Children from interracial families have to deal with identity issues. Some people will see them as biracial hence belonging to no race. Others will treat them based on how they look (depending on the dominant race). We have also heard of cases of biracial offsprings checking off both say “BLACK� and “WHITE� boxes when filling forms where race is asked. They totally refuse to check off “OTHER�.
I have written about this. Well today, I would be happy to hear from those who have had experience with dealing with this kind of thing. Much as they are biracial, they need to be prepared to deal with racism … being rejected by both races they belong to.
There is the gap between biology and the racist legacy of slave/master categorization. How do we bridge this gap? How can you help IR kids cope with this?
Tags: interracial relationships, interracial dating, multicultural dating
Popularity: 80% [?]
Comment by secchance on 10 June 2008:
My brother and sisters are interraical Pureto Rican and Black A/D, they have always consider themselves black, because of the times we came up in,(1950 thru present) and now I have a great niece, who is Asian, and her fater is Black with roots of Puerto Rican, now how she will fair is probably deem herself black with Asian roots, not being egotiscal, but its just, when you are Biracial in that regards, the one drop rule is still evident in this society and other societies around the world, black (people of color) will more readily accept them then others. We know the struggle of identifying yourself.
Comment by classydeb on 10 June 2008:
As a mother of 3 biracial boys, 19,4,2, As stated above,in the doctors office, school forms, I absolutley refuse to check other, they are from two different cultures, and as a parent it is my responsibility to raise them to know both cultures, african american and white, as the years have past with my oldest son, times have changed, i filled out a form that actually had bi-racial box to check!!How exciting this is to see. As for the acceptance, my oldest son informed me along time ago, that he didnt know where he quite fit in at, he looked black, but as people would tell him he didnt act black( whatever that supposes to mean), he acted white, so when he came home to talk to me about this, i told him that people judges everyone, from weight to race to religion, and that you dont have to prove yourself to nobody but yourself, this is when he was 13, as time went on, he found his friends that accepted him for him, not his race, he is 19, and very smart and handsome i must say. This topic is a issue but not one that is as big as it seems to be, times have changed, everywhere u look u have differents races, that, love each other and have made children, from blk, white asain, latino. And i thank those beautiful people for making the world what it is:) Deb
Comment by Blossom16 on 10 June 2008:
I have two interracial children. Ages 4 and 1. Both girls. My 4 year old told me one day Mommy is black and I am white. (both of my children are extremely fair skinned)
Now I ask how do you explain to a four year old that she is both races without confusing or scaring her. I told her, you’re not white honey. And she just looked at me strangely. Then I said “you’re not black honey” By this time she looked completely bewildered. Then I told her that she was both, and that made her really really special. She smiled and skipped away.
I had no idea that I would even have to start thinking about this so soon with my children. But apparently I do. When I asked her who told her that she was white, she said “teacher”.
Comment by Nicky on 10 June 2008:
Parents can help biracial kids cope by telling them the truth.
Comment by classylady03 on 14 June 2008:
As a mother of two beautiful biracial children I can relate to discrimantion on a personal level. Growing in a big southern city in the projects there were lot of racism amongst my own race. I was raised to succeed the right and moral way. Currently working on my bachelor degree, as well as being happily married to a caucasian man with two biracial children tended to bring alot of unwanted prejudice. From the mouth of family members to neighbors we would hear racial slurrs such as “wanna be, your trying to be white, or your kids look like white kids, Ridicolous it sounds, but hatefulness is truly what is being said. Instead of us parents focusing on the negative we need to make a positive difference. My adivce to all parents who are trying to raise a biracial child, is to not give in to the hate the world or maybe your neighbor has to offer. Dont shelter your kids from the truth. Teach them to embrace their culture. Instead of being caught up in ignorance and sloathfulness, show them how to be all they can be in school and especially God. Be strong!
Comment by BIG MAMA on 14 June 2008:
The hatefulness and the hate crimes, discrimantion over a person skin color, just breaks my heart. You are, who you are because you’re parents love you. Color didn’t come into play when the two of you met. And it wasn’t a issue when you created the beautiful children that GOD BLESS YOU WITH.
You’re not a island all to yourself. (Although people make you feel that way.) Just know that I see you. I notice you. and that I love you.
You’re color don’t matter at all to me, and I am so sorry that any of you have had to deal with such negative reaction or racial slurrs. I admit. I wasn’t born biracial. But just being a black woman, alone, by itself. Have not always been easy.
People just don’t want to sit their BACK WOODS a** down, and take the time to get to know a person. They go by what they see, read and hear. And that may not be what you are about at all. We need to stop assuming about what is in front of us and make a stand for the children.
There’s doctor’s amongst us, lawyers, professors the list is endless. Prepare your children and let them grow, Have enough confidence and trust in your kids, when the time comes, that they will know who to deal with. And WHO NOT to deal with.
I know i had to circle the whole airport before landing the plane….But that’s me.
I love you all….And you’re all in my prayers. Don’t worry. Everything will get better.
Comment by BWR_Kitten71 on 15 June 2008:
As a child of interacial dating i am proud to stand up and say take pride in who you are because you never know who you mit be inspiring.
Comment by Ladytee1964 on 16 June 2008:
I am a mother of 3 interracial children(21,17,13). I am white and their father is black. I have always considered them to be part of the “peace generation”…it will be a slow transition for society…but i have seen progress made in the past 20 years based off of of our experience. I feel that we as human beings can be our own worst enemy when it comes to racial disputes. Truthfully… “It ain’t a race thing!”
If a person possesses self-love and respect for the people around them…it all will fall into place.
Comment by babygirl_23 on 20 June 2008:
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Comment by honeygirl_83 on 20 June 2008:
I dont know where to start… im in a interratial relationship where my parents dont like my fiance because he is black, he is american and im a white mexican, i live in Mexico and he lives in the States for now..We are engaged but only my mom knows for now and everytime she has the opportunity she says she hopes i change my mind because having a child from a black man would be like a curse for them because my kids will always be followed by racism… I would like that somebody tell me or guide me because i really feel confused. We dont have here in Mex as much racial diversity as in the States so that makes it even worst if we decide to live here but if i move to the States i will be apart of my family, things and people i love…all this makes me feel afraid of my future cause i dont know how i will raise my kids or how to “educate” my parents. I wish i could just ignore their meanness and move on but they are my parents and i care of what they think, its hard to explain cause latin people have strong family values but mainly im concerned about raising an interratial kid. My bf and i have talked about having a child soon and he is always so positive and makes me feel very good but i keep listening to what my parents have to say and i just end up having doubts and concerns. It will break my heart that my parents wouldnt love my kids.
Speaking of marriage, my fiance and i have different points of view of certain things and i like that cause that makes our relationship so unique but i dont know how it will be in the future… like, if those differences will make us stronger or will tear us apart. I feel sad because i dont know if what i feel is normal or if im paying too much attention to my mom…
Can someone of you give me an advice? or give me an idea of what im getting into? How it is being in a interratial marriage or raising interratial kids? the pros and cons?… dont know, something that helps me clear my mind.
Thanx for reading!
Comment by BIueEyes on 21 June 2008:
Dear Honeygirl_83, you are in one of the toughest spots to be in; caught between two worlds. But let me ask you this, what does your “gut” tell you? Your mind and heart are battling, but what about your instincts? What are they telling you. My daughter is now 26 yrs old and biracial. I am white, her father black. We never ended up married, so I was a single parent. We had to deal with name calling, being shunned, judged, etc. But I took my own strength and passed it on to her. My first words to her were “be proud of who you are, hold your head up high”. She has grown to be a beautiful, strong young woman with 3 girls of her own and she is passing her strength on to them. Honeygirl, you will never please everyone. There will always be someone who will judge you and try to bring you down to their own pathetic level. You are trying to please everyone and in this situation, you can’t. That’s a reality. So, you at this point must decide for yourself without your parents or bf’s input, what it is that YOU want in your life. After all, you will be the one living it on a daily basis. And yes, everything you are feeling is normal. When you care about others, you care about what they think. The differences between you and your fiance, what you must figure out is are they deal breakers or are they differences that can be lived with and compromised on. In conclusion, be true to yourself. Figure out who YOU are as a woman and human being and stick with that. Good luck!!
Comment by Chimera13 on 24 August 2008:
I am of mixed racial descent (both parents are biracial) and my children both have white fathers. Of course they look white (well duh) but there has been a lot of intolerance directed at all of us. My son, who was surrendered for adoption and placed with a white family, has been labelled an ‘albino black’ because he has blonde hair & green eyes. I have been asked if my daughter is mine, if I’m her au pair. Well, my son is not legally blind like an albino would be, and my daughter is very much my child. What bothers me is that in the US, most blacks expect you to adhere to the one-drop rule and identify as black no matter HOW you look. But isn’t ‘racial identity’ tied up in the culture more than the colour??