Essence reader calls cover model a white supremacist
The February issue of Essence Magazine: Black Men, Love & Relationships, has Reggie Bush, the NFL player who is in an interracial relationship with Kim Kardashian. The main focus for this issue is celebrating Black love. Having Reggie on the cover really aroused a flood of seething comments from readers just because he is dating a non-black woman and the magazine targets Black women.
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Here one of those comments:
“Why is there a white supremacist on the cover of Essence magazine? Because any person who thinks white women are better is indeed a white supremacists. Having this man on the cover is beyond offensive to me as an African American woman. He is just another crude reminder of all the black men who perpetuate racism against black women, by rejecting them and showing the utmost disrespect by choosing to date non-black women”
So, what is so wrong with celebrating the committed and loving interracial relationship of this Black man? Assuming the issue was about Black women, love and relationships and Halle Berry was on the cover that’s celebrating Black love, would we have seen the same reaction?
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192 responses to "Essence reader calls cover model a white supremacist"
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anonymous26 says:Posted: 24 Jul 10It's just about selling the Magazine.. he looks good, and a lot of people bought it , he's not racist thats just ridiculous, and black women shouldn't be offended by Essence it's strictly business baby...
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anonymous26 says:Posted: 24 Jul 10
Reggie Bush was put on the cover because of he's marketable and $$ .. who cares if he dated another minority, The article was about celebrating "Black Love and relationships" not just Reggie's love and relationship.. and if that was the case He is black and he has relationships... Yea the magazine is supposed to cater to "Black Women" but women of all colors buy it!!! bottom line its all about the $$$$. One love
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Jenna says:Posted: 12 Jul 10@ Godiva61 That is so true my friend,Derek Jeter never spoke bad about black women. Damn the Rock is fine!!!!!!
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godiva61 says:Posted: 12 Jul 10
I don't know much about the "Rock", but I do know a little more about Derek Jeter, because I am first and foremost a die hard New York Yankee Fan, and of course a Derek Jeter and Robinson Cano Fan. Just because the majority of Derek's dates are my white sisters, with the exception of Gabrielle Union and Mariah Carey, this does not mean, nor should it imply that he has denied being black. Derek can and should date whomever he wants, as long as he's dating while he is still single and not married! Derek has always publicly honored his parents, especially his dad, who is black. When asked "where his work ethic and focus comes from", he always gives credit to his dad. Derek plays the game with intensity, focus and loyalty, which in today's sports arena, is rare and rarer! I wished that I worked with more people that has a work ethic like Derek, instead of people who are constantly late, a big pet peeve of mine, and people who take the half ass appraoch for every task! One last thing about Derek, although his preference in women seems to be caucassian women, I have never heard Derek publicly say anything negative or stereotypical in nature about black women, and for me, Derek has my respect as a man, as a athlete and as a son! I think Derek is so grounded, and respectful because he was blessed with a decent, grounded, and respectful father, and ther's no denying the obvious!! love godiva
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Ichibod says:Posted: 11 Jul 10
ChocolateLady, "Butterflies" refers to a good feeling. What you mean to say is that seeing a black man with a white woman makes you sick to your stomach. Tiger is who he is. Derek Jeter and The Rock are men who don't feel the need to. One drop rule was a figment of someone's imagination much like "Circle, circle, dot, dot" isn't really an effective form of vaccination, not even for cooties. If one parent is one thing and the other is another, who else should determine what that person will identify themselves as. I didn't know the The Rock was half black until I heard him on Tom Joyner's show some years ago. He is not ashamed of who his black father or his Simoan mother and grandfather are/were. Especially in his former career where his dad and grandfather were both popular, famous, and apart of. Not to mention, race has nothing to do with either Rock's or Jeter's careers.
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X says:Posted: 11 Jul 10
@ChocolateLady, Tiger could pretend to be whatever he wanted to be as long as he was successful since white racists would prefer that successful people not be 'black'. Once he crossed the line from being a positive role model into being a bad boy he had to deal with the reality most of the rest of us deal with. I even heard of a very dark black man who was fully accepted as a member of a hardcore skinhead group in NYC many years back because he was so anti-jewish and anti-black. He lived and talked like a Nazi so in their eyes he was not even black. It sounds funny but it's really how it works. I'm not saying Tiger was a nazi.. just saying the whole perception thing is way more complicated than what skin color a person has. I can see why Tiger's dad tried to raise him to think he wasn't black... my parents are both black and grew up under segregation in the Southern U.S. but I was raised in the Northwest. They raised me to be as color blind as possible so I wouldn't ever hate others or try to get 'even' and I would just have an easier time dealing with people as individuals. But society (white and black) made sure I knew I was black and I took note. It's just reality.... so even if I had white skin I would embrace being black.
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ChocolateLady says:Posted: 11 Jul 10
@ BlackCowboyBurt1953 Thanks but no thanks!!! I just voiced my opinion and feelings. Tiger didn't know that he was black and D. Jeter and the Rock doesn't acknowledge that they are Black. The Girls do Halle, Mariah, Vanessa Williams and even Nicole Richie identifies their blackness. I still get butterflies when I see a BM with a WW, but I love to see a BW with a WM!!!!
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BlackCowboyBurt1953 says:Posted: 09 Jul 10
Well,Chocolate Lady,if you've got big hair,big boobs,a narrow waist,wide hips and a fine bottom and legs(you've already got my preferred hue for a black woman,which is why I can't resist Caribbean "birds!!!),I'd LOVE to be your boy!!!
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ChocolateLady says:Posted: 09 Jul 10
It's more than a disease that Reggie Bush and Tiger Woods have. Kim Kardashian is a White as her Mother and Father, Armenian, but still white. I bet she filled in white on her census form. Tiger Woods did not know that he was Colored. His Father failed to tell him that in this country 1 drop of Black Blood makes you Colored. Ask Halle Berry, Mariah Carey, Vanessia Williams, and it seems that these women are better adjusted than some of these Bi-racial men (Derek Jeter and the Rock). Do not get me wrong, I enjoy seeing a BW with a WM dating or even married to one another. But I still get butterflies in my stomach when I see a Black Man with a White Women. I know and understand that this is a free country, different time, different era and we able to love whoever and whomever we desire but I still get Butterflies in my belly when I see a BM with a WW. I try so hard to get over it but something just keeps pulling me back. But when I see a "Sista" with a WM I want to shout for joy!!!! I'm not a racist I'm just me. I do not want to offend anyone but these are my feelings. Does anyone else ( a Sista) feel this way????
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X says:Posted: 02 Jul 10
@Happy_Girl, Just to clarify: Wesley Snipes never said anything hateful about black women. That's a myth. He said successful men want to come home to someone who acts nice and that it's natural for all men to want that. He gave the example of if he comes home and asks his woman to get him a glass of water and she says 'oh, no those days are over!', a guy doesn't want to hear that. He explicitly said black women can be nice but his point was that a lot of them are not cause they feel they are in a battle to own/prove something and he said all black people (men and women) have that problem sometimes, in his view.
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X says:Posted: 02 Jul 10
@ichibod, Look into the black director Thomas Carter. He started about the same time as Spike Lee but is less mentioned as a black director. Awesome body of work with titles you'll recognize.
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fkoi says:Posted: 09 Jun 10Ms. ZuZu21, you nailed it on January 15th. The bigger mess might be the reader who called Reggie Bush a White supremacist 'coz he was dating a White woman. He may have dated only Black women until he was enamored of Kim's uh let's say charms. Or maybe not. That hardly earns him a lifetime membership to the KKK.
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BeeBeeBaby says:Posted: 29 May 10
Brown did you know that magazine sales go down when a black cover model is used? Regardless of if the magazine is geared towards women or men??? Since they are businesses geared towards making money excluding black models and articles referencing the needs and concerns of black women would seem to me the best thing to do. I truly understand this is a business decision and far from a personal one. But why a woman would not buy a magazine with a black cover model NOW that seems to be a very personal one. This would also mean that products gear toward this particular group of people would also be excluded. I dare you to go through in style magazine and find one advertisement gear towards black hair care products. WHICH is a billion dollar business. Believe it or not we spend more on beauty products than any other part of the population. These are not magazine to exclude to be include a part of the population that are currently ignored.
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MzBrOwNSuGaR says:Posted: 28 May 10
Comment by CowboyJohn-Brad on 14 May 2010: "LKIE I CARE WHAT THOSE ESSENCE BROADS THINK!!!!LONG LIVE BUXOM BLONDES!!!!" LIKE WE CARE WHAT "YOU" THINK!!!!
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MzBrOwNSuGaR says:Posted: 28 May 10
P.S. The white supremacist reference to Reggie Bush was rediculous
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MzBrOwNSuGaR says:Posted: 28 May 10
Comment by LauraKei on 11 May 2010: "Can we please discuss for two seconds WHY we need a magazine that perpetuates segregation, anyway? It is SUPERFLUOUS to me that we have television channels, magazines, radio stations, etc. that blatantly promote flagrant segregation! Case and point, why isn’t there an “Essence” for white women? " No, I can not take two seconds on the type magazine you mentioned, but I will take much longer on that which you have no idea what you are talking about. The magazines may not say "Essence For White Women", but check em out. Look at the models they mostly use. Look at the makeup for instance. Unless they include a line for black women, look at the shades they have available. Now, look at the darkest shade they have. Most of them, even the darkest shade is too light for a woman of color, unless she is extremely light or of a mixed heritage, and even then, the coloring would not look right on her. Oh, and then, there's the magazine that put Beyonce on the front, but they had to airbrush her because even she was not light enough. Now, read the articles, look at the products they advertise. What audience do you think they cater to? Essence simply offers the black woman the chance to accept her beauty. Products for her. Colors that accentuates her color, products for her hair, her skin. And for those that love their own men, articles about their love, nurturing their relationships. Ebony, Jet, a few others, are informative on achievements of African Americans, things you may never see anywhere else. College grads, both male and female, lawyers, doctors, those in law enforcement. I bet your local nightly news don’t report any of that. Not all young black men are thugs on the street corner, nor all black women living off welfare with a lot of babies. Articles about everyday life in our communities, health issues, etc. People can go on and on with that “we are all the same, one race” stuff, but in the real world, we do have differences, different tastes. BET brought programming to us with more black faces, and issues that we haven’t always been able to find elsewhere. Gospel, hip-hop, what ever kind of music that appeals to African Americans. The same goes for radio programming. They are not promoting segregation, they offer a forum for people to have access to what appeals to them. Just because one embraces interracial relationships does not mean they have to stop embracing who they are. And just because one does not choose a interracial relationship, does not mean they promote segregation, again, by embracing who they are, or what they like.
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CowboyJohn-Brad says:Posted: 14 May 10
LKIE I CARE WHAT THOSE ESSENCE BROADS THINK!!!!LONG LIVE BUXOM BLONDES!!!!
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LauraKei says:Posted: 12 May 10
Can we please discuss for two seconds WHY we need a magazine that perpetuates segregation, anyway? It is SUPERFLUOUS to me that we have television channels, magazines, radio stations, etc. that blatantly promote flagrant segregation! Case and point, why isn't there an "Essence" for white women? Stupid, ignorant, racist, segregative American culture. We are so fortunate that our freedoms permit us to love, freely(!) whomever we choose. I charge that Essence responder with Black Supremacy. Which is just as shameful as the opposite. And it is NOT equality.
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Milly1982 says:Posted: 10 May 10And black women top the list when it comes to exotic gorgeousness, an ability to defy all odds and succeed, and hilarity. I love all my black ladies. I like white men for being more progressive, gentle, sensitive and for laughing at all my jokes. :)
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Member says:Posted: 25 Apr 10
I grew up in Trinidad West Indies until I was 10 years old, My mother is of Indian origin, my father was black mixed with french, spanish and chinese blood lines. I remember back then, even at that young age lots of racism between the black and Indian communities, which was sad, but my dad and mom kept it together even through that shit. I am black(mixed) and proud of this and my (Caribbean) history, I think that everyone is entitle to fall in love with who so ever they want to, when I sat at the breakfast table all those years ago in Trinidad, with my family, we looked like the United Nations, some looked Indian, Black, White, Chinese, mixed race, we grew in a house of love. Don't tell me about Brother and Sister, I can't remember seeing you at my Mom's table. I Love my choice of women,black, white, chinese, Indian, Don't fucking dictate to me about who I should fall in love with, have some fucking manners.
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Happy_Girl says:Posted: 22 Apr 10
No one wants to talk about the hateful comments black men have made in regards to black women. Snipes ended his career for the most part because of the hateful comments he said about black women. You can hear the most hateful rhetoric is said about black women daily. We are lead to believe we are less than because of things totally out of our control. The color of skin, the kinkiness of our hair, the thickness of our noses and the fullness of our lips. To insinuate that looks have no effect on a woman's life is just plain stupid. And to imply we are not raised on a diet of All American Beauty and believe you me that is NOT a sister is once again just plain thick. Do not take the fact black women are uncomfortable with this man's choices out of context. Which people seem to want to do. As if to say what the black woman maybe experiencing is all in her head. I am one of the black women who date other races not because I find them more attractive than black men. But because of the limited choices in the black community I have no other choice. Now this may make me different from most but it is the facts. A successful handsome brother is my choice but they are hard to find. Now don't get me wrong dating out side my race has open my world in ways I had not expected but I am not really sure my whole focus in dating is open my world. It is about finding someone I am comfortable with and who is truly comfortable with me. While married to White man I felt we connected on a certain level I had never connected to anyone before but on race it was like a great divide. Can I have both strong connection and a strong cultural connection also. But that is just me James.
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devnull says:Posted: 10 Apr 10@ChocPrncess Thanks for your post. I wish some people men/women of whatever race will adopt your views. There is nothing more off putting to me then when I have dated other races and they try and dismiss their own race of men or hearing black women or black men negate themselves. I have not read essence for about a decade or so now.Surely something must be wrong with the editorial team.
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ChocPrncess says:Posted: 04 Apr 10I think people here are forgetting that there is a HUGE difference between dating 'non-black' women, and holding up white or non-black women as BETTER than black ones. Yes...there are some black men who run about proclaiming that "fill in race of choice here' women are SUPERIOR to black women...for whatever reason they wish to provide. Like what you like...but that in no way should be a reason to actively denigrate women of your own race. Frankly such behavior does not bother me in any fashion...yet I do grasp that there are many black women whom it does offend. I prefer white men. I always have. Always will. However you will not catch me running about telling anyone who will listen that white men are BETTER than black. They are my preference...better for me perhaps...but not necessarily inherently 'better'.
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Member says:Posted: 18 Mar 10
Dear Bri Why do you write "long books" to me? I am just going to pick out statements that I feel like answering. You haven't mastered the "paragraph" for some reason. "referring to my statements as mentally ill?? You make up things as you go along…as it suits you..you will fabricate ANYTHING to try to discredit EVERYTHING I say. As a Black woman do I walk up to Black men and ask if they’re on the little blue pill? No…Do I take what social stigmas exist about Black males and check first to make sure they are not true when I meet one? " Uh, you said black men take erectile dysfunction pills and "force" themselves on black women. That is just mentally ill to me. I am sorry you feel that is normal. I am concerned for your "well being". You also said this... " Don’t try to depict Black women negatively and then cry like a baby when someone alerts you to all the misconceptions that exist about your own demographic. lol…" What misconceptions? You said this.. "Even now you are still quoting statistics that apply to less than half of Black women as a representation of ALL Black women. I as a Black woman do not view ALL Black men based on statistics and stereotypes even though it would be more than easy to do so but that is your approach to Black women. That’s normal to you? What don’t you get? It’s not that difficult…" Um, how can statistics apply only to "half of any population"? For example, if 50 percent of black women got herpes. That is 1 out of 2. Therefore, you can say "half of black women" do not have herpes. Or they have not been diagnosed with herpes. That would suggest the infection rate is a little HIGHER in black women. Where is the stereotype? You said this... "No one is arguing with statistics. You as a Black man said it is reasonable for society to think that most Black men are criminals. I guess that’s the difference between you and me…the White majority stereotypes people of color and you say it’s ok even though you yourself are a Black male…hmmmm, well that doesn’t work for me. Sorry I have more balls in my pants to advocate positive representation of Black people instead of just accepting the ways in which we are degraded by popular media." Your whole post argues it. Now, you blame the white majority and the media. Again, numbers don''t lie, men and women do. Sorry I can't ride along on the short bus with you. 1 out 4 black men are incarcerated or under supervision by the penal system. Most black men go to college than go to prison. I look at both sides of the coin. But somehow the fact I managed to dodge those statistics I am "bad" for black men or black people. You are a god damn idiot. You said this.... "To attribute the state of Black communities to Blackness and ignoring all the other contributing factors is the equivalent of saying White is right and Black is whack. No one denied any of the statistics that exist about Black females, I just challenged your attempt to make them seem as though they are innate characteristics of being Black and female. If everything you mentioned were traits of being Black and female then they would be present at birth." What is blackness? You are denying statistics because you are making every excuse in the book for it. Herpes is not a characteristic of being black. However, if you indulge in risky behavior that should be talked about. You seem to want to cover up what is going wrong in the black community. For the sake of being "not ashamed". I look at data and research. You go off feelings. We are two different people. If you were college educated, then maybe you would use more research instead of whining and complaining about "perceptions". I don't have to validate that I am black to you. You mocked me going to college. How many black people finished college? How many black men finish high school for that matter? Now, you want to cry and complain about stereotypes that have a little truth to them. Instead of bitching, you tell me solutions to the problem. You didn't tell what I said was "wrong". You said this... "There is not a single facet of Black media that does not rely on degrading Black women to boost ratings or sell records so yes a Black woman has every right to challenge the messages a magazine sends when that magazine depends on her consumership to even exist in the first place!" Black media has "black women executives". Perhaps, you didn't know that. Debra Lee let BET "uncut" go on for awhile before she cancelled it. "Like it is" is a good show for African Americans. Tavis Smiley has a good show and Rev Al Sharpton. Get your facts straight you loser. Oh yea, Michael Baisdan radio show. Tom Joyner and other black hosts. The Black Media is not even owned by "black people". You said this "The generalizations you mentioned that were not true are those that describe low income parents and their desire to be involved in their children’s education. You are not a fly on the wall in every house of every child in every ghetto….every parent desires good things for their children, including poor parents, however the financial means to make said dreams possible is not a reality for everybody." How many times are you going to contradict yourself? You are not a fly on every wall yourself. You just said financial means is not a reality for everyone. How do you know? Some poor people or "classified" as poor got xboxes, playstations, WII system and a big screen television. I am in low income homes all the time. What exactly is your definition of "low income"? You said this "I meant what I said when I stated Black men should spend more time regaining the manhood they lost during slavery. Was not one of the aims of slavery to strip you all of your manhood? Our community still can’t get over light skin versus dark skin…Blacks still believe there’s such a thing as good hair….what evidence is there that Black men have regained all that was taken from them when every other remnant of what we were taught still pervades our culture? " I wasn't a slave so I can't tell you. My parents raised me. You might have to write a letter to the slave owners in the grave. They might respond to you. Maybe, you need to question your womanhood and wonder why you are last in the line for dated by white men. Maybe, slavery made them feel this way. You said this... "You spend more time trying to tear down Black women than you do making a positive difference in your community so that young Black men can catch up to young Black women. You are overcome with pride as a result of your own accomplishments that you can’t admit there are twice as many Black males as yourself who have achieved nothing." I made black women go to prison at "the same rate" black men go to prison too? The same problems that affect black men happen to black women. I think you fail to realize that. Just because I am black does not mean I have an obligation to "stop" other black men from "a life of crime or anything else they do". They don't ask white men to "tell other white men" "Hey leave that trailer and that crystal meth alone." I am happy for my accomplishments concerning "myself". I am not obligated to help anybody else. "And since there are those among you who actually know what community means it is unfortunate that you may be someone’s only representation of a Black man because it is a misrepresentation." See, I have a different philosophy. Community works well when "everybody" is holding up their end of the bargain. I don't have to ignore or accept limitations in the black community for the sake of being black. I work hard for everything I have. You want to have sympathy for certain black people that do not take advantage of what is given to them. That is your choice. None of my homeboys ever gave me shit. I gave them "things". It is a really damn shame when whites are actually more generous than your own race. Take that pie in the sky shit and put it in your tampon. You said this..... "P.S. I had fun showing you how easy it was to confine you to a stereotype bred in racism that exists about Black males so just as a heads up in the future you might not want to represent yourself with the following comments: “When I was fucked up in my youth. Never listened to my dad and mom. I ended up in jail as a teen” and “Oh yea, never went to an Ivy League school and studied Criminology/Sociology at a state school. I just try to learn new things everyday.” and then throw a hissy fit…I only ran with the ammo you gave me from your own mouth….until you as a Black male are conscious of the ways in which society degrades you, which are the same ways in which society degrades Black women, and furthermore stop relying on that system to insult Black women, you will continue to be useless to the overall progression of our race." I just about did everything you said in my youth. That is why I can say with authority. This is not my fight to "stop society" from degrading black women. I don't tell black women shake their ass in music videos. I don't tell them to be prostitutes and mistresses. These things happen but it somehow the black man's fault. Black women "enable" their degradation. All you have to do is say, I won't do degrading videos , or be a stripper, or an escort. Black women have power to destroy stereotypes. Black men also. I have been called many things. But misrepresenting the truth is not one of them. Everybody is an individual. I pulled myself up and finished college. Was I supposed to hold my "homeys" hands to go to college with me? I was locked up in "a box" by myself. ' I got my degree "by myself". The black community will never take credit for that. I did that. I want a black woman moving in my direction. I don't give a fuck how other people feel. I don't need a black "leader" to tell me what to do and say. People fall back on "community" when they don't motivate themselves to get ahead in life. I can't recall the black community giving me "anything". This abstract talk about "black community" is smoke and mirrors to me "now". I am cool with other black men that are "doing their thing". I really don't associate with black men who just like fucking hos and smoking weed. I am 31 years old. I don't rely on the black community. I rely on myself. Black women would not get insulted if took personal responsibility for themselves instead of blaming everybody else. You said this "No one is “coddling” black youth but that does not mean as a Black person I’m going to throw them under the bus the same way society as a whole does. You take little examples from your experience which is minute on the large scale of our whole country and act as though they are microcosms of the entire world and from there proceed to stereotype Black people. Are you aware that a significant portion of schools in the US are classified as “rural”….that has everything to do with location and size of the school not the color of the people attending the school. The elementary and middle school I attended were considered rural, they were also predominantly Black and the majority of the teachers were Black as well…" Okay, so why are minority schools failing at a faster rate than white students? It is the white majority the cause of that? I wonder if you are going to use "little example" to prove that is NOT TRUE. You can research it yourself. Research the drop out rates for minorities (Hispanic and African Americans). Again, you come back to me and tell me where I went "wrong"? If my comments offended you, I don't apologize. Have a nice day.
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neverdun17 says:Posted: 17 Mar 10
My pleasure ;-). Hmm...so you're not a member...I wish there was a way for me to send you my email through a private message. If you have skype, yahoo, or aim, my username neverdun17 is the same.
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Bri says:Posted: 17 Mar 10
Lol!!! neverdun17!! I appreciate the love and the medieval metaphors..thanks!! ^_^ I don't actually belong to this site, I only came across it because a radio station was talking about the controversy surrounding the magazine cover and when I googled it this website was one of the only ones that was discussing it at that point and time.....that being said if you wanted to carry a discussion outside of this forum I guess you could post your email address...
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Bri says:Posted: 17 Mar 10
I was seriously expecting to come back and find something more thought out Laurelton...you've disappointed me...You doubt I have a place of residence and mode of transportation? Why...because I'm a Black female right? What basis do you have at all to doubt what I do and do not have other than your preconceived ideas of Black women? The generalizations I made about Black men were for the sole purpose of bringing it to your attention that there are just as many stigmas that exist about Black men as there are about BLack women so you should be prepared to receive exactly what you dish out should someone choose to stereotype you the same way you stereotype them. That's what community means--EVERYBODY--everything you say about Black women reflects Black people in their entirety and ultimately begs the question, well what's the deal with Black men if this is the state of Black women. Don't try to depict Black women negatively and then cry like a baby when someone alerts you to all the misconceptions that exist about your own demographic. lol....here we go again...referring to my statements as mentally ill?? You make up things as you go along...as it suits you..you will fabricate ANYTHING to try to discredit EVERYTHING I say. As a Black woman do I walk up to Black men and ask if they're on the little blue pill? No...Do I take what social stigmas exist about Black males and check first to make sure they are not true when I meet one? No.....but that does not change the fact that SOME of those social stigmas are based in fact. Unlike you I don't have to make things up as justification for my one-sided view of a specific group of people belonging to a specific race and gender. So while I do not champion White media for having a field day with all the many ways there are to stereotype Black people the fact of the matter is those stereotypes still exist and I did not quote a single one about Black males that was not based in fact. Whether or not the things I've mentioned apply to all Black men is something that of course can only be proved on a case-by-case basis but that's just it, there are individuals who prove the stereotypes to be true. Everything I referenced, including the alarming rate of AIDS among middle-aged married Black women as a result of the questionable practices of Black males, is something that at one time or another was proven to be factual. Just because you don't like the way it sounds doesn't mean you can laugh and it will all go away. The only metal illness present in this forum is yours, the fact that you think you have the right to portray Black women negatively then whine and cry when someone gives you a taste of your own medicine. You can't jump into a boxing ring and throw punches and then grab the ropes and try to forfeit when your opponent sends blows back in your direction. Even now you are still quoting statistics that apply to less than half of Black women as a representation of ALL Black women. I as a Black woman do not view ALL Black men based on statistics and stereotypes even though it would be more than easy to do so but that is your approach to Black women. That's normal to you? What don't you get? It's not that difficult... **here's the line break you requested so you don't get lost** No one is arguing with statistics. You as a Black man said it is reasonable for society to think that most Black men are criminals. I guess that's the difference between you and me...the White majority stereotypes people of color and you say it's ok even though you yourself are a Black male...hmmmm, well that doesn't work for me. Sorry I have more balls in my pants to advocate positive representation of Black people instead of just accepting the ways in which we are degraded by popular media. Are Black men more prone to go to jail because they are Black or because of other factors that society chooses to ignore? You're saying the equivalent of Black men are incarcerated because they are Black and I'm pointing out to you the plethora of reasons Blacks exhibit higher rates of incarceration, STDs and broken homes than other races other than the fact that they are Black. The only statistic minorities are predisposed to in America is that of poverty. Certain lifestyles are birthed out of poverty and these lifestyles are what provide the statistics...not the color of the people the statistics describe. And on top of that individuals of a low socioeconomic status have less opportunities to propel themselves into higher socioeconomic classes, ergo you see more examples of trends that describe poor people describing Black people instead. To attribute the state of Black communities to Blackness and ignoring all the other contributing factors is the equivalent of saying White is right and Black is whack. No one denied any of the statistics that exist about Black females, I just challenged your attempt to make them seem as though they are innate characteristics of being Black and female. If everything you mentioned were traits of being Black and female then they would be present at birth. You are equating herpes to brown skin. Black people are born with more melanin in their skin in comparison to people of other races because they are Black....they are not born with herpes because they are Black. Instead the majority of Black people are born into poverty and yes, impoverished people exhibit higher rates of contracting STDs.....that holds true in every country on every continent all around the world. So even in regions where the color of poverty is different the characteristics of those living in poverty remain the same. That does not give the more affluent majority the right to pigeonhole people of a certain race into a negative archetype. You are really portraying yourself as a b*tch...and I'm really sorry to state it that way but I honestly cannot think of another way to state it. What kind of Black man says it's ok for White America to stereotype him negatively and then on top of that takes the stereotypes that exist about Black women and tries to use them to degrade women in his own community? Seriously Laurelton? It's not even funny anymore....you are literally a brainwashed drone and it's disappointing that you base your perceptions of people of your own race based on what the media tells you to think. Are you also aware of what it means to be a minority? If Blacks account for less than 1/3 of the entire US population than by default statistics that exist about us are going to have larger "numbers" but that doesn't always equate to larger "quantities." For example, 100% of 10 is 10 but 1% of 1000 is also 10....so 100% of one group and 1% of another group could very well describe the same number of people based on the size of the group. Boy, White America has you right where they want you. Every time I come across a Black man like you I can't help but think that somewhere the ole boys club is toasting to their success and laughing. It's gotten to the point where those in America who do happen to still be racist don't have to work hard anymore to condemn our communities...they can just send a Black man to do it (case and point: rap music). The generalizations you mentioned that were not true are those that describe low income parents and their desire to be involved in their children's education. You are not a fly on the wall in every house of every child in every ghetto....every parent desires good things for their children, including poor parents, however the financial means to make said dreams possible is not a reality for everybody. A parent doesn't show up at every PTA meeting and you jump to conclusions? And then furthermore articulate those biased conclusions as truths. Is it not possible that low income individuals have to satisfy their obligations to their employers before they satisfy those to their children's school? In my experience this was an issue for many low income latinos...the majority of which worked illegally or in some form of manual labor....that doesn't come with sick days Queens, they can't fill out a cute little form so they can come talk to you about whatever when they live paycheck-to-paycheck. One missed day of work could be the difference between having enough earnings to live. Did you also take into consideration the language barriers or lack of education of low income parents? Is it not possible that there are parents who were unable to finish school and can only help their children with their schoolwork up to a certain point. Or what about the high costs of childcare for children who aren't yet school-aged? Is it wrong for a parent to prioritize spending money on childcare for days when they are working versus spending it so they can have free time to hang out at their kids' school on field day? Did you factor in the number of low income individuals who do not have cars....is public transportation free just because its' parent/teacher night? You make generalizations about Black or low income parents based on your own bias, which is unfortunate because you are a Black person. Oops, my bad, correction, you make generalizations about Black mothers exclusively. If anything you would think a Black school employee would be able to empathize with the student body to a greater degree than his/her White counterparts. I'd expect to hear those types of generalizations from the lovely middle and upper class White students from Ivy League and top tier colleges Teach for America sends to "fix" schools in urban communities, not a Black person. But then on the other hand you connect your Black father's lack of a proper education to the fact that he could not afford it. So you only rely on the connections between socioeconomic status and individual achievement when it's convenient for your personal experience? When those same reasons account for shortcomings in Black adult females however you attribute it to the fact that they are Black and female????? interesting And this part was my absolute favorite, "Do these low income communities have poor Hispanic, black, and even white people?" That is the very thing I said from square one dipshit, so thanks for reiterating my remarks as though you are introducing something new into the conversation. Yes I am educated, your peers however, were kind enough to make sure I knew that my education was not valid because I am a Black woman who went to an Ivy League college, a majority White school. All colleges are majority White in America with the exception of HBCU's but I guess the only way for a Black woman to have an education that counts is if she fulfills a stereotype in some form or another....so I suppose if I went to beauty school then I'd be a contributor to society because it would make my Black male counterparts feel comfortable? You are hopeless....with the statements about rural whites you are still glorifying White society. Why? You really are ok using your ass as a resting place for White America's proverbial dick? What makes a Black man stereotype the women and children from his own community but praise White Americans...honestly, I want to know how that makes sense to you? No one is "coddling" black youth but that does not mean as a Black person I'm going to throw them under the bus the same way society as a whole does. You take little examples from your experience which is minute on the large scale of our whole country and act as though they are microcosms of the entire world and from there proceed to stereotype Black people. Are you aware that a significant portion of schools in the US are classified as "rural"....that has everything to do with location and size of the school not the color of the people attending the school. The elementary and middle school I attended were considered rural, they were also predominantly Black and the majority of the teachers were Black as well....then come time for high school the county that I lived in had too few schools so we all attended huge high schools with student bodies the size of what you would expect to find on a college campus and class sizes upwards of 55, something characteristic of urban schools. To compare rural schools to urban schools as a representation of how students of a certain color perform is inaccurate....there are plenty of Black students in rural schools, just because the ones you work with happen to be White doesn't mean White students make better students. If rural schools perform better than urban schools than it is just as much of a representation of White students as it is the minority students who attend these schools as well. Again, you've taken a tiny slice of the larger scheme of the world based on your limited experience and used it to guide your perceptions of all Black women and children. The point of my argument is that a Black man will go to the moon and back trying to find novel ways to degrade a Black woman. This very thread was only started because a Black woman used her freedom of speech to express her distaste for a Black woman's magazine corroborating America's anglicized ideals. Why a Black man feels the need to try to rob a Black woman of her opinion is beyond me but that is exactly what you all did. Meanwhile thousands of Black boys growing up fatherless could use a mentor, any volunteers? **cricket cricket** White America still builds jails based on how many Black boys there are in fourth grade...one cell for every Black boy aged 9yo...any community leaders want to speak on that? **cricket cricket**....Black woman dares to express herself, dares to challenge the Black media that degrades her in myriad ways..**thunderous sound...stampede of Black men**...and what was your response; Call Black women names---> Tell them they're ugly-----> Do anything possible to make them shut the fuck up, even if it requires you to make yourself look stupid. That is what you are being penalized for. There is not a single facet of Black media that does not rely on degrading Black women to boost ratings or sell records so yes a Black woman has every right to challenge the messages a magazine sends when that magazine depends on her consumership to even exist in the first place! The mistake Black men make when they do achieve success is acting as though they represent the majority of Black men instead of the minority. Some Black men achieving educational or career success does not change the fact that MOST Black men do not. Those same Black men pretending to give a damn about their own communities does change those numbers for the better however, not the hands-off approach to being Black that many of you have chosen to adopt instead. Black women however show trends in terms of success that indicate we are gaining ground when measured against our White female counterparts...the same holds true for Latino females as well. In a lot of communities of color women are forced to be the doers out of necessity...in response to the widespread lack of achievement amongst minority males. It is not uncommon for people of color to teach their sons the opposite of manhood, to teach them that caring, learning and seeking success in conservative more traditional forms is weakness because it demonstrates conformity to the majority's way of doing things. It is also a fact that more Black boys grow up fatherless than not...without examples of men other than what they see on TV or in magazine, which as we have already established is going to be negative because it suits the majority to portray minorities negatively. Then all those children become adults and the same patterns persist, only this time Black men get loud and vehemently try again and again to slow Black women down with insults. I meant what I said when I stated Black men should spend more time regaining the manhood they lost during slavery. Was not one of the aims of slavery to strip you all of your manhood? Our community still can't get over light skin versus dark skin...Blacks still believe there's such a thing as good hair....what evidence is there that Black men have regained all that was taken from them when every other remnant of what we were taught still pervades our culture? Black communities exhibit a glaringly obvious gender crossover across the board....our communities show women out-achieving men and more women as the sole heads of households than not.....and a Black man's response to this is seek and destroy, seek and destroy, seek and destroy? You spend more time trying to tear down Black women than you do making a positive difference in your community so that young Black men can catch up to young Black women. You are overcome with pride as a result of your own accomplishments that you can't admit there are twice as many Black males as yourself who have achieved nothing. And since there are those among you who actually know what community means it is unfortunate that you may be someone's only representation of a Black man because it is a misrepresentation. I'm glad you at least stopped with the shitty jokes though and started talking like an adult, if nothing else seeps into your thick skull at least that did because your banter was just painful to read. Stay ignorant if you want to...I could care less because at the end of the day in the Black community women still do the work men in other communities do themselves so like I said your attempts to keep trying to tear us down are inconsequential. You should rely on your own success to feel special...not in trying to portray a demographic that is more successful than you as drug-addicted herpes ridden parolees, it's just not going to work. P.S. I had fun showing you how easy it was to confine you to a stereotype bred in racism that exists about Black males so just as a heads up in the future you might not want to represent yourself with the following comments: "When I was fucked up in my youth. Never listened to my dad and mom. I ended up in jail as a teen" and "Oh yea, never went to an Ivy League school and studied Criminology/Sociology at a state school. I just try to learn new things everyday." and then throw a hissy fit...I only ran with the ammo you gave me from your own mouth....until you as a Black male are conscious of the ways in which society degrades you, which are the same ways in which society degrades Black women, and furthermore stop relying on that system to insult Black women, you will continue to be useless to the overall progression of our race.
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Member says:Posted: 14 Mar 10
I just caught that last statement you said... "It’s unfortunate that Black men like you misrepresent the greater collective…it makes it hard to weed out the good ones who are actually about something when the ignorant Black men like you are the ones hellbent on being so vocal about your ignorance." Oh, I am not a good black man because I tell the truth. I have a degree, no kids, a residence, and two jobs. LOL This is the exact reason black women fail. LOL The same thing they praise white men for. They penalize "black men" for. You better get used to me. I plan to be around for a "long time". I call it being persistent. Black men like me are "the greater collective". If you want a man to sit down and "pee", I am pretty sure there are plenty of them around. Feel free to reply again. I don't mind spanking you once again! You have a nice day.
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Member says:Posted: 14 Mar 10
Dear Bri This whole tirade you wrote does not even make sense. I just cut and paste what you said earlier. I replied to you with my points. You continue to complain about me "twisting your words". Some people can't even get 1 job. I have two jobs. I have nothing to prove because I live very comfortable. I have my own house and car. I doubt you even have that. So save the posturing for somebody that plays that game. You just said this............ "You are exceptionally slow—-statistics that relate to economic class don’t just magically become characteristics of a specific race just because there are higher concentrations of a particular race in a certain economic class. If that were the case then it would be perfectly sound for me to say all Black men are criminals, deadbeat dads, fags, and druggies for no other reason than the fact that they are Black…that’s what you’re telling me? But I guess that much is expected from someone who by his own admission (that’s your favorite phrase right?) can’t read, comprehend and respond to a post in a single sitting." 1 out of 4 black men are have been in the criminal justice system or incarcerated ( I didn't bother doing the research). It is reasonable to believe that society might think most black men are criminals and etc. See, I can admit that. Instead, you rant and rave about facts I say about black women that happen to be true. You are arguing with statistics. That is fine with me. What exactly you want me to say? The numbers are "racist"? LOL 48 percent of black women have herpes. The CDC said this not me. You want me to "lie about it". You already made generalizations about black men. You said they were on "Viagra" forcing themselves on black women. Some mentally ill comment. Do I have to cut and paste what you said again? I will do it anyway. This is what you said......... "Black men are taking erectile dysfunction medicines to “force” themselves to have “extramarital” affairs and unprotected sex with women." (Just looking in the air like wow) REALLY Erectile dysfunction medicines?????????????? You also said this whine................. "My mother works in a school…two of my cousins work in schools…I’ve worked in schools…a lot of people in my family work in the field of education and the majority in schools that service low income communities so no you cannot put forth generalizations and then say, “oh these are facts because I work in schools”…perhaps you should try again. Yet another example of you making up things as you go along and trying to pass them off as facts because you assume I’m so gullible I’ll just agree. I never said teachers should be social workers braindead…" Good for them. I work in a school too. Show me where I said generalizations that wasn't true? Since you know the facts about "low income" schools. I said Teachers are "not social workers". I never said you said it. Give me example of what I said that "wasn't true". Where do you stand on this topic concerning low income kids that don't do that well in "low income schools"? Since you say I put words in your mouth. You actually said this..... " A student’s performance in school is the burden of the child’s parents but the state of the school itself does effect that child’s academic growth and it’s no secret that low income communities have poor schools…i.e. less avenues through which younger generations can seek opportunities out of these communities to create lifestlyes other than what they see everyday." OH, it is the burden of the child's parents. I thought I was "stereotyping again". "It's no secret" now that low income communities have poor schools. What you are doing is wishful thinking. What I talk about is 'reality". Do these low income communities have poor Hispanic, black, and even white people? You are misinformed about me. I have a Bachelor's degree in Criminology/Sociology. I have never been convicted of a crime or have a "criminal record". I can fax you the paperwork. How about yourself? Do you have a degree? Oh yea, I work in a majority white "rural" school. A majority of the elementary school children are "poor white children". Overall, the kids are passing. They have the same "resources" majority "black" elementary schools have. In Philadelphia, the schools are atrocious and they get the bulk of the money for education. I live in Williamsport PA, an "rural" working class, white town. I am sick and tired of you "coddling" black youth. They need to understand it is not a game out in the "real world". You worried about me telling the "truth". I really can't respond to you're poorly written critiques about me anymore. You have to use paragraphs when you write. Hopefully, you're good "looks" will carry you through life. What is the "point of your argument" anyway? You are upset that I am "using statistics" to back up my arguments. Something, you do not know how to do. Copy and paste everything I say. Show me where I am wrong at. You must be still in college. Your parents pay your bills and you think you "know it all". You really don't want me to hurt your feelings. Listen, whining and complaining is not a "debate". You think I give a fuck about how I come across. Show me where I said things "not true" concerning "topics". When I attack people "personally", I am being sarcastic. I could care less if they are in sexy lingerie waiting for two white men in Alabama. I can get in the gutter if necessary. It all depends on how people "talk to me". Anyway, go to your college library and take a English remedial class. You can at least put your statements into paragraphs. People tend to have problems with grammar. Seriously, put your thoughts in paragraphs and no more long posts. You can be concise with your thoughts. It does not make you an intellectual to write such a long post. Maybe, a white man call tell you that. Obviously, I am not getting through to you. Good day.
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neverdun17 says:Posted: 14 Mar 10
@ Bri As a writer, a speaker, and a student of the mind, I have thoroughly enjoyed watching the development of your arguments with Laurelton. It has been something akin to watching a duel between Joan of Arc and a petty duke who incurred her righteous wrath lol. Ever the pragmatist, I don't have to agree with everything you have said to respect the mind behind the argument; similar to respecting the skill of the swordswoman behind the sword, whether I entirely agree with her ideology or not. I'd like to carry a discussion off of this forum, whether its related to this topic or not. Lol I have not forgotten why I joined this site to begin with ;-).
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Bri says:Posted: 13 Mar 10
It's unfortunate that Black men like you misrepresent the greater collective...it makes it hard to weed out the good ones who are actually about something when the ignorant Black men like you are the ones hellbent on being so vocal about your ignorance.
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Bri says:Posted: 13 Mar 10
I pointed out statistics dumbass because you did and that's my point...you stereotype Black women based off of statistics so I brought it to your attention that the same statistics exist about Black men but to a much greater degree. So if that's how you choose to view individuals then you should be well aware of how you appear should someone choose to stereotype you as a Black man based on statistics. You are exceptionally slow----statistics that relate to economic class don't just magically become characteristics of a specific race just because there are higher concentrations of a particular race in a certain economic class. If that were the case then it would be perfectly sound for me to say all Black men are criminals, deadbeat dads, fags, and druggies for no other reason than the fact that they are Black...that's what you're telling me? But I guess that much is expected from someone who by his own admission (that's your favorite phrase right?) can't read, comprehend and respond to a post in a single sitting. My mother works in a school...two of my cousins work in schools...I've worked in schools...a lot of people in my family work in the field of education and the majority in schools that service low income communities so no you cannot put forth generalizations and then say, "oh these are facts because I work in schools"...perhaps you should try again. Yet another example of you making up things as you go along and trying to pass them off as facts because you assume I'm so gullible I'll just agree. I never said teachers should be social workers braindead...your inability to read simple sentences is very annoying. I have to spend the majority of my time explaining to you that half of the shit you "quote" is not even present in what I typed. I acknowledged that the burden of responsibility in terms of education is on the parent(s) but that does not mean that the state of schools in low income communities with high concentrations of minorities does not influence individual achievement in adulthood...the very same adults you stereotype, or rather you restrict your stereotypes specifically to women. It's also ironic that you would keep drawing attention to parental roles when, what was that number again, EIGHTY PERCENT of Black children are fatherless?? hmmmm, so I guess yet again everything you are saying reflects back more onto Black men than it does Black women? Nice job, Lauren, nice job. By your own admission you have been to jail. By your own admission you do not have an undergraduate degree....you just "learn things any way you can as you go along"....that's like sooooo cute!!! By your own admission you work two jobs just to do "the best you can"..that's even cuter...what woman could say no to that? So you are overemployed and undercompensated...typical average joe in bondage to White America, your ability to not be a statistic is amazing Queensy, just amazing! So let me get this, Black women are all incarcerated with STDs and out of wedlock children....so says the uneducated ex-detainee? So I guess by your own admission your Black wife should "keep her legs closed" to you to prevent becoming a statistic, right? By your own admission you are exactly the type of loser Black man us Black women are so stupid for dating, eh? Isn't that how you said it? What's really going on is you, like a lot of Black men, feel the need to try to degrade Black women in any way possible, by quoting numbers and making generalizations that are not representative of the majority of Black women. 48% of Black women have an STD? Well if the rate of contracting AIDS is twice as high for Black men, how many Black men have STDs? Did your father teach you the same math he learned by candlelight? Can you figure that one out or is that one of the things you didn't learn as "you went along learning things in whatever way you could"...you sound like such a Sambo even saying that, like when I hear that phrase I imagine Hoke learning how to spell from driving Ms. Daisy. ^__^ So I guess for every Laurelton with a criminal record there are zero Bri's but seven times as many you's.....and for every Black woman with a degree there are twice as many you's without one and for everyone Black woman with a STD there are twice as many Black men with one...and furthermore those women most likely were infected by a Black man. You like stereotyping based on statistics right? Was that fun for you? We could run off numbers all day long, it will just continue to concrete all the ways in which Black men come up short, which is why it's odd that you as a Black man would even introduce statistics into the conversation, considering the plethora of numbers that describe Black men. You yourself are a walking, living, breathing statistic jailbait and uneducated yet you have the audacity to try to lump all Black women into a stereotype based on statistics that apply to less than half of Black women. How many of the Black women in this thread do you seriously think have an STD?.....I don't know, do women's prisons consider blogging and visitng forums recreational activity...are the Black women here typing from beyond the bars of their cells? I'm willing to bet that the majority of the female contributors to this thread are educated as well, much unlike yourself. I guess you stereotype your female counterparts to distract from how much of a negative stereotype of a Black man you are!! But it's nothing new...men of other races compete with other men, Black men compete with Black women...I'm flattered. That's the common theme among all of you, whenever you come across a Black woman who is more educated and/or successful than you, you try to find new ways to invalidate her accomplishments...and then when you have absolutely nothing to go on you invent things...so far I've been in a movie, I've contracted the flu and my education doesn't count because I'm not a White female....your collective game is miserable, weak doesn't even begin to describe it. Collectively, the whole lot of you could stand to spend your time better...one of those ways could be trying to find the penises you lost during slavery instead of seeing a successful Black woman as a threat. You imitate rich White men and instead of using whatever success you achieve by doing so to benefit Black communities you instead try to lord it over the very people in those communities. Next time you come across a Black women who's doing her job and yours, which by your own admission you are unwilling to do, (remember that whole bit about how proud the lot of you were by just how great your inability to impact us as a people was?) you should just sit down and move out of the way. The responses in this thread were simply the result of Black women understanding the potential Black media has to affect our cultural perceptions of ourselves as it relates to people of other races and the fact that we are minorities. So it's not surprising that a Black man would come along and comprehend zilche of what is being said...it all makes perfect sense as you are not as involved in impacting the Black experience positively as some of your female counterparts and proud of it on top of that, by your own admission. I'm also not surprised that a Black man would use insults based on physical appearance as a first resort when coming across a Black woman who speaks on behalf of us as a people or on behalf of herself. You couldn't even keep it intellectual for a few sentences---just straight to the outdated hodgepodge of "you're an overeater with nappy hair and big lips," However, calling us Shaniqua, quoting numbers that apply to less than half of Black females and name calling isn't going to stop Black women from going to school, pursuing education and careers, serving their communities, being independent, and standing up for ourselves and challenging the derogatory misconceptions society as a whole and Black men choose to believe about Black women ....you can continue to just spew insults to try to get us to slow down so you can catch up but it hasn't worked to date and won't work in the future. That's why the other people stopped responding, because there is nothing to say....you could stand to take a page from their book. Usually the slow kid in class is good at being a class clown but you are unsuccessful at committing to either---> epic fail. First you write jokes that flop, so you rewrite them and they still suck. Then you sound like a tap dancing butler in Blackface with your, "oh--nobody knoooowwwsss my strugggle, I didn't go to school, my daddy read by candellight" but you run off numbers like you work for the Census Bureau and want someone to take the negative things you say about Black women seriously. Okay....your best bet would be to pick one: dumb or simple and work on really honing that trait, at least then you would be consistent. So let's see...you've caught more cases than you have degrees and Ichibod by his own admission finds the other male members of this forum to be cute...hmmm, your demographic has relied on quoting drug addicts and racist terms from yesteryear to make statements about Black women...what are you 0 for 3 now...I mean we've got a queen, a con, and an underachiever....I don't have to quote anything to stereotype you all because the more you type the more you reveal....you just make it sooo easy! And yes, I imagine you do have work to do, just keep on and keep on shuffling until you make it to where the majority of Black women already are, all the while shouting futile insults as though that's going to get you there quicker.
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shasha says:Posted: 13 Mar 10
America is a pretty big place, everyone's experiences are different. The backwoods barber shop/beauty shop talk really has no place in today's dialogue regarding race, love, sex, life, money, family, etc. My mama never allowed us to begin a sentence with, "all Black people..." or "all White people..." ever! We have got to get over the name-calling and over generalizing!! Some say I'm from another planet. Hell yeah, and I'm here to squash stereotypes and blast narrow-mindedness. I've got my ray gun loaded!
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Member says:Posted: 12 Mar 10
(Drinking orange juice) You wrote a long winded post again. I am starting to see a pattern here. People complain I twist their posts. Obviously, this long post would take my weeks to reply back. I will just keep it simple. Bri said this "The problem with you quoting statistics is that you are connecting them to color when the statistics you are quoting are the result of economic status, not race." Statistics also addresses race. Economic status is not the sole reason why 48 percent of higher of black women have herpes. Try again.... You also said this........ "however the fact that statistics between minority groups who both have high poverty rates are similar is my point….none of the generalizations you mentioned are exclusive to women of a specific color, you simply choose to make it seem that way and that is what is offensive." You continue to be confused. How can I make anything seem a "way"? You just said minority groups have high poverty rates. You turn around and say it is not exclusive to women of color. HUH????? White people are the larger race in the country. Proportionally they have a lower poverty rate in comparison to Hispanic and Black people proportionally to their race. You said this.... "You choose to stereotype Black women but do not give equal attention to statistics that exist about Black men because that would require you to stereotype yourself. You and Fenway both keep saying “by your own admission”……and then quote things I’ve never said….you typed “By your own admission, black women from all social classes are having some dating problems”…..I never said that, I primarily only focused on one social class in my previous post anyway so I’m not sure why you’re fabricating statements to bolster your argument." Where are the "stereotypes"? Black women of all social classes are not having dating problems now?? Fabricate what exactly? What social class are you "focusing on"? You generalize too. I just read your long winded post concerning the "downlow" thing. Everybody generalize to some degree. You said this.... "You rely solely on stereotypes to make your points and not facts. Like when you wrote: “You blame the teacher but won’t spend 2 hours with your kid to go over his homework or help him or her with it. You hardly attend PTA meeting to check your child’s progress. You don’t ask for the email address of the teacher. But can email 2 white men and schedule rendezvous with them like “Bama” does.” You are singling out a person in this forum you do not know and assuming things about their life" (Laughing) You got me on the Bama thing. I couldn't help myself. As for some children's parents not putting in the time with their child after school, that is actually true. I actually talk to "teachers" about it. I am sorry you hate the harsh realities of life. I work in a school. I work with kids in their "home". My facts are the fact, that a good amount of minority children in urban schools are not graduating "high school". What are you blind or something? You want the teacher to be a "social worker". Even if the school was crumbling, that is no excuse "not to learn". Stop fucking blaming the teachers and schools. My father couldn't afford to go to school. He was in shed with a candle reading a book as a youngster. My father grew up in extreme poverty with his sisters and brothers. My mother was very privileged growing up and went to private schools. I am not trying to hear that shit. Parents should be more involved in their child's education PERIOD! You said this "those reports hit the public way back when I was in high school, it brought to light that the rates of STDs were markedly high among middle-aged MARRIED Black women as a direct result of the number of BLACK MEN taking erectile dysfunction medicines to force themselves to have erections and engaging in extramarital affairs and unprotected sex with women and men (remember, on the downlow was a term created thanks to your demographic) without their wives knowing" Black men are taking erectile dysfunction medicines to "force" themselves to have "extramarital" affairs and unprotected sex with women. This is why black women fail. I use date very intellectual black women. Obviously, it never lasted long because they say "statements" like these. The smarter the black woman, the more socially awkward she is. All I can do is laugh. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (waiting taking a tissue and wiping my eyes) Lastly, you said this.... "majority of Black women are in relationships with Black men then what you are really saying is that as a Black women the best thing I can do to avoid becoming a statistic is to have nothing to do with Black men……thanks for bringing that to my attention Lauren, I’ll be sure to spread the word to fellow Black women, I’ll let them know it’s been Negro approved =)" You do what you have to do. Petty threats will not deter black men. It all the same excuses. The "evil" black men is humping me and giving me "stds". I simply have no control of my body. I can't even control the type of man that could father my children. Go take that to Oprah or Russia Today news. Fenway don't even respond to you. I find you amusing though. First you say "don't take stock" in statistics. Then you read off statistics about black men. LOL Like Obama said "You can't have it both ways". LOL Back to work.
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Bri says:Posted: 12 Mar 10
You need to brush up on your comprehension skills as I did attribute the negative perception of Black women to society, I did say however that you agreeing with a biased view of your own race explicitly as it relates to the women of your race is stupid. Just because a racist society stereotypes your community is not grounds to agree with it. The problem with you quoting statistics is that you are connecting them to color when the statistics you are quoting are the result of economic status, not race. I'm also not sure why you're repeating statistics about Latinos that I already mentioned, however the fact that statistics between minority groups who both have high poverty rates are similar is my point....none of the generalizations you mentioned are exclusive to women of a specific color, you simply choose to make it seem that way and that is what is offensive. I never said you called all Black women poor what I did say was that you took statistics about poor women and tried to use them as a representation of all Black women. Obama does not cater to Black women, he caters to the entire U.S. population but when the President of the United States sees fit to take time out his national agenda for no other reason than to address the lack of Black men accepting the responsibility of fatherhood after they make children speaks volumes about the Black men from low income communities where these negative trends are seen the most. All I did was bring to your attention that you are quoting statistics that have nothing to do with color as they relate to women while conveniently ignoring the wealth of statistics that exist for men from these same communities. You choose to stereotype Black women but do not give equal attention to statistics that exist about Black men because that would require you to stereotype yourself. You and Fenway both keep saying "by your own admission"......and then quote things I've never said....you typed "By your own admission, black women from all social classes are having some dating problems".....I never said that, I primarily only focused on one social class in my previous post anyway so I'm not sure why you're fabricating statements to bolster your argument. But if that's what you want to argue then it would be fair to say that since the majority of Black women are in relationships with Black men but are experiencing "problems" as you say perhaps those problems arise from your demographic and not mine. Single motherhood is as much a reflection of the father as the mother. I just love how single motherhood carries a stigma for the woman but a father walking out on his children does not carry an equal stigma for the man. All the nonsense you put forth about Black women and their children is an equal statement about the Black men with which those children were made....which is why the remainder of your comments reflect back on yourself and not Black women. So your statement, "Perhaps, they should have seminars for black women to pick the right men to "father" their children," is really saying since the majority of Black women have children fathered by Black men then the first lesson of those "seminars" would be, whatever you do, don't have children with a Black man, correct? Essentially as a Black man that is what you are saying about yourself. And then when you say, "You can 'weed" out the men "that do not stick around for your child," I suppose that would involve considering all Black men unfit? So according to you I guess Black women should stereotype Black men in the same ways you've chosen to stereotype us? And I suppose for a Black woman "picking the right man" would mean picking whichever man isn't Black? If middle class Black women exhibit the same rates of single motherhood as low income Black women (which is hearsay and remains to be proven) it's not likely that they can't pick the right men, instead it's likely that they are picking Black men and it's the statistics about absentee fathers that hold true across class divides which inevitably influence statistics about single motherhood. You choose to look at statistics about our community as flaws Black women have...who's to say in actuality it's not that Black men of all classes are deadbeat dads and that is what accounts for rates of single motherhood across class?....instead you choose to say every Black woman chooses an unsuitable partner, meanwhile 90% of Black women are in relationships with Black men....wouldn't that mean the unsuitable partners are you? Calling someone names is one thing but it's interesting that you as a Black man would take derogatory terms that White racists once used on all of us and use them on Black women....you have a very ignorant sense of humor. If school reform were not directly related to academic success and furthermore if secondary education did not serve as a platform to higher education opportunities and career success then our president would not be working to improve schools now...he would just tell all students suffering in poor school systems to get over it. You can't just make up facts as you please to help make your statements sensible. A student's performance in school is the burden of the child's parents but the state of the school itself does effect that child's academic growth and it's no secret that low income communities have poor schools...i.e. less avenues through which younger generations can seek opportunities out of these communities to create lifestlyes other than what they see everyday. I didn't turn the conversation from dating to schools I just drew attention to one of several factors starting from childhood that influence one's endpoint...so while you choose to make generalizations about Black female adults you fail to give adequate attention to the environments in which these same Black children started, mind you by children I mean both boys and girls, therefore Black men exhibit the same shortcomings in adulthood you try to pin on Black women only. You rely solely on stereotypes to make your points and not facts. Like when you wrote: "You blame the teacher but won't spend 2 hours with your kid to go over his homework or help him or her with it. You hardly attend PTA meeting to check your child's progress. You don't ask for the email address of the teacher. But can email 2 white men and schedule rendezvous with them like "Bama" does." You are singling out a person in this forum you do not know and assuming things about their life, parenting skills and involvement in their child's education based on nothing other than their race and gender....you are the very opposite of intelligent. Mac computers, journals?!? You're funny...I don't know too many schools in low income communities that have those things but I know a lot of schools in middle and upper class communities that do. So because more Blacks live below poverty than Whites you take the characteristics of these communities and attribute them to being Black and because more Whites live in upper and middle class communities you take the trends from those communities and attribute them to Whiteness? ??? Everything you mentioned has nothing to do with race. If everyone in American society switched places...if the majority of Whites lived below poverty and the majority of Blacks were upper class then the statistics that exist about Blacks would instead describe Whites and the statistics that exist about Whites would describe Blacks. You choose to glorify individuals of a certain race at the expense of your own based on differences that are the result of socioeconomic status. And you keep repeating the same jokes hun, I advised you to work on your routine but I guess that was setting the expectations too high. I can't imagine a single person who would reread and reread your CAPSLOCK foolishness and actually find it funny. Send my condolences to your Black wife and whatever students you plan on teaching in the future, you are obviously chockfull of lovely lessons about why Black women are such lowly creatures. And since you love to keep referencing statistics about Black women here are a few tokens of reality for your insufficient intellect: The incarceration rate of Black males is seven times that of Black females....80% of Black children live in fatherless homes as compared to 40% of children of other races....rates of drug abuse are highest among Black men.....and the rubbish about STDs is entertaining when you consider the rate of incarceration of Black men, in other words the number of Black men shacking with their prison cellmates, and the rate of homosexuality among Black men I don't think it's hard to infer that Black men have the highest rates in terms of STDs either...as a matter of fact the rates of STDs among Black women have been directly linked to the fact that Black women sleep with Black men...those reports hit the public way back when I was in high school, it brought to light that the rates of STDs were markedly high among middle-aged MARRIED Black women as a direct result of the number of BLACK MEN taking erectile dysfunction medicines to force themselves to have erections and engaging in extramarital affairs and unprotected sex with women and men (remember, on the downlow was a term created thanks to your demographic) without their wives knowing. So whereas Black women may exhibit trends that are higher compared to White women these same trends are damn near non-existent when compared to the sheer magnitude of the statistics that exist about Black men. Those statistics trump all, regardless of race AND gender, Black men take the cake. The difference between me and you is I don't choose to pigeonhole individuals I do not know into a stereotype based on the color of their skin, however since you choose to do so about Black women but ignore the fact that many of these statistics are relationship dependent (i.e. relating to parenthood and sexual partners) and the majority of Black women are in relationships with Black men then what you are really saying is that as a Black women the best thing I can do to avoid becoming a statistic is to have nothing to do with Black men......thanks for bringing that to my attention Lauren, I'll be sure to spread the word to fellow Black women, I'll let them know it's been Negro approved =)
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Member says:Posted: 08 Mar 10
Dear Bri I just caught some of the "book" you wrote on here. First, you rail off everything that is affecting the black community. But I am "somehow" to blame for the perception that "all black women" are poor with kids. You can blame society for that. My cousin's wife went to the doctor's office with their son. The nurse said "oh its okay, you are not the only one without the father around". Needless to say, she was "upset" about that. This is the perception of society. You said this "You quote statistics about Black women as though they are characteristics of being Black instead of characteristics of being poor or uneducated….it just so happens that in this country the number of individuals that are poor and uneducated are majority Black." Um, you can't argue with numbers. So what is your problem with me saying the statistics? Actually, "Latin immigrants" have a high poverty rate. You mentioned characteristics of the poor and uneducated. What are those characteristics that you are offended by? "Black people who belong to middle of upper class communities do not exhibit the same rates of drug abuse, unemployment, or out of wedlock children as do those who live in economically challenged environments…i.e. all the things you mention are not examples of Blackness they are examples of poverty. That’s why they also ring true for the majority of individuals who are not Black who also share these living environments with Blacks. You are a pathetic waste of space to try to portray Black women as being a certain way because they are Black instead of because they are poor." I am middle class so why would I say all black women suffer from poverty. However, the "out wedlock" birth rate is high among "middle class black women". The Std rates is high as well "across" all classes of black women. We can always research it. Again, your whole tirade is confusing. You admit "there are" poor black women". But seem upset that I called "all black women" poor. You need to show me where I said that. Also, you just said a "MAJORITY" of black people are poor and uneducated. You kind of "cornered" yourself. I guess it is okay "when you say it". You also said this "Black communities also have the highest rates of single motherhood—Black communities are void of leaders and fathers. If you want to stereotype Black women you should give equal attention to the trends among Black men from these same communities. The NAACP has to have a seminars to teach Black men how to be fathers…it’s something even Obama took time to address, and you think the state of economically disadvantaged Black communities has nothing to do with that." Right, so what was I lying about? By your own admission, black women from all social classes are having some dating problems. Perhaps, you just dislike me. I really don't know who you are, to call you names. I will address your points. Perhaps, they should have seminars for black women to pick the right men to "father" their children. It is always easy to "fall into" the blame black men for "everything doctrine". Black women have more power than you think. You can close your legs, I can't fuck you and make you "prego" without your permission. You can 'weed" out the men "that do not stick around for your child". What happened to personal responsibility? You "suspected" he was with "other women". You got knocked up and now black men are at fault for that? Barak Obama is catering to black women because they are a strong "voting block". He will never say " damn black women close your legs and pick the right man". I have the luxury of doing that because I am not a politician or an editor employed by anybody. The truth conflicts with political correctness. I wouldn't tell you the truth, If I didn't care about black women. You are still doing the "same" tired arguments from like 10-15 years ago. Black men need to be better "fathers" and etc. That is true but you need to "start" being with men "you knew" was with other women. You can't be that damn naive. Also, you mean to tell me, the supposed "middle class black women" that I allegedly speak "badly" of, can excel in academics. But can't seem to pick the right man that will stick around for their kids. You also this "You’re talking to a Black woman who works extensively in my community, someone who’s watched her parents and grandparents work in Black communities so your baseless statements about complaining and doing nothing are very far off. But talking to you is pointless because you are too ignorant for your own good, you’ve referred to me as “nappy head”…”sellout black woman”….”cotton picking Negro”….”black women catching the “Tatt” bitchassness flu” and stereotypes like ‘Beauty School” and then say “I ain’t apologizing for shit I say about black women" I am proud of your service in the black community. As for the other statements, you left out my other comments like "loose booty" , "slut bucket (That was new). The bitchassness flu was a classic. LOL People call each other names on here all the time. Get real. Back to being serious, you said this.... " Blacks are not responsible for the lack of good schools in their neighborhoods their economic disparity is and their lack of opportunities starts of vicious cycle of lack of achievement." The school is not the problem , nor the teachers. The problem is this entitlement "generation" of children with every video game under the sun and the parents "unwilling" to discipline them. You blame the teacher but won't spend 2 hours with your kid to go over his homework or help him or her with it. You hardly attend PTA meeting to check your child's progress. You don't ask for the email address of the teacher. But can email 2 white men and schedule rendezvous with them like "Bama" does. WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON? (CHRIS ROCK VOICE) You have kids in Africa that would love a free public education. A bad "school here" (pointing here) is a damn 'PRIVATE school" in Africa and other "third world countries". Everybody wants to blame the school! You need to blame the parents. Even if the teacher was "not the best", they give kids books to read and resources. They give them "journals" and assignments. They give them pencils, crayons, math books, and Mac computers. You want the teacher "wipe your kid's ass and rock them to bed now"? Come the 'FUCK ON". Lastly, we call each other names. I got no problem with that. We just differ on what " is working for black women and black people". The topic just shifted from dating to schools. Anyway, Bri you kind of suffering from the "bitchassness flu". I am working on a cure for black women. Man look for that "IF TOMORROW COMES FOR SELLOUT BLACK WOMEN'. The follow up Blog Album " THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW FOR SELLOUT BLACK WOMEN". That will be released later in the week. I will have to reread the Bri post because she jumped all over the place. This post was long enough. I can't do it in one post.
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Bri says:Posted: 08 Mar 10
Laurelton, No one is hiding from the lower socioeconomic side of the Black community you loser. I mentioned several of the issues that effect the lower socioeconomic side of the Black community but unlike you I did not make them an innate characteristic of being Black I connected them to the environments in which these individuals live. If there were just as many Whites economically disadvantaged as Blacks then you would see the same incidences occurring in their communities at the same rates. You quote statistics about Black women as though they are characteristics of being Black instead of characteristics of being poor or uneducated....it just so happens that in this country the number of individuals that are poor and uneducated are majority Black. That's what it means to be predisposed to the "incarceration, stds, out of wedlock children" to which you refer. Black people who belong to middle of upper class communities do not exhibit the same rates of drug abuse, unemployment, or out of wedlock children as do those who live in economically challenged environments...i.e. all the things you mention are not examples of Blackness they are examples of poverty. That's why they also ring true for the majority of individuals who are not Black who also share these living environments with Blacks. You are a pathetic waste of space to try to portray Black women as being a certain way because they are Black instead of because they are poor. You are choosing to demonize your own race....is White America going to send you a check in the mail after you're done trying to single-handedly denigrate Blacks? You're working for them overtime with the statements you've made. You think if every woman with a child out of wedlock went to a high school that wasn't below par and attended college she would still be that same person? No, she would be a professional, probably not have children out of wedlock and experience the lifestyle that the middle and upper class takes for granted. Her lifestyle is the result of a lack of equal opportunity afforded to low income individuals, not a result of being Black. It's just gotten to the point that because so many Blacks live below poverty society as a whole has come to associate that lifestyle with being Black....and as a Black man you sound extremely stupid agreeing with this biased view of your own race. If Black children from the hood switched place with privileged White children then Black children would achieve the same things that privileged White children do because they have the resources. And if as a Black man your approach to ways in which you can impact your own community is nothing more than sarcasm then you are only proving my point. I mentioned that Black men who have a disconnect from their community are part of the reason Black communities fail. Black communities also have the highest rates of single motherhood---Black communities are void of leaders and fathers. If you want to stereotype Black women you should give equal attention to the trends among Black men from these same communities. The NAACP has to have a seminars to teach Black men how to be fathers...it's something even Obama took time to address, and you think the state of economically disadvantaged Black communities has nothing to do with that. When you do have a Black man who has the potential to help his own community his response it that it is ridiculous to do so. Personal responsibility can only get you so far....at some point Blacks who do have the resources to do so have to start providing opportunities for people from their own communities to enjoy the same success they do and get out. Every poor Black kid will not receive a scholarship or a grant, affirmative action only covers some of us....so what happens to the remainder who have the same aspirations and dreams of the middle and upper class but can't afford access to them? No one said that the social issues that effect Blacks are not avoidable but their prevalence has everything to do with lack of money, opportunity and resources. Unemployment rates are always highest in inner cities, not because the people there are Black Einstein but because there are not as many businesses at which these individuals can seek jobs. Blacks are not responsible for the lack of good schools in their neighborhoods their economic disparity is and their lack of opportunities starts of vicious cycle of lack of achievement. You're talking to a Black woman who works extensively in my community, someone who's watched her parents and grandparents work in Black communities so your baseless statements about complaining and doing nothing are very far off. But talking to you is pointless because you are too ignorant for your own good, you've referred to me as "nappy head"..."sellout black woman"...."cotton picking Negro"...."black women catching the "Tatt" bitchassness flu" and stereotypes like 'Beauty School" and then say "I ain't apologizing for shit I say about black women." I really don't have to do much to prove your are a fool....you're more than willing to prove it yourself with your remarks. Go watch reruns of Living Color or whatever you do to get more material for your degradation of the Black community routine. Next time I'm going to need you to come with more than my name is Laquita, my children have 4 different daddies and I suppose now I'm a crackhead too? You are a hot mess...
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Member says:Posted: 03 Mar 10
Am I the ONLY one who sees where Bri is coming from? Where she's going? As a result of generations upon generations of African-Americans in this country being indoctrinated in all kinds of ways for 400+ years, who's to say that Black men dating White women ISN'T indicative of some deeper psychological issue? It might not be politically correct to say, but it's CERTAINLY a valid point. The thing to remember here is that Black men, EN MASSE, overwhelmingly date, prefer and marry Black women. With that being said, you're going to have Black men who are as messed up as bri says. Men who DO feel that Black women are somehow "less than" and this becomes a problem if more Black men adhere to that mentality. But, THOSE guys are rare anamolies ...and do not represent a good majority of BM. They don't even represent a good majority of the BM who date out. I'm a Black man who prefers Black women, which is probably why it's my first post on this site ...and I care deeply about our community. VERY deeply. So I guess I can empathize with bri's position. She's just concerned is all.
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Member says:Posted: 25 Feb 10
Dear Bri I spew derogatory statements about my own race? You said this.... "Your statements about pregnancy in Black communities and women with children by different men happening “too often” in Black communities is not true…a lot of statistics concerning parenthood are similar across different minority groups and damn near identical in Black and Latino communities…you however, as a Black man choose to portray women of your own race differently than you do women of other races because you are ignorant. You waste your time filling this forum with negative stereotypes about Black women that actually hold true for women from every background, race, and economic status! And all the issues I mentioned that effect Black communities is the very exact and equal opposite of what you are accusing me of. How could I be hiding from “the lower socioeconomic side of the black community” when I mentioned several familial issues to which many Black families are predisposed as a direct result of the disproportionate number of Black people who live on the wrong side of the economic gap in America?" Portray black women how? They have the highest rates of incarceration, stds, out of wedlock children. I am sorry to say this is the reality we live in. What negative stereotypes are you upset about? Uh, you are hiding from the lower economic side of the black community because you say I am stereotyping. These issues I have mentioned don't happen in the black community? Perhaps, I am wrong since I was raised in the black community NAPPY HEAD! You corner yourself in the last part of your paragraph... "Black families are predisposed as a direct result of the disproportionate number of Black people who live on the wrong side of the economic gap in America?" WHAT IN "SAM HILL" ARE YOU EVEN SAYING? You also said this drivel " a Black man like the one I was originally speaking with comes across as extremely stupid to me when he puts forth that it is RIDICULOUS to assume he can impact our race struggle. I was drawing attention to how foolish it is for someone with two degrees to say he can’t impact our race struggle…..that’s who you should be addressing! " I got two degrees. Yea, I can impact the race struggle by telling Negros stay in school. Try to NOT commit crimes. For god's sake don't get a felony. What else do you propose for me to do? You want me to hold their hands too. I can type up their resume. There is something called personal responsibility. That is something sellout black women haven't learned yet. They rather blame everyone but themselves for their "fuck ups". When I was fucked up in my youth. Never listened to my dad and mom. I ended up in jail as a teen. Who can I blame for that? I can only blame myself. I am not one of these pampered "negros" that see a couple Feed the children commercials and start pointing fingers at people that are "well off". You can avoid out of wedlock children, STDS and incarceration. It is avoidable. You can never question me at all. I take care of my woman (who is black). We live well. I strive to be the best at what I do in 2 jobs. I will be a teacher next year. I always improving myself. These cotton picking Negros think complaining is going to get somewhere in life. I learned a long time ago. There are black men that talk about shit. Than, there are those who "actually" make it happen. I ain't apologizing for shit I say about black women. I might do a Tiger Wood's press conference telling black women, you fucked up. Dating, how you treat black men. All that shit is your fault and leave the podium and hug my dear old mother. Just because you gossip with your friends at "Beauty School" does not make you an intellectual. Look for that "Sellout Street Medicine". COMING SOON. Some of these black women catching the "Tatt" bitchassness flu. I got a treatment for them.
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Bri says:Posted: 25 Feb 10
Ichibod, no one went off on Topdeck...I called her naive because she is a White woman who has zero comprehension for any experience but her White cultural experience. Her exact words were that we could "stand to learn a lesson" from the examples of interracial dating afforded us.....however, she conveniently ignored all the derogatory commentary from Black men about Black women. There are plenty of women who are in interracial relationships with Black men who ignore how those same Black men degrade Black women and fail to make the connection between the fact that a Black man who degrades Black women and only dates women who are not Black is not someone we should seek to imitate and furthermore that his relationship is a manifestation of his negative feelings towards Black women. Topdeck also asked me why I was "making some issues more important than others" That's my point....as a Black woman advocating for my own race when I live in a country that serves her race is somehow making some issues more important than others? Only a White person with an extremely narrow-minded view of the world could pose a question like that. As a minority speaking up for my own community is not making some issues more important than others it's necessary. If anything I should be asking her as a White woman why society continues to treat Whites with more importance than they do other races. Her comments sound similar to those of White people who said Blacks were racist because 96% of Blacks voted for Barack. The second a Black person is pro-themselves Whites cry making or issues more important than others despite the fact that we live in a country that is pro-the White agenda...that's why Topdeck is naive. Users such a Kalin littered this forum with negative generalizations about Black women...you seriously think if someone like him was in a relationship with a White woman she would bother to know that her boyfriend puts forth such negative comments about women of his own race...no, she would just run to her computer and instead tell everyone else that they could stand to learn lessons from men like him because her experience is the White cultural experience without an iota of understanding for anything but. I don't expect a White woman to get that their are Black men who refer to Black women as nappy and unattractive or talk about how they will not date brown- or dark-skinned Black women. Women of other races just date Black men without the slightest hint of the way those same Black men treat us. She's here endorsing all interracial relationships despite the fact that this forum has plenty of examples of Black men who are only in interracial relationships because of the way they stereotype women from their own communities. She even goes so far as to praise those men. I didn't imply Fenway knew his cosigner, I referred to him that way because of my refusal to directly address Mr. Queens stupid remarks and to bring it to Fenway's attention that Black men like Mr. Queens were piggy-backing off of his comments. I didn't realize you interpreted everything so literally. And no I do not think a bald man with an oblong milk dud head and weird expression on his face is cute...perhaps you're the one who's delusional.
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Bri says:Posted: 25 Feb 10
Fenway, I addressed your cosigner as your cosigner because his comments were too ignorant to deserve a direct response. I didn't feel I should have to explain to a Black man who says Black women are named Shameka and have multiple children by multiple men why he was stupid. He didn't deserve the time of day. Referring to him as your girlfriend was sarcasm genius because you're here trying to make me stop talking by calling my honesty bitterness and he's here piggy-backing off of your comments.....that's why I said you should look at how what you say comes across because a Black female basher is playing for your team and if that's not how you view yourself then you should examine why your commentary appeals to someone who does. How is it bitter to take issue with a Black man who stereotypes Black women negatively? How is it jaded to have a problem with a Black man who is a bad example and representation for/of his own race? I'm bitter because I think a Black man who refers to Black women as fat overeaters with bad attitudes and nappy hair is out of line? Really? As a Black woman I'm the one with the problem? Have you read none of the other posts in this forum? No one is responding to the dumbasses making posts of that nature...they're just responding to the Black women who express their distaste with those posts. It it not ridiculous for me to criticize ways of thought that effect my community negatively....and newsflash, the mentality from a Black man that has only negative things to say about Black women, the majority of them not true or not exclusive to Black women, affects Black women negatively. It is not ridiculous for me to bring these issues to light. No one criticized Black men who are in interracial relationships..I criticized Black men who degrade Black women, Black men who have a disconnect from their own communities and Black men who put women of other races on a pedestal....all forms of thought that usually go hand in hand with interracial dating. I didn't say every Black man belonged to that category but some do and furthermore are so bold as to articulate their way of thoughts in the comments above. I pointed out that as long as this very forum is overrun with negative statements about Black women coming from Black men then it is ridiculous to continue generalizing positively about all interracial daters and endorsing Black men who think its okay to flock to their keyboards and call Black women nappy and unattractive and refer to us as being mothers of multiple bastard children. If you think it's normal to condone that type of commentary something is seriously wrong with you. And it is no secret that this negative commentary is going in one direction...from Black men about Black women. There are no Black women in this forum posting lists of all the reason Black men are inferior to men of other races which is why I pointed out the differences in rates of college attendance. My point was that there are more Black women who as a direct result of being college educated...either attend school or work in more diverse environments than the communities where they may have spent most of their childhood lives so the odds of a Black woman meeting a successful man of another race are extremely higher than meeting a brokedown Rodman type...something you don't consider when you look at interracial dating trends of Black men versus Black women. Laurelton Queens for example says he did not go to school....but he is still here demonstrating his contempt for Black women.....a Black man like him who has issues with Black women versus a Black woman like myself in an environment where I am one of a few Black females surrounded by men of every race and economic status...should both of us happen to be in interracial relationships it would be for very different reasons...his being his personal holdups with Black women versus mine being in an environment where there are hardly any Black men. I also never expressed my dating preferences so I never admitted to dating anyone of any specific race anywhere in my statements. And your statement about Dennis Rodman was also a narrow-minded view of Black men in that industry period. I pointed out that it was silly of you to even open pandora's box by using a pro-athlete as an example because there are more Black men who come into fame in sports or music who are in interracial relationships with women who would not have given them the time of day when they were broke....there are few examples of that scenario in reverse....furthermore most of these men were in relationships with Black women until they became famous...so using Rodman as an example only drew attention to all his peers, many of whom prove my point. And even Rodman's statements are stupid....I'm sure there were plenty of Asian, White and Hispanic women who were not interested in him when he was a loser but wanted to be his groupies when he was accompllished, that's not specific to Black women...being attracted to a wealthy man because of his wealth is not unique to Black women...goldiggers come in all colors, Rodman CHOSE to emphasize that as a trait of Black women in typical Black-male-degrading-Black-female fashion. Have you seen his wife anyway? You really think she was a good samaritan for hooking up with Rodman when he was nothing? No! She's a user just like him and has had countless extramarital affairs..Rodman's relationship was just an example of one loser hooking up with another...not a White woman dating a Black guy despite the fact he wears dresses and abuses drugs because she's a saint. And since when is going to a school that's predominantly White a bad thing? Last time I checked it won a Black man the White house. You think attending Ivy-League schools is not part of putting a Black foot in the door to be equally successful in industries that are dominated by Whites? Really, like as a Black woman going to an Ivy-League school is not positive for minorities? You are not my contemporary...my contemporary is a Black male who understands that his academic, economic or career progress is something that can be used to benefit his race as a whole....that's a principle by which I live my entire life...I went to school to better serve my community, not to run away from it...I would never put forth a statement so idiotic such as "it is RIDICULOUS to assume I impact the Black race struggle"...you typify the very type of Black man I was referring to....the type who has convinced himself he has no part to play in the Black community and who could care less about the issues that still effect us as a people and you are also proving that your type of thinking and interracial dating go hand in hand which is what I said from the jump.
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Bri says:Posted: 25 Feb 10
At Laurelton Queens...I did not do the same thing I accused you of. I simply told you a bit about my background because you made some extremely crass and rude generalizations about Black women only...generalizations you are not making about women of other races which is why I felt necessary to bring it to your attention that your ignorant opinion is not a fact and Black women like myself prove just that. Your statements about pregnancy in Black communities and women with children by different men happening "too often" in Black communities is not true...a lot of statistics concerning parenthood are similar across different minority groups and damn near identical in Black and Latino communities...you however, as a Black man choose to portray women of your own race differently than you do women of other races because you are ignorant. You waste your time filling this forum with negative stereotypes about Black women that actually hold true for women from every background, race, and economic status! And all the issues I mentioned that effect Black communities is the very exact and equal opposite of what you are accusing me of. How could I be hiding from "the lower socioeconomic side of the black community" when I mentioned several familial issues to which many Black families are predisposed as a direct result of the disproportionate number of Black people who live on the wrong side of the economic gap in America? The "lower socioeconomic side of the black community" is who I am speaking on behalf of which is why a Black man like the one I was originally speaking with comes across as extremely stupid to me when he puts forth that it is RIDICULOUS to assume he can impact our race struggle. I was drawing attention to how foolish it is for someone with two degrees to say he can't impact our race struggle.....that's who you should be addressing! And as a Black woman who went to a good school but now works in my community any Black person who says it's ridiculous to assume they can impact our race struggle is an idiot. And it's no secret that a lot of interracial relationships are the result of that type of thinking, i.e. a disconnect with one's own race and desperate attempt to disassociate from "the lower socioeconomic side" your race because of the negative stereotypes that plague those individuals. Yet, you come to a forum and broadcast those very same stereotypes and then assume everyone feels as negatively as you do about Black women. No you are not saying what people think in their head...believe it or not there are actually Black people in this world who don't go around spewing derogatory stereotypes about their own race on the worldwide web....I can't believe you think it's normal to do so yourself.
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mecca77 says:Posted: 24 Feb 10
@tattedtodeath.. your funny.. tyler perry has put a lot of our sisters and brothers to work thank good. because. i was like damn where are all the black people at. well as you know by the year i would say i am just guessing.l 2020 america will be east indians and hispanic . now not saying that's a bad thing. well face it everytime i call to get customer service. it's always bombay tech support. and face it where are we in this scenario. your going to look around one day and say hey!!.. where the black people at!! you know how we roll , when we are at one of the foo foo. she , she functions nothing european and no blacks . see one brother or sister. we say to ourselves. whew!!.. a black person. come on i am not the only one so stop making me feel like it... yeah we do have laugh sometimes. its good for the soul.
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mecca77 says:Posted: 24 Feb 10
wow... you people need to get laid.. so do i but anywho. wonka... tiger is black. i do not care what anyone says if you have according to the united states if you have 1/3 black blood. your considered. negro. african american . black. not half. not just a little bit of white. black get the facts. true wonka i agree with you. but only in america right? bur people been marry interacially for years who cares i have enough on my plate right now. than to worry who marrying what race. big f..king deal. really . i do not know what essence is talking about it is run by the johnson family. need i say more. yeah i said it!!.. but all and all tiger woods do suck!! for what he did he knows exactly what he was doing. during his so-called rehearsed speech. he did admit one thing. and i quote. "I thought i can get away with it". well shiver me timbers!!!.. duh you did. but you got caught. men fail to realize. with technology . why do they think they are exempt? hey you know when your in the spot light. they are watching every move. its frustrating . if your so sensitive to this shit.. why do it? that what i want to know. then he rants.everyone is in my business. well you made it everyone business. when you got caught!!!. you have been creeping anyway dude. not me judging . it is, what it is.
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MzBrOwNSuGaR says:Posted: 23 Feb 10
To neverdun17 : Sorry, I didn't mean to put your nic at the end of that. I had intended to respond to your post but decided not to on that, but forgot to take your name off. I felt like your post, at least part of it, was very supportive of black women and it was refreshing to see. The last part I thought was a polite slap in the face, but maybe I read it wrong. Yes we perm our hair, wear braids, some wigs, some weaves, some curly etc. That has nothing to do with us not loving who we are. Eventhough you seemed to doubt it, making it more easy to manage is one of the reasons. But for the most part, it's a female thing. The wearing different styles, trying new looks, even different hair colors. I don't know if you are aware of it or not, but black women are not exclusive in this, and the hair you see on white women and other women, is not all nature. I tip my hat to my fellow sisters, who I know for a fact are indeed confident with themselves and do in deed feel beautiful. Even when our OWN men say some of the things they have said here.
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MzBrOwNSuGaR says:Posted: 23 Feb 10
The one thing I have noticed as I have read through different topics and posts here, as well as other sites, is never do I see the white men down-grade and disrespect white women the way I see these black men doing. I find it very sad that this is what we have come to. It's the same feeling I remember having when I first tried to figure out when and why, and at what point our young black men, and some women, decided they would join gangs and gun each down. The hatred within the black race and the need to tear each other down. To get on a mixed forum like this, and see black men use terms like wide noses, kinky/nappy hair, big lips. It's a crying shame. neverdun17
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wonka says:Posted: 21 Feb 10
Thank you sooooo much TYRANT,I've said this so many times,tiger woods is a disgrace to himself and his race,he's F---ing BLACK,bottomline.The guy wants to be everything in the book besides what he is A BLACK MAN!!!!,ok.Evidentally,now he's a buddhist,he's a true scumbag,I have NO RESPECT for him.I'll tell you somethingelse let him keep denying his race and sombody someday is truely going to put him in his place,I'm telling you!!.I've heard people say"Oh well tiger is mixed"his mom's asian ok that's evident-fine his father is black,however I've also heard that his father is bi-racial himself,yeah ok. So why in the hell did tiger come out looking black it's funny how his mom is asian,the father is so- called bi-racial,but,the child(tiger)was born looking BLACK,HMMMMMMMMMM!!! interesting.GIVE ME A FREAKIN' BREAK!!.Who does tiger think he's kidding, hey tiger your a disgrace,a wannabe,and I'll tell you somethingelse,YOUR BLACK,YOUR BLACK,YOUR BLACK!
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Exactly....why do you think that man has his shirt strategically pealing off one shoulder??????LMAO