“A black woman wonders: What’s up with the Minnesota dating game?”
This was a headline for an article written 3 years ago. And the woman is still wondering…
This woman is concerned about couples comprising black men and white women being so predominant. Many black men in Minnesota are not dating or marrying black women. And according to her, men of other races don’t seem interested in black women, either.
Here is some census data involving blacks:
Among married black men in Minnesota, 44 percent have wives who are not black; among married black women in the state, 14 percent have husbands who are not black. Nationally, the figures are 7 percent for men and 3 percent for women.
So this lady asks, “what’s up with this? If 44 percent of married black men in Minnesota are going over to the white side, compared with only 14 percent of married black women, what does this mean?”
This lady has nothing against interracial relationships if they are for the right reasons - compatibility, attraction, similar interests. But she wonders why some black men and white women only date outside their race. So she asks again: “What’s that about? Does it mean a kind of self-hatred, a discomfort around people who look like you?”
To her, these census figures raises some questions: Why is the interracial marriage scenario in Minnesota so one-sided?
Tags: interracial dating in Minnesota, asian white dating, cross-cultural dating
Popularity: 43% [?]
Comment by Gerund on 13 February 2008:
Regarding the statistics, it would be helpful to look at the nationalities of the “black men” in Minnesota who are married and/or dating outside their race. There is a significant population of immigrants from African nations, most notably, western Africa… This of course would significantly reduce the “race” issue, but definitely increase the “nationality” and “cultural” equation.
These Africans are attracted to white women, who, of course in turn, are attracted to the African men; which would say very little of the African-American OR black men of Minnesota.
It would be interesting to ascertain this statistical possibility. My brother, who is black (American) is married to a latina (Mexican) woman, who reside in Minnesota. I have a friend of Syrian nationality who is happily married to a white woman. Go figure!
Comment by Flirty1 on 14 February 2008:
I live in Minnesota and I see a lot of black men aiming for white women. I’ve seem some very attractive black women get passed up. I’d go into detail but it’s late and would take too long. Anyway, you should look again at the statistic. I agree with the post above. What do they mean by black men? Does it include Africans? If so, they I can see why the percentage of black men married to black women is skewed so high. I would like to see African American men separated out of the statistic so we can get a better idea of who is marrying whom. I suspect that the number of black and black marriages in Minnesota might be lower.
Comment by packer083 on 15 February 2008:
well hey i am brandon and i am white from wisconsin i am more attract naturally to blakc women dont know why it isnt that i dont like white women i have dated them i just love balck wome n and well i believef that it just comes sown to the person they could be pro dating other people outside their race or con that is the beauty of this country you can choose who ever you want to go with
Comment by Lil MaMa on 15 February 2008:
Yes it is onesided. I also live in Minnesota, I am caucasian, I date Black men and have since 1985. I have noticed that over the years the interracial thing has spun out of control in MN. In say that, I think that alot of people are doing so for the wrong reasons; STEREOTYPES!! I really do believe that there is no doubt a stereotypic reason why the black men (African American) here date outside of their race. Most of the men feel like there is something to gain by doing so and they are ususally right (there are alot of silly insecure women here). HipHop is also a big “fad” in the white community right now so, that contributes to numbers being so high for young women thinking it’s “cool” to date black men rather than there being a genuine intrest in the person they date. (It is very superficial). Minnesota doesn’t really have segregated neighborhoods like other large, major, heavily african american populated cities, so there is a different level of social tolerance/acceptance for interracial relationships here. I personally would never date a man who exclusivelly dates white women because I think that there is a loss of basic respect for all women that man may date when he doesn’t feel comfortable with those who created him. I don’t personally know of too many black/white marriages here so I guess one could assume that indeed, they are counting the african’s that are here in this # of interracial marriages in MN.
Comment by SyrianaJoye on 15 February 2008:
I am in agreement with the previous post by LilMa. Anyone exclusively dating outside of their race for all the wrong reasons is lacking as a person. (For example, some black men think that white women are easier to manipulate). DEFINITELY NOT a good reason to date someone. Also, how do white men feel about this trend? Any responders?
Finally, I am a black female and I am interested in locations (cities)where the odds are more in favor of black women who are open to dating outside of their race. Hopefully, someone will respond. Again, I am very curious.
Comment by cocobaker813 on 17 February 2008:
I’m thankful that the 5 folks here have given viewpoints in their perspectives, I agree with them all. The one questioning the realness of the survey findings is so true(I took classes called Empirical Methods for my psych. degree, and frankly, a survey finding can be skewed to support or refute anything). However, it still doesn’t answer the question of why a black woman can’t get love(or a LOT less love)in Minnesota. The question can be asked about more than the state of Minnesota, but I think there was no response to the first question. She had me at(this is me paraphrasing, not a direct quote)why is it that black women seem to be at the bottom of the pile when it comes to dating or maiirage? Dating outside the race is more and more acceptable, but how is it that black women seem to be dead last when it comes to men of ANY color? How is it that men can pick any other race or ethnicity easily, yet not a black woman? And yes, in my many years experience of online dating sites, a man can click on everything(including “Other” if it’s there), and not have “African/African-American” as a choice? Is it the so called “difficult” attitude? Is it because we aren’t beautiful or worthy in the eyes of men in other races? Is it the perception that a black woman needs no one? I am genuinely curious. I’m also curious as to why African men should be separated from African-American men. I don’t accept the reason from Gerund’s post, because the right to date/marry outside the race is already ingrained into the men of this country, not just brought here by immigrants as a radical idea.
Comment by Free14u on 17 February 2008:
Whenever the subject of black women dating white men comes up the only response you hear is “you go girl!” or “she has every right and there’s nothing wrong” Let’s cease with the double standards and allow black men to live their lives.
Comment by Jax on 18 February 2008:
As an independent-thinking, educated black male, black women have shown little interest in me (usually fearing me). During the 4 years I spent in MN, white women treated me like a STUD!
Thanks MN,
Jax
Comment by pbs86 on 19 February 2008:
Seems one-sided to me. Not only that but you must have some crazy and deluded black males living in Minnesota, as evidenced above my post.
Comment by mrjoynfun on 19 February 2008:
one of the reason why blackmen date whitewoman is the white women finds the darkskinned black man more attractive and sppealing than the black women. On overage they are less superficial and materialistic. Today times the black women wants a light-skinned feminine acting brother.He could be fat, uneducated, unemployed and ex-con.It does not matter. They are brainwashed through television, magazines and videos. Only dark skinned borthers with money, perfect bodies and nice vehicles are worthy of their attention.
Comment by Jessica on 19 February 2008:
Why does someone discriminate black? I don’t think love is just belongs to white. I’m a black and but my hubby is white. We met at blackcentury.com which tell us love is color blind. Our love proved this. I hope each one will not discriminate blacks.
Comment by Free14u on 20 February 2008:
If a black male is well spoken, respectful, and kind he is considered to be white or weak. It’s 2008 and still there are many who believe that to be black one must be loud, disrespectful, ignorant, and mean spirited ready to explode at any moment. Sorry…it’s true…many women are attracted to the thug image and mentality and if they are mistreated they label all black men as being undesirable.
Pingback by Dating Advice - Anything ‘08 : Blog Archive : Is interracial dating in Minnesota really one-sided? on 21 February 2008:
[…] Interracial Dating Central Blog wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptIs interracial dating in Minnesota really one-sided? “A black woman wonders: What’s up with the Minnesota dating game?” This was a headline for an article written 3 years ago. And the woman is still wondering… This woman is concerned about couples comprising black men and white women being so predominant. Many black men in Minnesota are not dating or marrying black women. And according to her, men of other races don’t seem interested in black women, either. Here is some census data invol […]
Comment by ganryu on 21 February 2008:
Since im not a thug or dress in hip hop attire..black women show little to zero interest in me. So when i do date outside my race, because “they” dont show interest i get looks. I want to say so bad that black women dont like me. Even if i try to start a conversation with them, they show no interest at all. oh yeah im a black man in chicago.
Comment by Lauren on 21 February 2008:
Since im not a thug or dress in hip hop attire..black women show little to zero interest in me. So when i do date outside my race, because “they” dont show interest i get looks. I want to say so bad that black women dont like me. Even if i try to start a conversation with them, they show no interest at all. oh yeah im a black man in chicago.
I am always struck by how many times black men mention thug/hip hop when they state that black women do not show interest in them.
Where do you live in Chicago dude, for black women to only like thugs/hip hop?
I am not into thugs or hip hop either (or other negative behaviors). And I am a black woman. I am into education and various cultural events.
If all you know are black women who are as you described, that is sad. You are not the only black man I’ve seen make the same type of comments. Sometimes I wonder if the thugette/hip hop type women are you some black men approach. hmmm
Comment by write66 on 21 February 2008:
I’ve noticed Jessica is on several of these blogs and seemingly advertising a web site…
Comment by Lauren on 21 February 2008:
Write66 said…
I’ve noticed Jessica is on several of these blogs and seemingly advertising a web site…
I agree wholeheartedly. That site must not be doing well to see those ‘ads’ all over the web (not just the irdating central blogs)
Comment by Princess5005 on 23 February 2008:
Hey Sisters, forget about all those Black men who is with the white women. The bottom line is there are plent of men black, white, asian and otherwise who simply adore and are proud to be with you, beautiful black women. You need to be accepting of other races…I have been with black males and white males….its like anything else, if you find the right one he will treat you like the Princess, Queen that you are. Sisters, you need to be flexible and not only look for black men. There are plenty of white men in MN who are seriously interested in you. Why don’t you give them a chance! I have, am I am loving it!
Take Care and be openminded and flexible.
Comment by Truth on 23 February 2008:
Hey Guess what it is almost 2009 & these dating habits are goinig to continue. So everyone date who you want and marry who you want. Enjoy this great life we have because it can go by rather quickly.
Love and peace to All…..
Comment by Mr_Nightlinger on 25 February 2008:
well i can say everytime i try to talk to a black woman i get the nose turn up at me like i’m not good enough, or i don’t wear a suit and tie, or i’m not perfect looking, i tried but i came to the conclusion, life is to short to try to find someone of one race who turns there nose up at you , so i have no problem with race a woman is a woman to me not because shes white ,black green or yellow , but because shes the one who gave me a chance to be with her, and if she is white so be it and if anyone does not like it, tough!!
Comment by Mr_Nightlinger on 25 February 2008:
oh and another thing if everyone would start looking a people as a human being , and not at the color of ones skin the world would be a better place and less racist
and that goes for anyone who has a problem with race of any kind.. but hey thats in a perfect world we will never see that in our lifetime, when it gets down to it i think this world should get attacked by space alliens and maybe that will bring everyone on earth together as one race- HUMANS!
Comment by Flirty1 on 26 February 2008:
I’ve noticed these thug comments too. If that is actually the case (which, to be honest, I doubt) then change your outlook and attitude. The people you attract are a reflection of some aspect of you.
The reason I am doubtful though is because I’ve heard black men give the thug excuse as a reason to justify dating outside of their race. It’s sad. You guys need to get comfortable with what you want. Bashing black women because you feel insecure about your desire for white women is wrong. It is a new world. As you can see, interracial relationships of all kinds are everywhere. Be honest with yourself first and everyone else and say that you’re interested in white women or non-black women instead of bashing them. There’s nothing wrong with it.
Comment by Lauren on 26 February 2008:
Mr_Nightlinger Says:
“…well i can say everytime i try to talk to a black woman i get the nose turn up at me like i’m not good enough, or i don’t wear a suit and tie, or i’m not perfect looking…”
Mr. Nightlinger:
Its unfortunate if every single black woman you approached turns their nose up at you. I’m curious as to where you live that you would experience this.
Nevertheless, if your approach to all black women has been respectful and with confidence and you experienced this…yes I can see why you want to date non-black women.
Actually, more than a few black men turn their noses up at black women also (and I am not talking about the ’so-called’ ghetto black women that men like to bash). This is why I encourage black women to do what you’ve done Mr. Nightlinger, Open Your Options black women; there are non-black men who would love to date/marry you.
Comment by carmelskingirl on 14 March 2008:
I must say when I read this I think it is all one sided. I find it hard dating in minnesota for me a black woman trying to date a white man. It is not open and it is not easy for us to seek and find. Dont get me wrong I love my brothers But when I meet them it is the same thing. They talk about how the black woman put them down and how that is a big turn off for them and how they get no respect. We are to ghetto. I am just sitting there listening. I am like wow they really have a fear of us black women embarring them. I date all over black white asian etc.. Some good some are bad. I cant just say all black men are bad because they are not and I cant say all white men are good cause they are not. I want to find that one person who will love me and respect me and accept me for me. I am trying this internet thing now and it is hard. So i just suggest keep trying and searching and maybe it will happen..
Comment by LApete on 18 March 2008:
In reading your response i find some of it true and some a little of base people should have the freedom to be with the one they love no matter the color of skin, well in a perfect world,but isnt that what this is a world ? not perfect for ever one but perfect for thoes who choose to live there,when i look at my family meke up I see black,white,hispanic,indian and asain,this is my family and it works for us.Ive dated outside my race my children are by black women Ive loved. my choice of a white women,is because thats what i want my choice,my desire as long as were happy with our relationship its not a game or fad for me and i can care less what others say or think you cant help who you love try to be happy for yourself.
Comment by LApete on 25 March 2008:
I like dateing the person that makes me happy shows me all the respect that she wants in return and if shes white or whatever its my choice no other race of womaen should fell less than anything all it would mean to me is that they’ve found their other half. besides if they like i love it.
Comment by stpaulletgo on 4 April 2008:
44% of black males having a white partner are about 1% of minnesota population
while 43% of minnesota population is made up of white females
According with researches only 3% of white females are more attracted to other races than their own race (so thats 1,29%) So the numbers kinda fit.
The new trend everywhere is white male-black female
Anyways interracial is wrong… there are a lot of factors about this, and all i see is that the only ones dating blacks are rejected, ugly or retarded with all the due respect
Comment by CarolinaKid on 19 April 2008:
I agree with most of the brothas on here my experiences have been the same. It seems if you have an education beyond the 1st grade black women (not all) don’t want anything to do with you. Most of their excuses are your’e weak, too nice, or I would walk all over you. I’m like ya’ll obviously don’t know me very well cause I’ll definately take you on a trip if you want one. Regardless most women I have met outside of race tend to be genuinelly interested in you, and not what you can do for them, and that’s why many black women are losing in the dating game, at least with men who are about something.
I’m just sick of hearing them complaining about how there are no good men.
As I’ve heard many times before if your in your 30’s and single or still can’t find a good man, hey mabye it’s you.
Think about it.
Comment by kingoliver on 20 April 2008:
I also think the reason so many black men have given up on black women is because of the attitude black women of today seem to share, which could range from a varity of things from selfish, pettiness, and just an all around mean streak that is such a turn-off. And yes sistas love their share of thugs. It doesn’t matter where you go. Sorry but the truth is the truth. I made the mistake of dating them in my younger days but no more.
Comment by yardysmile on 22 April 2008:
Well i think that black or white, people should date who they feel, if you are a black man who happens to like a white woman what is wrong with that? and visa versa, we should stop the stero typing and just live our lives with the one person who makes us happy, i am a woman of colour who likes white men and i am not racist against my own colour i just find them sexy, so if there is any white man out there who is single and isnt intimidated by an educated, sophisticated woman of colour then hit me up PLEASE!
Comment by tj on 27 May 2008:
Stereotypes. When Black men say that Black women don’t want them because theyy don’t dress in hip hop atire, they are sterotyping. “BLACK WOMEN” that is a large group of women, which include Beyonce, Oprah, Whitney Houston, Halle Berry, Tanisha, Kameka, and every other woman of African descent. And when you say BLACK MEN, you are speaking of alot of men of African descent who don’t wear hip hop clothes. That attire for the most part isuse is generational.
And that excuse, for the most part is lame, stereotypical, and covers the real truth. It is also insulting to white women. Because why would a white woman want you either if you have all these stereotypical problems. Furthermore, the excuse about Black women don’t want you because you are educated and not loud. Are you an idiot? African American women graduate college twice the rate of Black women, so the problem is reverse. And Black women still practice endogamy more than Black men. Just like you aren’t loud and ‘ghetto’, the MAJORITY of Black women aren’t either. You shouldn’t ascribe to these stereotypes.
Attitudes-another stereotype. it’s funny how people perpetuate these things about their own people when what that says is something even more about you. Furthermore, Black men are not exempt from their fair share of statistical problems. To say that Black women, or even some are petty, materialistic, and selfish is so off base, it is ignorant. Those things can be attributed to anyone, in any circumstance.
Lastly, white women are the penacle of beauty in America mostly following the Eurocentric paradigm. Black men-THIS is why you outmarry. Socialization economically, and educationally has nothing to do with it because you can check any statistic and Black women on average are climbing the social latter much faster than Black men.
Date who oyou like (when you find out who you are otherwise you become apart of self-hatred which is the problem and not the solution).
Comment by jiggaboo on 29 May 2008:
I see more more and more white guys dating black women nowadays. I think the trends are changing. I am hispanic but I know quite a few of my white friends that are dating black women.
Comment by nubianqueen on 29 May 2008:
Im a 25 year old african american woman. I met my white husband on a online dating site. Theirs no need for black women to be single considering the fact that their are plenty of white men that would love to date you.