Black women. Black men. Best frenemies.

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1. 

   Comment by khoibito on 7 May 2009:

   Disagree significantly with mexcubana’s comments dated 5/5/09. The suggestion is that the black community has not matured since slavery, which is asinine in the face of the strong communal and familial binds that got us through the deep South’s Jim Crow era and the struggle to end American apartheid through the 60’s - early 70’s. The black community weakened itself during the late 70’s - 90’s through the stupidity of materialism by black men and women, exacerbated by misogynistic portrayal of black women in gangster rap videos by both black men and black women who agreed to participate in such portrayals. Anyone who believes that we have not matured since the days of slavery is wholly ignorant of a gap in African American history from Reconstruction to the 60’s.
2. 

   Comment by THE TRUTH on 18 May 2009:

   You Black Americans need to stop analyzing yourselves because it’s it’s obvious you’re incapable of doing so correctly.
   It is so f&%kin hilarious to read these comments! Everytime a blackwoman (or black man) writes that she doesn’t see a crisis, it turns out she doesn’t even date black men. Y’all need to STFU if you’ve been away so long and can’t see something that’s so obvious. I’ve NEVER heard a white woman or white man say they don’t like their counterpart; and if you have, be really careful because UNLIKE US, they absolutely LOVE what their children look like, and treat them like gold. THINK ABOUT THAT!
   Everytime you hear a black woman or man say they don’t like dating black people ask them how many white people they’ve heard saying that about themselves!

   African American’s don’t like to admit self-hate because, in the past, that is something that would’ve been psychological devastating in a majority white society. If you from the Islands (caribbean) however, self-hatred & adoration/worship of light skin is common place, but atleast we admit it’s a problem (don’t let any Islander tell you different, they’re hiding a problem we all accept). They bleach thier skin till they look like suffering from AIDS.

   THE REAL PROBLEM
   1. Black men and black women(esp women) stereotype each other. Alot of black men (not as many as black women think) feel they need to approach women like they’re in a rap video. There is reason for this madness though; All Men adjust to what women like. All young women (white, black, etc) are attracted to the bad boy image. It just so happens that black women are starting to graduate from the thug image and are now finding alot of stuff offensive. Alot of black women (alot) pass around stereotypes about black men and expect something offensive or bad intensions when you approach them. So many assume white men are perfect gentlemen (HAHAHAHA). Men are men, black men tend to be bold, white men tend to be sneaky.

   2. We allow everyone else to fuel these stereotypes with polls to tell(remind us) how black men are worthless fathers & are all in jail, black children struggle in school. Everytime someone talks about the black community, INCLUDING OBAMA, all they talk about is how we have problems.

   Black people were MUCH WORSE OFF in the 60’s & 70’s, but there was so MUCH MORE SOLIDARITY and PRIDE within the community. Things are better now, but yet WE FEEL WORSE about each other than ever, WHY?????
3. 

   Comment by Aaziah on 18 May 2009:

   *Something that I found, ENJOY! *Aaziah* (asia)
   The Murder of Black Women… The Apology Have a seat sister…this may take a while. Don’t be afraid. The two pistols you see smoking in my hands are harmless now. Both clips are empty, much like a Larry Elders speech. And even though I was aiming at the System when I first unloaded shots into the air, I see now that I missed the target. The System remains intact while you sit wounded and battle-weary from decades of bullets being lodged deep into your heart and soul. I murdered you many times. Still, you didn’t die: not even once. I apologize for abandoning you and leaving you to fend for yourself in a world as cruel as it is cold. I should have supported you when you offered to be apart of the struggle. But the struggle was an internal one as well as an external one, and I was losing on both fronts. I got mad at you for straightening your hair, for slow dancing in the arms of white men, for challenging my manhood and comparing it to other races. I hated the way the System divided us by promoting you and demoting me, but instead of uniting with you and having your back, I attacked you and left you alone in your grief. I apologize for flaunting white women in your face as soon as I got money or fame. I was suffering from a mental illness that had me believing that my self-worth had to be approved by blue eyes. I know it hurt you to see me betray you so quickly, so easily, and so often. I had you feeling as though you were not worthy to be in my arms when the opposite was true. I was not worthy of yours. I apologize for calling you a “%&@$!” and a “hoe” and treating you like a sexual object in my music, and in the streets, and amongst my homeboys. I felt powerless and frustrated, lost in maze of self-hatred. I raped you, and pimped you, and beat you, and cursed you, and tried to destroy you in the same way I felt destroyed. The pressures of society triggered the implosion that almost destroyed everything inside of me. And you got caught up in the blast because you were always so determined to stand firmly by my side. I murdered you many times. Still, you didn’t die: not even once. I apologize for cheating on you, abusing you, and leaving you as soon as you got pregnant. I pretended like the child wasn’t mine. I even asked you to kill the baby because I knew I wasn’t responsible enough to rear him/her properly. When you refused, I reluctantly tossed you a few dollars each month and felt like that’s all I had to do to be a father. I apologize for turning you into a single mother instead of a happy wife. I apologize for selling drugs and going to prison and using the streets as an excuse for my failure. I didn’t want to be like the honest folks in my hood who worked hard and had nothing to show for it. I wanted more out of life but didn’t have the courage or the insight to follow the path of the brothers who worked hard in school to build stable futures and lives for themselves. I grew up angry at the world and my environment. But instead of using this anger in a constructive manner, I beat down and shot up the first brother who stepped on my shoes in the club. I apologize for dying so young in the streets. I just wanted respect. I just wanted power. And the only people in my hood who possessed these qualities were the gangsters and thugs and dealers. You warned me to be careful. You begged me to slow down. But I didn’t listen. The respect of the street was all I had. It was something I was willing to kill for, to even die for. I was fighting a war against myself, and dying for a cause that didn’t exist. I apologize for breaking your heart and betraying your trust and hurting you so badly that you became almost as racist as the System. You started calling all black men dogs and writing cruel little Waiting to Exhale type books that spent too much time degrading me instead of explaining that good black men are the majority. Your anger and books flew high, like African Jehaka birds, towards the tree branches of my soul. But instead of forgiving me and attempting to rebuild your nest, your anger and books became woodpeckers and pecked away at what was left of me. You screamed out that good black men were hard to find and blamed me for your actions when you held white men in your arms. I tried to tell you that I was the minority, and that good black men were everywhere, but it was easier for you to point fingers at me than it was to give these brothers a chance. I should have treated you like the queen that you are so that other black men wouldn’t be falsely accused of my emotional crimes. I murdered you many times. Still, you didn’t die: not even once. I apologize for encouraging you to be materialistic. I dumped my money into the same System that was destroying me and tried to impress you with expensive cars, platinum jewelry, and Polo gear. I fooled you into thinking that the measure of a man was in his bank account or in the size of the knot in his front pocket. You jumped into the front seat of my Lexus, happy because your friends were now envious of you, as we both sped down a dead end road at one hundred miles per hour. As a result, many black men who didn’t own a Lexus were ignored and even dismissed by you. I had you believing that your love came with a price tag. I apologize for the late night booty calls. You wanted to talk, to cuddle, and to explore the depth of my character. I only wanted sex. I called you when I was horny and only reached out to you when I saw that you were slipping away. I should have talked to you and opened up to you. Instead, I trusted only my homeboys and factored you out of the equation. And I apologize for turning you against your friends and family members. I was jealous of their influence over you. I was afraid that you would listen to them when they told you that I was not good for you. I didn’t have a job, and when I did, I used it as a weapon against you. When wise sisters told you to raise your standards, I persuaded you to lower them. I had you thinking that you had to have a man, any man, to be complete. And I apologize for that. I murdered you many times, sister. Yet, incredibly, amazingly, you didn’t die. Not even once. And this serves as the ultimate testimony to your true greatness!
4. 

   Comment by Aaziah on 18 May 2009:

   Oh, BTW -Comment by Khoibit?! Thank you! I’ve got you’re back! I agree with everything you’ve said, some of which I’ve only heard myself say! I miss the days when we all agreed on who “the man” was. When black men didnt need to be validated by blue eyes. Those are the ones who’d turn on their own kind!
5. 

   Comment by Khoibito on 18 May 2009:

   In response to the 5/18 post from (so-called) Truth

   (1) If you’re tired of reading such posts, then DON’T READ THEM! Simple solution to a simple-minded problem. (2) Everybody analyzes everybody; it’s human nature. Oh, and by the way, it’s also a science called Psychology. (3) And if you think whites treat their children like gold, you need to pay closer attention to the news or just get out of your cave. Some poor whites raise their kids as badly as low income blacks; just as upper income whites raise their kids as well as upper income blacks. By the way, do you even pay attention tothe world around you? (4) Unlike you, I have heard white women say they don’t like white men; and let’s not even talk about the volume of Asian women who prefer white men. So clearly my exposure to different races is broader than your’s. (5) Self-hatred is wholly different from “frustration” with the opposite sex within one’s own race. Many successful black men would prefer a black woman, but cannot find the right black woman, especially after being exposed to white, Asian, Latin women whose perspective on relationship significantly differs for the better. Self-hatred is an outgrowth of someone raised mostly around a different culture, and hates his own kind because they act differently from the culture he/she is accustomed.
6. 

   Comment by malarki5 on 18 May 2009:

   @ Sister Aaziah,

   I wonder what mothers would say to their sons and daughters whom they’ve apparently chosen to have with ‘unsuitable’ mates?

   And what would young Black men say to the sisters who over-look them for thugs i.e. ‘unsuitable’ men and end up with children from multiple fathers?

   What say mothers to these fatherless children, sister friend?

   What does the ‘good’ Black man who ended up with a non-Black woman when a sister gives him hate stares on the street, at the club etc for simply being with her?

   Sisters have had their chances and umpteen choices and they have simply blown them to pieces! Now what do you say to that, sister friend?

   Menelik Charles
   London England
7. 

   Comment by black diamond on 18 May 2009:

   @malarki5
   Black men lick yourself are uselss to the black community.

   And I’m not one of those black women who brushed off the good guys for the thugs.

   Nope. I brushed the good black men away because I don’t WANT a black man.

   There are BETTER options OUTSIDE the black race.

   So stfu.
8. 

   Comment by Aaziah on 18 May 2009:

   @malarki5 How Appropriate! Your making this too easy! Thats just what my response to your comment was going to be… MALARKEY! definition: Exaggerated or foolish talk, usually intended to deceive: “snookered by a lot of malarkey” Well, not I! I have NEVA subscribed to that malarkey! Your just one man! Sorry! I know a slew of ‘em that feel otherwise! Black women are strong enough to even love those who hate on them. Hang in there Marlarki5. One day after self-discovery and then acceptance/love, the site of a black woman won’t remind you of what you didn’t like about yourself. Be Blessed!
9. 

   Comment by malarki5 on 18 May 2009:

   Aaziah said:

   “@malarki5 How Appropriate! Your making this too easy! Thats just what my response to your comment was going to be… MALARKEY!”

   Menelik replies:

   Well, I guess it beats answering any of my questions!

   Menelik Charles
   London England
10. 

    Comment by Aaziah on 18 May 2009:

    BTW I have NEVER given hate stares to a black man with a non-black woman! Please believe me! I am so sincere. As a matter of fact, my black and non-black girlfriends don’t either- at least when they’re with ME! Because I AM HAPPY! I really am, and I wish we could ALL feel the way I feel about myself!

    My self-worth truly is not based on what a black man is doing to or with his non-black woman! I honestly have never felt threatened by visions of a black man with a non-black because I am whole, complete as I am. Now,I have gotten the looks from THEM, because I DIDNT GIVE THE HATE STARE!

    Living in Seattle, at a hot spot one night, I complimented a black man’s white woman on the skirt she was wearing as they entered the room together while passing me… already seated with my martini and cigar. She and then He responded with the most bewildered look on her face, THEY LOOKED AT EACH OTHER AND THEN BACK AT ME, AS IF TO SAY, WHAT’S GOING ON, HERE? ARE WE BEING PUNKED? I continued to smile as they continued walking pass me to another section. (Thats another thing I’ve noticed- women don’t smile much anymore! I’ve noticed many times that I am usually the only woman at the scene, smiling.) hmmmm

    Sincere about my comment to her about her bad-azz skirt, I smiled at her & my brotha & all I got back was a frown! Then I run into her in the ladies room and she asked me my name, where was I from, eager as hell! (btw-I don’t just answer back-to-back questions. If I’m asked one Q, then I will ask two!) I kept very brief,and left the ladies room in a RUSH, Thong-n-check, after she began flirting with ME! :0 And, if that was’t enuff- her man began sending drinks 2 my table! I didn’t know it was him until the 2nd one, then I cut it off! Was’t gettin’ my cookies!

    Just 1-of-many stories 2 share!

    Look,at the risk of sounding un-educated, there AIN’T no shortage of brotha’s! That’s right, I said it! Men (black men too) are like buses, you miss one and then TWO of’em show up!

    That even goes for the brotha’s with the non-blacks. Yall, have to keep the non-black women thinking you hate black women to stay in her good credit, oops, I mean graces! Just like the white man, he had asimular job years ago AND to this day! Make sure his white woman believe he was’t/isn’t attracted to non-white women. That way she wouldn’t suspect a thing! While the white woman told you either you do me or Im gonna say you raped me…
11. 

    Comment by Aaziah on 18 May 2009:

    @ malarki5 I did answer your questions!

    Just not in the way YOU would have liked. Point by point.

    I am not any of what you wrote. I am nothing like the black women you’ve described and your gonna have to take my word for it, just like Im gonna have to believe your a real black man! (no pic) -minus all of the stereotypes that are also placed on you!

    What you asked doesnt apply to me and it doesnt apply to ALL black women, so why should I DIGNIFY your QUESTION BY ANSWERING THEM, point-by-point?! It’s not like it’s gonna change your mind!

    IM SOOOO OK WITH YOU FEELING THE WAY YOU DO ABOUT BLACK WOMEN! It doesn’t change how I or how other black men feel about me or us!

    WE’RE STILL HERE!

    You didnt respond to my points, EITHER, just the malarkey comment!

    I guess that beats showing your face!
12. 

    Comment by malarki5 on 18 May 2009:

    Menelik asked:

    I wonder what mothers would say to their sons and daughters whom they’ve apparently chosen to have with ‘unsuitable’ mates?

    What say mothers to these fatherless children, sister friend?

    And what would young Black men say to the sisters who over-look them for thugs i.e. ‘unsuitable’ men and end up with children from multiple fathers?

    What does the ‘good’ Black man say who ended up with a non-Black woman when a sister gives him hate stares on the street, at the club etc? Now what do you say to that, sister friend?

    Sister Aaziah said:

    (1)BTW I have NEVER given hate stares to a black man with a non-black woman! Please believe me! I am so sincere.

    (2)I am not any of what you wrote. I am nothing like the black women you’ve described and your gonna have to take my word for it…

    (3)What you asked doesnt apply to me and it doesnt apply to ALL black women, so why should I DIGNIFY your QUESTION BY ANSWERING THEM, point-by-point?!

    Menelik replies:

    Wow, you do take matters awfully personally, don’t you? No wonder you get soooo upset! Please, do read what I wrote again and you will understand that they were QUESTIONS NOT STATEMENTS!

    Oh, and I’m not sure you do know how I feel about Black women but your comments are a decent shot at:

    (1) not answering my fairly objective questions, and;

    (2) trying to get me embroiled in a pointless argument.

    I have not attempted to assume the worst motives about your comments, I merely asked a few simple questions which you appear unable to answer.

    You made not a single point as regards my original questions (as we can all see above) you merely insulted me and cast me in the role of ‘frenemy’.

    I guess, however, that answers the question posed by the present topic lol

    Email me@ menelik@btopenworld.com…and I’ll show you who I am
13. 

    Comment by Aaziah on 18 May 2009:

    @TRUTH I’d like to go on record by saying that I’ve neva dated a white man. Don’t know any thing about what a white man smells like when he sweats! Neva needed to! Luv Black men! and they love and respect me, ALSO!

    I neva went thru that thug phase, but I agree with you abt some of the young girls- not all! Im a child from the 60’s So-

    I admired the THUG (AS IT WAS DEFINED IN THE 60′S= ANTI-ESTABLISHMENT) in Malcom X! MLK! & the Black Panther Party! Shooooot, I remember thinking, Patty Hearst- that lucky &%!@#*! Thats how much I love black men!

    **Not black MALES… BLACK MEN!

    I’ve only dated and loved black men. I Lke this site for several obvious reasons. Although I am Black, Sioux and Irish-

    This is THE 1ST TIME IVE EVER DESCRIBED MYSELF AS BI-RACIAL.

    I’m from CLEVELAND!

    ~and I ain’t even mad at Terrance Howard! My brotha from Cleveland and his non-black ex-wife! You know why?

    Cause he’s still a black man! You don’t have to totally assimilate to date, love or marry outside of your race! If someone has too, is it always the so-called-black man? Why do you have to totally assimilate?

    Well, Terrance Howard didn’t- he is still a black man and loves black women inspite of his curret status! And you best believe, his white woman will nott slip and call HIM A nucka! No matter how mad she gets! Charles Barckley is another blackman in this light! However, the jury is still out on Mike! But, I aint mad at cha, Mike!

    LOL
14. 

    Comment by Aaziah on 18 May 2009:

    You omitted the last paragraph, which most educated people say, sums up your entire piece!No prob, here it is…

    “Sisters have had their chances and umpteen choices and they have simply blown them to pieces! Now what do you say to that, sister friend?”

    Yes, you BEGAN asking Q’s & ended with this comment!
    Following ur comment asking me, what do I say to that?!
    So- That’s what I did! I’ve said what I wanted say! And Im notgoing to go over it again with you Malarkey. ok?

    Your final comment gave hue to the entire piece.
    Nothing positive asked! Degrading. And YOU feel I insulted you? So, sensitive, huh?! (dont wory Im not yelling at you! I like large type!)

    YOUR NEED TO KEEP YOUR READER FROM KNOWING HOW YOU REALLY FEEL ABOUT BLACK WOMEN (or what u look like!)…

    “Oh, and I’m not sure you do know how I feel about Black women…”

    …IS EITHER A MERE ADOLESCENT ATTEMPT TO FEEL SUPERIOR or YOUR THE ONE WHO WANTS TO ARGUE!

    So, we’re supposed to guess how you feel about us?!
    We’re supposed to care?

    Your just one man, hunee!

    Your ego is further than you are! I am not upset none-the-least! So, dont play that angry black woman stereotype on me. I’d have to care about you personally to be upset, bro! But, I did the opposite- the last comment you made- I set it aside, casting it off as a-man-in-process, hopefully progress.

    I entered and exited my responses with light-heartedness and humor!

    And, now you want to change lanes?! You want me to know you elsewhere?

    Away from your questions and comments? You wanna hide, huh?!
    LOL

    Let’s stay in THIS LANE! Show ur face, are you married?!

    Unlike what you may think, I dont need to know who you are. Ive shown myself, HERE! Your a man, a good one, right?!

    Not married? Show yourself here!
15. 

    Comment by Aaziah on 18 May 2009:

    More reason’s I didnt answer ur Q’s how you would’ve liked- but commented on ur comment…

    Im not da mother of a son, but Ive got 2 grand sons
    Im not a young blackman & I neva dated thugs
    Im not nor have I eva been a mother to a fatherless child/
    but my adult daughter is a widow w/3 children, all of which who read 3-4 times above they’re perspective grade levels, Daddy & Momma black.

    Also,I dont know ur defintion of a “good” black man. but Ive neva hate-stared black men w non-black women

    Maybe you should ask either your mom
    or your wife/woman’s mom these Q’s.
16. 

    Comment by MmJay on 18 May 2009:

    Mexcubana make that another thousand years instead of 100. I concur with your assessment. It is essentially the dame ideaology that the supposed Hoax I was refering to. No matter what the source the ideas and concepts are the same. This will go on for the next several generations. Wouldn’t you agree Mr Not True?
17. 

    Comment by MmJay on 18 May 2009:

    Mexcubana make that another thousand years instead of 100. I concur with your assessment. It is essentially the dame ideaology that the supposed Hoax I was refering to. No matter what the source the ideas and concepts are the same. This will go on for the next several generations. Would you or wouldn’t you agree Mr Not True?
18. 

    Comment by godiva61 on 18 May 2009:

    To Aaziah,

    Thanks for sharing The Murder of a Black Woman. It was poignant, and well written, it made me think but it also made me sad that this seems to be the summary of feelings in 2009.

    I grew up in the 60’s as well. On the day that Dr. King was murdered I was 7 years old. At first I didn’t know what to think, nor at seven years old can you really appreciate the significance of such a tragedy. I was scared by the rioting, burning and the sadness that surrounded us. The one and only thing that was comforting in addition to my parents and my immediate family, was the manner in which our community held close to each other, and the spirit and determination that was echoed “we will rise above this”. Who would have thought that over 40 yrs later, that there is such a divide, and such animosity towards each other? History has taught us and/or tried to convince us that it was James Earl Ray who pulled the trigger that killed Dr. King and that he acted alone. That in itself is an ongoing debate and I expect it will always be arguments about a conspiracy or no conspiracy on both sides of the fence. I wish that I knew the answer but it really doesn’t matter because the end result will still be the same. There is however, one aspect that is true and that is, even if James Earl Ray was the lone gunmen, there was another element that was behind the scenes, who may not have pulled the trigger, but they have blood on there hands as well, and they just like Ray, some of the blame is at their doorstep as well. With that being said, it is in my opinion that the friction between black men and women dating and marrying non-black should not be entirely on the doorstep of black women. At one time we had relationships together some still do, and also relationships consist of more than one person. If you are willing to take the credit when it’s going good, you have to take your share of the responsibility when it’s not going well….

    I feel that the questions that was asked of you were viable, yet they seem to have had such a negative tone. However I could be wrong. My first and only husband was black, he is now deceased. It was a great relationship in the beginning but as time went by, it began to get ugly. I stayed, perhaps longer than I should have but to me committment is everything. It was ugly, hurtful and quite unecessary but you know the old saying “that which doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger”. He did get the chance to apologize to me before he died, and I’m grateful moreso for him than for me.
    So now when I hear these generalizations and stereotypes towards black women, from black men, it makes me very sad and a little angry. I went above and beyond the duty of being a great wife, not a perfect one and what I got in return from him was unjust and so unecessary. What I have never did in spite of these circumstances was to “Stereotype and bash black men because of his actions”. I never have and never will!!!! I only wish that we could be extended the same courtesy. By no means am I saying black women don’t participate in this behavior because that would be a lie, there are a few who do, and it’s wrong. It’s wrong on both sides of the street!!

    My father, my uncles my brothers have fought the stereotype mentality all of their lives and they have scars and wounds to prove it. I don’t think it’s just or warranted for us to continue to stereotype each other or anyone for that matter. Too many sacrifices, wounds, scars, lynchings and deaths in the past dictates and demands us not to do the very thing that reslulted in such demise and tore so many familys apart.

    One of the questions, about what to say when you get the hate stares, why can’t a man or a woman go straight to the source and ask? That is if you really want to know. Since it was not you that gave him the hate stares, why ask you? Why should this question/ behavior be the burden of all black women?
    Is this behavior only coming from black women? No definitely not…

    The other day I was going in the grocery store with my 85 yr old mother. I was literally behind two ladies, who were white. In front of them was a couple, a black man and a white woman. He held the door open for his wife, he held the door open for the two women in front of me. Did he hold the door for my mother and I? Absolutely not! He actually let the door go as I extended my hand to keep the door from closing in my mother’s face. Is it all black men responsibilty to provide an answer for why he would do such a thing? Absolutely not!! This is not the first time that I witnessed this type of behavior and I’m sure that it won’t be the last, but in spite of this, I HAVE NO RIGHT OR DESIRE TO STEREOTYPE AND BASH ALL BLACK MEN FOR A FEW ACTIONS!!! I have other, many examples of how either myself or other black women have been treated by black men when they are with their non-black mates and I’m sure that they have stories that they could tell as well. The bottom line, it falls on both doorsteps!!! So for every question that was asked of you, the same question could be asked in reverse.

    Thanks for the time that you took to share your words, I appreciate it. It was meant to enlighten and not to anger. I guess if it angers you then maybe you need to look in the mirror and ask yourself, why? Look forward to hearing from you..

    Love to all
19. 

    Comment by Aaziah on 19 May 2009:

    Not angry at all, Godiva61! I have a much wider range of emotions than the stereotypes of black women suggests!

    But anger isnt the only emotion that should propell us to look(in the mirror) at ourselves! Ive known this and have practiced this for auite some time now.

    But thanks for the feedback. I hope my own feedback is also welcomed.

    Another Gem:
    *We measure in order to learn and we use what we know in order to measure.
20. 

    Comment by Aaziah on 19 May 2009:

    Godiva61 You also wrote:

    “One of the questions, about what to say when you get the hate stares, why can’t a man or a woman go straight to the source and ask? That is if you really want to know. Since it was not you that gave him the hate stares, why ask you? Why should this question/ behavior be the burden of all black women?
    Is this behavior only coming from black women? No definitely not!”

    Thank you for saying this in a way that I could not! I sometimes dont realize how tired I am of having to explain ALL black women/people to black men & white women! I also realize that taking on that role has an adverse affect on me. It’s a huge responsibility and often rarely compensated!

    I dont want to come across as angry,but I am fiercly passionate and protective of the group in which I belong!. I am a true humanitarian,by every sense of the word and What keeps me invested is the desire to understand and to possibly be understood.

    Thanks again for your comments!
    I respect and appreciate your experiences and candor.

    Aaziah
    http://www.Twitter.com/Aaziah
21. 

    Comment by godiva61 on 19 May 2009:

    To Aaziah,

    Thanks for the response and yes your feedback is welcomed at any time……. The anger that I was speaking about was in reference to the questions that was asked of you after you posted The Murder of a Black Woman. It seems to me that those questions were asked with a somewhat angry tone, maybe I misread it…. No I never sensed any anger coming from yourself.. How and why should you be expected to answer for someone else’s behavior? It was not you who gave the angry stare.. Can you honestly answer why a black woman or any woman for that matter chooses her mate, be it a so called thug or a CEO? Again the anger that I perceived was not from you but from the reader who responded with the questions.

    I agree that one needs to reevaluate his or herself as often as needed. You can’t grow until you know, knowledge is power, and power is freedom.
    Take care, talk with you soon.

    godiva61
22. 

    Comment by charlotte3 on 19 May 2009:

    I am a African American woman. My mom is Czech/Black she was raised in the 50’s. My dad was African American born in the mid 30’s. My grandmother was Czech. The reason I put this out there was because with all this history,wisdom and pain. My parents managed to raise 8 children with these values;love,respect,kindness. Even though my mom was treated cruel by whites and blacks because of her skin color she still had love for her fellow man. My dad whom served in the Korean War could still recall being taught not to talk back to white men had no hate in his heart. My parents had this one thing;they had a respect for all people. We were taught to respect all.Blacks were not the only race to suffer slavery and mass destruction. We were taught to respect the pains that so many differnt groups suffered,Jews,Indians etc. Learning about differnt groups and cultures is inperative to finding ones self. So with that being said,I can never hate a black man. I do reserve the right to dislike people whom are evil spirted and negative,which resides inside any race. I do not like being but in the box labeled Black Women that are Mad at Black Men for dating White Women. My best friend is hispanic. I have two sister-n-laws that are married to my brothers,one happens to be white and the other is hispanic. I love them for who they are which are women who have made a promise to love,honor my two African American brothers which I love dearly. I raise my three children the same as my parents raised me.(2)I call myself a strong black women for a number of reasons; I’ll try to make this short: Being able to raise kids to become humble,respectable,hardworking people in this day in age has the word STRONG written all over(DO yall have any idea what young people in these days face) OMG check out your schools!!! The ability to rise to the occassion when life doesn’t go as planned,ablity to never give up on a dream or give in to the simple,never being a follower strived to be the leader of me. Ablity to remain positive when negative may had been the easist. I am STRONG and I happen to be a black female. This is short,no really this is half of what makes me Strong. If you get caughtup in the media youd probably think all black men were drug dealing thugs,and all white men were child preditors that swing both ways. You would think that all black women were caring Aids and were loud,opionated,whores,you’d think all white women liked dating black men,were airheads,had breast inplants and were golddiggers. Well if you have this idea about a paticular race then you need take a good look at yourself and find out what and how did you grow to learn to think without stepping outside your box. Seek to understand. Treat others as you would want others to treat you!!!!!
23. 

    Comment by 2Sexy4MyAge on 19 May 2009:

    *****KNOW THE TRUTH AND IT WILL SET YOU FREE****
    ***that means***
    ******KNOW THYSELF******

    OKAY……HERE I GO AGAIN………..SLAVERY IS A PURE “MYTH”…..

    IT DID NOT HAPPEN. I KNOW THAT 99.9999% OF THE PEOPLE ON THIS SITE AND IN THIS COUNTRY BELIEVE IT DID.IT’S A FRAUD AND A “TOTAL MISREPRESENTATION” OF THE FACTS.YOU HAVE TO BEGIN YOUR VERY OWN RESEARCH. I KNOW WHAT YOU WERE TAUGHT,THEY TAUGHT ME THE SAME THING.MY FAMILY TAUGHT ME DIFFERENT (In 1981 we trace back our family a little over 200 years)AND THE BRITISH TAUGHT ME DIFFERENT.The NATIONAL ARCHIVES IN WASHINGTON D.C. BACKS MY FAMILY HISTORY.

    NOW PEOPLE HAVE BEEN SCHOOLED IN THIS NONSENSE AND HAVE BEEN TAUGHT TO USE SLAVERY AS A “CRUTCH TO LIFE” IN THIS COUNTRY.
    one clue: “WHY WOULD SOMEONE WHO DON’T TREAT YOU RIGHT……….TEACH YOU RIGHT.

    Go to the NATIONAL ARCHIVES AND PULL OUT COPIES OF ORIGINAL DOCUMENTS AND GET CERTIFIED COPIES OF THE TRUTH. If you are really interested in the truth,you will have to hurry.These documents are constantly being removed without being returned,by who? The ones who don’t want you to know who you are.

    You know….I was not going any further.But DEEP INSIDE SAID, I’VE GOT TO NOT LET PEOPLE HANG,AT LEASE NOT LONG…..

    ********FIND THE ANSWER****FIND THE TRUTH******

    1)John Hanson… first BLACK PRESIDENT OF THE CONTINENTAL U.S. OF AMERICA, 1782;

    2)JOHN HANSON…..PICTURE IS STILL HANGING IN STATUTORY HALL IN THE WHITE HOUSE.

    3)John Hanson…..Promoted GEORGE WASHINGTON TO GENERAL.

    4)There were NINE PRESIDENTS BEFORE GEORGE WASHINGTON.

    5)FEDERAL LAW…….U.S. IMMIGRATION AND NATIONALITY ACT OF 1862, states”FREE WHITE PEOPLE DOES NOT INCLUDE CAUCASIONS.(Guess who were called white,;)Also check out Blacks Law Dictionary 4th Edition.
    WHY IS IT…..That if BARACK OBAMA was born in South Afica,by same parents, under Botha rule, he would be considered ‘WHITE,’ but born in this country he is considered “BLACK”.Are you beginning to see the fraud.
    Why is it….That the English, Germans, Italians, Irish when they came over as slaves or free they are still called English Americans, Italian Americans, etc.But the so called blacks are given so many names,ex. Black, Negro,Coloured,Afro-American, now African American.Now his-story is now being adjusted according to the lies.I wonder WHAT THEY CALLED JOHN HANSON BACK IN 1782 WHILE HE WAS PRESIDENT.

    PEOPLE……Are known by their NAME and NATIONALITY.Their LANGUAGE from their NATION and their flag from their LAND.There is no place call White land nor black land,nor caucasion land, these are all given slave names.In your black or white status you can never own land.A Deed does not convey land, it states that you are a slave and cannot own land only rent from the masters.LAND PATENT GRANTS AND ALLODIAL TITLES CONVEY LAND.Thats why when the so-called blacks (CHOCTAW TRIBE,Chocolate people,BLACKFOOT,etc)moved of the reservations and into the cities looking for work and and enticed to stayed. They were given many benefit not to go back.Now you (so called blacks)are not sovereign on your own land, now you lose your BIRTHRIGHT.REMEMBER Joseph with his coats of many colours, thats the so-call blacks with their many names.You are what your ancestors were, that can never change.You can only have ONE true nationality, like everyone else.

    6)SLAVE SHIPS….IN 400 years during the so call slave trade, how come there hasn’t been any (NO) SLAVE SHIPS FOUND off the eastern seaboard,only spanish galleons with gold.What happen, there was no storms,no hurricanes only BEAUTIFUL WEATHER for 400 years.

    7)SLAVE SHIPS…..THERE ARE NO SLAVE SHIP(S)or even a piece thereof in any museum in the country. BEAUTIFUL WEATHER.

    8)ALEX HALEY in the 1980s….was sued and paid Harold Courlander $650,000 for plagiarism of his NOVEL “The African” Federal Judge Robert Ward who presided over the case, protected Haley’s reputation by urging Courlander to be quiet of his large settlement.Ward thought that Haley had become “TOO IMPORTANT” to the black people to be torn down in public.
    I think he was protecting and did not want to bring down the whole education Institution and all the other CASH COW institutions that are systematically benefiting from this total social fraud.

    9)AFRICAN….Talk to just about any of the africans from the West Coast of that continent, about the 12 million,50 million or 100 million people that were taken off that continent, according to which book or documentary you read…….and their history does not recall any of it.Even thought they can recall their history going back 4000 yr.

    10)Black History……questionably lasted 400 years,with the total of 12 million slaves and took 4 to 5 months depending on weather{beautiful weather}(as reported by PBS)being bought from Africa to America.In order to solve the issue we need to do math cause only math makes sense.We know that one + one =two.In the majority of the his-story books the date of black slavery started in 1690.So lets start the equation. First we divide 12 million African slaves by 400 years, which comes to a total of 30,000 Africans per year;d divide by 12 months for a total of 2500 Africans per month.How ever, PBS on-line website reports,”each slave ship could hold a maximum of 222.2 Africans, plus a crew of 75 armed europeans on a 7 month journey. I estimate the journey to come out to 88,880 African slaves in a four hundred year period.Clearly this does not add up to 12 million by the 1900’s.Since math is the only thing that makes sense these numbers do not add up to what the european history has presumed, therefor this HISTORY IS INCORRECT.

    ******THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE******

    EVEN THOUGH DEGREES FROM COLLEGES HAVE BEEN SYSTEMATICALLY ENTWINED INTO THE VERY FABRIC OF OUR SOCIETY,THEREFORE NEEDED TO A GREAT DEGREE TO PROGRESS THROUGH PROMOTIONS WITHIN THIS TOTAL INSTITUTION.I AM VERY LEARY OF PEOPLE WHOM HAVE DEGREES ON ANY SUBJECT AND HAS BEEN BREEDTH TO RELAY THE FRAUD AND THE LIES WITH B.S=B*LL SH*T,….M.S.=MORE SH*T,….and PH.D=PILE HIGH AND DEEP.

    AT THE SAME TIME,MOST ALL….. ARE NOT AWARE, THAT’S JUST THE WAY THEIR LIFE IS.

    PEACE BE WITH YOU……ALL …….WAYS

    I LOVE ALL PEOPLE……

    Do your own research……. let your inner self, guide you to that TRUTH
24. 

    Comment by Why should we care? on 19 May 2009:

    I’m wondering sense this is a interracial dating site, why should we care or even concern ourselves with the problems of black on black dating. Most of us are here to escape the problems of it. we are here because we oppted to date outside the race for what ever reasons. Let’s not harp on black men and their issues why should we even care? Its now the problem of someone else. I want to deal and help Black women with their ability to move in a new direction dating Others, where we might find a measure of fairness, and happiness and peace.
25. 

    Comment by Tiiz on 19 May 2009:

    Wow. This conversation has really gone down hill.

    If the question is ARE we divided: Read the above responses…YES.

    If the question is WHY we are divided: It’s complex and there are several reasons.

    1. Every one wants to deny a problem exists. Can’t fix a problem that everyone denies. (AA rule #1) History is irrefutable & #s don’t lie.

    2.He’s blaming her and she’s blaming him. The answer: It’s NOW both!

    3. The Black family is not seen as a goal: Unfortunately, the #s don’t lie. 70% of black fathers are NOT in the home…so of course whatever the offspring are taught…will be skewed. Whose fault is that?

    4. Media continues to raise children w/o role models in their lives. The I want to be a rapper, basketball player, video girl syndrome is the fastest and most glamorous line of

    5. Why are black women at the crux of this issue? They are raising MOST of the Black children and they should do it without bias. Both factions are responsible for being irresponsible for creating life outside of a loving family. It’s not the ONLY way but it’s the proven healthy way.

    6. If we travel forward from slavery (b/c people have a hard time relating) we come to the industrial age when BLACK men left homes — does it affect today’s family…YES.

    7. Are Black women angry at White women? If so, feelings are misplaced b/c they see their ideal situation dwindling in front of them. It is instinctive to preserve ones way of life in all cultures. There are 300 million Americans only 35 million are Black with slave heritage. Split that in 1/2 (for argument’s sake). That’s 17.5 million each. If over 1/2 of those women are single and over 1/2 of the men are w/o other races, jail, gay, etc. etc. What 1 man means to our race and culture is very different than what it means to the 270 million other people. We are becoming extinct…and Black women have recognized this.

    Then it’s a matter of numbers and reality…not b/c Black women hate other people but their instinctive nature to preserve who they are. Do the math.

    Being proBlack does not make me ANTI-any other race. If put in certain circumstances and other races are an option. I would choose love. But…avoiding my own race is not an option (this is what many are guilty of and when we should have a problem - especially your own race).

    Why race…b/c man has always found a way to find groups to which he can relate and protect himself. This is instinctive as well. Humans will be humans.
26. 

    Comment by Hmmm..my two cents! on 20 May 2009:

    I’ve read a few of the postings and although some have validity, I believe it’s just individual issues for what ever reason(s), past and present.

    Yes, there is a difference dating women who are not black. I could probably write a book based upon my own PERSONAL experiences but why? I don’t really care any more. I will date who I want and do so with pride.

    I’m here on the site because I’ve dated “other” women and see the differences. Do I like those differences? Yes! Am I still interested in my black women? Yes! It’s just difficult now because I’ve experienced women who’ve been into me for me and not what I have. All of the non-black women I’ve dated just wanted to be loved and respected/appreciated. Wow! What an interesting concept? It was for me.

    I’m sorry to say, that is, from MY EXPERIENCE, a rarity in the black women I’ve dated or known. So, when I do meet a black woman that I may be interested in, sadly enough, I end up comparing her to “others” I’ve dated and give up before I ever really try because I end up seeing things that I’m NOT going to tolerate. Why do so if you don’t have to?
27. 

    Comment by THE TRUTH on 20 May 2009:

    Everybody just shut up with the politically correct bullsh^t and the love-love bullcr$p.

    FACT is that there is a MASS population of non-whites that say “THIER IDEAL PERSON IS WHITE” and think that there is absolutely nothing wrong with this statement. And then CONTRADICT themseleves in the same breath by saying they’re open to everyone, but they “just happen to love whites”. Like this preference is nothing more than liking the color blue. IDIOTS!!!! We human beings are COMPLETELY discriminatory creatures and even having a favorite color can be traced psychiatrically to a reason/history behind that preference. You might as well be a woman that says she’s not gonna date, talk to, or even use her periferals to look at a man who makes below ‘X’ amount of money. IT IS EXATCLY THE SAME THING.

    I CANNOT stand black women who sound like Paris Hilton or black men that sound like Al Roker and then you find out they’re from Compton. That rings false and NONE of you should defend that!!!!!! If you have to ASSIMILATE to date someone, don’t expect me to respect that your opinion on interracial relationships.

    IF YOU’RE GONNA BASH YOUR OWN DON’T COME ONLINE AND EXPECT PEOPLE TO BELIEVE YOU HAVE GENUINE REASONS FOR DATING OUTSIDE!

    For anyone of you responding please don’t try to convince me of how genuine your cr&p is! I cannot refute it and it’s more like you’re doing that for self justification. Find out about yourself first!

    P.S. Black people are not the only ones with this problem, as a matter of fact Asians (esp women) and Latinos don’t even hesitate to assimilate. We are, BY COMPARISON, very strong about holding onto our culture. It just burns me that white people get to see everyone else fawning over them, it’s shameful!
28. 

    Comment by THE TRUTH on 20 May 2009:

    I have really good white friends, but I absolutely love BLACK PRIDE. And it’s not discrimination, it’s preservation; because with things “better” nowadays it’s not so much cultural exchange as it is assimilation, choosing a side. At this rate I can definetley see us becoming like the American Indians. Not even allowed to teach thier own language on the reservation (shocking I know, Bush overuled the effort to make it mandatory).

    I hear too much cr@p about problems in the black community and black women and men passing sterotypes, about themselves, WTF?!?!
    I absolutely recommend that all the black people stereotyping themseleves take an interest in our legacy, essence, how we’ve improved and what good we have going for ourselves. Go to poetry and jazz clubs, listen to good music from when black men and women used to love each other with soul and passion, get some insight from the greats (Maya Angelou, etc) and you’ll realize that their is something to preserve.

    There is nothing wrong with white culture, but the thing about culture is (esp. with TV dictating how we should think) everyone ends up thinking the same way, and this is why its possible for a whole race of women to think that being a size 0 is most important, bulimic or not.
    Outside perspective is good and diversity is not just about having different shades of skin.

    P.S.
    If I wanted to see different races of people speaking and acting the same way I’d go to England, lol. It’s especially shameful when 1st generation immigrants don’t pass on their culture, sometimes diliberatley. Friend of mine, both parents speak spanish but conciously made an effort not to teach him, because they thought he’d associate himself with latino thugs (WTF?!?, self stereotype), sent him to private school and everything. Shameful!!!
29. 

    Comment by world citizen on 20 May 2009:

    charlotte3 - Your family history sets another excellent example of people who have love and respect for themselves as well as others. Successfully, most of them follow the difficult, winding road thru life, by believing in themselves and their loved ones.
    At this point, I would like to bring up a delicate issue - not in mind to criticize anyone who is TRULY religious. There is so much prejudice when it comes to religion! You expressed your family’s values, without leaning on religion. It may also play a role in your family, but you rely firstly on yourself. This is the key to an open minded view toward all mankind. As for instance, Islam is the largest world religion. How can anyone in his right mind claim THEY are all ‘different and bad’ ? In another blog someone recently claimed: I AM EVEN CHRISTIAN - as he thought he may get more acceptance by the readers. Hitler was Christian, Christians went at each other’s throats in Ireland, many wars were blessed by christians, I myself am a Christian. Does being CHRISTIAN make ‘everyone’ a better human?
    I just brought up this issue, because DECENT HUMAN VALUES exist all over the world, regardless of religion, nationality or COLOR as most of us know. We all have good and evil within us and I believe, there is MORE GOOD, otherwise the world would be even worse. The GOOD IS TRANQUIL, the BAD IS OBNOXIOUS. The media reports more of the latter - we must not allow to be brain washed.

    All of you world wide INTERRACIALLY positively thinking people, be blessed by our STRONG UNITY!
30. 

    Comment by CHARLOTTE3 on 20 May 2009:

    Hello World Citizen, thanks for the nice comment. I had so much that I wanted to say w/o including that yes my parents had faith. They always spoke of the hate commited against Christ and learning that every living race has been a victim at some point; some more extrme then others. As a human being I will always have compassion for all. Like I said before this is something I teach my kids. Growingup in Texas,in a town deeply rooted with a strong African American past. I know a lot about my culture. My great-great-grandmother was the first AA in her county to become a millionare. I come from greatness,so I see myself as greatness. My father attend the viewing of Emmett L. Till. He spoke of what it took to keep the anger that he felt. It took his belief in God. I live to honor my parents because they walked the fire for me,they strived for me and it is only because their faith in Christ that they were decent human beings. I attend many of events with my kids and I see so many kids that do not have that purpose of in their lives. Love starts with ones self,identifying ones self comes first.
31. 

    Comment by malarki5 on 20 May 2009:

    Aaziah posted:

    The Murder of Black Women…The Apology:

    (1) I murdered you many times. Still, you didn’t die: not even once. I apologize for abandoning you and leaving you to fend for yourself in a world as cruel as it is cold. I should have supported you when you offered to be a part of the struggle.

    (2) I hated the way the System divided us by promoting you and demoting me, but instead of uniting with you and having your back, I attacked you and left you alone in your grief. I apologize for flaunting white women in your face as soon as I got money or fame. I was suffering from a mental illness.

    (3) I apologize for calling you a “%&@$!” and a “hoe” and treating you like a sexual object in my music, and in the streets, and amongst my homeboys. I felt powerless and frustrated, lost in maze of self-hatred. I raped you, and pimped you and beat you, and cursed you, and tried to destroy you in the same way I felt destroyed.

    (4) I apologize for cheating on you, abusing you, and leaving you as soon as you got pregnant. I pretended like the child wasn’t mine. I even asked you to kill the baby because I knew I wasn’t responsible enough to rear him/her properly. When you refused, I reluctantly tossed you a few dollars each month and felt like that’s all I had to do to be a father. I apologize for turning you into a single mother instead of a happy wife.

    (5) I should have treated you like the queen that you are so that other black men wouldn’t be falsely accused of my emotional crimes. I murdered you many times. Still, you didn’t die: not even once. I apologize for encouraging you to be materialistic.

    (6) I fooled you into thinking that the measure of a man was in his bank account or in the size of the knot in his front pocket. You jumped into the front seat of my Lexus, happy because your friends were now envious of you, as we both sped down a dead end road at one hundred miles per hour. As a result, many black men who didn’t own a Lexus were ignored and even dismissed by you I had you believing that your love came with a price tag.

    (7) I apologize for the late night booty calls. You wanted to talk, to cuddle, and to explore the depth of my character. I only wanted sex. I called you when I was horny and only reached out to you when I saw that you were slipping away.

    (8) When wise sisters told you to raise your standards, I persuaded you to lower them. I had you thinking that you had to have a man, any man, to be complete. And I apologize for that. I murdered you many times, sister. Yet, incredibly, amazingly, you didn’t die. Not even once. And this serves as the ultimate testimony to your true greatness!

    Menelik responds:

    Notice how “the murder of Black women” is referred to in the PLURAL while the “apology” is delivered by a SINGLE Black man? A single Black man confessing to murdering Black women “many times”, and causing them a bewildering catalogue of individual and collective suffering, as though seeking to cleanse a bestial soul.
    Here’s was I wrote in its entirety:
    (1) I wonder what mothers would say to their sons and daughters whom they’ve apparently chosen to have with ‘unsuitable’ mates?
    (2) And what would young Black men say to the sisters who over-look them for thugs’ i.e. ‘unsuitable’ men and end up with children from multiple fathers?
    (3) What say mothers to these fatherless children, sister friend?
    (5) What does the ‘good’ Black man who ended up with a non-Black woman when a sister gives him hate stares on the street, at the club etc for simply being with her?
    (6) Sisters have had their chances and umpteen choices and they have simply blown them to pieces! Now what do you say to that, sister friend?
    The two questions I didn’t ask you were these: (1) why was the mass suffering of Black women reduced to the rampant activities of a single Black man? (2) Do you know that when I look in the mirror I see a single Black man…myself?
    Now what was so offensive about any of these questions, Aaziah? Moreover, I accused you of committing not a single sin against Black men (plural), and yet your response has been nothing short of disproportionate, confused and disappointing. Not least because you come across as they very thing you claim not to be i.e. an angry Black woman with Zen-like contempt and a monstrous intolerance for anyone who contradicts your point of view.
    Moreover, your deification of Black women (plural) absolves them of any responsibility for their personal or collective condition (please re-read “the murder of Black women”). The opposite of deification is bestialisation and this status is bestowed upon (guess who?) the Black man (singular)…the street loitering, mass murdering, raping, baby-making, absent father. The “apology”, therefore, was nothing short of the Black man’s “confession” of intrinsic savagery and evil.
    For Heaven’s sake, Aaziah, the Black man (singular) is even held responsible for Black women’s (plural) being overly materialistic!
    Something doesn’t add up here!
    Aaziah said:
    You omitted the last paragraph, which most educated people say, sums up your entire piece! No prob, here it is…
    “Sisters have had their chances and umpteen choices and they have simply blown them to pieces! Now what do you say to that, sister friend?”
    Your final comment gave hue to the entire piece. Nothing positive asked! Degrading. And YOU feel I insulted you?
    Menelik responds:
    “Nothing positive”, eh? A single truthful statement consisting of 16-words, you find “degrading”? Are you serious, sister? Were not any of the questions asked relevant to a single segment of the African-American female population? Not one of the five questions? And was it really appropriate you should ‘answer’ them as though I was asking them of you personally when it was clear that I was not?
    I suspect my real offense here was in demoting Black women to the human realm by refusing to play along with the traditional racist notion of Black male evil. Much better Black women be deified like Jesus (to have sins committed against one) than be held PARTLY accountable for the predicament one finds one self in.

    That said, I cannot think of a better platform upon which to perpetuate a ‘blame the Black man’ ideology. On what other basis can Black men and women be seriously be considered “frenemies”?

    Menelik Charles
    London England

    Ps readers can google “Black Men Confronting Lies and Distortions” and read some of my posts during the month of March along with stuff by the blog host, Rocky.
32. 

    Comment by godiva61 on 20 May 2009:

    To Mr. Menelik Charles,

    Greetings to you and yours. I come in peace and playing the “devil’s advocate role”. I hope that what I am about to say to you will be taken in the appropiate content, which is an observation and non judgement towards you. I come in peace………

    I am wondering if the “Murder of a Black Woman, the Apology has angered you in any way? Is it the title or is it the entire content that has offended you? I don’t like to assume, so that’s why I am asking…

    Do you think that it’s a possibilty that this apology was compiled from many women, with different backrounds and experiences, and the author just compiled all answers into one read? Also do you think that some of these statements, could possibly be from both men and women? I don’t know about you but I am curious as to why the author felt compelled to write this. The main reason why I am curious about the author’s motives is because I’m wondering if it was his/her way of starting the process to perhaps healing the wounded, both male and female. I’m hoping that it was not an intentional act to malign, and to anger some black men, besides if one has never acted in this manner, why would he be upset? It is in my opinion that in order to heal, come to an understanding, and most of all, not to continue to indulge in negative behavior, we have to acknowledge the pain of the past and try to move on from that point on.
    Also just because some behaviors we can not relate to on a personal level, that does not mean that others can’t identify and relate. I also think that part of the problem simply may be in the wording. You spoke earlier about “single, versus plural”, so maybe that the wording is, and can often be a minor setback to the reader(s).

    Now on a more personal note, and remember I’m coming to you in peace(smile). I’m wondering, are you a married man? Are you a happily married man? The reason why I’m asking is because it doesn’t appear that you are on this site to look for a possible mate. I could be wrong, and if I am I will accept you correcting me in this matter. I’m just somewhat curious about people who are on a dating site, who seem not to be interested in actually dating. I’m also extremely curious as to why that some people who frequent’s this site and are anti interracial dating, why are they here? By no means am I implying that you fit this criteria, I’m just wondering, and I’m very, very curious as to their alterior motive for frequenting this site…. To me that’s the equivalent to going to the grocery store to get gas for your car. Maybe it’s me…… Some things that you have said in the past about black women has been very negative and somewhat in a hateful tone. You come across very sarcastic at times. Sarcasm is one thing bitterness is a whole new ballgame. Now before you get defensive, I want you to know that your sarcasm and bitterness has left no hardship, anger or resentment on my part. The reason being, that some of the statements that you have made in the past against black women, does not apply to me. That’s not to say that you have never encountered such behavior, it simply means that I can’t identify with your stereotype(s) of black women so such statements are no hardship for me, but at the same time, they are at the least, very unfair. Why do I say that? It seems to me that the catalyst that kept the racial divide alive and well in this country, was the catalyst of STEREOTYPING. Let’s be honest here, both you and I know all to well the ramifications of STEREOTYPING..

    I know you reside in England. Were you born and raised in England, or are you one of the ones who decided to leave America and live abroad? You have often skirted around the sterotype of the black woman who goes for the thug and are materialistic etc, etc, so I’m just wondering where did you live at the time of these encounters? I can see it in America, but not in England, but again if I’m wrong, then by all means , please correct me. America is made up of many people, with many backrounds. You can see this from state to state, city to city, neighborhood to neighborhood. My point is not everyone has the same backround and most people have a tendency to imitate and inspire to be what they see, hear, and reflect on a daily basis. “When you know better, you do better”! Perhaps it’s safe to say that these very women that you have come to despise, and now stereotype all, knew no better because that’s all they knew. That in itself is very sad, but what’s even sadder is that not only did they not have better, or were inspired to be better, they now have a small group of people who focused on their flaws so much that their flaws and behavior has been the driving force to STEREOTYPE and the “official theme” for why black men want and desire only-non black women.

    Last but by no means least. For every question that you asked of Ms. Aaziah, these same questions could be asked of men in reverse. However I firmly believe that I have no right to expect you Mr. Charles to answer on behalf of all men. Since these behaviors are not of your doing, why should I expect you to answer for such behaviors nor should I assume, depending on your answer, or not answering, that you posess the same mentality as others. It’s not fair, just, or productive when this is done, regardless to who is doing it. I understand that the constant hate stares, etc can be annoying but my question to you is this “If you really wanted to know why this particular black woman was giving you and your’s the evil eye, why not go and ask her”? We can not begin to answer as to why people behave in the manner that they do. I know that I don’t have those kind of powers, if I did I wouldn’t waste it on such behaviors. I’d make sure that noone was hungry, or homeless…….

    Would it be fair to ask you the following questions and be expecting some answer? I’m going to ask you anyway, I don’t expect or need an answer, I just would like for you to find it in your heart to just think about these questions. I’m hoping and praying that in the future, you will have no need or desire to keep asking these same types of questions to anyone and that you will be totally happy and satisfied with your own personal choices.

    What should the young black woman, who is a striaght A student, who just won a four year scholarship to Johns Hopkins University, that has braces in her mouth, how should she react to the young black male, who won’t date her because she is not hoochee mama enough and she don’t look , dress, and act like girls in the videos? Better yet, what would you say to him? Would you come to her defense? How many young black men have you mentored and try to show them and guide them in a different way?

    What would you say to the pretty black girl who ask’s the young brother to her prom, and he in retun ask, if she is going to pay for everything?

    What happens to the young woman who wants so deperately to get out of her environment, spends her time working two jobs, going to school, and her boyfriend instead of working with her, wants money to buy Timberlands and live for the moment? Should she keep supporting him or move on or as some men have said “abandon” him?

    You made mention about the women who have unsuitable mates but have more than one child with different men. What would you say to the young man who already has one child but keeps making babies with different women? It takes two.. If she’s not responsible, then why can’t he be?

    What would you say to a man who refer to black women as whores, nappy headed sellouts, white ass kissers, etc, etc etc? As a man would you, should you step up to the plate and say “no man this is not acceptable behavior”. Or do you just look the other way? How many times on this site has that ever happened, and you never said a word? You know who I’m talking about, we all do. I just refuse to contaminate my computer by typing his name, but you know who I’m talking about…. I have never known you to dismiss his behavior, at least not publicly. Do you condone that behavior? Or is it easier for you to look the other way… “When we don’t stand up for something, we will lay down for anything”!!!

    I’ll leave you with the three questions that my father would ask me when I came to him with a problem or needed some guidance..

    1. What role are you playing?

    2. What are you prepared to do?

    3. What behavior are you willing to give up to make it better?

    Thanks for listening
    love
    godiva61
33. 

    Comment by katlu8984 on 20 May 2009:

    In reading the article and your comments, I have once again had to take a very hard look at my personal character. I was raised by my caucasian mother and stepfather (who adopted me and always treated me like his own), my biological father (a black man) has never been in the picture. I was raised in an upper-middle class community where there were very few people of any color. However, the people of this community were kind and generous and my color was seldom an issue. I didn’t gain any real exposure to the black culture until college. For the most part, I was shocked and saddened to see the amount of dischord in the African-American community. In high school, I had a couple boyfriends (always Caucasian) and a multi-racial couple was never an issue. I ended up going to a college where there were decent population of African American students and it wasn’t until I went there that a black student blantently came up to the table I was sitting at with my boyfriend at the time and told me that I needed to date within my own race. The best thing I could think of as a comeback was “which race?” However, this young man’s comments made me spend a number of years thinking if I was really at heart somewhat racist and a bad person because I preferred to date white men. In the years since I have met many black people whom I am friends with and have a deep respect for.
    I think in the end it is taking a good, honest look at ones self and deciding what honestly turns you on and what you are comfortable with. If you are happy, who cares what the race is of the person you are dating?
34. 

    Comment by Maidinheaven on 20 May 2009:

    Black men are not my enemy nor am I their enemy. Slavery is a huge factor in Black relationships and regardless of whether the Willie Lynch Letter is an authentic writing, it has factual, applicable truth in it to this day.

    Fortunately, my father was a strong, Black man, and single father of 5 (3 girls, 2 boys) who took great care of us. We were never raped , beaten or mistreated by him. He had White friends (true friends) who to this day are still involved in our lives after over 35 years. LOVE! HONOR! COMMITTMENT! FRIENDSHIP! These all supersede race. But most people don’t ever truly possess or experience these qualities. SELF-HATRED is a hard burden on one’s spirit and they so easily blame everyone around them for their hatred of others. It’s very hard for some to look and mirror and see the real problem: themselves.

    I meet men in Black and White who have wonderful qualities and character. I can’t stand a sorry man no matter what his race may be. Feminism, drugs, population explosion, economy, and government are just some of the factors that have affected the lives of all peoples on the planet.

    I DON’T CARE WHAT COLOR YOU ARE, IF WE CAN CARE FOR EACH OTHER, TREAT EACH OTHER WITH RESPECT, APPRECIATION AND ENJOY EACH OTHER’S COMPANY, I WILL WELCOME A RELATIONSHIP.
35. 

    Comment by Aaziah on 21 May 2009:

    Godiva61
    I adore you! Thank you so much. You have, yet again- said a mouthful! And, in doing so, relieved me of the desire and especially, the NEED to respond to Sir Charles! I enjoyed ur response ! Very pleasant, informative, balanced, thought provoking and on-point! The post I shared was an apology from one man to black women! I shared it for the purpose you described. A truce!

    Im new to this site Godiva61- and I feel like a baby member with the big sister protector! (I’m the oldest who always wished I had a big bro or sis!)

    Also
    I thoroughly enjoyed and agree with ur comments on religion.

    I’ve neva believed that things are all bad- but People like u restore my faith in mankind!

    Ur sew kewl!
36. 

    Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 21 May 2009:

    I read all the comments here.

    A truce is out of the question. I speak for myself and some black men that agree with me. All the comments indirectly attack black men. It’s always ” Oh Laurelton you and “those black guys” are angry and you don’t want peace.

    Where was the sympathy for black women losing their homes due to foreclosures. Supposedly by the same white folks they trusted. Where was the sympathy when your white colleague kept their jobs and they let “you go”.

    This whole dating thing is just a symptom of self hatred that black women suffer from. When has loving your race become “hating other people”. I don’t hate anybody. I only hate those that bash my race. I don’t care if you watch the nightly news and they show a black face on television doing something negative everyday.

    There is a reason why they don’t show negative things white people do. White people call the networks and say “listen” the media is biased blah blah. Thus you don’t see much negative things white people do.

    Why they never cover my niece graduation from a college? Why they never cover black men “doing the right thing”.

    My attitude is going to be the same. You don’t have to like me. You can dodge E Harmony because “some white men disrespect you”. You won’t confront them. Instead you will say ” Girl go to other sites”.

    Race will always be an issue until you reach your grave. Even if I am not around to say it.

    By the way, I hope they gave you some jello and pudding World Citzen. Nursing homes are rather nice nowadays.

    That’s me, I never sold out. I never said anything to anybody that didn’t have it coming to them.

    Why don’t you beg for peace with white men that openly dislike you. Have websites like Stormfront with thousands of members on it.

    You go bow down to them. Go preach that we all one race to the choir. Nobody really believes that shit. For all that talk, I rarely see white people move to a black neighborhood. Yet they preaching to me on here how “they hold hands with black people”. No, you with a black woman for sexual purposes. You don’t care about her culture or her black male family members. They are too stupid to see that. When has a white man ever asked his black girlfriend about her ancestry. Ask her where her grandparents from and their traditions.

    It’s all racial harmony until you ask them. “Hey would you go to a black neighborhood”. Then you hear excuses and “yea if I really had to”.

    Look for my new post on Mr Laurelton Queens blogspot.

    They don’t want me hear for a reason. Black women need to stand up and realize what is going on. Instead of giving into being lonely and desperate. When it is all said and done when that white man leaves his family won’t remember you. You will just be some “black girl” he was with.

    I am out.
37. 

    Comment by world citizen on 21 May 2009:

    Dearest Katlu8984 and maidinheaven, how CONSTRUCTIVE your comments are!!
    They prove that the environment has a great impact on children. You grew up differently, yet with great values.
    Unfortunately, not every child has this chance, however there are a few, who despite their ‘bad’ backgrounds, have the ability to free themselves from their negative past. ADMIRATION FOR THESE PEOPLE!

    By the way, any anthropologist will agree, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS RACE.

    The Human race has always instinctively been motivated to strengthen its species. And this was done by MIXING. Look at all the successful SMART, HEALTHY, BEAUTIFUL people world wide. All African-American people in the U.S. are mixed! Keep your heads up high and appreciate each other!
38. 

    Comment by godiva61 on 21 May 2009:

    Ms. Aaziah,

    Good to hear from you and by the way I appreciate the compliment. Just speaking from the heart, you know the saying “out of the heart, the mouth speaks”…

    So you are new to the site, “Welcome”. It’s not a bad site, many opinions, and experiences, and that’s a good thing. However, just like everywhere else in life, you have the few undesirables, and the typical ignorance, just ignore them. These types are here solely for some type of validation for their lives and will say any and everything because they are so desperate for attention and in order for them to “feel”, good about themselves, they come here for the sole purpose of putting people down. I call people like that “the walking dead”!!!! How sad and lonely it must be for such people to go through life with no love, no self worth and the realism, that from the very beginning, starting from birth, that nobody and noone valued your existence by showing you unconditional love. Their presence here, no matter how grotesque, can be a constant reminder for you(all) to know “just how blessed you really are”. You know you have a good and meaningful life, when other’s “embrace” you and not “repel” you”!! The majority of the people here are good natured and have redeeming qualities and noble characteristics. Ignore the ONE or TWO idiots.. You’ll see who they are really fast, they are that transparent…….

    You are a very beautiful woman with a beautiful spirit. It is my pleasure as always to apeak with you. My nature is to nurture and to protect. That’s why I intercepted the ball and ran with it. You were the oldest, I am the youngest who was always treated like the oldest.

    Keep smiling and know that ” I am my brother’s keeper”! (In this case my sister’s keeper)

    Love to all men and women, regardless of your skin color, who have the soul, and the heart to “uplift” and not “tear down”……. For those who don’t, you will be our inspiration to work even harder… So roll the dice and take your chances but you will not win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Amen!!!!

    Love
    godiva61
39. 

    Comment by godiva61 on 21 May 2009:

    To Maidinheaven,

    You got it going on!!! Thanks for sharing!!

    Love
    godiva61
40. 

    Comment by malarki5 on 21 May 2009:

    godiva61 asked:

    Do you think that it’s a possibilty that this apology was compiled from MANY WOMEN, with different backrounds and experiences, and the author just compiled all answers into one read?

    Menelik replies:

    Then why not have the ONE Black man apologising to the ONE Black woman? Why is a single Black man apologising for a horrible litany of sins against countless numbers of Black women?

    What does this say about Black men in general? Are we all prone to commit the acts described in the “apology”?

    godiva61 asked:

    You come across very sarcastic at times…The reason being that some of the statements that you have made in the past against black women, does not apply to me.

    Menelik replies:

    “Sarcastic”? You may interpret my tone any how you please. But statements against Black women…when, where? Evidence please.

    Godiva61 asked:

    (1) What should the young black woman, who is a striaght A student… that has braces in her mouth, how should she react to the young black male, who won’t date her because she is not hoochee mama enough and she don’t look , dress, and act like girls in the videos?

    Menelik replies:

    The fact she is a straight A student is not the issue. That the young man does not consider her a suitable date because she wears braces is the issue. She will, like young people in a similar situation, react with grief.

    Godiva61 asked:

    (2) Better yet, what would you say to him? Would you come to her defense? How many young black men have you mentored and try to show them and guide them in a different way?

    Menelik replies:

    The young man made a choice which had nothing to do with race. I would comfort the young lady. She could be my daughter after all.

    godiva61 asked:

    (3) What would you say to the pretty black girl who ask’s the young brother to her prom, and he in return ask, if she is going to pay for everything?

    Menelik replies:

    Go dutch! That said, both sexes usually assume men will “pay for everything”! What do you say to that?

    godiva61 asked:

    (4) What happens to the young woman who…spends her time working two jobs, going to school, and her boyfriend instead of working with her, wants money to buy Timberlands and live for the moment? Should she keep supporting him or move on or as some men have said “abandon” him?

    Menelik replies:

    Leave! But that is often easier said than done.

    godiva61 asked:

    (5) What would you say to the young man who already has one child but keeps making babies with different women? It takes two.. If she’s not responsible, then why can’t he be?

    Menelik replies:

    You don’t say whether he wants more children! If he’s determined not to then he won’t!

    godiva asked:

    (6) What would you say to a man who refers to black women as whores, nappy headed sellouts, white ass kissers, etc? Should you step up to the plate and say “no man this is not acceptable behavior”. Or do you just look the other way?

    Menelik replies:

    I have told the man in question that such language is counter-productive on a number of ocasions.

    godiva61 concludes:

    I’ll leave you with the three questions that my father would ask me when I came to him with a problem or needed some guidance..

    1. What role are you playing?

    2. What are you prepared to do?

    3. What behavior are you willing to give up to make it better?

    Thanks for listening

    love

    godiva61

    Menelik replies:

    Quite aside from the questions above being totally irrelevant to anything I’ve said, some people would consider them extremily patronising when asked of an adult male with two children!

    But hey, I answered pretty much all of your questions and (1) without assuming the worst of you (2) minus the Zen-like contempt and over-the-responses (3) without panicking like hell because someone has the audacity to question your position, and (4) without seeking to over-power you like some malevolent spirit.

    I will depart the stage on the present subject and allow the readers to judge the nature of myself and of those who’ve responded (but not answered) my questions.

    Menelik Charles
    London England
41. 

    Comment by godiva61 on 21 May 2009:

    To Mr. Menelik Charles,

    I have to say that I am very surprised that you answered and even more surprised by your response, but of course I am wrong about the tone that is reflected through your writing. You are right, you have always been one of the few men on here that is open minded, truthful, and not remorsely bitter. I’ll make this “easy” for you, you are right about everything so now you can say yet again, something derogatory, and condescending about black women. You can go to sleep tonight knowing that as always, you are right, and there is no need for improvement or enlightment in your life. Please, by all means, reiterate to the world that you have dealt with ALL Black women in this world and you are an expert on this subject. I’ll take the responsibilty for your anger against all black women. Wrong, there I go again, you’re not angry and bitter to all black women, just the ones that, well you can fill in the blank. I came in peace to you, not in anger and no panic. I’m still panicking, I don’t know why I’m in a panic state of mind maybe it’s because you said so , it must be true. Did I leave anything out so far? Please let me know so that your continued uplifting, and positive dialogue about black women can continue. Whatever you need in order to continue with this mission of yours, please let us know. I am sorry that I forgot my place by trying to have a decent, intelligent and honest conversation with you, I should have known better, please forgive me. I do apologize for that Mr. Charles.

    What does the Apology say about black men in general?
    It reaffirms my position on NOT STEREOTYPING NOR GENERALIZING BLACK MEN. I’m assuming this answer is not adequate enough for you, so I will apologize for sticking to my beliefs, by not generalizing black men or any man for that matter. I thought we were all unique, more importantly how I interpet something, may be totally different than someone else’s interpretation. Again, as I said on yesterday if these behaviors do not describe you in any way shape or form, then why would you take it personally? I would think and hope that your confidence and your self esteem and your identity would not be straddled on the fence of someone else’s words and opinions and it would definitely not leave you with doubts or questions, or second guessing yourslef as a man and what you stood for in this life and especaially with your decisions. I am not that fragile. I guess the only person that could truly answer your question(s) about his motives, and ramifications of his words that were in the apology, would be the man who actually wrote it, so maybe it would be a good idea if you found the author and directed your questions/concerns to him. I know that sounds really plain and logical, but it usually works. When you really want to know something, go staright to the source!!!! Which brings me to my one and only point and that is, how could Ms.Aaziah or any other woman for that matter answer questions about someone elses behavior? That is the only reason why I responded. Why is it that the very behavior that you have denounced, and despise that has been directed to you, you in turn react and act in the exact same manner?

    As far as your comment rgarding the prom, and you want to know what I say to your answer about going dutch..

    The answer that would have been appropiate and showed integrity on the male part would have went something like this ” I would love to escort you to the prom but right now I am not in a financial position to do so”. That doesn’t mean that she wouldn’t have helped, it’s no reflection on his finances, no bashing him, it was simply the rude and crast way that the asnwer was given. It’s not always what you say but how it’s said. Some of us still use and expect certain manners to be portrayed at all times.

    The braces was a minor point wherein I was physically trying to portray her, maybe I didn’t do a thorough enough job for you but it doesn’t change the fact that he did not want to interact with her because not of the braces, but because she didn’t fit his ideal of what a young black woman should look like and yes he’s black. He referred to her as an “oreo” and why, because she is a stright A student, who dresses like her mother, and not some video chic, she likes classical music but in his eyesight she is not black enough. This is the part where you can justify his behavior and turn it into her fault, after all she is black..

    Last but not least I am sorry that my attempt to have a dialogue with you has offended you in anyway, that was not the intent. Contrary to your belief, I am not your enemy, neither are all black women. I have said on numerous occasions that I despise sterotyping regardless to who does it. You can call it generalization if you like but it’s all the same to me. I have no ill will towards you at all. I did not assume the worse in you, actually quite the opposite, that is why I made an attempt to talk to you. If I had already assumed the worse in you, I would never had tried to reach out to you. I am sorry that you misinterpeted that as well. When you assume, you don’t need to ask. Unlike yourself I do not feel that all the readers are sitting back in judgment, everyone is unique and interpet such on many different levels and with very different mindsets but if when someone feels the need to judge me be it favorably or not, I am not that fragile whereis I would fall to pieces and start with the many questions. My soul and my character is in tact. I am sorry too, that three questions that I asked would make you feel that you were being patronized, especially with you having two children. I came from a family and an environment that often posed questions, not to be patronizing and definitely not to always be answered, but it was a way of getting us to think about who we were at the moment, so that we could be better prepared for the future and whatever came our way. I say this with the utmost sincerity, that patronizing you with those questions was not my intent. I don’t know what else to say about that because this is the first time in my life that I heard this type of response to those three questions. Thank you for your time and I give you my word that I wll not intrude or disgrace you by any attempt to have a dialogue with you. I am sorry for the inconvenience that I have caused you..

    love
    godiva61
42. 

    Comment by Maidinheaven on 21 May 2009:

    To World Citizen
    Thank you for your comment.
    I recognize that many others have not had my blessings.

    However,I do very much like the realm of reality and do not delude myself into believing that my situation is the norm. Nor do I delude myself into believing that any Causasian or White person could EVER, TRULY understand the living nightmare or hell that my people have endured unless they put on my skin and walk the walk. So I’m not much for pacifications like “we all bleed the same blood” and we are all mixed” or we are all the same” NO. WE ARE NOT ALL THE SAME. BUT. My God is a God of variety and He loves beautiful things in all colors, which is why He made me Black. We all have talents, abilities, causes, needs, ect. that link us together.
    We are all a part of the “Human Race” but to keep it real, Black people were considered to be LESS THAN ANIMALS BY THE POWER STRUCTURE THEN, AS NOW BY SOME, AND, the Black Race (people that look like me) have caught HIGH, SUNAMI-LIKE HELL FROM WHITES ON THIS PLANET. If you have not walked in my shoes, just please say something such as “I have compassion for your plight or something else nice like you did that may seem compassionate,however,

    BE CLEAR ON THIS: I cannot reduce everything to what Anthropologist say; they should have told that to the power structure, racist government and society that existed then as those that exist now. Don’t get me wrong, I recognize and appreciate the GOOD WHITE PEOPLE who not only acknowledged that slavery was wrong, but who also fought to eradicate it. Not for their own selfis gain (money) but because they were RIGHTEOUS AND KNEW THAT GOD WAS NOT PLEASED ABOUT HOW HIS CREATION WAS BEING TREATED. Black People really need to know the truth about Abraham Lincoln, the Civil War, why it was fought, the Rebel flag etc. but many believe that a book is a useless piece of work.

    I am also blessed to know WHO , WHOSE , WHAT ,AND WHY I AM,and WHERE I CAME FROM. Opposition must come. Whether it comes from the White man, the Black man, the jealous White woman or the jealous Black woman, whoever it comes from, I will deal with it until the day I die. LOVE IS FAR MORE POWERFUL THAN HATE BUT YOU MUST TRULY KNOW WHAT LOVE IS IN ORDER TO FULFILL IT, GIVE IT OR ENDURE IT.

    MY father had love. I watched him and my
    brothers endure endless racism from a society that hated the color of their skin. My father was quite an EXCEPTIONAL MAN during his time though, who was before his time. He was a fighter and I often watched as he stood up toe-to-toe against racism; even if it meant his life. We had more guns than the U.S.ARMY and enough amunition to fight for at least a year. His White friends said, “We’re gonna die with y’all” O.K. and they stood by us, in the picket line, in the fights, and in the hell. LOVE. Now those are friends that stick closer than brothers. That’s why I have an appreciation for a good White man just as much as I do for a good Black man; Love (ACTION) speaks louder than words. My Daddy told us many times that he would die a man and that we would die right along side of him before he would let us live in abject ANYTHING. MY DADDY DID NOT PLAY. I watched as he and his friends, Black and White ran the KKK off of his property and promise to kill every last one that came back.

    SO YES,I AM BLESSED; GOD WAS WITH MY FATHER AND HE DIED AT THE AGE OF 81, NOT AT THE END OF A ROPE BUT AT HOME IN HIS BED WITH ALL HIS CHILDREN WITH HIM. MY FATHER WAS A MAN, AN EXCEPTIONAL MAN.

    WHICH IS WHY I CAN’T STAND A SORRY MAN, NO MATTER THE COLOR, BE HE BLACK OR WHITE.

    Most Black men and Black women who spew hateful things about other Black men and women are only hating who they themselves are. Maybe they had an abusive, sorry father, or a mother who was less than what they wanted her to be, maybe she was on welfare or was fat, or did not have lots of money, whatever it was, GET OVER IT! GET OVER IT! Stop hating everyone else for your own self hatred. Just look in the mirror and ask God or whomever you believe in to help you. Help you stop hating yourself and others. Although, they don’t realize it, much of what they say is a really big indicator of how they feel about themselves. Any wise person who has just half a brain would get as far away as possible from someone like that. They are just a BLACK KKK, FULL OF HATE. AND HATE IS A CANCER AND CANCER KILLS. RUN FROM THEM AS THOUGH THE DEVIL IN HELL HIMSELF WAS CHASING YOU, BECAUSE HE IS; HE WILL INFECT YOU WITH HATE ALSO.

    Because if you hate yourself, there is not a White man or White woman on the planet that is going to make you feel better. When I hear Black men and Black women say stuff like ” I don’t date any Black men because they are(fill in the blank), I know right away that no matter how pretty, rich, sexy , fine, built, smart or savy they think they are, they are truly full of self hate and I pity them. I have more RESPECT for some of the people on crack than I do for the bunch above. Some, so-called “CrackHeads” were staring down double-barrel shotguns against racist sherriffs, the KKK,police officers, and injustice in hiring, courts,etc. during the turbulent 50’s, 60’s, 70,’s, 80’s, etc. just so that you could have the freedom to talk about how much you hate the Black man, the Black woman, Black children, Black anything.

    Why don’t you talk about how you hate injustice, racism, murder, child abuse, poverty, starvation,
    and many other wrongs? Because when you hate yourself, you are insane and don’t have a rational view of life.

    TO THOSE INDIVIUALS:
    You will always be the SELF-LOATHING, PATHETIC HATER, you have been for your entire life. You may even go to your grave full of hate, never knowing love, true love and that is very, very sad. Although you will pacify yourself into believing that you love your White or Black whatever, be careful. And to those of you who allow them to play mind games with you by thinking that you are somehow better, remember that what comes out of a person’s mouth truly reveals the heart. If the heart poison against a whole entire race, what makes anyone think that that person is capable of loving anybody. No forgiveness, no love, no good thing to say about anybody in their entire race—that person has a sick mind and is dangerous and maybe mentally ill.

    Now don’t confuse that with someone who says, I have nothing against Black women but this woman or this man
    that I have now is wonderful but just happens to be White. That’s a healthy assessment.

    To the sane and insane alike, just remember, out of chaos comes order. WE HAVE NOT RACIALLY ARRIVED, BUT WE HAVE RACIALLY GROWN. And! Not because we have OUR
    BEAUTIFUL, HANDSOME, SEXY, INTELLIGENT, WONDERFUL, MAGNIFICENT, FINE, DELECTABLE, (and on, and on and on)
    Black President, people voted for him because they knew we as a country were being flushed down the toilet by the last President, George W. Bush and Company. So, all the sane, rational, intelligent people who wanted to try and survive a little longer voted their good sense. ( I LOVE BARACK) (SMILE)

    ANYWAY, I DIDN’T MEAN FOR THIS TO GET SO LONG BUT, HEY I’M REALLY FEELING YOU, Y’ALL AND THEM.

    THANK YOU GODIVA61

    JUST KNOW THIS: TO THOSE WHO THIS SHOE FITS,
    BE VERY, VERY, VERY GLAD THAT YOU ARE SAFELY WRITING ALL OF THIS NEGATIVE STUFF WHERE YOU CAN HIDE IN YOUR HATRED AND NOT BE DEALT WITH BY ME AND PATHETIC COWARDICE BECAUSE WHEN PEOPLE LIKE YOU COME UP IN MY FACE WITH THIS MESS, I DEAL WITH YOU AND I DEAL WITH YOU SO THAT YOU DON’T COME UP IN MY FACE WITH THIS KIND OF MESS EVER, EVER,EVER AGAIN. YOU CAN LOOK AT ME AND WHOEVER I AM WITH BECAUSE WE WILL LOOK GOOD, BUT DON’T STEP TO US IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM NEGATIVE. DON’T DO IT. BECAUSE YOU WILL BE DEALT WITH AND YOU CAN BELIEVE THAT!!!
43. 

    Comment by Maidinheaven on 21 May 2009:

    (Smile, Big Smile)

    To godiva61

    Thank You!

    My last post got a little long, but I’m really fed up with this issue.

    I know too many fine Black men AND Black women who are far more deserving of accolades, honor, respect, love, appreciation and compassion. Even some of those that are addicted to drugs and alcohol deserve more respect than some people are willing to give theml they don’t know the sacrifices that these people made. Life just got to them and they tried to escape it with chemicals.

    I don’t allow ANYBODY, ANYBODY, to step to me with all that hate about my people or any people for that matter. Now, don’t get me wrong, WE, BLACK PEOPLE, have some serious problems in our comumunities, homes, and lives. AIDS in America is worse than in Africa and this is what we are discussing! My God! That is insane.
    Blaming each other will not resolve them. Accepting responsibility for our plight is on all of us, whether we like it or not.

    Yes, some Black women are sorry and some Black men are sorry, but they are no sorrier than the people that are attracted to them and get involved with them. But NOT ALL BLACK MEN OR WOMEN ARE SORRY. Many women and men have sexual intercourse with with men and women who they know they can’t stand, get a baby and hate the baby, TOO.

    I am sick and tired of seeing us fail our children who are our legacy. I am extremely intolerant of child abuse (and elderly abuse). EXTREMELY.
    We stand on the shoulders of many, many men and women of all races who deserve a much better legacy than perpetual hatred of Black (or White people).

    I don’t care what you drive, what you wear, how many Gucci handbags you may have, or how many homes you may have or how much money you may have, if you have not at least understood how unique, special, talented, creative, regal and beautiful Black people are, you are nothing.

    Many of our youth are graduating from high school and some of these young people have made straigt A’s their enire high school experience, no babies, no jail, no drugs, some have not even had sexual intercourse with anyone. Talk to me about them. Talk to me about a $10,000 scholarship fund for them. Talk to me about helping them or even helping some of those who want it but don’t have enough faith in themselves to attempt. Tutor somebody, cut some senior citizen’s grass or something, do something productive, positive; it could become a pleasure to you. Talk to me about that because this dialogue is nothing but the devil further dividing and conquering my people. AND THAT IS WHY WHEN PEOPLE STEP TO ME WITH THIS KIND OF MESS, I DEAL WITH THEM APPROPRIATELY.

    So, thank you for your comment and to the rest of you people:
    DON’T STEP TO ME WITH THIS MESS! DON’T DO IT!

    Godiva is the best chocolate.

    May God bless you and give the finest White or Black
    man ( or whatever color man you want),who knows God, loves Him, who is extremely capable, lovable, monetarily blessed (man is the head), a good, satisfying lover, and everything else that you want in your man. (This is what I want in my earthly prince or king). He will have to put out and he will want me ONLY!! NOT ME & DEBBIE & 50 OTHER WOMEN.

    BE BLESSED!
44. 

    Comment by Maidinheaven on 21 May 2009:

    Just general and to whomever the shoe fits.

    For those who perceive me as bitchy, bossy, aggressive, mean, or whatever else and didn’t like my post, that is fine, cause I can be all of those things and still supersede you in the love category. I need those qualities to appropriately deal with those who deserve such wrath. BUT, those qualities are only superseded by my love, compassion, dedication, committment, and appreciation for life.

    My comments were not for debate, so if you are negative and one of those people who hate all Black men, or all Black women or all White folks, just hold your roll, and may God help you to try to love yourself. Don’t write back to me because it is a mute point. JUST PLAY WITH YOUR BRAIN AS USUAL.

    BIG, BIG, BIG SMILE!!!
45. 

    Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 22 May 2009:

    I read all the comments on this board.

    My friend London always put things in perspective. I also respect the woman he was responding too. It is funny how people have strong words “for people like me”. Yet , will lash out with violence just to get their point across. I guess you combat hatred with more hatred.

    Making indirect threats as if that will bring them closer to the utopia they are preaching here. I don’t dwell on the past. Of course they were white people who helped us in the Civil Rights movement. Yea the abolitionists helped the slaves too.

    Guess where those white people went after they did that? They went back to their cozy white community and pat themselves on the back and said “we helped some negros today”.

    They are doing the same thing with sellout black women. They want to dictate to me that I must accept you dating a black woman. I don’t have to accept shit. In a free society we tolerate shit. That is about it. The same people calling me beast, clutch their bag when they see a black man “they know nothing about”. Do you think they sit online and say ” he is a good black man” I won’t clutch my bag. I don’t even have to mention the woman in the nursing home. She is the biggest hypocrite. She is old enough to know about discrimination.

    So spare me the lecturing and preaching about “how if black men” like me were gone things would be so right in the world. Basically that is what is being said in my opinion.

    Nobody goes to their grave with hatred. There were kind-hearted black people that went to their grave penniless, broke, praying to a white jesus that never did shit for them.

    See this is the problem with society. They want black people to bow their head and smile all the time. I won’t bow my head like these cowardly sellout black girls in this room. That will pup with white men manipulating them and not returning their phone calls. Yet they have the strength to lash out at me like I caused that to happen.

    There is still some black people ” kneeling down” asking for “healing” while getting railroaded financially. They said in the news that collectively African Americans income has decreased during the recession. I guess white society is going to blame us for that happening. Where your white friends at when you lose your job.

    I have worked in the corporate world for a brief period of time. I use to see the chicken george negros hang out with their white friends. They would go to lunch together. I prefer to go to lunch with black women in the office because they tell you who will get fired. These same chicken george negros are shocked when they are “let go” by their white friends. After all, you went to dinner with them. You talked about how many bitches you were fucking. Now your out on your ass and can’t even support your wife and kids.

    I have been fortunate to keep my fiancee and myself afloat during this crisis. I never had a child out of wedlock. I went to college and never kissed no ass to do it. I am not in a lot of debt. My life is a good.

    They only self loathing people in here is the ones that lie to themselves on the real reasons why they date outside their race. They can’t face themselves in the mirror. So they point the finger at me as the problem.

    Never point the finger at the majority of white men that pick you last. The ones that won’t date you because they consider you fat, dark, not on their socioeconomic level.

    Look for my new post the THE WHITE MAN DEPRESSION.

    London Menelik take it easy man.
46. 

    Comment by godiva61 on 22 May 2009:

    To Maidinheaven,

    Greetings! I don’t know exactly what I said to you in order for you to “thank” me, but whatever it was, you are welcome…. My mission in life is to uplift and make the difference in the lives of others in anyway that I can. My grandmother who lived to be 105 yrs old used to always say “If I can help someone along the way, then my living wil not be in vain”. That was one of her favorite sayings, so I’m just trying to honor her memory by living my life with that motto in the forefront. No big deal………. I firmly believe also that the words that come out of your mouth is as powerful as your actions. Also the “last” thing that you say to a person, maybe the last thing that you ever say at all, so I’m mindful about the words that I speak….
    The tongue can be a very powerful and deadly weapon!!! That is why I am so passionate and against stereotyping and the verbal bashing of others. It’s morrally wrong and it serves no positive results whatsoever. Hopefully one day, we as a people will realize this….

    When I pray, I always ask GOD to guide my footsteps, to remove any and everything in my heart that is not pleasing to HIM, and I always, always ask that HE guide my tongue as well. Most days I do well, but since I’m flawed, some days I fall short…

    In my career I often encounter the destruction of people and often times it’s the death of the person.
    Three weeks ago, the death was of a 16yr old who had committed suicide. I held in my hands a life that had ended at a very young age. I immediately thought about my son at 16, I thought about my life at 16 and for a brief moment I was having a very difficult time keeping my composure. As I prepared her to go to the morgue, I found in her backpack a note which explained why she ended her life. Of course I won’t go into details, but it was basically because of the continuing harsh words that she heard day in and day out, and I guess being in and out of foster care didn’t help matters.
    Words do hurt, and sometimes they even kill! I know without a doubt that she’d still be here if she had words of encouragement versus words of discouragement. I can’t do anything for her, it’s too late but her death as sad as it is, inspires me even moreso, to be kind and be mindful of the words that I put out into the universe.. One day we will all be held accountable for the words that come out of our mouths…. So on that note, I will say to you “have a wonderful day, and go make a difference”

    Love
    godiva 61

    P.S. As we celebrate this Memorial Holiday, please lift up our men and women in prayer who are serving this country and for the one’s who died serving this country. Remember their families as well. There’s a young man in Maryland that will be buried this weekend, he was stationed in Iraq, killed last week….
47. 

    Comment by Maidinheaven on 22 May 2009:

    I said “Thank you” for the positive post and agree with wholeheartedly with your last post. I, too, understand that death and life are in power of the tongue and how it can either heal or destroy. Even Jesus cursed the fig tree for not producing fruit and it withered and died. Some of this Black bashing is like the fig tree and I want it dead. However I may be able to help kill it in my spere of power, I am willing to do so.

    We are all shaped by our experiences in life and I am extremely passionate about life and those things I consider important. My God has blessed me and my family tremendously and I thank Him. A 105 year old grandmother is the ultimate blessing. All of my old soldiers have passed on to the next dimension but I shall never, ever forget what they taught me, love, watch, fight, pray, and get through this life “BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY”.

    So, I was “thanking you” for everything above that you have written, before it was written here, because I could see it in your SPIRIT in the original post, although you did not detail it as it is here.

    I do and shall continue to lift up our men and women who are serving this country; some people just don’t understand the burdens they and their families have.

    God bless, strengthen, and keep you.

    Be Well!
48. 

    Comment by MALARKI5 on 22 May 2009:

    godiva61 said:

    I’ll make this “easy” for you, you are right about everything so now you can say yet again, something derogatory, and condescending about black women. You can go to sleep tonight knowing that as always, you are right, and there is no need for improvement or enlightment in your life.

    Menelik replied:

    What in Heaven’s name are you on about? I answered your questions point-by-point. I have made very little comment here and most of it was muted!

    I keep my opinions to myself which is why I ask questions!

    You talk about condescending. Have you tried re-reading the stuff you and Aazia wrote me? Really, it is sooo heavy, disproportionate and over-bearing as to be almost impossible to respond to!

    Only my training has allowed me to remain calm and focused. Rule 1 ask questions. Rule 2 don’t respond negatively to people with dark clouds hovering of them.

    These rules are not easy to follow when one is being accused of everthing under the sun..including hating Black women!

    Look, I’m a nigger, yea, and I also happen to be extremily clever i.e. MENSA CLEVER!

    My point?

    Every single word I type is carefully vetted. There is no hate. No sarcasm. Maybe a little humour. If something provokes me I do not lash out. I ask questions.

    I may also, on ocasions, say how I feel or think about something or someone. Here’s what I feel/think right now:

    yourself and Aazia have taken every opportunity to mock, patronise, accuse and bully, me and all the while you have virtually accused me of doing all of this to you!

    You can comment on anything and yet abuse me for very, very, very little comment(readers, please read my original post)! I genuinely find both of you grossly offensive and sooo oppressive!

    It matters not one jot who I am; my relationship to young Black males and females (and believe me, it is very freakin’ important!) or what role I’ve played in the uplift of the Black (British)community for most of my life!!!

    All that matters to you is that you have some fresh meat to attack; someone who appears as though he can put up a decent fight! Someone upon whom you can heap your sins, failings and hang ups!

    Once you’ve selected your target there is simply no way out for your chosen ‘victim’.

    It matter not who am!!! All that matters is that I asked SIX questions in response to an “apology” in which a SINGLE Black man “apologised” to countless numbers of Black women for everthing from rape to murder!

    Who on earth was this Black man representative of? I why was he made to apologise to countless Black women? Is he the world’d greatest serial killer and rapist?

    Am I as a Black man truly not permitted to comment or ask questions on something that concerns me, and my alleged behaviour?

    And now you congratulate one another as though defeating an opponent. Well, if you elect me as one than I am!

    But my intuition tells me when something isn’t quite right…and something aint right here! I guess its the same feeling I’d get if I bumped into in a club or at some other social event lol

    You want sarcasm? You can have: YOU’RE A STRONG, BEAUTIFUL, FEMININE (?) AMBITIOUS sisters, yeah? Well, then have the last word, GO ON, HAVE THE LAST WORD!!

    Menelik Charles
    London England
49. 

    Comment by godiva61 on 22 May 2009:

    To Maidinheaven,

    My grandmother was very inspirational to me, and our entire family, I miss her so much!!!! She was the type of person that all enjoyed her company, and valued her wisdom and she was never bitter. Her only regret was that she was unable to receive the proper education for herself, but other than that she had no ill will towards anyone at all and I admired that because she like many others who were treated far worse than you and I, had a legitimate reason to beome bitter but she didn’t. I think if she had the opportunity to be edcucated she would have been able to go places and do great things in a professional way… Nevertheless, she had a natural way to inspire people. Education and intelligence is one thing, but if you are small minded, hateful and arrogant, your education will amount to no more than just a piece of paper with your name stamped on it, acknowleding that you have met a particular criteria. How many people do you know of who are degreed, with a high I.Q, and are still the most unhappy, bitter, insecure, and lonely? There are many, too many….. As always, a pleasure to talk with you……

    Love
    godiva61
50. 

    Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 22 May 2009:

    No we will make this easy for you.

    Stop running to white men to solve all your problems. If you didn’t run to the media with your tail between your legs talking about “there is no good black men” to date. Than maybe white men would believe that you are not picking them as a last resort.

    Your sarcasm towards Menelik is a joke. Just like the rest of these sellout black women on this board. They claim they “know what is wrong with the world”. Yet they can’t manage to keep a solid relationship with a black man. Your so smart why you can’t even do that.

    You can’t eve figure out why black men despise you. Instead you run to white men. Ignore their transgressions that they have heaped upon you. Who do you think started stereotyping people in the first place.

    I can’t recall a black person making up the word Jezebel and “Negress’ for black women. Currently white men say racial things that offend you. You chalk it up to “oh he hasn’t been around black people”. Yea sure he hasn’t that is why he thinks your loud and that you were raised in the “hood”. I understand now.

    That chicken negro does not apologize for me. I ain’t apologizing to none of them. That emasculated black man doing an open apology does not speak for me. Where the apology for black women with kids with different daddies and using the court system to reward themselves financially for their “loose” behavior.

    They need to apologize to us if anything!
51. 

    Comment by MST on 22 May 2009:

    This whole article is sad. I know of no other race that openly puts each other down like this. Asian women flock to white men, but I rarely see them write about it. If you want to date white men, or white women, go ahead. Who cares? But why put your own race down? Not all black men are thugs and not all black women are loud and materialistic (I am on the reserved side, in fact, people ask me why I’m “so quiet”).

    I work in an office with mostly black women. Not a day goes by without me hearing about them complain about their “nappy-ass” hair or talk about “good” hair. One’s hairstyle is a matter of personal choice, but I think that some women would rather walk down the street naked than go out in public with natural hair. I have a coworker who is always bragging about her light-skinned, half Puerto-Rican granddaughter, who has long straight hair, yet she refers to her black grandchildren as “niglets.” This is pathetic and sadly, is still not uncommon.

    I see this self-hatred in my own family. I have a sister who hates black men and once said she wouldn’t let a black man touch her. Yet she married a white bum who disrespects her and cheats on her. My brother only dates white women and actually went to Russia to meet a white woman who he was supposed to marry. He gave her a ring, money, etc., and then she dumped him. The whole thing was ridiculous.

    People, learn to love yourselves. That’s all.
52. 

    Comment by RideThisBlackCowboy on 22 May 2009:

    That lady was wearing cowgirl garb.One question:Where may I find buxom black cowgirls?
53. 

    Comment by RideThisBlackCowboy on 22 May 2009:

    Well,let’s see…I’m NOT disparging ALL black women,but let’s face it,most are fat,fugly and b***hy.And as to MST,lots of groups have no use for folk who resemble them,i.e.,the Asian-
    American and -Canadian inter-marriage rates.
54. 

    Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 22 May 2009:

    In defense of black women

    You said this

    “Well,let’s see…I’m NOT disparging ALL black women,but let’s face it,most are fat,fugly and b***hy.And as to MST,lots of groups have no use for folk who resemble them,i.e.,the Asian-
    American and -Canadian inter-marriage rates.”

    White women on their best day couldn’t look better than an average black woman.

    I am moving to PA, I see fat white girls in the midwest than I do black women. So let’s not talk about white women in comparison to black women.

    Rarely does a white girl turn my head. Unless she is really “flawless”.

    End of story.
55. 

    Comment by MST on 22 May 2009:

    Thanks, Mr. Queens.

    “Black Cowboy”: Have you met “most” black women? So how do you know we all fit your description?

    Also, I work out 3x times a week and am not bitchy at all. I am soft-spoken and have been told I am attractive. Perhaps you find “most” black women unattractive because YOU don’t like what you see in the mirror in the morning! Let’s face it, many of us still think dark skin, wide noses, nappy hair, and full lips are ugly.

    BTW, I live in Philadelphia, which is loaded with fat, unattractive, loud, trashy white women (must be all those cheesesteaks) so what are you talking about?
56. 

    Comment by godiva61 on 22 May 2009:

    To Cowboy,

    I think that your remark was out of line and totally disrespectful, not to mention, just stupid!

    I’m a black woman who is neither fat or ugly. You can say what you want about black women, but for the most part, black women are the most beautiful women in the world. And yes even the dark skinned ones, such as myself. Please shut your mouth because you are very ignorant and it’s because of your ignorance and your self hatred towards your own people that further the cause for blacks, especially the black men who have a hard enough time in this world already to keep having a even harder time trying to make it in this jacked up society!!!!!! You should be ashamed of yourself and you couldn’t be considered as a man, let alone a black man. My daddy was a beautiful, dark skinned black man, and he was the love of my life, so are the other black men in my life and I DON’T WANT YOUR TYPE TO BE REPRESENTING THE BLACK MAN!!! Stop bashing black women and stop trying to pass yourself off as black man. The black men that I know and love are strong, intelligent and would never say anything as ignorant as you just did…It’s men like you who encourage the negative remarks about black men, and I don’t agree with them and I don’t agree with your or your fake ass representation of a black man. When you say fat and ugly does that include your family as well? You are the exact reason why one should never have unprotected sex!!!

    Go away, you are a fake and a fraud!!!!!!!!

    I have heard many things on this site that has offended me. I have heard many things that I don’t agree with but I can honestly say that you have reached a all time low. A real black man doesn’t disgrace women and especially the women that look like him and guess what not only are you not a genuine black man, you are a broke down, recycled version of a man. Go hate yourself on your own time, this is not the place for it!!!!!

    Last but not least, any woman or man who can put down his own people is not a real woman or man at all!!!!
57. 

    Comment by MmJay on 22 May 2009:

    Geeeezz, dos anyone know the difference between your and you’re. You can type can’t..isn’t…they’re but no one seems to know that your and you’re are not the same and they DO NOT SOUND the same. And yes I am probably including you in my rant. It would seem that only the English and not Americans know the difference. Contractions people contractions. We all learned them in elementary school. So as you attack each other and cool each other sellouts please please please use the words correctly because you’re killing me as i try to understand the sentences that don’t mean anything. You’re making me assume what you meant to say. And I don’t agree with the attacks either. It would seem that “frenemies” is a correct assertion based on the latest back and forths.
58. 

    Comment by Maidinheaven on 22 May 2009:

    To Godiva61

    You are so fortunate to have experienced such a wonderful grandmother to live to be 105. She saw a lot of life and imparted much wisdom to you.

    I want you to know that I intentionally set out with a purpose today to bless as many people as I could today. I do that everyday but lately became more self-focused (it was necessary). It has been a busy day and will be a busy evening. Several high school and college graduations will keep me very busy this weekend. I am so happy and proud for these young people and what they have accomplished so I made a pact with them to be available to them, especially those who will be going away to college instead of going locally.

    Again, thank you for just being who you are.

    Also, I called as many of my wonderful, stong, descent, hard-working, grateful-hearted Black men that I could to tell them “I appreciate you for all that you are and all that you have been to me”. GIRL! It made their day!!!
    One good thing that this post has done is made me realize how special these men are. We re-affirmed our committment to our people, families, communities and our children. Many of them will be attending the graduations also, although they do not know the young people who are graduating.

    IT HAS BEEN AN ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL DAY IN EVERY WAY.

    Be Well!
    God bless you
59. 

    Comment by godiva61 on 22 May 2009:

    To Maidinheaven,

    Happy Friday!! I forgot to tell you that I absolutey adore your nickname(maidinheaven) so adorable…. I am happy that you had a great and productive day and any day above ground is a good day!! Doesn’t it do your heart well to make someone smile, or say something to make them feel better? It’s an awesome feeling and it never get’s old!!

    We hear too much of the negative sometimes on this site, but I’m not, nor will I ever be a magnet for negativity but after listening to some of the nonsense, it will, or at least it should, inspire you to be a better person and if nothing else, work even harder to be more positive, and open minded. When I meet people like yourself it makes the negative all worthwhile.

    I had a great day too in spite of the mess I made early this morning(spilled baby oil). Have you ever tried cleaning baby oil off of tile? It wasn’t pretty! I had to laugh, because while I was trying to clean it up, I kept slipping and sliding, the more I slipped, the harder I laughed. I thought about granny when I was sliding on that floor, she would have been laughing just as hard. She would often say “every now and again you should laugh at your own self”, and today I did just that!!!

    I had a great day today in spite of doing the electric slide to the tune of baby oil. Yes I still use baby oil on my skin… I went to the cemetary to visit daddy, my brother and of couple of friends who all served in the Military. Today I wasn’t sobbing like I usually do (I really miss daddy), for some reason today I managed to keep my composure… I just thanked them for all that they gave me and what they gave for their country. I told daddy that I was still a Yankee Fan( he used to be a Mets fan) and then I got the nails and facial thing going, came home made some crabcakes. relaxed and here I am…. Now I’m off to a hot bath, but I’m staying away from the baby oil, once was enough today… Have a great weekend and I’ll talk with you soon. You are a sweetie!!!

    love
    godiva61
60. 

    Comment by Maidinheaven on 23 May 2009:

    It’s great to laugh and to laugh at one’s self means you are well grounded.

    Yea, there is a lot of negativity on this site; I’m really not into all of that but I had to comment on this topic because it is so prevalent that some Black men and Black women are hateful to each other. I cannot stand it.

    Baby oil is great. Have you ever tried Hawaiian Tropics Suntan oil? It has cocoa butter, coconut oil, eucalyptus oil, lanolin, and so many other great things that make your skin cotton soft. I use it on a regular basis and my skin is so soft. I love it!

    You are an exceptional human being with a wonderful insight. Thank you a thousand times for being who you are and letting your light shine so brightly.

    It is great that you take the time to honor them by visiting the cemetary. My uncle, brothers and ex-husband were all military, too. You have much to be proud of.

    Well, I hope you have a great weekend!
61. 

    Comment by Kai on 23 May 2009:

    You people really are freaks. Just plain weirdos. With the exception of one or two bloggers on this site I just happened to come across, I never knew there were so many weirdos in the Black race. Quite frankly its disturbing.

    If this is the intrinsic effect that synthesizing with White America has on Blacks, then all I can say is “May God Help us All”

    One blogger’s entire blog was about punctuation and grammar. Another Blogger calls Black women Butt Ugly, yet Black women or shall I say women of color are some of the most beautiful exotic creatures on the face of the earth, and ageless at that..No Botox, wrinkle removers or breast enhancement needed there.

    Yet once again, another slave mentality poor soul with “Black Self Hatred” attacks his own race calling Black women twits as if his freakin mother, sister, aunts etc. weren’t Black. Lo and behold, a crazed woman blogger decides she is turned on by this idiots Webster Dictionary elementary level vocabulary insults and practically drools at the mouth and asking this idiot out on a date after he insults her own race of people.

    To top it off, another weirdo blogs that slavery didn’t exist. Sheesh!!! Good damn grief, anyone who happened into this website would leave thinking you people are a bunch of psychos in dire need of some serious therapy!!!!!

    Whatever it is, I only hope it doesn’t spread. I am out of this Cuckoo place! Hope to never return here!

    Sheeeeeesh!!!
62. 

    Comment by malarki5 on 23 May 2009:

    @ Sister MST

    “soft-spoken” and probably soft-hearted too! We need more sisters like you supporting Black, and human causes.

    I sense your femininity, sister and believe me, that disposition is a rare enough quality among certain sections of the African-American community to compel some impatient ‘brothers’ to seek it elsewhere!

    I like you, sister friend. I sense we can disagree without you needing swarm all over me with false accusations and assumptions that had no bearing on what one said originally.

    I did note, however, that since BlackCowBoy made his remarks, all sorts are coming out of the woodwork to defend comments AGAINST BLACK WOMEN that were nowhere near as slanderious as those made against Black men in the “APOLOGY”…how very odd!

    Menelik Charles
    London England

    PS I shall be happy to reply to any comments you make but Not to others!
63. 

    Comment by choclatethun on 23 May 2009:

    WOW!!!, I must say that no matter how deep the problem may be, we as black people will always be strong. I truelly learned alot by logging onto this blog today. I have enjoyed Menelik Charles, Ichibod, Kimmic, and Aaziah. Reading all of your comments helped me to understand how much we as a culture really care and love one another. the length of the comments demonstrates how deep the hurt and scar runs within our culture. Speeking freely, there is nothing wrong with dating someone of another culture, we must remember not to forget where you come from. To all I have mentioned, Ichibod I wish I had a friend like you. Kimmic I admire you passion of self,all women, and culture. Menelik, you are the one!. To Aaziah, what a wonderful poem of the stuggle of black women past,present, future.
64. 

    Comment by choclatethun on 23 May 2009:

    WOW!!!, I must say that no matter how deep the problem may be, we as black people will always be strong. I truelly learned alot by logging onto this blog today. I have enjoyed Menelik Charles, Ichibod, Kimmic, and Aaziah. Reading all of your comments helped me to understand how much we as a culture really care and love one another. the length of the comments demonstrates how deep the hurt and scar runs within our culture. Speeking freely, there is nothing wrong with dating someone of another culture, we must remember not to forget where you come from. To all I have mentioned, Ichibod I wish I had a friend like you. Kimmic I admire your passion of self,all women, and culture. Menelik, you are the one!. To Aaziah, what a wonderful poem of the stuggle of black women past,present, future.
65. 

    Comment by Aaziah! on 23 May 2009:

    Re: the apology… It was written by a black MAN! Singular! Remember malarki?! And it was written by a Black man! Not a black woman/women. Mensa?! Wow! Education has nothing to do with CHARACTER!

    “I am my brothers keeper” I guess you think that only refers to man on man. Huh?! So gayish.

    Why is it that a black male who doesn’t take care of his babies, responsibilities & have love for his own race and THEN other cultures still want to call himself a MAN?!

    All women that have babies aren’t mothers & all males are not men!

    Whe a father doesnot raise his daughter ie validate her- she grows up to look for what she didn’t get from other men! The same with boys not raised by their fathers! They look to other men for validation! Depending on the character of the men these children select usually determines what the young men n women becomes! A man. A pimp. A drug dealer a baby daddy etc. A young woman- I’ll let you fill n da blanks! So a fathers absence is a direct result of why this topic is hot. We’re all n pain- some more than others! ;ust own ur own shit n stop dumping on others! I know its safer to look at others rather than self. Makes u feel like- for a moment, u got ur shit 2gether! But at who’s cost? Your’s first and then maybe someone else’s.

    It”s time for some Upstream management on this topic AND in our community!

    I love you Black MAN!
    Everybody else- I feel the same way that you feel about me. But make no mistake-

    I will cut for the cause and then pray for ya!

    Peace n Love
    By any means necessary.

    Aaziah Tasia)
66. 

    Comment by rarefind0805 on 25 May 2009:

    I am the oldest of three. I have two younger brothers. I spend lots of time with handsome, educated black men. But, what I have found is the insecurities on both sides are so large. It is hard to find a middle ground. The Most common middle ground is sex. And that isn’t the best foundation when you have insecurities. My most recent relationship with a very successful black man is that he always felt that I was competing with him. And maybe his success made me want to be better and do better for myself. So, here begins the conflict. Relationships are best when we complement one another. that means at some point one of us is in a submissive position. That position is traditionally hard for the black male and female.
67. 

    Comment by single_in_nj on 25 May 2009:

    Wow! I can’t believe some of the postings here from both my black brothers and sisters. There are a few posiitve postings and then there are the others.

    Date and love who you want.

    Nothing seems to ever change with this topic.
68. 

    Comment by rain on 28 May 2009:

    WOW
69. 

    Comment by Aaziah on 31 May 2009:

    Positive Thoughts Straight from the Heart!

    When you judge another, you do not define that person, you define YOURSELF!!

    We don’t see things as they are , we see things as WE are.

    Remind yourself,”My mistakes don’t define me. Getting over them is far more significant .”

    The mind cannot forgive .Only you can .That is why Jesus said:”Before you enter the temple,forgive.”

    If somebody says something to you that hurts ,instead of going into unconscious reaction such as attack,you let it pass right through you.Offer no resistance, that is forgiveness.

    Other people’s opinions are driven by THEIR needs and emotions- not by magical insights OR VOCABULARY INSULTS about your worth!

    Know that all the strengths, values and insights you need already live in you .You have only to activate them.

    Be a person you would like to listen to: encouraging, tolerant, curious, warm, interesting, positive.It is possible.

    The game of life is the game of boomerangs.Our thoughts, deeds and WORDS return to us sooner or later, with astounding accuracy.

    Live in such a way that those who know you but don’t know God, will come to know God because they know you…

    The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.

    The very cave you are afraid to enter turns out to be the source of what you were looking for .

    Accept what comes to you totally and completely so that you can appreciate it, learn from it, and then let it go.

    Only if you resist what happens are you at the mercy of what happens, and the world will determine your happiness and unhappiness.

    and finally…

    Ephesians 1:4

    I AM CHOSEN. Guilt no longer fits me. I have traded Guilt for Faith! for HE CHOSE US in HIM before the creation of the world to be Holy & Blameless in his Sight and in Love!
70. 

    Comment by godiva61 on 31 May 2009:

    To Aaziah,

    How are you? I hope all is well with you and your’s!
    It is really good to hear from you.. Sent you a e-mail, did you get it?

    I just wanted to thank you for the words of wisdom, empowerment, and always, your words are uplifting. I believe your wisdom exemplifies and compliment’s your beauty. A wise woman builds up, and not tear down!! Here’s to the power of uplifting!!

    I had a conversation on yesterday about one’s “thoughts, deeds, and word’s (especially words) with a youn man who is hurting for many reasons, so it’s ironic that you should speak of this in your writing today. I want so much peace, joy, and happiness for this young man because he is a genuine good hearted person, despite the pain and the anger that he often displays. After 3 hours of talking with him, I gained a better insight as to why he has so much pain and the root of his pain is because of the constant, non-stop, discouraging words that he has heard all of his life. I only wish that other’s could really see the consequences of their “words”. I wish that there was a way that we could physically see the scars of a person who has been verbally abused, then maybe we would begin to understand, or at the very least, be mindful about the words that we speak, before we speak them… Word’s hurt, and they can sometime destroy, amputate, and kill a person’s soul.

    One day when I was younger, jr high, my homework assignment was to do a report on “weapons”. I was sitting in the kitchen with my father and grandmother and I asked Daddy, “what is the most powerful weapon ever”? I assumed he had the answer because, afterall, he was a former Marine, and he would know about weapons. It was not Daddy who answered, but my grandmother. I’ll never forget her answer, she answered “the most powerful weapon is a person’s tongue”! I was eleven years old at the time, and thought to myself “granny has been sipping the sherry again”. It wasn’t until years later, after she had passed away that I fully understood what she was trying to say. On the day that the light bulb came on, it was one of the worse days of my life, and to be honest(which is the only way to be), it wasn’t what was said to me, but what I said to that person, I was at fault and so wrong!!!! When I saw the look on her face, I WANTED TO DIE!! All was not lost because that was the defining moment in my life about how word”s can cut deep into the soul. Believe it or not I apologized and she and I are still friends to this day, 26 yrs later. I am not happy that I made her so sad that day, but I am glad that it happenned because I needed to learn, early on, about the power of my words. Someday’s I do fall short, who doesn’t, but when I do, my spirit let’s me know almost immediately where I went wrong, and reminds me to work a little harder on tommorrow.. My motto for that is “tommorrow will be better, if I just leave yesterday behind”!!

    Thank you Ms. Aaziah. Your words here today has been a “self check” for me about the word’s that I speak… Self check is a good thing…

    Wise men lay up knowledge but the mouth of the foolish is near destruction..

    Wisdom speaks the truth, weakness speaks preversion and lies

    A hypocrite with his mouth destroys his neighbor

    Death and life are in the power of the tongue

    Here’s to life and the uplifting word’s for all mankind

    love
    godiva61
71. 

    Comment by Aaziah! on 2 June 2009:

    NO. I didn’t receive ur emailGodiva61…. Please resend!! Thanks for shaeing your grandmother with us!! Aaziah
72. 

    Comment by Latin Women Dating on 3 June 2009:

    Hi! Nice. Waiting for more:))
73. 

    Comment by The_W on 4 June 2009:

    I believe this thing between black men and women is just an extension the conflict between us as we came out of the state of oppression in this country and became full participants in the American system in all respects: socially, politically, religiously and romantically. It’s absurd to have fought for equality as a people: to be judged on the same footing with other races and then criticize one another for living by the principles we so ardently supported. Let’s be consistent in keeping it real. Learn to love what you like and stop denouncing others for living up to the credo of the late Dr. King who said “judge me not by the color my skin but by the content of my character.” Internalizing this an applying it in all of our personal interactions will do us all just fine. Peace.
74. 

    Comment by Lee4love3 on 5 June 2009:

    It has been a source of conflict for many years now, between Black Male and Black Females. We’re dealing with the success factors and many other things between the two genders.. Who so ever has the better career or job? Many Women now go after the best provider and the better Man. Many times we have to date so many of these Women, just to find the Woman who doesn’t play these types of games. Since games are played often during the dating ritual. Rejections can happen over minor issues are now in season as well. Past histories also come into play, with many women using this as a source of current info.
    Now that many Black Men have “splintered off” to an outside source of the race. Women are so upset since they have no idea why. Many have missed the very points that got us here. Many refuse to look at the very reasons why we are here at this time in history. TEWAY said, our values have changed since 30 or 40 years ago. I am 100% agreement. He also said some of the writing here looks like that of a 2 year old. i will take that comment and 1 up that. Many of the Women have their thought process from a 2 to 20 year old as I have come to realize. Many want to know what you drive, where you live. If you have not obtained the status, maybe you are just not the right guy. On the other side of the gender–some Men are afraid of successful Women with better paychecks. Many shy away from a Woman who can be independent in her life-totally. I have often heard and read letters from Women about their life of independence. I feel proud to hear about this from Women. Some have been known to use their sexual prowess along with the status they have obtained. Somehow this subject matter seems to fit in as well.
    We are often bickering about the smallest things within our lives. Some actually love to hate the very Men they’re with. I was hit twice financially in my life by women who professed to love me. One wanted all of the items within our home since we did not have any children. The Judge gave her close to 60% of the assets. In another marriage, my now ex-wife emptied the bank account. Then had the nerve to call and say, we should remain friends since we’re now divorced. A I could not understand her thinking one bit. All along she claimed to be one of “Gods children”. That is a touchy subject for me as well. I refuse to date any Woman who pushes that out front as a subject when dating. I want her to know I am a faithful man and very much a believer, but no longer will that be 1st on the agenda when I am trying to get to know her.

    I have in the past dated out of my race to find some success. I have dated the Asian, White and mixed races. I am so shocked to say that I was treated very much as I imagined I would in thoughts I had of a Black Woman. I found out many things just weren’t like my father or other mentors ever said.
    Lastly in a few places still within the USA, there are people shocked and amazed about Black Men who date outside of their race today. Many point fingers saying, we go out and hunt for the White Woman to share our beds with. When we are often pushed and sometimes shoved in that direction. Frienemies? I can’t ever argue this point again in my life. I will be 52 in 2 weeks and I’m well aware of what many folks do to us Black Men while we try to find Love. I am not speaking from a point of view of living just in Mississippi. I am speaking from the experience of having lived close to 20 locations around the USA and 4 places in Europe. (I’m a former Soldier) It’s rough out here and I don’t plan on continuing my course of action. If there are Black Woman for me to love, I will make sure of it by not settling for just anyone. If that doesn’t ever materialize so be it. I will not allow anyone to give me a opinion, I will make my own opinion on how my heart should feel. If that means I wake up with a brown, white or mixed raced Woman, I will do my best to be happy. Life is short and we’ve got to live it, the best way we know how.
75. 

    Comment by Aaziah on 6 June 2009:

    @ The_W

    (Re: his comment below) PREACH PREACHA!

    I solute you! I can feel your sincerity and it makes me feel safe to be an emotional, soft and endearing woman around men suchas yourself. Don’t change. Your words inspire my faith in black men that I love AND in the ones that don’t love me! (because Im a woman, a black woman, I am strong enough to love someone who doesn’t have love.)

    Another Gem:

    God doesn’t give you the people you want, He gives you the people you NEED.

    To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you into the person you were meant to be.

    And, another poem to share…

    Title:

    **One Flaw In Women!

    WOMEN HAVE STRENTHGS THAT AMAZE MEN.

    They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
    but they hold happiness, love and joy.

    They smile when they want to scream.
    They sing when they want to cry.

    They cry when they are happy
    and laugh when they are nervous.

    They fight for what they believe in.
    They stand up to injustice.

    They don’t take “no” for an answer
    when they believe there is a better solution.

    They go without so their family can have.
    They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.

    They love unconditionally.

    They cry when their children excel
    and cheer when their friends get awards.

    They are happy when they hear about
    a birth or a wedding.

    Their hearts break when a friend dies.

    They grieve at the loss of a family member,
    yet they are strong when they
    think there is no strength left.

    They know that a hug and a kiss
    can heal a broken heart.

    Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.

    They’ll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
    to show how much they care about you.

    The heart of a woman is what
    makes the world keep turning.

    They bring joy, hope and love.
    They have compassion and ideas.

    They give moral support to their
    family and friends.

    Women have vital things to say
    and everything to give.

    HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
    IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

    …so it’s nice to be in love with a man who REMINDS us of our worth, yes?! (Even nicer if he looks like us! If not, definately a runner up to the 1st choice- in my opinion.) *Aaziah (asia)

    The _W’s comment..

    “I believe this thing between black men and women is just an extension the conflict between us as we came out of the state of oppression in this country and became full participants in the American system in all respects: socially, politically, religiously and romantically. It’s absurd to have fought for equality as a people: to be judged on the same footing with other races and then criticize one another for living by the principles we so ardently supported. Let’s be consistent in keeping it real. Learn to love what you like and stop denouncing others for living up to the credo of the late Dr. King who said “judge me not by the color my skin but by the content of my character.” Internalizing this an applying it in all of our personal interactions will do us all just fine. Peace.”
76. 

    Comment by getitite on 11 June 2009:

    Learn to shut out the noise. If you go somewhere with a woman of a different race than yours, ignore the noise if some folks don’t like it. Deal with it by putting on a happy face and having a good time anyway. Don’t dwell on the negativity of some people. And by no means never ever let them see you sweat. Believe me, your date will go much better if you stick with your original game plan and don’t alter it because of the noise. You might even get some good laughs out of it.
77. 

    Comment by Ichibod on 13 June 2009:

    Thanks, choclatethun.

    Greetings Menelik and Mr Queens. Always great to see you guys. Menelik, I’ve never seen you write so much or actually engaged anyone in a debate. I’ve haven’t been on here in a while, but I wish I had earlier. Ofcourse, I would have only let Aaziah and godiva61 have it for sharing that stupid poem and the defense of that stupid poem respectively. I just don’t see why people won’t understand, you can’t expect any one person to apologize for the actions of a group or a group to apologize for the actions to a single person unless there is sufficient evidence linking that one person’s words or actions to the offense of a group or linking that group’s words or actions to the offense of a one single person. Everything that ‘alleged’ black man in the poem apologized for has nothing to do with me (even blaming himself for her materialistic ways, you’ve got to be kidding me). Her friends being jealous of her ain’t his problem, it’s their’s, but the point of the poem is to portay the guilt of a black man, NEVA the lack of responsibility and self respect a black women (it’s NEVER, not NEVA). I like your response in regard to the straight ‘A’ student with braces. I had to stop before reading your response so I could answer that rediculous question myself. You can almost always tell what kind of guys or young boys prefer ghetto, trash, hoochee video girls. If a daughter of mine longed for their attention, then I F@#Ked up somewhere bigtime! Also, if I had a son, he wouldn’t be viewing that garbage anyway without hearing my strong, frequently insulting, self esteem diminishing opinion about that crap or the people involved as well as what he should be looking for in a girl. What a girl who should’ve gotten braces looks like after it’s too late. How I had money for me and my date at the prom. You see, my profile says ‘All Ethnicites’ which is why I am quick and will fight tirelessly against ANYBODY who would actually say derogatory or make blanket statements about their own race in favor of another as far as relationships.

    One last thing… big ups to MmJay and 2Sexy4MyAge. I liked what you had to say khoibito, but I also liked Mexcubana’s post. She never said we hadn’t matured since slavery, a lot of us are still holding on to negativity from the past completely unaware of its origin and intention. That’s what is meant by mental slavery.

    Lastly for Not True:

    “Oh, and Ichibod, that quote is ages old and most definitely did NOT originate in the brain of Jay-Z. Some of you men trying to show off are not as bright as you think you are.”

    I know he didn’t make that up, I was just quoting his exact lyrics from the song as a response to a previous post, jacka$$. “Some of you men…?” You sound like Aaziah in drag.

    Later!
78. 

    Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 13 June 2009:

    What’s happening Ichibod

    I read what Lee from Mississippi wrote about losing his money through divorce. Unfortunately, black women are using the courts like a belt on your ass. I watched a black “Brit” on youtube talking about banning child support. He made some interesting points about the “Govt essentially rewarding women for irresponsible behavior.

    If they have fucked more than one man, and you end being the father “by being the last one in the pussy”. Why must you “bail her ass out” with child support. They want you to believe that women are “incapable” of getting a man to use a condom.

    I have slept with my share of black women. Once you are in the relationship for a long period of time. Either she is going to say ” she don’t want kids” and take birth control. OR she will do everything she can to get “knocked up”. It is either one extreme or the other.

    Yea Ich it was a stupid poem apologizing something I never personally did to all black women. Their bad decisions in life put them in that “hole”. They never cared when certain black men were getting their education or “trade”. They would rather “compete” for a couple guys that “all black women want”. It does not make any mathematical sense.

    Then they get past age 25, slowly becoming “washed up” struggling, usually as single mothers. They approach you, all “desperate”, hinting to let you in move in so you can “help them out”. Black women must raise their standards for men. Yet, if a successful black men makes it. He can’t raise his standards. He can’t say “well you got to many kids” I can’t fuck with you.

    Now they are looking for a “White Man bailout”. The white man’s standards are HIGHER than black men. I don’t know how they think that is even “HURTING” black men in any way. Getting a “Woody Allen” white men is a joke. You walk with the “homely” white guy like you not with him. Man stop lying to the public on this blog!

    As for black men dating outside their race. They lie about black men getting fat sloppy Asian, White and Spanish women. That’s just hate, most of them “have the whole package”. Plus you don’t even to deal with the nagging, attitude problems and materialistic ways of some black women.

    Look for my new post on my blog MrLaureltonqueens.blogspot.com

    New Jack “Blog” City The Carter Part 1

    I am also dropping that “Million Dollar Sellout Baby”

    Sellout black girl “Coke Wave Season”.

    These sellout black girls need to thank us for getting them hot!

    Rappers and artists made black women “go mainstream” with their exotic look.

    Yet they bite the hand that feeds them. Now it’s we degrade them in rap videos. What the fuck?

    We made you a billion dollar industry!!!!!!!!!
79. 

    Comment by Aaziah on 15 June 2009:

    Ichibold You don’t have the power to let me have it.

    You’d have to OWN it first! Like another writer had to mention, I can share whateva it is that I like, within reason, just as you. So, don’t ponder too much over the power that you do not have. Instead, do some real man S*&*#@ called research, and take it up with the author himself! Not to bother…

    - I did it for you while you were entertaining the thought of a male version of me. WoW! Whateva turns you on, boo! lol

    The authors’ name is Marlon LeTerrance, you can talk to him about it himself. His email address is his entire name at aol dot com. Man-to-Man. You up for that?! Email him…

    oh, and by the way. I found out that his original poem is plural. “… An apology from black men.” However, it is possible for one man to apologize for a group. We are all connected. Have a gorgeous week and welcome back!
80. 

    Comment by Ichibod on 15 June 2009:

    Aaziah,

    Your insults are tired and boring. It’s like a middle schooler adding “That’s what she said” at the end of every sentence he hears for a cheap lol. Instead, use some real ‘human being with at least two brain cells’ S*&*#@ called common sense. You co-signed this Marlon LeTerrance turd by sharing that glob of spit called a poem with us readers. I have every intention of talking to this jerk. Bullet-to-Brain Tissue. I guarantee you he may not be guilty of most of those transgressions. Classic fiction writer. His original poem was plural? Even worse! No matter how bad you may have ever wanted someone else to apologize for your mistakes in life, everyone is responsible and must repent for their own actions. Just ask Jesus… for some serious help, Sugar!

    Have a pleasant evening and an easy bowel movement the next time you have one. Just keep it off this site.
81. 

    Comment by aazIah on 15 June 2009:

    Wow! Ur insults have a common theme somebody musta let u have it.! “Aaziah in drag and Bowel movements”mmmmmmm! lol telling on urself boo! Ur funny. If you want to assume that all black women have made. Mistskes, as if you know me- don’t leave out the mistake ur mom made! Is she also included? Cuz ur bitter, man! Good nite!
82. 

    Comment by aaziah on 15 June 2009:

    Boring? That’s not what Im told! Entertaining and non-flinching is a very brief description of my insults,never boring or whateva else u murmured!

    I did notice a common theme with ur insults to me. “….Aaziah in drag” and now “…bowel movements” Just a bit preoccupied with men and assholes- wouldn’t you say?! But, that’s ur business. Sounds like somebody let you have it! Ur so bitter man, relax, lighten up! Take in a movie and a hot cocoa wit cha boyz! (I was gonna say take in something else but Im tryin to be nice!). I’ve got material that you’ve given me but Imma chill.BUT- I’ll be here all week! LoL
83. 

    Comment by Ichibod on 16 June 2009:

    Stop trying to be funny. You’re no good at it. And what’s with all the gay jokes? The drag thing was for someone else who thought they could insult my intelligence. I’m not the first you tried that with on this blog. Grow up! Learn how to spell! Your comments have nothing to do with the opinions and view points presented by your detractors. I see a lot of people who like things thing that I feel are stupid. If you like that cheesy poem, so be it. If you verbally attack someone in this blogosphere, male or female, who merely asks questions to get you to perhaps see a situation from another perspective (someone I respect for that matter), I just might flip. You stepped into a conversation that didn’t involve you. Your name was mentioned (oops!) but I don’t see godiva61 saying anything. And I don’t want anything with her either. She doesn’t hypocritically respond to post by contradicting statments made in her own. Although she liked the poem too, she admits that there are intelligent and strong brothers that obviously don’t fit the description of the black man in that poem (huh?). There are plenty of white, Asian, and Latino men that put their women through the exact same bull. You need to recognize that! As a black man, I won’t allow someone to generalize me with such disregard and not defend myself. That’s what our plight has been for the past few centuries, but for some reason you can’t respect my (or our since we’re all connected as you so succinctly put it) tenacity in speaking against deregatory remarks, unjustified scenarios, and degrading stereotypes aimed at black men in front of every other race of person on this site. How dare you! Please, just keep it shut. Your mouth, your eyes, your nose, your ears, your legs, your snatch, your crack, your doors, and your windows. Just stay home and die as a reclusive, deaf, mute, asphyxiated hermit with sepsis wishing you could pee without your head exploding. I want to end it right here, but I could on as long as you’d like.

    I thought I told you to keep your S@#T to yourself. Also, women like it up the butt, too. I’m sure they were the first to do so.
84. 

    Comment by godiva61 on 16 June 2009:

    To: Mr. Ichibod,

    First of all I never said that I was in agreement with the Apology nor was I defending it,nor did I publicly denounce it. I was trying to remain neutral about the Apology, and the reason for my trying to stay neutral about it was because I did not know who wrote it,or their motive for writing it. I try hard, even though I my fail from time to time, I make an attempt to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, by not being judgmental… I was however defending Ms. Aaziah because I thought then, as I do now, that the question’s that were asked of her were viable, but inappropiate because she was NOT the one who wrote the Apology, she was the messenger. I have that old school mentality so I believe if and when a person has question’s or concern’s pertaining to what someone has said, or in this case, what someone has written, then go straight to the source. When my one sister calls and ask me why the other sister did this or said that, my answer is “go ask her”!! I have to be honest, I did not then, or now, understand why the “negative” reaction to the Apology, but at the same time, I am not a Black Man, so I have no right to deny or minimize how he may have felt about the Apology…. We all perceive thing’s differently and I think it’s because of our personal experiences, our backround’s, and our level of maturity. It’s in my opinion that this will never change and it’s just a part of life. It does not mean that you are right and I am wrong, it just means that we are different. If I did “like” it as you said I did, this should not give you or anyone else the right to refer to me in a degrading/negative manner. We should try and extend to other’s the courtesy that we want for ourselves. You have every right to feel the way that you do but, it is in my opinion that it’s wrong to attempt to assasinate someone’s character just because you disagree with them, or in this case, because of the message that they brought forth. When J.Edgar Hoover decided to try and kill the message and the messenger, Dr.King, he started with the smear campaign, attacking his character by calling him a “communist”, a “womanizer” just to discredit him and to try and kill the message, but it didn’t work! We will all be held accountable for the word’s that we speak and the word’s that we write.

    Last but not least as far as this black man versus black women issue is concerned, I don’t personally believe that it is as grand as people make it out to be. I’m not denying that it doesn’t exist either. However I am tired of hearing that it’s all the black man’s fault, and I’m tired of hearing that it’s the black woman’s fault. It is enough blame and pain to be shared on both sides of the fence, but here’s the thing, we come from a people that their existence was not as good as a cow or a chicken, yet we managed to love each other. We come from people who were denied, humiliated, and hanged from trees, but we still managed to love each other, and even our enemies. They had to endure much worse than you and I, and it is on their shoulder’s, their blood, their sweat and tears that you and I have the luxuries, the opportunities, the freedom’s that they couldn’t even imagine ever having so who are we to dishonor their memories by treating each other now as they were once treated? I have never, or will I ever sterotype and say all black men are bad/undesireable. I won’t do that to any group of people. The blame has gone on far to long on both sides!! We need to keep it honest and fair, but we also need to come up with a new game plan. Bellichek and Brady can’t win if they are running the same plays every sunday, and this battle can’t be won with the same negative mentalities and behavior’s. Maybe it’s time for INDIVIDUALS to own up to their own behavior(s). If a person denounce’s and are opposed to bad and immoral behavior, then that sentiment should be applied to ALL, including our families, our friends, and the people that we look up to!!!!
    If and when a sister is bashing a black man, then as a man you have every right to step to her but stop categorizing ALL for a few INDIVIDUALS. Also if and when a MAN is refering to a group of women as whores, nappy headed, sellouts etc, then maybe they should be stepped to as well, bad behavior is bad behavior!… It would be nice if you liked me or at least respected me but I’m not devestated because you don’t. Just know that I am not your enemy, and the more you hate me, the more that I’m going to love you, even moreso. I am committed to being decent, and at the very least, given decency, and fairness my very best to ALL, and especially to the people who like me the least…..
85. 

    Comment by Ichibod on 16 June 2009:

    Godiva61,

    I don’t know what you look like, but your words and spirit are so beautiful.

    Stay sweet and be blessed!
86. 

    Comment by Ichibod on 16 June 2009:

    And Aaziah,

    Since you want to bring my mother into this, the only mistake you could possibly conceive of her making is bringing me into this world to destroy people like you. One mistake she didn’t make is having 2 sons by the same man and remaining married to him for over 30 years. He doesn’t fit the description of the black man in the poem you hold so dear in your crotch and bosom, either. Is that why you have a daughter and your profile says ‘Single’ rather than ‘Divorced’? I see why that poem would mean so much to you. I never mentioned anything about your mistakes and you went straight for my mom. Big mistake, sister. Big mistake.
87. 

    Comment by malarki5 on 16 June 2009:

    @Ichibod,

    I got ya back bro…soon come!

    Menelik Charles
    London
88. 

    Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 16 June 2009:

    (Pulling Ichibod back)

    Listen your sellout slut. At least he takes care of his daughter. If you let black men in their “children” lives that maybe we wouldn’t have this animosity towards you. Now you can running to an autistic white man that has a sick sexual fetish for you and you are still blaming black men.

    Go be with a white man why the fuck you keep bringing black men up in your desperation. You don’t say shit when a white guy calls you fat and unattractive. You sit there and take it.

    My parents have been married over 30 years. That is because the generation of women like my mother is basically dying out. Now you have hood rats, “ankles” and desperate black women that don’t know their ass from their elbow on how to treat a man.

    Then you got the nerve to ask for “respect” from men wearing tight clothes and shaking your ass on youtube. I don’t care how many degrees you have. I got a degree too.

    Learn to take personal responsibility for your images being damaged. Black men did not put a gun to your head to prostitute yourself to a white man. Black men never decided to ban you from mainstream magazines and movies and uphold the white woman’s image. You little crab in a barrel slut.

    How about attack the power structure instead of black men. Your busy kissing white ass for attention.

    When has been acceptable to knock black men who are actually “getting an education and doing the right thing”. While the white man makes excuses as to “why he didn’t date you in the past”. One excuse after another.

    All of you sellout black women make me sick!
89. 

    Comment by Aaziah on 17 June 2009:

    Ichibod Your writing only proves how miserable you are with yourself. You just want some company. thats all. I understand. You were so pleased that I responded. Spell? Ever heard of a “typo”? Im not hear to impress anyone, especially you. Why would I need to do that?! I dont have the same need as you to impress other with my education or typing/spelling skills. My goal isnt to be perfect, especially to impress the likes of you. Your not perfect either, re-read your typo’s!

    Im ok with what you need to believe about me or who you think I am. It doesnt change anything! You can keep this up because the size of what you’d like to have more of is attached to it. So, you keep this going on with your virtual buddies and your “virtual self-confidence.” Whateva keeps you hard, baby.

    Maybe you’ve learned to go to the source, thru all of this. I gave you his email, what? You’d rather do this with me cuz Im a black woman. I remember the good ol’ days when men only hated on other men, if they were haters, not women! Now, they get props & validation from their homie-lover-friends for the disrepect they shovel?!

    Oh, and then you justify your reoccupation with me in drag and bowel movements because women do it also?! AND we’ve done first?! WOW! So, say that’s true? You follow women NOT lead?! Imitate them, not protect and respect them! Oh, ok.

    Just for the record, I’m not one of those women that take it where you do. I’ve got something better than an asshole. You just mad because that is all you have, and what I have is so much more marketable! AND, I dont even have to use it and I bring more to the bargaining table!

    Okaay?!
90. 

    Comment by Ichibod on 18 June 2009:

    This is so pathetic. The topic is about how we are ‘Frenemies’. Friends and enemies at the same time. The posts in this blog all have to do with how we’re enemies, but not how we are still friends… or supposed to be at least.

    AaZiah,

    ” I’ve got material that you’ve given me but Imma chill.BUT- I’ll be here all week! LoL”

    I don’t know what material you’re refering to, but this preoccupation you have with my sexuality is very disgusting and unfounded. It has nothing to do with the topic of this blog other than how you have no intention of trying to help the situation. It would make a lot more sense to use the material that I, as well as others, have given regarding the misconceptions in the relationship between black men and black women. A typo is a typo. Neva, eva, cuz, ur, and nite are things teenagers and idiot rappers do. Keep pretending that ‘drag’ comment was for you and the reference to bowel movements had nothing to do with my opinion of your posts. You’re just showing your lack of reading comprehension skills and why you can’t see the big picture here. It’s almost like you’re purposely doing it. Again, GROW UP! I didn’t post a bunch of insults from the jump. Even the posts where I admit that I immaturely slandered you, I offered reasoning. You ignored it.

    You remember the good ol’ days when men hated on other men? I was always taught not to hate anyone, only sin. Quit living in the past. “Homie-lover-friends”? No, harlot. Just black men who truly understand the plight that black men and women have had to go through and are willing to say and do whatever it takes to end this bickering amongst us. Let’s argue over what to have for dinner. Let’s argue over what color to paint the walls in the family room. Let’s not argue over who’s more responsible for the other’s shitty choices in life. In the end, it’s the responsibility of the individual regardless of that person’s race or gender. I can’t say whether or not you grasp this concept, but it’s what we’ve been attempting to discuss and your comments are only in regard to slamming me for having a different opinion than yours. I’m not miserable. However, your choice to celebrate two poems: one which claims that women only have one superficial flaw and the other which presents some imaginary, yet somehow articulate, knucklehead admitting to a slew of flaws that many black men don’t have. You chose my statements to make puns, I chose your statements to make points. It’s that simple. I told you that I realized I said your name and maybe shouldn’t have. It was beside the point. And I’m glad Godiva61 actually did respond to me with such… I don’t know how to describe it. I just love her to death now. Anyway, back to you. When you first began to post, I figured you were just another well wisher to everybody looking for love in whatever capacity they could find it on this site. However, I realize that all you have to post is other people’s material and nothing of your own, except your insults which lack substance and border along the lines of… let’s say… an 8-10 year old’s mentally… in the mid 1980’s. Initially, I didn’t attack black women, I didn’t attack you, nor did I attack your family. I attacked some piss-poor excuse for literature and you took it personal. And much like it tries to suggest, I won’t hold myself or any other black man accountable for how you feel about that.

    Here’s where it can and should end. I suggest you re-read these posts starting on Jun 13th. You can even include my post from April 12th where I first chimed in on the subject (I see you joined in just after that on the 28th). If you would like to send me a message, we could settle this outside of the blog… away from your ‘big sister protector’ and my supposed ‘homie-lover-friends’. lol

    My offer for us to start acting like adults is now open.
91. 

    Comment by godiva61 on 18 June 2009:

    TO: Mr. Ichibod,

    I just want to reiterate that my comment is not to put you down or judge you for your friends. I think it’s noble and admirable to be “loyal” to your friend’s, another quality I admire in people. Since none of us are perfect, including our friend’s sometimes we have to do what is uncomfortable for the sake of doing what is right and fair. What we don’t say is as powerful as what we do say. Also just know if a woman was coming after you constantly with this type of behavior, I would denounce it and come to your defense. I believe in being fair and I despise HYPOCRISY!!!

    Like I said , I’m old school, which bring’s me to one of my biggest PET PEEVES, which is women who are adamant about being in public, with inappropiate clothes on. The booty shorts, too much cleavage and so on and so on. I also despise those tacky video’s, you know the ones. Everyone that know’s me know that I feel this way, especially my family. Those video’s get no play in my house, I will not support them!! So why did my neice try to get away with going to Macy’s with me with those nasty short’s on? Of course I pulled her up about it and she couldn’t go, so now she’s a little mad at me. I don’t care!! She know’s how I feel, it’s not going to change and just because she is my neice that does not mean the rules are going to be bent for her. If I bent them for her it would be the same as saying I approve , which I don’t!! My point, sometime’s we have to call out bad behavior in people that we care most about. It doesn’t have to be publicly or disrespectful. Character is best defined and refined when we face the adversity and controversy in our lives. I also believe that our present condition is not our conclusion….

    godiva61
92. 

    Comment by Fun_One on 18 June 2009:

    We are all God’s children, that have the “FREEDOM” to make our own choices in our lives. It’s only an issue if we choose to make it one. There are good and bad traits in all of us, since no HUMAN is created perfect. Not everyone is going to like everyone…….that is life.The first time I heard a black woman I dated, put down all black men I was shocked and dissapointed in her thoughts. Quote: black men are not worthy, either they don’t want work, and live off of what a woman brings home, or they make money, and spend it on other women and act snobish. In defense of black men, Sterio types are so unfair. I love black people,yellow,brown,red, and yes white people to make my list of love. We all deserve a fair chance right? Some say they don’t judge, but lets get real we “ALL” do. Judging color is the last thing, any sain person should do in life. That goes along the same lines, as multi-racial dating period. People are judged by there clothes,type of car,the type of housing they have,how many kids, and the money they make do I need to go on, thinking not I made my point clear. Not to put a feather in my hat, but honestly it dont make a rats A** to me. As long as you are clean, sweet.honest,caring,sharing,loving,considerate,compassionate,understanding,loyal,and above all “HONEST” Now do any of these traits cost money, or need money to own? Are people so bored they just need something to get upset about these days? I feel the soapbox broke yrs. ago, from so many people standing on it at once. Want to live in a better world,then help create it. Live and let live in harmony. Many blessings to those who bless others.

    One of God’s children,

    Marshall
93. 

    Comment by The_W on 19 June 2009:

    I love women, PERIOD. Any questions?
94. 

    Comment by malarki5 on 19 June 2009:

    @ Ichibod

    bro. you know some Black women’s attachement to Black men is almost entirely masochistic! They draw nothing but bad energy from us and then claim we are Kings of Africa! Then the wholesale accusations of murder, rape and general exploitation of Black women leak from their lips…

    They are so sapping of one’s spirit that I’d go so far as to date out in order so as to avoid all contact with them! I can imagine being the poor son of these over-bearing matriarchs…just awful!

    Shoot ya load bro, and then let it go. It really isn’t worth. Believe me, I know!

    Menelik Charles
    London England
95. 

    Comment by Re: debate on soul bros and sisters on 19 June 2009:

    About proof reading the profiles, we are not in an english grammar school or english college class. Look for whoever you are interested in if you click despite the typographical errors good luck but I can assure you it is true black men have issues until they have been burnt by the other races then they begin looking for black women.
96. 

    Comment by Re:Opondo on 19 June 2009:

    Responding on TEWAY2 comments about the grammar in the profiles. You came to this site to look for women not their typographical errors. If you came to look at their grammar and spelling, you better get on college grammar internet dating class and express your perspecitve about everything.
97. 

    Comment by Aaziah on 19 June 2009:

    Ichibod sweetie

    I re-read everything before I responded. What I did was,
    respond in kind. I dont care what your opinion is about people who use short hand in what is typed here! You dont know anything about me except what you read and from THAT is only your INTERPRETATION!

    Im sure anyone who reads what I wrote from day one and what you’ve been writing KNOWS who is trying to impress others and who is NOT! Be clear of something else. The word widow implies, to most, people that a marriage was involved. Maybe not to you, but that is also how I described the mother of my grandchildren. Again, you READ AND INTERPRET what you choose to already believe about us. About stereotypes.

    You called “urself” challenging me from the beginning with the last statement in ur questionnaire form! It didnt apply to me, so I left it like that. It was then suggested to you to go to the source. You fought, squirmed and felt slighted “cuz” I didnt answer every one of “ur” questions. Did you ask the black women who supposedly hate-stare “ur” list?! No. Thats too direct. You like it like this, its safer!

    Once you realize that one act doesn’t mean one thing all of the time you would have “grown up”! For example: something as small as a person choosing to use abbreviations (like cuz!) does not mean only one thing (cant spell or uneducated) It’s actually the opposite.

    It’s is BECAUSE I know myself and MY WORTH, that I dont feel the need to impress you or anyone else. I am also comfortable with being “flawed” However, I will not moved towards improvement by the likes of you just as you. Why should I expose my tender side to you and others like you knowing how you feel about me? After reading YOUR adjectives and after thoughts. I have shared my own personal stories, including 2 poems. I have said more than once how much I love black men, but if you re-read some of what you and ur buddies wrote, you’d think I feel opposite.

    Truth of the matter is, some black men are just seeking for reasons as to why this so-called rift between black men and women should exist. So, what I wrote will be seen through that type of lens. And, that also goes for the black women who dont date black men.

    What ever the case, this thing has and it shall continue, inspite of my prior statements regarding my fondness for my brother. I even stated that I’ve “NEVA” dated outside of my race, but “ur” comments to me have also demonstrated confirmation to those women who do only date outside of their race!

    Just know this, I stopped reading your entire posts a long time ago. But, I will be the one who decides whether I respond to you in kind or not. NOT YOU!

    It will be my choice, only, with regard as to how to respond, without considering for a moment how YOU think I should respond, write or spell! Just as you do not consider my feelings when you spew your jargon. Like Mitchell said, whatever you want, become it! You want respect, respect yourself by making better choices on what name you want 2 use whden referring to me. Im not the kind of woman thats going to keep turning the other cheek. there are women like that and we need them, but we also need women like myself as well. I wanna be like MLK but sometimes people can bring out Malcom. We needed them both. Sometimes it is necassary to fight fire with fire, an eye for an eye too!

    Some people dont respond to kindness, and only respects you once they discover you’r not “gonna” put up with it. Do you think that only men are that way? No.

    We should respect everyone, whatever they’re decision. But Im going to have an opinion and Im gonna type it it whatEVA form that my mood dictates. (I’ve responded using my blackberry several times, that will also determine my choice of flair!)

    Thats what this format is for. I am not here to critique writing in order to form judgement about a person’s education, diction, typo’s or text writing. I critique thought. Trying to understand and be understood. So, I spoke in your lanquage. Take your friends advice and just shoot ur load somewhere else. We can agree to disagree, no skin of my pretty “azz”

    I have bigger fish to fry! I have a life! I have a beautifil, a smart, talented and personable daughter who is, YES, widowed therefore single, raising my equally beautiful, spirited and conscience-minded grandchildren.

    Please!!

    I AM inspite of you….

    I also know that for some, this is the only place one can be anybody.

    Im also aware of the pissed-off- tisity that arises in some men upon their first glimpse of me. For some, not all, I remind them of the women who always turned them down, IF he had the coursage to even step to her, in order to be turned down. If HE decides that I probably wont talk to him, or that Im probably got a man or Im stuck up- he gets upset with me. Some of THOSE men, after having been faced with not having the courage to step to me or others like me, get online and take it out in other forms. Talk about mis-placed anger,huh?!

    Some men will know exactly what I mean and some women will, as well. You see, beauty, brains AND personality is not always well received by many. It is NOT as “e-z” as one thinks it is for attractive people. Attitudes can sometimes errupt of something very small. Sometimes nothing-at-all!

    Like the word “cuz”
98. 

    Comment by Aaziah on 19 June 2009:

    Thank You! Debate On Soul Bros and Sis’s…

    Comment by Re: debate on soul bros and sisters on 19 June 2009:

    “About proof reading the profiles, we are not in an english grammar school or english college class. Look for whoever you are interested in if you click despite the typographical errors good luck but I can assure you it is true, black men have issues. until they have been burnt by the other races then they begin looking for black women.”

    You’ve said allot with few words!

    (def one of my flaws, but only on THIS subject!)

    Aaziah

    
99. 

    Comment by The_W on 19 June 2009:

    If this blog is not a microcosm of the problems black men and women have with each other, I don’t know what is. It’s like we love to sharpen our criticism skills on one another and rip into the souls of our bretheren for nothing more than simple amusement. Are we “keepin’ it real” or really keeping the veil pulled over the true pain that lies beneath the surface? We were ni**ers, jigga boos, spooks, koons, hoes, and freaks, and now the internalization of all this hatred has poisoned our souls to the extent that we can’t stand the sight of our own kind.
    As a real estate agent, I understand the concept of selling yourself to the audience your trying to reach. The first step in the process is to know yourself and then believe in self. Love is Love, as Cappadonna once said. Anyone seeking to distract you from self love is hurt themselves. Don’t confuse another’s self hatred for anything associated you. That’s their problem. Being flexible and keeping options open is like diverifying your portfolio.
    Black culture is beautiful, and I’m willing to sell this culture to ANY compasionate woman willing to buy.
    Sistas, I AM your brotha, but don’t hate me because I love. Love the fact that I’m selling ‘us’ to us and to all ‘other’ women willing to buy. Racial harmony is a concept attainable, if we simple allow love to love. Be one nubians, and sell ‘us’ to world. Peace. The_W
100. 

     Comment by The_W on 19 June 2009:

     If this blog is not a microcosm of the problems black men and women have with each other, I don’t know what is. It’s like we love to sharpen our criticism skills on one another and rip into the souls of our bretheren for nothing more than simple amusement. Are we “keepin’ it real” or really keeping the veil pulled over the true pain that lies beneath the surface? We were ni**ers, jigga boos, spooks, koons, hoes, and freaks, and now the internalization of all this hatred has poisoned our souls to the extent that we can’t stand the sight of our own kind.
     As a real estate agent, I understand the concept of selling yourself to the audience your trying to reach. The first step in the process is to know yourself and then believe in self. Love is Love, as Cappadonna once said. Anyone seeking to distract you from self love is hurt themselves. Don’t confuse another’s self hatred for anything associated you. That’s their problem. Being flexible and keeping options open is like diverifying your portfolio.
     Black culture is beautiful, and I’m willing to sell this culture to ANY compasionate woman willing to buy.
     Sistas, I AM your brotha, but don’t hate me because I love. Love the fact that I’m selling ‘us’ to us and to all ‘other’ women willing to buy. Racial harmony is a concept attainable, if we simply allow love to love. Be one nubians, and sell ‘us’ to the world. Peace. The_W
101. 

     Comment by Ichibod on 19 June 2009:

     Nice post Fun_One

     Black men and black women, best “Frenemies”.

     We are best friends because we appreciate each other’s similarities and go through the many of same things at the same time. Same color, same culture, same history, same names, same medical conditions, same laws, same struggle, same insecurities as well as our need for one another according to our genders (that means most likely sexual partners). We are enemies because instead of working together, we project each other’s insecurities and ultimately guilt on to one another. When a black man/women is up, the opposite black man/women is looking for a share or handout and attempt to sabotage or discredit their counterpart. When a black man/women is down, the opposite black man/woman may forget where he/she came from and leave their counterparts to their own devices. It’s a glorious, yet vicious cycle all at the same time.

     To Aaziah,

     I was hoping that we could take this somewhere private so no additional souls could enter and help prolong this alleged conflict. But, whatever. I enjoyed reading post, nevertheless.

     You used your Blackberry in some of your posts? Cool! My bad. I like to text, too. I seldomly use shorthand myself, but understandable for those that do. I say ‘lol’ frequently. My apologies for that previous remark.

     “Neva, eva, cuz, ur, and nite are things teenagers and idiot rappers do.”

     An insult that apparently backfired on me. ~Tisk, tisk~

     When I mentioned you having a daughter and your profile saying ’single’ and not ‘divorced’, I was refering to you, not your daughter. That was in retaliation for the comment about my mother. However, I don’t know your situation, only that you said her father is in her life. That’s very sad that your daughter’s husband died. I don’t joke about the widowed. I used to work in life insurance claims. The grief is horrible and I know one in particular that was actually liberated from an abusive marriage when her husband died. Blessing in diguise?

     “Truth of the matter is, some black men are just seeking for reasons as to why this so-called rift between black men and women should exist.”

     More than some, Ms Aaziah. A LOT! And I am so ready to take them on. Problem is, I just don’t see them posting on these blogs. I see more black women doing this on these blogs, therefore it starts to appear like I am always lashing out at black women, and that hurts. I love you, gals!

     I’ve seen your statements about how you love black men. I see how you’re a black women, on an interracial dating site, and have a preferrence for black men. That’s why I wanted this back and forth stuff between us to come to a halt. Something just didn’t add up.

     There’s qutie a bit about your last response here that I didn’t understand. By reading your post from months ago, it seems like you meant to say some of the things to someone else rather than to me because I don’t know where we may have discuss them. Hate-stareing my list, me challenging you with questionaire something or other, and
     not knowing anything about you. This is all foreign to me. This beef started with a poem and a lot of gay references. But no matter. Please let’s just be over it now.

     You said something very powerful toward the end of this last post that I do however find to be so true it’s insane. I won’t go too far into it, but I will say that when I see a pic of a attractive black woman, I get excited. Then when I read the profile and scroll to the bottom (you know what I talking about), I freak. You say ” For some, not all,”? From a man’s point of view, you have no idea just how much. Misplaced anger? I wouldn’t doubt it in the least. As a matter of fact, I guarantee it. Keep yourself looking good no matter what. That’s all I have to say about that.

     I will leave this right here. Hope to see you around. I see you enjoy this blogging thing as much as I do so I’m sure I will. Later, Sis!

     I use ’cause more often, but the word “cuz” is okay! =)
102. 

     Comment by ddsharper on 20 June 2009:

     I think many in the black race are confused and the main source of the confusion is that we buy into the lies. People. Please listen to the video on his website by Janx called What Black Men Think and READ Tim Wise’s articles. We generalize and treat one another with such little respect and that only happened after so-called integration, after the infiltration of the black race by whites. I am in the Pacific NW and ALL the brothers are with whites. Their weatlh will revert to whites, their souls will go unfed. We lost our language, customs, wealth when we left Africa and have been tossed and turned in the waves of racism and now we are losing our souls, spirits and minds to the lies. I think black men are the best on the planet, we must raise them to feel the same about themselves and to be loyal to the black woman. God apportioned a plan for our happiness and fulfillment but the white controlled hip hop industry has turned the young blacks into soft porn stars and we condone it. 100 hip hop pubs are owned by an all white firm, featured in the dreamweaver corporate example site, and that includes XXL, with a young white editor who manipulates blacks like a fish manipulates a dangling worm. Well, that’s all I have to say. I am praying for Black America, which is becoming as decadent as white America; at least some.
103. 

     Comment by ddsharper on 20 June 2009:

     The Truth has hit the nail on the head!!!! Kudos.
104. 

     Comment by godiva61 on 20 June 2009:

     To: Mr. Ichibod,

     You got it going on!! One of the thing’s I find so SEXY in a Man is his confidence and his strength to REGROUP from a somewhat negative situation in a positive manner. As my daddy used to say “that’s what REAL MEN do”!!! Strength, wisdom, humility, and truth are the characteristic’s of a Honorable Man…

     I’m proud to know you!!
105. 

     Comment by godiva61 on 20 June 2009:

     Mr. Andrew Brown and to The_W,

     I’m proud to know you as well!! You both are fine examples of decent human beings.. Thank GOD!

     godiva61
106. 

     Comment by Islandsun84 on 22 June 2009:

     This post is seriously a joke. Where did this info in the book even come from? 77.1 of black mothers tell their daughters negative tales about black men…. Who and where are these 77.1% mothers because none of the numerous females among my family and friends remember disclosing any of this information. You really have to look at the credibility of some of the things you read. As far as what the ONE blogger stated in the article, that’s their own opinion and they do not represent the African American /Black community. In these days, people as a whole have many personal issues, education is not longer limited to certain races or the affluent, and as the great Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character”. With that said, I believe individuals are looking outside the box when it comes to finding the perfect mate. There are more opinions out there for individuals to prosper and better themselves. Unfortunately, some don’t take advantage of that, so what’s the problem with going outside box-whether that box be race, age, country, etc. I have mostly Caucasian friends, no reason, that just how it is, but when an issue arises in their relationship they do have negative things to say. What individual wouldn’t? Anger isn’t a race issue and I don’t believe there is more anger between black men and women than there are with any other race. What do we call individuals that ASSume…. As a African American/Black woman, I have no issues with black men (even though my mother was a single parent). I have dated outside my race, but it has nothing to do with race. I believe pure preference is the culprit of this alleged “Frenemity” and that’s how a relationship should me. You should be with someone that compliments YOU, respects YOU, and loves YOU and it should not be limited to society’s label’s of what a relationship should be and who it should be with. I’ve ran into numerous Caucasian men (outside the internet) that only date Black, Latin, or Asian women, is that considered a “frenemity” relationship among Caucasian men and women? What about Caucasian women who only date Latin or Black men? This article seriously needs to be revised and focus on the dating changing in society as a whole. Interracial dating is something that should be embraced, it shows that we are progressing as a nation.
107. 

     Comment by Islandsun84 on 22 June 2009:

     Wow…I’m actually shocked by some of the responses I’ve read . This article obviously was written only to cause controversy and bring individuals together that have nothing in common and no interest in each other. Honestly, there are a good many of you that should be ashamed of the ignorance you let your fingers express. For those of you that “put down” black women and men, you should seriously look at yourselves, I’m sure you will see the REAL problem. My heart seriously goes out to those who are so negative and the few still living in past because its evident that you have been seriously sheltered. I advise those living in a box to get out and explore the world. If not the world, maybe just outside your time zone will do the trick. Going off what you see in your neighborhood, while you’re on vacation, or television isn’t enough to past that much judgment on a group of people. I think instead those that are using the “some”, “most”, and “many” need to bring it down to first person because its obvious that you’re going off your personal experiences. I find it amusing that an individual can use words that refer to a number of people, but yet have no credibility. Referring to spell checking profiles, black women dining out all the time, and drug use among black men and women…are you serious? How petty…. I believe these are avenues individuals are using to justify their selection of whomever it may be. Why must someone put down another to justify their actions, I have no idea. What someone does with their life is their business and justification is never needed. I believe that someone that can speak so badly about a group of individuals, even if you use the “some”, “most”, or “many” are seriously unhappy with themselves. If you were happy with yourself, you would focus on yourself and your personal experiences rather than referring to a group of people. Like I said in my other post, this article nor the book stated has any creditability. If you think about it, this website is an interracial dating site, so the individuals here are looking outside the box (although from my two days of experience, some are looking inside their race also) for different reasons(whether its personal preferences or past experiences), so why even get so heated about this subject?
108. 

     Comment by Ichibod on 22 June 2009:

     Islandsun84,

     I really hate to say this because it was always told to me growing up, but… YOU ARE NOT BLACK! You are retarded.

     “This article seriously needs to be revised and focus on the dating changing in society as a whole.”

     Revised? This is a real issue, and everyone here recognizes that it does exists whether they are a part of the solution or the problem.

     “…as the great Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character”.”

     Already been posted.

     “I’m actually shocked by some of the responses I’ve read .”

     Already been posted.

     ” I have mostly Caucasian friends,”

     Already been posted.

     STOP SPAMMING!
109. 

     Comment by Islandsun84 on 22 June 2009:

     Ichiod,

     I’m sorry you went through such harsh treatment as a child. Hopefully one day you will be able to let it go and keep moving just as I just did with your comment. I didn’t read though all of 178 posts, but I did come across many that stated this wasn’t an issue in their opinion, so your statement “This is a real issue, and everyone here recognizes that it does exists whether they are a part of the solution or the problem” is incorrect. As far as me spamming, I don’t let others determine what I have to say, hence the reason I have two posts.
110. 

     Comment by Ichibod on 22 June 2009:

     Tell it to Oprah. Maybe you should have read more, a lot more before you posted your runny discharge of a comment. The topic is valid. The comments have been valid. You are just dying for the attention that your dad evidently didn’t give you, which is evident by attempting to sound angry at a topic that you obviously don’t understand. The people who stated that this wasn’t an issue, are talking about interracial dating in general and not the topic at hand. Trust me. I’ve read all of these post and have been apart of it since the beginning. Learn some history about your race and what we have been through, sista girl. It has nothing to do with living in the past, it’s about correcting our present for a brighter future in sptie of our past. And all those, “a person should love who they want”, “Love has no color”, and “we all bleed red blood” comments have no place in a blog about the rift between black men and black women.

     As I said on April:

     “…these topics are getting very old. Many of them start with some white person’s opinon, then some black women’s beef with that white person’s opinion. Followed by the typical lame , “Love has no color, we are all the same”, comment. After a little of that garbage, more crap that has nothing to do with the topic, then a black man comes to the white person defense, and maybe a counterattack from a guy who just wants his flirt to ‘beef’ chick accepted, and then the heat is on and you never see another comment from a white person for the rest of the blog. Just back a forth, black men and women not getting along in a blog asking why black men and women don’t along.” I called this out long ago and what have you seen?

     “Why must someone put down another to justify their actions, I have no idea.”

     You sure don’t. That’s exactly what we are here to discuss.
111. 

     Comment by Islandsun84 on 23 June 2009:

     Ichibod,

     It’s obvious individual’s calling you “retarded” as a child has had a real negative affect on you as an adult. Please don’t consider my post to be an attempt to be angry. Like I said, this article brought individuals together on this site that obviously have nothing in common, so anger in my opinion is not justified. This isn’t an attack on me. I’m not really going to dwell on the subject with you because I’d be here for days and that’s definitely not why I joined this site. You’re right, you have been here since the beginning, so I’m guessing that makes you right…? There’s obviously no reason to beat a dead horse, but I did enjoy the feedback.

     Good luck to you~
112. 

     Comment by Ichibod on 23 June 2009:

     I was calling you retarded but much like the topic, you totally missed the point. Goodbye!
113. 

     Comment by ddsharper on 23 June 2009:

     The first year of our activities for the Black Star Line added prestige to the Universal Negro Improvement Association. Several hundred thousand dollars worth of shares were sold. Our first ship, the steamship Yarmouth, had made two^8 voyages to the West Indies and Central America. The white press had flashed the news all over the world. I, a young negro, as President of the corporation, had become famous. My name was discussed on five continents. The Universal Negro Improvement Association gained millions of followers all over the world. By August, 1920, over 4,000,000 persons had joined the movement. A convention of all the negro peoples of the world was called to meet in New York that month. Delegates came from all parts of the known world. Over 25,000 persons packed the Madison Square Garden on Aug. 1 to hear me speak to the first International Convention of Negroes. It was a record-breaking meeting, the first and the biggest of its kind. The name of Garvey had become known as a leader of his race. From the Marcus Garvey Papers.

     Where are all the real brothers at?

     http://www.international.ucla.edu/africa/mgpp/sample01.asp
114. 

     Comment by ddsharper on 23 June 2009:

     We feel that there is absolutely no reason why there should be any differences between the black and white races, if each stop to adjust and steady itself. We believe in the purity of both races. We do not believe the black man should be encouraged in the idea that his highest purpose in life is to marry a white woman, but we do believe that the white man should be taught to respect the black woman in the same way as he wants the black man to respect the white woman. It is a vicious and dangerous doctrine of social equality to urge, as certain colored leaders do, that black and white should get together, for that would destroy the racial purity of both. Marcus Garvey Papers.
115. 

     Comment by ddsharper on 23 June 2009:

     Because of that we have developed few men who are able to understand the strenuousness of the age in which we live. Where can we find in this race of ours real men. Men of character, men of purpose, men of confidence, men of faith, men who really know themselves? I have come across so many weaklings who profess to be leaders, and in the test I have found them but the slaves of a nobler class. They perform the will of their masters without question. To me, a man has no master but God. Man in his authority is a sovereign lord. As for the individual man, so of the individual race. This feeling makes man so courageous, so bold, as to make it impossible for his brother to intrude upon his rights.

     So few of us can understand what it takes to make a man - the man who will never say die; the man who will never give up; the man who will never depend upon others to do for him what he ought to do for himself; the man who will not blame God, who will not blame Nature, who will not blame Fate for his condition; but the man who will go out and make conditions to suit himself. Oh, how disgusting life becomes when on every hand you hear people (who bear your image, who bear your resemblance) telling you that they cannot make it, that Fate is against them, that they cannot get a chance. If 400,000,000 Negroes can only get to know thesmelves, to know that in them is a sovereign power, is an authority that is absolute, then in the next twenty-four hours we would have a new race, we would have a nation, an empire, - resurrected, not from the will of others to see us rise, - but from our own determination to rise, irrespective of what the world thinks.
     Marcus Garvey
116. 

     Comment by LeadFoot1997 on 23 June 2009:

     uh hi, i guess, my family pretty much tryed to rase me to become races when i was little, even when i was litte i just couldn’t care if one was black or white, couse it just didn’t matter to me at all couse where al just human anyway, so it don’t matter as long you have love or just pure likeness for one, it matters not who you you fall in love with or like…..
117. 

     Comment by Ichibod on 24 June 2009:

     Wrong topic!

     STOP SPAMMING!
118. 

     Comment by Aaziah on 26 June 2009:

     RE:

     Comment by Ichibod on 19 June 2009:

     Nice post Fun_One

     I appreciate your apology and I also apologize for my referring to your mother in any way, even if it was to include her in a group that I thought you were bashing.
     I apologize for all my digs, as well Ichibod. I tried to use humor, but it didn’t continue to work for me. (Even though I laughed as I typed)

     It’s just that- I care so much for the state of US, that-not only did I stray from being the non-judgmental person that I like to continue working towards, but I also just plain ol’ got upset with you & felt the need to respond! But, like they say, you can only get upset with someone you care about! I’m done with trying to save the world all at once. Im gonna stick with the person in the mirror and fight fear with love and acceptance. I’m also sorry for “drag” comments, (but come on now- you left that door wide open)

     Seriously, I apologize for all the above AND anything else that may have offended you, that I may have failed to mention.

     Smoochez and all that mushy stuff, too, Ichibod!

     Let’s cyber-hug!

     Aaziah
119. 

     Comment by godiva61 on 27 June 2009:

     To: Ms. Aaziah,

     Blessed is the woman and man who strives for peace. I appreciate, and admire your apology to Ichibod.

     When we have done our best, we should wait the result in PEACE..

     Thanks also for the reminder, that beauty came come from the ashes..

     love
     godiva
120. 

     Comment by Aaziah on 30 June 2009:

     Thank you Godiva.

     I am, like many, a work in progress. I appreciate your wisdom, balance and mediation skills, as well! I would love to share my Skype number with you as well as email address!

     It is (646) 401-0041 {www.Skype.com} My email is my handle at msn dot com. Lets stay connected, k?! I’d like to stay in touch with those of whom I am sure to benefit from knowing, whatsoever the length of our season.

     Bless You, Godiva

     Aaziah
121. 

     Comment by Aaziah on 30 June 2009:

     Hey Godiva and company, Look what I’ve found! Interesting…

     The Limit of the Universe

     We are closest when we are apart.
     Each takes tiny steps back when
     We are finally together again,
     Forced away by the
     Thoughts of closeness risen from solitude.
     Lonely alone
     Lonely together
     This is not what I had in mind.
     Where fear is the driving force
     Fear must be of each other too,
     A wedge forever standing
     Until we need not be afraid
     Which in this stifling, frowning
     Disallowing world
     Must never happen.

     Copyright © 1995 by Katherine Foreman.

     http://www.hyperborea.org/alenxa/free.html
122. 

     Comment by Timbo649 on 5 July 2009:

     Well I can see why they would be at each other’s throats. Many black dudes and black women are knuckleheads. And dealing with knuckleheads can be frustrating. But what really makes black women so frustrating is that they are so sexy. So you can’t just write them off and ignore them for being a bunch of knuckleheads.
123. 

     Comment by Ichibod on 5 July 2009:

     That’s funny, Timbo. And good to see you again, by the way.
124. 

     Comment by 876pineapple on 15 July 2009:

     Mr Laurelton Queens, lets hope you weren’t born to a black woman, & lets prey that God Wouldn’t bless you with a daughter.
125. 

     Comment by ddsharper on 15 July 2009:

     Ichibod: Were you telling me to stop spamming with respect to the words of Marcus Garvey, words that very much fit into this discussion? If you directed your comment to me I am saying that this is not spam but on topic and relevant.
126. 

     Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 15 July 2009:

     Dear Pineapple lol

     God can be real funny. If I did have a daughter I would be happy. I would teach her how to be a real woman. None of this I can do ’stuff on my own”. She would know how to cook, clean and get an education. Oh yea and go to church too. I was born in the church that is a must.

     I will give you a quick story. Many years ago I was in highschool in New York. It was an all black high school. A couple hispanic girls came in. They were all freshman. I was a bit old to be in highschool for my final year lol. Anyway, me and my friends were posted up. So this little hispanic girl comes over to my friend and says “Oh I heard you was the most popular guy in school”. My homeboy had all these nappy headed black woman after him cause he had hazel eyes. Long story short, this little hispanic girl in a couple months had all these guys after her. So the black girls are like “what the fuck”. She wasn’t a ho at all. She just had that personality. Some of these black women they to conceded and got bad attitudes and it is catching up to them. Now when a man say something to them. They jump and look “desperate”.

     See, they don’t like me because I tell the truth. I don’t tell you just what you want to hear.

     Timbo if I was to give you advice concerning black women. You have to rule them with an iron fist. At the same time you have to be a hard working individual. My woman say I am ignorant and a cave man. I tell her you can always be with a man that “talk about what he is going to do” then with me that ACTUALLY gets it done.

     She still says I am a jerk. See I am a “good” jerk though.
127. 

     Comment by Aaziah on 25 July 2009:

     If you can be both a jerk and a good jerk, why can’t you see others as you see yourself?! In Layers.

     None of us is all bad or all good, sweetheart! One thing cannot be said about ALL black men, nor can one thing be said to describe all of us! All black women cannot be rulled with an iron fist. Some of us need to be “motivated”! Stroked and made to feel that you want what is best for her as you want what is best for yourself, baby! Thats all.

     We’re not too much different from you. Our Black men! We’re both strong and weak in simular places just as you all are, our counterparts!

     Just a thought….

     btw- love,Love, LOVE men from the east coast!

     (”… to da east my brother, to the east!)

     Aaziah
128. 

     Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 25 July 2009:

     Dear Aaziah

     I guess I can try to see other people in layers. The daily barrage of attacks on black people is disturbing to the psyche. I was watching CNN To be “Negro in America” part 2.

     Pretty much the same old rubbish. Black women make bad decisions. Young black men doing some stupid shit. Hey I have done stupid shit before. I must admit in my youth.

     Nothing like a damn home invasion and stealing a white man’s car!

     Soledud interview this guy and he had me believe that he was going to do the right thing as a black man. He basically folded under the pressure.

     Then they broadcast this shit. Some black women need to be ruled with an iron fist because of their inability to find the right guy to have a child with.

     I put that pressure on myself not because I believe women are inferior. I do it because a man must accept his leadership role in a relationship. That is just my opinion.
129. 

     Comment by Aaziah on 25 July 2009:

     Dear Mr. Laurelton Queens-

     I understand more of what you meant, thank you.

     I also agree, men should take their place as heads of households without folding.

     I am single and will be until I meet a man as you’ve described. I know my role and I want a black man that knows his role. I dont want to tell him what it is either. I want and will only submit to THAT man, who has submitted to God first.

     I agree that women have made bad choices. So, have I. I’ve been careful with whom I lay, mother of only one child but always wished for more. I enjoy my grands now, with the feeling that my daughter had the sons I’ve always wanted!

     Thanks for your prompt reply and,

     Have a good night, Mr Laurelton Queens

     Aaziah
130. 

     Comment by Shotgun007 on 29 July 2009:

     To: Timbo649,

     Going off the subject entirely. If your perception of disgustingly “unhealthy” blog exchanges between black women and black men would result in your analysis that we (bm/bw) are “knuckleheads”, you may be taking these blogs to literally. “Sexiness” at some point becomes superficial as men and women age, physical appearances change, so you should look for substance in a mate. Fact!.

     Get to know the genuine spirit of that person instead of drawing a complete/final opinion about a given race of women based on argumentative senseless blog debates, as opposed to “constructive dialogue” between adults.

     Finding a mate takes time and it is very unfortunate that we live in a world filled with stereotypes across all racial lines, including “Intra-Racial” from within. These same stereotypes continue to demolish relationships between races.

     I won’t even get into the negative remarks that my white female friends tell me about white men because you would be very disgusted and potentially infuriated to know how “SOME” white women rip’ on white men as well.

     Good Luck to you!!

     Shotgun007
131. 

     Comment by Filipino on 30 July 2009:

     Hey black dudes I just want to dispel any myths about Filipinas being racist to black guys. Sure some of them are racist and don’t like black men but I know many Filipinas in my country who are not like that.
132. 

     Comment by Ichibod on 30 July 2009:

     I’m not aware of any myths, but I understand, dude. I don’t know many Filipinas that personally do not like black guys here in Jacksonville, Florida, but you don’t see many romantic relationships between them. Only platonic ones, friends of friends and such. However, not many asians women interested in black men come up in the searches on this site. Maybe they’re just not members. Who knows?

     Now as for the old Filipinos, there are some that seem to not trust us very much. I was making a delivery to a house in my company van and uniform. An old asian lady was sitting on the porch, and as I got out of the van and started walking toward the house with my customer friendly smile and package in hand, she quickly ran inside with the most frightended look in her eyes as she closed the door behind her. Her daughter opended the door immediately with a big smile and spoke to me in a manner as to let her mother know not to be so paranoid. It was quite funny to me. Half of my friends in high school were Filipino or of other asian backgrounds. I was very cool with their parents so I know all of your elders are not like that. Take care, bro!
133. 

     Comment by julius26 on 31 July 2009:

     Just read your comments islandsun and your right many races are now dating outside there race.And your right white men and white woman dont bash one another for doing it so we should not either.
     There are people who are putting out blogs to divide black men and woman and that is their real aim.
     Thanks shotgun007 for stating that white women rip into white men and iam sure that some white men has misgivings about white woman.But do they state them publicly on blogs, how silly they would look.
     I always say quality is in the person not in the race,i hate reading blogs that slag of black and
     recomend white people. Yes black men and woman have the right to broaden their scope when its comes to looking for love, because iam considering it myself, but if i do go with another nationality iam not putting up a blog saying ” yeah leave black woman date white women they treat you better”. When black people do this where the ones that end up being the biggest losers, but some black people dont see this.

     Respect between men and woman
     Julius
134. 

     Comment by Malarki5 on 31 July 2009:

     Timbo said:

     what really makes black women so frustrating is that they are so sexy. So you can’t just write them off and ignore them for being a bunch of knuckleheads.

     Menelik says:

     and sexuality is where Black women’s power truly lies! Look at the sista on I Love New York and confirm for yourself what Timbo is saying!

     Problem for many Black women is they don’t have the FEMININITY to back up those astonishing curves and cat sensuality.

     Flat-assed Asian ladies do and so if they choose to move over to Black men will have no trouble finding men desperate to interact with genuinely feminine females.

     Menelik Charles
     London England
135. 

     Comment by Aaziah on 31 July 2009:

     In response to you Menelik, I will only repeat what Julius stated above your blog.

     “Thanks shotgun007 for stating that white women rip into white men and iam sure that some white men has misgivings about white woman.But do they state them publicly on blogs, how silly they would look.

     I always say quality is in the person not in the race,I hate reading blogs that slag of black and
     reccomend white people. Yes black men and woman have the right to broaden their scope when its comes to looking for love, because iam considering it myself, but if i do go with another nationality iam not putting up a blog saying ” yeah leave black woman date white women they treat you better”. When black people do this we’re the ones that end up being the biggest losers… ”

     Have a good weekend Menelik Charles and Julius.

     Love to the both of you.

     Aaziah

     http://www.PrettyOnPurpose.Ning.com
136. 

     Comment by 85kguy on 1 August 2009:

     Menelik,

     Menelik is the name of a famous legacy of Ethiopian Emperors. Do you speak Amharic? You can learn it online nowadays. I can’t understand the alphabet though. Cant translate to our 26 letter alphabet.

     A lot of large Ethiopian communities in America nowadays. Lots of Orthodox Ethiopian Churches too. I love Enjera and doro wat! Their Greens are just like our African American Soul Food Greens!

     I am not an intellectual. Dude, they are everywhere here in Texas, Minnesota, and Washington DC.

     Ichibod,

     Great discussion on Virginia and George Lynch. You should visit Williamsburg, VA one day. An entire city of actors portraying life when half the city population was black slaves (black slave actors and all).

     Nigerian rice is the bomb! It will make your eyes water.

     Africans communities here demonstrate a solid black male/female family structure.

     Generations of young people in America follow change course in their trends from the last generation. Who knows…. Africanization may take hold here and this generation will be the old-timers who follow whites.
137. 

     Comment by malarki5 on 2 August 2009:

     Hi 85 Guy,

     no, I am not Ethiopian. My parents aire from Trinidad but I was born in London. My granmother gave me the name Menelik at birth. He was the son of King Soloman and the Queen of Sheba (Ethiopia) and their great love is mentioned in the Old Testement. This is where my gran got the name from.

     Btw their are many Ethiopians in London, and there is even a place to eat called Menelik. I eat their often and I am treated like a local celebrity lol

     Regards

     Menelik Charles
     London England
138. 

     Comment by malarki5 on 2 August 2009:

     @ Whoever,

     First, I do not have a blog. Second, I do not advocate black men leave Black women to date inter-racially. Third, telling a truth is NOT bashing. Fourth, I am not on here seeking to date anyone. Fifth, I do NOT date outside of my race…ever!

     Menelik Charles
     London England
139. 

     Comment by 85kguy on 2 August 2009:

     My Friends,

     A. From being oppressed to being a success. African American women had to work at a much earlier point in our African American timeline history than other women did in theirs.

     B. Our timeline history is not as long in years as the timeline history of other cultures. Our culture is less than 400 years old.

     C. Working for and equal to a man as slaves. After slavery as sharecroppers, nannies, cooks, maids, laundry women. They have always had an economic equality with their male counterparts. Sometimes they were the sole economic breadwinners in the family due to prejudice and discrimination.

     D. Other cultures are thousands of years old. Womens rights are just a drop in the bucket on the timeline of their culture. Not to pick on them, but the Asian culture had been around a long time. Women in Asia may have not even earned money for 200 years there of their multi-millenium culture.
     This can make them more “feminine” and needy.

     E. African American influence and example made things better for Black people around the world. Progress in Black America meant change for the better in other areas of the world through inspiration or influence.

     Conclusion: Respect African American women. They are the reason we survived as a people during the hardest of our cultural times. That survival lead to a brighter day for Blacks of other cultures and locales worldwide.

     Menelik my Brother: Imagine if you were to tell an African American woman that you understand this truth. You are a man from another black culture that benefited at least somewhat indirectly from their struggle. Imagine how much brighter their response would be to you.

     African American Woman: You have a heritage of working equality of sorts for a larger timeline percentage of your cultural existence than any other women in the world have in theirs. This is what helps makes you “sexy” to some and I am afraid to say unfairly “unappealing” to others outside your African American culture. Know that your ancestry and present day contribution has benefited all black people worldwide either directly or indirectly. If they get on your nerves, remind those black men from other cultures of this in as “feminine” a way as you can.
140. 

     Comment by urlover6 on 2 August 2009:

     I don’t hate Black Men, but they have wronged me one too many times. I love my brother, father, and relatives, and that’s about it.
     I find it hard to love Black Men or even becoming friends with one. It’s like the ones around me are all the same, and act immaturely.
     I mean, I’m very young and so are all the guys around me, but White Guys at least act maturely and a lot of them are smart and goal oriented . I think it has to do more about lifestyle and culture than race. I’m attracted to the lifestyle of most White Men. While the fake acts for a lot of young Black Men turns me off.
141. 

     Comment by ezrhino2001 on 9 August 2009:

     Here’s is really were the divide happens , In many cases in the past years I here this from all my blk male friends barely a month with many mind u, not all within a relationship some blk women will ask a man to pay a bill its never a small bill and its understood that he is expected to pay that bill from that point on. It like if you care for me you will do this. Lets make this clear brother is single and has the same basic bills as well. He does not have a magic money tree out back to pay an additional unplanned bill monthly in addition to paying for all the dating activites.

     In most cases most white females reading this have no idea what i,am talking about here.They will bring their men lunch with out him asking and even an occasional surprise present or too. When you treat real men well the payback from us is automatic but if you make us feel like we are just a additional income , is where the problems are this in not all cases but in many is the biggest difference between black and white. THE PERSONAL FAMILY DRAMA, the ex boyfriend payback or hanging around drama , the dogs in house drama and letting an animal= them damn dogs in the house decide if your man is keeper or not is just plain not appreciated and not very intelligent. If your man is in the house put them damn dogs outside ! Your girlfriends are jealous of you and your new man especially if they do not have one of their own and never ask a man why another man did something ! Because in most cases we have no idea why we did something , and your gay male friend is just jealous and hating too hell he probably wants your man too so just like your girlfriends his advice is messed up as well. ! and he knows nothing about us straight men at all,and if baby daddy is not paying support or in his child’s life on a regular=weekly you need to move him out of the way too.He deliberately runs other men off while he is laying up elsewhere ! It does not matter if you like it or not but i just told you whats wrong with most black on black relationships . Do not make a good man pay for your past bad relationships or break his savings account to please you.
142. 

     Comment by tatted2death on 24 August 2009:

     “Do not make a good man pay for your past bad relationships ….”

     You make all the sense in the world, ezrhino….so let’s just broaden your statement a bit by repalcing “man” with “person” and I think we will have cover all the bases.

     Peace and Blessings
     tatted2death
143. 

     Comment by malarki5 on 24 August 2009:

     @ezrhino,

     Bro you sum up many of our predicaments without malice. Well done! That was one hell of an achievement!

     Some sistas’ are terrified of criticism lest it lead to deeper issues relating to themselves. I trust whoever reads your comments is able to sense no malice towards the sistas (or those who could be) was intended.

     Menelik Charles
     London England
144. 

     Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 24 August 2009:

     “Do not make a good man pay for your past bad relationships ….”

     More like don’t make a good man end up with Renee. Any woman that gets divorced after 20 years should voluntarily take herself off the market and go to choir practice or play bingo.

     Good day to everyone.
145. 

     Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 24 August 2009:

     Dear ezrhino2001

     Your right man. Many black women think all they have to bring is their “vagina” to the relationship and everything is ok. Some with rather large vaginas ( I won’t name names).

     Black women never come out and say “pay my bills”. It is a long elaborate story about how “hard up” they are. That is why so many men spank their loose booty and leave them. You never approach a man from a position of weakness. The sharks will come out.

     Actually many black women do it to themselves. They preach about being “independent” and ” I am strong black woman”. Then you see them “riding the bus” with a frown of their face. I just drive by and wave at them.

     Even worse the black women that got a man and sleeping “with other men”. Yea they got a good man at home and got their legs up in the air for thugs and low budget unsigned rappers.

     Man if they come on this board saying I am lying. They ass sleeping with one of them right now!

     Oh another thing, black women saying they don’t mess with men in their “town” or “state”. Man, black men got “radar”. We know a slut when we see one. You cannot hide. I don’t care if you went to Alaska.

     I am gone.
146. 

     Comment by godiva61 on 28 August 2009:

     Today has been a very long and overly emotional day for me, but I’m still blessed to be here…

     I couldn’t let this day go by without “HONORING” a very special young man, he is no longer with us and had he been allowed to live to see this day, and be treated with dignity and respect, he would have been celebrating his 68th birthday…

     Rest In Peace, Emmett Till, you paid the ultimate price, and your mother went to her grave, never to have justice served to those who took your life at the tender age of 14 yrs old..

     love
     godiva
147. 

     Comment by godiva61 on 28 August 2009:

     Correction,

     Emmett Till was murdered on this day, my apology…

     Emmett Louis “Bobo” Till, July 25, 1941- August 28,1955

     love
     godiva
148. 

     Comment by 85kguy on 29 August 2009:

     Nowadays Mississippi relationships are different. They migrate to Texas cities all the time and there are a lot of interracial couples of both types between black and white.
149. 

     Comment by world citizen on 29 August 2009:

     Dear 85kguy,

     your observation is correct. My beautiful bi-cultural, ‘bi-racial’ daughter moved to Dallas from Munich, Germany, recently. All her mails describe a good number of BW couples and very, very polite and kind Texans of any shade. Which I also experienced during my vacation there.

     My children did not grow up, surrounded by prejudice. My son in Miami Beach told me, neither he is aware of prejudice. He thinks, perhaps he and his sister do not recognize it, because they do not know how to look for it.
     Is this IGNORANCE - or a great advantage, not to carry this load on their shoulders? We think it is the latter, and it proves how much impact the past has on all of us!

     As a result, they are open to any form of intercultural relationship, as long as their values are met.
150. 

     Comment by 85kguy on 29 August 2009:

     I could go to Romania and not experience prejudice. However, the indigenous Romana/Gypsie peoples experience it every day.

     Gypsies were euro slaves in their ancestry. Madonna spoke out on their behalf and was booed by most in the crowd at a concert with 60000 Romanians.

     Being from “somewhere else” helps, especially when you are young and providing companionship (and sex) to the community pool.

     Economic control and impact are different. On jobs and in politics. Large pools of hispanics/mexicans provide a scare as do large pools of blacks here.

     Asians own their own shops a lot of times as do peoples from India and Pakistan. Anyone who does not must assimilate. Large pools tend to have their own culture and marry their own more often.

     We are fragmented. That is why even Obama is having trouble getting acceptance for Universal Healthcare. Something that people who act like one people in other countries already have.

     Police deaths always seem to involve blacks.

     These black women who are educated are assimilating. Some are very young and predominately the attractive and educated among black women. They can provide some beauty to the assimilation.

     Communities run by black men are poor communities. Locked out for decades by white banks. The black business districts were chosen for destruction when our current highway system was built over 50 years ago. It left a lot of black communities devastated and without their economic base.

     Now a lot of blacks must scurry to assimilate. They move farther and farther from a black community concentration. Lots are too young to know the past. All they know is assimilation.

     Bi-Racial children carry characteristics that have made them attractive. Especially if they look attractive.

     One of the most attractive slave women was named Sally Hemmings. She was the slave of Thomas Jefferson (and his concubine)in the 18th century. He was a wealthy slaveowner who became our second president.

     In a way she assimilated. Yet slavery was all around and did not impact her in her day for the most part.

     With the economic control so low for blacks and bi-racials in the industrialized world I am afraid that your children may just feel that prejudice one day.

     Let’s hope not. I know it all too well. All you have to do is align yourself with the local indigenous black community and it will greet you every day.

     Ask some of the whites here who love local blacks. They experience looks, stares, and even comments that are very disturbing for them.

     It is also a patchwork. Some regions are more progressive and others more threatening.
151. 

     Comment by godiva61 on 29 August 2009:

     85kguy,

     Thank you for your insight and candid observation’s.

     However, I do have one question for you, if the state of Mississippi black and white relationship’s have changed, for the better, then why the need for the citizen’s to “migrate” to Texas???? The relationship’s may have improved somewhat over the year’s, but obviously not enough…

     My grandmother, who by the way lived to be 105yrs old, was alway’s asked by many, “why do you go out your way to be so nice to people”? Her answer would alway’s be, “I’ve already had a taste of the heat and evil of hell, I lived in Mississippi and I don’t want to spend an eternity in another Mississippi”!!!!!!!!

     From 1870-1970 some 900 African Americans were lynched and murdered in good ole Mississippi, including Emmett Till, Rev. George Washington Lee and Medgar Evers. That’s almost 100 familes, and future generations, per year, for a hundred years.

     Cleve McDowell was the first black to enter Ole Miss, school of Law in 1963, unfortunately for him he had to “migrate” to Texas to finish Law School. Eventually he was murdered in 1997 because he “migrated” back to Mississippi to be a part of a group of black leader’s who were organizing and pressuring the District Attorney’s Office to reopen cases that were never prosecuted, cases in which blacks were killed for doing civil right’s work..

     In 2007 Charleston Mississippi had it’s first ever integrated Prom for the High School Students, this only happened because Morgan Freeman, the actor, intervened and paid for the entire prom. Even still, there was such an opposition from white parent’s that they held a seperate prom for white student’s only, this was just 2yrs ago..

     Last but not least, I feel I should explain why I alway’s remember Emmett Till… His story has alway’s fascinated me and haunted me as well… I was not alive when he was murdered but it was one of the first stories that I ever heard about and I have been somewhat obssessed with it ever since.
     Also when I hear and read the comment’s that are sometime’s posted here on this site that are inflammatory, offensive to black men, I see it as a slap in the face and another injustice to Emmett Till and for all the black men who were lynched and murdered, and of course all black men in general…

     When I hear the remark’s that are in the same tone toward black women on this site, I automatically think of Mamie Till, Emmett’s mom, my mom, my grandmother and all the black women that preceded us and who paid with their lives… What’s really disturbing to me is the one’s who have this type of mentality and irresponsible vocabulary, TOO many of them do not know that Emmett Till even existed!! And if you think about it, Emmett’s life, his early death, his destiny, is why you(men) are priviledged enough to date/ marry a white woman and not be physically murdered for your choice.. One of the many reasons given for Emmett’s untimely demise, was supposedly because he “whistled” and/or “looked” this white woman straight in the eye, and for that his life was cut short….

     love
     godiva
152. 

     Comment by 85kguy on 29 August 2009:

     Remember my final sentence:

     “It is also a patchwork. Some regions are more progressive and others more threatening.”

     People from Mississippi, Oklahoma, Arkansas, and Louisiana come to Dallas and Houston, Texas. They come for jobs. It is not all, but there are large presences drawn the Houston, TX area and the Dallas, TX area as well. That is people of all races, creeds, and colors. Lots graduate from their area colleges and get recruited while others come for opportunities to work more blue collor non-degreed work.

     Dallas-Ft Worth is the 4 or 5th largest metro area in the country, such an area with opportunity is also a growth area over the last 20 years.

     Local blacks here traditionally are “South Side” and all development and opportunity is “North Side”.

     The Univ of Texas at Dallas is not in Dallas, TX. It is in Richardson, TX. Far north (far opposite black area) side.

     Raytheon, Cisco, Ericsson, TX Instruments, and any other company of note is located Far, Far, Far, Far North Side. Leads to a great lack of exposure for young blacks to professional role models here.

     These would be indigenous Dallas blacks. Dallas, TX is just getting its first public law school inside the city limits. Yet, its tax base is the greatest economic power for hundreds of miles around.

     These things came as a result of American “White Flight” in Dallas. When blacks became more a part of equality in this region. The American banks constantly went under trying to finance the economic genocide of black communities like Dallas, TX southside by moving development away from the center where they could get access and exposure. over 600000 people now live far north side. A place where there were only trees and coyotes a few decades ago.

     When you look at Dallas, TX and see a map. You see a tangle of loops that come together. We call it the mix master. Thats where the local black business district used to be.

     On a positive note, I learned all this in school here in Dallas, TX. I am “90s” a migrant from the Hampton Roads area of Virginia.

     Maybe you all can understand that regions past control your future. Why some are opposed to dating and others are not. How they feel it is treason and others feel it is progress.

     I came to the website for the Africans. They are free of the past but not a betrayal to what happened to the local black side of Dallas, TX.
     \
     Yes, World Citizen, your child/daughter in Dallas, TX will be ignorant to things i am afraid.

     Lets all get back to DATING. Lets have a party, not a funeral!!!
153. 

     Comment by world citizen on 29 August 2009:

     Dear 85kguy, thank you for the many informative facts, which were necessary for me to get a bit more educated, regarding the Dallas situation.
     My daughter is a stubborn woman, who wants to find out what’s happening on her own. I admire and respect her for doing so - she has always been that way and so far it worked for her.
     The question is - is it not an advantage to be ignorant to things which are ridiculous and may not affect you after all?
     I enjoy reading your comments and think, including the very sensitive and educational comments written by godiva61, this blog has risen to higher levels!
     Enjoy the last few Autumn days - best wishes!
154. 

     Comment by 85kguy on 29 August 2009:

     Hey World Citizen (From Germany),

     Quiz for you:
     Famous black restaurant in Dallas,TX ends in the word Brown. Has 3 words. What is the name of this famous Dallas black restaurant?

     What I am demonstrating:

     1. How many times did you and your daughter visit what is Southside Dallas?

     2. Does she live Southside? Work Southside? Does she have eyes and ears for southside? Friends in soutside dallas?

     Conclusion:
     Here in Dallas her success may rely on doing things Germans did to the Jews when they were being rounded up decades ago. Ignoring them and their plight.

     Don’t answer, just process it!

     You saw far north dallas and the northern surrounding suburbs. That is it. Maybe some downtown tourism and thats it.

     Oh well, maybe next visit (lol).
155. 

     Comment by 85kguy on 29 August 2009:

     Hello Godiva61,

     Without an understanding of your region by name I cannot really give the correct slant on portraying one US region experience to another US region too easily.

     **Answering you**:
     I have seen black with white Mississippi couples come here as well as others for jobs. Most are black women with white men. They are very young men and women.

     **Another story**:
     I had to take government college studies here in TX since I am from Virginia. A beautiful, tan, busty readhead girl named Kim was from Mississippi. She wanted to date me!! I studied and sat behind her in two classes.

     I was already living with a Dallas black girl who was 10 years younger than me. So I told her I couldn’t date, aid I was spoken for.

     A few years later she saw me at the local mall. She ran up a hugged me. She was with her mother at the mall and I met her.

     She was from Mississippi!! True story that I swear on just as sure as I am probably darker than you (lol)!

     Hey Godiva61 Baby! Your writing style is “sweeter than a paycheck”!!

     LMAO, back to dating and chasing LMAO!!!
156. 

     Comment by world citizen on 30 August 2009:

     Dear 85kguy, you are correct again.
     She does live in a lovely northern Dallas community - temporarily - with friends, who are an educated, openhearted, well to do BW family, partly from Kentucky. They took us site seeing, while I was there, including the southern part of Dallas. We saw what we already knew from any other city in the U.S., except the ones which Blacks seem not allowed in. There are such in any part of the country.
     IT IS A SHAME. However, I personally have not met any Black person who is reaching a higher social level, wanting to stay in such an area. President Obama receives all my respect for not having turned his back on Blacks during any time of his life, especially when he was reaching a high social level.
     By the way, neither my children or I are German. But what would be wrong with that? She happened to live in Munich, perhaps the greatest place in Germany - endless recreational possibilities and beautiful nature. Germans can be wonderful people and the new generation does not take responsibility for what was done by Hitler, although they are aware, it must never be forgotten and repeated in history. There are so many other nations, who carry a similar burden, many even having killed their own people. Any continent you look at shows this aggression in the human race, including several countries in Black Africa. It is happening this very moment.
     Take Heidi Klum, a beautiful open minded German and Seal, a Black Brit, they make wonderful babies, have a great life and I am sure they are not at each other’s throat about who did what to Blacks or Jews.
     To change the subject -
     The hilly landscape and many lakes, north of Dallas, were quite a surprise to us, and I repeat the many kind and friendly people of ANY SHADE.

     I wish you and all others a fresh start into lovely September.
157. 

     Comment by world citizen on 30 August 2009:

     85kguy, - Oh, and we do not like to eat in restaurants, as there are so very few reliably good ones.
     We prefer freshly cooked mediterranean style cuisine with the best ingredients
     we can find, prepared at home.
     When the weather gets a little chilly, we also prepare the best soul food - at home. We enjoy wine with our meals and it is also an advantage, not having to go home in a car, after a great dinner.
     Maybe you’ll run across my lovely daughter - she can not be overlooked. She may invite you to an unforgettable dinner party with her multi-culty friends.
158. 

     Comment by 85kguy on 30 August 2009:

     IT IS A SHAME. However, I personally have not met any Black person who is reaching a higher social level, wanting to stay in such an area.

     Tatted!!! Ich!!! Aza!!! Queens!!!

     If I turn my back on S. Dallas I may get a higher social level!!!

     Tatted!!!

     I’m gonna just give out the olive branch now and take a break.

     Frisco,TX is far, far, far, far, N. Dallas and would be nice for your daughter World Citizen.

     You have a blessed and wonderful day.
159. 

     Comment by world citizen on 30 August 2009:

     Dearest 85kguy, I did have a ‘wonderful’ day in a small ancient town in Hungary. The only problem was, I once again saw some poor Gypsies, who are not wanted in this town, which did give this day a bitter taste. Gypsies are haunted in Romania, Hungary and especially Slovakia. A famous Hungarian, nominated for a Nobel Peace Price, made it very clear. Gypsies should not be forced into integration, rather they should be tolerated and respected for their values and a different life style, which they should be entitled to. I fully agree.
     Today I was told by a Hungarian, that his relatives in the country side are bothered by Gypsies, who come in the middle of the night, stealing their potatoes out of the soil. This shows how poor they actually are.
     Luckily people do not carry guns in this country, otherwise there would be terrible blood shed.
     I think it was necessary for the world crises to happen - maybe some people start being aware of the imbalance - at least for a few decades, as things will never change for the good forever. I apologize, for having a good life!

     85kguy, I may get on your nerves for being so ignorant, I already got on some one else’s nerves who sent me off to a nursing home.
     I understand your impatience with the UNFAIRNESS in this white world, but as I said before, your time will come.
     I apologize for having gotten off the SUBJECT ON THIS BLOG and repeat:
     You warm hearted, open minded Black women and men deserve to find a perfect match, regardless of color, to give you the happiness and satisfaction you deserve.
     Love and Peace!
160. 

     Comment by 85kguy on 30 August 2009:

     Me and my team telework. We have no office. We may show up in Hungary and visit you at the nursing home!!

     They need overseas connections with people.

     Some of the crew may be interested in meeting some Eastern Euro young women brides.
161. 

     Comment by world citizen on 31 August 2009:

     Dearest 85kguy,

     Unfortunately I already left Hungary, so you will not reach me there. As my nick name shows, I happen to be a WORLD CITIZEN.
     Presently I am looking at mass graves in Bosnia - excavated just recently.
     This reminds us, ‘humans’ have yet not learned.

     Please take a new breath and try to understand that I am not here to hurt anyones feelings, especially not the wounded souls of Black people.
     English, being my second language, may be more complex than I thought, as what I say is not twisted and manipulated for the first time.

     I have full compassion with Blacks. I do not dare claim to be able to walk in their shoes, never will I be able to!!! With all the knowledge and compassion, lets not forget that there is and has been WHITE TRASH. Which shows, it takes more than ‘just to be white’, to make it in life.

     One thing I can do - show my honest, warm feelings. There have been plenty of people who were open enough to receive them.
     You appear to be an educated, handsome man, who has a somewhat bitter smile on his image. I am convinced, if we met and faced each other, your positive attitude would come to the surface, and you would start relaxing.

     Certainly the harm which was done to U.S. and other countries’ Blacks can not be emphasized enough. Nevertheless, this is probably not the best place for it, if you are really serious about finding a nice girl. Portraying yourself as positive, will attract more women. If you actually consider interracial dating, there are some decent, stunningly beautiful Eastern European and German women I could introduce you to. On the other hand, why reach out so far, if these blogs are crowded with highly educated, warm hearted, mind blowing beautiful BLACK WOMEN and some of less color.
162. 

     Comment by 85kguy on 31 August 2009:

     I can explain that easily!!

     1. Not all professionals are limited to one locale anymore. Teleworking is here at many companies. I am and my colleagues are full time teleworkers. We work with world-wide counterparts who also used to be limited to a desk job.

     2. Men and women have tried here and wind up like the blog (friend/enemies). Most are not from the region where they worked and built up their careers. It is a great disadvantage in acceptance of what is available and requires unsatisfactory compromising for most all men and women here.

     3) Regional assimilation is about more than a layer of race, even when you are of that exact local race.
     Your worldly daughter may (I say may) have assimilation compromise problems in relationships in narrow-minded Texas. I have seen women and men from Chicago go single forever here.

     4)People are not satisfied with “dating”. They want to move beyond that stage with some decent measure of haste. That is just not in front of any of the people here on this website and part of why they are here.

     5)People here are part of a stream that pushes them with a strong current toward opportunities here that take them to either other regions of their home area or other regions of the nation altogether.

     The farther your career goes the less compatible you are with the locale of your level of success.

     The goal is to get out of the stream and into stability and personal fulfillment and happiness.
     As a black or a white here it is about not accepting the compromises that our economic life puts on our personal life.

     Your son and daughter may be both in the USA. But Miami and North Texas are two totally different regions, influences, and peoples. Even the spanish population in each area is not the same culture. One is predominately Mexican and the other is predominately Cuban.

     For all here. The local options are unsatisfactory compromise for the most part. That is part of why they are using this medium in the first place.
163. 

     Comment by TYRANT on 11 September 2009:

     @ ichibod

     Tell it to Oprah. Maybe you should have read more, a lot more before you posted your runny discharge of a comment. The topic is valid. The comments have been valid. You are just dying for the attention that your dad evidently didn’t give you, which is evident by attempting to sound angry at a topic that you obviously don’t understand. The people who stated that this wasn’t an issue, are talking about interracial dating in general and not the topic at hand. Trust me. I’ve read all of these post and have been apart of it since the beginning. Learn some history about your race and what we have been through, sista girl. It has nothing to do with living in the past, it’s about correcting our present for a brighter future in sptie of our past. And all those, “a person should love who they want”, “Love has no color”, and “we all bleed red blood” comments have no place in a blog about the rift between black men and black women.
     As I said on April:
     “…these topics are getting very old. Many of them start with some white person’s opinon, then some black women’s beef with that white person’s opinion. Followed by the typical lame , “Love has no color, we are all the same”, comment. After a little of that garbage, more crap that has nothing to do with the topic, then a black man comes to the white person defense, and maybe a counterattack from a guy who just wants his flirt to ‘beef’ chick accepted, and then the heat is on and you never see another comment from a white person for the rest of the blog. Just back a forth, black men and women not getting along in a blog asking why black men and women don’t along.” I called this out long ago and what have you seen?
     “Why must someone put down another to justify their actions, I have no idea.”
     You sure don’t. That’s exactly what we are here to discuss.

     TYRANT: You are so right, this issue NEEDS to be discussed because not only has this problem exist, it’s evolved into a PLAGUE that’s infecting a lot of black women and men. People can say that it has no place on an interracial site, but that’s simply NOT true. Sadly, a lot of the IR relationships are fueled by either black women who hate black men or black men who hate black women.

     Don’t take my word for it, all you have to do is visit any message board that deals with the subject of interracial dating and you’ll see black men and women slugging it out with GUSTO. What sickens me to no end is the fact that both sides consider it a badge of HONOR to not only bash each other, but degrade and demean the very features that make us black and beautiful. I’m so DISGUSTED with the saying “Love has no color” that if I hear it one more time I’m going to go on a shooting spree. Love may not have a color but preference does.

     I don’t care how interested I am in dating women of other races I can’t see myself fixing my mouth to bash, demean, and degrade the BEAUTY, STRENGTH, INTELLIGENCE, and POWER of black women. Why? Because not only would I be insulting my mother, who’s a strong black woman, but I’d be displaying my STUPIDITY for all the world to see.
164. 

     Comment by julius26 on 11 September 2009:

     Right on tyrant To many people in IR relationship say love is colour blind but it is not because you has chosen one race over another so love cant be colour blind. There is nothing wrong in having a preference but black people must stop slagging each off to justify their preference.
165. 

     Comment by Azrazyel on 11 September 2009:

     Finally, someone who makes sense in here.

     I found your words very encouraging tyrant, and I commend you for speaking the truth with honesty. It IS sad, I’ve said before it IS sad to see blacks pinning each other in a choke hold to get their points across.

     I don’t really know the ‘true’ intent of everyone in here, but I am glad to see that you would never bash a black woman. I wouldn’t do it no matter how many bad relationships/experiences with white women I may have experienced. That would be preschool behavior for me to do, and summing all the comments in this ‘entire’ blog of the ignorant, you stand out to me, personally, as someone genuine.

     I have made some ignorant comments before, but I always come back to apologize and admit the childishness in me at times. I apologize for the things I have said before, but because I realize how stupid and asinine I sound. Sometimes we all get heated in the moment and say things we don’t mean. I wouldn’t apologize if I ‘really’ meant some of the degrading and preschool comments I have made.

     Unfortunately, this entire blog has comments forever entwined with NO apologies.

     And the beckoning of engagement breathes unrest.
166. 

     Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 11 September 2009:

     Let me interject here

     Seems like people here like “dancing around the real issue”. I am on the clear extreme concerning the traitor ways concerning black women. I make no apologies for it. They can date white men but they rather run their mouth about “how black men treat them”. I repeat, we don’t focus on what black women are doing until they “mention black men in a negative way”. Oh yea, their delusional lies bother me too. How the white man is going to rescue them from a “mixed income neighborhood” to meet their white parents. The story is always positive of course. One black girl told me her white boyfriend’s grandfather gave her his WW 2 Medal of honors. I asked her “what you did with it”. She said ” Oh I lost it” but Billy understands.

     Man you lose my grandfather’s war medals. You would got a can of whoop ass on the spot. I would say bitch go find it, I don’t care how long it takes!

     I don’t see white women do this shit to white men on such a large scale. Let me touch on another thing. This is what pisses me off. They keep saying their a “shortage of good black men”. Like they know what “good” is. If they knew what a good man was they wouldn’t get the backlash they are getting.

     There is a shortage of good black women. Take away the obese delusional black women, the “career students” that complain there is no good men after they had their noses in their college books up until 35 years old. I am happy you got your degree but stop it. You wasn’t focus on no man until you got desperate. Then you got the “single mother” black women. They want you to be a step daddy to their “bad ass” children.

     You ever seen a white man with a black women with “bad ass children”. I do hear black women with their manicures talking about ” Billy took me on with my kids”. I have yet to see evidence of this.

     If black men are fed up with them. How long will it take white men to see the “light” on them.

     My final thing with white men dating black women. Get a backbone, stop letting them walk over you. Yea it ok to say “stop yakking to your nappy headed friends all the time”. You don’t even got to be politically correct. You don’t say “Uh honey can you make some dinner”.

     You say “your ass been here for how many hours”, I come home from work and you ain’t make dinner. That way you cut out her excuses when she says ” I ain’t a maid”. Man you ain’t maid but I could have been single and HIRED A MAID!

     I plan to finish up my manuscript. “The Guide for Black and White men to understand black women”.

     Oh yea, I did a post on this Black woman Author. She wrote an article called “MEMO TO BLACK MEN: GROW UP.

     I was livid ya dig. She admits she is 40 years old and dated a white man (never worked out) and rambles on about “unity with black men and women”.

     You want unity but you want black men to GROW UP!

     http://www.mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/

     I am gone.
167. 

     Comment by Azrazyel on 11 September 2009:

     Queens:

     Let me know when your manuscript is complete. I want to check it out.

     Thanks and peace
168. 

     Comment by tatted2death on 13 September 2009:

     more of the same…..the blind leading the clueless……LOVELY.
169. 

     Comment by Ichibod on 15 September 2009:

     Thanks, Tyrant.

     I was laughing so hard after I type “Tell it to Oprah.” It was kind of wrong. She didn’t say anything that bad. I really just started picking on her for no good reason. Shame on me. Pretty funny exchange back then.
170. 

     Comment by Reality on 30 September 2009:

     Love concurs all. Can’t you see what’s happening here folks. As I read all the post its the same old thing—BLACK vs WHITE. I’m so sick of it, so the antidote is interracial relationships. Can the white/black race survive this? Probably not. Soon the Elimination of both races that were once and still are taunted with hatred, inhumane treatment, an unrectifiable history, self hatred, and taught bad habits , will generate a new beginning and just maybe we can all get along! History has tarnish the Black Man and Black Woman. It has broke down our men, taken away their pride, stepped on their dignity. It has and still is beating our Black men down. It has taught our men how to escape, and our women to survive without. Some stay strong and take the beating in order to persevere; others punk out and give up. So How can two elements (when put together) like this survive the pressures that are thrown at them daily, each strong in his/her own character. Yes, we have a few that did weather the storm and we (as a race with the spirit of unity) almost made it but a new generation has weakened all of our efforts and accomplishments and we are back to where we started from. I’m not saying the answer is to run to the nearest white man or white women but only to let love prevail where ever and if its with your own race I commend you for you are definitely a unique entity and that is what the Black Family is a rarity. Its sad to say (because we look so good together) but life goes on,and change can be good. I being a Black mother love to hear “I can’t see myself fixing my mouth to bash, demean, and degrade the BEAUTY, STRENGTH, INTELLIGENCE, and POWER of black women Because I would be insulting my mother, who’s a strong black woman.” It fills my heart. Just remember you are not insulting your mother or any other Black Woman if you choose the other culture or race as long as you keep the respect and in the practice of respecting one will not bash, demean, or degrade. Also stay true to yourself. So in answer to the original question when did this frenemity between black men and women actually begin? How are we to explain these heightened levels of tension and conflict between them? What could be the root cause of this turbulence? ANSWER: History is the disease, love is the formula and interracial relationships are the results. Testing is in process!!!
171. 

     Comment by triccinicci on 7 October 2009:

     I have an interview in the morning and should have my behind in the bed, but I just had to weigh in on this conversation…I’ve seen it a few times and didn’t want to get into it. Mostly for the same reasons I, being from the Southwest don’t want to visit the homelands of my father’s people in the deep South. I just can’t take the pressure of all the channeled energy there.

     When I was a little girl, my parents taught us about the world by taking us into it. We traveled a great deal. When relegated to home, my father would bring us many gifts from the Far East upon his return. Beautiful Asian dolls, gold bracelets and jade chopsticks with hand crafted inscriptions in gold were just a few.

     When we lived in Europe my parents would ensure we visited different cities and gained exposure to the sights, sounds and experiences afforded us. We visited the castles and markets, had much discovery and loved the freer, non-American lifestyle. Mom would take my youngest sisters to the zoo with friends or join us for a field trip through purest of snow by train, whose carpet was stained the color of pomegranate red. We’d visit some special place like Kriss Kringle Mart in The Black Forest. There were days the tailor would come to outfit the older girls or a shopping trip would be arranged for the purchase of school clothes.

     My parents were very popular because everyone knew both my father and mother would help anyone and everyone. No matter their color, creed, nationality, religion, race…No matter their station in life. My parents hosted many beautiful parties on the weekends. My mother, in the prettiest and latest styles, was the most gracious and exquisite hostess.

     My sisters and I would sneak down the stairs to listen to the adults telling their tall tails of wonder…the music and laughter trailing up to where we huddled trying to be unseen, but yearning to be close to the evening’s soire. At these gatherings every color and nationality would be seen, both mixed and unmixed, but all in acceptance. Sometimes formal, sometimes informal, but the best music of our generation, my mother’s wonderful world class cuisine invitingly offered with my father’s deep knowledge of the finest spirits…all made an inviting evening any intelligent person would want to be in the company of.

     My parents did not spend their time deriding us or hiding us from the world. They taught us how to live in the world. How to have kindness, dignity, hope and to not be of the world but above it.

     And though we had a blessed life, my parents balanced it out for us. With a measure of discipline most American’s would rebel at (not to say we did not, we had our moments), but it almost went without saying, “To whom much is given, much is expected”. They never forgot our birthdays (Though every year I grew, I was convinced they would), holidays for sure, and how to give abundant love. They were not perfect and made mistakes too.

     But, of all of this - the clothes, travel, rewards, languages, gifts, toys, lavishings undaunted - in all of this. The greatest thing my parents ever did for us was to teach us our history. To tell us who we were and where we came from. That has now become who we are and where we are going.

     My father had a thing for learning and of course my mother as well. He would make competitions to motivate us to learn. Yes, he would pay us, but it worked.

     “Funfzig Mark zur ersten person, die erlent, fließendes Deutsche sprechen.”

     Translated:

     “$50 Marks (German monetary bill) to the first person who learns to speak fluent German.”

     The competition was on. My twin won. I just learned. Deals were made, the spoil divided (that meant we went to the baker and the candy maker and had aching bellies later). That’s the way it was.

     You see, with our history learned we were free to explore and widen the depth and base of what knowledge we had been given. We weren’t made to constantly encounter the one specific thing about ourselves that anyone else could know or see as though that were our specialty and all we consisted of and all we were ever to know or be allowed to know. No, it was far greater.

     Our parents started with an oral history. Always teaching us where Eygypt was therefor insuring our minds could not be poisoned by Western Civilization’s textbook lies. In fact in high school my sister and I had to teach the African portion of WORLD HISTORY to the entire class because our very handsome, very educated, married-to-a-Caucasian-woman World History teacher did not know this.

     Of course, he, like many, had learned his history from school books and an entire educational system which denied, replaced or refuted any contribution to mankind as a whole by people of Black African ancestry. He nor his wife, who she and many others as well, had been brainwashed into believing greatness WAS in Eygypt, therefor Egypt must not be in the tainted environs of Africa (The WHAT?) - The Dark Continent.

     We struggle because many of us have forgotten, others have never been taught the very essence of our CONTRIBUTION. There really is no argument amongst the African American woman and man. What we have is the strange chemical reaction when you take one element of the human genome and try to make it fit the repository for a being who has no hereditary standing, historical place or value in humanity (As in contribution because contribution is an element of actual survival. From then till now, every degree of the human race must contribute or mankind would not continue).

     By placating us with lies designed in Europe’s Dark Ages many deceits have been spun. Those deceits need to be undone by our choosing. They must be undone through the Diversity of Love not the Adversity of Hate.

     We all know the story, we just forgot the specifics. By telling us our women are loudmouthed and forceful, when in truth they have been raped and denigrated. By telling us that women in our culture hated her own seed into humiliation and spiritual castration, when her love was manipulated away from him and forced into a darkened cave. By telling us our children are unaccepted, unenviably stupid, so the silver thread is cut early and those children now suffice as coal to drive the engines of the prisons and NOT the universities. By manipulatively cautioning the African American man and woman into enemy stances we often gladly accept because the lie is easier than the Truth.

     Can anyone tell me the benefit of hate to humanity? Just one. Even those who engineered this cannot stand on the conceived notion that hate works. Besides that hate is an economic tool devised to drive markets. Because people are not microchip computers (yet, teehee) when hope dies not only Black will disappear but so will NON-Black (When drugs were introduced by the CIA to destroy the prosperity beginning to show in the inner cities, they eventually crept into the NON-intercity. FACT! The CIA has since apologized)!

     What we can do is ask ourselves, each of us, where did we come from, where are we going? You began in a beautiful place before the dawn of what is called civilization. As a genetic group, Africans know more science and language, developed more systems and sequences than any other beings on the planet.

     Can I share a secret? One of the reasons we accomplished so much is because we, from long ago, have always been many shades, dialects, cultures, knowledges, diversities and ethnic strands to begin with. We weren’t interracial, we were INTRAracial.

     ___________________________

     Now some of you have run into me and several of us tend to disagree, but before we tear each other down, can’t we just find some common ground?

     If you could remember what I can see, long days before we were you and me, if time could turn its hand again and we returned where we used to stand.

     You would know how God loved us so, enfolding us in then telling us to go, we were to share with all what Love we knew and when we did this world grew.

     Brother and Sisters don’t forget we are the Masters of All, The World in our hands before our Great Fall, there is farther to go and farthest yet before the Glory of Old reaches its pinnacle yet.

     You see if we let go now our glue will be undone, then what’s to be of the Love we have sunned to all the people the world over our Light has shined, the history reveals that Light is Divine.

     It is a weight we’ve carried sometimes upon our back, but to much is given the blessing’s return far richer than that, the pain we felt disdain and more but no man puts asunder the Greatness stored.

     So smile greatly even let the reason be small for the Gift you carry lets the WHOLE WORLD walk tall. It is so clear who was here first and we shall not finish last but the treasure and mystery lies within for you to grasp.

     Abide in this - Hope - and learn to Love - All - never forsake the knowledge of who you are, Stardust and light, reflections of the past, Love for humanity illuminates the Risen Star at last!

     ~H. Elocin Nomael

     _______________________
172. 

     Comment by Ichibod on 7 October 2009:

     “if its with your own race I commend you for you are definitely a unique entity and that is what the Black Family is a rarity. Its sad to say (because we look so good together)”

     Finally, another comment about how black men and black women are still best friends. I thought I was going to be the only one. Great post, Reality!

     It just so weird to me how, with all the negative comments being throw around amongst black men and black women in other threads, this should be the place to do it… if anywhere. Yet this has fewer posts than the others. As long as it had been going on, this topic came around as sort of a metting room for us, but not many came. They all chose “Why some Black women only date White Men”, Why white men love the black woman”, and “Black women have no option” to express their grievances. Then many got offended because the topic “White men are least attracted to Black women” comes up and brings all of the proposed solutions the problems raised in the afore mentioned topics to question. I must agree with a previous blogger when she said:

     “…should have my behind in the bed”

     HA! Okay, knock it of Ichibod. I’m going to work.

     Have a great day everyone!
173. 

     Comment by triccinicci on 7 October 2009:

     I forgot to mention the title of the poem is “Risen Star”.

     As well, I want to take a moment to thank each and all for the blessing of being counted amongst you. I especially want to send Love to:

     My Black Sisters for being, yes, Strong in the face of adversity. Walk Tall Sisters, the time is at hand. There is a great example who the world is watching. She has found favor in the eyes of the world and illuminates us in her comings and goings.

     My Black Brothers for being one of the first to walk beyond Hate into the Arms of Love at a time when you felt none recognized your still great appetite to love and nurture. Thank you for having the desire to mend the path home to see your BEAUTIFUL and WISE Mother and DESIROUS, ENRICHED, LOVING, DEDICATED, SUPPORTIVE, EDUCATED, WORDLY, HUMBLE and INTELLECTUAL Sister. She is your helper and uplifter. She is your conscience and guide loving you through the destruction of the maze.

     My NON-Black Sisters for recognizing our beauty and for permitting us to recognize yours. Many of you do exceptional jobs loving the children from the fathers of our cultural heritage. Keep loving them so as they grow they can build Love within themselves and share it with the world.

     Finally, My NON-Black Brothers, especially those of you from the Caucasus Mountains (Trivia: *Who knew there were people of Color in the Caucasus Mountains centuries ago?) who stand today not in fault or need to pay the debt of your forefathers. Nevertheless we owe loyalty to help rebuild anything and all people undeniably torn down. Simply because your forefathers gave you the very tools to HELP build back up. Turn hate into LOVE turning away from the lie and towards the TRUTH. When you see me, Every Woman, walking down the street remember I Am Woman in need of a GOOD Husband, GOOD Son, GOOD Brother, GOOD neighbor and he, my sweet, just might be you.

     Done with my shout outs, lol!

     Now for those of you who enjoy history as much as I, here’s a bit on the Russian Poet Alexander Pushkin. I found this on a website one day and thought it’d be great to place on here. I think this thread could use a little ‘historical perspective’. I hope you agree.

     Note: The Ibrahim mentioned in the second paragraph below is Ibrahim Petrovich Gannibal, The Blackamoor of Peter the Great. He is also the great-grandfather of the infamous poet Alexander Pushkin.

     The quote is a female member of his family or a closely knit tie to his family. Her insight shared proves that many concerns are ages old and adversity will probably never win but diversity is deliverance:

     “‘….he (Peter [read, Pushkin, the poet) wished to make examples of them and put (Russians) to shame by convincing them that out of every people and even from among wild men - such as Negores, whom our civilized nations assign exclusively to the class of slave, there can be formed men who by dint of application can obtain knowledge and learning and thus become helpful to their monarch.’

     To a divine rights monarch like Peter whose relationship to a nation of serfs was entirely paternalistic, a child as a personal gift or possession could only be regarded as one of his own kith and kin. Indeed, at the eight-year old Ibrahim’s baptism, the Emperor himself was his godfather, while his godmother was the Queen of Poland.”

     And finally on the * point above, from research I did earlier this year and the astute and recorded research in the quote beneath, proof positive:

     “Interestingly enough, the Gannibal was not the first black noble family of Russia. Because the name itself, “abach” means Abysissinian, the princely house of the Abachidze has long been known to be Ethiopian in origin. With the rise of Paata to political prominence in the early 17th century, they intermarried with and became lineal ancestors of the royal houses of Imerithia and Georgia of the Caucuses.” Georgia is the region in which the Caucasus are located in Russia.
174. 

     Comment by triccinicci on 7 October 2009:

     Hello Tim,

     My name is Nicole. I did not sleep and my interview begins in 90 minutes.
175. 

     Comment by triccinicci on 8 October 2009:

     Made it through my interview and got the job!!! I’m still going strong with not one wink of sleep as this topic kept me up all night thinking and rethinking. I don’t run into the issues I hear a lot of Men and Women of Color speak of. Several of my sisters and I have dated other than African American men. Others met and married the results of the conviction of their hearts.

     There have been two divorces and one remarriage out of 6 of 8 siblings. The only one giving a clue to anything like based on race is a sister who married an Afro-Canadian. This man’s siblings ALL married interracially with him as the only exception.

     One of his motivations for marraige was her deep and abiding beauty as well as the fact she and he are of the same hue of deep mahogany. They even resemble one another facially. Don’t have details on why they split, but it was after the birth of their one and only child.

     He specifically married my sister because he wanted a child that looked like him. Not physically, but in racial qualifiers. Dunno, but two years later the all abiding love was zilched and he tried very strategically to secure full custody.

     This is just a hunch, but personally I think he will marry long term a Caucasian as this is what the rest of his siblings have done. I think he may be concerned later to have to fit his daughter into the overall family (His sisters married white men and his brothers married white women. All have children. As they are very dark people their children appear to be mixed. So does my niece - long story, tell you another day.) even though both of his parents are born and raised in England and are of African lineage.

     Maybe it was just the American in her as to why my sister and her husban could not reconcile. But it goes without saying not all of us are arguing over race in the most negative sense. Personally, I would never marry someone for their race Black or White.
176. 

     Comment by Ezrhino2001 on 10 October 2009:

     I ,am a mixed raced man so define me as black if you wish , not and issue. What i see here on this interracial site amazes me for the black men putting the sisters down on here . Gentleman what is your purpose for being on this site, I would think that it was to hopefully find and date a woman of a different race! So you are not comfortable enough in your manhood when a sister wants to date a man of a different race , i would say what a prejudiced hypocrite but not strong enough , just plain ingornant little boys !!!! with double standards very un- fair . ladies date who you want and leave these small penis , immature little boys to their own hands. Maybe the other race females you guys seek will be more tolerant of your none masculine B.S.
177. 

     Comment by Ezrhino2001 on 10 October 2009:

     My above email is aimed directly at the brothers putting down blk women for being on this site and no one else , my above blogs still stand as my prospective.
178. 

     Comment by tatted2death on 17 October 2009:

     wow……looks like Mr. EZrhino’s comments might have shut this one down…..LMAO.
179. 

     Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 17 October 2009:

     Hold up half breed homey

     I know that is not directed to me. If it wasn’t for the original black man “like me” you wouldn’t have been born.

     Why don’t you direct your anger to the Judge in Louisiana that told an interracial couple he can’t marry them because he is “afraid of children like you”.

     That is the real enemy.

     I don’t bash black women. I wake up them up with tough love. To many of them are loose booties and you can “tattoo” that on your forehead!

     Have a nice day
180. 

     Comment by tatted2death on 17 October 2009:

     LMAO…..I spoke to soon….

     hiya, l. queens….your less than subtle reference to me was cute…..how have you been???? Still fantasizing about me and my “loose booty”, I see….LMAO.
181. 

     Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 17 October 2009:

     LOL

     Working hard that’s all. I busted up my left knee playing basketball last week.

     LOL Loose booty. Yea I keep an eye on you. It would even better if you could cook Caribbean food.

     Be back going to eat “cream of wheat”. White boys don’t know anything about that.

     What they know about “soul food”. Baked Macrooni and cheese, greens, cornbread and neckbones.

     Oh yea, Jamaican food. Na, they don’t know anything about that.

     I am out
182. 

     Comment by tatted2death on 17 October 2009:

     tsk tsk tsk…..why is all the ignorant crap so dern amusing???….LOL…..sorry, folks….It’s one of my guilty pleasures….you know you enjoy it too….sometimes…LOL.
183. 

     Comment by Ichibod on 17 October 2009:

     Hey, Tats! What’s up?

     I think Ezrhino just wants attention. I’ve read his posts before. While all opinions are welcome, I don’t believe any of his were that insightful.

     ” these small penis , immature little boys to their own hands.”

     Just how old is this guy to talk about a man’s penis and immaturity in the same breath?
184. 

     Comment by TricciNicci on 17 October 2009:

     EZrhino2001,

     OH MY GOOOOOD!!!!! A REAL MAN! I want to scream in celebration! Here’s another feather for some to stick in their hat, did you ever consider that those who are mixed race have a right beyond the basic interpretation of one “race” and another “race” mixing? Is it rediculous for that very couple in Louisiana (wonder why there has been no direct thread speaking of this very NEWSWORTHY topic from James or the other moderator) to even be denied to marry simply based on race? Apparently her now husband is obviously a person of mixed genetics, lol! He is only “black” according to America.

     In other cultures such generations ago of mixed genetics are still called Caucasian. Just ask the Black Irish, Ethiopians, Erittreans, Black Russians and the Spaniards. Oh, I must not forget the Aborigines down under who are direct carriers and descendents of the African Pygmy’s genetic code of the Congo region. Now how original can you get concerning Africans if one’s genetics come directly from the Congo! Still they are racially categorized as White!

     This is what makes me laugh at !ANYONE! who thinks they can put a human under a knife, cut open the skin and call the name of anything else other than HUMAN, LMAO! The same goes for those “purist” who say they’re preserving our what?…According to them they must keep the choke hold on Women of Color lest we run off with whitey, lol! Well too late for my family, we crossed the race barrier generations ago! BY CHOICE!! So I guess that makes me totally removed from purist attacks, lol! My purity strains target Our RIGHT to be HUMAN. I marry, see, do and talk to who I want. I believe the same with body and mind. People’s political agendas create race relativisms. Human hearts want to create a way and means not political diatribes!

     Thanks Bunches EZrhino your encouraging words won’t be forgotten.
185. 

     Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 17 October 2009:

     I never addressed the Louisiana case.

     Apparently, an old white judge felt that if he married an interracial couple it would affect their children. So he denied them the right to get married.

     That is kind of interesting he is so concerned about biracial children. He can always donate to “Feed the children” since he is so concerned about minority children. He can always adopt biracial kids since they are so troubled. This guy is a coward trying to hide behind children. Just say you dislike interracial dating. HOWEVER, do your job without using your personal beliefs to violate a couple’s rights.

     Of course this is against the law. It is more bizarre that he actually thought people agreed with him.

     I may be against interracial dating but I don’t believe in discrimination or “denying anybody” the right to love someone of another race.

     It’s only a big deal because the white women is educated and going for her Master’s degree. If she was white trash, I doubt anybody would care.

     If it was a black woman with a white man, you really would never hear the end of it!

     Good day to everyone
186. 

     Comment by Lisa on 18 October 2009:

     What? I love my black brothers and wish to date one but where I live, it seems the majority of the black men are interested in everyone else but his black sister. It does not matter if a woman is black, white, or mexican. Race will not determine is she is a gold digger. I am stepping out of my race to date but it is not because I want to. I want to be happy and have companionship just like other women. I wish black men and women could come together as one people and just stop hating one another. Love you all.

     Lisa
187. 

     Comment by ezrhino2001 on 20 October 2009:

     Let’s address this one at a time, first of all Mr.Strong Black man. My dad was not black and much better looking, so there goes your ego right there and neither was my Mom .Your Dna could not have produced me.My hair is straight and eye green and no skinny legs here either ladies, chances are you so called strong blk men my penis is bigger than yours, so you have no advantage over me.
     You can be mixed with other races not just blk or white so the thinking is narrow minded.
     Next no attention required on my part no picture here, really not that active here,

     Being mixed race , I know you so called real blk men do not like me anyway , and trust me the feelings pretty much mutual there on my part too.Since you guys are on and interracial site obviously you hope some lady of a different race will date you but you have a problem with the sisters being here, you yourselves have proved my points. Actually i date a blk woman and she apperciates a real man for change, who does not ignore her because her skin is darker.Its apparent what I said was true because you too guys reacted to it . The angry blk man does not scare the mixed race man it never has so you can put that B.S away.

     I,am everything you so called strong blk men hate, i am tall , fit , educated , wealthy handsome, Green eyes and natural straight to wavy red hair, hung like a bull and can go all night and my body is hairy the chest and the legs= no naps and the legs ain’t skinny either and light beige , so really you two guys and any white males on here who do not like my confidence can kiss my beige a____ . I make you grab your woman’s arm when I,am near.I,am The ladies pet, the man’s of any race regret. So who said they somebody like them produced me , think a damn another thought because I look exactly like my Dad who was mostly American Indian and German and my mom is German. So go ahead be jealous because the sisters and the ladies of the other races seem to like /love me. You guys can go back to your ear rings, pink clothing , open toe sandals and leg lotions. One question if you 2 guys have and issue with the sisters dating men of another race, why are you here on this interacial dating site looking for women of other races ???? what weak hypocrites !!!! put that in your damn pipe and smoke it. Sister avoid these to down low guys no manhood there !!!
188. 

     Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 20 October 2009:

     (Picking up my drink)

     ezrhino2001

     Who calls somebody “Mr Strong Black man”? The only thing you will give a black woman is diabetes because you “sound sweet”.

     You claim you are so wealthy but can’t even write a coherent sentence. Listen trust fund baby. Stay off the court with the big boys. I am sure you get your share of black women who like effeminate men like you.

     I have no problem with mixed race men. We all know you try to be like black men. You even call us “Mr Strong Black man”. I happen to like that title.

     Then you started talking tough to white men. Listen half breed black men will personally put you on your ass “fit or not”. Some white boys will give it to you too.

     Then you are telling women to avoid black men and white men.

     Listen go back to looking in the mirror and fixing your hair. Black women and white women do not want a “metro-sexual” trust fund baby.

     I worked hard for everything I have “half breed”.

     Look for that new post “STICK UP BLOG BOYS”.

     Oh yea tell your black girlfriend if she needs a real man she can always call me. OW!

     http://www.mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/
189. 

     Comment by Ichibod on 21 October 2009:

     Like I said before, I think this Ezrhino guy just wants attention. Who is he talking about, “strong black men”? Did someone say that recently or in some previous posts? Who hates him or hates people like him? This guy is delusional. And there he goes again with the penis talk. Why can’t he just grow up.

     “Being mixed race , I know you so called real blk men do not like me anyway , and trust me the feelings pretty much mutual there on my part too.”

     Wow, where did he get that from? If anyone ever needed to be called a racist on this site, it’s this guy.

     “Gentleman what is your purpose for being on this site, I would think that it was to hopefully find and date a woman of a different race!”

     A person could have “All Ethnicities” on their profile.

     What two guys is he referring to? Are you supposed to be one of them, Mr Queens? Pink clothing, open toe sandals and leg lotions? Where is he getting this stuff from. If I recall, he was the one in a pink turtle neck when his picture was up.

     ” It does not matter if you like it or not but i just told you whats wrong with most black on black relationships . Do not make a good man pay for your past bad relationships or break his savings account to please you.”

     And who’s the weak hypocrite? The above exerpt was from his post on August 9th aimed at black women. I wouldn’t say that is what’s wrong with MOST black relationships, so that claim is unsubstantiated. Also, there is a difference in attacking a black woman and confronting a certain consciousness that just so happens to reside in a woman of the black race. A consciousness that can and does reside in either gender of any race.
190. 

     Comment by julius26 on 21 October 2009:

     Dear lisa i wish you all the best and hope you find a quality man whatever race he may be.
191. 

     Comment by tatted2death on 25 October 2009:

     Hiya, Ich!!!!…LMAO….I caught that too…..the picture WAS up a few weeks ago….wonder what happened…LOL…..oh maybe the red hair dye ran out….LMAO. DAYUM….why are some people so full of it….I guess for my amusement….LOL.

     “Just when you think it’s safe to go back into the water”….lol.

     Peace and Blessings
     tatted2death
192. 

     Comment by ezrhino2001 on 25 October 2009:

     You ich are one of the men i,am talking to . the sweater is red . The only thing I like is pink is on a real woman,

     You were one the guys on here putting down the sisters for being here even though you are on and interracial dating site your self . my comment had nothing to do with ethnicity. It had to do with flat out appearance.
     So are why you are really on here looking for white females and hating on the sisters is because of some sexual short comings ??? you cannot rock the sisters world ???? well the white or Latino females are going to expect more too, so you may want to stick with , the Asians.Everybody is not able are they !! yall can’t live up to that well endowed go all night myth, do not blame me , that your and your parents fault. Mine blessed me well.@tattSo you can defend these weak coming up short/ unable to scratch that itch men apparently the sisters here are intimidating to them, but the rest of us see them for what they really are , little boys who want to but cannot play in a real man’s world.
     @Tatt not all red hair comes from behind a store counter nor from a bottle of dye.
     If another race makes a sister happy , then go for it and you do not owe the black man or any other race a damn thing either ,you are human being do what makes you happy.Ladies you do not have mess with these broke inadequate down low ,wanna bes and lesbians , just go to my profile and see what a real man looks like.
193. 

     Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 25 October 2009:

     (Throwing a punch at ezrhino2001)

     I bet I will rock your black girlfriend’s world and you won’t do nothing about it.

     You seem to have a problem with other races of women.

     Well black women is going to mess with us whether you like it or not coward.

     Who says this????????

     “I,am everything you so called strong blk men hate, i am tall , fit , educated , wealthy handsome, Green eyes and natural straight to wavy red hair, hung like a bull and can go all night and my body is hairy the chest and the legs= no naps and the legs ain’t skinny either and light beige , so really you two guys and any white males on here who do not like my confidence can kiss my beige a____”

     I will grab your wealthy ass of your car and take your woman. I don’t give a fuck if you are rich! I never met a tough guy trust fund baby! Your so rich fly out to New York for your ass whipping!
194. 

     Comment by tatted2death on 27 October 2009:

     too much….LMAO!!!!!….keep’em coming, guys….proving me right EVERYDAY.
195. 

     Comment by Ichibod on 30 October 2009:

     Hey, Tats.

     I don’t know what’s going on. A pink shirt with the contrast and hue altered in Photoshop to make it look red (as if a tight-ass turtle neck wasn’t bad enough), plus a search filter change from “male” to “female” so that his posts seem more credible. Transgender maybe? Let’s just leave Pruneface to his own devices. He’ll get a clue one day! Later, Gal!
196. 

     Comment by travelgirl on 4 November 2009:

     I agree and feel that white women are with black men either pursuing or being pursued
     (not for sincere reasons likes he likes her for the person she is) but for the myth of sex with black men and to use him for money (ex: NFL, NBA etc) There are more than enough white men in the world for them
197. 

     Comment by kano on 7 November 2009:

     I’m a young black woman. currently in graduate school, and I consider myself to be both strong, sexy and feminine. I gotta say that I have never had a problem with anyone interracially dating and never will. I have have never been interested in being taken care of because I can handle myself. I am not gonna sweat someone who doesn’t want me and can only see me interms of some ghettotized stereotype. To those men who only run into that sort of women isn’t it time for you to change your local and focus? I don’t know what other Black women are doing but I’m not waiting for one of my “Brothers” to get himself together and realize they need to expand their horizons. There are some Black women out there who got their heads on right and their priorities together, if your not fast enough your gonna lose them.
198. 

     Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 10 November 2009:

     Dear Kano

     Please do not do us any favors. All I heard was I am going to graduate school, which you haven’t finished. Then you claim your sexy and feminine, as if to say, black women are not capable of being that.

     It’s all good you feel so highly about yourself. But educated men are the catch not your ass. That goes for all races of men. That is where you and some white women, Asian, Indian and Latin women “fail” in life and end up with numerous cats in your house.

     My blog is the LIGHT FOR BLACK WOMEN. The sooner these black women learn this, the better off they will be.

     I am tired of men on this board not exercising their power. For every man there is a ratio of 5 women to 1 man. So how the hell you are going to dictate your treatment to us.

     Woman get out of the way if you won’t put men first! Just live alone with your cats and stop complaining about men already! I am sick of your ass!

     (Jumping off my soapbox and closing the door)

     TATTOO THAT ON YOUR FOREHEAD!

     Good day

     http://www.mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/
199. 

     Comment by Donald on 28 February 2010:

     I don’t no what wrong with our black woman. I have
     pretty black woman want a other woman. I did not under-
     stand why black man & woman want a woman in man want man. What they dont understand that God make you a man
     to be with a woman not a other man sex.
     When a man black tried to talk to a black woman she
     ignore him in kept on walking down the street. It use
     to be when talk a black woman she give out her phone
     number in come close to him.

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