What do people really think of the Black man? Low! This video is such an inspiration. It shows us what we think of the Black man and what really is! I mean, even the Black men underrate themselves. I mean, do we really think Black men are soooo anti-education?
Well, truth be told, lets stop saying that there are no good Black men. According to the video they are there and the Black men make more money than the Black women. Let’s stop saying that White women are stealing all the good Black men coz maybe, just maybe, there is something the White woman does that makes a Black man feel have a liking for her. And if you ask me, I think the White woman makes the Black man feel worthy and appreciated.
What do you think of the video? Over the years, the media has shown us negative images to get ratings and dollars. Don’t you think its time we actually searched for the truth instead of buying into these myths and self destruct?
Tags: interracial dating, interracial relationships, online dating
Popularity: 19% [?]
Comment by johneb30 on 10 December 2008:
The video misses one huge point. Even if you look at the numbers as percentages of the total population, which I agree is the correct way of asessing the trend, the RATE (not just the gross number) of black males marrying white women has almost doubled. It has risen by 84% (of course, a 100% increase would represent the rate doubling). The gross numbers that the man says the media uses would represent a 94% increase. So yes the media gets it wrong by looking at the gross numbers, but not by as much as this video would have us believe. It’s still a sharp increase.
HOWEVER…….
Having said all that, I would still venture to say if we were to look at the percentages from year to year from 1980 to 2006 there would be only a slight up-tick every year that brings us to our current levels. Not an explosion, by any means, but yes a trend.
And why does he say we’re going to look at the past 20 years and then give us numbers from 1980 to 2006?
Lastly, the video makes a GREAT point that the number of single black women is due in great part to LACK OF MARRIAGE rather than black men marrying outside of their race, white women in particular.
Lastly, I would like to point out that if we are marrying or making life decisions on what the media says, it’s our OWN fault, not the fault of the media. A bad decision based on misinformation is the fault of the misinformed much more than the misinformer. In this age where information is so readily available and accessible there is NO excuse for being uninformed or misinformed. DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH and don’t believe everything you hear and read.
Comment by johneb30 on 10 December 2008:
Ok so I made two ‘lastly’s’ lol. well i couldn’t get wound down lol sorry about that
Comment by Eric_T on 11 December 2008:
I soooo appreciate thinkers! Preach it John. I’m with you all the way and would like to add that I hate the media. And simply for restatement purposes…, toss out the tv and investigate your life, your career, your society, your government, your spirituality, your…, come on people, fill in that blank!!! When the tv tells you everything you know and you can’t rattle off the first ten amendments in the bill of rights off the top of your head…, how could you possibly know that you’re actually free? Now statistics for this and that are fine and good but I warn anyone who bases what they think by statistics with a quote from Samuel Clemens a.k.a. Mark Twain, “There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics!”
Stick that in your pipe and smoke it. BOOYAH!
Oh, and thanks again John. I love motivated free thinkers. Good analysis.
Comment by Maggie on 11 December 2008:
I think is Eric is right, everyone needs to examine there own. Being a white woman who only dates black men I can tell you why they venture outside of there race, I get the same response everytime I ask. RESPECT!!! are black woman the only ones intitled to respect, you have to give it before you can get it, sometimes even when it’s not warranted. There are challenges that blacks face everyday don’t be part of the problem be part of the solution.
Comment by NubianGem on 13 December 2008:
You can pretend you don’t know the history of America if you like but for the sake of validating my response, I wont.
I am an African American woman and the fact of the matter is when you factor in homosexuality, jail and those qualities that a “good black” woman looks for in a “good black man” there is an overwhelming disparity.
The media paints a vivid picture of American beauty and the American dream. Depending on the man in question, dating a white woman is equated to an amount of false success. The media has painted this picture for as long as most of us remember, therefore some people don’t even notice when they are being brain washed and spoon fed B.S.from the media. Everything from books, newspapers, television, radio and history, past and present reflect the idea that lighter-skin figures are more attractive, adhering, respectable and virtuous that darker- skin people
To each his own though. We should seek to find mates in which we truly formulate a great bond with and I am all in favor of that.
Maggie honey, you have no idea why men venture outside of their race. Your not a black man your a white woman and as a sister yes I do demand respect and i am intolerable, if its not given. The media has affected many a man including the brother. I don’t know what type of men you date but if your still dating and you want more here is some food for thought. Hope ya hungry.
White women’s opinion of black women & a brother’s response
Please take a moment and read this. Pretty Deep! Thumbs up to this black man.
Enjoy.
It seems that an article was written to Sister 2 Sister magazine by a Caucasian woman who requested a response from black men. I’m so glad she got what she asked for (and more) !!!
Dear Jamie:
I’m sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Black male readers.
I am a White female who is engaged to a Black male-good-looking, educated and loving. I just don’t understand a lot of Black female’s attitudes about our relationship.
My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Black women were slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage.
Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached by Black men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world. If Black women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don’t they look at themselves and make some changes.
I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we’re out in public. I would like to hear from some Black men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them.
Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes…
I could go on and on. But, right now, I’m a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don’t be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better. If I’m wrong, Black men, let me know.
Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in VA
RESPONSE
Dear Jamie:
I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl.
Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old black man. I graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta , Georgia with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful black men.
I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why black men date white women. Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why black men dated white women was because they were considered easy.
The black girls in my neighborhood were raised in the church. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls.
Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of black men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our black women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses. Because of this fear, many black men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control.
I have talked to numerous black men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women. I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful black men date white women.
Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth “Babyface” Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong black women And, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spot light, who openly or secretly desire black women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few.
I just don’t want a disgusted white girl to be misinformed Stop thinking that because you are white that you are some type of goddess. Remember, when black Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs. Read your history!
It was the black woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the black woman that taught you how to raise your children. It was black women who were breast feeding and raising your babies during slavery.
It is the black woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail. Black women were born with two strikes against them: being black and being a woman. And, through all this, Still They Rise!
It is because of the black women’s strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could> never> date anyone except my black Queen. It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love them.
Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about black women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with black women.
I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy more so than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don’t you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous?
I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the black woman has.
BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children.
Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill.
No offense taken, none given.
Signed, Black Royalty
Just thought I’d share. The men who date you don’t do it because they don’t feel respected by sisters they do it because you are who and what they are interested in.
No disrespect, Im just a realist and I call it how I see it. Examine ya own! whatever that means
Comment by karenzaa27 on 14 December 2008:
NubianGem… that was good.
The best thing I have read on this site.
Makes me wonder how people of any race become attracted to only their own race, or only a different race. Being attracted to black men, I feel threatened that the guys I date aren’t going to want to commit because they won’t really respect me deep down because I’m white. Because I don’t LOOK LIKE I have shared in the struggle. When I go out, the men who I notice only dance with black women. I know America has gone through so much struggle and there is a lot more to come- all this anger is understandable. But it’s really time for change. Hopefully people will start being more open minded about race, and interracial relationships, and stop judging each other, period. Like Black Royalty making all those amazing points, but then going too far in the end by saying a white woman can’t be a good wife and mother to his kids because she is not virtuous, and could not understand his struggles. That just isn’t true. A white woman can know history just as well as a black woman. It might be harder for a white woman to learn that history- but, its not impossible. White people are angry too. I am part Native American, so I know how oppression feels. But even if I wasn’t, I could still understand, even tho my skin is white. Yeah, even though my skin is white, white supremacy sickens me and makes me angry every single day.
And Maggie saying that because she’s a white woman who only dates black men she knows why black men venture outside of there race… we can’t generalize. About anyone… It’s disrespectful. People are unique and different, no matter their color or race. I don’t want to be considered “easy” or docile, or weak because I am white and think black men are beautiful. That’s what it’s all about on here, isn’t it?? Desire and attraction for a certain type? No one has the right to criticize someone for what they consider beautiful. You can question, you can point out your own perspective. But… I think we have to try harder not to judge.
Comment by thekid47 on 14 December 2008:
Actually, there is not a great disparity-I know quite a few not good, but great African American men, who are not either in jail, homosexual, etc. They are really great guys, and treat others, irrespective of where they are and who they are, with respect.
I have been reading a lot on this site, from the ‘white men who date the black woman’, and now this article that begins with ‘what do people really think of the black man?’ Notice that the terms, THE black woman and THE black man-as though there is only a singular type, or ‘it is all the same’.
That is one of the greatest problems I note in the comments, the appeals from all sides, to stereotypes. There is no such thing as ‘the Black, White or polka dotted green, anything’.
There will be by about 2010, approximately 41 million Americans of African/Caribbean descent. About 51% at present are female, the remainder, well, male. There are slightly over 2.4 million persons of ALL ethnic backgrounds and both GENDERS in the US prison system.
IT is IMPOSSIBLE, for there to be lack of men of ANY ethnic group by prison population. SIMPLY IMPOSSIBLE, the NUMBERS DON’T add up, and to be frank, as John Adams would say, FACTS ARE STUBBORN THINGS-they don’t change because one doesn’t like them, or believes something else.
I understand if in one’s own part of the world, one hasn’t met these great guys, but with well, at present, well over 35 million people, of whom about 48% are male-well it stands to reason that one hasn’t met everyone or close to everyone.
Regarding that statement as to why some folks ‘date outside their race’-I have always taken the position that there is only one race, the Human race. That being said, I have personally, only gone with persons, of all ethnic backgrounds, for the same reason. That they are great human beings, wonderful and wise women, and very soulful.
If there are people who look at me because I happen to be with a woman who is of a different ethnic group, or not-follow your heart.
Maggie, no the women of African American descent that I have met and know, are women who are soulful, kind,and give respect as they receive it.
So, don’t make a generalization the other way-it is not fair to women who are African American, the same way that the comment by the gentleman regarding white women being a certain way. I have found neither of these stereotypes to be true at all.
Hence the problem with stereotypes.
Peace to all.
Comment by NubianGem on 14 December 2008:
I agree Karenza… Additionally I dnt think Blk Royalty has a preference just like we all do and thats quite fine. He wants a sister, Im happy someone does!
The Kid, u make great points and I wasnt trying to be general in the aspect of agreeing with the documentary. I know great black men too but as a blk woman in the dating cipher. I mean its hard, its really hard. Im too young for some educated brothers too educated for young brothers and then factor in those other factors and its like man, where is my King? lol
I know that i am fearfully and wonderfully made though so I have patience in receiving my hearts desire. I still do believe there is a disparity. They dnt solely fall into the categories listed above though. I mean just because of the history of this country, there exists a different type of black man by nature and I have yet to find that conscious yet driven one. Someone who understands the fruit of life and realizes that Africa is a great part of it. Men under 30 don’t always realize that. They are chasing the American dream. Some men over 30 have decided assimilating is easier and I mean as I said in the first comment box. To each his own.
Love because it is whats in you heart don’t settle for less than what u deserve because in the end whether black or white God has made us all in his light and the way he has chosen. we all have a preference and some like em tall, short, thin, thick, wide, dumb, virtuous, Black or white and thats fine. Statistics like the media deliver the message of the majority. So you def shld not believe in its accuracy and it shld make us all earn to think for ourselves. I guarantee if we did we wld all be a lot happier collectively.
Comment by NubianGem on 14 December 2008:
Some Typos there. (lol) I meant Blk Royalty (does) have a preference additionally in the last paragraph its shld read we shld all learn to think for ourselves.
Thats all, I love u all and God Bless America!
Comment by thekid47 on 14 December 2008:
Hi NubianGem,
By the way, just sent you a flirt ;-)..
Well, on to what you just said, that is what I was referring too.. that there are quite a few, and quite a few datable great guys that I personally know, and they for one reason or another are turned down-in many ways, because of stereotypes-which is what I was hitting at.
Different type of black man by nature? Don’t know if I either quite understand or agree with that.. In point of fact, if you are referencing the connection between the communities of african americans here, and the connection to the African continent, I find that there is a great and ever growing understanding of this connection, and beyond just the question of the Mid Atlantic Passage.. I do..and in fact, have some speaking knowledge of at least 3 African languages, Xhosa, Zulu, and Bemba..
But further, to the point.. how many of us, have read the profile of what someone says, they are even close to us in geographical proximity-we flirt with them and even send a note of introduction, to be given the horrifying and often-’I don’t think that we would be a match, but thank you for contacting me wish you good luck on your search.’? Now, look at what they say that they are looking for, and then note that if that is honestly what they are looking for, and you pretty much have that-that for some reason, either they aren’t really looking for that, or maybe it’s one’s tie lol :-)-or some other thing.
That is fine. But then, don’t go and say, well, ‘there aren’t any good black,white, whatever’ men around. Not saying that you are-but I wonder truthfully, how many persons, who could be matches, are .. told know preemptively, when they in fact, do match what someone is looking for-this goes both ways by the way, for men and women.
By the way, no matter what you say to the flirt-been great chatting with you-I wish you all the happiness in the world-you deserve it Nubia truly.
With much respect,
Thekid47
Comment by NubianGem on 14 December 2008:
Preference, preference, preference. Thats what it all balls down too. Wanting sum1 who accommodates my style, understands where I am coming from with spiritually connected ethos and intellectually driven.
I am personally attracted to people who live in America not of America. With that being said there is a nature in which certain types of people have manifested and it goes beyond a stereotype. It isn’t to say that those cases are the same for all people because clearly they are not and thats what births stereotypes but their is a person and being which is created by nature, lacking the nurture needed to be a prominent and respectful being. N e way since ya flirting hit me and we can discuss what I mean if I havent cleared it up.
Love who you will people if we loved more we would all be a better ppl!
Comment by thekid47 on 14 December 2008:
Well, I did ask you the question of what you understand living in America vice not being of America means, but I look forward to that discussion.
I will leave for another discussion the nature versus nurture discussion-I am not sure what you mean there, but I am sure we will chat about it.
Peace to you..
Comment by Braveheart4U on 14 December 2008:
Well, I watched the clip because I was intrigued as to why, in the 21st century, interracial dating could still be an issue…lol. I mean, its not like we have a personal mortgage on other people based on the colour of our skin!
I’m not from or in the USA so perhaps I am being overly simple, but in my family, and in the context of the South Pacific, we have all sorts of various ethnic threads from history - lots of different Caucasian cultures that have come together and also Pacific threads that have all done one thing…made love and had babies. Once that happens, colour of skin becomes rather unimportant.
I have got to agree with “Thekid47″, when he states ‘I have always taken the position that there is only one race, the Human race’, - thank you sir.
None of us are imperfect - we’re all just a bit different, skin colour and culture just being two elements of potential difference, and we all just need to enjoy the difference and feed from it.
I believe that rather than feeling threatened by a statistic that measures the apparent growth of interracial marriage, we should be perhaps wondering why it is a statistic that even needs to be collected…
By the way, in the USA, if I have a Black ancestor in the past couple of generations, does that make me Black enough to be considered a Black man (for statistical purposes)? What’s the cut-off level of “Blackness”?. I mean, if I have white looking skin, but I feel Black, does that make me Black for the purposes of statistics? Or if I have black skin but don’t fit the statistical expectations of society for a black man, am I still Black enough?
I am on this site because I happen to think difference is wonderful. It is exciting and exposes you to other views on …well….anything! I wish everyone peace and happiness for the coming holiday.
Comment by thekid47 on 14 December 2008:
That’s a big Roger, Braveheart.. peace and respects to you sir.
What you are referencing is something that existed in some of the States prior to the Civil War and continued up until the mid part of the last Century-and that is the problem with the social construct of ‘race’-you get into problems when you analyze in that fashion. There was a phenomena called
‘passing’, which was of someone who was ‘light’ skinned and passed for ‘white’-by the way, there was discussion of this recently on C-Span Booknotes, and interestingly enough, there is a person interviewed in the book-title escapes my mind right now-and that is a New York City Socialite-and wont reveal the fact that she is indeed African American because of what that would do to her status.
That is a sad statement of how damaging the concept has been, and still is, running in our society.
But the wonderful thing is, that this is not the last word.
Comment by tatted2death on 16 December 2008:
Thekid47….
amazing how wherever you may roam common sense seems to follow….I am so glad you are out here reading and responding (I have been on a bit of a “sabbatical”); countering some of this madness before it even starts.
I am so glad that someone like NubianGem exists…because if not I would have had to set Maggie straight on a few things…..LOL. I have to say everytime I see someone bash one “race” of women to make another feel good it makes my stomach turn. And any woman that feeds into or perpeutates such madness really needs to take a “mirror glance”.
Ok…(kicking the soapbox)….back to your regularly scheduled thread.
Peace and Blessings
tatted2death
Comment by NubianGem on 17 December 2008:
Big Up Tatted and much Luv Ma, U from my home town. Born and raised and im sure u know sum of my folk. If ur a full member drop a line.
Comment by giftfromgod on 19 December 2008:
This was a very informative documentary thank U for sharing your precious time to create this ….time to destroy falsehood
Comment by phatkitty on 21 December 2008:
Ms God’s gift to blk men should get over herself, youre not really angry @ total strangers, you are angry because you expected them to accept you and they dont. Not all of us are tolerant. May i say welcome to the black side of your life.
Comment by phatkitty on 21 December 2008:
still commenting on DWG somewhere in VA. According to ur comments, who died and gave u a liscense to tell blk women how to change themselves and learn how to love a blk man?? You have no right. Dont kid yourself, no one is without fault, if your man fill your head with all these negative things about blk women, then he has no respect for his mother(which i know is blk) or all the other matriach in his family. Shame on him, and even more shame on you for believing this nonesense. Bottom line, your man is trying to justify his reasons for dating and wanting to marry you, by putting down another group of women, this is heart wrenching, because when u have children, and if you have girls, how will he be as a father to these girls. Regardless of what both of you think, society already made that choice for you, that your future children will be considered black. I honesty hope your man is doing this for the right reason, and not using you to get away from blk women.
one luv
Comment by ginnie on 21 December 2008:
i am so tired of all the arguing over race religion age sex finances just find me a nice single male who will share a life of love respect caring with me from a sweet single older white woman
Comment by thekid47 on 21 December 2008:
@ tatted2death,
thank you and much respect to you. Best of the holiday season and please, do stay safe..
much respects to all..
Comment by Fidelp on 23 December 2008:
Can we all just get along… lol
Comment by tennisball on 23 December 2008:
ok all you people need to be blind so you don’t have to worry about white or black.I also think when it comes to men and females we are going to find a way to get together no matter what and when have you seen one race of woman not be as female as the next you have the same positives and negatives in every race and culture.So just love the ladys no matter what color they are thats what men do
Comment by newmoney27 on 25 December 2008:
It is what it is. You like what you like, let’s not dig too deep here.
Comment by Onetrueone on 25 December 2008:
Newmoney27; I will agree 100%. It is what it is…
Comment by 1ofakindlove on 27 December 2008:
I definitely agree w/ Tatted2death..a woman is a woman regardless of her skin color! Ignorance is ignorance and intelligence is intelligence, regardless of your physical appearance. Women that disrespect or degrade women of another race are just portraying their own insecurities within themselves. A comment on the article that was posted on Dec. 13: “A Disgusted White Woman” was totally out of line for some of the remarks that she made against black women..By no means is any race of women superior than the other!! I will also have to say that some of the comments made by “Black Royalty” were also incorrect and based on stereotypes as well. All so called “white women” are not docile and easy to control, so don’t get it twisted!! I am a woman of many races, and I am a strong woman that speaks her mind. If people could just respect one another, and stop passing judgements on others…maybe our world would be a better place, and there wouldn’t be as much hate!
Peace and Blessings to All!!
Comment by AALOVE on 28 December 2008:
I thik what NubianGem spoke of how Double “A” AFRICAN AMERICAN Men are either gay or in jail is an excuse that Black women often cling to, because there are plenty of African American men who are not Gay or in Jail and the funny thing is, is that women of other nationalities always seeming to fing them.
The truth of the matter is that we keep avoiding the 246year era of U.S Chattel Slavery where European American Slave Masters implemented the dysfunctional lifestyle of removing African American Men from the home and making African American women the heads of the housholds to emasculate(socially cut the balls off) the power of African American men to create generational docility in African American male children and extreme generational independence in African American female children, which can be visibly seen today.
Through the eras of Slavery and Jim Crow 1619 -1973 many African American female households were forcibly coerced to raise their male children by White male plantation owners and Law enforcement to be weak so that they would not act on their natural male instinct to protect the women in their families from rape and torture so that they could save his life. This was done by African American women during slavery were so afriad that white men would kill her sons, that she purposely killed his self esteem by verbal abuse and beatings, when he in any way would display signs of manhood or being a leader and a protector.
Unfortunately due the facts that there has never been any type of familial repair on the behalf of European American Males nor the U.S governemnt for the genrational damage that they’ve caused African American families over the past 390years, these dysfunctional gernarational patterns from Slavery and Jim Crow are still very much in tact today .
In closing, until African American women turn off this wicked switch of publicly and privately tearing down DOUBLE “A” Men, that thay have been taught from the generatinal lifestyles of Slavery and Jim Crow, DOUBLE “A” men will continue to seek women from outside their culture, because they are treated like a man,and not like a Boy.
African American Men today are far more educated and far less dysfunctional today than forty years ago and are being raised more and more around strong, intelligent, African American men and women; not just women like Slave Masters designed for our sabotage and destruction.
So NubianGem if you’re seeing weakness of African American Men in modern day times, we need to start asking the Sista’s one major question “WHO’S RAISING THEM?”
Comment by thekid47 on 28 December 2008:
Hi AAlove,
To be fair to NubiaGem, during our dialogue, I mentioned some of the facts as they stand now-namely that it is impossible, simply on the case of numbers, to claim that any not only good, but great men are not there-numbers simply do not allow that statement to hold. But you will see, that NubiaGem in her follow up, further clarified what she was saying, and mentions that there are good points made.
When I further mentioned that there are persons who are preemptively told no, the response was ‘preference, preference.’ Fair enough, as far as that goes, but don’t say that there are no good or great guys around.
You can’t it both ways, is my point. You can’t on the one hand, that there are no good or great ones, and then when a good or great comes around, then that is not preference. Again, not saying that NubiaGem was saying that-it was a general statement of how, inconsistent these discussions can get.
Which brings me back to the initial questioning that that got us here, and indeed on other places on the site.
There is no such thing as ‘the black man’, or the ‘black woman’-as it is being framed in this particular blog, or in the blog why white men date the black woman-for example.
There is as much plurality and difference within any ethnic group, and it is, it seems to me, playing on stereotypes which does no one any good.
So the questions are kind of problematic to begin with.
That being said, I am amazed at some of the responses that I have read on both blogs-and with respect, it is more than ‘it is what it is’, it seems to me.
Given some of the responses, it is a wonder that there is any connection at all, but again, perhaps that is what can give us some hope-putting things out there, and when it is out, we can look at it, and perhaps reconsider what it is that we say and what we think. Then the possibility of change, arises-and that is always a good it seems to me, especially, positive change.
Sometimes one needs to challenge what is, to get to what should and could be.
One more word.. Last evening I had the great good fortune of having dinner with a soulful, strong, assured woman who happened to be African American. I felt nothing other than being treated with respect and as Man, and I treated her, as is my custom with all women, as a Woman and all worthy of respect and cherishing. She is getting her Ph.d., now, and it was just wonderful being in her presence-just wonderful.
Several months earlier, I traveled about 4 hours+ hours for a first date with another person, equally remarkable, but it did not quite click-even though we had been talking with each other for some time-several months to be exact. But sometimes what we think of a person in terms of phone discussion is different when one comes into actual contact-while a nice meeting, and it was fun to bring flowers that I managed to keep alive and fresh throughout the trip-it is clear that we aren’t really matched. She also was a woman who is African American. There are some personalities that perhaps, don’t click, and there are also, some personalities that feel that they have to dominate-and can’t perhaps deal with a personality that will not be dominated.
But the wonderous thing is, that there are women, of all ethnic backgrounds, who are strong, soulful, and who one just enjoys, just being in their presence-it is just a joy.
I have found that in women of all ethnic backgrounds.. I don’t know whether long term this one will be ‘the one’-I don’t think about that too much, because it was after a first date-and the purpose really to my mind, of having a first date, is to be able to see if there is the possibility of a second date.
But I have to say, and I think that I am a good guy-but behind all of us good guys, and those guys that are great-there are exceptional women-I know that I was raised by a person, two persons, who were and are exceptional. My Mom and Dad. They are extraordinary, I say that, but really, they are simply great parents-and so I would imagine, that the AA Guys, were raised by exceptional women of substance, style, strength and grace.
Respects to all..
Comment by SmartOne2 on 31 December 2008:
Great dialogue!
To be quite frank - Can someone have a preference for only a particular race and not be willing to date someone from their own race be a suitable person for you to date?
The additional question arises - What really drives a person’s preferences?
Comment by eJay82 on 1 January 2009:
In response to SmartOne2 question, I would have to say no…..they wouldn’t be suitable to date. Personally, I don’t have a preference on race. I was born and raised in New York City, so I’ve been exposed to different ethnicities since I came out of the womb. I find myself being attracted to different things about different people. Anyways, back to your question. I am an African-American male and i’ve dated women that weren’t black and I would have to say that the biggest turn off to me is when they tell me that they exclusively date black men and they’ll never date anything else. Yeah, it’s flattering that she likes black men, but in my mind, i’m thinking “aint your parents white?” Things like that tells me that she won’t keep an open mind, which is a major quality that I look for in women. I also don’t like the ones that try too hard to fit in and being somebody they’re not. Don’t listen to Kanye West when you’re in my presence, thinking you’re impressing me, then when you’re on your own you got George Strait in the CD player. In closing this response…b/c I really need to b/c I can go on forever with countless other issues….if you’re white, be white. If you’re black, be black. Be yourself. I like to be enlightened, so when someone is different from what i’m accustumed to, that’s a huge plus….Happy New Year to all!
Comment by eJay82 on 1 January 2009:
In responding to SmartOne2 question, I would have to say no…..they wouldn’t be suitable to date. Personally, I don’t have a preference on race. I was born and raised in New York City, so I’ve been exposed to different ethnicities since I came out of the womb. I find myself being attracted to different things about different people. Anyways, back to your question. I am an African-American male and i’ve dated women that weren’t black and I would have to say that the biggest turn off to me is when they tell me that they exclusively date black men and they’ll never date anything else. Yeah, it’s flattering that she likes black men, but in my mind, i’m thinking “aint your parents white?” Things like that tells me that she won’t keep an open mind, which is a major quality that I look for in women. I also don’t like the ones that try too hard to fit in and being somebody they’re not. Don’t listen to Kanye West when you’re in my presence, thinking you’re impressing me, then when you’re on your own you got George Strait in the CD player. In closing this response…b/c I really need to b/c I can go on forever with countless other issues….if you’re white, be white. If you’re black, be black. Be yourself. I like to be enlightened, so when someone is different from what i’m accustumed to, that’s a huge plus….Happy New Year to all!
Comment by sweety on 1 January 2009:
All this discussion about race. We r all the same and as a black woman I always have to be defending the human race with my black friends. The biggest problem I see is that we keep going back to history. How can we move forward. Yes, slavery and prejudice lived supreme at one point in time, but isn’t it time we live and date however we want. A lot of those racist folks have died and their children and grandchildren really aren’t racist. Society has changed and yet still we keep bringing it up. Who really cares about what happened centuries ago. Do we really want to live in the past. We want the white folks to love and respect us and we can’t do the same to them. I know where disgustedwhitefemale is coming from, cause I have seen black females acted like that…they believe black should be with black and white girls r taking away the black men. The funny thing is, we would not have liked it to be the other way around. It breaks my heart to see what BlkRoyalty wrote that white women cannot be good mothers, and also the list of black men he made that had black wives….u like who u like. U can’t go in someone’s head and say these r the reasons why they choose their spouse. Celebrity and non-celebrity alike look for different things in a female. Some like big butts, blue/green eyes, blond,kinky hair, chocolate complexion, curves. Come on guys, stop demeaning each other over something we can’t control…..our love for each other
Sweety
Comment by timidcharm on 2 January 2009:
Sweety is right on target
Comment by AALOVE on 3 January 2009:
Hold on a second Sweety, you can act as if though history is long gone and passed but the truth of the matter is, is that the history bewtween European American and African Americans is what has shaped the way we look at, feel and think about eachother today. It may break your hear about what each grup is writing about the other, but this is an atmoshpere that European Americans created on their own, never thinking that they would ever have to treat African Americans as mere human beings.
The more that you try to Sugar Coat and overlook the 390years of damage that European Amercan males have caused to Afican Americans and our culture as a whole, then the worse you are allowing the problems that now exist, to become. What amazes me is that everytime discussions like this pop up, no one ever expects nor challenges European Americans to make things right for the things that they’ve made wrong. It’s just expected that African Americans suck up the damage that our families are still to this day, one of which being the Nigger Mentalities that European Americans created to animalize us. The real kicker is, is that European Americans now expect African Americsans to be fair towards them and to act as if the things in which their people have done and continue to do in modern day times should be forgiven and overlooked.
Well I’m sorry, those days are over. Until European Americans figure out a way to even this society out in the same manner in which they’ve worked so desperatley hard to make unequal in their favor,then they will recieve the same treatment, looks, comments and uncomfort that they’ve forced African Americans to endure in this society for 390years.
Comment by AALOVE on 3 January 2009:
Also what I notice on this blog, is that the European American males have stopped blogging, since this discussion has had more educated facts enter the atmosphere. Wheneever discussions like this turn away from a surface type of dialogue, to a more serious one, where in which they might be looked at to answer or respond, they always remove themselves from the discussion.
Comment by Sweety on 3 January 2009:
Okay…..maybe u can tell them what they need to do.
Comment by AALOVE on 4 January 2009:
To be honest with you Sweety I believe that European American males already know what to do and just have neglected to do it. African Americans all throughout the 1950’s through the present day have told European Americans that they need to pay reparations for the hundreds of trillions of dollars that they owe African Americans for the 354year eras of U.S Chattel Slavery and Jim Crow. They just felt like it was a joke, and that what they’ve stolen was in some maniacal, dyfunctional way, rightfully theirs to keep.
They have paid reparations to the Native Americans, the Alaskan Natives and the Japanese, but have refused to pay the debt that has literally provided the very lifestyles that they enjoy today. What they don’t understand is that since they claim to be a Judeo Christian Nation then Biblical rules apply. Biblically God will not let you keep what you’ve stolen, and when you look at the United States now it is clearly losing everything that European America has prided itself in which are it’s Banks, Auto Makers, Educational System and Industry. I believe that the United states is under a curse for not paying the 777trillion dollars for the unpaid debt to African Americans which includes the tortures, rapes, murders, theft and unpaid labor for building of their cities, railrods and major national landmarks i.e The White House, The U.S. Capitol Building, The Walls of Wall Street etc…etc….
So since the U.S nor European America beleives that God will not deal with them for their abuse of us, it is time that we stop tryng to get them to see the light, and simply focus on our own problems . We need to focus completley on healing ourselves and families from the generational damage that they’ve caused, not try to figure out solutions for a group of people who are the direct and indirect benefactors from the damage that they caused our people. I refuse to keep thinking of ways to help a group of people, who have literally focused on making us their Hosts so that they can be our Parasites.
Sweety we need to come to the conclusion, that European America can in no way enhance us, so it only benefits us to help ourselves.
Comment by Sweety on 4 January 2009:
Well u made a good point in ur last statement….which leads us back to what I have said before. Thank u for agreeing with me. So I rest my case
Comment by lohanso on 5 January 2009:
Interracial relationships ? sure …be good people, good neighbors, work, come help me help me when I need help and I’ll help you …ect. Meet your signficant other at work ? fine, church ? fine, school ? fine, ..go looking for a white woman or black man ..well that’s different. Stark reality there, so much interest and study going on between these stereotypes “white woman” “black male” …people who don’t care what love means …just interested in social taboos and the attention they can get by exploiting them maybe ? who cares ? but …don’t date my daughter please, not because your black or white, but because of the social aspects of the connection …racist ? maybe. Reality …yes. There will be ramifications from most of our society, maybe subtle, maybe not. Interracial relationships shouldn’t matter, we all know that …but they do, except for the people that know you. If your a couple (note: couple) who are not bothered by the current generations attitudes and feel you can raise a family who will not be bothered by such, by all means, go for it. Love has no color filters. But it would be irresponsible not to weight in the negative aspects. Racism is a fact, not an ideology. Personnally I believe it’s more of a cultural distinction than color, the colors just magnify the negative stereotype perception of those who look to find it.
Comment by AALOVE on 5 January 2009:
Sweety where did I agree with you and where exactly are you resting your case?
So Let’s Break Down what you said, cause it seems to me as if though you’re just trying to be right without actually proving your point. And by what you wrote it seems that you’re the type of Black person that wants to let European Americans off the hook, by not looking at all of the hundreds of years of damage that they’ve caused African Americans to bring us into modern day times, just so that the racial discomfort that white folks feel when the subjects of racism and inequality pop up. All the while African Americans are still suffering from the hundreds of years of family breakups and the Nigger mentalities that European Americans inflicted upon us.
YOU WROTE ON JAN 1, 2009:
“All this discussion about race. We r all the same and as a black woman I always have to be defending the human race with my black friends. The biggest problem I see is that we keep going back to history.
Sweety if you’re always trying to defend the human race with your Black friends is probably beceause your African American friends don’t buy the B.S that European American society has been selling about everything being equal in this society when any fool would know that in 2009 African Americans are still the first fired and last hired even in the cases where in which we have more experience and education than our European American counterparts. Secondly Sweety I doubt very seriously thar you’re defending the human race from African Americans because African Americans are very specific when dealing with matters of their enemies. what you’re really doing is defending European Americans (white folk from the United States) from the anger of African Americans. Which in the average African American circle would make you a TRAITOR and looked at as a House Nigger, trying to defend her Massa.
YOU ALSO WROTE ON JAN.1, 2009:
“Yes, slavery and prejudice lived supreme at one point in time, but isn’t it time we live and date however we want. A lot of those racist folks have died and their children and grandchildren really aren’t racist. Society has changed and yet still we keep bringing it up. Who really cares about what happened centuries ago. Do we really want to live in the past. We want the white folks to love and respect us and we can’t do the same to them.”
What makes you think that racism is dead and gone when the same week Barack Obama was elected their was a plot by a 2 White Supremacist TEENAGERS planning to go into Memphis, TN and kill 103 African Americans and then finish their killing spree by killing Barack Obama? What about the 844 Hate Groups (All headed by European American Males) and rising. How about the Jena 6, Hurricane Katrina and its aftermath 3years later? Sweety what world are you living in to think that prejudice and racism is almost all gone. By what you wrote, you sound like that you may have high when you wrote your comments.
If you want to defend European Americans and try to act as if though the things that they’ve done and refuse to make hasn’t set the stage for today’s times, then I’m afraid that you will be treated just like them in the years to come.
Sweety, what European American alwyas had hoped for was to have two things in constant play in regards to African Americans, 1) that we would be so traumatized and academically ignorant that we would never return back to a normal human state of thinking 2) that they would always have Black folk like you, who will run to their aid to defend them and their crazy actions.
Comment by bunny84 on 6 January 2009:
Why can’t people just date other people because of a pure physical attraction? Does it have to be explain through science, or some social or political agenda?
As on to the man who said black women are stronger in general to white women… BULL! Your color does not dictate what size you will be, how much additude you have, and how easy you are to walk over. In all races there are strong women, and weak women. It will not make you a better mother. My best friend is black, and she’s a wonderful mother. Her sister sure the hell isn’t. I would like to say I will be a good mother when I get the chance, I can’t say my older sister will be. White women can be just a strong, full figured, and sassy as black. I mean, look at me and my sisters. I’m white, poor, and never graduated college, and I’ve never let anyone walk all over me. The one boyfriend who hit me, just once, got a black eye, and the door hit him on the way out.
Why does everything have to be black and white? Why can’t we just be with who we want to be with regardless? And please! It’s supper annoying when you are dating outside of your race and you get dirty looks, and snide commets from people of that race. Grow up. We are all adults.
Comment by Sweety on 6 January 2009:
AALove my dear. I am done arguing with u. Cause I see who u r. Sorry to disappoint u, but I won’t give u the satisfaction of taking out ur anger on someone.
Bunny 84 ur right on target.
Comment by Salsassin on 8 January 2009:
LOL. You did right Sweety, no use wasting your time with someone who has come to argue for argument’s sake.
On that token, AALove, I’ll be your Huckleberry. Not a European American male, but plenty of them in my family. They don’t owe you a dime.
Nor do I buy into your conspiracy theories of how slavemasters masterminded some plan to cuckhold Black males through Black females. Yes Slavery and Jim Crow were terrible things. And yes we should work to better the communities together. But there are no hand outs, nor are there any slaveowners here that owe you anything. Just like the son of a murderer can not e taken to court for the crimes of his father, you can’t blame anyone here for what slavemasters did. Only for what they did. It really does suck that some people are born into more burdens than others. But that is hte reality of life. I am sure the impoverished families in Appalachia would have loved being born in Beverly Hills as well. All you can do is work hard to improve your lot and hope people give you a fair shake from now on. If people exhibit racism in the present, that is a whole different subject.
Then they should be charged with hate crimes. Be it the White family that abused that Black girl and kept her prisoner, or the foru Black soldiers who raped and murdered an interracial couple, not long ago. Racism exists in all groups and should be fought against equally on all sides.
Comment by AALOVE on 8 January 2009:
Salassin it since you want to jump in and be the Huckleberry into an issue that you’re obvuoisly not prepared to handle then be my guest and take Sweet’s place. You’re now the Hucleberry. It doesn’t matter weather or not you buy anything about the Generational damage that European American males and Slave Masters have caused in this society to African Americans, because you ain’t African American in the first place. So since you nor the people you seek to defend can make anything right and the only thing that you can do is reap the benefits of what my people have made for you in this country over the last 390years, then the best thing you can do is to SHUT UP!
You’re a foreigner who comes over here to pass on the privildige of your white skin, that’s why you want to defend European American males, not just because their in your family. Since you don’t understand the damage that European American males have caused to African American Culture as a whole you idiot, you should have left this conversation alone between the two African Americans who were talking about things that you have knowledge of.
You should just be greatful for the money that you have in your pockets at this moment, because it is a direct result of what African Americans afforded this society. Last but not least, if you honestly believe that African Americans are going to simply forget what has been done to us to give you the priveildge that you have and us the burdens that we have because of European Americans, you have got to be smoking Crack. Go tell the Jews to forget what was done to them in Germany.
So Salassin I know this is a funny subject for you, but in real life I strongly urge that you keep your laughter to yourself.
Comment by AALOVE on 8 January 2009:
Oh Yeah, and as for you Sweety, the real reason why you’re not going to defend your point is simple. You can’t. When I asked you questions about what you wrote, you couldn’t respond because I quoted your own words from what you wrote. You tried to say I was in agreement with you, and you knew from what you wrote, that I clearly wasn’t.
The next time you blog on an issue like this one Sweety you should realize that people are not going to let you say, ignorant things without challenging you on them.
So you can try and act as if though what I wrote is in anger and try to act like that you’re trying to take the high road by not arguing with me, but the truth of the matter is you just ran into a Brotha with some education, and has researched topics like this one for several years, so don’t come Half Steppin on these subjects, cause on blogs like this, you ain’t dealing wit Ray Ray or Pookie and dem from off da block who can’t formulate a sentence
Comment by Salsassin on 8 January 2009:
Sorry bub, your victimist mentality does not impress. My father, a Peruvian Creole of Indigenous and African decent has the bloodline of exploited people as well. He was born in a shanty town in the mountains that had none of the comforts most housing in the inner city still does. Compare it to a sharecropper’s house if you must. My grandfather was murdered when my dad was 12. He raised his brothers and sisters, and still was able to go to school, graduate top of his class, go to Harvard and become an eminent doctor.
In the US, Ben Carson is an excelent example in the African American community overcoming adversity. They don’t talk the talk, they walk the walk.
All I see you do is complain. Guess what, yes there is historic abuse to overcome. In multiple places around the world. But you can only fight abuses in the present and buck up and try to better your situation for your children in the future. My dad was not a “traitor” like you want to claim of sisters here. He married someone he found common ground in. He chose to return to his country to help his people and took his wife with him.
He didn’t live his life feeding off conspiracy theories on how evil the White race is and how there is a collective guilt for all White people. Many White people died and sacrificed their lives all over the world fighting for the rights of abused populations. For every evil person, I can point a good person that opposed him. And with time many evils have been overcome. That doesn’t mean all Whites are now evil just because you have resentment in your heart. My White side of the family had no problem embracing my dad even though he stuck out.
As for damage to the African American community by Jim Crow and slavery, I am very well aware of it having been involved with the African American community for almost half my life. You sure act like you know all about Whites yet you aren’t White. Your hypocrisy is outstanding. Do you want an opera clap?
I see poor migrants of indigenous and Afro Indigenous descent come to this country every day. Many from exploited experiences themselves. And what do I see here in Atlanta, not just Whites, but Blacks as well, looking down on them, seeing them as second class citizens, as sub human. But I don’t judge all Blacks or all Whites because of those assholes.
So spare me the “You aren’t Black so you don’t know what I have suffered” Shpeel. Most of my beliefs come from interacting with hard working Black men and women who don’t have your mentality and who repudiate it. The Silent Majority. Ever heard of them? The Bill Cosbys, John McWhorters, the Steeles, etc. They were raised in the same community as you and yet came about a whole different mentality. But of course, losers like you will scream Uncle Tom. Anyone who bucks your mindset is a traitor. Shoot, guys like you called my sister a race traitor for standing next to ME.
I am well aware of the Tilden Hayes betrayal and the Black holocaust that followed. It is a unique experience in the Afro Diaspora. But it still doesn’t make all White people evil or having a debt to pay for their ancestors abuses. The reparations paid to Japanese were ONLY paid to living people who were abused, not to their descendants. Same thing goes to German reparations to Jews.
There is a case to be made for reparations but only in very limited circumstances. For those living in Jim Crow who suffered documented pecuniary losses. Because it is provable in court. Like people that were forced out of towns in the Sundown towns. But that does not translate to everyone getting money that asks for a handout. Shoot. if that were so, the Spaniards have a claim against North Africa, Italy, Lebanon, etc. After all, they were conquered by all those people. At some point you have to say,let’s see how we can stop the present discrimination and just make it fair for all those in the future.
So moron. Try again. Plenty of Whites came her after slavery, did not reap any benefits from slavery, do not have any White privilege as Jim Crow is gone, and suffer their own burdens and discrimination.
Go suck on that one.
Comment by AALOVE on 8 January 2009:
I dare you come across with your high and mighty spheech as if though you’re enlighteneing me to somehting that is going on in thos country. Don’t you ever tell me about my conspiracy thoeries jackass when they’ve n=been playing out everyday for the past three and a half centuries. So Spare me your Script about how you work everyday in Atlanta.
Yoy act as if though African Americans shouldn’t complain about out plight in this country when the truth of the matter is, we should have more. It’s not my fault nor my problem that your father came to this country, he should just be gla that he cgot the opprtunity to come Jackass! He didn’t fight the wars that my father and Grandfather fought long before he brought his ass to this country. If you think I’m backing down off of my point, then you got to be crazy! If you don’t like my complaints Asshole, then leave the country that my ancestors built. Cause you’re going to keep hearing more and more complaints. You’re going to keep hearing how much is owed until we are satified. Who the Hell do you think you are trying to lecture me about what I should be greatful for. You don’t know me you fucking prick, and I don’t need you to explain to me what my ancestors have overcome or any aspect of African American Culture or History. You’re not enlightening me, I already grew up with my history, what did you think that you were talking to yo Nigger or something that you felt that you had to explain the good of my people….FUCK YOU!!!
So Mr. Dumbass who thinks you really know African Americans, if you ever heard Bill Cosby, Micheal Eric Dyson, Cornell West or listened to the State of Black America which comes on CNN every year for the past years, you would kno that they think exactly like me. Number 2 Idiot the reason why reparartions was only paid to the Japanese and the Jews for those who wer affected is because it only affected 1 GENERATION JACKASS! African Americans were affected for 19.5 GENRATIONS, THAT’S RUN THE DAMAGE INTO MODERN DAY TIMES. And since you don’t understand the present day ramifications of Slavery and Jim Crow, fools like you think that there is no fallout from the 354years of these two eras. YOU FUCKING UNEDUCATED IDIOT! And till this very day the Jews are still looking for Nazi’s who are alive to bring them to just three genrations later.
You don’t know what you’re talking about, and the real kicker is, is that the Black Folk down there in Atlanta haven’t challenged you with your inaccuraccies and let you believe that you’re right, when in many cases as it proves here on this blog that you’re wrong. You don’t understand nor can you tell the difference between an African American and a Nigger; and I bet that your Dumbass didn’t even know that there was a difference. Did You? You don’t the Characteristics of the 2 Nigger Mentalities do you and how you can detect them in Modern Day times do you? You don’t know the characteristics of the African American Mentailty do you?
So no Moron, I don’t go to countries trying to tell the descendents of the people who built the country that I’m now living in, what’s going on amongst their own people, but obviously you do. No Moron, I don’t think that ALL WHITES are bad, I just know that the European American philosophy in this country is one of White Supremacy and it always has been, something that people like you try to get African Americans to overlook so that we won’t think that the white folk in this country are Full of Shit!
We know them a lot better than you, and our knowledge of them will never go away no matter what Bullshit that you’re shoveling. You think that they’ve changed and we know how they systematically work to hide the evil that they’ve done. WE WILL NEVER BE TREATED LIKE ANIMALS AGAIN YOU MOTHERFUCKER AND IF YOU THINK FOR ONE SECOND THAT WERE LISTENING TO WHIMPERING BITCHES LIKE YOU COMING OVER TO THIS COUNTRY TELLING US HOW WE SHOULD DEAL WITH EUROPEAN AMERICANS; ESPECIALLY THEIR MALE POPULATION YOU’VE LOST YOUR FUCKING MIND!
OBVIOUSLY BEING SILENT NEVER WORKED SO NOW WERE GOING TO BE EVERYTHING THAT YOU’RE BELOVED EUROPEAN AMERICAN MALES NEVER WANTED US TO BE, WHICH IS AFRICAN AMERICAN!
I think you’ve become accustomed to African Americans being real nice while others fucked with us, and cheated us out of what is rightfully ours. Trying to make us feel guilty for the trauma that they’ve inflicted past and present on our people. No one has o prove anything to you, and we don’t owe you an eplanation of our feelings or our pains, casue you don’t know anything about us, no more than what you’ve read along the way.
Comment by AALOVE on 8 January 2009:
And by the Salassin, the white folks who came here after Slavery, benefited and still benefit from Slavery and Jim Crow, because they became apart of European American society. They got the acces to the jobs based off the color of their skin, not the content of their character or education. Oh yeah, the majority of them who came over here after Slavery, helped to discriminate, lynch, persecute and harass African Americans as well. They became apart of White Supremacy in their own way which is why European Americcans today don’t embrace the language and traditions of their native lands of Europe. They openly dropped their ancestral traditions and heritage to become “White”.
Salassin when you write back which I’m sure you will, don’t write back with this B.S about how African Americans like me should stop complaining. And when we view a TRAITOR amongst us, we will call them out, because we know the damage that they cause, you don’t. If you don’t like how I lay things out, that’s just too bad, but you better understand that at this stage in the game, there will be no more backing down and compromising with our enemies.
Comment by Salsassin on 8 January 2009:
So easy to rile up a moron.
You make a lot of claims about White men purposely placing Black women in leadership roles, and waht not. Those a conspiracy theories. Slave owners indeed abused their slaves in many ways. They are well documented. Not the crap you are claiming. I bet you believe in the Willie Lynch letter as well.
There is a difference about complaining about past injustices and their very real effect in the present, and whining about how the White man is against you in general.
My mother is American and has both Tsalagi and European ancestry. They built this country since before your ancestors ever set a foot here. So spare me the victimology. Sorry but abuse is not carried by genetics. It is only as far back as your living relatives. Afro Caribbeans, Afro-Latinos and Africans went through slavery. Many do complain about MODERN injustices that are valid, but they don’t whine about it like you do. Nor do they make it a racial hatred thing. Which is obvioulsy the only reason you came to this site.
Native Americans have suffered as greatly as African Americans and the whole of the Americas was their land. So spare me your claims about my father. He has deeper roots in this land then you ever will have.
Bill Cosby would agree with me. Micheal Eric Dyson, Cornell West are both victimologists. No respect for them.
Listened to the State of Black America which comes on CNN every year for the past years, you would kno that they think exactly like me. Bill Cosby DOES NOT think like you.
Your idiocy is astounding. Jews and Japanese were paid because the victims were still living. Jews didn’t suffer one generation. Go look up history. Look up the Inquisition. While you are at it, go look up the Asian exclusion acts in this country way before WWII. No reparations for that. Because the victims are no longer living.
You say there is a difference in mentalities between an African America and an expletive. You are showing you fall under the expletive. The very one Bill Cosby ranted about.
You act like Emancipation and the Civil Rights movement occurred out of the blue. No White Americans involved in that. Yeah, because all White Americans subscribe to the ideologies you want to blanket people with. You whole post here since the beginning has been ranting at a woman because she didn’t buy into your victimist mentality. A mentality where you further wanted to place blame on Black women for your own insecurities.
So throw a tantrum like a little kid, but don’t try to play the intellectual adult here. JUst rant away like a whining baby and show your real self. Becuase you never wanted dialogue here, you posted to point fingers at Black womena dn the White men they chose to date. GTFOH!!
Nor did all Eurodescent people come here and enjoy White privileges. Many ended up in impoverished situations where they lived at subsistence levels and struggled to make a living. You can’t enjoy glass ceilings if you never even made it in the door. Tell an Appalachian how White privileges have them doing so well. Tell a Latino of Basque or Galician mountain stock that is regarded as a short wet back here, no mater his European ancestry that he is reaping White privilege. And tell him about how much he should go back to his country, when your ancestors where fleeing to his with the Underground Railroad, the Creole Exodus to Veracruz, the Mascogo escape to San Vicente de los Negros, the full acceptance of African Americans in Sport Leagues in Mexico, when the Negro Leagues where all that was available in the US, etc.
Again, If you want to lay down valid claims, like other African American men have very eloquently done so on this thread, go for it, but if your plan is to come and whine about victimism and how the Black woman and the White man are incahoots to oppress you, then yes, I will laugh at you.
Now come back and type some more capital letters and infantile swear words and pretend you are making a point with them. LOL.
Comment by Sweety on 10 January 2009:
Salsassin right on….u’ve made some great points.
AALOVE..u need to change ur name to AAHATE. Where do u find all that time to chat crap….u need to be gainfully employed. This is an interracial dating site, why r u on here if u have no interest in doing dating outside ur race. Yes, I like taking the high road when I come across ignorant folks….sorry to dissapoint u.
Comment by Salsassin on 11 January 2009:
Ok Let’s crunch numbers:
11,219,784 Black women between 18 and 65
10,473,713 Black men between 18 and 65
(US Census)
29,200 Black women in prison between 18 and 65
553,300 Black men in prison between 18 and 65
(US Dept of Justice):
11,190,584 Black women free between 18 and 65
9,920,413 Black men free between 18 and 65
1.3% of Women are gay vs 2.7% of men
National Health and Social Life Survey
1.14% of Black women married to White men vs 3.87% of Black men (Black and White Unions: West Indians and African Americans compared, Suzanne Model):
10,917,534 Black heterosexual free women, 18-65
9,268,642 Black heterosexual free men, 18-65
(This does not include other inter-ethnic unions with Latinos, Asians, etc of which the rate disparity go even higher)
That is a disparity of:
1,648,892 Black women
Women aren’t like cars, but like monogamy, only one driver per car. If all cars are taken, people have to look for cars elsewhere:
One and a half million more Black women than Black men.
Of course it takes two to tango. We already factored out the percentage that has married out of the group, so that means three million plus Black women competing with each other.
Add to this the angst that there are are easily that many women from other ethnicities that are surplus and are willing to date Black men as well as their own ethic groups…
You crunch the numbers. Romance is definitely about individual choices, but choices are based on your selectivity pool. And especially in cities like Atlanta where the disparity is that much more marked, yeah, guys are spoiled.
Now don’t get me wrong. I never stated that it was the only problem. It is one out of many. But it should be factored in. All ethnicities except the Mexican American and Native American pool are facing this.
And let’s not forget other statistics:
2006:
Black Husband: White Wife (286,000), Black Wife (3,965,000), Asian Wife (34,000), Other Wife (45,000)
3.7% of married African American women and 8.4% of married African American men have a non-African American spouse. 6.6% of married African American men, and 2.8% of married African American women, have a Caucasian American spouse. Only 0.1% of married African American women are married to an Asian American man, representing the least represented marital combination; 59.8% more Asian female/African male marriages than Asian male/African female marriages.
Again, there are a ton of other factors, but this is definitely a significant one.
As to the claim that Black men are making more money than Black women, you have to put it in perspective. Black men at the same educational level as Black women make more money: In 2004 black males with a bachelor’s degree had a median income of $40,329, while black women with a bachelor’s degree had a median income of $33,877 (which was still 111% of the $30,413 median income figure for White women ). But Black women go to college at a much higher rate than Black men. In 2004 blacks holding only a high school diploma had a median income of $18,657. So in sheer numbers, Black women make more money than Black men.
As to why Black men date White women, I think there are a ton of factors and each individual case plays a role. Certainly the fact that there is a surplus of non Black women (2 million White women alone) definitely will lead to cross cultural exploration.
Among both Black women and men, just the fact that Whites are the majority group means more exposure to White partners. Statistically speaking it makes sense for interethnic relationships to occur. Black women are below what a neutral dating trend would be. Black men are not dating out of their group in a highly disproportionate number. The vast majority still date inside their group.
To Maggie:
Your assumption is that all Black women act the same or that all White women act the same. That some brothers feed you a line, does not mean it’s true. The fact that you date exclusively outside your own group, also makes me question you own judgment. People who are exclusivists instead of just expanding their dating pool, in my experience tend to be stuck on stereotypes, fetishes, or have some issues with their own group, whether bad experiences or what not that have led them to stereotype their own group.
As to the supposed letter by Black Royalty, that is not a real letter and response. That is a creative writer who was criticizing interracial dating who created both letters. It has been circulating for years.
Obviously the stupid remarks by the lady are a set up. (Although Maggie did sound like a mini version)
But Black Royalty makes a bunch of claims that not only attack Black women but also devolve into a bunch or common racist claims by Afrocentrics.
Let me address some of them:
“Remember, when black Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs.”
Hatsheput lived from 1479–1458 BC and Nitocris I lived from 655 BC and 585 BC.
“150 large earth- and wood-built temples were uncovered across central Europe, the largest complex having been discovered in the area of Dresden, Germany. The structures are dated to between 4800 and 4600 B.C. They were built by a people who lived in villages centered around communal longhouses of up to 150 feet in length. Their civilization raised large herds of animals, gathered grain..”
Somehow I don’t think their residences were caves, nor where they eating raw meat and hunting with clubs.
“It was the black woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the black woman that taught you how to raise your children. It was black women who were breast feeding and raising your babies during slavery.”
Of course the assumption here is that all White females were a part of the slavery trade and that they had Black Mammies in every house. Not very accurate at all.
“I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy more so than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don’t you just be happy with your pale skin?”
The assumption here is that tanning is done to imitate Black people. It is not. In my article on colorism I posted why tanning was popular. It became a symbol of affluence. And the fct that women have the capacity to tan means it is a natural function of the skin. Europeans did not all live in the Nordic tundras. The capacity to tan is a biological compromise of the body which needed to be light in the winters to absorb vitamin D while it needed to be darker in the summer to protect itself from radiation. In the tropics, you need year round protection, hence permanent melanization. Women who tan are basically trying to imitate women who are living the summer fun filled period of their lives. Not another ethnicity.
“Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous?”
For the same reason they have used lipsticks for milenia, etc. Voluptuousness has always been appealing in all areas, and women have existed that have exemplified that voluptuousness . Africa is not unique in having these endowments. This is hardly the same as say women who bleach their skin to conform to Eurocentric beauty standards.
The fact is Black men date White women for many reasons. Some women are easily walked all over. But it isn’t just White women. The number of baby mamas allowing men to freely date among them speaks to men using women across ethnic lines. Black women are not faring that much better.
Many Black men date White women just because of fetishism. Others date them because in the career arenas they have chosen they are exposed to a lot more White women than they are Black women.
As Black men and women get higher education and expand their employment capacities, many end in jobs where they are no longer surrounded by their Black peers, and where it may be common for them to have a lot of Black peers, male or female, to interact with. It can lead to sharing a lot of time and developing common interests with people of the opposite sex that are not from one’s ethnic group. And that is when love can strike.
Then it has nothing to do with fetishes, submissiveness, self-hate, or any of the other wrong hurtful reasons mentioned.
So you really have to judge on a case by case basis instead of making blanket assumptions of why a person, be they male or female, is in an interethnic relationship.
Comment by thekid47 on 11 January 2009:
Ahh, appreciate the generalized ‘crunching of numbers’, however assuming that the data that you are quoting is recent, it only maps roughly to the percentages of male/female within the African American communities.
The disparity, while in absolute numbers seems to be the case, it can be further impacted by, well, myths..beliefs about the ‘other person’, and hence an avoidance of ..well, considering that person.
With regards to your other analysis-you beat me to the punch when there was the discussion of Egyptian Queens-your history of the Middle Dynastic[some hold it to be late Middle Dynastic see Barocas..] Egypt is spot on-relative to Hatshepsut.
I wish that discussions could be held without the revision on history, by the way, the facts are continually being brought out of how in multiple places, you have settlements of humans having about the same technological development.
Regarding the tanning-I think that you might find a variety of reasons why people tan-I don’t see that there is just one.
That being said, interesting points made.
Respects.
Comment by Salsassin on 11 January 2009:
Oh, fully agreed. Just one factor in many. The disparity may actually be less in some cities and more in others. In Atlanta, the disparity is definitely more.
Comment by AALOVE on 12 January 2009:
Sweety all be callng you Tweety until you and answer the questions that I asked you. If you can’t take people asking accurate questions about what you wrote then you shouldn’t blog on here.
Comment by Salsassin on 12 January 2009:
Accurate questions? How about answering this one? In what years where you a slave or living under Jim Crow? How old where you? What was the average income of your family growing up? How can you afford a computer as exploited as you are?
Cause I know a ton of people around the world that would take your exploitation and your living standards in a heartbeat without whining as much.
Comment by AALOVE on 12 January 2009:
As for Assassin, sorry I haven’t had the time to respond to your ignorance cause I was traveling, but here we go I really missed you. It seems as if though our last correspondendecs didn’t make here, but I surely hope these do.
First of all I would like to say that you’ve done your homework on why some African American date outside of their race, but as to your comments on the 8th of January needs to be placed in check. First of all who supposedly debunked the Willie Lynch Letter of 1712? When was it debunked? Expalin this process, because every African American scholar and common person that I know has affirmed it male and female beccause we can see the damages in our families today. Second of all no one has to get you to buy the facts of the present day damage and ramifications that European American males and Slave masters have caused throughout the African American and Carribean cultures, you just don’t see it because 1)You’re not an African American (AFRICAN AMERICAN n. Descendant of the West African Farmers and Warriors who were captured and forced into the European American system of U.S Chattel Slavery 1619- 1863 to build the United States) 2) you do’t want to see it.
No one cares at this point if an African American speaking of the reality of the pain and degradation where in which this country has put our people through causes humiliation and or embarassment to European Americans today, because you brought this on yourselves. You culd have easliy tried to make things right, before you had to start dealing with DOUBLE A’s who were more educated and not afraid of you. You made your beds, so now you can start to lie in them.
You want to call African Americans who hold European Americans accountable for being benefactors and cheerfully living off of the rapes, tortures, murders, thefts, breeding, destruction of African American families and enslavement as people with victim mentalties so that we will in someway feel guilty about bringing up the damage in which you’ve caused, well Homeboy, that ain’t working today.
The truth of the matter is, that you’re people are being held accountable for the Present Day Ramifiacations that come from the 354year eras of U.S. Chattel Slavery and Jim Crow (1619-1973) because you didn’t clean up the mess that your people made, you just tried to live off of it, cover it up and act is though African Americans were crazy for the state in which you left us in, you BIGOT!
As for your mother who is Tsaglai aka Cherokee, Indian, you should have done your homework before you came on here and then you wold have known that the Cherokee Nation don’t mean much to African Americans who know who they were and how they fed themselves. The Cherokee Nation was deeply involved with the enslavement of African Americans, and during the Civi War fought and on the side of the Confederacy to keep African Americans enslaved. So please don’t act as if though the Cherokee Nation deserves any form of respect from African Americans anywhere, because they don’t.
You act as if though the Afro Carribeans, not complaining about reparations is a normal thing, well news flash for you it’s not! They should be complaining as well and the fact that they don’t complain in the lands in which they built is their issue, not ours and in no way reflects te African American position of what we built or how we feel in this country.
For the Jews and Japanese that recieved reparations
1) the Jewish holocaust no matter how horific it was only lasted for 10years at best
2) The Jewish Holocaust happened in Europe not in the United States
3) Jews were compensated for their holocaust by Germany and by Chase Bank
4) The Japanese were paid for thei 6year wrongful incarceration by the United states Government
5) Jews and the Japanese were only effected during their holocaust for a total of 1Generation
African Americans were effected for 19.5 generations
The reason why African Americans haven’t been paid is that the United States cannot afford to lose its most valuable commodity that……US! They are afraid that if African Americans were paid repararations, that many of us would leave them, like how a battered wife leaves her husband. His most valuable treasure was his wife and when she realized how important she was to him she crushed him just by leaving, becuae she is what kept everything together for him, not the other way around.
For the Appalachian comment: Why would an African American feel bad for a European American who at a moments notice can relocate himself to another part of the country and instantly start making more money than the average African American or Latino with less education or experience. Just because the State of Ohio is stupid enough to label them as minorities, doesn’t mean that African Americans are too. If the European Americans don’t want to pick up and move from one deslolate region of the United States to another so that they can flourish than that’s their problem. Remember you’re talking to an African american whose people started the Greatest and longest migration in U.S History so don’t bring that Appalachian crap here. GO tell that to some Black folk who got Nigger Mentalties and don’t know their own history cause that work on them.
Now please remember that no matter how many numbers you crunch to me you ain’t no authority on African/African American Culture or history and that no DOUBLE A has to make anything valid to you, because you are compleltely obsolete to African American culture and our existence past, present and future. You try to act as if though I need to seek your approval so that you’ll believe me like you my Massa. Well Massa you can still Kiss the Crack of My African American Ass. You should be trying to make things better by telling your own people that, African Americans ain’t letting you slide anymore with “It wasn’t me, it was my ancestors” while you’re literally realing the benfits of what my people have made in this country. You can go try that Massa Speech will the Niggers in Atlanata who refuse to speak up and check yo butt when you’re wrong.
Now I know you’re European American behind will have something truly uneducated to say about what you feel is right or wrong about African America or about what I said, so I’ll be happily waiting to hear your convoluted response. Holla Back!
Comment by AALOVE on 12 January 2009:
Assassin:To your respnose that ended up in my e-mail
Comment:
Accurate questions? How about answering this one? In what years where you a slave or living under Jim Crow? How old where you? What was the average income of your family growing up? How can you afford a computer as exploited as you are?
Cause I know a ton of people around the world that would take your exploitation and your living standards in a heartbeat without whining as much.
You’re totally right that there are tons of people who would love to be in the shoes of African Americans? But the truth of the matter is and the real queston that you should is Do they deserve it? Ya see what you just ain’t getting is the simple fact you idiot that African Americans worked for what they have and should have had an inheritance of more than we have right now to hand down to every generation not just this one.
You’re not doing African americans a favor IDIOT, this s what is owed. The United States and the 22 states involved in Slavery need to pay their 777trillion dollar debt to African Americans and no one cares whether you like it or not. THIEF.
32% of the African American population shouldn;t be impoverished (U.S Department of Labor and Statisitics Washington D.C 2008)MAybe the real question is Why are you in the country that my ancestors built, and you really don’t deserve to be here? Who told you that you could live off of my ancestors labor? Ya see my ancestors did the work so that I can be affluent, and I deserve everything that I have and will get unlike people who didn;t work as hard as my people did i.e. yours. So all of your foolish questions of add up to these questions…Do you thnk that African Americans should go after the decendents of Slave Masters and there holdings considering the fact that there all Multi-million and billion dollar companies today? Kind of like what the Jews have done to Germany and Chase Bank in Modern Day times Huh?
What you never anticipated is that African Americans would ever be strong enough to even think about making those that have ate off of our backs, pay for their theft and treatment of us. African Americans fought themselves out of Slavery and Jim Crow Lil guy, so that we would never have to go back……………we ain’t apologizing for it.
Especially since you can’t.
Holla Back!
Wit some more Foolishness
Comment by Salsassin on 12 January 2009:
You must have not researched enough. Go look up Manu Ampim, Jeremiah Moses Wilson, etc.
I’ll just give you one example, but there are a myriad.
Cute definition for African American. I guess hunters gatherers that where captured didn’t count. Only farmers. What about merchants? They weren’t warriors or farmers either. LOL
The only Double A’s may be the size of your breasts. LOL
I already addressed the ridiculousness of holding a whole phenotype set accountable for the actions of perps in a past century. Sorry bub. No can do.
And just because we have the phenotype, we didn’t do anything to clean up oh prejudiced miscreant.
The Tsalagi did do some things that were wrong. SO did many Africans. It was the times. Again, no issue as of today. You can’t blame subsequent generations for the perp’s actions.
As for your claim that the Holocaust only lasted for 10 years, how long did Jim Crow last? How many died? If you bring up slavery, I bring up the inquisition. Burning at the stake and what not.
The Native American Holocaust happened in the Americas. They haven’t got reparations. Get in line. Oops, no living victims. Neither gets the coin.
Chase Bank was directly affiliated with the Nazis. Nice try.
Japanese and Jews were living victims. Where are your living ex slaves?
Appalachians can just pick up and move? LOL. SO why don’t you pick up and move out of the US? Your finances are about the same as theirs. Actually, most of them are probably worse off than you. We can tell you are a spoiled middle class African American.
If that is all you have, you are truly a sad piece of work.
Comment by Salsassin on 12 January 2009:
You aren’t owed anything except a fair shake at opportunity in the future. Sorry bub, no inherited debt from perpetrators in the past. Only entities like the government can be held accountable to correct inequities in the past. And that is what programs like Affirmative Action are for.
Many Afro-Latinos worked a lot harder than African Americans did. But they didn’t get the same advantages the US has given them. So you still haven’t made a valid point. When are you going to ask for reparations from Africa and the Arab states for selling your ancestors off in the first place?
Comment by AALOVE on 13 January 2009:
All my points are very valid Little Assassin, And you’re not going to have African American and Afro Lations go back and forth with eachother on what some European American male thinks, who can’t backup his points in the first place. And since Afro Latinos didn’t build the economy that African Americans have built and clearly didn’t ever suffer in this country, then there really is no debate.
You have no relevant points, so you try to use issues from all around the world to deflect the facts that you’re just a lazy parasite living off the backs of my people from 246years of Slavery and another 108years of Jim Crow.
But one has to question all of your points from Willie Lynch on down. Yeah we know Manu Ampim, and that’s why most African Americans don’t consider him valid on , because his points don’t dismiss the problems that the Willie Lynch letter idientifies within the African American community, if anything they reaffrim the problems that do exist. If you as much as you claim to know you would have known not to use him on this blog as a reference. ANd just because other African American leaders during Slavery didn’t mention his name, doesn’t mean he didn’t exist. There were thousands of Slave masters and Breeders in the U.S and the Carribean some of which were Jewish, some were Pastors of Churches, Sherriffs, Governors and most of them were never mentioned either. Due to European Americans like yourself trying to hide information regarding the tactics and the involvement of U.S corporations and individuals, there will always be new and more potent information that comes out about your wicked system for the next 150years, we are starting to scratch the surface. If you think the Willie Lynch Letter of 1712 is hot, then you you wait till this summer, because there’s rumored to be a manual that makes the Willie Lyncj letter of 1712 look like a letter to a Pen Pal. At this day and and age you will stop the rate nor the potency of the info that is constantly coming forward about U.S Chattel Slavery, Jim Crow and its modern day efects that can easily be seen today in African American families.
What does Inqusition have to do with U.S Chattel Slavery? Answer: Nothing. You are European American male trying to continue to make yourself feel comfortable by living off of the rapes, breeding, totures, murders, theft, and enslavement of African Americans, thinking that what you’re writing on this blog is going to stop African Americans from coming for your ass and taking what’s rightfully ours. When did you think that you were going to determine what we were going to get. And the U.S hasn’t given any advantages that we haven’t already paid for 100x over. But in your case with your lazy ass, when did you think that you deserved to be here? When do you want to meet so you can say all of this foolishnss that you bring to the table face to face? I’m sure I’ll run into relatively soon. You still haven’t answered my questions as to why are you in the country my ancestors built? You still think that your the Massa don’t you? I think its time that you prove your worth here.
You talk about Affirmative action well Bigot,with Affirmative Action 80% of all Affirmative Action benefits benefit European American women then DOUBLE A’s and Latinos. Idiot why would anyone ask for reparations from Africa or the Arabs when the Catholic Church is the one that initiated the entire Chattel Slave Trade you fool. Again trying to avoid the einvolvement of your own people in the destruction of others. Never admitting that you need make right what you’ve made so terribly wrong.
So little white boy what you need to do is prove to me why someone should listen to you?
What part of Atlanta do you live in?
Comment by EbonyQueen on 31 January 2009:
Thank you NubianJem for sharing that article with us. I thoroughly appreciated it. I recall reading it but forgot where. It seems as if mostly everyone has made some valid points. I love black men and I’m a black woman. I recently saw such a surge in black men dating white woman that I was seriously appalled. I know there is nothing wrong with ‘us’, but wondered why it was such a trend for black men and still is…and in asking black men time and time again the answer is repeatedly just as the Sister2Sister gentleman said…read the article, it’s great!
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 12 February 2009:
Dear Sal
Your full of shit. White people have benefited from laws that have protected for a long time. They can to reap those benefits while you blame black people for their circumstances in life. You should thank your sweet ass for white privilege.
Now the country is in a recession the sins of the past can be forgotten because some white people are heading to the “bread line.”
I have never been the one to blame white people for anything. I grew up in Woodside Queens NYC when it was acceptable to bully “other races” until they rose up and kicked your ass and send you to the suburbs (White flight as they call it).
So do not get self righteous on here and talk about “Black people enslaved other people.” Yea, I don’t recall black people making laws saying your “property” or even segregating people by making them drink at different water fountains.
Programs for affirmative action was because white people were discriminating against African Americans and taking their money when it came to good and services. That was partly why black people fought for their rights. While you enjoyed the privileges of your white skin.
I really don’t give a fuck if you think I got my degree because of affirmative action or my job. As long as I continue to make money at my profession. I just laugh all the way to the bank white bitch!
Good day.
Oh yea sellout black women can kiss your ass for all I care too.
http://mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/
Comment by Salsassin on 13 February 2009:
Dear Drag queen,
The only shit is the diarrhea in your brain.
Some White people did indeed benefit from White privilege during Jim Crow and other apartheid regimes. Not all did, nor did all descendants or all people that happened to look like them.
You blame the perp, not everyone in the line up.
On the same token, man up and assume blame for your own problems. Your victimism is highly entertaining.
Sorry bub, I didn’t grow up in Jim Crow or in this country for that matter so no White privilege for me. But with the race card as heavily played as it is today, while some Blacks definitely suffer from discrimination, others benefit from coattailing and victimism from a massive case of White Guilt in this country where Blacks can do no wrong and Whites have to feel guilty for being born. GTFOH. Thank god my dad didn’t have that mentality and my mom’s white family had no problem with him.
You may not recall Blacks claiming people as property or segregating them, but you obviously did not read up on the Barbary states much.
I don’t think you got your job through affirmative action. I think you are too dumb to have any job worth anything. Keep trolling
Comment by Salsassin on 13 February 2009:
Oh shit, you’re the cable guy. LMAO!!!
Comment by sweetsusie on 13 February 2009:
OMG……this conversation is definitely getting worse. I have one thing to add……and that is……I came here from the Caribbean and I was discriminated against by so many black folks the moment they learn that I was not born here. That was a long time ago and there r still instances that I get the ‘third world’ stare and lecture. I find it so ridiculously strange that black folks here complain so much about discrimination even to the point of digging up history, and they do the same even today to their very own. Call me crazy, but it blows my mind.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 14 February 2009:
I guess that was directed at me.
“Man up”, I suggested you “man up” and visit the black community you hate so much. Perhaps, you just hate black men in general. You mention “some white people” benefited from “White skin privilege”. I tend to disagree with your sentiments.
I just stated my opinion, you seem to dislike so much. You mention not blaming everyone in the “line up”, yet you say I suffer from victimization. I never said I was a victim. If anything, I took advantage of the what the United States gave me as a Jamaican immigrant and became a successful college graduate. Perhaps you do not live in the real world that I do.
I can wear a suit and tie and an old white lady will still clutch her bag. Now would you call me the victim or her? I don’t live in fear of people with “darker skin” than me unlike you.
As for the Barbary States, what about them? That is what always strikes me about pasty people like you. Your making the comparison of my race enslaving people to yours doing it. I don’t recall not allowing a enslaved white person to read and calling them “property”, you show me that in the history books. You show me where black people enslaved people and “stripped them over their culture like they did Native Americans”.
Go back to Appalachia and sleep with your cousin pussy.
We all know your the victim because you lock your doors at night because of black men like me.
Let’s not talk about who the victim is.
Since I am in such a good mood I bought my fiancee a ring. An expensive one from Zales for Valentine’s day. Oh shit, I am victim, where did I get the money to buy it!
Good day to you.
http://mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/
Comment by Salsassin on 14 February 2009:
Andrew, the Cable Guy, don’t make me laugh.
I live in a Black and Latino community, my apartmentmate is Black and most of friends are Latino and Black. Again your mental victimism shows. I don’t hate the Black community at all. I can’t stand the victimists within it that make the rest look bad. Same thing goes with the Latino community.
You may have taken advantage of the help that was offered, but you are still a mental slave. The Old White lady may clutch her bag because of the subconscious vibes you give off of antagonism to White people in general. Fact is, there is a higher percentage of crimes commited by certain sub groups of Blacks and Latinos. The fact is, even law abiding Blacks and Latinos are weary of Black and Latino criminality.
Contrary to you, I don’t live in fear of anyone. Your fear is that all White people are secretly trying to undercut you.
I am always amused by ashy people like you making big assumptions. I don’t recall races existing. I don’t recall slaves not being allowed to read or calling them property. Why don’t I recall. Because recalling is based on personal experience. And none of that happened in any century and location I lived in. Of course if I lived in countries that still practice slavery in Africa maybe I would recall something like that. Of course I don’t attribute what one people do to all people that happen to look like them. But you do. So attribute that one on yourself.
I don’t live in Appalachia, and the last girl I fucked was Jamaican, so she was probably your cousin.
Why would I lock my door because of guys like you? I unlock the door and let you fix my cable box.
Glad you could buy your fiancee a ring. Hope the interest on your credit card doesn’t kill you.
Maybe you should stop claiming you are single on message boards and stop trying to pick up other women. Oh wait. You think you are cool because you are a “playa”.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 14 February 2009:
Dear Sal
You said this
“live in a Black and Latino community, my apartmentmate is Black and most of friends are Latino and Black. Again your mental victimism shows. I don’t hate the Black community at all. I can’t stand the victimists within it that make the rest look bad. Same thing goes with the Latino community.”
You can’t stand the victims in our community that makes us look bad. Well that is your opinion. I think people do the best they can in this society. Many black people value education and instill that in their children. If you were to ask the so-called people that make us “look bad”, if they are a victim. They would say no. It seems to me your a victim of your own elitism.
Let’s see what else you said….
“Contrary to you, I don’t live in fear of anyone. Your fear is that all White people are secretly trying to undercut you.”
Actually white people feel we are undercutting them by the affirmative action program you said previously or alluded to. The argument is affirmative action “gives unqualified black people jobs”. Since the Civil Rights acts was enacted for a reason.(Read up on it) It sure wasn’t enacted to give unqualified blacks jobs. That was my main argument.
You said this and it was amusing……..
“I am always amused by ashy people like you making big assumptions. I don’t recall races existing. I don’t recall slaves not being allowed to read or calling them property. Why don’t I recall. Because recalling is based on personal experience. And none of that happened in any century and location I lived in. Of course if I lived in countries that still practice slavery in Africa maybe I would recall something like that. Of course I don’t attribute what one people do to all people that happen to look like them. But you do. So attribute that one on yourself.”
Listen if you do not know what “White Privilege” than you can stick to your lame argument about never “personally owning a slave”. You suffer from the victimization you speak of. Didn’t you just say “that people in our community make us look bad.” What exact community is that and what authority told you that “it makes you look bad’? I guess it would be white society telling you these messages. Wait you have “Black and Latin friends” so that makes you the authority on black people.
Let’s see what else you said……
“I don’t live in Appalachia, and the last girl I fucked was Jamaican, so she was probably your cousin.”
No wonder she was “past tense”, if you expected me to get offended I am not. Jamaican women are headaches. I heard she emptied your wallet.
You said this….
“Glad you could buy your fiancee a ring. Hope the interest on your credit card doesn’t kill you.”
I don’t use credit cards. I pay cash or debit. I am good financially; I can’t complain my cowardly friend.
You said this……………..
“Maybe you should stop claiming you are single on message boards and stop trying to pick up other women. Oh wait. You think you are cool because you are a “playa”.”
HAA Was that a self righteous comment I can’t tell? Claiming single lol. That was real gay , Mr I fucked a Jamaican woman’s ASHY ass. LOL Hey tough guy you liked the ashy ass of a Jamaican woman lol haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
I have to go. lol.
http://mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/
Comment by sugarspice on 14 February 2009:
MrLaureltonQueens
I am a Jamaican and am very disturbed by how egotistic u r. U r on a very high horse. God help u when u fall. U r so full of ur rasscloth self. U r up in everybody business. I read ur blog and I think u need to go find a job. U sound like dem maama man……..always a gossip bout woman. So u buy ur girl a ring and the whole world have to know. That’s the problem with u black men….neva si come si…..I’m a sell out so what….I can date who I want…..ur shit caan mek patty……..memba dat when u a try fi discriminate gainst other people. U mentioned that u have been discriminated against and since u know what it feels like, why do u choose to do the same. U also said that Jamaican women are headaches and u think they r thieves.(snatch wallet) Another example of discrimination…..U r Jamaican and u talk bad about Jamaican women and u r railing up about sell outs……struuups. Gimmi a bloodcloth break. Idiot bwoy.
Comment by Salsassin on 14 February 2009:
Dear Cable Guy,
Nice try. Most people that are self accomplished aren’t talking all day about how they are victims of the Man or starting blogs about Black women that are sell outs. or what not. Only the ones with a victim mentality that always blame others have that mentality. You fit the bill. That is not elitism, that is just common sense.
I do not criticize valid affirmative action. That is your own stupid assumption. Of course the affirmative action was meant to help African Americans, not Jamaican immigrants. Sadly foreigners who never had slave ancestors in this country, who never had family in Jim Crow are profiting from “racial” Affirmative action, more than the people who had a valid historical gripe with this government. But again you show your assumptions. Most White people support affirmative action. If not it would have been voted down in congress and you would be SOL.
You can play the victimist mentality all you want, but I won’t coddle you. Sorry but in today’s America there is no “White privilege” There are groups that are predominantly White that are privileged but not all White groups belong or participate in those privileges.
Again, you make assumptions because you live in a myopic tunnel vision world where you see everything in Black and White. Your stupidity. I say us, because I am Latino and of Creole ancestry. My mom is White, my dad is not. I was raised by my dad. So go make more assumptions to show case your stupidity even more.
LOL. Contrary to you, I don’t hate on any part of my family. You obviously hate on your female Jamaican side. Typical misogynist. No she did not empty my wallet. That must be how you date. Your “fiancee” charges you the hour.
Yeah, you pay cash for imaginary fiances and their rings, claiming to be good financially when you just graduated from SUNY and are working as a cable guy. And you claim to be engaged but you are still trying to pick women up in Black sites like Blackplanet.
Yeah, tell me about how great you are doing in life.
It is entertaining when fools make claims they are happily engaged when they are still searchng on other sites.
“I am 30 years old with no kids and a BS in criminology/sociology from SUNY Old Westbury. I am also pursuing an A.S in Office Technology Medical Billing (I will be done Jan 09). My main focus now is my career and working for Time Warner Cable. I try to fit time in for dating, but sometimes your just so busy, you can hardly make time.
So what do i like in a woman is, she has to be independent and attractive. I do not like a needy woman with baggage and insecurity. I am open to talking to a woman with kids, but eventually I want my own kids; so if she does not want kids, than I may not be the man for her.”
Last Login Feb 7
Location Jamaica, NY
Relationship Status Single
Yep, that must have been a whirlwind romance. Right after you got over your sellout Black woman that had you start a whole blog about it. LOL
“MR LAURELTON QUEENS
A LIVELY DISCUSSION ON THE DESPERATION OF SELLOUT BLACK WOMEN”
Let me guess, your ex was Jamaican and she dumped you for a White guy
Victimist to the end.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 15 February 2009:
Dear Sal
Thank you for putting up my biography. That is why there is a link for my blog in the first place.
Nothing I do is imaginary. In the context of writing my blog my personal life may come up. Some people think I don’t have a life outside of my blog. Since I have been writing about sellout black women for 3 years, most of which was on craigslist. There is always people that have assumptions about me. I fully accept it and talking about my personal life makes readers understand the man behind the blog.
It is quite interesting you keep bringing up victimization. Yet in my own biography you don’t see any victimization. But if you want to stick to that statement be my guest.
You said this in your rebuttal…………….
“I do not criticize valid affirmative action. That is your own stupid assumption. Of course the affirmative action was meant to help African Americans, not Jamaican immigrants. Sadly foreigners who never had slave ancestors in this country, who never had family in Jim Crow are profiting from “racial” Affirmative action, more than the people who had a valid historical gripe with this government. But again you show your assumptions. Most White people support affirmative action. If not it would have been voted down in congress and you would be SOL.”
I would have to disagree with you. If there is a program out there for you can apply and take advantage of it. If you choose not to research to see the programs that are available then you are to blame. I am not a liberal person that believes all black people do no wrong. I just think your a self righteous coward that uses ” I got a friend that is black or hispanic” excuse to mask you dislike for minorities. Your white privilege seems to make you think that everyone should ‘think like you” because you have white skin. Since you say your creole or whatever you are. You would fall under the definition of a self hating negro.
You made a comment about most white people support affirmative action. Actually most white people do not support affirmative action. They supported the Civils Right Act.
You said also said……………….
“You can play the victimist mentality all you want, but I won’t coddle you. Sorry but in today’s America there is no “White privilege” There are groups that are predominantly White that are privileged but not all White groups belong or participate in those privileges.”
We can do a poll if you want. Would you rather be an urban poor black person or “stay” a poor white Appalachian person. Tell me the results of what the poor whites say.
Let’s see what else you said………………
“LOL. Contrary to you, I don’t hate on any part of my family. You obviously hate on your female Jamaican side. Typical misogynist. No she did not empty my wallet. That must be how you date. Your “fiancee” charges you the hour.”
LOL You making me laugh over here. Mr Past Tense I WAS with a Jamaican Woman. Call me misogynist lol, go get you another ashy Jamaican woman again and tell me how that turns out.
My fiancee is not Jamaican but I am sure your last Jamaican girlfriend “charged you”.
You also said this
“Yeah, you pay cash for imaginary fiances and their rings, claiming to be good financially when you just graduated from SUNY and are working as a cable guy. And you claim to be engaged but you are still trying to pick women up in Black sites like Blackplanet.”
There you go again stop it. That is real gay. Even I don’t snitch. Stop getting in the gutter.
I should change the status to engaged I am lazy lol. Since my fiancee asks me to do it so much lol.
You also said this
“Let me guess, your ex was Jamaican and she dumped you for a White guy
Victimist to the end.”
My blog came out last year. I was on Cl rants and raves three years. Never had an ex girlfriend date a white boy lol.
You did your best though.
Let me respond to the Jamaican girl up top. She said this………….
“I am a Jamaican and am very disturbed by how egotistic u r. U r on a very high horse. God help u when u fall. U r so full of ur rasscloth self. U r up in everybody business. I read ur blog and I think u need to go find a job. U sound like dem maama man……..always a gossip bout woman. So u buy ur girl a ring and the whole world have to know. That’s the problem with u black men….neva si come si…..I’m a sell out so what….I can date who I want…..ur shit caan mek patty……..memba dat when u a try fi discriminate gainst other people. U mentioned that u have been discriminated against and since u know what it feels like, why do u choose to do the same. U also said that Jamaican women are headaches and u think they r thieves.(snatch wallet) Another example of discrimination…..U r Jamaican and u talk bad about Jamaican women and u r railing up about sell outs……struuups. Gimmi a bloodcloth break. Idiot bwoy.”
Listen lickle gal, tap ya noise about me talking about Jamaican woman. Your ras clot love the white man and im money and everybody know that. Take your pusshole back to the bush.
LOL
I am out
http://mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/
Comment by Cloe27 on 15 February 2009:
WTF! I can not believe this post is still going on and that it’s taken such an ugly turn. Tsk, tsk, tsk.
Sugaspice, girl, stay outta this. Let these men sword fight with their penises. This is not discussion for ladies. It was but now it’s a penis swinging contest.
Really “MEN”? Are we discussing our last sexual encounters with “ashy-assed” women. Are we naming calling and accusing one another of having sex with relatives on an interracial dating website?! Are YOU really?!
Frankly, this has been downright disrespectful to all the women on this site because some of you A-holes(except Mr.L’oreal/cabledude) are searching for better halfs. What chances do we have amongst men who are playing the “my penis is bigger than yours” game?
I have one thing to say…get it together, men. Seriously, get IT the fuck together!
Comment by Salsassin on 15 February 2009:
So you have been writing about interethnic relationships attacking Black women for three years. That must be when the Jamaican woman dumped you.
I see victimization in all your posts, not just your blog.
Only a fool wouldn’t take advantage of a leg up in education. I was just too lazy to put in all those applications. I did get a scholarship to law school and my biggest recommendation came from the Frank Hale, House of Black Culture at Ohio State.
So if they applied AA on me, I don’t know. I never checked any Black box because that would be ridiculous. I may be Afrodescent, but the European and Indigenous side is predominant in my genetics. Culturally I am equally of all three influences as the Bantu/Malgache/Congo side played as big a role as that of the Spanish and the Quechua/Mochica.
Can’t be self hating if I’m not Black and never had White Privilege, sorry. If anything, looking Anglo in the neck of the woods I grew up in, it was a liability.
“Myth 4: The public doesn’t support affirmative action anymore.
Public opinion polls suggest that the majority of Americans support affirmative action, especially when the polls avoid an all-or-none choice between affirmative action as it currently exists and no affirmative action whatsoever (see Table 1). For example, a Time/CNN poll found that 80% of the public felt “affirmative action programs for minorities and women should be continued at some level” (Roper Center for Public Opinion, 1995a). What the public opposes are quotas, set-asides, and “reverse discrimination.” For instance, when the same poll asked people whether they favored programs “requiring businesses to hire a specific number or quota of minorities and women,” 63% opposed such a plan (Roper Center for Public Opinion, 1995b). As these results indicate, most members of the public oppose racial preferences that violate notions of procedural justice — they do not oppose affirmative action. ”
Seems you are wrong as usual.
We can do a poll if you want. Would you rather be a poor white Appalachian person or “stay” an urban poor black person. Tell me the results of what the poor blacks say.
Sorry bub, don’t confuse yourself with the beautiful Jamaican woman I was with. You may be ashy, but she was anything but. Your supposed fiancee is probably a woman you found who hates White men so now you feel safe. LOL
You were in the gutter when you started your little cruzade three years ago. Snitching? Oh, your fiancee posts here? But thanks for admitting it’s true.
Your status isn’t simply single. Your whole description is about seeking women.
Keep showing how sad you are.
Comment by Salsassin on 15 February 2009:
Cloe, I apologize. I was just word sparring with the kid. I just used “ashy” as a counter point to “pasty”
I d not believe all White people are pasty nor do I believe all Black people are ashy. I was just pointing out how dumb the labels were by showing the other foot. None of the girls I have dated have been ashy. Can’t say the same thing about his fiancee. LOL
Just remember that when I word spar, I have no problem retaliating with equivalent insults. They are directed solely at the person being insulted and not a description of any generic group.
It’s all for fun. And the women I date already know that about me. I’m an avid debater online, but quite chill offline. Unless someone bring the subjects up.
Comment by sugarspice on 15 February 2009:
Chloe I totally agree with u, however as a Jamaican I couldn’t help but to put my two cents in. I know it is a total disrespect for women on a whole, but just the mere fact that these conversation to that whole Jamaican term.
As for u MsLaurelqueenie if u r from the bush in Jamaica, I am sorry to hear to that. Everytime u post on here, u just make us Jamaicans look bad. I am proud to be Jamaican….I was educated in Jamaica and everything I own I acquired in Jamaica. That is the way u talk about ur country and its women???……mmmmmmm……and u talk about sellout? Go look in the mirror.
Nobody wants to hear about u buying a ring for ur fiancee forever. If u r getting married that is a good thing, so why r u on a single website..not to mention an interracial website. As I said before….neva si …come si. I know….the truth hurts…..sorry maaaama man
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 15 February 2009:
I decided to come back and comment.
Since people put there two cents in the conversation. I don’t have to defend if I am Jamaican or not. I was born there (Port Antonio) and I am proud of where I come from. Sometimes people can’t distinguish me being sarcastic or not on a blog. Therefore, I don’t give really care if you don’t like my sense of humor. That’s funny I wasn’t the one that said He FUCKED a Jamaican woman. He said it like it was an accomplishment. Where is the outrage in that? I am not a person to cry about who jump on which side in an argument.
I responded back to “ashy comments” that was said to me. If you don’t like me personally that’s your problem. As for the topic at hand, I will stick to my original comments.
Unless your born in Jamaica the Island. Then maybe I will accept criticism.
By the way, Jamaican men say things about Jamaican women all the time. Read the Jamaican Gleaner and look up the archives.
“Mi no haf to explain nutin pusshole”
By the way everybody talk about why I mention my fiancee. It goes from I have no life to me talking about sellout black women. In the context of my new post called The St Valentine’s Day Massacre. My personal life came up in general talk. Shit I might share my stories about my life if I deem fit.
Listen if you don’t got a Valentine, I understand your upset about it.
I will try to be more sympathetic about it.
I am serious though she loved the ring. She was tearing up.
LOL
“Take it easy”
http://mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/
Comment by sugarspice on 15 February 2009:
MrLaurelquee
I am glad u came back and yes I am from Jamaica the island…….St. Catherine(the largest parish). Yes, I am single at this point and that is why I am on a dating website….can’t say the same about you. Thanks for ur honesty in saying that u move from having no life to a fiance….God knows…I am happy for u…I’m just sorry for her…….Listen to the way u talk about women. I hope u don’t make the statistics of black men going to jail for domestic violence. I do have a sense of humour….scrap that….I have a great sense of humour and that’s why I laugh at everything u said, but the disrespecting Jamaican women part….no way…that shows hypocrisy. The fact that other Jamaican men disrespect their women don’t mean that it is OK…..so there is no excuse. I am from Jamaica and I know it happens and that is the main reason why I decided to ’sell out.’ A lot of that comes from poverty and lack of education and seeing that u got the great opportunity to leave the bush and get a wonderful education……..I expect better than that from u. Now that u might become a father soon…….lol. U have to be a good example to ur kids…..especially if it is a bwoy. I can tell ur a fake Jamaican cause we don’t say ‘pusshole’………….LMAO
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 15 February 2009:
LOL
I was born there and raised in the United States since I was two years old. LOL That don’t make me fake. That just makes me “americanized”. Your from St Catherine Parish. You should stick with your brethren and stop chase down white man.
My fiancee is feeling sorry too for being with me LOL. You can’t help who you love. For the record people think I am talking bad about black women. People reserve their own opinions about their own race of women. It doesn’t mean I hate any of them. I have been disappointed in some of the things Jamaican women have done in the past.
I understand some come from extreme poverty and must do things to survive. I was lucky to be born in a middle class Jamaican family. At the end of the day I am product of my father’s upbringing.
He said ” Rule your woman or she will rule you”. That is very true and that is how you have to handle black women, in particular, Jamaican women.
I am not going to sugar coat anything. No black woman wants a soft man. If they say they do, they are lying.
I work hard everyday and provide my family and fiancee. I am not a perfect man but I am upfront. You better cook and do laundry. If you feel that you “to good for that”. Get a white man and have him take you out to eat everyday. Bringing your poor white man to Applebees, Olive Garden 5 days a week.
You ‘ratid Jamaican women” are funny.
At the same time I can admire the strategy that Jamaican women do. Unlike African American women they don’t say ” I am independent I don’t need man”.
Jamaican women will use a man to get to the top. My mother said the other day. You can’t have a Jamaican woman because you won’t pay for her hair and nails to get done. ” You mean like you daddy”.
I told my mom look this “generation” of Jamaican woman are ruthless. LOL
When I say they use sex as a weapon. I mean they really do it and have no remorse at all.
That is not me bad mouthing them. I accept how some Jamaican women are and I just don’t fall for the game that’s all.
Take it easy.
Pusshole lol I don’t speak the “patois” that good.
Comment by sugarspice on 16 February 2009:
U know what I am glad u calm down. Mama is always right……..if u mean like u daddy….u r definitely gonna have problems with us……..lol….Yes, we need our hair and nails to be done and we don’t like paying for it. We can’t help it cause the men spoil us. That’s the reason why I do not like black american men…they don’t spend money on us….all they do is pay or dinner…..shoot, I can cook dinner……I need money, to go shopping, do my hair, do my nail etc. Ur right, we don’t do that independent thing. I am educated and have a good job, but a man got to take care of his woman …..full stop. Sorry, i get better treatment from the white men……that’s what I am use to and wherever the good treatment is I am naturally gonna gravitate towards it. who wouldn’t? and it does not mean that i love money. I have been with men who have hit hard times and I stick it out with them cause they have been good in the past and know times will get better. I know that not a lot of other women do that, but if u r in love, u will stick it out with ur man. We don’t snatch wallet and run and no……we r not money lovers. It is just our culture…….Jamaican men love to tak care of their women and it is not our fault. So since u r really ‘american’,if u had met a Jamaican woman in the past and she asked u about money and all a that…. u shouldn’t have thought the worse about her and yes, she is gonna leave you if u r mean………sorry bro….that she left u for that…….LMAO
I’m outa here.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 16 February 2009:
Dear Sugar
I would have to agree with you. Jamaican women are not shy about telling you what the role of a man is. Actually the traditional role is to take care of the woman. As far as getting her nails and hair done that is very true. Quite often Jamaican women will be with a married man because they get what they want and “they continue to have their freedom”.
Not all Jamaican women do that but you can’t put it past them. Yea Jamaican women have stated they don’t black american men. They don’t “americanized” Jamaican men also.
In my lifetime, Jamaican women are sweet women but you got to leave them in the mistress category. Don’t expect them to change much. But see men get caught up fucking a Jamaican women and their mind get all messed up. Then they think they can change her.
As for the white boy he is often the perfect victim for Jamaican women. They let their dick control them.
No Jamaican don’t snatch your wallet. They get you to give them your wallet.
As for Jamaican women leaving me. It happened once but that situation was because I was incapacitated at the time. The rest of the Jamaican women I have been with before I was engaged I treated them accordingly.
You got to understand I was raised around Jamaican women. It’s very rare to find one that “trust men”. I was talking to my friend one day. Jamaican women can juggle several men and never get caught.
Black american girls do that but afterawhile they fall flat on their face and end up with nobody helping them. Again they let their emotions get to them. I rarely see Jamaican women show their cards or “get off their game”.
Comment by sugarspice on 16 February 2009:
U r damn funny……..I have to agree with u on everything u said. Thanks for the compliment….we r very sweet….if u don’t cross us. I stop playing around with men now cause they keep chasing me…..saying that was the best sex and when I am done with u……stick a fork in me………I AM DONE…..I’ve had my glory days….getting house and car out of men….can’t get that from these american men. So them keep their money and mi keep my honey. Not playing games….but ur right….I showed my friend ur comments and she is cracking up……..LMAO.
Comment by Salsassin on 16 February 2009:
I’m glad the Jamaican women I have dated weren’t as stereotypical as you guys describe. LOL
Damn, you both make all Jamaican women sound like gold diggers.
LOL
Comment by sugarspice on 16 February 2009:
Salsassin sorry that miss out on all the drama of a typical Jamaican girl……………….LOL
Comment by Salsassin on 25 March 2009:
Oh shit, I missed AALove’s last post when I debated with Laurelton.
I see your lack of logic didn’t disappoint. You state that Afro Latinos didn’t this economy, so they don’t have a say. Neither did White Latinos exploit Blacks in this economy, yet you put them in the equation. The point remains that Afro-Latinos experience the same discrimination African Americans do in this country, yet they do not carry the same stigmas you do. Slavery was abolished there over 150 years ago and we never had Jim Crow. And my family descends from European, Native and African. SO we don’t owe shit to anyone.
You can make a ton of claims of probabilities, but you have yet to show one credible bit of evidence that Willie Lynch existed. I already pointed out why colorism existed way before Willie Lynch.
“Light skin vs. dark skin colorism basically arose from a few factors.
One is from actual native traditions that have been common the world over. Upper class in almost all continents has avoided tanning and it’s damage to the skin, while the working class toiled on the fields and had rich tans. So early in history there has been a tradition of colorism through out many civilizations including Africa of darker (as in tanned) being frowned on. But over millennia it has lead to many favoring lighter skin for the obvious reason that it enhanced that difference.
In the industrial world, that trend has actually been reversed to a degree, as tans became a sign of wealth and an active life style. So now we are seeing a trend where medium complexions are the most favored. Not too light and not too dark.
That is one factor.
Second ancient trend:
As farming started to develop, so did concentrated settlements. But originally farming diets where not that healthy or balanced. In fact, fact they blocked a lot of absorption of much needed Vitamin D. So you see a slight lightening of the skin in farming populations vs. hunter-gatherers. Obviously when diets became more balanced, this was no longer a major issue, but it did lead to a slight lightening of populations through the entire Fertile Crescent, North Africa, China and India. Think of Middle Eastern and North African people today. This may have lead to the prior trend I mentioned of upper class vs. lower class, but also between populations.
By the way, overall, women are also lighter than men for the same reason. They need more vitamin D during gestation, so except for the places of highest radiation, women tend to have developed slightly lighter skin than men.
So those are global trends that have existed.
Particular to the Americas and Africa:
In Africa you have the lighter skinned populations of North Africa, but you also have the Arab slave traders since 100 AD who excursioned through out Africa and also mixed in many places. Many of their progeny also continued the slave trade creating dichotomies of darker vs. lighter as seen to this day in places like Sudan and the Maghreb.
In the US and Latin America:
Many of the first Africans to come to the US where freemen, not slaves, and there where no miscegenation laws so many mixed with European descent people. As well as some migrants from the Northern parts of Africa. As free people they also were able to develop and accumulate generational wealth. You see a lot of their descendants in old lineage upper class Black America in New England as well as well as parts of the south with the Gens de Colour. SO you had the dichotomy of the freeman vs. the slave who was brought predominantly from the darker regions of Africa like Angola. And unfortunately this led to a second dichotomy. You had the mulatto and light skinned Black populations that were predominantly lighter (comparatively) and you had the predominantly darker slave populations.
You also had a trend for a while of giving more rights to Indian populations who were comparatively lighter and whose children with Whites were also classified as mulatto in early America. So that added to that dichotomy.
That was the base of colorism.
Add to that, in slavery, contrary to popular urban mythology, it wasn’t being Black that made you a slave; it was who your mother was. Matrilinealism. So, there where many slaves who descended from the Irish slaves that were brought over who were predominantly women. Many slave masters would favor mixed descent slaves, not because of some false Willie Lynch Machiavellian plan, but simply because they resembled them more. Subconscious comfort zones. (Of course, this was not always a bonus. Many times lighter skinned slaves would get the wrath of the female spouse because they were suspected as illegitimate children of the slave master and evidence of his infidelity. Or many times they were victimized as rape victims at higher rates when they were available because they carried trends of beauty that were more Eurocentric as well as Afrocentric trends of beauty.)
Ultimately though, all these populations got integrated during Jim Crow and many of these trends remained subconsciously, or in many cases just the perception of those differences. Unappreciation of the darkest women. (Both because of light skin and dark skin dichotomy and gender difference in colors dichotomy where lighter skin is seen as more feminine where darker is seen as more masculine)
And with the trend reversal in industrialized nations, the real light skins lost a lot of their appeal as being seen as unhealthy, white trash, etc. So the media has glorified medium complexions. From the tanned golden Eurocentric look (either by tan or by regular pigmentation) to the mahogany type complexions that you see predominantly in Black media all the time. You rarely see the lightest and darkest complexions in Black media.
These subconscious biases are of course completely inaccurate and based on millennia of feudalistic societies. Dark skin is actually healthier than light skin, in many ways, and is less susceptible to the ravages of solar radiation. (It also is at larger risk for developing melanomas that are detected at much more advanced stages though), so in terms of ageless beauty, dark skinned women have the upper hand. (Another reason many of the lighter skinned populations may have stayed out of the sun and “prided” themselves on their light skinned beauty. They had to stay out of the sun if they wanted to maintain it, or wrinkle up a lot quicker).
In today’s, world, all those ancient reasons for colorism are just plain stupid. But unfortunately we are still dealing with many of the subconscious biases that are perpetuated by culture to this day.
I have dated African women who are extremely beautiful in their dark complexions, yet I really don’t see them in represented in the Black media in the US. And I have seen light skinned beautiful Black women who are also rarely represented. Usually they have to sport a tan at least. If they have more Eurocentric facial features, then Eurocentric beauty standards apply as she is appealing to the larger community, but if the woman is light skinned and has more Afrocentric features, she faces the uphill battle of people thinking she has colorism privileges because she is light (Even though medium toned complexions are far more popular) and discrimination because she has more Afrocentric features as well. I’ve actually conducted experiments with facial features (Yes I studied social psychology and anthropology so these issues interest me) and have taken a broad featured darker skinned woman (more Afrocentric beauty) and a light skinned thin featured woman (more Eurocentric beauty) and digitally created all the facial features possible in between them from medium complexions and medium width phenotypes to light skinned faces with broad features, to dark skinned faces with thin features to combined broad and thin features with all three skin tones. In controlled tests of peoples tastes (you see two images, and you choose one, then you go to the next, same thing) Overall the medium complexioned medium ranged facial featured women always got the most hits) So obviously colorism does play a role, but so does facial structure biases, and the ones that are getting the most attention are not the lightest, but the medium complexioned looks with medium features.
Sad, but that is the way perception is today. Personally, I find beauty in all skin color ranges and facial structure ranges. And hopefully with time these biases will diminish and disappear. “
I am well aware of the exploitation of Chattel slavery and its evils. And the people who perpetuated it are not the people alive today. So you still don’t have a valid point.
LMAO. The Catholic Church started Chattel slavery? What a fool. Arabs started their slave trade around the time of Christ. Way before the Catholic Church even existed.
Comment by Salsassin on 25 March 2009:
I see you are trying to suplement your lack of logic with an attempt at internet bravado. Sorry bub, I debate with intelligent Black men all the time. I don’t waste my time with meat heads such as yourself. You obviously are frustrated and your post shows it. I am not afraid of expressing my opinion in the face of anyone, Black or White. But as a lawyer, I am not going to actively pursue a confrontation that could affect my career; I wouldn’t risk a fight with a moron. I live in Decatur. Good luck driving around trying to find me. Internet bravado is always entertaining.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 25 March 2009:
Dear Salsassin
Just because black men disagree with your opinion they are not intelligent. I don’t care if your a lawyer. Yea don’t actively search for confrontation idiot your face is all over the internet.
I would hate to think you have something against black men depending on the field you practice law in. I never cared for lawyers anyway. Do your fucking job and stay out of politics.
Good day moron showing his face on the internet.
I guess I am not intelligent as you.
Comment by prettybrowneyes on 25 March 2009:
Mr Laurelton Queens you are such a hypocrite! black women are expanding their options at an increased rate. deal with it!
Comment by prettybrowneyes on 25 March 2009:
Maggie, your response is typical and is from typical blackmen. As a black woman that prefers white men and do not date black men. Respect is a two way street. Black men believe that black women do not have other options to dating and love, so they don’t value and also mistreat black women. As a white woman; you are not expected to know, care or understand this fact. White men to me are better and give what black men dont think I deserve; RESPECT! And I give it right back. What you don’t know about black women is this; for the most part, we will TREAT you as you TREAT us! Respect is a two way street and MUST BE EARNED! If you are nasty towards me, then you will NOT receive ANY RESPECT from at period…Simple as that Maggie, simple as that.
Comment by Salsassin on 25 March 2009:
Hey its the cable guy.
Nice try cable guy. I said I have had debates with nam intelligent Black males. Obviously if I had debates with them, we disagreed. Yes, my face is in many places. I never said I hid. I just don’t pursue it. If someone wants to find me they can go ahead and search. I have morons make that type of macho posturing in many forums. Very entertaining.
No you aren’t very bright. So you can see my face. I can see yours. Your point?
http://i42.tinypic.com/2zogf95.jpg
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 26 March 2009:
LOL Salsassin
Do you think that is going stop me. You are very entertaining you ambulance chaser.
I am not bright and you mention debating “intelligent black males”. The ones that agree with you.
Macho posturing like what you do. Anyway, thanks for the exposure.
You ambulance chaser if you did entertainment law you would actually be worth something.
Have a nice day John Edwards.
http://mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/
Comment by art_negresse on 26 March 2009:
to Maggie:
I SO appreciate your post. I agree with it, but it’s also just so affirming for me, a black woman who only dates white men, to see that there really is enough for everyone to go around. We are meant to love who we love, regardless of what society says. Otherwise, how are the black women who love white women going to meet you - you’ll totally miss out, and if I don’t go with my heart, some adorable white guy’s going to miss out on the pleasure of my company!
Rock on with your other-lovin’ self - sister to sister
C.
Comment by lstbreathin on 31 March 2009:
I would hope to be judged on my own mistakes in life. Being afforded the opportunity to “Put my own foot in my mouth”. I am only 23 years old and have apparently been blind to these issues discussed here. I don’t hold society responsible for my shortcomings now or ever. As a Black man myself I obviously deserve to be happy and content. Although in that same respect I cannot convince a woman who is jaded to give me that chance. Regardless, that decision rest with her personal preference be it negative or positive. I have seen many beautiful women since joining this site, of all races. I have approached all of them hoping not to be reversed stereotyped. To my dismay, the world is not as open as I thought, maybe even worse. I judge women on a case by case basis, simply put, how she decides to display herself to me. I would never base those judgments of what some other woman did to me; otherwise I would be a lonely man! Really I wish I could apologize for the men that did this to most of these scorned women, I can’t. That person wherever he is holds no merit to this young black man. She is out there somewhere, and I am waiting, not patiently though. Black, White, Latino, Asian, Heaven forbid anyone try to take the happiness I deserve away from me. Oh yeah, SUPPORT THE TROOPS!
Comment by KC on 13 June 2009:
I don’t see why there’s this argument. I mean being a lowly “third-worlder” from little old Barbados, I think I still have enough sense to know any woman, whether white, black, blue or purple will go with who makes her feel good, emotionally, spiritually and physically and who treats her to what she wants and needs. So what about our gay sisters, who would rather cuss a man than say “hi” to him? Get it? You can’t decide what a person is looking for in a relationship or who they will decide to get it from. I mean it’s the same way with us guys. I like big assed girls with tits to match. I like them brazen and kinky(and I mean kinky!). I like them bold and outspoken and strong, because I find that women who have those traits tend to be alot more dependable. And let me tell you: nothing gets my blood up than a good old argument. I like girls who can cook and clean, not that I need them to because I can do both but hell, I love when my woman cooks for me, pampers me and then fucks me silly, just like anybody else. Does that make me a pig? Or a victim of a white-imposed mindset that I will never be free of? Does that make spice and negresse sellouts because they decide to give it up only to white men? Give me a break. Am I to believe that every black guy that dates a white woman and loves her and wants to share his life with her is secretly heeding to the slave mentality instilled by the whip and chain? As a black man with a degree and nearing completion of another one, am I so stupid that I will NEVER break this supposed mindset and do what I want simply because I want to. Give me a break! People fuck who they like to fuck! People are free to love who they want and that is one thing that slavery or lynching or poverty or whatever couldn’t take from us. I would never say we had it easy as black people but if we want to realise our true potential we have to show the love that wasn’t shown to us, first among ourselves and help each other and respect each other. Instead of throwing historical tidbits around like stones trying to prove how academic we are we should be focussing on more important stuff: like loving all our brothers and sisters, showing mercy where others have shown us hatred, respect where we received none. Otherwise how can we say that we were wronged when we perpetuate the same, how then can we condemn those who have wronged us before? I fully appreciate my past but I know enough to see that history is for us to learn where our forebears went wrong so that we wouldn’t follow in the same mistakes.
Look, there are many white girls I know who come from strict families here on this island whose tiny asses have been put on the curb because they just can’t get enough black dick. But reading some of these commments I suppose that’s ok. After all that would fit into some neat revenge-role-reversal paradigm or something. I personally think that some black men are just as offended when they see a black sister confident and independent enough to do as they please with who they please. You can always tell. It starts with the snide remarks, progresses to insults, then the peurile diatribes about how much of a whore they are or will be and then you hear the stories of what mama said back in the day. Sad but true.
No accomplished, progressive black man is going to look for an uneducated, unmotivated, skanky woman white, black, indian, hispanic or asian as a first choice for a wife and mother of his children.He’ll look for someone that is at least intelligent enough to talk reasonably with and sensible enough to know that if she fools around, chances are she’ll lose a good thing( as we flatter ourselves sometimes) If he says otherwise, update: he’s a FUCKING LIAR! We also have to realise that women don’t have to explain themselves whenever they voice their opinions or state a preference. Spice likes white guys, so? Good for her! I wish her every happiness and moreso I hope she gives him so much nookie that he tastes it in his dreams. Here in Barbados I know lots of guys who only date white girls for the same reasons that spice claims to prefer white men for and some do it for alot worse, does that make them sellouts because they find their happiness in their own way with the people they want to be with? Some people make it with animals for Christ’s sake!
Go where your happiness calls and live for you! Only God can judge.
Comment by BAMFBrooksie on 29 June 2009:
Salsassin
I think you are a very interesting man. I was intrigued by your posts and your tendancy to try and educate, instead of control, others.
You kept me reading…
Thanks for the insight,
B : )
Comment by tatted2death on 15 July 2009:
I must agree with BAMF here…..he most definitely provided an interesting read…..AND he stepped up when some others tried to dominate the board with mostly negative B.S….went toe-to-toe..(GOTTA LUV THAT)…..muchas gracias.
Peace and Blessings
tatted2death
Comment by Salsassin on 15 July 2009:
Oh wow. Thanks for the compliments.
Its the military lawyer anthropologist in me. LOL
Comment by julietsiera on 16 July 2009:
I haven’t read all of the responses but I think it’ll be a fine day when regardless of the hue of our skin, we all start dating people who happen to be black, white or whatever rather than black, white or whatever men and women. Personally, it’s about time that we start putting Dr Martin Luther King Jr’s dreams into action in the smaller circled of our own lives by judging each other not by the color of our skin, but by the content of our character.
juliet
Comment by julius26 on 17 July 2009:
To prettybrowneyes
Its your prerogative to date white men only but dont justify your choice by saying black men dont respect black woman. Quality is in the person not in the colour and you are to hateful to see that
Comment by bigeyes31 on 20 July 2009:
julietsiera
I agree with you wholeheartedly. We have to learn to look at people for their character and not skin. Does that person treat you well? Does that person make you want to be a better YOU?
Just like any other dream, you can’t just dream it. You have to take steps to make it a realization. Until then, it is just a dream. You are right it begins with the individual.
Great comments.
Comment by 85kguy on 4 August 2009:
Wow,
Still needing white people after all this time. They freed us over a century ago. Well, not really need, but obsess over.
A good white woman may face more competition with Asians, blacks, and latinos all looking for white men.
Where I live there are three major cultures and the black one is the third. Hispanics make the second culture to what the government calls white.
They seem to never obsess over who is dating or marrying who.
However, on the other end of the spectrum Native americans feel pain and have real startling problems due to what happened to them hundreds of years ago.
I have never dated a white woman in my life.
Too busy dodging those black men who were gay and especially those bullies who were on their way to prison. A gunslinger eventually gets taken down. Can’t get caught up in the madness of black on black when you are young.
Black men really don’t go for paleness, and a lot of white men don’t either. Beauty is no longer about being white and may never have been in the first place.
I guess it is where you live. Hispanics make up a large segment of the population in the southwestern US.
Here can look out our proverbial window and see more than just white people and black people.
Because of this website I went to a white church for the first time. It was very nice and they visited my home (by suprise actually). The ladies-only group brought baked cookies of various types. I had filled out the visitor card and so they came visiting. Not that would expect that in New York or Milwaukee but that happens in the southwest in a lot of major metro areas nowadays.
Because so many black men are in trouble most women do not look at black men. Look at singles ads. Black men are the least likely to be picked by women of other races based on the bad in their community of men.
The same ones that I avoided are taking me down with them sometimes and in some avenues. I can imagine it feels good to be treated like the good man you try to be no matter which woman does it.
I was glad that the church people treated me nice on my visit. I’m a veteran. I am educated (now, night school grad). Yet, I am trapped in a situation I can do nothing about any more than the Native american can about the high percentage of meth heads and alchoholics on the reservations nowadays.
I can see what the white woman says about her black husband.
Black Sisters: those white ladies seem to compete with more women (black, asian, hispanic)for a good white man than you seem to have to for a good black man. I think that you can look in a singles ad in the paper and see white women predominately looking for caucasian, hispanic or asian males. When you feel like obsessing over them, just look at the singles ads. Very few want or love black men.
Maybe that great stat guy with the inspirational story can work on that or James can put a blog on that.
What white women compete with compared to black women.
Comment by Renee on 22 August 2009:
At least it’s over. No more fighting guys.
Comment by TYRANT on 11 September 2009:
@bigeyes31
I haven’t read all of the responses but I think it’ll be a fine day when regardless of the hue of our skin, we all start dating people who happen to be black, white or whatever rather than black, white or whatever men and women. Personally, it’s about time that we start putting Dr Martin Luther King Jr’s dreams into action in the smaller circled of our own lives by judging each other not by the color of our skin, but by the content of our character.
TYRANT: I think it’s great that there are people who want to put Dr. Martin Luther King’s dream into action, but before we start holding hands, singing kumara, and swaying, I can’t help but wonder why is it that black people are so willing to judge EVERYONE but each other by the content of their character instead of the color of their skin?
Aren’t black men and women suppose to judge each other by the CONTENT of their CHARACTER? In theory, one would think so but in actual practice this just isn’t the case. Black people are quicker to judge each other-and quite HARSHLY, I add-even more than white people. This is apparent in the number of black women who swear off black men and vice versa.
I find these facts…disturbing.
As a black man, I LOVE women-especially black women-and I judge each and every single woman I come across by the way they treat me. I’ve had good experiences with black women as well as bad ones, but I would NEVER use the bad experiences I’ve had as an excuse to NOT date black women. If I did, then I wouldn’t be the strong, aggressive, dominant, passionate, educated, intelligent, mature, and yes-oh-yes, handsome black man I pride myself on being.
I admit, I’m LEERY of IR couples of the BW/WM and BM/WW type because either the black woman hates black men or the black man hates black women. I know, I’m wrong to assume, but when you’ve seen the constant bashing that goes on between black men and women on the message boards, and the horrible things each says about the other, you can’t help but get that impression. Hey, I’m not perfect, but I’m pretty damn close.
Any who, the point I’m making is that it’s HYPOCRITICAL for black women and men to endorse JUDGING others by the CONTENT of their CHARACTER and not the COLOR of their SKIN when we refuse to do the same to each other.
Comment by romnomor on 18 September 2009:
Thank you kid47 and tatted2death for being voices of reason. This entire conversation could and should have ended with your remarks. I am a strong, white woman, (not easy), sometimes possessing the “good” and “bad” stereotypical traits of both black and white women (as well as possibly asian? who knows). It is difficult to assess why people of any race are attracted to people of their own or other races. I am not sure a tangible answer exists but I do know that, on one hand, I believe stereotypes became as such for a reason, yet stereotypes are but a sample of the population. I dislike the negative comments about both black and white women in this thread, because, in my experience neither is accurate. This conversation could apply to interracial friendships as well as romantic ones and still the same debate would occur, albeit less passionately, I presume.
Comment by romnomor on 18 September 2009:
The day will come when we will discontinue judging by the color of skin because, hallelujah, if we keep pro-creating outside of our races like all of us on this site….we will conquer the purists and will all be shades of beige anyway
Comment by romnomor on 18 September 2009:
Thank you 85kguy. We white women do compete with ALL other races, not just black and I love that you pointed this out. You were right that american men of all races do NOT LIKE us pasty white chicks or as you said “Pale” women. We compete with ALL of the other more exotic looking women which seems to be the flavor of choice now. The days of the pale white girl being considered attractive has passed. Echo in a new century of blended colors. Maybe that means we as a society are making more progress toward unity than we thought we were.
Comment by tatted2death on 2 October 2009:
thank you, romnomor….
…I must say I like how you think….yet I hope a day also comes when ALL women can relax and stop looking at each other as competition of any sort…
….And don’t you dare put yourself down for being “pale” or “pasty”. Trust and believe there are people out there who would kill for your skin tone. Love being you as I love being me. You seem like a beautiful soul and you have an “sister-in-combat” in me (against the “purists”…lol).
Peace and Blessings
tatted2death
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 2 October 2009:
I know “loose booty” is not preaching.
She actually said this
“…I must say I like how you think….yet I hope a day also comes when ALL women can relax and stop looking at each other as competition of any sort…”
Like my nephew says “C’MON SON”
You was hating on Big eyes. You still haven’t talked to her all that much after she stole your man. I am bit disgusted by this self righteous talk.
“Tatt” that on your forehead.
romnomor girl you look good. You can tell the truth. Sellout black women will always dislike white women because they feel they are “in the way”. When all else fails for a sellout black women try to bully white women out of “the dating scene”.
White women nearly double lap black women when it comes to “interracial dating”.
There will always be that resentment by black women. They need to be the center of attention.
What sellout black women need to do is observe what white women are doing and stop failing.
LooK for that “INTERRACIAL DATING” WHITE WOMEN THE NEW FACE OF BLACK MOTHERHOOD.
I think that will be controversial. Actually, I reversed that title from a sellout black woman author. She wrote “White men the new face of black fatherhood”.
I was like ho did you fall on your head? I decided to do my own title.
Man look for it. I plan to work on it this weekend on my blog.
http://www.mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/
Comment by Salsassin on 2 October 2009:
To 85kguy
Some are obsessing over White guys; others are just expanding their horizons. I think the first is unhealthy, the second is healthy.
It is true that you see more White men in this country in interethnic relations. But that is also because there are more White men in the country. The question would be, what percentage of each population dates outside their ethnic group.
I would disagree that Black men don’t go for ‘paleness’. They just usually stick in their comfort zone. Because of admixture, Many African American women are born with light skin. And I don’t mean light mahogany or wheat colored. I am speaking European skin tone, ala the Fords. They still get men quite quickly. But they are ethnically Black women. When Black men date outside their group, they date across the board. From the palest Asian or European to the darkest Indian. And some do go for fetish type specifics. Same with White men. Many who get bored with White women still end up dating pale Asians.
Beauty is about exposure to cultural norms of what is beautiful since childhood. As the parameters have expanded in the media, our beauty standards have grown.
It is true that many Black men get judged by the bad apples in their basket. This is unfortunate. Unfortunately, crime is disproportionately represented by the African American community both by actual criminals, but also the media. Tony Walsh wrote a good book, on how the oppression of African Americans led to this situation. It has created many paranoiac, bitter, ‘entitled’ haters like Laurelton Queens, by which good men like you are misjudged.
To Tyrant
It’s Kumbaya. That is Gullah-Geechee speech from Georgia, South Carolina. It means Come by here.
Kum bay ya, my Lord, kum bay ya;
I agree that women should judge ALL men by the content of their character. Writing off men because of looks is stupid.
To romnomor
Skin color genetics is not like mixing paint. Light skin and dark skin will still manifest no matter how much we mix.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 2 October 2009:
Dear Salsassin
Why should all black men be judged by a few bad apples like that is acceptable?
I can say every white person is racist if they don’t believe in Barak Obama’s policies.
I am offended you called me bitter and paranoid. Since everything I say is backed up by facts. Why do white women date inter racially more than black women? Black women can barely get white men to enter a serious relationship with them.
You are implying I am not a good man because I don’t agree with the motives for interracial dating. You are a coward because you try to play that divide game between black men.
I never hear people say “well that is a bad white man” because he does not agree with dating black women. You need to stop kissing 85k guy ass to make yourself seem like “you like black men”.
85k guy philosophy is not that far off from mine. I rather just come out and call you a coward.
You keep romanticizing white men and you get nothing in return on it. If anybody is paranoid and stupid, it is you.
Then you said writing off men by looks is stupid. Isn’t dating outside of race is writing men off because of their looks.
If he is black, you will not date him. You sound like you are contradicting yourself.
You stupid hypocrite!
Have a nice day.
Comment by Salsassin on 2 October 2009:
Usual stupidity from dumb ass. His antimiscegenation rants and over all assholishness are indication enough of his stunted mental processes.
Why do any people get judged by the bad apples? Visibility. Look at how you judger all Black women who date outside their group as sell outs. The only hypocrite here is you.
Dating outside one’s group is not writing off those who are inside the group. So long as they are all put into the dating pool. Try again.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 2 October 2009:
Dear Salsassin
That’s funny coming from a person that judges black men from a few bad apples. You damn hypocrite. Black women who date outside of the race are sellouts. That is why I call them “sellout black women”.
Clearly, you have written off white women you pathetic coward. So don’t preach to me you coward. I already know you don’t like black men unless they ‘agree with your philosophy” “massa” Salsassin.
Maybe you suffer from your “own from of entitlement and paranoia”.
Why don’t you just admit you are intimidated by black men? I could respect you more. You don’t have a steady relationship with a black woman. But you want to preach to me about how I treat black women.
Tell the people on this board how you are a womanizer. You got several black women you are sexually degrading and they don’t know about each other.
Comment by Salsassin on 2 October 2009:
LOL. More stupidity. I don’t judge Black men. That is your paranoia. I do judge morons like you who happen to be Black. You are one of the bad apples. My philosophy is tolerance. Yeah misogynistic racists like you don’t fit in that scheme.
Your assumption that I have written off any women is highly amusing. I date women of all ethnicities.
Womanizer? LOL. No sorry, I don’t go out on a ton of dates, like you.
You are just a pendejo with a self confidence problem, and you try to compensate by scapegoating everyone else for your issues. Intimidated by Black men. LOL Not quite.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 2 October 2009:
LOL Salsassin
I am a misogynistic racist now? I am one of the bad apples. I beg to disagree with you sir. Now an intelligent man like yourself knows better than that.
You said this
“Your assumption that I have written off any women is highly amusing. I date women of all ethnicities.
Womanizer? LOL. No sorry, I don’t go out on a ton of dates, like you.”
You just admitted you are a womanizer by saying you date different women from all ethnicities . Sorry to burst your bubble but I have been in a steady four year relationship.
I am not running around with different women like you “pendejo”. You are so adept at deflecting the attention away from yourself.
Again, if black women are so great, why you haven’t settled down with one?
Mr “I date all ethnicities”.
This is a Marquez and Floyd Mayweather fight and you are Marquez. You better drink Gorilla piss if you spar with me.
Comment by Salsassin on 2 October 2009:
Still to obtuse to get it. If I say I would date an Australian aborigine or a Mapuche Indian. It doesn’t mean I am dating them now. But I have no problem dating the spectrum. Until I am married, I am not tied down to dating one person. Your relationship must suck if you spend so much time on this website.
Comment by triccinicci on 2 October 2009:
OMG! So much animosity here! Couldn’t watch the vid as it’s been removed due to copyright infringement, but I read the description beneath. The bottom line is Black men want to be thought of in a decent way. Well, that’s outlandish some would say (as they reach to read another chapter on “How To Stereotype All of Humanity”)! It’s just a shame it has to be a thought. Don’t ALL men want to be thought of in a positive way (warrantable until actions prove otherwise); heck that includes women also.
The support statement to that had something to do with White women…interpreted, Men of Color have used Caucasian women to express the goodness they feel society in general does not perceives in them. Not every Man of Color is a badass. They are not Rambo or want to be associated with the Left…they just want an ordinary life to attain peace and happiness. What ordinary expresses is each man’s justification of living standard and life expectation to be achieved.
Since Black and White relations were conditionally a non-traditional caste system in this country, often African American men coyly subjugated their cultural sisterhood in internal (intra)racism against Women of Color. I believe this is what caused the rift initially with African American women and men. The outlook it was presented with was the same exactly as what Caucasian men presented in their false superiority of white women over black. Very much as if someone from the same caste “raised himself” and felt his right to break through the caste to enjoy the fruits of such labor.
In white society it was a certain level of prized woman. Yet, that prize only existed if it retained it’s value. So in my estimation, black men set out in their own culture to influence the perception of the overstimulated value of Caucasian women by denegrating their own women. Thus, provoking a terse reaction between the two cultural aspects of women born issues. Now in no means am I saying that people will not have their own issues and honestly it has its own natural occurance in the social conditioning as does all elements of economic desparities and changes in cultural demographics.
I think it was simpler for African American males to make the switch because they were trying to effectuate a true nuclear family in society itself and not the numerous happen stance, sex based families generated by wm/bw, in part because the black woman could truly add no social or economic pressure to the decision. Since most Men of Color really didn’t fear mother and sister and either didn’t have fathers or saw them having a more blissful life than the father they had…well goes the rest of the story.
Like one guy on the site said - and this is not a direct quote - he loves being white because they are better represented in the media. I think Men of Color, especially African American men, began to associate the things thought to “bring” that positive interaction between Caucasians and society itself. One of those tools was the woman they had, which happened to have wider appeal being she was their own kind (Other women may have been treated differently during the time. Certainly everything was compared to the standard of the w/w relationship as whites tended to believe no other society existed).
When African American men in this country (based on a broad scope and not specific to each person’s reasonings) begin to factor they wanted equal time in the wider appeal of society (not the segregated societies), they studied the organization of the American Caucasian. Like a television commercial or a film for the masses, I believe they selected a woman from the society they wanted to be recognized as having the same qualities as to bespeak the inclusion they sought. Even if just marginally, it was a beginning, a statement.
I don’t think all were turning their backs on their particular social mores in the African American community. Most wanted the right to choose, to have what they want and some had the balls to do it - regardless of the consequences (and there were some consequences to be sure). Yes, there was fallout, but I just think people at that time looked at ways for individual survival and the experience of what they were “shown” good was.
When the Caucasians (who thought they had debased all contenders and threats to their society, not to their woman as is often propogated as she was just a symbol of what it stood for - untouchable society made for a few) saw a white woman would willing give up her status of a pedestaled untouchable for action and love he (Caucasian male), naturally, felt threatened. This is the same thing African American women deal with today in the Man of Color believing he has scrutinized and ESTABLISHED a place for the Woman of Color and she’d BETTER NOT MOVE from it or feel the wrath of being called a sell out (hahahahaha)!
The two ideals are juxtaposed inversions of the other. I believe when people see they can hold the position in humanity that belies traditional roles and that can be achieved successfully with love, encouragement and gentle admonishion…I believe they’ll lead in that general direction. Even if it means overcoming stereotypes rather good or bad.
Here’s another picture painted for those needing a visual: If someone could project a picture for you, sorta like the Ghost of Christmas Future, and show you a demoralized, turned down, negated, tuned out figure with no visible place in society and ask you your opinion of that miserable soul. What would you say? Then if the heart of that person could be revealed and it showed an earnest, loving, intelligent being just wanting to grasp and accomplish the ideals of the pinnacle of mankind. What would you think? Just then if the miserly ways of an unjust society could reveal to you how its devisive ways to purposefully withhold humanity, compassion, accessibility and mostly love as should be received in a WELL ROUNDED society. Especially one calling itself a Democracy. What would your perception be? Lastly, what if it could be proven the only effort placed forth to place a person in such a dehumanizing, unspiritual, physically and emotionally fragmenting state was the color of the skin. Period.
Now, in all of this, if the person could be revealed as you, the intellect your soul and the society as being ours would you want to be that person? All humans have the instinct to survive. As humans we are granted a variety of tools through which we CHOOSE this mechanism’s standard, capacity and action.
I cannot and will not get into all the varied details on how we can simplistically stop these debates, but I will say this. Love conquers all. If all I had to do is voice the washing away of hatred, putridity and massive compelling to waste life to death through the action of Love; by so doing putting such evil asunder, I would do it.
So I, for one, do not see people as selling out. What have all those deaths been for? Which is higher? Love or Hate? Now do all men select mates just for love? Ask those who marry equally for the reasons of money, power, just because ’she’s a good cook’. Depends on the depth of the intellect or just the instinct to survive.
Can any of us discern what is good or bad for another? Whoever does outside of the choices made for the children in this world, misspeak. How dare I tell another woman, “you’d better not be with him because he’s not what I say he should be”! For the man too.
If Black man has left his racial counterpart, there are plenty of other fish in the sea. If you are one who wants to contend for the “options” he now has, throw yourself at his feet or role play (I hear blond wigs are in and blue contacts can make you any woman, lol) if you care. What is the value you seek and what is the value you are getting?
Why be with any man that loathes you because they yearn and burn for another? What if it’s not another woman, but merely the color of her skin or what she represents? Love can truly be colorblind unless we place it beneath the bushel and prevent it from the light of day.
My final encouragement to Black men, to myself and all those who care to examine these words rather you choose a mate from your culture (I’m American and refuse to represent a race, I do enough for my COUNTRY) - Clear your mind and heart of all animosities. Call to your brother and not to his skin, it’s you wanting to reach him and he resides in spirit, within.
Comment by tatted2death on 17 October 2009:
LMAO….Hey Salassin…..we might as well admit we are “Mr. and Ms. Loose Booty” in Queens’ sad little world….wher everythings get twisted like a bad weave. Hey where’s my sash and crown, dayummit….this pageant sucks….LMAO.
Comment by tatted2death on 17 October 2009:
Man, I have decided I am gonna take over the comic book game and come out with a character that lives in a little dark hole and skews everything that he just happens to hear from above…..and HEY, wouldn’t it be absolutely hilarious if he happened to have INTERNET access……dayum…..someone’s going to steal that one (LMAO).
Comment by justin on 2 November 2009:
if color was no issue in relationships, then why are you guys on this site seeking it out? just let it be.
Comment by Armando_G on 15 November 2009:
I’ve just read some of the post’s here…and I have to say, if some of you hate people just because of they’r level of melanin (black or white) then go and ***** yourself. You are not needed in this world.
Peace.
Comment by khoibito on 26 December 2009:
Let’s face it, black men have done an excellent job of diminishing the image of black men. Living in Harlem, traveling to ATL, TX, Philly, DC, I regularly see the neanderthal with his pants below the waste, IN MY AGE GROUP and younger. That being said, white women do not necessarily do anything to attract me, it’s more a matter of black women repelling me. The few black women that are successful, fit, childless, attractive and single, act as if they’ve accomplished something special, when all they did was what they were supposed to do. Whereas white women who are attractive, successful, etc., act as if that was the plan all along.
Comment by tatted2death on 1 January 2010:
Wow…..so once again it comes to putting someone else down to justify why you do what YOU do?!?!?!
AMAZING…..how PEOPLE (in general) tend to think waaaaay to highly of themselves based on “accomplishment”, material wealth, physical beauty, etc…..whether or not it was “the plan”, can we delve below the surface here??? Maybe not…because maybe then all that superficial swag might not hold that much appeal after all. And “the plan” will have been all for naught…
When attributes like honesty, integrity, loyalty and plain old respect become “in-thing” maybe we will stop having train-wreck relationships (*cough TIGERKOBE*) that were based on values thinner than the paper the marriage certificate was printed on…
DISCLAMER: NOT SAYING THAT THERE AREN’T ANY BW/WM FAILED (public) RELATIONSHIPS (I AM SURE THERE ARE) BUT THESE MEN, IN PARTICULAR SHOULD HAVE EITHER KEPT IT IN THEIR PANTS OR BEEN SMARTER WITH THE “GAME”….PFFT….just calling it like I see it….plain and simple.
Peace and Blessings
tatted2death
Comment by BlackCowboy on 15 January 2010:
OF COURSE Iprefer buxom blondes!!!!!What 100% red-blooded(and hot-blooded)lad doesn’t?
Comment by 12cuddlewith on 23 January 2010:
For all this nonsense talk up in here, why are folks even on a interracial dating site if all we are going to do is down the next person thats not of your race? That don’t make no sense to me. I mean seriously why are folks here? Then for all the ’so called” white women theories are stupid….and i don’t follow or go by any of them….i have seen women of other races just as easy at times. everything is based on the personal choice to get them some….if they want it they are going to get it……it’s just we are too easy to pick on when it comes to white/black issues and alot of folks assume because of what folks here. For me when a black women says a white woman is easy, how they know, where ya there? and to be honest, i wouldnt be suprised them too have given it up easily also. Uh hello! Im not here to down anyone but i refuse to be put in a catergory because of my skin color.
Comment by fenway2k on 5 February 2010:
@12cuddlewith
The reason people are on here is simple.
Being in an interracial relationship comes with ramifications, criticism and ridicule being part of it.
You cannot change this aspect, but you can learn to deal with it.
So talking and blogging helps to gain different insights and understanding.
You just have to use this forum like a buffet. Talk what you want and leave the rest.
Comment by 12cuddlewith on 8 February 2010:
@fenway
oh i am open to anyone’s opinions and comments no doubt…..but i refuse to sit back and listen about all these white women this and white women that….who made anyone the president of white women….if one don’t know me then no one can comment on me….unless someone up in here has done a study or a poll on white women…..i don’t take to heart what anyone has to say……….that would be like me saying black women are this and that….based off of what black men say about them…..
Interracial relationship of course comes with criticism just like any other relationship even two black folks relationship especially when the one isn’t good for the other. I mean we will always be looked at and have folks say comments behind their back or under their breathe, possbily have shyt said to them, and thats coming from all races not just black but i look at it like this…I”M NOT THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM…….if someone takes the time to call me out on MY relationship then they need to take the time to RE-EVALUATE their own life.
Comment by 12cuddlewith on 8 February 2010:
let me clarify…….i know no one was talking about me so i was referring that comment about no one knowing me as a general statement.
Comment by fenway2k on 8 February 2010:
@ 12cuddle
Girl you saved me from having you show me where I said you had a problem…lol
I see what you are saying, even agree to a certain extent.
So while it would be nice to have people see and practice what you are preaching, the reality is that they don’t. People are judgmental, critical, haters, and are bitter about things they don’t understand.
So I just choose to seek understanding from all posts concerning relationships. You have to remember there is a reason people feel the way they do.
It I believe it has merit, I ponder it and make it a part of me.
It I believe it to be garbage, I leave it on the buffet.
Comment by tatted2death on 9 February 2010:
Thanks to fenway and 12cuddlewith for “agreeing to disagree” in such a respectful, peaceful manner…..your vibe is appreciated here.
Fenway…..you have that “balance” that calls to mind another fine man here….(yeah, Ich….I am talking about YOU….LOL)
Cuddle……you are a sister after my own heart. You most definitely have the right to speak up for yourself here (and you don’t even need others to tell you that…..LOL). I believe that the woman-hating on both sides of the spectrum must cease for any amount to TRUE love to be had by ANYONE. To sit and listen to a dude go on about his ex…..whatever color, race, creed, size, etc. she might have been is beyond dumb. So EVERY woman needs to recognize their OWN true beauty and NOT accept being told what they should embody…..PERIOD.
Peace and Blessings
tatted2death
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 9 February 2010:
khoibito
Homey I never saw it from your point of view. It is not what “white women are doing”. It is what “black women” ARE NOT DOING. They love the fridge, negros telling them fat is thick! What the hell is “thick”?
I date full figured black women. Yea they got more shape than a sloppy white woman that is fat. Nowadays white women are getting ass and hips. They must be eating that cornbread or popeyes chicken with hormones in it.
However, if you let the weight creep up on you. You will be 250 to 275. Ask a white man if dated a black woman between 180 and 220 consistently like black men do. They are going to say no!
You are lucky black men don’t slap the twinkie out of your mouth for even saying white men want you more than black men do. Are you smoking that “Reggie Bush”??????????????
You recognize the beauty bestowed upon you by men. You wouldn’t put on tight clothes and makeup if you ain’t want attention from men. You are going to say “I do it to make myself feel good”.
That is bullshit. Men make you feel good, therefore you feel good about yourself.
I don’t know if white women are easy. I do think they have a tougher time with some black men. The aggression they are attracted to can backfire on them. Black women always say “white women put up with your shit”. Oh yea, like black women don’t do the same.
If you have a black man with a house, car and a good job. You are just going to walk away over another woman! Not even Sara would do that to Scoff! Scoff already said he was with numerous women before he settled down with Sara.
Tell the readers the truth on the board. Not feel good quotes that make no sense.
Good day
Comment by MinaG on 14 March 2010:
Why women so obssesed with men in this country even they think they are better than men(!!!)? Why do you need a men if you already hate them this much? Race is an issue only in America because we have bigger problems to focus on. These things are not even a problem to the other side of the world like, what kind of skin color people have? (Difference makes you more interesting) or how to find a man? We work our behinds off at our jobs and rush home to serve our men (!!!) If anything goes wrong on street in the house it`s only your fault (Who knows what you did to make the man assault you or beat you up) Where ever you go, there are men watching you even you look like a beast. We grow up with sexual discramination and we have to act like we deserve it. If you tried to speak up, nobody is going to pay attention. For once I spoke at female journalist conference and said we all got raped or sexually assaulted at work place and we have to stand up but nobody but nobody spoke up. If you are not virgin, you can`t get get married but men can have sex as much as he wants because it makes him a real man. Talking about how difficult to be an American woman, Please go and live (Not for vacation, actual living, like get a job, an apartment) in the one of muslim country when you come back here, you will kiss this freedom land because this country is blessing for women.
Please get real and enjoy your life because life is too precious to be wasted. Get in shape, lighten up about men, love yourself and than love other people. If you don`t have a man so what? You won`t die. If you love yourself enough, you won`t need to another person to be happy. When you meet a man you can share your hapiness with him and find a balance between him and you because I believe, balance is the key of the hapiness…
Only sex and food attracts the people in this country. They want everthing from drive-throu window, fast, easy and cheap. I`m tired of the listening spoiled people. You are so lucky and you don`t appreciate it.