway White man/Black man are you out there for me and yes be 5′11″ or taller just my preference. ;} Agape
Comment by Sen on 11 October 2009:
*faerydust* - I absolutely agree with you. Mainly on two counts. The thing that you said that really stood out to me was about you having a common American culture. I know, being a person from Europe, that where I come from we don’t differentiate. You’re all just Americans or ‘Yanks’ as far as we’re concerned. I don’t mean we don’t take time to acknowledge that you are individuals and there are smaller groups within that but you’re American first. You’re more likely to have things in common and similar experiences than you are with someone in…say, France. You have an American mindset, your education system is different to ours, I could go on and on. You get my point.
The other thing was about culture. I think people seem to put too much emphasis on there being one single level culture. Also, people shouldn’t be automatically assigned a culture in the mind of someone else because they fit in level 4 of the ‘hue chart’.
As regards the topic, I know that this is more to do with history etc. I have never had a problem myself with this, nor have any of the black chicks I know. This leads me to believe it’s an American ‘issue’ and not inate or anything of that nature.
Having said this, I know there are plenty of white American guys who are attracted to women of all races in equal measure or specifically attracted to black women. I’ve known quite a few over the past few years.
Comment by Faeydust on 11 October 2009:
Sen, I’m glad you got my sentiment. I’ve never had difficulty attracting men. I guess the difficulty for me is whether or not I’m attracted to them. But I did find this topic frustrating because the first several posts came from b/w. And I think the question is posed for white men. Even with that, this topic is just to general. We are all individuals. And one black woman’s experience is not equivalent to that of another black women, merely on the basis of skin color.
Again, I’m just hard pressed to find any man that isn’t just interested in sexual interludes. I’ve come across men that have just gotten out of jail, married or just looking for fun. I’d like to meet someone that I’m attracted to who is actually available and that means emotionally and relationally. I don’t want to generalize. As I know there are good quality men out there. But it seems that the latter are the majority.
I’m just trying to remain optimist about men in general and taking it one step at a time, one man at a time and definitely one white man at a time - as MichaelMN asks us to do.
Comment by Faeydust on 11 October 2009:
Budgiegirl or is it Budlegirl? Well, I have to say thank you for your comment. I think it’s refreshing to hear about interracial dating in other countries. It’s so different from the US and can sometimes be a role model for how things should be. I used to date this German guy and he thought American’s were so sad. He said that there were lots of interracial couples in Germany and that where he lived it was not a big concern. But here it seems to be such an issue. We’re still obviously engulfed and controlled by fear.
Hey, how’s that for traversing the cultural divide?? A black, American woman with a white, German man. Oh my. How did we ever do that “with so little in common?” The truth is we all have the human experience in common. It doesn’t all boil down to what food you eat, what music you listen too. We can always find something that brings us all together. And that is love! OMG that’s so bohemian LOL.
Comment by Faeydust on 11 October 2009:
Beenwitbof - good point! But again, we’re speaking in generalizations. I just went to a party and all the couples were black. Black men, with black women. So it does happen.
Comment by sweetsoultp on 11 October 2009:
I LOVE AZ’s openess and honesty, and lack of fear of what anyone here thinks.
I think James deletes comments or moves points to prove a point that HE wants to proves.
What’s silly is that this is a site for interracial dating. So clearly, whatever statistics or stereotypes may say - the are White men who want to date Black women, and Black Women who want to dat White men.
I’ve date in and out of my race, and found good men in all. And I love that some of the White men I know can feel comfortable with and discuss race. Its real, but its not everything.
Comment by faerydust on 11 October 2009:
Hey?! I posted two comments here today and they didn’t show up? Why is? See. Now I’m all frustrated!
Comment by faerydust on 12 October 2009:
Sen - I wrote in response to your post earlier today. For some reason it didn’t actually make it on the blog.
Anyway, I’m glad you got my sentiment. I wrote a lot more. But I’m just to tired to go there right now.
Thanks, I really appreciated your views and I think that we think along the same lines. Nice to be validated. : )
Comment by Ichibod on 12 October 2009:
Faeydust,
I love your posts as well as your face.
Sen,
Your post was excellent, also.
“The other thing was about culture. I think people seem to put too much emphasis on there being one single level culture. Also, people shouldn’t be automatically assigned a culture in the mind of someone else because they fit in level 4 of the ‘hue chart’.”
This happens with just about everything in America. If something doesn’t quite fit a particular category, our society will create a whole new category, change in order to fit in, or try to force IT change. The idea of individuality is pretty much stripped away from our sense of humanity. This is a perfect example of mind control. Notice how there are many posts that say almost the same thing in these topics? Especially all of the negative ones regarding reasons for dating outside your race. God forbid a person is allowed to believe that men and women of any race can have just as many similarites as differences. Stereotypes are our livelyhood. At least, that’s what they have us believe.
Comment by Ichibod on 12 October 2009:
To sweetsoultp and whoever doesn’t understand the point of statistics,
Statistics never said white men don’t date/marry black women. Statistics don’t say anything ONLY happens or NEVER happens.
Comment by Arcadia73 on 12 October 2009:
Hey, all! I realize that I am all sorts of late to this topic but it is one of great interest to me. I am a mixed race Black woman who happens to be married to a White man. We have been together for nearly 5 years in total and married for just under 2 years. Most of my life I have dated “outside” of my race. Black men never seemed to be “into” me. The one or two that were into me were also basically ” misfits” like me. I think maybe it had something to do with me not fitting the usual “sterotype”? I grew up listening to rock & roll and playing drums & guitar and had multi colored hair and wore combat boots with my catholic school girl uniform while in high school,LOL! I think most Black guys thought I was a freak! On the other hand I never lacked for attention from White guys and they gravitated towards me. They never made me feel weird about my interests or appearance. I also have at least 3 Black female friends that also happen to be married to White men! So, I definitely think that there are many more White men that are attracted to Black women then people realize.
Comment by Faeydust on 13 October 2009:
Statistic - Probability of something occurring based on percentages. Probability should never be considered a fact.
I got an A in statistics - a really long time ago ; )
Comment by Ichibod on 13 October 2009:
Faeydust-Smart and sexy!
Comment by budgiegirl on 14 October 2009:
Faeydust - no, you were right the first time, it is budgiegirl (as in the little birds we have everywhere over here)
Thank you and I agree with pretty much every comment you have made - I have a lot of friends in the US, of differing nationalities and they all speak of the difficulty with cultural mixing. Perhaps becuase you do have such a huge population that everyone has the opportunity to segregate themselves that it does happen. Australia is the same land mass as the USA and we have such a tiny population comparitively and therefore make a much smaller ‘world impact’ as you guys, but in return, we just don’t have enough people to split off into groups as easily. Don’t get me wrong, we certainly have our fair share of racism, but on a smaller scale (I think).
On a side note - what do they say? 83.5% of statistics are made up
Arcadia73 - I understand where you are coming from, I am very pale white and I was a bit eccentric, especially growing up, being a stronger slightly metal music orientated girl, and I found the white guys were intimidated by me but men of other backgrounds weren’t. Interesting yes?
Sen and Ichibod - I agree, a very good friend of mine who moved from Taiwan to Australia 2 years ago commented that in Asia they don’t have nearly as many social sub-cultures as we do here, and I imagine it would be even more prominent in the US. Goth, emo, bogan, jock, but then also here we have social groups of people who like a particular culture/group as a partner preference. Individuals liking other individuals purely on each compatibility seems more and more difficult to some by.
Comment by budgiegirl on 14 October 2009:
Oh and Sweetp6969, just a note, in my personal experience, Asian men are at first incredibly withdrawn, but once you get to know them they are the most honest, communicative and cheeky men I have met
Comment by godiva61 on 14 October 2009:
I almost forgot to welcome the new faces here.
SimplyMe, Faeydust, budgiegirl and bealvly, a big welcome to you all! It’s great to have you!
love
godiva
Comment by SEWilde on 14 October 2009:
Miss Godiva,
It is good to hear from you again. Hope all is well with you and yours.
Let us not forget a hearty welcome to, MichaelMN, and dwig1989. You can’t have bw/wm dialog without wm.
Have a fantastic day!
SE
Comment by godiva61 on 14 October 2009:
SEWilde,
Likewise! It’s always a pleasure to hear from you as well!
Thanks for the check, I did not mean to omit anyone, great looking out!
So to MichaeIMN and dwig1989, welcome aboard and to ALL that I may have omitted, welcome, it wasn’t intentional!
love
godiva
Comment by bigeyes31 on 14 October 2009:
Faeydust and Arcadia73
Wow! I found myself engrossed in the little bit of “inside” information you both gave on your interracial dating experiences! I was smiling at the screen so hard,probably looking like the the “Joker”, LOL. I enjoyed the perspective your friend from Germany gave about the mindset of us “Americans”. Everyone else seems to have evolved to a higher level of thinking when it comes to IR’s and race in general. As a black woman living in the deep south practically all my life, what he said was so very very freeing. Not that white European men are “better” than white American men but I keep getting feedback from many different directions that they somehow are above the pettinesss concerning race. For the love of GOD, can I please meet a man who is going to be past race and allow me to show him the woman that I am?! With white american men, you can’t get past the defense mechanism that goes up because of the racial concerns. It’s hard enough to date and then have to worry about some weak man who can’t get past not being accepted.
Arcadia73
LOL the combat boots and the schoolgirl uniform….priceless..I love it! I love individuality…that’s what it will take to date interracially in my humble opinion. Keep rocking girl!
Hello Ms godiva! I hope you are well! I’ve been away seems like ages and miss you guys!
Ichibod and fire321 as always, glad to see your faces in the place!
I didn’t really know how much I miss the blog…. 85guy…good to see you too man.
Peace
Comment by Arcadia73 on 14 October 2009:
LOL..thanks Bigeyes! Glad you enjoyed my comment. I stumbled upon this site and am quite happy to have found it! It’s nice to share some interesting dialogue with like minded individuals.
= )
Comment by Ichibod on 14 October 2009:
“…combat boots with my catholic school girl uniform…”
Thank you very much for the visual, Arcadia.
Comment by TricciNicci on 14 October 2009:
Hey 85kguy,
My computer is doing a lot better. I did look up the Microsoft 7 thingie but it’s a costly upgrade I don’t want to incur at this point. I’ve had this computer for 2 years almost and think I mentioned how much I passionately dislike Vista. The overhaul patch for the 7 Download as their answer was my biggest cue yet to switch completely to a Mac, lol! So thanks for the headsup. Really appreciate it but as I’ve returned back to school who needs the distraction of Microsoft when I can just have a MacAttack everyday.
Arcadia73, I feel you on the self expression and am glad you were able to experience and express, well, YOU! Of course we are all conglomerations of lifestyle, wisdoms, philosophies and environments plus so much more. My younger siblings came along in the rock era of the 80’s as well. Their concert choices were groups like Journey, Kiss, Boy George, Metallica, etc. as that was the expression of not only the two of them but their peers.
With our background being as diverse as it was then and is now, as siblings I’m glad we didn’t face the enforcement of cultural taboos at home that sometimes face children when branching out of what seems “normal” culturally. Thanks for writing your comments and sharing with readers such as myself your “everyday”-ness. All to often, those of us who do not follow the “cultural” pack are identified to the point of isolation due to intolerance.
I thank my parent’s almost daily when I see the benefit in my life of being who I am and what I am without borders. It is a beautiful thing to speak and be with those who share a like experience to myself. No matter the door or window I saw them in or met them through. I hope through these type blogs and sharing such as we all do here, my little window of the world has opportunity to see a person who enjoys the sound of poetic jazz, art, history and lively cafes, lol!
Your statement I’m sure is helping others to see the tolerance they should have (because it is true, we are all part of the HUMAN race), helps us all. I look forward to reading more about your experiences as you were comfortable in your boots and multi colored hair just as I was with my nose in my favorite Poe or Dickinson masterpiece; in makeup on stage at theatre practice (not playing the maid but the lead blonde hair and all!); or simply on barre in ballet.
I’ll keep posting and learning from what others have to share. So far I haven’t met that special someone, but he’s out there (I sincerely think “My Guy” is of a NON-American culture since that is whom I get along with best. For me, that seems to be MY biggest hurdle as most American “White” guys love me, but I tend to think they are after sex and I’m not usually “Black” enough (whatever the heck that means) for the African descendants in American, lol to both!
If a person had the dignity like Big Eyes said, they and many others could stop tripping over their own racial/color and ‘hoodish barriers to see the real person. So hang in there Big Eyes you are one of the MOST beautiful women on this blog as you are sweet and real with a pure spirit!). Mostly I won’t accept anything less than true love from the HUMNAN perspective. As a man is real, but color/race is just a stereotype…can’t expect much from that.
Comment by TricciNicci on 14 October 2009:
And er, that was HUMAN, lol! Oops on the typo (is that how you spell “typo”?)
Comment by Arcadia73 on 15 October 2009:
@ Ichibod - You are very welcome.Lol!
@ TricciNicci - I’m glad you connected to my story. It’s nice to feel understood! Growing up was difficult at times due to my eclectic interests. I was often the outcast especially in the Black community. Most of them just didn’t “get” me and never really bothered to try. Oh well, there loss! LMAO!
Comment by TricciNicci on 15 October 2009:
H E Double Hockey Sticks Yeah! Been there done that Arcadia and t’aint neva goin’ back! It was “WHITE Girl!” in the AA community and the red cheeked, blushed confession of, “you’re so diiiiiiferent from the others”, as though I came from a bunch of monkeys and the Caucasian telling me this simply discovered one “that could talk” (Wow, what a marvel).
What I found worked best for me was to educate BOTH! The person(s) within the realm of what I was told was the “Black” community needed to be educated. The fact that is “Black” (even as a community) is not owned specifically by ANYONE and can only be represented by a degree of inclusion.
Since I did not EXclude myself from the group or association, that, in and of itself, was INclusion ENOUGH for me: i.e., I didn’t need anybody defining for ME what “Black” was/was not! I, in my individuality was expression enough, alike and apart from the merit or non merit of another within that same community. Especially someone with bad grammar, poor social skills and plummeting grades, lol!
I had fine examples of persons within the community that enriched my self awareness, responsibility, interaction and goal orientation as a person. Thus creating a caliber of spirit surpassing any color barrier! Since “Black” is truly a color and NOT a community I developed my sense of beingness from the standpoint of community based thoughts, ideals, accomplishments and reality, far exceeding the base of the “primary” colors children associate with in kindergarten.
On behalf of Caucasians the attempt was to imply it was “ok” to accept me as though I’d passed some civility test to get into “the club”. I was ‘always’ permissibly informed of this acceptance and ‘always’ took equal time to inform the individual their acceptance wasn’t needed. I’d go, do, act, access and exist where I pleased and with whom I pleased. As my PARENTS assured me of my ability to do so by birthing me on AMERICAN soil, lol! Permitting the some-of-my-best-friends-are-black contingentcy no superiority over me in Caucasian settings and denying any effort to defeat purity of SPIRIT in my own community left me at altruistic balance of LOVE for myself and edification of others.
You are 100% correct Arcadia not being shoved into a box someone created to stunt the growth of another is the most freeing thing! So I join you! LMAOx2!
Comment by RYAN on 15 October 2009:
i completely disagree with the fact that most white men are least attracted to black women
Comment by TricciNicci on 15 October 2009:
So Ryan, what is your point? Why/why not do you support your statement? It sounds like you are one of a handful of Caucasian men who prefer Women of Color…true/not true, why?
Comment by RYAN on 15 October 2009:
i cant speak for my whole race or gender, i only represent myself. physically, brown skin looks better. emotionally, i like the swagger, attitude and confidence of black women. im in college and i like educated women, but for some reason, im more attracted to the project ones. and the fact that i never had sex with a white woman probably has a lot to do with the way that i feel.
Comment by TricciNicci on 15 October 2009:
And by handful I mean according to this blog. You know there is a saying that goes something along the lines that a man never gets over his first true love. Possibly yours was a Round the Way type of Chick, dunno. Just speaking on what makes you soooo attracted to a Hoodie. Maybe you don’t want to work that hard for what you feel comes easily. Maybe it comes so easily there’s no need to work as that is your reward. Again, dunno. It is whatever YOU say.
Are you going to be in the number of white guys that like to enjoy the enticements of who you like, but wear a different face of survival? What will you do once you graduate university and merge into a world not so accepting of the corporate office presentation by a white man in French braids/cornrows?
I’m older than you and these are questions for the future. Probably not much you have need to consider. Sure you are just funnin’ it now because that’s what you like, but for fun candy or is it the meal you will work hard for? Bootylicious or wedding traditions?
You will do what you please, but I hope the attraction you have that begin to turn your head turns your heart…into a peaceful, abiding LOVE and RESPECT for whomever you choose (Black or White). And I mean that for every woman you meet, not just the sister that is my. They have beautiful hearts in the ghetto too so always be kind to yourself and pick the best for you. Hope I haven’t over preached you and thanks for sharing honestly.
Comment by looking4life on 15 October 2009:
tricci
with you preaching right to choose that last blog was a little rough, to put it mildly. rather than taking this approach it is better to support ryan in his endeavors. he knows what he likes regardless of the reason which really are nobodys business other than his.love and respect should be offered, given and accepted in any relationship. at least he was able to decide what makes him happy and not worry about his peers opinions early in life. ryan regardless of reasons or intentions good on you man go with what makes you happy .
Comment by thekid47 on 15 October 2009:
I don’t know what topics like this for the interracial community truth to tell. There was a recent incident in Louisiana, here is the posting, of someone who refused to marry interracial couples, this more than 40 years after Loving vs. Virginia.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091015/ap_on_re_us/us_interracial_rebuff
I have seen white men with black women-my Cousin in law, who married my 1st cousin, is from Southie in Boston, rejected by his family for so doing. He is part of our family. Same the other way–this topic doesn’t help, remember, where it is okay to color outside the line.
Peace to all.
Respects..
Comment by RYAN on 15 October 2009:
you are right tricci, i wanted to hear your opinion, thank you for responding. i should be thinking into the future about that. i was thinking i would try to incorporate both a professional life with a not so professional one, and if it doesnt work, then i will have to make changes to better myself (like changing my appearance and quitting weed) when i move ahead in life and my career. im majoring in computer science.
Comment by TricciNicci on 15 October 2009:
Ryan,
You are a beautiful child and a special heart just because you have the power of choice and love. All of us have to come into a “reality” even if we must create it ourselves. That in NO WAY means CHANGING the CORE of our HEARTS. Remember what I said, if you like a girl from a place others find difficult to integrate into their worlds, you stand up for her because YOU know her heart.
I have a friend, who smokes/smoked weed. I told this friend the truth. Is it called puffing without inhaling? Dunno, wasn’t there. My friend grown enough to choose? Absolutely! Should my friend consider to have a job and want to keep it? You see the logic? The choice of opportunity doesn’t change the mind set, it does change what one permits one’s options to be. Now will my friend be the first to VOTE for medical marijauna, lol! I leave you to ponder, lol.
Create YOUR WORLD, make your moves and remember your heart. We are not robots but humans. We can have a job, cut our hair, put on a suit and still love the earthiness of sounds and colors, the voices and hands that shape us. Even in the hidden place. You love your girl, whoever she is. Be a man and T-E-A-C-H her by example because every good woman’s heart leans towards favor of her man! She will do whatever you ask, just have the confidence (and I know you are building this daily in your self expression [Love the hair!], your studies [To the future and tomorrow!] and that beautiful smile [Only you know and to whom you choose to reveal]) to love her with respect!
I have three sisters and a step brother who majored in your field of study. One has been an analyst for many years, another is an administrator and one is a business environments specialist. Originally I choose CIS, but selected Marketing and Communications instead. That of course, was many years ago, lol! You’ll find your way Ryan, lovely people always do. Enjoy!
Comment by TricciNicci on 15 October 2009:
Looking4Life,
That’s why I needed to clarify at close of my statement as my perceived “preachiness” was certainly not my intent. I saw it more as edification. Sincerest apologies, just young man/older woman wisdoms I hope. How have you been? You were missed. Good to see you though.
Comment by faerydust on 16 October 2009:
Awe, Ryan’s just a young boy. He’s not sure why he likes black women, let alone why he consider’s them “projects.” You probably are attracted to women who are insecure, despite an air of confidence, which is really a defense mechanism formed to keep them from getting hurt. By dating “projects” you’re able to avoid real intimacy. Try dating someone more on your level. You might be pleasantly surprised. Leave the “projects” to heal themselves.
But again, you’re young, so enjoy life. You only live once. But be respectful.
Comment by faerydust on 16 October 2009:
Ichibod, thank you : ) It’s been fun posting on this blog. Didn’t expect the “sexy/smart” comment, but I definitely like it! I’ll be back for more as soon as I can pull my head out a my text books.
Arcadia73 - Seems as though we both had similar experiences growing up, “not fitting in to the black community.” Maybe that’s why I’m attracted to white men. I never felt understood by my peers. But when I moved to a predominately white suburb, I was accepted without question.
I totally get you Arc!
Comment by godiva61 on 16 October 2009:
bigeyes31
Ms. Natalie, now it’s my turn to apologize to you for the “johnny come lately” response. I do thank you for saying “hello” to me on the 14th. You are so sweet and I did miss seeing you!
I assumed that you were busy, busy with life, or perhaps you had won the lottery, and fled to the French Riviera(smile). I do hope and pray that one day you will be able to at least visit Europe. However it is much more enriching when you can live in a country for a while, to truly absorb the culture versus just vactioning there.
Anyway, here’s to you and all the happiness, and the love that you deserve and is destined for your life!
Gotta run, back to being a ping pong ball(lol).
love
godiva
Tatted, and Ashley where are you my dear friends???
Miss you both!!!!!!!
Comment by tatted2death on 17 October 2009:
Hey ya, Godiva-dear…..
I am still here…..just enjoying my “quiet-corner” for a change…..and enjoying the fresh responses from the newcomers; they are most welcomed here.
Me thinks Ashley is more than likely enjoying married life….if you get my drift…LOL.
to Arcadia and faerydust…..you just don’t know how happy I get every time I hear from a fellow “misfit”…..we ought form a club or something; where we can wear our combat boots, listen to our metal and headbang with “thumbs tucked” (\m/) to our hearts content….LOL.
Comment by julius26 on 17 October 2009:
Arcadia73 and Faerydust i dont understand the meaning that you couldn’t fit in the black community. Is the majority right or the majority wrong.
Comment by tatted2death on 17 October 2009:
It seems to me that they made it clear that they also didn’t really fit in anywhere else for that matter….hence the term “misfit” (no other label really fits….lol). I’d be willing to bet they probably didn’t click with many other girls either.
…It’s fact that most people like when they are able to categorize things, situations and OTHER PEOPLE. It’s basic human nature. Even the best of us tend to do it. So when we come across people that don’t “fit in” with what we may think they are we are thrown for a loop. Nothing has to be deemed right or wrong here. It’s just refreshing when you come across someone that “thinks outside the box”. I would have been just as happy if those two ladies were white or Asian. Alot of people can relate to not “fitting in” whatever community they happen to come from because the environment you grow up in does not necessarily define who you are as a human being. No one can tell you how to be you and what makes you happy…..PERIOD.
Besides, Arcadia already stated she got the distinct impression that Black guys thought she was a freak….I think that more than qualifies as “not fitting in”…..but I’ll let her answer that for herself.
BTW…..how have you been, Julius???…..glad to see you out here again.
Peace and Blessings
tatted2death
Comment by TricciNicci on 17 October 2009:
“…i dont understand the meaning that you couldn’t fit in the black community.” - julius26
Now that’s an interesting perspective, that one “couldn’t” fit in. Isn’t that like saying those individuals or any individual, for that matter, are “unwilling” to do so? I believe if you asked that question even to a broader audience, you would understand that those who are unaccepted rarily are unaccepted by their own choice, lol!
Clicks, clans and tribes are groups that metriculate perceptions intended for a “collective” mentality. If there is a question or presentation of obvious difference the collective need not think as it has an automatic response mechanism called “rejection”. It is part of the human survival instinct and proportionally related to what Plato was referring to in the Allegory of the Cave.
If you are familiar with the theory you might consider the discussion Plato continued with his student in speculating upon the return of the soul released from chains and drug from the cave. Inadvertently people miss their places of first beginnings, or have curiosity about their origins, thus wanting to return to the “cave”, “back home”, etc. This is where the second half of the allegory reveals what many, including myself, experience from their “cultural peers” and others in the “community” or collective, if you will.
When one can see the culpable illusion or dis-reality for what it is, often no amount of education, edification or reality checks can get those still chained/participating/unaware/unaccepting, whatever, to adjust to where you are or permit an inclusion of your experiences in their dialogue. No matter what. The collective mentality would rather reject, deny, kill or denegrate for no other purpose than the perceived notion you have improved/elevated knowledge. This leads to a an assumptive regard you now disapprove of the group or think the group beneath you or possibly that you are superior to it. By the way, this is many groups or cultures, not all and other factors do apply.
I’m sure others can explain it better and you will grasp the exactness of it from both those you asked. Plato’s Allegory helped me quite a bit when I questioned these challenges many moons ago. Oh yes, one more observation on “fitting in” from the perspective you questioned concerning minority/majority ideologies. The min/maj only helps to form each individual and is not THE individual. This is why the maj/min can never BE right or wrong on the issue because both they and the individual are permitted to do as they please in regard to inclusion/exclusion…and that my dear fellow, may not always agree!
Namaste
Comment by Ichibod on 17 October 2009:
Yea, Julius. I didn’t fit in either. And when I tried, it was like I was kept from doing so. I didn’t have classes with the other black students except for gym classes and maybe an elective course here and there, but I mostly had gifted and honors classes and sadly there were no other blacks in those classes. I also grew up in a predominately white neighboorhood, so I had very little interaction with my black peers except for at church. And most of the time, their parents went, not them. If you don’t talk like they do, don’t walk like they do, or don’t dress and act like they do, you won’t fit in. And they made sure I knew it, and they also made sure that the whites and other students knew it, too. I don’t miss being made fun of by blacks kids for not being “black” enough, and then being made fun of the white students because of the jokes they made. However the “Brothers Brothers” (from In Living Color) joke, when they found out I had an older brother, did made me laugh. Like Tats said, there isn’t really a right or wrong in the majority, however many of the people who tried to ostracize me were not the brightest or well mannered students. I did good and avoided a lot of groundings and ass whoopings at home by not fitting in.
Comment by TricciNicci on 17 October 2009:
Hey another blogger played it right and suggested creating a group just for misfits to continue whatever things they were attracted to as a sub group of a group that displays dysfunctional motives. I think this is the best most people can afford to do. Sorta like copying the monkey that’s already copying another copy of a copy. Thank God some really fall off the edge of both societies and into a realm of originality!
Sorry for me, I could care less about either “group”. As I know those who go the long road are those who can create their very own and INVITE others to share in. Many wouldn’t choose that option because “there’s dysfunction in numbers”, lol! Big groups only work when there’s a mob after you, then unfortunately mob meets mob and chaos ensues (sad but true look at our corporations and their inside plundering and the eventual Fall of America over the last few years). When one is all attracting the formation of allegiances outweighs the mob mentality, they’re there when you need them and democracy and peace can ensue.
Now I’m not suggesting there’s no fun in a good ole’ fashioned rowdy battle, as even I enjoy boxing. It’s just that most wouldn’t want that for their normal lives as boxing’s a sport. Most of us have a survivalist mentality, don’t know how to get along and would agree with the lie before upsetting what degree of happiness we’ve been permitted false allegiance to (Let me make that clear, I said “most” not “all”).
I grew up in a multicultural setting with families and neighbors happy to share in our lives. That’s because my parents were stand up people. That wasn’t always appreciated. My father was a man who didn’t have to ask permissions to survive or believe he had to be subservient to others as he was a servant to all who needed his assistance, help and guidance. Not one of his daughters has had to experience anything but FREEDOM!
All of us know how to serve, be of good report and NOT be under the superficial regard of any person! Still, eventhough my Dad reared us in this manner, we had to choose for ourselves. It was only a confirmation of those things called good that he raised us proper and we choose the benefit sometimes by default. Therefor, I count myself amongst the blessed everyday because we know who we are and don’t have to rely upon “inclusion” to self obstructive limitations.
I just wish everyone on this blog much success, love and happiness. I hope all of our individual (no matter the seeming dissimilarities, fragmentations or purely out of bounds…) - I just hope and pray it all goes together for the good…maybe not for the individual, but for someone who may not even be seen that is encouraged by the struggle we face in trying to understand, overcome the odds and uplift each other. Let those fighting for good always be greater than those preying on the things of good. That is my hope and prayer.
For all of you, God Bless you and keep you safe.
Comment by SEWilde on 17 October 2009:
Ichibod,
I like you, and as many others on this site have expressed, and especially when I was younger, I never fit in. Even though my upbringing was a little different than yours, I was born and raised in the projects for a majority of my life, for some reason, I just never fit in. I wanted to, but I was never accepted for being myself.
My music was different, my mode of dress was different, (I go back a little further than the black boots and head banging crew - but, I was ostracized just the same)and people just wanted to beat me up because I was different, and I didn’t blend in.
Of course I encountered the whole, “you talk white” thing, and everything else that goes along with it. I was much more rejected by my own people, than by any other race.
I have long since accepted myself as an individual, and these days, I could care less what anybody thinks about me. I do have to chuckle though, at the thought of regarding one’s so-called “blackness,” that you can be born and raised black all your life, and still not be, “black enough.”
Comment by SEWilde on 17 October 2009:
Ich, (may I refer to you as Ich?) - correction, I meant to say, “I, (comma) like you…” It reads as, “I like you,” and it’s not that I don’t ‘like’ you, I meant to say that, I, ‘as well as’ you…
It’s amazing that one little comma, can change the whole meaning of 3 little words.
Comment by looking4life on 17 October 2009:
wow, i never realized how many ostracized people there are i alsmost feel as though i belong…lol i may not have grown up in the projects but this is appearing to be a common thread which then makes a person like myself feel a little less alone. my parents being divorced led me to attend 13 different schools up to and including grade 7. i was always different, always new,travelled alone and was never around long enough to “fit in”.
Comment by TricciNicci on 17 October 2009:
OMG Looking4. You read my childhood (minus the early divorce) like tea leaves, lol! That’s the point, WE ALL BELONG! We have to find our own beauty in the meaning of this. The other point is that you attended far more schools than I and probably for different reasons, but look at the similiarities. People have more common experiences to share than not and it’s good to have a place even in Cyberspace to discuss them. I think it’s beautiful. Glad we’re all keeping the dialogue going.
Namaste
Comment by julius26 on 17 October 2009:
Thank you TATTEDTODEATH
Comment by azrazyel on 17 October 2009:
Ryan said:
“i completely disagree with the fact that most white men are least attracted to black women”
Ryan, obviously you live in a different area than I. And you are probably in a completely different environment as well.
You wouldn’t believe the things white guys say about black women around here. Everything that can be said, could be said and will be said about them well…has been said. In negativity of course.
My point is different areas have different tastes with different people who believe different things.
Comment by azrazyel on 17 October 2009:
looking4life said:
In response to>> tricci
with you preaching right to choose that last blog was a little rough, to put it mildly. rather than taking this approach it is better to support ryan in his endeavors. he knows what he likes regardless of the reason which really are nobodys business other than his.love and respect should be offered, given and accepted in any relationship. at least he was able to decide what makes him happy and not worry about his peers opinions early in life. ryan regardless of reasons or intentions good on you man go with what makes you happy .
I agree wholeheartedly. I’m glad he has his personal interests and opened up about them.
Nobody should question someone else with their intentions. I’m glad you pointed that out.
Comment by bigeyes31 on 18 October 2009:
Hey Ms godiva
No problem about the late response just as long as you’re sticking around…I’m ok…LOL. I know how things work and am just happy whenever you post. Take care
Peace and rest to you Mrs. G
Comment by TricciNicci on 18 October 2009:
azrazyel,
Your perception may be, how shall I say, well a bit…colored. Tainted may be an even better choice. As right before the observation in your above post, you stated (and I quote), “Ryan, obviously you live in a different area than I. And you are probably in a completely different environment as well.
You wouldn’t believe the things white guys say about black women around here. Everything that can be said, could be said and will be said about them well…has been said. In negativity of course.”
Now, I have an appreciation for your succinct interpretation of Caucasian men you interact with or are exposed to or both. Tell us here in public blogland, Monsieur Azrazyel, do you “correct” what they are saying about these women you say this group of men are so repugnantly discussing in volatile disregard? Do they do this to the women’s faces, in the blatant regard of society? If so, are the women they are targeting wanting to sleep with them, cook meals for them, rear their children and help them get ahead in life?
Furthermore, are the men actually spending this amount of time alluded to in your discussion response on women they vociferously detest and socially reject because they are not attracted to them? Or because they haven’t the slightest inclination in their racially devided pre-CRM brain that any psychiatrist, social anthropologist and 5th grade student could tell you they suffer from a latent attraction that is perversely driven.
As you cannot tell or convince me that not one of them would turn away from being sexually active with the objects of their obvious stigmatized dejection. So to round it up let’s see, “I hate you by day but would rape you at night”. I find this all too funny - the twisting of the word “attraction”. Does attraction permit someone to denegrate someone else because they have no other use for them, but to be treated as a verbal and social toilet yet be covert enough to sexualize them?
Is not there any humanity in your neighborhood and state? Do you have even one person who shows love towards these people who are stigmatized in your society? You say you are attracted to Women of Color, what say you when her sister is being humiliated by day and raped by the Author of that Rejection at night? Are you the one she can depend on to protect her good name and image? These are questions we can all think of in asking ourselves if we maybe somehow quietly benefit from this derision. Are we the people we say we are?
I am not trying to insult you nor do I think you owe any duty outside of the conviction of your heart which is between you and God. I just find it humerous when I see how ignorance can easily be spread just by a boys-in-the-club attitude. You nudge homeboy with a heads up on how to ‘handle’ the situation and then socially nudge the young man who I might add, was talking to me (I know, I know it’s a public blog. Got it, still…), with the little covert statement judging my actions, hahahaha!
Ryan and I had a wonderful conversation and we are complete strangers! I see on this blog a true trend with those who cannot stand on their own merit of wanting to create clicks and social agenda groups. Hope you have fun on the playground exchanging marbles. So if you need to sharpen your social scissors, please use a peon that has agreed to be your whipping boy. My parents disciplined me in the right direction so I need no subtle hint nor directive from assanine remarks such as your “and-that’s-the-way-it-is” summation, lol! That is not the way it is! Not at all. Had you read further after Looking4Life’s lovely chastetisement you would have saw Ryan’s response to me.
“…you are right tricci, i wanted to hear YOUR OPINION, thank you for responding. i should be thinking into the future about that [CAPS MINE].”
Especially since you openly admit to not having one person in your social exposure who can teach you the merits of accepting others for who they are and not what monster they’ve been made out to be. Of course, I commend you for beginning this journey as it seems, alone. At the same time I feel for you and hope someone with decency in those things which males pride themselves on discussing with one another in the direction of their gender attitudes and attributes, can help encourage you in a positive, mature and edifying manner.
Until you find such a male, here are some FACTS you might want to check into to help widen your own path in achieving a greater tolerance for those in your area (As a way of helping others burdened with hatred for not people of color, but the women that bear and create the entire African American lineage of the human race).
Since intolerance and all the rest you described occurs widely, I checked some facts that may affect how people perceive groups within racial classifications specific to your state. Apparently Cleveland is a city in which culturally African American’s did not thrive successfully over longer periods of time and whose social qualifiers did not change at rates equivalent to their white counterparts. Additionally, the proportionate number of African Americans in a state of poverty is still 1 in 4 or 25%. This is radically unchanged since the 1970’s according to Census tract numbers. The middle class has all but vanished and the upper class of African Americans in Cleveland are doing to well to care what latent degenerative minds in racially devisive cloaks are thinking.
You wrote: “Nobody should question someone else with their intentions. I’m glad you pointed that out.”
I think intent is a large part of the answer as to why humans behave in the manner they do at times, good or bad. Treating someone as a non person = hence the word “nobody”, is not the best use of venacular because expression and opinion are the two traits Americans pride themselves on under our Great and Beautiful Constitution. Rightly so as an intersting fact we can figure this from is the knowledge that ‘intent’ is 9/10th’s of the Law.
In other words, let’s just be clear, intent, purpose, directive and direction are EXTREMELY IMPORTANT to the interaction of every action. In Cleveland it’s apparent the intent of a certain cultural class wanted to prevent African American women from competing with their right to exist. I didn’t learn enough about the overall impact to define the ripple effect this caused, but can see the fall out in you as a citizen impacted by that state’s hatreds.
I wish you well and I don’t plan to stop anytime soon in speaking to whom I wish on this blog as my intent is to open and keep open the dialogue with whomever I please and vice versa.
Namaste
Comment by azrazyel on 18 October 2009:
TricciNicci:
Jeesh. Why did you even write all of that? To be honest, I didn’t even read all of it.
Relax!
It was a simple observation of what I’ve seen and heard of people saying before about black women.
And no, we don’t set around all day degrading black women or think of how many insults we can fathom.
It has been brought up before with friends and & others through simple conversation. I have simply stated what I have heard, albeit I do not agree with them on their conclusions, I also know they have a right to believe what they want.
This is an exception and not the rule. Not everyone I have spoken to believes this. But an overwhelming majority are ignorant…..per say “anything but black.” It doesn’t help when I have some racist friends, but their beliefs don’t affect me.
They will be them, I will be me. They know what they want, I know what I want.
So I just call it at that.
Comment by looking4life on 18 October 2009:
tricci,
even when i grew up there were and still are people who spout the old mantra “if it aint white it aint right” and generally speaking comments like that i believe is what az is referring to. do i like it? definitely not!! do i support it, same answer.but its also not my job to educate the ignorant masses either. if i do get looks i ignore them and i will correct any language directed at me or near me. simply put i have the right to my decisions as long as i am willing to stand behind them like a man unashamed and deal with the consequences of my actions.
Comment by looking4life on 18 October 2009:
by the way i have never been to a kkk rally and tried to educate them nor would i try has anyone else????
Comment by TricciNicci on 18 October 2009:
Thanks Azra and Looking4,
I get your points and thank you for the responses. You are both correct and I would not EXPECT either of you nor anyone else for that matter to bear the burden of the masses, even Moses had to get help with that, lol! Look I don’t live in La Laland and I hear and see racists attitudes in my own people just as you get exposed to those in your own.
Still, there is a vast difference between what people do in their private time and what freedoms they withhold from someone in society who’s trying to feed a family, protect it, educate it and find a general sense of balance and harmony within society for not only the family unit but themselves. So when Az said those things, that is what I thought he was referring to and not private conversations.
Looking4 I come from a line of very proactive people. My parents were in the Civil Rights Movement with the Rainbow Coalition, marching for civil rights for everyone, organizing in the neighborhoods we lived in. I’ve been to hear Farrakhan, met Rosa Parks and even did an annual tribute to Harriet Tubman, Sojourner Truth and Ms. Parks in high school. These dreams of what people talk about don’t come easily. So when the work is done I don’t believe in setting down as though the factory is closed. Like you said when stares come you ignore; snide remarks, you deal. I do understand.
You are both right, you cannot force people to believe anything, and “white is right” for some and the some can be both Black and White. That is why I asked the questions I did and your answers are well received. Az forgive the looong response to your short statement to Ryan. I obviously love to write and come from a very disciplined writing background so hence, long and strong! I think open discourse helps us all and rather we agree or disagree it’s apparent we learn each time an exchange occurs.
Azrazyel I’m glad to hear you are the encouragement to your friends discouragement. I don’t have any problem standing up for the beliefs of this forum as I run into those ‘observations’ made by people I know as well. In fact I lost one friend who was malicious about my right to choose. I am happy to say we reunited just a few years later and believe we both learned a valuable lesson in tolerance.
Looking4Life, I’ve never attended a KKK rally as you know that’s a closed society, but the affects of their channeled environment is seen effectually (My father was born in Huntsville, Alabama where chapters of the organization were active during his growing years). The exposure I have had as part of the ripple effect has always been addressed to stop the ripple using the same tactics as you. I’m encouraged the two of you seem to be able to love on your own terms. I wish more people were in our shoes.
Comment by Fire321 on 18 October 2009:
@triccinicci
I enjoy reading your responses but you get rather lengthy with them. I can’t speak for anyone else but shortening them may be a good idea.
Comment by Sarena81 on 18 October 2009:
OMG…I still can’t unsubscribe…has anyone else tried to unsubscribe with that manage your subscriptions button?
Comment by azrazyel on 18 October 2009:
Sarena:
Maybe try and email the staff.
Comment by Violetq on 18 October 2009:
more white guys a approach bme then black guys. I think its my body type…thats what my black guy friends told me.
Comment by Arcadia73 on 18 October 2009:
@ Julius26 - Well, I would imagine there really is no right or wrong when it comes to any particular “majority”. I am sure the “majority” of which you refer to probably THINKS they are right, LOL! It’s more a matter of me simply opting not to be type cast in a specific role within society in any way, shape or form. My use of the term “misfit” is actually more of a reference to other people’s ( mainly unenlightened Blacks)idea that something was ” wrong” with me for not being and doing the things they they deemed appropriate for a person with African heritage to be and do. I NEVER thought anything was wrong with ME! I was just hurt that as open and loving and accepting as I am of all people that so many narrow-minded individuals would judge me soley on my attire, choice of music or choice of companions. I befriended those who showed a genuine interest in me and allowed me to be myself. I’ll be damned if I was going to try and change the way I speak, dress or act JUST so I could continue to perpetuate a cultural sterotype so as to “belong”! I’m a rebel..always have been ..always will be. I march to the beat of my own drummer.
@ Tatted2death & Tricci - You guys rock! I love your independent, playful spirits and the fact that you also refused to compromise your integrity to appease an unbalanced, judgemental “majority”!
Comment by Ichibod on 18 October 2009:
Sarena,
You have to click the link that shows up at the bottom of your emails. That’s what I did and it worked.
Comment by jokeboy69 on 19 October 2009:
i think if you love some one it doesnt matter what race they are love is a beautiful thing i myself am vary attracted to afracan american woman and i dont care what anybody thinks about it but i do fine it hard to fine afraican ameriacn woman who are intrested in whitemen
Comment by RYAN on 20 October 2009:
im from new orleans, so im used to being around a lot of black people. i have friends of all races, but when it comes to love, relationships, and sex, i only chose black women. i also see many other interracial couples all the time.
Comment by Violet on 20 October 2009:
ryan…i think you have identity issues.
Comment by Ichibod on 21 October 2009:
Ryan,
You from the bayou, too? Sweet! I’m thinking about coming down to Harvey for Thanksgiving.
Comment by RYAN on 21 October 2009:
Thats wsup. Im 5 minutes away in Gretna. You’re from the westbank?
Comment by JohnnyBadBoy on 22 October 2009:
One nice thing, so many beautiful female bloggers…enough spark keeping the conversation alive…still have the question about the topic, but, maybe it is supposed to get people to look deep inside…I really wish that Caucasian designation would sink into a swamp somewhere, if I had Caucasian blood, I would be proud of it,but did you ever look at the Caucasus Mountains…pretty small area…and not for something completely different. Black & White as racial terms only go back to the first half of the 18th Century,as racial terms although they were used as descriptive terms. Herodotus thought the Ethiopians were really sun burned. The white as snow thing is at least heavily linked to Celtic and Teutonic aristocrats, and other. Some people can’t be in the sun for more than 5 minutes without suffering,… blisters, extreme pain, etc., etc. So the circle goes round. Part of the solution is to dump the color coding. Only a few racialist schools still name their teams, the ‘Fighting Sioux’,or some such name. If the Indians do want to be call red, don’t do it,and I have yet to meet an Asian that wants to be called yellow. I would say screw the census, and anyone that wants to play the race card. If we could just get past this color thing, we too could ‘climb to the mountain top.’ It has to happen, or, the blood that was shed here, and if you add North, South,Central America, and the Caribbean together, We are conservatively speaking of well over 250,000,000 (yes, more that 250million). I have seen it all too clearly. This site is important in it’s own way. It is one of the paths to peace, for forming relationships, be it for dating, love, or friendship is so important. I want to leave with a small but huge misunderstanding. In Iraq, our troops stop cars at checkpoints by raising up their hand and holding it up. Among many of the Arabs, and most in that region, that means hello friend, how are you. And the soldier keeps their hand up, because nobody bothered to tell them this simple fact. If you want someone to stop, you make a slashing movement with your arm and hand, parallel to the ground. It is the same story. Of course they didn’t stop, and so thousands of families lost members. All based on a misunderstanding. And how many of those joined the resistance ? Who know, but that we too paid in blood. It is long past the time for us to make peace, make love, make lasting friends. It took nearly two years for me to win the heart of my Abah, may peace be upon him. But, then he took me to his heart, treating me like his eldest son. I believe that we can do the same. The least we can do is try, and if someone gives you looks. Turn to them, look them level in the eye, smile and nod to them. Maybe they will lose their fear. Go in peace.
Comment by TricciNicci on 22 October 2009:
Hey Arcadia,
Sending you a shout out for love and peace! Sorry I’ve been busy, but saw your post a few days ago in the midst of a family crisis. Though I didn’t have time to respond then I’d like to thank you for reaching out as a kindred spirit. I am happy to welcome you and am encouraged to know others who desire to reflect upon the world a True spirit that is of original love. If we could all grow that, one person at a time bringing all of our true gifts to God, not one that is copied or feigned…well, what a beautiful world this would be.
Namaste and Blessings Arcadia. You will always find a friend here if ever in need.
Comment by TricciNicci on 22 October 2009:
“ryan…i think you have identity issues.”
~ Violet
_______________________
Violet,
Have you ever been to Louisiana? New Orleans particularly? I don’t think Ryan has an identity issue unless 85% of the folks in his state do as well. If you have never witnessed the effects of a melting pot metaphor, you should visit New Orleans. That state has more blond haired, blue eyed, fair toned black folks than the man in the moon, lol!
Now I’m no expert, but have been, seen and know the complexities that have created such a melting pot it is hard to decipher racially and genetically who is who. The shame is with such high mixtures of genetics and bloodlines the state is as racially fraught as it remains. On one visit during a trip to Mississippi, we stopped at a local drug store near downtown. We were given henious looks by the older “pure blood” caucasians for being patrons in their store! I ignored them, enjoyed my shopping experience so their envy fell flat, lol.
Ryan is identifying with culture just as much (probably more) than race. Not to suggest you don’t know your history, but there is a reason why cornrow styles are sometimes called “French braids”. There are things about cultures that can be adopted or even revived in the experience of self or the sharing of culture.
What is it about Ryan which makes you believe he is struggling with identity issues? You don’t think he appreciates his own culture or just over appreciates his euphoric blending of Louisiana’s African based culture? I’m very interested to learn your perspective.
Comment by Sen on 23 October 2009:
I’m so late to the party but just wanted to say to thanks to faerydust, Ichibod and budgiegirl for their replies. I’m glad you got what I was trying to say and can relate to it.
Comment by tatted2death on 27 October 2009:
I sooo appreciate your outlook, Tricci…but (if you were referring to me as “other blogger”) I was joking about the whole “misfit club” thing…..sort of an oxymoron don’t ya think….LOL.
I have “blood” cousins that look “whiter” than Ryan so I really don’t know what Violet is talking about…LOL. Like I have said before…NO ONE CAN TELL YOU HOW TO BE YOU.
Peace and Blessings
tatted2death
Comment by TricciNicci on 27 October 2009:
Hello Tatted,
And I yours. You make me laugh and have such fluency with words and descriptives. I just picked up on your use of the word pertaining to the conversation. I think it was a good view of the point to explore. I have a poem I plan to present at Poetry Night later on tonight I think you may relate to. Won’t you join us? I know you have beautiful, flowing words in a tablet somewhere, lol! Pull them out and join us on the ‘why white guys love black women’ or something like that thread. Love to hear from you.
Comment by tatted2death on 28 October 2009:
Thanks for the invite, Tricci…I’ll have to give that a thought.
Peace
Comment by TricciNicci on 28 October 2009:
Sure Tatted, you’re not to far behind the postings from yesterday and today. Hope you got to read some of them over there in the blog everyone seems to be following closely these days, lol! I wrote a few, Az had some great, deeply pondering ones I’ve gone back and reread. Dee did her thing very nicely and Sara gave us her blessing. There were a few more like the sampling we got from SEwilde. Great stuff so check it out if you haven’t already. I love poetry and your writing abilities suggest you may have laid down a few verses, lol…still only if you want to share. I understand.
Comment by MOONDOGGIE on 1 November 2009:
I MUST SAY I LIKE BLACK LADIES.BEEN WITH ONE FOR 5 YEARS NOW.NO regret just love for each other.We dont see color like most people do.I’m white ,left my wife for her,and my family,have no kids.ALL i have is her.NO one can tell us were wrong.Sure people talk and stare.I like it.Because we did what they would like to do,but can’T. WHY the way people look at them and talk.She is my sweets and i’M HER BABY,WE OUR VERY HAPPY WITH OUR LIFE. WE have black AND white FRIENDS.And others,so whats the big deal here,tell me.
Comment by dezme on 1 November 2009:
The young generation does not care about this crap, so it baffles me as to why you all still talk about it!
Most white guys like polished, classy, sexy,real hair that flows or not too afro sentric, or weave that looks natural, an hour glass shape, not obease girls that say they are thick and natural look in black women! I would consider myself polished;what racist old ppl consider and oreo! The loud ghettoness is a turn off to everyone and start approaching guys, have fun and stop caring about what race thinks your hot! If your hot your hot!
Oh ex of polished women for those who dont know: Keri Hilson, Stacy Dash, Niami Cambell, Jayde Nicole,they are polished and you can be too(dont have to be a celebrity to look good) high quality black women
Comment by mixi on 8 November 2009:
It’s a matter of fact that most african american women tend to be a little on the bombastic “LOUD” end of the spectrum. They’re “ready-to-blow-up-any-second” attitude is just a turnoff to many caucasian men who prefer more feminine attributes. African american women also tend to create scenes everywhere they go for no apparent reason other than to get some need attention (probably attention they’re missing in their love life or bedroom life). But that still does not explain why white caucasian women would die for a black man. Most of the mixed encounters I’ve noticed are between a african-american male and a white caucasian female. Maybe black men prefer the color of white women in bed ;).
Comment by Triccinicci on 9 November 2009:
Mixi,
I soooooo get your name! It’s a shortened moniker for “mixed up”. It truly should be “Igni”. Short for ‘ignorant’. Of course, you know I state that in the sweetest and gentlest manner possible. I myself am of African decent and realize the “DEAFENING” ignorance that is louder than any voice could gain decibled volume in creating such putridity falling from your brain.
My, my, my what books have you read and how large is your world? One or two streets down from K-Mart? Must you really watch that much television? Don’t you think all those stereotypes are distorting your thinking? From the perception of your writing, you’d think non-African’s were angels falling from heaven with hefty bank accounts and maids made in position of those you feel beneath you.
It really bothers intelligent, disciplined people when bombastic, persons of vast ineptitude prevents simple, ordinary folk from co-relating with others in fairness. You are such a person. Exclusive of what you think humanity should accept and not inclusive to what and who humanity actually encompasses.
I mean what must those women you are refering to think about your inability to see yourself as a person? I’m sure they must be simply trying to ’scream’ logic into your head about such noble concepts as ‘fairness’ and ‘equality’. Come on Mixi, mix it up a bit! You be you and don’t worry or try to strong herd the rest!
My suggestion would be to move into a neighborhood where the neighbors aren’t so culturally spun, loud, or aggressive. Obviously you living there doesn’t “help” the neighborhood to “come up”. So come on, what do you really expect? Now if you are thinking about moving out of the neighborhood where you have exclusive contact and observation enough to sound off on “matters-of-fact”, I suggest as well, you don’t trade ‘up’ for the trailer park, where mainly hard working white folks are being perturbed by lack of work (a good address can make a difference)- oh hell - forget the breakdown as you’ve not much sense to understand anyway. The point being, there is a consequence and direct comparison of loud, disruptive, obnoxious behavior in any environment where stress factors are heightened…For all we know you may be the loud, obnoxious, scene creating type since that’s all you’ve written to intimately about.
Why tell on yourself?
Comment by EuroSWM4SBF on 18 November 2009:
Hi I am new to the site and didn’t apparently get the memo I am not supposed find black women attractive….sighhhhh.
But seriously depending on where you live and such determine your available “IR” dating pool. Try being a whitish guy in San Antonio, TX who only dates black women….talk about a challenge compared to say VA or CA.
I have a simple philosophy which goes as follows: I think black women are the most attractive women on the planet (the attitude helps) so why should I not date the most attractive women on the planet?
Why should I care how many young black men and old white couples stare? LOL
Comment by turnaround27 on 18 November 2009:
NO, attraction has nothing to do with why fewer White men date Black women. Genetically speaking, “attaction” is what allows our species to continue…..that said, it would be like an oximoron. ( I know, I didnt spell that right…lol)
AND, even if a White man “felt” attracted to a Black women I believe he would be the least likely to respond to it ( like , try to get her number, go on a date, etc….).I think for white men, their ego and pride even today wont let them…..please know I am NOT talking about the exceptions here. THere are exceptions to EVERY rule ,as proved here, this site for those who color out of the box….BUT I think DEEP in a White man’s head , even today, he still feels like Black people are subservient …It’ll take another 100 years before the gene pool is diluted enough for it not to matter any more…..
Peace…..
Comment by dezme on 18 November 2009:
Hey Mixi, I guess you did not understand what I text the first time. It has nonthing to do with skin complexion, but the way you carry your self . PS not that many black men date outside of race because white is right, just because they want something different! But you are right to, white men do love feminie women, thats probabley why they go with asian women. Does that mean that Asian are better than whites? No race is better than another, but it means they like them due to feminity and difference. Also, lets stop giving sexy black women evil looks when you see her with a fineeeee asss white boy, who is not ghetto. And when she looks better than you and your boy friend is staring at her dont get mad. To them vagina has no color, just the sterotypes that make them cautious! Not saying that you do that, but there are allot of hypocrites out there. Interracial dating is coo its something different.
Comment by ErzulieRedEyes on 19 November 2009:
And the “Ghetto” stereotype is getting old.
Don’t see why white people keep saying blacks are ghetto and that’s why they don’t like them,
when white men pay big money to pick up the first poor white woman they can find in Eastern Europe.
They don’t like ghetto women? Oh is that why white men flock to The Ukraine Russia and Srbija every year to marry some poor white lady living in a wasteland? (Unless you live in a rich area its ghetto over there.)
Lets get real, white people think poverty is ok as long as its white people in the poor area.
But if you are black and living in a poor area then white people label you as being “ghetto.”
If you are white and from a poor area then white people butter you up and call you “simple” and “humble” and “down to earth.”
Whites can throw as many stereotypes they like my way but the largest ghetto in the world belongs to Russia, white people, go see for yourself.
Comment by bigeyes31 on 19 November 2009:
@Redeyes
Hey, you are on roll! LOL. I personally think we should bar whites from that term. They use it to substitute for the N word. They label ALL blacks who are the least bit verbal or outspoken as ghetto. I think they fling that term around too loosely for my taste.
Comment by ErzulieRedEyes on 20 November 2009:
Comment by bigeyes31 on 19 November 2009:
@Redeyes
Hey, you are on roll! LOL. I personally think we should bar whites from that term. They use it to substitute for the N word. They label ALL blacks who are the least bit verbal or outspoken as ghetto. I think they fling that term around too loosely for my taste.”
Yep white men love to call us ghetto but they don’t mind going overseas and marrying the poor white trash from eastern europe.
Comment by Howington Adelle on 28 November 2009:
Hi people, it’s Thanksgiving Day! I’m happy with my extra day off, and I am planning to make something fun that’ll probably involve a moto trip and seeing something new in Pulaski I haven’t seen yet.
You write something new at Thanksgiving?
Comment by MOONDOGGIE on 4 December 2009:
I see some of u just don’t like white people,why?BECAUSE U R NOT HAPPY WITH ur LIFE.U used the N word,or white trash,we don’t call each other white trash,like u call each other nigger.Why is that? Do we have something u want?I just wish u could try to have a better outlook on things,stop living in the past,this is 2010.Befor u judge a race,take sometime to look at ur selfe,and say,is this the real me.Stop taking note of what other people say.My girlfriend is black,real black,we don’t talk like that .Maybe u should try to get some class,and control what u say.THAT’S A REAL LADY AND A BEAUTIFUL ONE AT THAT,AND TRY TO LOVE EVERYBODY.U will fell much better about ur self ,BIGEYES.
Comment by bigeyes31 on 4 December 2009:
@Moondoggie
Your attempt at being an armchair psychologist/psychaitrist is laughable at best. You start your point off with an accusation about how the “blame” rest with black people and then become the TYPICAL white racist who swears he isn’t,LOL. This is WHY you can give an “armchair” diagnosis of how I feel about myself. LOL. I think you need to write your FIRST prescription to yourself. I STILL stand by what I said before, whites should not be allowed to use the term “ghetto” because it used as “safe” racist word. We have taken derogatory terms that “you” have given us and tried to take some of the sting out of it by endearing it the best we could. “YOU” might have a black girlfriend but you DON’T know anything about black people,LOL.
Peace(but I won’t be stopped)
Comment by MOONDOGGIE on 4 December 2009:
Yes the word ghetto,should be removed.But the more u press,the more it will be used,so let it go it will vanish like everything eles.But then again,it will be something eles,and so,so.I wish u would not judge me,i’m not RACIST.Idon’t speak to u that way,if i did i’m sorry.I’m just trying to gain ur respect on this matter that’s all. U have to remember that all people are not up to ur level,just don’t know anybetter.MOST people say things they don’t mean,but yet the hurt still remains,and the healing takes for ever.p.s ur a nice looking lady.
Comment by Ichibod on 6 December 2009:
The word “ghetto” is used to describe specific living conditions originally derived from the place where Jews where housed during the holocaust. The term was then used to described living conditions of poor and low income blacks. However, I don’t care who uses the word. I just wish blacks would stop using it to describe everything that we do. As soon as a black person gets some money, they start calling it “ghetto fabulous”? People who never lived in the projects are using this crap to label themselves, even after they move out of their regular hood which probably wasn’t even “ghetto”. Endearing negativity is the worst idea ever. Would you say endering the negative labels given to us is similar to why the highschool drop out rate amongst blacks is so high seeing as it was illegal for slaves owners to teach slaves how to read and write and punishable by death if a slave were ever to learn? Or because slave women gave birth to many children by different men and slave men fathered many children by different women for breeding purposes is why black single parent households should be acceptable to this day? See how crazy that sounds. Sure, I use the ‘N’ word, and I even joke about white people from time to time with my close friends (most of whom are white) and family, but not all out in the open. Trying to use a word as a term of endearment means that it’s personal. And like most personal things, they are kept in private, simliar to an inside joke, something that no one understands but the parties involved. Like I heard this girl tell me back in high school, “Keep the flavor with the flavor”. Dr Poussaint said, the same word blacks use as a term of endearment, is the same word they use when their killing each other. Let’s get real. The only traditions derived from negativity that I openly hold true to is Thanksgiving and Christmas. Because the reason for those now are undeniable and far from the purpose of their original practices. And those are words I’m happy to hear anyone use. Happy holidays, folks!
Comment by bigeyes31 on 6 December 2009:
Ichibod
I have to disagree with endearing certain terms and practicing as the worst idea ever. Endearing certain terms was a matter of survival. In the days of slavery, slave owners would feed the slaves the worst leftovers after slaughtering a hog. The slave took what was meant to be derogatory and made a delacacy from it. I speak of a traditional food called chitterlings. Now, not every black person eats them but they are apart of many black families’ tradition, served at Thanksgiving and Christmas. Whites especially southern whites now enjoy this delacacy. “Pot liquor”, the stock that was left from boiling the vegetables, namely collard greens was also fed to the slaves as the leftovers the slave owners didn’t want, but this is where all the vitamins and minerals were. So, just like the N word, down throughout history, the practice of endearing certain things that were meant to hurt as a survival mechanism, has just passed down generation after generation. It’s called taking a bad situation and making it work for you.
The drop out rate has to do with parents not instilling the value of education in their children and allowing outside influences to rear their children and nothing more. It’s about character and point of view. Using these terms are a private matter and when used by other races, in my opinion, have a different connotation. Certain characteristics of behavior and speech that are described as common to most people who live or have been reared in the ghetto seem to be attributed to EVERY black person who is outspoken or challenges white ideology. It is this lumping by whites of all blacks who even open their mouths in any protest that I find offensive and racist.
Peace
Comment by bigeyes31 on 6 December 2009:
@Moondoggie
If blacks would have stopped pressing we wouldn’t have the freedoms we have today. If we had stopped pressing, whites would still be using the N word as freely as they had in the past. If we stopped pressing we would not be able to equally obtain an education. So no, letting it go is not an option for most blacks. We are still pressing to survive and prosper above poverty,drugs, violence and pressing to keep our voice as a people powerful.
Thank you for the compliment
Peace
Comment by Ichibod on 6 December 2009:
Hey, Bigeyes!
How was your turkey, ham, and chittlin’ fixins? Speaking of “soul food”, and yes chitterlings are delicious, that stuff is bad for us, and in this day and time, not our only source or option for nutrition. Eat in moderation is what any doctor will tell you, if at all. I remember an episode of “Good Times” where JJ and Thelma tried to get Florida to understand that when James’s cholesterol level was high. What parents fail to instill in children comes from either being stupid and uncaring or having the lack of knowledge and access to information, which even after 5 or more generations still carry over from slavery. This includes eating, studying, and social habits. Why ARE some black people so loud? Go to the projects and see how many “outspoken” people are actually saying anything relevant. Most terms that are used by whites were heard by blacks first. A black person was the one who referred to poor living conditions of blacks in the US as “ghetto” around the time of the holocaust in order prevent attention from being diverted to problems overseas when problems existed here at home. I’m sure no Jews were throwing up their ghettos with as much pride and fervor as some blacks do. There are certain ideologies that should be challenged, however many people can’t seem to differentiate which are white and which are merely right, which in turn has them challenging everything, hence sounding foolish and making a name for themselves. Believe me, I know exactly how to pronounce the “er” when using that one word to describe a black person who should just keep their mouth shut. And I don’t mean it in a nice way or to help a person survive whenever I do. Bill Cosby questioned blacks who call intelligent blacks “white”. Remember what all Denzel’s character was saying in the movie “Glory”? Many blacks today share those same sentiments about achieving blacks. Nothing endearing about that. Except for what Morgan Freeman’s character had to say as a response. “The only nigger here is YOU!”
I don’t blame a person for not seeing the importance of getting an education, however I know better. W.E.B DuBois had many degrees but still couldn’t get a job. So he saw no other option but to press. Booker T Washington was striving for equality even if it had to be seperate so we could do our own thing agriculturally, academically, industrially, and financialy. A man who evidently saw that there WERE other options. That’s why they didn’t like each other. DuBois felt that Washington was soft for not forcing whites to accept us, whereas Washington received millions from wealthy whites to build schools seeing as though he was even willing to say “screw the right to vote” if necessary in order for us to be left alone to grow by ourselves. It’s all in the past now and I appreciate whatever anyone has done for us to live as we can and do today. I, for one, am still a Booker T visionary. I choose not to press any white person, or anyone else for that matter, for anything accept any respect I am due, not deserve (people love to go on about what they think they deserve or are entitled to). Seeing that it is almost 2010, it’s kind of late to boast freedoms I didn’t have to suffer for, but yet and still, proper responses are based on convictions rather than circumstances. Allowing certain situiations rather than morals determine actions show a lack of integerity. “A double minded man is unstable in all of his ways”.
I enjoyed reading your post as always, Natalie. We are just going to have to agree to disagree on this issue. You now have me wanting to set some time aside to clean some chitterlings. And you know how much time that takes. See ya!
Comment by bigeyes31 on 6 December 2009:
Hey Ichibod
I didn’t eat much Thanksgiving food THIS year,LOL. I can only eat so much of it before I get tired of it, too rich. I personally don’t eat chitterlings but my mom DID cook some, LOL. I hope your holiday was great.
My great-grandmother who was one hundred years in March of last year is a living breathing reminder of the freedoms I have. She encourages me to be proud and protective of the freedoms that she marched in the actual civil rights march to gain for me. With that I believe ,along with all black people, that we have a right to boast about freedoms that we enjoy, after all,whites are still enjoying and boasting of the benefits of their forefathers. The worst thing we can do as black people in this country is start believing that we don’t have to still press to maintain the freedoms we do have. With all the success, degrees and jobs that black men and women have in this country, they will tell you that everyday they have to press to be respected,to get their voices heard and be treated eaually on those very jobs. And if they voice any unhappiness about it, they are termed “ghetto” or “angry”. So, I still say whites use these as a blanket term because they are not readily able to use the N word socially. I feel that is a duty to boast about what my forefathers suffered to get for me.
Well, Ichibod I have always read your posts. You are quite intelligent! You know I know how long it takes,LOL LOL. Hot sauce or mustard? LOL LOL
Comment by RYAN on 10 December 2009:
i didn’t even know that some whites use the word “ghetto” in a derogatory way. i dont think any less of people of any race that are poor, or have a ghetto swagger or attitude, regardless of their income.
Comment by Africa on 10 December 2009:
This isn’t about you Ryan its about how white women are looked at and yes my boyfriend is Black…they are so quick to just us and oh my god they don’t even know us. I’m not from the ghetto and I don’t choose to go there, but yea the mall maybe. Bitches are haters. I’m just me and that’s that.
Comment by Africa on 10 December 2009:
You have your funny…What is that?
Comment by Timotheus on 10 December 2009:
Interesting… perhaps statistically white males are least attracted to black females… I don’t know… I haven’t seen enough data to know one way or the other.
However, I’m as Caucasian as you can get… English/Scottish and blue blood no less. The most beautiful women I’ve ever met were African American and I find them quite attractive in ways that other races just don’t stir me. The most beautiful of those I’ve known have all the attributes of how I envision our mother, Eve… the perfect women. She embodies all those things that Solomon wrote in his Song of Songs. She is the Shulamite.
Well anyway, I happened upon your forum by accident searching for one of my old posts in a music forum, and just had to chime in.
Cheers
Comment by Stacey Brewer on 15 December 2009:
I would have to agree with Timotheus that there are just as many beautiful African-American women as there are white women. However I find myself attracted to white or other races of women in ways that other races don’t get it as well. I think it is starting to show an increase of the number of white males who are really into black women. As for Maggie who made an earlier comment on the reason why black men date outside of their race there is a lot of truth to that statement but the same holds true for anyone as well. To get RESPECT you must also give RESPECT and I think that is where many (not all of them) black male/female relationships can fall apart. My attraction to white or non-black women is merely a matter of personal choice and not based on the stereotypes or prejudices at all. As for me opposites attract and I cannot speak for all black men on here, but it seems to be with me a definite factor in interracial relationships. It doesn’t bother me to see a black women with a white man or a white woman with a non-black man, to each their own.
Comment by truth and maths on 17 December 2009:
There is a very real need to not have endlees words rather than works,here to blacks with blue eyes ,blonde hair 50 eye colours ,60 hair colours,why should awhite man give up ever thing he is ,yet a black gives up very little,this is noy equity this is being a white male slave to black women,GENETIC ENGINEERING IS THE FUTURE OF RACE RELATIONS
Comment by GodzSpecialDaughter on 7 January 2010:
Whoa so much said and so much to say. I think race should be the LAST thing you look at in a relationship. I live in a city with mostly haspanics and asians. Though you do see alot of black people and some white people. My city is filled with different races and I just love seeing it. People happy together no matter what. My boyfriend is white and I’m black and I really love him. It’s pretty normal to see different races where I come from. I’m just so suprised to see all of these comments. Some of them making a big thing out of nothing. I just stumble across this website and never expected to see this. When I seen the image I thought “Aww they look so cute”. You have to admit they do look great together even though it’s just a picture. Both of their skin looks great and they’re both gorgous. “Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world. Brown,and yellow,black,and white. Days of precious many sights. Jesus loves the little children of the world.” Thats all I had to say. My name is Alazia and I’m Christian. God bless
Comment by Wg110212 on 28 January 2010:
As I was reading the responses, many of you have some very valid points and some of you are insecure or as some have said afraid.
I am a 40-year old black woman married to a 42-year old white man and believe me when I tell you he is all man. My “buns” as I call him because he has a nice butt, I know TMI, is from the old school. He opens doors, and gives gifts just because. If you all could see peoples expressions when he reaches his hand towards me to help me in and out of the car. We get a good laugh at the looks that we receive.
Because almost everyone here does not have an issue with skin color, I say this to you all; do not stop looking gentlemen. I say gentlemen because I too am a Christian and it is true, “A man that finds a wife finds a good thing and she is a blessing from the Lord.”
Women of color, stay white and white men stay black.
Comment by julius26 on 30 January 2010:
Dear Wg 110212 if people do what you recommend, that is Women of colour, stay white and white men stay black, then there will be no more white men or black women being born. God blessed you with a white man but not with brains.
Comment by Ichibod on 30 January 2010:
Thank you, Julius. You just saved me a page worth of typing with that. Her following the title “Christian” with that line of stupidity had me perplexed for a second.
Comment by Julius26 and Ichibod on 30 January 2010:
Why the harsh words gentlemen?
“God blessed you with a white man, but not with brains?” First, my IQ is 146, but that has nothing to do with my comment. Second, because this is a site for those in or seeking to date outside of their race, it would not stop white men and black women from being born. The comment is only being read by those that come to this site. Therefore, are you thnking about the entire human race or just those who are interested in dating/marrying someone of a different race? My comment is what it is and I stand by what I said.
It was not stupid, Ichibod, YOU just did not understand it. So, say that you did not understand it and ask for an explaination. One of the reasons that people in general have such a hard time finding the “right one” is not being able to communicate effectively. Yes, that’s right, it is not just about communicating, but communicating effectively. Again, I did not realize that I needed to explain to individuals that are looking for relationships with those of another race on a website for interacial dating/couples, about staying with their chosen preference. That is why I made the comment, “Women of color, stay white and white men stay black.” The comment has nothing to do with the humanrace as a whole, but those that are looking/dating individuals of another race. The comment was meant to encourage people to stick with their choice. I know about the pressures of being in an interacial marriage, but it is just like any other relationship. It takes work to make it work.
Granted everyone that comes to this site speaks their mind; however, why not just ask for an explanation instead of being insulting. I can tell you this gentlemen, from a woman’s perspective, we can see a nice looking guy and maybe even approach him, but the turn off is when he opens his mouth and says something stupid or insulting.
Ichibod, do you have a problem with Christians? “Thank you, Julius. You just saved me a page worth of typing with that. Her following the title “Christian” with that line of stupidity had me perplexed for a second.” What is the deal? Being a Christian means that I have the ability to go boldly before the throne of God and ask for forgiveness. There was a popular song a few years ago titled, “We fall down, but we get up.” That is the life of a Christian. We strive to do what the Bible instructs us to do, but we are human and make mistakes. We just have the ability to ask for forgiveness from God. If you are not a Christian, then you will never understand what I just said, thus don’t strain your brain.
Perhaps it was the scripture that I quoted, ” He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” -Proverbs 18:22 New American Standard. I apologize for not citing the scripture and paraphrasing it. However, as I was reading various comments, I find many are looking for encouragement as well as advice. I wanted to give encouragement to those that are tired and asking themselves, “Will I ever find her or him?”
Yes you will, in time!
Comment by Wg110212 on 30 January 2010:
Julius26 and Ichibod
Why the harsh words gentlemen?
“God blessed you with a white man, but not with brains?” First, my IQ is 146, but that has nothing to do with my comment. Second, because this is a site for those in or seeking to date outside of their race, it would not stop white men and black women from being born. The comment is only being read by those that come to this site. Therefore, are you thnking about the entire human race or just those who are interested in dating/marrying someone of a different race? My comment is what it is and I stand by what I said.
It was not stupid, Ichibod, YOU just did not understand it. So, say that you did not understand it and ask for an explaination. One of the reasons that people in general have such a hard time finding the “right one” is not being able to communicate effectively. Yes, that’s right, it is not just about communicating, but communicating effectively. Again, I did not realize that I needed to explain to individuals that are looking for relationships with those of another race on a website for interacial dating/couples, about staying with their chosen preference. That is why I made the comment, “Women of color, stay white and white men stay black.” The comment has nothing to do with the humanrace as a whole, but those that are looking/dating individuals of another race. The comment was meant to encourage people to stick with their choice. I know about the pressures of being in an interacial marriage, but it is just like any other relationship. It takes work to make it work.
Granted everyone that comes to this site speaks their mind; however, why not just ask for an explanation instead of being insulting. I can tell you this gentlemen, from a woman’s perspective, we can see a nice looking guy and maybe even approach him, but the turn off is when he opens his mouth and says something stupid or insulting.
Ichibod, do you have a problem with Christians? “Thank you, Julius. You just saved me a page worth of typing with that. Her following the title “Christian” with that line of stupidity had me perplexed for a second.” What is the deal? Being a Christian means that I have the ability to go boldly before the throne of God and ask for forgiveness. There was a popular song a few years ago titled, “We fall down, but we get up.” That is the life of a Christian. We strive to do what the Bible instructs us to do, but we are human and make mistakes. We just have the ability to ask for forgiveness from God. If you are not a Christian, then you will never understand what I just said, thus don’t strain your brain.
Perhaps it was the scripture that I quoted, ” He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” -Proverbs 18:22 New American Standard. I apologize for not citing the scripture and paraphrasing it. However, as I was reading various comments, I find many are looking for encouragement as well as advice. I wanted to give encouragement to those that are tired and asking themselves, “Will I ever find her or him?”
Yes you will, in time!
Comment by Ichibod on 30 January 2010:
Wg110212,
This is a public blog and all visitors are welcome. It’s obvious you are a visitor and have no idea who I am and what I stand for by your question, “Ichibod, do you have a problem with Christians?” Who I am, apart from being ‘Ichibod’, is irrelevant as no one here who knows Ichibod actually knows who Ichibod is outside of this blog, just as I know Julius26 by web handle only.
The motto, creed, purpose, or tagline of this site reads, “Where it’s OK the color outside the lines…”. Advising a person to stand by their preferences sounds a lot better than, “black, stay white; white, stay black” considering their ARE other races, on this site and in the world.
“The comment is only being read by those that come to this site. Therefore, are you thnking about the entire human race or just those who are interested in dating/marrying someone of a different race?”
Many people who come to this site join as basic or premium members, most with various levels of interracial dating experience and/or curiosities behind. But you, just as many others that have merely COME to this DATING site are not members, only bloggers. Which brings to question, how did you find this site? Being already MARRIED to a white man and finding a DATING site, not to mention an INTERRACIAL dating site would make one wonder if there may be insecurities or shame that would lead you to a Google, Yahoo, or BING search engine to see what others have to say about interracial relationships as though you haven’t move on with your own life’s preferences, choices, decisions, gifts and blessings. Not to mention, what brought you to “White men are least attracted to Black women?” and not comment on the topic at hand. I’ve only seen one person speak of their interracial relationship and actually invite their loved one to participate in discussions on this site’s blogs. They both are very well known and respected in these threads now.
“I know about the pressures of being in an interacial marriage…”
So, is that why you’re REALLY here? Viewing this site as some support group therapy session under the guise of encouraging it’s members when they could just as easily signed up with Match.com or eHarmony if interracial dating wasn’t already their option or preference.
Let me show you something, WG. “I can tell you this gentlemen (ma’am), from a woman’s (man’s) perspective, we can see a nice looking guy (lady) and maybe even approach him (her), but the turn off is when he (she) opens his (her) mouth and says something stupid or insulting.” No real point to that. I just did it for fun.
Much of the problem that Julius26 and I have with your statement is that previous comments much like it insinuate a limited or narrow scope regarding race relations in many areas of life up to and including dating. Especially as black people, seeing many interracial relationships between black women and white men develope out of superficial reasons has become an epidemic and an extremely sensative topic of debate in these blogs. I am a Christian, also. And reading a comment by someone who professes themself as a Christian, knowing the life of Christ and the mind of God trandscends such unimaginative reasoning, just didn’t sit well with me. Maybe ’stupidity’ was a little harsh, and I apologize. Sorry, I’m not a Donnie Mcclurkin fan. There is no need to paraphrase Proverbs 18:22, I understand that perfectly. It just doesn’t support any intention you claimed by your post except your own selfrighteous belief that your husband found “a good thing”. And maybe he did. To each his/her own.
And lastly, to further answer your question:
“Ichibod, do you have a problem with Christians?”
As a Christian, yes I do. What Christian doesn’t have a problem with other Christians. I apologize for not citing the scriptures and examples to expound on that answer, but you should already know. I’ve already typed more than I wanted to.
Goodbye!
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 31 January 2010:
(Man stepping in between Ich and Wg110212)
What Christianity got to do with dating “different races of women”.
Even the bible mentions “heathen women”. That can be interpreted in different ways. Since society is clearly favors “white people”, heathen women were always attributed to the darker skin races like Hispanic, Arabian and black women. White Supremacists in the South never started letting black people go to their church until a couple decades ago. Come to think of it, they sure didn’t tolerate black women with white men.
Your reading scripture and “ignoring” history as most white people do. I got nothing against white folks but lets get the facts straight here.
If anybody should ask for forgiveness is those white churches that didn’t accept black people. Churches continue to be self segregated to this day. Black churches welcome white folks so what is the problem?
NOW you got a fetish for black women and want ” to hold hands with ALL black people. Yea right, just that black woman you have a fetish with. You rather avoid her extended family like the plague.
How about you put your bible down and tell the truth. A majority of black women you would never be with BECAUSE they are, either, overweight, uneducated or “under educated”, have to many kids, or live in a rough part of the black community due to the recession.
But your so benevolent to explain scripture and select the “best looking black women” for your enjoyment with NO intention of marrying them. That is so nice of you. It’s similar to tying up your dog in the house, giving the dog water, food and shelter but never taking the dog outside.
You ever did that to my daughter. I would rather die with a BIG GUN!
You are getting over on those weak minded desperate sellout black women. But I see what you are doing.
I am gone.
Comment by Ichibod on 31 January 2010:
Laurelton,
I am having a hard time understanding what you are saying. The first of which is:
“How about you put your bible down and tell the truth.”
When we as Christians (Psalms 119:128) “… esteem all your precepts concerning all things to be right; and I hate every false way”, (2 Timtohy 2:15) “Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth”, and (2 Corinthians 4:2) “But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, NOR HANDLING THE WORD OF GOD DECEITFULLY; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man’s conscience in the sight of God.”
After the earlier discussion in that other thread, I’m having a hard time understanding why and how YOU are calling yourself a Christian, which explains how I answered WG’s question.
Society or the world does not dictate the Word of God. Everyone’s different perceptions and interpretations cannot change God’s one and only infallible truth. It’s like placing an apple seed in the ground. A man comes and says, “I’m from Georgia, so I reckon that seed gonna to grow into to a nice peach tree”. Another man comes and says, “I think it’s going to sprout a watermelon vine, cause you know black people love some watermelon.” Lastly, another guy goes, “Dude, just let me know when it buds. Call me at 4:15 and I’ll be there in 5.” Doesn’t change the fact that the seed was a APPLE seed.
We ALL fall short of God’s glory and require forgiveness. As if there are no blacks that don’t like or accept whites, hispanics, even Africans and other black Americans. Oohh, it’s a tragedy whites wouldn’t let blacks in the churches, schools, or own land, but blacks killing each other, selling poison to one another, and disrespecting each other on a blog or otherwise fall under the radar. I study history, how about YOU stop ignoring the PRESENT. I’ve this before and I’ll say it again. “Bill Cosby is a hero of mine!
Ephesians 6:12 says, “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” The seeds of prejudice, hate, hypocracy, lust, idolatry, and deceit lie all around us and can manifest themselves in all people in the same manner and have throughout history. Just what does one consider history? A mere chapter in a book, or that and the events of yesterday, last week, and a year ago?
Then you tell Fire, “Me personally, I have always been with darker women. I got no fetishes or preferences”, “My preference a “thicker” woman with thighs and a big butt. Skin color doesn’t matter to me” and “You go were you are accepted.” You are against interracial dating aren’t you? Explain that preference please. I’m willing to give you the benefit of a doubt, brother. Are you sure you know exactly who you were typing that last post to?
Here’s where I will end this and I saw this coming a long time ago and was hoping it wouldn’t have come to this, but I had been watching the seed you had planted between Bigeyes and Tatted. Now, it finally came to a head which is why I had beseeched them both subtly to stop it. I also asked you TWICE to stick to what you do best, as religion and faith are obviously not your bag. You stated before that you don’t argue with men. Keep believing in that. Put your faith and beliefs where your mouth is and stay away from me. I backed you againgst that PhDee prick many months ago, but let me assure you I am a totally different game than that ‘he-she’. If you haven’t been living under a rock, people have been waiting for you and me for a long time and I have no plans to oblige them.
Again, I am a given you the benefit of a doubt that you did not intend that last post for me.
Be WISE and be blessed, brother!
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 31 January 2010:
Dear Ich
Bill Cosby is your hero. He is not my hero. Simply for this reason, he contributed to the degrading of black people with Fat Albert. He did the black exploitation films. He landed the Bill Cosby show after the first “pilot” failed. The Bill Cosby show is his title to fame. The Negro ain’t saying nothing until 2008 0r 2009, when things went from bad to worse. He was to busy with his various mistresses.
I can’t go toe to toe with you concerning scripture. Scripture can be interpreted so many ways. Now if we was to apply scripture in the present. You say you are a christian, as I am. Pat Robertson said Haiti is “cursed”. I can’t remember what scripture he used. But he said that.
My premise is would it better for France to “colonize the Haitians”. Basically what Pat is saying ‘well if you let us control you”, you wouldn’t be in this mess now.
My question is how do you explain this contradiction?
Do you take what the bible says “literally”?
As for black people doing criminality to one another, I agree with you.
But let’s look at the Haiti situation or even Katrina. People were looting and maiming each other for a piece of bread or some water. Put yourself in that position and try to understand why people do what they do. Your sympathy is towards Haiti, for what reason? The people are committing crimes to survive.
Why wouldn’t that be the same in Black America? Your going to say “oh you have plenty of opportunities” to succeed. If people don’t realize that, in particular young black people. They will continue to take the risks to commit crimes.
“Then you tell Fire, “Me personally, I have always been with darker women. I got no fetishes or preferences”, “My preference a “thicker” woman with thighs and a big butt. Skin color doesn’t matter to me” and “You go were you are accepted.” You are against interracial dating aren’t you? Explain that preference please. I’m willing to give you the benefit of a doubt, brother. Are you sure you know exactly who you were typing that last post to?”
I addressed a female commentator. I should have clarified that. Does not matter what shade of color a black woman is. Light skin, brown skin or dark skin.
Listen, I don’t dodge anybody. You like white women or do you like black women? I am giving you the benefit of the doubt.
I think you want to please some of the black female readers.
Stop sitting on the fence. Oh yea, you don’t control Big eyes and Tatt.
I am firmly for black women having loving relationships with black men.
I won’t go any further. I don’t have any “personal” relationships with black women here. We can debate or whatever. They know what I am about.
Good day.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 31 January 2010:
(Looking at the last paragraph)
You “sweet on” Big eyes? What seed I planted?
(I have to put my drink down)
You said this
“Here’s where I will end this and I saw this coming a long time ago and was hoping it wouldn’t have come to this, but I had been watching the seed you had planted between Bigeyes and Tatted. Now, it finally came to a head which is why I had beseeched them both subtly to stop it. I also asked you TWICE to stick to what you do best, as religion and faith are obviously not your bag. You stated before that you don’t argue with men. Keep believing in that. Put your faith and beliefs where your mouth is and stay away from me. I backed you againgst that PhDee prick many months ago, but let me assure you I am a totally different game than that ‘he-she’. If you haven’t been living under a rock, people have been waiting for you and me for a long time and I have no plans to oblige them.”
Who is PhDee? The one that went on a date with a married white man “twice”. She washed up.
Now your a conspiracy theorist. I made Tatt not like your girl “Big eyes”.
You playing games man.
The real story is AZ ain’t wanna mess with Tatt. Tatt said she “turned him down”. Az hollered at “Big eyes”, flirt,whatever it was. Tatt never says anything to Big eyes since. It’s no secret.
Now it’s my fault. We can get it going immediately. I am tired of you getting sweet on chicks and then want to get tough!
Some people ask me why am I here?
I am here to change the lives of black women for the better.
http://www.mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/
Comment by Ichibod on 31 January 2010:
Thank you for your response, Sir?
We can agree to disagree about Dr Cosby the educator. He explained Fat Albert as a recollection of his experiences as a child and each character represented many of his friends as well as other children he grew up around. The lessons and morals of the show were not degrading, just ignored as Fat Albert and his friends were never into crime or trouble that was never discourage or corrected. Bill Cosby and Sidney Poitier were AGAINST blaxploitation films. Their movies came out at the same time to rival their mass appeal much like the Wayans sought to make a mockery of blaxploitation films (I’m Gonna Git You Sucka) and ‘hood’ flicks (Don’t Be a Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood). It’s been said that all this time Bill avoided black issues, now all of a sudden he wants to be black. He didn’t avoid the issues. He tried to lead by example. “I Spy” was cancelled after 2 seasons because it showed how a white guy and a black guy could work together fighting crime, but blacks felt it should have shed light on more racial issues of the time. “The Cosby Show” came under scrutiny because how many black doctors with a lawyer for a wife can you find in the black community? As if a show about a family in the ghetto, doing whatever they could to survive without succumbing to the pressures of poverty (Good Times) was ever learned from. Every brother, and white guy, around that time could and probably did do a “JJ” impression, probably Barack Obama too. What women followed Florida’s example of scolding their sons whenever JJ talked about “finding things”. What black men follwed James’ example making sure their daughters were being taken out by decent men with good intentions? Low income, poor, or whatever they’re refered to as, do not live in caves. They have access to TVs, music, schools, churches, and the law. Yes, there are plenty of opportunities to succeed. We can’t act like we don’t have family members, friends, or just people that we went to school with that are completely uninformed about life and it’s options, but do not take them. Cosby addressed the families. That’s were all of our influence starts. There is no drug dealer on the corner stressing about his family going hungry. I had a friend hustle 17 hrs staight to pay back bail money that someone told him he had 24hrs to raise. He made it with some left over. The amount was more money than I made in a month before taxes. And he wasn’t even a big time drug dealer. Pay for classes with your drug earnings, finance a family member to go to school. Fund a predominately black school or housing development. Have you forgot about the recording industry, more speciacally rap and hip-hop? Whatever happened to groups like Public Enemy, BDP, and A Tribe Called Quest? Their messages were presented to people in a manner in which they could have receive it, but it wasn’t making as much money or received better than the ganster music, much like the blackploitation films of the 70s. Cosby’s movies had positive messages. Much like the Bible, people don’t accept it because it often doesn’t fit the beliefs that they have before reading it. That’s why they form different denominations/sects, adopt another faith, or become atheist when they don’t understand or agree with it. Enough of that.
Much like New Orleans, the looting in Haiti cannot be completely spoken of as people in search of food. That is completely innaccurate. Epsecially when you specifically mention the type of food that they are willing to kill and maim each other for. Bread and water? Mind you, they do live on an island. It’s tropical, not some arrid desert land. People desperately searching for food all of a sudden turn up a whole cache of weapons and start unloading on people who’ve come to help them. The same thing happened in New Orleans. Aside from that, it’s seems just because over 100,000 people have died in Haiti, among the dead were all of the people who have no good intentions or expectations about life, or to not recognize that this country had them already. I’m from New Orleans and I can tell you, the areas where the most looting was said to have occured, NO! They were just straight looting.
As for Pat Robertson, I won’t speak on him. Today’s sermon at church was about Haiti and the earth under Adam’s curse. And the earth itself has it’s own issues to deal with from the begining of time just as man does. And for the record, there was in fact a pact made with the devil centuries ago in Haiti, but that has little to nothing to do with natural disasters.
In regard to taking the Bible literally, I will say this. It’s truth must be “rightly divided” and not “handled deceitfully”. There are many interpretations, however only one intention.
I like women period. I’m not on the fence and don’t have to be. I like attractive females, but that’s the key. Everyone has their own attractions and different reasons for them. If it oozes estrogen, it’s worth checking out to me.
I’m not trying to please black female readers. I like letting readers know what is on my mind. And some of them happen to like what is on my mind. Not all of them do, you know that.
Bigeyes and Tatted are not under my control and neither am I trying nor have ever tried to control them. At times I thought some of the things your were saying regarding Azrazyel, Bigeyes, and Tatts were kind of funny, but I noticed how Tatts avoided direct communication with them both just as she said she had been, and for the reasons she mentioned. It did indeed appear that tht whole ordeal was under a puppet master’s orchestration, that being you, and then they started fighting like a couple of little girls. I have my opinions about that whole thing. I wasn’t taking sides, but I know who I feel came out the ‘warrior’ and who came out the ‘woman’. I was deeply saddened.
I have no problem with your preference for black women only. My brother, and I’m sure many other men in my family, feel the same. My mom told me about when she and my dad started dating, she called my dad’s house. My uncle answered the phone and then went running through the house laughing about how my dad was talking to a white girl. Well, that’s just how she talks, but she wasn’t white. So much for my uncle making fun of my dad, cause his daughters (my cousins) both have white husbands now. Me personally, I couldn’t care less. It’s all pink on the inside and my walk in Christ has allowed me to see people’s spirits over the last few years. It’s hard to explain, but I have a different and greater appreciation, care, and concern for human beings now. However, thick girls are okay. I have limits and exceptions. And as far as butts, it’s about the shape, not so much the size. I’m also a breast man.
Anyway, I’m glad we had this talk.
Until next time, Peace be unto you!
Comment by Ichibod on 31 January 2010:
PhDee was that black dude that wanted to talk dirty about black men. The one who was talking about black men in fraternities and crap. He got mad at me when I asked you if you though it was Lady dee or Peanut playing a sick joke.
Comment by bigeyes31 on 31 January 2010:
Ichibod
I have to say that there was some truth in what Queens said about the Tatted2death saga. Originally, I reached out to tatt after that whole smooches thing. I explained to her why I had NOT acknowledged her much for the same reasons that she uses now. I gave her compliments about her comments and she NEVER once responded to me and hadn’t responded or acknowledged me up until now. So, for her to try and pretend like she is the “better” person is like a pig wearing lipstick to me. Now, I took note of this but I don’t take this blog personally. She DID however, respond to “smooches” the very next post on the very next
day. This led me to believe on MY OWN that there might be SOME truth to what Queens pointed out. I stick to disagreeing with some points she makes and that’s what the blogs about. I have just as much right disagree with what someone post and that’s as far as I take it.
Peace but I won’t let tatted2death “gloss over” this one.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 31 January 2010:
Dear Ich and Big eyes.
There is so much to respond to. Let me just address this Tatt situation. I like messing with her. But as far planting the seed for two women to fight. That wasn’t intentional. Everything that was happening was “subtle”. It was all subliminal after that AZ situation. Big eyes just got caught up in the situation. Me personally, I like Tatt. Tatt is just sneaky if you ask me. I noticed it after the AZ incident. Then she really got mad at me. LOL Tatt getting a kick out of this situation right now.
Anyway, sticking to strictly the topics Ich said. We can disagree on the influence of Bill Cosby. I will say this he never “came out” like this back in the 80s and 90s. He has been rather ‘loud” about the problems in the black community recently. I guess better late “than never”.
Sidney Poitier said he did “those movies” for the money also. I would have to research if he did it for political reasons or satire to send a message.
You mention Bill Cosby was trying to “lead by example”. I know he had a hard time trying to get the Bill Cosby show done. Nobody would believe a black doctor and his black wife being a lawyer. Considering, Bill Cosby was in the doctor’s office hmmm very rarely. I rarely saw his wife at a law firm. LOL I guess it is all semantics. The house looked middle class, therefore, the black family was doing well. He was a pioneer. I will give you that. I can’t say he was a hero. Al Sharpton is hero. He actually put his ass on the line for black people. I heard him lecture at my college years ago. I was blown away how he understands politics and how it affects the black community. He impressed me.
Good Times, I really hated that show for some reason. Maybe, because it was depressing and stupid. Later on, the cast complained about the white writers killing off the daddy of the show. Perhaps, having white writers was a bad idea for doing a show about a black family in the projects.
Esther Rolle was a phenomenal black actress. The only reason to watch the sitcom to be honest with you. Esther Rolle got a supporting actress nomination for “Driving Mrs Daisy”.
Ich you mention all the positives in the shows Good Times and The Cosby Show. But what do viewers get out of it? I pretty much watched it for the comedy value. I never learned any lessons. For example, when Theo threw a party and the house was a wreck. Watching it as a kid at the time, I was like shit clean that shit up and replace the furniture before pops comes home. It was a lot of threats of corporal punishment in the early episodes of the Bill Cosby show. The implication is the traditional black family beat their kids or threaten them. But they end up doing something “stupid” again.
I think people assume “we get lessons” out of sitcoms. If that was the case, why is things worse for young black and women. Incarceration rates are higher; and teenage pregnancy is higher now, than ever before.
You are from New Orleans, so I would go with your assessment on that. Yea it would be a tough comparison to compare Haiti and New Orleans. What is similar is the breakdown in lawlessness. My main point is it is true black people shouldn’t harm black people. The reason it happens can be varied.
The Haiti people are literally battling each other for food. They have to give women coupons so they will be able to get their share of “the food aid”. I find that very disturbing. You would say “oh that is desperation’ that is why they are acting like that.
Now why can’t that be applied to the United States and the inner city Because there “are” no real excuses as to why you can’t make a living in the United States. I concede that point to you.
Lastly, the Pat Robertson situation. You and I both Christians. But because what Pat said was “politically incorrect’, you decided to sort of do a “slight of hand” by saying “well the earth had issues”. You admit there was a pact concerning the Haiti people. So it is not far fetched to say that Haiti is cursed.
You have to take the good and bad with the bible if you are a believer.
For example, my church had a gay piano player. But he was “real good” at playing the piano. I said “the church don’t condone homosexuality”. Long story short, they tell me “well he is doing it behind closed doors and he is not flaunting it”.
No your compromising your beliefs because he can play the piano the well. These type of shenanigans go on in the church. It is amazing.
That was a good debate though.
Comment by bigeyes31 on 31 January 2010:
Mr.L Queens,
Yes, I sensed long ago that she tries to “gloss over” things and will get mad with you if you don’t let her. If someone posts something I disagree with I WILL say something and will continue to do so,such as forums go.I think it speaks volumes about her if she has a problem with my agreeing with some of the points YOU MAKE but not others. I personally never had anything against her. I enjoyed the back and forth between you two it,added some spice to this forum to me. This isn’t a sister-hood for me. I don’t think like that. That’s cliquish to me, not to say I don’t support other women but if you are wrong in my opinion…you are just wrong.
Peace
Comment by bigeyes31 on 1 February 2010:
oh and I prefer the “warrior” forever,lol.
Comment by Douggiedc on 2 February 2010:
Ichibod,
From Wg110212’s husband. This is my response for my wife.
To everyone that is looking for advice. The best advice is not from TV, radio, and not from this sight. The best advice is to be yourself and just go for it. If you are happy with that indvidual, then just be happy. That is what’s wrong with society today, everyone wants to listen to everyone else’s opinion. She is too black, white, skinny, ugly, etc. But if the individual makes you happpy the question will be, “Who are you dating?” are you dating, the individual, their friend, or what someone else says. Thus, the best advice is to look within youself. If that individual makes you happy, then what is the problem? Is it because you are trying to date peoples opinion or their friends. In other words, if you are happy with that individual then be with them. Ignore what others are saying.
The world will be a better place if we stop being afraid about color. The best advice could be right in front of you. So, don’t be afraid about color or race. Before you date color or race, study that race to many are blaming about different races. What it boils down to is that you are afraid because you don’t understand about that race. So, just be yourself because that is what is wrong with society today. We are to busy trying to be like a movie star or like a politician or etc… However, we are not being ourselves, but trying to be like someone else. So that we can fit in or so that we can get that individual instead of being ourselves. Then, we get wrapped up in the lie. So, when the true individual, which would be yourself, comes out the person that you are dating will say, “See you I don’t want to be you.” Some may not even tell you. They may just run away from you without any contact. The other thing is, while you are trying to be someone else you are only hurting yourself. Sure you have a big smile on your face, but deep down you are hurting. So, you go to the next relationship with a different lie. You have been burnt by the fire once, why are you trying to be burnt again. Stop lying be yourself. Before you get into a relationship, find out who you are. What’s wrong with society, we want to be like that movie star, that doctor, we want to be like that etc… If the truth be known, if we step into the movie star’s shoes, that doctor’s shoes or etc. Would we want to go through what they are going through? The heart ache and pain, especially the movie star. Everyone thinks that they have such a glamorous life, but do they really? What did they go through to be where they are now? Does that mean that you want to be in their shoes? So, stop being afraid and be yourself. If you don’t know then try to find out about yourself.
I can give you an example. I used something as a scapegoat from reality thinking that I was that or this, but now I am aware of myself. I am not this or that and will never be, but I am me. That’s just an example of one thing of course this goes for other things that are used such as drugs, alcohol, and religion etc… The truth be known, why are we afraid to accept reality? It may be because we don’t understand or are afraid of change.
Don’t be afraid try to understand people. Not color, but people.
Douggiedc Hollar
Comment by ErzulieRedEyes on 2 February 2010:
MrLaureltonQueens you talked about Haiti, well Hairi did not make a pact with the devil that is a lie created by white people.
And since Haiti is being slandered because of the voudou faith and the white lies and stereotypes that surround this religion i will ell you some truth:
Quick mini Haitian voudou lesson!
White people have always demonized any religion that is black or african in origin.
You never hear people saying “oh run from the evil Daoists or run from the evil catholics!”
but you always hear people calling Voudou an african faith evil.
1.) VOUDOUD IS NOT EVIL!
2.) WHITE PEOPLE DO NOT PRACTICE VOUDOU AS A WHOLE
(A Small number practice voudou)
SO DONOT LTISEN TO THEM WHEN THEY TRY TO EDUCATE YOU ABOUT A FAITH THEY DON’T PRACTICE THEMSELVES.
3.) IF YOU WANT TO LEARN ABOUT VOUDOU GO TO AN AUTHENTIC MAMBO OR HOUNGAN TO LEARN FOR YOURSELF THE TRUTH.
4.)THERE IS NO WORSHIP OF DEMONS OR EVIL SPIRITS OR THE DEVIL HIMSELF IN THE VOUDOU RELIGION.
WE WORK WITH GOD, THE SPIRITS OF THE SKY AND THE EARTH CALLED “LWA” AND OUR ANCESTORS.
Of course whites are not very smart, black people are not going to go to an evil spirit who has no intention of helping anyone in the first place for help, black folks do not worship demons.
So when white people bring up the devil when talking about African religions just laugh in their face
because it is actually whites themselves who are known throughout history for worshipping demons.
Pat Robertson is a pathetic cliche of the whites i’m talking about they demonize all african faiths like voudou amd Pat demonized the country of Haiti because voudou is major in Haiti.
In voudou we do recognize and pray to christ because he is the son of the creator but we do not use christ to slander and make excuses for the pain and suffering of people like the whites have always done.
You wanna learn some about Haitian voudou?
http://www.rootswithoutend.org/
Here is a real deal Mambo Asogwe named Mambo Racine, she does work in Jacmel Haiti and in the USA.
Because of the quakes she will soon be doing voudou service in the usa until things get better in Haiti.
Just wanted to make a little noise because I get sick of whites slandering my faith (voudou) and slandering my people.
Comment by ErzulieRedEyes on 4 February 2010:
Racism was started by white people it is up to them to destroy it.
Comment by bigeyes31 on 4 February 2010:
Wg110212’s husband
HOT DAMN! You said something that struck me in my heart!
“The world will be a better place if we stop being afraid about color. The best advice could be right in front of you. So, don’t be afraid about color or race. Before you date color or race, study that race to many are blaming about different races.”
You went on to say much more that tells me you are a white man that “gets it”.
THAT’S REAL TALK! I respect you my brother!I can totally believe you and your wife have a wonderful relationship. I hope you stay and share more(only if you want)Ichibod is not a mean guy, but try to understand bloggers. The ears go straight up like a doberman pincher,lol when people posts certain things on here. He isn’t attacking your wife but some of the points she made, that’s all. It’s all about the stating of a point and either agreeing or disagreeing.Look at it sometimes like a presidential debate,lol. I’m not trying to speak for Ichibod he is a grown man but I have read alot of his posts and he is cool.
YES!!!! YOU,in my humble opinion, are a TRULY evolved person.
Peace
Comment by tatted2death on 5 February 2010:
HEY!!!!…..WONDER WOMAN is BACK!!!!! (equal parts “warrior” AND WOMAN…..thank you….lol). LET THE RECORD SHOW (I like that one better…..lol), that I GO WHERE THE LATEST POSTS ARE…..so KILL all that paranoid “someone’s following me” noise…tee hee.
what’s all this nonsense about “glossing over” anything ……I told you before and I will tell you again….I don’t have to do that…..I AM NATURALLY GOOD……LOL.
…And as for me having more of a rapport with SMOOCHES…..sorry…that was not about a CLIQUE or any such malarkey. I just knew more about her “style” here, so me responding to her at the time was only natural……PERIOD.
And if ANYBODY can recall CORRECTLY…..I was VERY (genuinely) supportive of the friendship I saw budding between bigeyes and AZ….(before I saw HIS true nature, that is….LOL). But I could tell bigeyes was NOT the “sisterhood” type so I backed off because, LIKE I SAID, I saw the direction the whole fiasco was going. You can “disagree” with this post all you want but facts are facts. I have no need or desire to “make shyt up” in here…..it does not excite me the way it seems to do for some in here. But I will say this, if there was ever a question about my “motives” or whatever….wouldn’t it just been more simple to JUST ASK. At least you could honestly say I tried to “gloss over” something (if that’s how you wanted to interpret it….lol)….now it just sounds like YOU are the one “dragging” this out and trying to paint yourself the victor/”warrior”…..LMAO. Whatever gets you through the night.
…And hey, I actually agree with you about DouggieDC…….quite evolved….and “balanced”…..IN MY OPINION….LOL.
Blessings
tatted2death
Comment by bigeyes31 on 5 February 2010:
LMAO,For the Record I AM WONDERWOMAN!!!LOL
I’m using my “magic lasso” to continue DRAGGNG you aroung these post,LMAO. I’m sure you can already “read between the lines” who is the “warrior”. Nahhh…you are not NATURALLY GOOD…”loose women” can’t be NATURALLY GOOD,LMAO. You make “shyt” up every time you post. No matter HOW many times you say it,won’t change the facts,lol. That’s called “reality”, I know you prefer Utopia,LOL but too bad. Speaking of “paranoia”, how can YOU call somoeone else paranoid when YOU assume all MY POSTS are about YOU? I think I will keep dragging you, it’s easy enough. I love how you read EVERY LAST POST I TYPE,LMAO. You follow me from blog to blog,lol. Since you are SO MUCH about “sister-hood”, it’s not very “sisterly” to “back off” when a “sister” reaches out to you as I did in the beginning. Nah…you had other “motives” and Queens pointed it out,lol he was right.
Obviously ,YOU need something to get YOU “through the night” so much so that you publically flirted, “came on to” a white man on this blog that rejected you, equally as public I might add,lol. You STILL haven’t recovered and then try and give someone some advice on something….man PLEASE. ONLY A FOOL would see you as “balanced” or “engaging”, LMAO.
Peace and REALITY(for those that don’t fear it,lol)
Comment by tatted2death on 5 February 2010:
“pull the string”, Queens…..your “puppet” grows weary….
Comment by tatted2death on 5 February 2010:
oh …excuse me….the “real” WONDERWOMAN needs to tie herself up this time……maybe some “truth” will finally come out.
Where was it that you saw me “publicly” flirt with a man in here?????AND get “rejected”….All YOU can see is how Queens INFLATED your ego and had YOU believing you “stole someone’s man” IN A BLOG>>>>>>>LMAO…..ok…and I AM THE UTOPIAN????!??!??!….surely you jest….
LIKE I SAID, “Daffy” reel in “Foghorn-Leghorn” (in drag, no less….LOL). She/it is letting her mouth write checks her azz can’t cash.
(and if you thought that was “LOW” dear readers……consider I’ve been referred to as a “pig wearing lipstick” quite a few times……IT’S ALL IN GOOD FUN, PEOPLE)
Comment by bigeyes31 on 5 February 2010:
I have already cashed checks in YOUR BANK, ON YOUR TERRITORY….lol…and speaking of drag…with that “man chin” you have…YOU COULDN’T POSSIBLY BE WONDERWOMAN….ROFLMAO. I have Never called her a pig wearing lipstick…so readers don’t let her “gloss over” this too. See she think because the post has been deleted she can “start over”…lol. Not on MY watch. She did in fact do just what I said and she was in fact rejected in the blog”why white men love the black woman” blog…no less, how ironic….lol. The readers already know you are LOW, especially the ones that remember the “loose booty” saga between you and your ever elusive white man….surely you imagine things….LOL.
BRING IT
Comment by bigeyes31 on 5 February 2010:
For the record boo boo the fool. I don’t have to imagine on a blog as you do…I’m going to a supebowl party with a date…you know the ones that you have to travel to Utopia to get…LOL.
Comment by tatted2death on 5 February 2010:
must have hit a sore spot…I see….
…with the tired movie lines (”Bring It”….LOL)
yup…..sloppy, sloppy, sloppy…..you must really be loving the fact that we can’t scroll back far enough the dig up the shyt where you were basically holding AZ’s johnson for about a month…..have fun with your “making shyt up” SAGA…..Peace
Comment by tatted2death on 5 February 2010:
Oh when you get tired of HOLDING “Daffy’s” johnson…..let me know. …..sounds like you’ve been gargling his AND my bath water MIXED…..lol
Comment by bigeyes31 on 5 February 2010:
With that MAN CHIN you are holding YOUR OWN JOHNSON….QUEENS AND AZRAEL called you out…don’t MIND holding the “johnson” of men that were BORN MEN….lol…I keep bringing you back from the dead(stench and all) on these post… you can’t let go…oh the power…LOL.
Peace but I have the truth…and no one has forgotten…LOL
Comment by bigeyes31 on 5 February 2010:
I sensed YOUR “sore spot” looong ago when Azrael rejected your flirt(throwing the booty)on this blog,LOL and you STILL sore about that…well get ready for the pain…LOL
Comment by fenway2k on 5 February 2010:
Ok, while these two are taking a breather between rounds….
I just wanted to interject a quick observation about white men and black women.
This may be ’sophomoric’ or infantile in reasoning, but I don’t care and I think it has merit worth considering.
You will find that the biggest increase in White men dating Black women is happening in urban areas. I believe the reason for this is simple…
It gives White men more ’street cred’ to have a Black woman in their stable. And it helps them survie in the streets.
Like I said before, maybe not one of my more provocative posts, but I believe it to be full of merit nonetheless.
Alright, back to the fight!
Comment by ErzulieRedEyes on 6 February 2010:
You girls need to quit fighting!
We must stick together as black people.
Try asking the love spirit Erzulie Freda for help if you are seeking a nice man.
Comment by Ichibod on 7 February 2010:
Umm… no. Try accepting Jesus Christ as your savior.
Comment by ErzulieRedEyes on 7 February 2010:
Jesus is worshipped in voodoo, get an education on it before you make yourself sound like the white racists that always slander a faith they don’t know about or practice themselves.
Erzulie Freda actually interacts with people and she is well known for helping those seeking love.
Jesus does not go around getting people dates Erzulie Freda does.
Comment by Ichibod on 7 February 2010:
Freda (what a stupid name) is not a spirit of God. The Holy Spirit is the ONLY one anyone who accepted Jesus is, shall we say, “authorized” to acknowledge. Anything else is pagan, period. Now I already told myself I wasn’t going to get into another religious/faith debate here. I can really show you just how much education I have.
Anyway, why are you here, ERE? You hate white people, plain and simple. This is not the place for all of that nonsense. Are you just hoping Azrazyel comes back to rip your monkey face off? He hasn’t been around for a while so please take that racist rhetoric somewhere else. Blacks have converted to Islam because they didn’t understand Christianity. People of all races become atheist because they don’t understand or don’t like the feeling of conviction. That has nothing to do with being white. Get an education on that, please. Just to get you started:
Matthew 16:24 “Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.”
Psalm 37:4 “Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.”
Matthew 6:33 “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” That would include a date if it be his will.
No direct mention or slight hint of this Freda chick. What Lwa helps to channel intellect? Why don’t you conjure him/her/it up to help you out.
Comment by ErzulieRedEyes on 7 February 2010:
AGAIN you don’t practice voodoo so don’t come on here acting like an educator of the faith.
You sound like the typical white person talking about a religion that they know nothing about.
I practice voodoo and no voodoo is not evil.
We work with good spirits, god and our ancestors in voodoo, we don’t work with evil spirits.
YOUR name is stupid, it makes you sound like you want to be some white character from sleepy hollow.
Freda is an african name and it has special meaning. Her full name is Erzulie Freda Dahomey and she comes from Dahomey Africa originally.
Just because you hate black people and african faiths doesn’t mean everybody else does and some of these women might be interested in learning.
I am married i just come here to chat i don’t need erzulie’s help but other women might be interested in learning about her and what she can do to help them.
We worship Jesus but we don’t rely only on him for help we have extra help from god and the lwa which is a good thing.
Comment by ErzulieRedEyes on 7 February 2010:
Freda (what a stupid name) is not a spirit of God. The Holy Spirit is the ONLY one anyone who accepted Jesus is, shall we say, “authorized” to acknowledge. Anything else is pagan, period. Now I already told myself I wasn’t going to get into another religious/faith debate here. I can really show you just how much education I have.”
Oh and you don’t have any “education” because IF you did practive voodoo and IF you were initiated you would be taught the truth about voodoo and not the same lies that the white media preaches all the time.
Since you hate black women and black religion just igore what i say, i’m not here to help you.
It makes no sense for you to try to tell me about MY faith when you don’t practice it yourself.
You aren’t a houngan (teacher) and you aren’t a hounsi(student) of voodoo,
so you look stupid trying to act like you know what you’re talking about.
YOU need some intellect.
I am telling the black women here looking for love that they have options and they can seek divine help to find a mate, people always do.
Comment by Ichibod on 7 February 2010:
I didn’t say anything about voodoo. I don’t need to understand anything about voodoo other than anyone practicing it is wasting their time speaking Jesus’s name for any reason other than repentance and renouncing their pagan worship and practice.
“Good spirits” and ancestors? Ancestors are dead, awaiting judgement before God, and cannot interact with our realm in the meantime. The only good spirits there are is God Himself, His angels (which serve Him), and whatever souls he deems righteous, and again that is at the final judgement. Any spirit interacting with our realm other that HE is a demon.
I wasn’t telling you about your faith. I was telling you about your ignorant, racist attitude that your faith evidently has no remedy for or conviction thereof. And what is this “hate black women” thing? For the record, Jesus isn’t to be worshipped anyway. You need help. Call up one of those mambo jumbos to spit and throw blood and feces at you, or whatever they do. Ha! I just said that to piss you off. I just know Christ has no part in His people dealing with other spirits.
Deuteronomy 18:10-12 “There shall not be found among you any one that maketh his son or his daughter to pass through the fire, or that useth divination, or an observer of times, or an enchanter, or a witch.
Or a charmer, or a consulter with familiar spirits, or a wizard, or a necromancer.
For all that do these things are an abomination unto the LORD: and because of these abominations the LORD thy God doth drive them out from before thee.”
And lastly before I go to bed:
John 14:16-17 “And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever;
Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you.” He’s talking about the Holy Spirit, the third part of the trinity.
I’m done! Play with it.
Comment by ErzulieRedEyes on 8 February 2010:
YOU are an idiot, you are talking about a religion you don’t even practice.
Only a fool talks about people they don’t know, if you knew about my religion you would not be repeating the same racist and stupid comments that white people repeat about black religions.
Quoting the bible does not make sense, first you talk about my religion when you don’t even know about it and then you claim to be intelligent.
Hiding behind bible quotes to make yourself seem correct and smart, you’re a moron.
Smart people learn before they speak.
If YOU don’t like voodoo, i don’t care it is a great faith, my faith, and it is older than your ignorant behind.
I share my knowledge with people that might want to learn, not some idiot like you that parrots what the typical racist white person would say about any african religion.
Erzulie Freda is a powerful love spirit and she has helped many people find love, your silly comments won’t change that.
Comment by ErzulieRedEyes on 8 February 2010:
Comment by Ichibod on 7 February 2010:
I didn’t say anything about voodoo. I don’t need to understand anything about voodoo other than anyone practicing it is wasting their time speaking Jesus’s name for any reason other than repentance and renouncing their pagan worship and practice.”
You admit you don’t know anything about my faith so it makes no sense for you to talk about it.
You can believe all the lies and stereotypes you want but it does not make it true.
One thing white people never learned just because you hide behind bible quotes and use jesus to excuse your ignorance and evils doesn’t make it right.
And obviously you do hate black women because the first thing you did was attack me and my faith when you don’t know me and you don’t prcatice my religion.
And you defended that sick white pervert that trolls websites harassing black women.
I am happily married to a man that respects and loves me I don’t need some ignorant self-hating uncle tom black boy like you trying to talk to me.
Good riddance, you’re pathetic.
Comment by Crasy on 9 February 2010:
I was surfing the web, and stubble on your debate. I am not American. And I think that this question is very American. I am French from Caribbean origins, and in my island we all know that white men have always been attracted by black women. What is this debate really about? Are black women not attractive enough for white men? I don’t think so. Does it really matter?
The census takes the amount of mixed races marriages between white men and black girls. And that brings the subject to another level.
Marriage is another matter. When you marry someone you are linking two families and in that case two different races with a history of hatred and violence. In fact two enemies! Such is the power of love that forgiveness and redemption occurs just like this.
We should not read this statistics in a negative way. We should be happy that in a world where marriage is vanishing, where prejudices and racism is still rampant that some good men and women have had the courage to officially honour their choice. One should bear in mind that for some white men getting married with a black woman means that they have to kiss goodbye to their mum and dad, their friends and expect no promotion in their job. This is a hard price to pay. What a strain for a relationship! Not everybody is ready to do so, especially in an American environment.
You must have guessed by now! I am one of your statistics: a black woman that married a white guy 28 years ago.
There is no super race. Who cares what pleases white men! You should marry the person you love.
Comment by B on 11 February 2010:
If I saw an article that read “black women least attracted to white men”, I’d probably laugh and think whoever posted it was trying to get a reaction.
I’ve dated black women before, and I also like women from other cultures (I’m white by the way). And I can honestly say it’s not really about looks at all. For me, I want a woman who can give me piece of mind. In reality, looks do attract, but I could never rate one race against the other in terms of beauty.
Comment by NeuroticMoor on 13 February 2010:
I’m intrigued by the change in language in the original survey… Why did they ask white women who they were “most likely to date” and then ask “white men who they were most attracted to”? It’s a slight difference that makes the former feel more like a statement of preference, but the latter a statement of value. Is it just me that finds that odd?
Also, another black girl here who was considered a “freak” by other black folk… I grew up in the backwoods of Maine… into country, blue-grass and all kinds of rock… into Sci-fi… and have an affinity for all things British. Plus, I was raised as a Conservative Republican, (although I’m a moderate now)… Try fitting in anywhere with black people when your parents listen to Rush Limbaugh!
I hate it that these things mean I’m supposed to turn in my “black card”, because black is a color not a personality type.
I just love Men or more accurately I just love people - they fascinate me! I wish race didn’t have to be such a big issue in that.
But going back to the original post - It doesn’t matter if the general group “white men” is thought to find the general group “black women” attractive… All that matters is that “this one man” finds “this one women” beautiful and promises to treat her well forever!
Comment by bigeyes31 on 13 February 2010:
Comment by tatted2death on 5 February 2010:
must have hit a sore spot…I see….
…with the tired movie lines (”Bring It”….LOL)
yup…..sloppy, sloppy, sloppy…..you must really be loving the fact that we can’t scroll back far enough the dig up the shyt where you were basically holding AZ’s johnson for about a month…..have fun with your “making shyt up” SAGA…..Peace
1. Comment by tatted2death on 29 June 2009
Those of us that prefer a little order have enjoyed her as a ray of sunshine in the midst of the storm. Does that mean any of us is afraid of the “storm”…..ummm….HaiL NO!!!! I say “bring it”….(if that is even possible online….LOL). You even try and hurt me….YOU HURT YOURSELF
Yup sloppy, sloppy, sloppy. Where’s the “BALACE” in a person that critisizes another for using a “tired movie line” but has previously used it themselves? Even put in quotation marks so that the reader knows for SURE that it is being qouted from a “tired movie”…LOL.
Instead of calling me ‘COPY AND PASTE QUEEN’ as you did before…..you may now call me the ‘COPY AND PASTE EMPRESS!’ I live to get specific when I find a person that likes to “gloss over” things.The weapon that was fashioned against me, I have now used it for my good.
Comment by wg110212 on 14 February 2010:
Ichibod,
I had to leave because you insulted me and thus insulted my husband,who decided to respond in his way.
Now, I will respond in mine. Once again, you fail to understand the comments. Grow up! Don’t pick a fight just to pick a fight. What’s wrong? You can’t stand being put in you place. Mr. Queens is quite correct. You hide behind religion instead of being out front and showing your light! Do you have one? I don’t think so.
Wg110212,
This is a public blog and all visitors are welcome. It’s obvious you are a visitor and have no idea who I am and what I stand for by your question, “Ichibod, do you have a problem with Christians?” Who I am, apart from being ‘Ichibod’, is irrelevant as no one here who knows Ichibod actually knows who Ichibod is outside of this blog, just as I know Julius26 by web handle only.
I did not ask you who you were, but the question was, “Do you have a problem with Christians, not who you are.
My husband would like to know, “What are you so afraid of?”
The motto, creed, purpose, or tagline of this site reads, “Where it’s OK the color outside the lines…”. Advising a person to stand by their preferences sounds a lot better than, “black, stay white; white, stay black” considering their ARE other races, on this site and in the world.
At present, I am not concered with the other races on this site or in the world. Because the tagline for the sight says what it says that much is obvious; however, the tag for this particular section is, “White men are least attracted to Black women?” Thus, I still say Black women stay white, and white men stay black. Because that is what this discussion is supposed to be centered around, not the other races that visit the sight, but black women and white men. Based upon what “James” wrote, this discussion is supposed to be about why white men like black women least of all as possible partners. If other races visit this site and read this blog, they may see the same thing that I did as I was reading, the coversations have drifted to the left or right depending on how you choose to view it. Other races in the world are a given, but once again, this blog is supposed to be in reference to white men being least attracted to black women.
I still stand by what I said about black women and white men, because it is possible to make the relationship work regardsless of color. From the personal experiences of my husband and myself, the only people concerned about our “mixed” relationship is other people that have a problem with color and racism.
“The comment is only being read by those that come to this site. Therefore, are you thnking about the entire human race or just those who are interested in dating/marrying someone of a different race?”
Many people who come to this site join as basic or premium members, most with various levels of interracial dating experience and/or curiosities behind. But you, just as many others that have merely COME to this DATING site are not members, only bloggers. Which brings to question, how did you find this site? Being already MARRIED to a white man and finding a DATING site, not to mention an INTERRACIAL dating site would make one wonder if there may be insecurities or shame that would lead you to a Google, Yahoo, or BING search engine to see what others have to say about interracial relationships as though you haven’t move on with your own life’s preferences, choices, decisions, gifts and blessings. Not to mention, what brought you to “White men are least attracted to Black women?” and not comment on the topic at hand. I’ve only seen one person speak of their interracial relationship and actually invite their loved one to participate in discussions on this site’s blogs. They both are very well known and respected in these threads now.
Actually, I was doing research for a modern communications class. Because it deals with cultures, co-cultures, the communicaiton process, and mediums used in modern communication. I entered “communication between black women and white men”, because I do believe that it is a subject that I know something about. Various articles and sites came up and I printed and read quite a few. Some, such as this one, I did not print.
“I know about the pressures of being in an interacial marriage…”
So, is that why you’re REALLY here? Viewing this site as some support group therapy session under the guise of encouraging it’s members when they could just as easily signed up with Match.com or eHarmony if interracial dating wasn’t already their option or preference.
That is so lame. Because I am in an interacial marriage, there are pressures from the outside. As a whole, society, still does not accept interacial marriages. But, there are also pressures for children of interacial marriages. So, yes I do know about the pressures of interacial marriage, but this site as therapy. That’s just to funny.
Much of the problem that Julius26 and I have with your statement is that previous comments much like it insinuate a limited or narrow scope regarding race relations in many areas of life up to and including dating. Especially as black people, seeing many interracial relationships between black women and white men develope out of superficial reasons has become an epidemic and an extremely sensative topic of debate in these blogs. I am a Christian, also. And reading a comment by someone who professes themself as a Christian, knowing the life of Christ and the mind of God trandscends such unimaginative reasoning, just didn’t sit well with me. Maybe ’stupidity’ was a little harsh, and I apologize. Sorry, I’m not a Donnie Mcclurkin fan. There is no need to paraphrase Proverbs 18:22, I understand that perfectly. It just doesn’t support any intention you claimed by your post except your own selfrighteous belief that your husband found “a good thing”. And maybe he did. To each his/her own.
You are so confused. The scripture was quoted because my husband said to say it and because for those of us that do not profess, but live the life of a Christian we know that it is the man, that must find the wife in order for the good thing to happen. It is the man that finds Favor with the Lord and thus his wife also.
See, you have a problem with race. Because you do not truly understand the culture of a Christian. I do not have a limited or narrow scope when it comes to race relations. Come to a family reunion and you will see what I mean. I don’t believe that my family has missed any races in the colorful rainbow of humanity, lol. Of course, no one is truly the color that we see because there has been such a mixure throughout the existance of the humanrace. Search your own family tree and then talk to me about being limited and narrow. You will be very, very, shocked about what you find about your own family tree.
No one and I mean no one, but Christ himself can truly understand his life on earth. I do not have my God in box. People that put God in box have control issues. They have not learned to “let go and let God.” Man tends to screw it all up and then wants to run to God instead of asking Daddy first. I do have the right to call him Daddy, because when I accepted Christ as my LORD and Savior, it gave me the right to call God Abba Father, which means Daddy, Father.
God has never been inside of the box or Ark of the Covenant, but he dwelt bwtween the cheribums. Thus, he was never in the box, so why don’t you take him out!
…Knowing that the life of Christ and the mind of God transcends such unimaginative reasoning.
Since when does God reason with anyone? That must be god spelled with a small “g”. The God that I serve does not reason, it is this way and that way is straight!
You lost sight of the topic Ichibod. Let me remind you , the topic is Why white men are least attracted to black women. For those indviduals such as yourself and Julius26, get a clue and get a life. People are going to see whomever they choose to see. If it is a superficial that is between that man and that woman. Let it go!
In addition, Christians do not date. We do not engage in prematrital sex. Sex is usually a part of “dating.” Christians fellowship and court, not date. Expecially those dealing with the five fold ministry. There is no shacking! No living together outside of marriage. See, the problem with some men is that they what to manipulate to put the blame on someone else, instead of taking responsibility for themselves. As men do since Adam, it is either the woman or now in society’s day the woman, different races, the neighbor etc.
And lastly, to further answer your question:
“Ichibod, do you have a problem with Christians?”
As a Christian, yes I do. What Christian doesn’t have a problem with other Christians. I apologize for not citing the scriptures and examples to expound on that answer, but you should already know. I’ve already typed more than I wanted to.
There are many mature Christians out there in the vast world that do not have a problem with other believers. They have graduated to meat and are no longer on milk. You are obviously still on milk.
I did comment on the topic in the first response that I submitted; however, you and others did not understand. So, once again, just say that you do not understand and ask questions and do not assume that you know what I saying. There is nothing wrong with asking. What’s wrong is when you don’t ask. Assumming will get you into a lot of trouble. Sometimes, you can talk your way out of it (lie) and yet sometimes you will dig a hole for yourself. Thus, assuming is not a great thing to do. It is better to do research or ask. There is nothing wrong it you do not know. This way you will know and you will not get into any trouble because you chose not to ask. When you assume, sometimes you try to make it look like you know, but in actuality you do not know. Other persons will agree with you, but they know that you do not understand and they think that something is wrong with you. It is better to find out the information or study.
Like you said, no one knows who you are outside of this blog. However, I will tell you who I am. I am a daughter of the most high God. The one and only true and living God. I am a member of the family of Christ and I am a prophet, evangelist, and teacher of the most high God. ADONI.
The question is, when will you stop hiding behind religion and start living as a child of ELOHIM!
Comment by wg110212 on 14 February 2010:
To Bigeyes31,
The comments that were posted were not just from me, but my husband as well. He too could not understand why the subject matter has gone so far to the left from the title.
We are generally very easy going people and I did pick up on some hurt in some of the comments on this particular subject. The post was meant to encourage, not discourage, based upon the subject matter that “James” discussed.
My view is not limited or narrow. But I concentrated on the topic in relation to black women and white men. I stand by what I said, black women, stay white and white men stay black.
I know that not everyone had a difficult time with what I said and understood exactly where I was coming from with the comments.
Comment by Pleasestop on 14 February 2010:
Correction. White AMERICAN men are least attracted to Black women?
I’m sooo tired of this worn out AMERICAN, mentality! As a black Continental Western European and American woman, I find this hyper-segregated, arcane dating style, more than a bit bizarre. (Yes, I know U.S. history and language, very well, and have lived all over the U.S. for half of my life)
I am 5′8″, fit, financially independent, world traveled, artist and international lawyer.
European men are all over me, but the American men that I have met, (most of whom cannot hold a global political conversation in their own mono-tongue), act as if they are doing ME a favor. What a pitiful joke!
The fact that people would choose to miss out on their soul-mate, because of skin tone in the “developed” world, in 2010, is ridiculous!
The concept of race has been fabricated to keep people divided. This way, you cannot band together, as ONE people, to fight the U.S. multinationals that keep you all enslaved. (Brilliant geopolitical marketing plan though.)
Before you troll. I am here because my mother is a black American, who has been ill. I came here to take care of her. (As the country that she loves, could care less).
Comment by Ichibod on 14 February 2010:
Wg110212,
Wow! I didn’t know your feelings were that hurt by my post. Geez!
“…why not just ask for an explanation instead of being insulting.”
I recall reading that before. I even flipped one of your own statements to show you that our problem wasn’t with you, but with one line. And how your post was starting to sound like so many other black women (and some men) on this blog that only date white men/women because they hate black men/women. That’s what I meant by “…superficial reasons has become an epidemic and an extremely sensative topic of debate in these blogs.” It helps to keep sentences and paragraphs together when comprehending them rather than breaking them apart for the sake of an argument.
Romans 12:17 “Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.”
I’ve transgressed a bit regarding the verse above, how about you also think about some of the things you said to me in your post, Sista. I know MY family tree is diverse. What’s the point of you mentioning that? Two unmarried people “dating” doesn’t always mean they are having sex. Our society, as screwed up as it is now, just assumes or alleges that daters are or have to. So that was also pointless to mention.
“See, you have a problem with race. Because you do not truly understand the culture of a Christian.”
Whoa!! Where did you get that from? I AM a member of this site, you know. “Culture” of a Christian? I’ve, never heard it put that way before. I’m not going to give my opinon on that line nor do I need you to clarify. It’s just like Christian’s are to seek God’s face and learn to think like Him, but using His name, Jesus, and the word “reasoning” in the same sentence seemed to throw you for a loop. We’ll just let that one go.
“As a Christian, yes I do. What Christian doesn’t have a problem with other Christians. I apologize for not citing the scriptures and examples to expound on that answer, but you should already know. I’ve already typed more than I wanted to.”
That was a joke. Sorry you didn’t find it funny. But, seeing as though you followed up that quote with references to meat and milk, you apparently DO know what I meant by that, but you actually thought you could turn it around and insult me with it. Mr Queens was speaking from his opinions of why white men date black women. That’s why I couldn’t tell if he was really talking to me or not in that post, I just saw he was “stepping in between Ich and Wg110212.” And because you were so insulted, you totally missed the bases of the prior and following enchanges in this blog. That’s what I meant by…
“It’s obvious you are a visitor and have no idea who I am and what I stand for by your question, “Ichibod, do you have a problem with Christians?” Who I am, apart from being ‘Ichibod’, is irrelevant as no one here who knows Ichibod actually knows who Ichibod is outside of this blog, just as I know Julius26 by web handle only.”
I know you didn’t asked WHO I was (that’s why I said it was irrelevant). I was in fact offended by that question. I gave you my answer, but what gave you that impression? An impression different from the true spirit behind my answer, that is.
“Advising a person to stand by their preferences sounds a lot better than, “black, stay white; white, stay black” considering there ARE other races, on this site and in the world” and “…Knowing that the life of Christ and the mind of God transcends such unimaginative reasoning.”
“Unimaginative reasoning”. Sorry this confused you so. Spiritual mindedness trancends such unimaginative reasoning. You decided to look over the point I was making to build a sort of straw man attack. Listen, I don’t doubt your conviction or calling if any. So, it’s senseless to carry this on any further. My agreeing with Julius was based on one statement alone. One that I found… well, I already apologized for saying “stupid”.
“So, once again, just say that you do not understand and ask questions and do not assume that you know what I saying. There is nothing wrong with asking. What’s wrong is when you don’t ask. Assumming will get you into a lot of trouble. Sometimes, you can talk your way out of it (lie) and yet sometimes you will dig a hole for yourself. Thus, assuming is not a great thing to do. It is better to do research or ask. There is nothing wrong it you do not know. This way you will know and you will not get into any trouble because you chose not to ask. When you assume, sometimes you try to make it look like you know, but in actuality you do not know. Other persons will agree with you, but they know that you do not understand and they think that something is wrong with you.”
This entire paragraph was your mistake and the very point behind Romans 12:17.
I kinda liked Douggiedc. His post was very much to the point, not advocating any particualr racial coupling. Just advising folks to be themselves, but to first look at and fix yourselves. I wasn’t insulting him. If I did, he didn’t respond back to me with an insult. Would that be considered the “culture” of a Christian so called? I believe so. You found a good man.
Take care!
Comment by Douggiedc and Wg110212 on 14 February 2010:
Ichibod
So, once again, just say that you do not understand and ask questions and do not assume that you know what I saying. There is nothing wrong with asking. What’s wrong is when you don’t ask. Assumming will get you into a lot of trouble. Sometimes, you can talk your way out of it (lie) and yet sometimes you will dig a hole for yourself. Thus, assuming is not a great thing to do. It is better to do research or ask. There is nothing wrong it you do not know. This way you will know and you will not get into any trouble because you chose not to ask. When you assume, sometimes you try to make it look like you know, but in actuality you do not know. Other persons will agree with you, but they know that you do not understand and they think that something is wrong with you.”
This has been an interesting dialogue in modern communication. No, my feelings have not been hurt.
It just proves the point of my research about miscommunication in a modern communication era, when things are not said clearly and concisely.
Please do not assume that everyone that makes a comment similar to the one that I made, is being superficial. I do not hate my human race, I do not hate any race, because all races were there in the beginning when Adam was created.
Oh, by the way the paragraph that you stated was “the entire paragraph was your mistake and the very point behind Romans 12:17″ Came from my husband while he was communicating with the Holy Spirit. Thus, are saying that the Holy Spirit made a mistake?
As far as your family tree goes, again that was my husband while he was communicating with the Holy Spirit.
I pull no punches when it comes to the Word of God, because Jesus is the Word made flesh. Culture is everything that makes up our way of life including shared knowledge, behaviors, and symbolic expresssion. So, yes being a Christian is being a part of the culture of Christ. Hence, the reason why we are called Christians in a positive way now, as opposed to the negative way when the term “Christian” was first used at Antioch.
God will use whatever medium He chooses to use when he chooses to use it Ichibod. My husband and I are just vessels that are being used by God to reach you and let you know that the path you are currently taking is not the correct one. Turn around and see God for who he truly is. Thus, much of what was said was said by through us.
Again, let go of those things and let God. You need to turn away from the big thing that you are in because we are talking about your soul here. God wants to heal you, but you need to turn away from it. Because what you are involved in is not from God and He did not give you the okay to become involved in it. God has so much for you. The Lord wants so much to give to you, but you need to walk away from that issue, before you become so involved and there won’t be a way out.
That’s why, no disrespect intended, you are having trouble understanding what is being said. Let it go, let it go, let it go.
Douggiedc and Wg110212
PS-Please meditate on John 3:16 and 17. Read it out lound and think about it. Don’t answere the telephone or door. Just think on the two scriptures. Then it will come to you.
Comment by fkoi on 15 February 2010:
Ichibod, good to see you man. I know I am guilty of this on (many) occasion(s) but when I respond at great length to folks I don’t know in a venue as faceless as a these blogs I know I need to go take a walk or pick up an instrument.
I feel ya, man. It sucks to be maligned and/or insulted, especially in a public forum. That’s what the other cheek is for I think. I turned mine a while back on this blog and it felt good. Not telling you what to do or how to be of course. Just sharing my mind.
Comment by bigeyes31 on 16 February 2010:
wg110212
Well, I was very impressed by the insight you both offered on this topic being that you guys are a successful interacial couple. As I stated before, it’s not a matter of misunderstanding your point but one of debating your point. You have to realize that this is still a blog/forum which often gets off topic and draws debates. Sometimes there is a harmonious exchange of ideas,musings,thoughts and just plain old conversation and often times there is not. I can only say that it’s best not to get into debate which involves some basic back and forth at least until you become less sensitive,provided you intend to continue sharing your thoughts here. You and your husband are welcomed. I do respect that you were woman enough to say something that was posted hurt you instead of pretending. I truly respect that but I don’t think it was intentional. You remind me of another couple Scoff and Sarah that came here to share not expecting or maybe not realizing that this is place of debate and was initially hurt by some bloggers on here. But, as her participation increased and time pasted she grew to enjoy her time here and so did Scoff. I hope you and your husband will participate in whatever way you see fit.
Peace
Comment by bigeyes31 on 16 February 2010:
Edit: I meant….”and as time passed”….bit of a Freudian slip…lol
Comment by Ichibod on 17 February 2010:
Wg110212,
I know John 3:16-17 very well and I hate when people leave out the 17th verse (or the rest of the chapter, for that matter). I feel it’s the most important one out of the pairing. I’ve used that as wallpaper on an old cell phone of mine, the headline of my MySpace page, and many other places. It’s one of the things I have against some Christians when certain condemnation is directed toward people. However, I’m not sure what that has to do with me. I wasn’t trying to insult or pass judgement on you or your husband. I stand by my opinions, but as I said in another blog topic, opinons are worth squat because they can be derived from either truth or fallicy. God says nothing about staying with any particular race, but Jesus says to love thy neighbor.
My problem was with just ONE sentence fragment of yours. What’s the deal with your accusation of me having a problem with race, your co-signing of a blogger regarding a comment that was actually from a totally different blogger (that racist, crimson-optic voodoo demon), God in a box, assuming I said that God reasons with anyone, hiding behind religion, assuming I don’t know about my family tree, and my “being afraid”? I’m not religious, by the way. I’m faithful.
Really, all this “preaching to the seminary” stuff you’re doing is really depressing and really not what we should be carrying on in front of all these folks. Like I said earlier…
“Listen, I don’t doubt your conviction or calling if any. So, it’s senseless to carry this on any further. My agreeing with Julius was based on one statement alone. One that I found… well, I already apologized for saying “stupid”.”
You say that you pull no punches with the Word of God, but you let loose a haymaker of sissy slaps in all of those posts. Please, stop it. Extract what you need from this blog, and finish your research. The people of Antioch coined term “Christian” meaning to be like Christ. The only negativity associated with the term at that time was the fact that anyone with that name was persecuted. Now the term is negative pertaining to anyone who isn’t a part of Christ’s true church/body (hence, my problem with some Christians yadda, yadda, yadda). One of my favorite quotes was by Mohandas Ghandi. He said…
“I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”
Just as Obi-Wan said to Luke Skywalker, I feel the “force” is strong with you two. I don’t know. One talks, one types. Can’t really tell who’s saying what at times. I kinda like the Scoff and Sarah posts. You can tell who’s who. Nevertheless, I already apologized, and I meant it. If you felt I was on milk, you attempted to do a lot of wounding of my spirit with no forgiveness and without any constructive critism or correction relative to this so called “interesting dialogue” to facilitate healing. My relationship with God is kinetic. I don’t despise reproof. I’ve never been one of those people who says, “I don’t care what other people think about me”. But, you’ve said a lot of stuff based on so much of what I’ve never said nor even implied. And that’s wrong, and my worth-of-squat opinion says claiming it came in communion with the Holy Spirit is as well. Not the Holy Spirit itself, but the claim (I have to make sure I’m clear on that this time).
More so than John 3:16-17, 2 Timothy 2:15, and Hebrews 11:1 (just three of my favorites), I have always been conscious and careful of this one…
1 Chronicles 16:22 “Touch not mine anointed, and do my prophets no harm.”
I’m not very sure about y’all for a number of reasons, therefore I’m remaining cautious and concerned for all of our safeties. So I’ll say it again, It’s senseless for the three of us to carry this on any further.
Take care!
Comment by godiva61 on 17 February 2010:
@Ichibod,
You are one of the FEW, people EVER, to have me laughing, and very hard I must say, this early in the morning!! Thanks my dear brother, I needed this laugh this morning!!!!!!!
Racist, crimson, optic voodoo demon, too funny! I’m hoping that this line will not be in my head all day!
Comment by godiva61 on 17 February 2010:
@bigeyes31,
I almost forgot to thank you for the compliment on yesterday, much appreciated! I try very hard to be nice to everyone, in my life away from this blog, as well as this blog, just treat people in the manner in which you want to be treated, and when you don’t think that you can do it, be still and be quiet.
I’ve learned more about myself and other’s over the years, simply by listening and really allowing some people to have the last word if they so desire. While they may be still talking, I’m listening to the ONE who really matters.
Have a great Wednesday!!!
godiva
Comment by Ichibod on 17 February 2010:
Godiva,
I thought that was funny, too. I remember when you approached her in all manner of love and respect regarding her language and attitude, and she just went off on you in a twisted tantrum. You have this humility thing down pat. I’m still working on it. I read everyone’s posts about up to 12 times line by line before responding to them. Some posts I’ve sent have taken 3 hours before submission due to proofreading, re-examining statements (in Hebrew and in Greek,lol) in order to give the benefit of a doubt. Other times, I just like to have fun a say what I think is funny from my perspective. I also remember how you came to me after those harsh words I said about you last year. That’s the type of correction and encouragement we all need from time to time. Love ya, Sis!
How are you feeling now? Breathing easier I hope.
Comment by johnnybadboy on 18 February 2010:
Ichibod,… I see you’re still going at it. I got tired of all the ‘read a book once’ geniuses, but, because you stuck your neck out for me, I wanted to drop some information. Not hyperbole, just plain simple facts not commonly known, and, which in one case diminishes a legacy, and in the other, just tarnishes it a bit, which in my opinion is needed, as I do not believe in making humans into God. I also tend to have a live and let live attitude in most cases, so please suffer my remarks. The one diminished, Mahatma Gandhi,(was a racialist)who had a chance to do a big thing and backed down. I don’t speak of South Africa, from where my grandad had to flee for telling racialists, things like,”When you were a baby, she had you at her teat,and you sucked and now you won’t walk down the street with her?”.(and Many other such things, so that as the Jan Smutts Government came into power, in spite of the fact that he had just been named the 1st Dean of the School of Pharmacy at Rhodes University, he had fought in WWI, his brother was a highly decorated DEAD war hero, and his brother-in-law, another DEAD war hero, by 1929, he realized he better get out of ‘jail free’, so he fled with his wife and my mom, and one trunk. All else was confiscated. Now Gandhi didn’t get involved with the rights for all, movement there, at least not to that extent,BUT, what he didn’t do, in spite of their leaders begging him to do so,years later in India,when his voice would have counted huge, was to say that the “untouchables” status,and for that matter, the whole caste system should be done away with.No, he turned his head. He told them to go away. They suffer harshly yet today. Sadly enough, that India remains the most segregated country in the world, or if not, is a medal contender.Of course their(”untouchables”) voices are never heard. In fact India, to hide inequalities unsurpassed over thousands of years, hides this small fact,yet once I heard,it is and will always be, a huge and never ending fact for me. Movies like ‘Slum Dog Millionaire’, (didn’t see it so I don’t know if it is plural)are made,to let us think,there is hope for all, but no, Brahmans marry only Brahmans, and so too do the other castes.They must never mix, or their children would be born “untouchables” and liable to the rapes, burnings of families and their relatives who complain of violence against them, and lynching is still a popular sport as well.{FYI…I really thought that you would want to know.} It is not a judgment against a people,but,it is a judgment against the system that is protected by the true practice of a religion,not like the bullshitting Wahhabi,Jama’at Islami, Taliban or ignorant types,who,unaware(and maybe purposely unaware) that Mecca was the capital of prostitution and other vices on that peninsula in the early years of Islam, or until Mohammad’s armies captures the city and freed the sex slaves, closing the brothels, giving women in Mecca and Medina a permanent set of rights which were to be used as a beginning, not an end , read passages that tell men and women to behave modestly,(one translates, telling women to “cover their charms”, i.e.their genitalia,and not to flaunt their breasts,not to wear transparent clothing, as the prostitutes were wont to do.These weak men find it easier to think that women were ordered to dress like ‘ninja’. That is just an utter falsehood, enforced by men who are afraid they cannot keep their women,and continue to act like the opening we have on our backsides.In point of fact, they saw the Byzantine female nobility cover up most of their bodies,even hiding their faces behind a veil, that commoners might not look upon them,and centuries later,when the Mongols came,slaughtering millions,and raping who they please,took more to the veil so that a Mongol soldier might,in a captured town,believe that t5his was an important woman, better leave her alone. And it worked. There is so much more, and I would happily debate anyone who is smart enough to understand when they are wrong about something.(Not an easy person to find) In this field, I am well read.Back to Gandhi in a round about way. It is well covered, in WWII, the second largest NAZI party was in India, with millions of members.Aryans !! That mind set is one reason Islam has so many followers and Christians, and other religions do well among those educated enough to understand paths out of the lower castes or the “untouchables”.(It is also claimed by the inhabitants of the south east regions of India, that St.Thomas journeyed there, and converted many. BUT, it is not easy to get people(even the oppressed) to change beliefs, especially when they are told that they,their former self, had to have done something terribly wrong for them to be born as low as they are,AND IF they want to get out of such an awful life,advancing in the next, grin and bear it. This information is available to a decent scholar, but, it stays out of the news for geo-political reasons.Cheap labor,free rape,murder without consequences,an economic benefit and no-fault crime for the high castes,who of course control the government,police, and army. A book,”Everything You Know Is Wrong”, will offer proofs if you need them, although I cannot remember is the bit about Gandhi, out of Indian History texts, or was it also mentioned in that book. Have a strong stomach, and bless you, if, after you find out, you speak the truth. The minor flaw about King Jr.,whom I idolized, and thus,though I was angry at him for a few years,still I kept the facts to myself, for people still needed him as a saint,(in spite of his womanizing which was known), was that while at Boston University, when writing his dissertation, he plagiarized enough of it, that had it been known at the time, he, or, ANYONE else caught doing so, would have been sanctioned, expelled, etc. . To me he did his penance. Perhaps it gnawed at his soul in moments when he felt tired or weak. I don’t know. I do know the music in his dreams and voice,and what he did, in my mind, wipe the slate.(You see I taught,and, I also did not get jobs that were given to people who did cheat. In fact, I was offered rather large sums of money, by people who wished a thesis,($10-15,000, depending on the field, $25,000 and up for a dissertation. From what I understand, it is very common now.That is sad,but,does to a degree explain the general incompetence,and gateways to corruption.Hungry as I sometimes was, I never even wrote a paper,(money there too)although I did read and critique, all of the above- for free. That’s different. I guess my judgment is based upon the fact that in one case, terrible things were and are justified(Gandhi), while in the other,there greatness of the latter acts, show a contrition few would dare. So even though they both were shot, King died because he was trying t6o do what Gandhi would not, extend equality to all, something that seems to be sadly missing from this site far too many times. You and I may be of different faiths, but, I believe the essence of our soul regarding the treatment of God’s creatures is not so far apart, if at all. As for me, you used Gandhi as an example,and I did not wish to see you so deceived.I do not even have to close my eyes to see little girls, cans of gasoline,the police assisting, or turning their heads, and it is thousands of people every year, and so, like the ancestors of both of us, at times enslaved, murdered, lynched,…the images linger. Bless you my cousin. Be guided, be protected, and be well.
Comment by Ichibod on 18 February 2010:
johnnybadboy,
Thank you. That was very theraputic. I’m no Ghandi fan, I just liked that quote. I found it some years back and it sort of stuck. I’ll have to check out that book, “Everything You Know Is Wrong”. Neat title.
Peace be unto you!
Comment by BSL on 26 February 2010:
I’m surprised that this post got so long without the entire article being posted. If it was posted you’d see that not only were Black women least desired by white men, Black men were least desired by white women and also Asian women by an equal amount. Just goes to show you that there is still much racism in the world.