Biologists say we should not be too surprised by spouses who have affairs
Monogamy could be the rule for the flatworm that lives in the gills of freshwater fish … but is this the case for humans and every other living creature? Apparently not. Biologists believe nature prefers that man and beast have numerous sexual partners. It’s no wonder even public figures like New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer and others get caught cheating on their mates.
But are we really wired that way?
TIME magazine’s science editor Jeffrey Kluger told TODAY’s Meredith Vieira that “Nature wants one thing, and what it wants are babies … It also wants lots of them and it wants variety, because the greater the genetic variety, the greater the likelihood that the babies are going to survive to adulthood and do well. So even when we’ve had children, we have some very primal software that keeps telling us, ‘Look around.’ ”
Apparently, those animals – like eagles, geese and beavers – that we thought remained monogamous throughout their lives get out at night for a little extra on the side according to some DNA testing. Only the freshwater flatworm that physically attaches itself to a mate for life is officially the monogamous creatures.
Most cultures are polygamous and men screwing around is perfectly acceptable. But have we evolved beyond our biological impulses? Yes! Men and women agreed that humans do have the ability to override their genetic and biological programming, with 65 percent of men and 75 percent of women ‘claiming’ that they have never cheated on their spouses.
University of Texas psychologist, David Buss however attributes this to the reputational damages that accompany straying. “When people get caught straying, they incur reputational damage, and we are very concerned about our social reputations.”
Much as people shy away from admitting such stuff, we need to remember that that both men and women experience lust in their hearts … it is normal to feel attracted to other people besides your spouse. And as much as both men and women cheat, scientifically, men are more likely to. “First of all, men simply can breed more. Men biologically can conceive a child every day if they wanted to. So we’re trip-wired for that kind of thing,” says Kluger. And personality does matter too.
However, next time you are caught with your pants down, don’t say “Biology made me do this.” I believe there is no excuse for infidelity. We have inhibitions and ability to choose whether we want to or not.
Do you believe we are wired to cheat on our mates? Who comes up with this stuff anyway coz people
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Comment by stacie305 on 14 May 2008:
I personally believe men and women cheat when their needs are being met at home…but I just don’t understand why those people simply just don’t end the currect relationship before they go out and have an affiar with someone else. You know in your heart when it’s over..you just don’t want to do the work to end the relationship. Not wired…just horny I guess. Men..before you cheat on me…just dump me…how hard is that????
Comment by cocobaker813 on 17 May 2008:
There are so many reasons behind cheating! I agree with stacie305 when she says that men and women cheat when needs aren’t met at home(by mates). I also see it as a lack of immaturity and plain laziness in some cases. If humans are supposed to be “evolved”, shouldn’t better behavior be expected of us? If a person craves diversity, don’t promise monogamy! If monogamy goes against biology, why do cheating spouses marry? And another thing, for all that easy breeding, be prepared to pay(financially, at least) for all those kids that men are “hardwired” into creating all over the place!
Comment by BREEZINBYE on 20 May 2008:
IF WE WERE ANIMALS, THEN WE WOULD NOT BE HUMANS AND HAVE THE DOMINANCE OVER THE EARTH AND SOULS FOR WHICH WE ARE ACCOUNTABLE TO GOD FOR, THEREFORE, IT IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO BLAME INFEDELITY ON BIOLOGY. WE HAVE CHOICES IN LIFE WHICH WE LIVE AND DIE BY. IF WE GIVE INTO EVERY INSTINCTUAL URGE, IT IS GIVING NO THOUGHT TO THE CONSEQUENCES INVOLVED, IF WE DENY THEY EXIST, IT ALLOWS THEM TO CONTROL US, THEREFORE, HUMAN THOUGHT MUST BALANCE INTELLIGENCE AND MORAL APPLICATION TO ENSURE THE DESIRED RESULTS OF AN ORGANIZED SOCIETY AND ACCOUNTABILITY TO GOD. OFCOURSE I, NOR ANYONE IS PERFECT, AND WE GO AGAINST OUR OWN BELIEFS AT TIMES, BUT WE MUST SET OUR COURSE FOR RIGHT!!
Comment by htblnde1977 on 21 May 2008:
I also agree with the other comments. Marriage is not mandatory so if you chose to play the field then stay out there and do it. I do not agree with the person not taking care of the other person at home being the reason though because its about newness and excitement. I think its more lust than love! They do not necessarily want to leave their spouse or (the person taking care of them) they want their cake and eat it to.
Comment by missthang100 on 25 May 2008:
I think the excuse that it’s biological is just plain ignorant. I, too agree with the previous comment that men and women who cheat just want to have their cake and eat it too. If it’s so biological, then everything we do in life should be biological also. So, the next time I am cranky and pissed off and don’t feel like going into work, I am going to blame it on biology.