Does sexual anatomy wreck marriage?

Not tonight, dear . . . in fact, not ever

Feminism gave women control of their sex lives, but has it gone too far? Author and sex expert Dr Pam Spurr argues that many women are risking their relationships by saying ‘no’

Before my sister got married, I accidentally eavesdropped on the advice she was giving her about marriage, “Hon, you have to be ready to attend to your husband’s sexual needs… sick or not.� Well it seems in a times online article, sex expert Dr. Pam Spurr agrees with my mum. She says women need to start having sex with their partners whether they feel like it or not.

Most women feel that the sexual side of their sex lives is their own … something to be claimed. (Well, given the rise in sexual abuse, I agree with the majority). “That’s fine for single women flexing their sexual muscles� says an author of an article I read the other day. So what should women do when in relationships? Give up their sexual autonomy?

Given the struggles and distress that come with careers and looking after the family, most women tend to ignore their sex lives. It becomes the last thing on their list of priorities. Some even go for several months without noticing they haven’t had sex with their partners. And this has pushed some husbands into having affairs (not that I am justifying cheating).

As Dr. Spurr puts it, women take a post feminism view where sex is something that needs not to be negotiated about. “In the bedroom, there is no compromise. If a man has a higher sex drive than a woman, then he can sort himself out. If he wants to try something new and she can’t be bothered, tough luck to him.�

Problem is, this feminist view has brought so much heartbreak in relationships. And Spurr points out that a sexless marriage can be a problem and gives a somewhat old-fashioned solution – both partners should consider sex as a duty. Just like doing house chores that are your responsibility in marriage (like a woman cooking or a man going to the roof to repair a leak), sex should be seen in the same light.

So what happens to ‘I don’t feel like it?’ – “Better that you just shut up and put out as to not piss off your hubby. After all, what’s more romantic than thinking of sex as a duty?â€?

Romantic? I beg to differ. What do you think? Isn’t this submission? Should you give up your right to say no to sex to save your marriage?

Tags: sex and marriage, interracial dating, online dating

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