Interracial Dating Central Blog

Do White women approach Black men better than Black women do? One thing that most people believe is that white women are more aggressive when it comes to letting a man know they’re interested. How is this so?

Apparently, white women have perfected the art of making the first move. Remember Big Mamas and how they taught younger generations of Black women that it’s unladylike to go after a man? Correct me if I am wrong… White women don’t have Big Mamas so they are like baracudas when it some to getting their man. The thing with white women is that when they think they like some guy, no time is wasted. She will be all up in his face, to get his attention.

Well, I find it to be a major turn on when a woman leaves the guesswork out of who likes who. On the other hand when a Black woman likes a dude, she telepathically sends him a message (you know how we men are pathetic with reading-between-the-lines kind of messages… we almost never get them).

Most Black men I have had the chance to talk to say that when they talk to a White woman, in the first five minutes, they can tell that she’s looking for a man and if she’s interested in him. But when a brother talks to a Black woman, in the first five minutes he discovers that she’s looking for a certain kind of man. Get the difference?

I must admit that we all have standards we have to live up to. Much as there are white women that have a rep of scouting out talented black athletes, there are some White women who give a Black man a chance that Black women wouldn’t give a second look. How many times have you seen an interracial couple walking hand in hand and you said. “She can have him”?

Most of my Black female friends don’t like the sight of a good looking brother at a club with a White woman. So why this obsession with the outwards as opposed to the inside? Its important when at a social gathering, to have a good time and take the initiative to meet two new people before they go home. Black guys do it. White girls definitely do it.

Much as Big mama said it aint right, that shouldn’t hold us back from being polite to someone new, even when we’re not interested. You never know, that person could later introduce you to someone who may introduce you to another someone. And just coz you have made the first move doesn’t make you a slut. It shows confidence and how you got your sh** together.

I think one thing we all have to realize is that love is out there. Stop looking for it in the wrong places. Stop looking for the picture perfect dude. White women are not out to swipe the whole entire community of Black men. Maybe they are just looking for love in all the right places. Enough with the judging. Don’t let love pass you right under your nose. Who knows, I could be your Mr. Right.

Tags: online dating, black white dating, multicultural dating

Popularity: 15% [?]

Ever wondered why some white guys, love black women so much?

It seems that being a white male and proclaiming your attraction to black women (not only sexually, but also romantically) may lead to a lot of controversial and dangerous things. Let’s leave the debate of why more black women may be opening themselves up to white guys. The main focus of this debate is why some white guys are opening themselves to black women? Let’s concentrate on that.

Most white males don’t feel like they are running short of white women to marry. White males just marry at high rates. So question is: Why black women? The thing is it will not be fair to bundle up black women as one since everyone is their own person… be it in appearance or personality.

However, one thing that a white male friend of mine said… and I let him get away with bundling it all up is: “We love a black woman’s confidence, her tenacity and her undeniable achievements in the face of great adversity…â€? Since this info was coming from a man, there was definitely the mention of the lips, the curves, and that wonderful skin as well.

So what about stereotypes like “black women are either sexually conservative or total sluts?” Many people give so much lip service to interracial dating. You would think they have never done it. But those uptight individuals are the ones that spread these stereotypes. What happened to the highly educated black woman? How about the caring, decent and involved black woman?

Probably most white guys and others are confused with the stereotypical trash people spread around and if you are one that falls for such lame ol’ lines, then you sure as hell haven’t dated a black woman.

Bottom line, you don’t have to sacrifice who you are for a white guy. They will love you anyway. Just be you and open yourself up… and if you like white guys, some white guy will find you too.

Tags: black-white relationships, interracial dating, black woman white man

Popularity: 100% [?]

If there’s a topic that has stirred so many emotions and discussions, then its interracial dating. This is video talks about the views of a white woman on black men. I found this video quite interesting especially the part about white men being unemotional.

Well, I think we white dudes can be emotional too… we cry too. I think white men are sensitive especially to the needs of a woman. I don’t know about you but I think this video and the views on it are something to stir one heated debate.

Do other white women feel the same about black men? Do women in general feel this way?

Tags: black men, white women, multiethnic dating

Popularity: 14% [?]

I was once in an intercultural relationship. Me and my lady had so much in common. Never did I ever foresee that one day… tone time… culture will be an issue. Well eventually, it was. In an intercultural relationship, we must acknowledge the fact that different assumptions may surface over time.

Opinions and judgments made are usually based on our world views. And this view is mostly shaped by culture. Problems usually surface depending on how engrossed we are in our cultural beliefs and values. Truth be told… who in their right mind would think her/his culture is inferior. Can anyone here admit that their culture is totally screwed up?

All of our life experiences through family and cultural background shape our opinions and teach us how to deal with life’s challenges. Often, this is how we begin to formulate prejudices against other cultures. The ego… “The way we did it in my country was better.â€? Does this statement sound familiar? Well me being THE MAN with THE PAIR of you know what, I eventually screwed up the whole relationship with my cultural ego.

The funny thing about all these cultural differences is that with time, we end up fussing about the tiniest things… the way the house is decorated, unfamiliar types of entertainment, different understandings of extended family relationships, the celebration of unfamiliar holidays, differing views of romanticism… Well you know what you fussed about this morning. Like it or not, we all have and would need to face such assumptions in the event of an intercultural marriage.

Someone once said that “marrying someone from an underdeveloped country and then bringing that person to the States may be shocking! The prosperity of North America can be incomprehensible. Likewise, the lack of what others may view as essentials can be equally shocking.� With our parents - who may have once rejected such a union - keeping a close watch over the relationship, what is one supposed to do? What will your priority be? Love or the way the clothes are being washed?

The lesson I learnt from my previous relationship is - Try knowing each other’s culture! Know what both cultures value. Keep your pair of balls in check. That way you can reach a comprise. Forget about how the clothes were cleaned. Focus on the end result and respect your spouse’s weird holidays.

So what if the assumptions are based on religion? You tell me.

Tags: multicultural dating, ethnicity, interracial dating

Popularity: 4% [?]

Family alienation is one of many challenges facing multicultural couples. Societal discrimination also poses a challenge. Adding on to cultural differences that the couple may experience, such alienations may cause a strain in the couple’s relationship.

Society has a history of frowning upon cross-cultural marriage. Stereotypes further complicate matters. However some multicultural couples actually have stronger relationships as a result of the painful realities as racism and conflict with extended family members they endure. This may make them have an easier time negotiating the day-to-day struggles of their marriage.

Psychologist Maria Root, clinician and researcher at the University of Washington, says that multicultural couples are ‘attracted to each other for the same reasons that individuals in same-race couples are…They consistently state that they get married because they like and love each other.’

On to our poll results, majority (89%) said they were not afraid to date someone from a different race. (No, it’s my life and the hell with anyone that says otherwise!:89% -168 Votes). 21% said ‘Yes I was afraid of what my family and friends would say: 21 votes.

Based on these results, it means that if you really love someone and are dating for the right reasons, then screw society. Together you can overcome all the prejudice and cultural differences. And for those still afraid of dating someone from a different culture afraid what others would say, here is some advice. It’s your world the two of you will be creating and sharing from the union.

‘Differences exist and what needs to be looked at is how couples negotiate them,’ Root said. Those outside of your world don’t really matter. What matters is that the two of you are comfortable with each other.

Tags: ethnicity, multicultural dating, interracial dating

Popularity: 4% [?]

Cultural humor and ethnic jokes are things that people get a kick out of these days. The culture –skewering comedy… we know them. The biggest problem is when to draw the line between funny and offensive. Comedians have developed the art of satirizing stereotypes, the internet has all these jokes.

You know those clever jabs that fly back and forth between couples, usually in front of a crowd… at a dinner party or something? Well am at a dinner party and a beaming couple are telling jokes about each other’s culture. The jokes are flying back and forth… and suddenly the room goes silent coz the woman is now going on and on at the husband’s culture. Well I don’t think the husband took the jokes rather well coz his face suddenly turned red.

Here is couple incredibly affectionate with each other and they just can’t resist sticking it to each other in front of people. These lethal, scathing comments about the other persons culture may seem funny yes… but somewhat offensive. And when I asked the woman what that was all about, she went “Oh please! He knows am just kidding�.

I myself have been guilty of such stinging comments. Well my former girlfriend, a Chinese, later pulled me and told me if I think am outgoing by getting at her, am not. And she never used to mind such jokes at all. In fact she used to joke about her own culture herself.

That was when I realized that the line between being funny and offensive when it comes to someone’s culture is very delicate. When it’s the two of you, its something else but when you are having friends over… save them for later. Its never funny if others are dumping the jokes on you.

Tags: cultural comedy, cross-cultural dating, ethnicity

Popularity: 4% [?]

Promoting multiculturalism doesn’t need to be just about dating… There is Music – Dr. Dre and Eminem, Justin Timberlake and Timbaland… There are movies… name it. We have to look at this from all angles. It may be as simple as going to live with a family from a different culture so you can learn about them and appreciate aspects of their culture… or having lunch at a restaurant that serves different dishes from your own. Baby steps…

I came across this story about a rap duo called DaBoondox - Troy Napier and Jeff Killin. I had never heard about them before but the story impressed me. “You will never hear DaBoondox write songs about cars, gold chains, grills and guns. We want people to relate to more than that. People can hear our songs and say, ‘Yeah, I’ve been there before,’ or ‘Yeah, I’ve been in that situation before.’ Killin said.”Our message could become mainstream. We feel that there [are] more things to talk about than guns and 22s when you have an outlet to a wide audience,” Napier said.

As a black-and-white duo, DaBoondox is unique for its multiculturalism. Well there you have it. How well can we spread multiculturalism? What other ways can we do this? Balls on your court… keep it rollin’

Popularity: 6% [?]

In 1995, a pal of mine was vacationing in Hawaii. She met this African lady… love at first sight they call it. No words exchanged… just smiles across the table. Lucky enough both of them were staying in the same hotel so as fate would have it, they bumped into each other and that is how it all began. Let me press the fast forward button and get to the point

That night the dude called me and asked me to fax him as much info as I could about Kenya (Where the lady was coming from) coz apparently all he knew was the runners. I did. He spent hours on end trying to cram all the info I had faxed overnight. I was really impressed by him… having taken the time of his sleep just to learn and understand as much about where the lady was coming from.

As if that wasn’t enough embracing for a lifetime, they decided to get married after 5 years of dating. The guy agreed to have a traditional wedding for her in Kenya. And he was willing to do it as Kenyans do it. He paid dowry… LOL!!! What crossed my mind when he told me this was – wasn’t the engagement ring rock big enough!!!

These are the little things about the other person’s culture we need accommodate. These are the little things that prove you love someone enough to respect their culture. And even though the groom and his entourage were ignored when they went to pick up the bride on the wedding day (they weren’t even offered a cup of tea and it was freazing cold), it didn’t stop him. He had to say I DO!!!

Tell me… can you handle this?

Popularity: 6% [?]

I put up this video today to prove a point.

Most online daters always say they are looking for someone with a great sense of humor… This you will see in most of the profiles people post. Question is, can you handle it? How much or to what extent should this humor extend? Are there quantifiers for this?

The video above is a real example of what am talking about. The lady might have found that funny. And the dude’s parents saying they have had chemistry with her…? Well that is humor too. One thing we always forget is that our sense of humor may be offensive to others. Some of us may find the above video funny and laugh their lungs out. On the other hand, this being a multicultural blog site, most of us will find the video inappropriate or even offensive.

Humor can be a potent or dismissive personality tool in dating. In a multicultural society, we need to tread carefully. We might meet people and tease them about their cultures. While a person may mean well, initial humor that lack any context, can easily be misinterpreted resulting in a false impression of someone! So while we are busy trying to find a person with a great sense of humor or being humorous ourselves, all we ought to remember is… within the context of a relationship, the most important thing is developing emotional intimacy, and this intimacy is what enables people to share a good laugh together. This is something that builds over time.

Is humor important in a relationship?

How much humor is acceptable?

Feel free to express your ideas and have a humorous weekend

Popularity: 4% [?]

The other day while doing the usual – having a mental block… thinking hard of what to write about, I received an email from a friend with the above video. So I watched it and it hit me as pretty powerful…that’s when it crossed me… What if this test were to be done on white children? Would it have elicited the same kind of results?

Come to think of it, the white doll might always appear beautiful to a lot of kids given the huge marketing campaigns to promote Barbie and other white dolls – the very long hair, flashy clothes and makeup (am sure you all have noticed the red lipstick). Is the mind of a child a clean slate… one that hasn’t yet been corrupted by racial discrimination?

So I wondered… if the test was be done on grown ups what would the results be like? For instance if I direct the question to you now, which doll would you have picked and why?

Popularity: 5% [?]