You have been with someone for a whole seven years. They want to be with you… eventually. But for now, they have decided to take a rain check. So make me understand this; how does one have future plans with you but don’t want to be with you right now? Suddenly, someone feels that by being with you, they are missing out on something.
This happened to someone. The dude claims that she is wife material. BUT… the big BUT… something is amiss. 
Its like having a switch on, then someone turns it off, hoping to switch you on whenever its convenient for them. What do you tell such a person? “Honey, go find yourself. Once you do that, I’ll be here waiting on you?� HELL F****** NO!!!
Most men especially (pardon me) are kind of wired to wonder about what else they might be missing out there. Curiosity huh? Well don’t pull some Jack Sparrow on a woman who has your heart.
I don’t think it is healthy to subject yourself to years of torturous thinking while someone is having one hell of a time finding themselves. Do you think it’s worth losing 5 pounds in 3 days over some compulsory break-up diet? Is that enough hope to hang on to?
Tags: dating, cross-cultural dating, break-ups
Popularity: 2% [?]
Comment by hiimsteph on 19 July 2007:
wow that is so right I’d hate that if it happened to me, all that effort and emotions wasted on a false hope.
Comment by Jeanette on 20 July 2007:
Well, if i hear the word “But” after that “I want to be with you”, i know it is time to MOVE ON. Why wait for someone to find themselves? What assurance do we have they will EVER find themselves? What are you supposed to be doing in the meantime? Having been in such a situation, I put my cards on the table right in the beginning and say what I want from the relationship and work towards it. If the guy/lady thinks it is not what they want, then look for someone else. I think it is unfair for someone to put the other person in such a situation.
Comment by jeanette on 21 July 2007:
Hi JP, you are right. Men know right from the beginning what the want. Ladies do know as well.Unfortunately most of the time it is the boy in the man behaving this way. Earlier on i used to go out with men my age or 4 years difference. After some heartaches, i thought nah! go for the older man, he is more mature, knows what he wants, has been through that, done that, the whole package. But again, the one time i did fall for someone 10 years my senior same thing, “I want to be with you BUT”. JP how do you tell a MAN from a man? Because as far as i have seen even in my friends’ experiences, there will always be boys in every living man. The honest sincere ones, who will be straightforward with you right from the beginning seem to have migrated to another planet.
Comment by Nicholas on 22 July 2007:
Hi James
being in a relationship with an asian(indian) girl, i’ve come across the same problem.
she says she wants to be with me forever but first she has to finish her high school. a problem are her parents offcourse, who would never approve of her living with me, because she has to marry a indian man.
so she would have to abandon her family, it’s sad but it’s the only way.
what i don’t understand, is why she cannot finish her studies in my city and when i bring up this subject she avoids the matter.
because she cannot leave her house when she wishes(although she’s 18) we cannot see each other alot. only once or twice a month.
she’ll finish her studies in two years. so that’s alot of ‘waiting’ time.
problem is that i’m beginning to doubt how sincere she is. i don’t know why. maybe because if it was me in her position i would be standing at her door the minute she told me i could come and live with her..
anyhow i’ve made my first vlog about our story, you can see it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Rw5eUbAHMM
best regards
Nicholas