Multicultural relationships and marriages is a topic that stirs heated debates as reflected in the numerous discussion threads on the Internet among Asian Americans. This is often a very touchy subject for both Asian American men and women.
Most Asian American multicultural marriages are those of a white husband married to an Asian wife. This combo makes up 14 percent of all mixed unions. Interestingly, in 75 percent of Asian-white marriages, the husband is white. No matter how different their personalities or backgrounds it seems like just about every Asian American woman I know is dating or married to a white guy. The good thing is that those who do, say they have nothing against their Asian men. It’s just that culturally they have embraced the American culture hence feeling very American.
“I have never dated an Asian guy, and will probably never date an Asian guy,� says Michelle Phi, a student at Texas A&M University. . . “I’m a very Americanized Asian girl who needs a very Americanized male� “I fear the potential acquisition of another Asian family.� Another Vietnamese woman in her early 30s, says, “I think it is an issue of cultural assimilation. Overall, I have found Asian men too ‘Eastern’ in their thinking about women.� According to her many Asian American men still have rather traditional and patriarchal attitudes about Asian American women.
As much as am pro multicultural relationships, does this mean that Asian American men aren’t Americanized enough? Is this the reason that leads Asian American women away from Asian American men?Don’t you think that these women also seem to be caught up in the exact same stereotypes about Asian American men – stereotypes that most of the minority cultures in the US are trying so hard to fight?
Clearly, the Asian American woman seems to be categorically rejecting any Asian American man available based on their belief that because he’s Asian, then it’s like automatically he’s not as Americanized or culturally ‘liberated’ as them. Like Phi above, she has vowed never to date an Asian guy. Its like she is not even willing to give any one of them a chance!
This is America yeah… people have the right to believe whatever they want to and date whoever they want. But does that mean that we use that freedom to express generalizations and stereotypes against Asian American men? Aren’t they real Americans just like their female counterparts?
Although not all Asian American women have these stereotypical opinions, it’s a pity when such cultural stereotypes are perpetuated by members of their own community.
Tags: interracial dating, multicultural dating, ethnicity
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Comment by hiimsteph on 19 June 2007:
I personally like Asian men. Wish to find one that is open enough to dating (or try dating) a black woman. Its not bad at all.
Comment by hiimsteph on 19 June 2007:
I personally like Asian men. Wish to find one that is open enough to dating (or try dating) a black woman. Its not bad at all. And quite frankly I think asian-whte couples when they have children they come out looking..pretty lame, with no profound characteristics at all.. am I lyin? Im not trying to knock AW dating but thats what I think. But a Blasian couple looks more full of character and varietized and just plain out of the ordinary, very unique.
Comment by Leon on 22 June 2007:
I’ve found that one of the insecurities that Asian women struggle with, is their eye appearance. When seeking cosmetic surgery, The eyes are the #1 thing they want to change. This may, Or may not be a reason for some of their preference toward white men. They desire a more American look, That would open more doors to their pursuits. They feel that slanted eyes limit
them somewhat, Of reaching their potential.
Comment by suiyoobi on 20 July 2007:
Personally, I feel kind of sorry for Asian women. They’re missing out. Our great big beautiful world is like an ice cream parlour filled with 100’s of different flavors. Sadly, they’ve been programed some what by our society to by pass all the flavors and go straight for the vanilla because it’s safer. Vanilla ice cream may be good, but how do you know what butter pecan, or rum raison, or pistachio tastes like…if your afraid to taste it?
Comment by suiyoobi on 22 July 2007:
Our world is like an ice cream parlour filled with hundreds of different flavors. Sadly, Asian women have been led to believe that with all these wonderful flavors…vanilla is the safest, best flavor in the shop. I’m not saying vanilla is a bad flavor, but how do you know if you like pistachio or rum raison or butter pecan…unless you take a risk and taste it. A band called Wild Cherry played soft rock in the 80’s to little success. It wasn’t until they did the funk flavored ” Play That Funky Music” that their career took off. If Asian women are comfortable in the asian-caucasian box. More power to them. But there’s a whole world out there that they’re missing out on
Comment by hiimsteph on 24 July 2007:
Hey I love your ice cream analogy, making me want some!