Today, while walking on the streets minding by own business – or not – a black woman walked by hand in hand with this white guy. Cute interracial couple I thought – up until my thoughts were rudely interrupted by some hot black guys comment. “This is the height of all mothers of confusion. Have you seen that dark chick with the white dude? She is so black. We blacks are racists … against our own.�
I got to wonder who those accusations were being directed to. Her for dating a white guy? Well I think more towards him for ridiculing a black woman glowing in interracial love.
Interracial dating being confusion? This is a first.
Looking at Whites in interracial relationships, why do you think there are 10 times more White women dating men of other races than White men dating other races of women?
Is it just a coincidence, personality and has nothing to do with color?
Do men of other races see white women as the most beautiful women and therefore have all races chasing after them; or vice versa in the case of White men?
Are White women more open-minded about interracial dating than White men?
A Berlin interracial couple got their interracial twins with different shades of skin color. One of the boys born on July 11 has dark skin and the other has light skin. Coming from two mono-racial parents, German father, Stephan Gerth and Ghanaian mother, Florence Addo-Gerth, this was quite a surprise for everyone even the ward’s head doctor, Birgit Weber. “It is very unusual for twins to be born with different skin color,” Weber said. “It’s the first time for our clinic.”
Welcoming twins into this world is always a momentous event. But this set of black and white twins really caused a sensation last week at the Sana Hospital in Lichtenberg, Germany, with guests trickling to meet the pair. And much as the couple was surprised by the black and white set of twins, Stephan was happy that they were both healthy.
Much as the odds of this happening are one in a million, it has happened before and genetic experts attribute this to the roll of the DNA die which may cause the baby of biracial parents to inherit only the genetic coding for one color. In 2005, British couple both born to mixed-race parents, had twin girls – one is blond and fair-skinned and the other one is dark skinned. And stranger things have happened. In 2006, Kerry Richardson, who is of Nigerian and English descent, and her partner, who is white, gave birth to twins who were both light-skinned at birth. But as they got older, one got darker while the other got lighter.
Florence, the mother said it took a while to process the event. “I imagine sitting at a playground where the other mothers will call me crazy when I tell them the boys are twins,” she said. What mother wouldn’t worry about that? Well, good thing is she has accepted her twins saying, “God has decided that my children should have different skin colors.”
Well, there seems to be a greater force speaking out against racism. And its good that the couple have kids who represent the different races and colors. And to be real brothers, color shouldn’t matter.
Well hopefully, society will accept both children as equals and not subject them to hate as it has happened in some cases. Hope they won’t have to endure what Halle Berry did (”I was black growing up in an all-white neighborhood, so I felt like I just didn’t fit in. Like I wasn’t as good as everybody else, or as smart, or whatever.” - Halle).
But just for the sake of discussion, how will the couple cope with having to explain to one of the twins why he wasn’t invited for certain parties based on skin color or why they have to go to different schools?
Children from interracial families have to deal with identity issues. Some people will see them as biracial hence belonging to no race. Others will treat them based on how they look (depending on the dominant race). We have also heard of cases of biracial offsprings checking off both say “BLACK� and “WHITE� boxes when filling forms where race is asked. They totally refuse to check off “OTHER�.
I have written about this. Well today, I would be happy to hear from those who have had experience with dealing with this kind of thing. Much as they are biracial, they need to be prepared to deal with racism … being rejected by both races they belong to.
There is the gap between biology and the racist legacy of slave/master categorization. How do we bridge this gap? How can you help IR kids cope with this?
We have seen the rise in of interracial relationships over the past twenty-five years but still there are any people who remain harsh critics of mixed unions.
Before - in the middle of the Twentieth Century - parents of Caucasian women seemed to be heavily against the idea of an interracial relationship. Now, with the Twenty-First Century here, it kinda seems as though African-American are against such marital union … with stories of them being against unions between Black men and White Women.
Do African American women really despise African American men who date Caucasian women?
“A black woman wonders: What’s up with the Minnesota dating game?”
This was a headline for an article written 3 years ago. And the woman is still wondering…
This woman is concerned about couples comprising black men and white women being so predominant. Many black men in Minnesota are not dating or marrying black women. And according to her, men of other races don’t seem interested in black women, either.
Here is some census data involving blacks:
Among married black men in Minnesota, 44 percent have wives who are not black; among married black women in the state, 14 percent have husbands who are not black. Nationally, the figures are 7 percent for men and 3 percent for women.
So this lady asks, “what’s up with this? If 44 percent of married black men in Minnesota are going over to the white side, compared with only 14 percent of married black women, what does this mean?”
This lady has nothing against interracial relationships if they are for the right reasons - compatibility, attraction, similar interests. But she wonders why some black men and white women only date outside their race. So she asks again: “What’s that about? Does it mean a kind of self-hatred, a discomfort around people who look like you?”
To her, these census figures raises some questions: Why is the interracial marriage scenario in Minnesota so one-sided?
We always talk about Black women and how they can’t date White men. Well, there are those women that only date White men. I remember a pal of mine telling me once that she will never get married to Black man. And even as kids, when playing make believe, she was always married to a White guy.
The reason for women like her who only date white men may be very similar to the reasons why most Black women only date Black men … attraction. Some also feel that Black men treat them better than any other man ever could, and they feel that they’d rather have what they know instead of experimenting with what they don’t know.
Some Black women are just not physically attracted to Black men. And as much as parents usually like hooking us up with people of our own race, well it reaches a time when you have to be honest with yourself. Imagine my pal for example: As a child, her first crush was Adam Sandler, then as she got older, she fell in love with Mel Gibson. This doesn’t mean that Black men aren’t handsome – they are just not her type.
Some also feel that White men (not ALL but many) find black women to be remarkable in every sense of the word; hence Black women tend to gravitate towards those affections. Much as her husband treats her better than any man ever had, one lady admits that she has been with some White men that disgusted her with their behaviors. But she says that generally, older White men and very mature on a broader level than with Black men on many levels.
Some are just wildly turned on by the differences … skin color, hair, being raised in different cultures, music, foods … the list is endless. Its all about the desire for the mysterious and unknown. And for some, its just pure love because there are those that forget that we are ‘black’ and ‘white’ and just coincidentally happened to fall in love with a White guys.
One thing we all have to remember is that not every White man is a Black woman’s dream. It all depends on the individual … good and bad comes in all colors.
With that said, the generic phrase - ‘It should be about love and not color’ – is cute. But in this case, not entirely truthful. Its not only about love. Much as love gets cultivated eventually, there is physical attraction and a declaration to date only one race. Racist or preference?
“Most of what I read about IR relationships is this kind of phoney P.C. stuff … For once I’d love to hear these IR-loving folks admit … that race does matter.”
The above is one black man’s opinion on interracial dating.
This got me thinking. Does race really matter? Do people tell the truth about their attitude towards interracial dating or is it all some hype?
When asked about opinions on interracial dating, most people say that they are ok with it even when they have never been in interracial relationships. So if they are as ok with it as they want the world to believe, why is it that they have never been in interracial relationships then?
This dude stresses that race really does matter. And people are brought together by race. Even those that date exclusively outside their race do it because race really does matter. Makes no sense to say otherwise. If you think about it, exclusive interracial daters also carry stereotypes … against their OWN race and they use dating interracially as a way to justify their racial obsession.
According to this guy, children of interracial unions do struggle mightily with their identity in a world that demands you choose … a world where race actually does matter. “I don’t care how many folks delude themselves into thinking they can walk the line, or be colorless. They can’t. Either you are white or you are non-white, basically, in a racist society like America.
This guy is so irritated with all this interracial-is-beautiful “crap�. He sites some article for those that doubt him:
“Jodene Morrell, a San Francisco teacher of German and Japanese heritage, stopped dating white men after a bad experience with her high school sweetheart.”
“Now, think about it. Miss Jodene had a bad experience with a WM (high school sweetheart) and now she won’t date any WM? So, she marries a BM? Why? Because he’s not white? (since she doesn’t like WM anymore) What happened to dating a Japanese man? Never heard her mention that. And yet, she believes she’s not hung up on race? Please…â€? he says.
To him Jodene’s story is typical of interracial daters. They live under the pretense that race doesn’t matter to masks their true race obsessions. “I’d bet money Jodene didn’t date Japanese men. Race doesn’t “matter” — not unless it’s
their own�, he argues.
Are all interracial couples living in some phony world when they say race it’s not all about race?
We usually like to convince our selves that racial discrimination does not exist. But if you really want to know the truth about all this, try bringing up the subject of interracial dating – and not on an interracial dating blog platform.
So we say that race relations have come a long way … this may be true. But if you look at the romantic side of things, then I think we are slacking. The other day, I was going through this blog where the author says she will not change her stance on interracial dating. The blog went:
“I’ve never denied not being just a little racist. I’m sure it lies within me somewhere, as I believe it lies within all people … I just believe to deny the fact that there is more than the simple notion that “love is blind� when it comes to relationships makes me cringe. I do believe that Black men who have Black mothers and choose not to love a Black woman and bestow upon their children a Black mother suffer with some sort of self hatred. Racism is still alive.�
It is statements like these make me wonder if we really have changed.
Sometimes our parents claim that they love all races but try bringing a woman or man of another race from college … don’t be shocked at the face of disgust and a feeling of betrayal that they will wear. And of course there are those that truly don’t care about race but there we have grandparents, aunts, uncles, and siblings that do care. And then there is society.
When you ask people whether they are racist, they will always say no. But when you ask them if they can date someone from a different race, that is when you realize that somehow, deep down people still have racial traces embedded in them. Or is it preference?
Our attitude has changed as polls and surveys say. But why is it that the number of actual interracial marriages doesn’t reflect the attitudes we portray in surveys? Why aren’t the numbers as high as we would expect? Has our attitude really changed or is the media and internet just blowing it out of proportion?
– a black woman walked by hand in hand with this white guy. Cute interracial couple I thought – up until my thoughts were rudely interrupted by some hot black guys comment. “This is the height of all mothers of confusion. Have you seen that dark chick with the white dude? She is so black. We blacks are racists … against our own.�
