So your woman is marvelous … of course she is – she’s yours! But there is that hard-to-ignore flaw that keeps her from achieving dreamland perfection. Is it possible to perform a woman makeover in a man’s perspective and turn her from flawsome to awesome?
No matter how well-packaged our toy cars come to us, Miss Perfect is guaranteed to have at least one bad habit, flaw or idiosyncrasy. But suggestions about her behaving badly translate to being b**ched at or her mouth racing wildly through a forest of insults.
According to some old joke, the perfect woman is supposed to be deaf, blind, mute nymphomaniac whose father owns a bar.
There is nothing that makes a man see imperfection in a woman as one who has a running mouth. This is where having a mute woman remote control could be quite necessary. I remember this creation joke:
“The Lord created a girl.Two beautiful legs, so long and so slender,Round, slim, and firm, and ever so tender.Two lovely hips to increase his desire, And rounded and firm to bring out the fire.Two lovely breasts, so full and so proud…two loving hands, to soothe and caress you.Soft, cascading hair hung down over her shoulder, And two dreamy eyes, just to make him grow bolder. Twas made for a man, just to make his heart sing………Then he added a mouth, and ruined the whole damn thing!”
And you know what happens to a man who feels nagged – he turns off his henpecked ears or runs to the bar. I guess this is why the perfect woman’s father should have a bar so he can run off there for advice and beer whenever her mouth stats rattling.
Men have always found understanding women as something that is somewhat superficial. It’s unheard of. How do you understand a woman who can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto her upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider?
One thing that really nags men is a woman’s constant obsession with her beauty. This is why she the perfect woman needs to be blind so she can learn about beauty from within and also learn to accept every man she meets without judging them by their looks (and of course not nag you about the bootylicious woman you were ogling on the streets 
)
One thing I have never understood is why some women doubt their beauty. Many a times a woman will ask if her bum is too large, if she is fat (and that time she is a size 10 
) when quite frankly, you are the most beautiful creatures on earth. Such questions make the once perfect woman become imperfect – imperfect because she has some self esteem issues. Does everything about beauty have to be some “cat likeâ€? competition with one another? Every woman needs to understand that self acceptance is very SEXY! Requiring constant reaffirmations that you’re okay in a man’s books is just plain annoying and immature.
This doesn’t mean that you can’t change improve your own looks for your own private reasons if you want to. Take the steps towards that direction … but please, just don’t drag a man into it.
Then we have the remote control. Please, if men watching football drives you crazy then go shopping. Women should understand that when there is a game going on, the perfect woman would make sure that there is constant supply of chilled beer to accompany the game and that the remote is off limits. Also the perfect woman will never drag her man to her shopping sprees. It is a traumatizing experience for us.
The perfect woman needs to be a nymphomaniac. One thing I really wish for my chick is that she jumps me wherever … whenever . But is it possible to turn your housewife into a w**** in bed? How are you supposed to turn a woman who feels you are a sex addict when you have sex thrice a week into one hyper sexual woman? Well, not that men want to be milked dry but then again having an excuse for every day we feel like some loving isn’t what men consider perfect. This is why most men seek sexual satisfaction from other women.
So, is it really possible to change a woman into the blind, deaf, mute nymphomaniac who will always let you go to the bar in peace or bring you beer in one big barrel?
Tags: multicultural dating, interracial dating, perfect woman
Popularity: 4% [?]
Comment by rizi on 8 January 2008:
This guy needs a blow-up doll…not a girlfriend. I guess maybe that would put me in the “mouth racing wildly” category. My bad for having an opinion!
Comment by ILOVEBLUE on 14 January 2008:
Blind, deaf, mute nymphomaniac? Oh say you were just joking, please!
Comment by gee71 on 23 January 2008:
I had to laugh soooooo hard!! And you´re totally right..! I wish ALL women would be honest with themselves and start rambling and running their mouth DURING their dating spree and not when they they think they have their soon to be husband in the safetyzone. I know there will always be some issues back and forth, but it drives me crazy. Rizi should not be so emotional and telling this guy to get a blow-up doll. That´s EXACTLY what I mean with running your mouth the wrong way. The most successful women in daily life and in business, are the ones who can REASON. It´s a given fact. It´s a huge plus if someone can really counter the stupidity of some men with REASON and not with the eyeballing, hands in face, waving, whatever screaming, in your face screaming I know you didn´t- type of actions. That just gonna get you smacked one day….. Ah no, that´s not possible….I forgot…Today´s society let a woman emotionally abuse and damage you for life, and will focus on men´s physical outlet when he has no words to fight back…. It´s all sooooo simple….. It really is…
Women need to start reason, men need to get more in touch with their feeling….
Amen
G.
Comment by BubLee on 10 April 2008:
Hmmm let me get this straight, if a woman has an opinion shes a nag and a bitch. But if a man does it it’s his god givin right.
Well heres some naggin’ and bitchin’ for you, lol.
I think what Rizi was trying to say gee21 is if James wants to build a perfect woman(and his words not hers)Then a blow up doll comes made to order. It was a statement made as reality check for his idiocy of his expectations when it comes to relationships and women in general. Although I do suspect that james’s blog was written with the prime motive to get a rise out of women in the first place.
And gee21 I’m in agreement only to the part that swearing shouting, ranting and raving and acting like a complete fool dosnt make for your message to be heard…and that fire breathes fire.
But I dont agree that its a womans inability to REASON as you put it but rather their inability to communicate and deliver their message right.( and probably after much frustration of trying to get you guys to listen in the first gott damn place) Much like your reaction “that just gonna get you smacked one day” if anyone has to hit someone in response because “he has no words to fight back” isnt he just doing the same thing just physically. Sounds like double standards to me. Although I do concede like chris rock says in one of his skits “ain’t no-one above a ass whoopin’” lol
What men and women need to do is accept that we are essentially different in our makeup, women are not going to react like men and visa versa. Seek to understand and in turn you will be understood back.
Comment by BIG MAMA on 20 June 2008:
You’re not looking for the Perfect Woman. You’re looking for The Perfect Prostitute.
A prostitute won’t nag you or run off at the mouth. There’s too many other things that she could use her mouth for.
And as for understanding. The only thing that the two of you will understand is that. You have to pay her.
Don’t worry about her beauty. She’ll look different for the next guy, that won’t care.
And that remote control you men worry about, that keeps you from your pleasure. Well it’s her pleasure now as a sex toy. Go ahead click and see what will happen.
I wouldn’t worry about her dragging you off to some shopping spree. Worry about sprinting to your car from behind the shopping spree.
And after your traumatizing experience, after receiving the Perfect Ass Kicking from her pimp. Maybe then you’ll come down off of your high horse and look for Just A Woman.
Instead of the PERFECT WOMAN!
Let us know what hospital room you’re in, we’ll send flowers……….NOT!