Ever heard one of your pals saying they don’t have time for a full time relationship? This is our world. People are so absorbed by working to an extent of not having time to feed the soul. But funny enough many career-minded individuals still want physical relationships… you know, those steamy sexual encounters that have no drama and frustrations that come with relationships. It has become a syndrome now. Most young men and women alike don’t want commitment.
The problem is some of us get into these CFAs (Convenient Fucking Arrangements) only to get attached to someone who made it clear from the did ‘sex’ that that is all they want. So what are you supposed to do then? Sit and pray to the gods that he will fall in love eventually?
Nothing against the ladies but it so happens that most women, after months of having a CFA with a dude end up getting attached. And when the dude refuses to commit, then they feel betrayed. These CFAs aren’t healthy coz when the dude doesn’t feel that connection, then you end up seeing yourself as just a ‘sperm pit’.
The best advice is that if its sex you want, then better have it once and ruuuuuuuunnnnnnnn!!!!!!! When hunger strikes again, go hunting for a different dude. That way, you will be assured of no attachment forming. Am I encouraging promiscuity? It all depends on how we look at it. But hey am just trying to be realistic here.
Wonder what name we can come up with for it besides commitmentphobia. Amuse me people.
Tags: interracial dating, multiethnic dating, sex
Popularity: 2% [?]
Comment by newseries on 11 May 2007:
why can’t we just be honest and say we are interested in sex as well as companionship?
If it was an option on the profile that could only be accessed with a password you could give out your password to people you like.
Then no one would have to feel pressurised into getting physical unless they wanted to.
Comment by tacomaguy39 on 17 May 2007:
i am a average white guy and i think sex outside of my race has been much hotter & romantic and women seem to be into me as much as i am into them. then being with my own race.
Comment by Devi on 24 May 2007:
another name for commitmentphobia???……..’see dick, run!’
Comment by Mybrownie on 28 May 2007:
Hey most people don’t necessarily know that they are in a CFA. Some of us pay for these online dating websites in search of a long term relationship. However there are those out there that are not looking for the same and lets face it “Dick” is selfish. “Dick” may not care that a CFA is not what you want. “Dick” may pretend for a short period that he is looking for a long term relationship and when things get a little too serious thats when we all “See Dick run!” What’s the solution to this problem, I just don’t know. I guess we could all hold off having sex until we are absolutely certain that the person that we are with is on the same program. I guess avoiding the CFA is all a matter of timing.
Comment by Devi on 28 May 2007:
I have more respect for a guy who is upfront & says he is looking to ‘play’ & is currently not in ‘commitment mode’. I think it shows a sign of honesty & maturity. To many people are into playing games & suffer from low self esteem trying to be players.
Comment by Mybrownie on 28 May 2007:
I agree with you Devi it is just respectful for the other person to tell you what it is that they want from you instead of playing games. Life is too short and you never know when burning bridges playing around may cost you something in the future. But until everyone is evolved enough for a mature relationship it’s probably best to keep your heart protected.
Comment by blkfcherokee on 5 July 2007:
Devi,
Yes, Dick can run. Let’s be real, whose fault is it!! We women should learn to read the signs of men when they talk. Especially if we go out with them and they are like an octopus.Don’t be weak, Don’t give up the Fluff until you both have taken the relationship on another level. If you see that he is constantly asking for the fluff and skirting around the “commitment” issue, back off. Once you give up the fluff, you can’t get it back and Dick is long gone!
If you want a CFA, I hope you are taking precautions emotionally and physically because both can be devastating.
Comment by poetlove on 5 July 2008:
Alright don’t jump down my throat. I see alot of sisters responding on here but in my travels it’s women who are looking for these arrangements. I was good friends with a highly educated art teacher. Who invited me to her place to hang out and listen to some music. I was supremely attracted to her and was seeking a little relationship start. She confided that she had a crush or whatever on another poet friend of mine. Than proceeded to to ask if I wanted to what and other sugeestions. Being that I hadn’t started drinking I was able to turn down this women. But all she was looking for from me that night was a little action. I’ve 2 other similiar situations but y’all get the point.
Comment by mr.geno on 5 July 2008:
I’m a “One in a Trillion” man whom isn’t afraid of the “C” word but some women are so it’s not just men.