We have read about the surveys on attitudes of people towards interracial dating. We have gathered opinions and people’s experiences with interracial dating to back our surveys.
We have the positive side of the story. However, some parents would tolerate their children having friends of other races so long as it’s nothing romantic. Other people would have sexual relations or even serious relationship with someone from a different race but when it comes to settling down, they can’t. They go back to their ‘own’. I am thinking, these are the same people who when asked if they are open to interracial dating, they would say yes. But the bit that we probably never get to here is how far this ‘openness’ goes.
Sometimes our families’ true colors aren’t revealed till we bring someone who looks nothing like they expected. Its shocking when you find parents who spoke of love and the way everyone is the same under the skin, are in fact selectively racist.
Surprisingly many people are undoubtedly open to interracial dating, but still draw the line when it came to marriage and their children for whatever reason.
You have read about survey results. But coupled with the discussions you may have heard from people on this subject, would you say people are generally open to interracial marriage? What makes other people draw that line?
Tags: dating websites, black white dating, online dating
Popularity: 41% [?]
Comment by cutesmile on 9 September 2008:
I approve of interracial dating alot….It shows that love has no color…Corny I know but the truth is the truth…I think it’s a wonderful thing ….dating someone from the other race…Shows love has no color..it’s just love.
Comment by johneb30 on 10 September 2008:
I think most people in today’s society are open to interracial dating in a ‘warm and fuzzy feeling’ type of way. However, when it comes to their own family members, I think many of the stereotypical fears and reservations come creeping back up and people (or those observing) begin to realize that they may not be as open as they thought they were.
Also, some people love people of every race and color, but simply don’t think it is right for some reason to marry or date between races and this in no way diminishes their sincere acceptance of people of all different types. For some reason, for some people, there is just a line there that in their mind should not be crossed. I don’t understand it, but I also know their acceptance of all races is sincere (in other words, I don’t believe them to be secretly prejudiced).
Comment by yryrizaataol on 12 September 2008:
Let’s be realistic here. Racism is alive and well in the US. Just because someone doesn’t yell out “beat that nigger and cracker for being together” does not mean that their silence is approval for you. Racism today is actually more quiet and deadly. I’d rather have the loud mouth racist bark, so I know to avoid him. The quiet one is the one that will hurt you like when you need help, suddenly he can’t, but you thought he was cool. This country was built on hate and racism and it will never go away. It will just sprout different faces and voices.
Comment by equalop4u on 12 September 2008:
I think the proof is in the action so to speak. A lot of people pay lip service about being broadminded and open when it comes to interacial marriages and relatioships, most are unable to deal with the reality. The reality is that most americans have an opinion about interacial co-mingling and it is not positive. It seems more acceptable if it’s white and asian, but when it comes down to black and white, you meet a lot of resistance and resentment on both sides of the fence. In now quite a few people who feel that it is ok to socialize,or have intimate liasons, but marriage is a no-no. The truth is that there are very deep-seated fears on both side. Until we can openly and honestly dialogue with one another about our fears, misconception, our society will never truly accept interracial marriages. The key is to accept and respect each others’ choices black or white, red or yellow.
Comment by equalop4u on 12 September 2008:
I think the proof is in the action so to speak. A lot of people pay lip service about being broadminded and open when it comes to interacial marriages and relatioships, most are unable to deal with the reality. The reality is that most americans have an opinion about interacial co-mingling and it is not positive. It seems more acceptable if it’s white and asian, but when it comes down to black and white, you meet a lot of resistance and resentment on both sides of the fence. In now quite a few people who feel that it is okay to socialize,or have intimate liasons, but marriage is a no-no. The truth is that there are very deep-seated fears on both side. Until we can openly and honestly dialogue with one another about our fears, misconception, our society will never truly accept interracial marriages. The key is to accept and respect each others’ choices black or white, red or yellow.
Comment by jcandy on 14 September 2008:
I believe that love is colourless, it’s has no reservation with ones’ creed, social background and social fears. There are those who have over the years created a social anxiety that has polluted the way in which some of us perceived individuals from different races. These maladaptive preconceptions have evidently become wide spread within our global society. However, I refuse to withstand the preconception of others regarding interracial dating; therefore, if it’s not to another persons liking the partner I want to share my life with, then I can still live my life without theirs or anyone else’s validation!
Comment by jcandy on 14 September 2008:
I believe that love is colourless, it’s has no reservation with ones’ creed, social background and social fears. There are those, who have over the years created a social anxiety that has polluted the way in which some of us perceived individuals from different races. These maladaptive preconceptions have evidently become wide spread within our global society. However, I refuse to withstand the preconception of others regarding interracial dating; therefore, if it’s not to another persons liking the partner I want to share my life with, then I can still live my life without theirs or anyone else’s validation!
Comment by 69Venus on 17 September 2008:
I agree and totally feel that love knows no color but unfortunately, not everybody in our society is open to bring another race into their family.
I, myself used to date a wonderful black man but he made it clear to me that long term (marriage) was not an option as his parents would not accept a white girl into the family. He wouldn’t even let me meet his parents.
It’s not just about racism or prejudice either way, it’s more tradition and the ability to think outside the box.. and where the younger generation might be coming around, many older ones are just not there yet.
Comment by morninflower on 18 September 2008:
Of course not! Racism is alive..very much alive here in America and other parts of the world too. I have a preference for white men - always have, always will and have had to deal with the “stares” especially living in the South. Sure we all want to say “love knows no color” - and it doesn’t BUT that doesn’t mean that many people are open to Interracial Marriage. Case in point - my best friend’s mum told her that as much as she welcomes her white boyfriends at the end of the day - she wants some “brown grandbabies” and that’s just the way it is.
@69Venus - I agree with your comments on this topic - very well said.
Comment by equalop4u on 19 September 2008:
Unfortunately, this problem will not be solve in our lifetime. But we make strides everyday with every successful interraacial couple and children in the world. My biggest issue with all of this is that people do not respect my choicesor they expect me to justify for them. I had a conversation with a very attactive single black woman who despairs ever finding mr. right. I suggested that she spread her wings and date non-black man. She said that she would rather be alone than be with a white man. Go figure. I wish her luck and moved on.
Comment by metoo44 on 20 September 2008:
I belive love is love it has no color and as far a family well if they dont come around or understand thats thir choice if the bond between a man and woman is strong then nothing should come in between then and over the years staying together people well just say oh that coulpe be together four years dont really think they would see black or white its staying not running thats what make it harder for coulpes ……….
Comment by qman205 on 21 September 2008:
We live in a color conscious society. Everyone has a color. They interesting part is how it continues to be this way. I grew up in the civil rights movement and have seen many things. The question to ask yourself (especially someone in my age group) is “Has your mate introduced you to their family?”. Every woman I have dated outside my race has not introduced me to their kids. True colors showing perhaps? It is funny how much in love or really like you they say they are but when it comes to meeting the kids, no way. They say in due time which hasn’t arrived yet. Although some things changes…………….others remain the same.
Comment by tatted2death on 21 September 2008:
qman…..
I totally respect what you have to say and it makes sense in alot of ways….but have you ever considered this:….if that woman’s children were young (even younger than 18…they are still her sole responsiblity at that point), maybe she didn’t bring you around them because she is JUST protective over them (and in today’s world, rightfully so)…JUST A POINT TO PONDER.
It amazes me how some people are so quick to point to racism being the problem when there JUST might be another explanation (not saying that is absolutely the case with you QMAN). We can blame society all we want when it comes to these things, but guess who makes up society…..US. Why are we so ready to relinquish our power when it comes to that??? It makes no sense when you consider that alot of other places in this world people, in general, are deprived of the freedoms that we enjoy here in America. We DO have the power to make changes…..it’s our heritage. Maybe it’s just the idealist in me…..but “dreamers” have already made some pretty amazing things happen in this world…just think about it. I think it is best to inspire the hope (AND you can still be a “realist” while doing that…LOL) that things can and will continue to improve than dwell in the muck and mire of what hasn’t happened YET.
Peace and Blessings
tatted2death
Comment by Amun13 on 23 September 2008:
I agree with the sentiment that love is colorblind. I don’t believe a person’s race short be a factor in wether or not I choose to date them or marry them. It should be about love, not “How are my friends going to feel?” or ” Are my parents going to be ok with this?” when it really comes down to it you are the one in the relationship with this person, not your family not your friends ( at least I hope not). You have to be satisfied with your chaice later on. not the people around you. Just ask yourself who would you rather go home to at the end of the day, The person you love, or the person they chose?
Comment by aprlshwrs on 23 September 2008:
I guess I’ve been blessed within my own life. I have always been attracted to white men and I always will. I can remember when I was in high school and my cousin had children with a white woman. My aunt couldn’t stand that woman until they had children. Now, they get along wonderfully. I also recall dating a white guy in high school and my mom being really upset that he was white. Even now, she isn’t too keen on it but she accepts it. I work with youth and they don’t seem to have a hang up with this at all. I also work with all white youth…hmmm. They also don’t have a hang up with gay people either. I think things will change as the youth of today grow older because they are more open-minded.
Comment by aprlshwrs on 23 September 2008:
I guess I’ve been blessed within my own life. I have always been attracted to white men and I always will. I can remember when I was in high school and my cousin had children with a white woman. My aunt couldn’t stand that woman until they had children. Now, they get along wonderfully. I also recall dating a white guy in high school and my mom being really upset that he was white. Even now, she isn’t too keen on it but she accepts it. I work with youth and they don’t seem to have a hang up with this at all. I also work with all white youth…hmmm. They also don’t have a hang up with gay people either. I think things will change as the youth of today grow older because they are more open-minded.
Also, this article seems to make a distinction between interracial dating and interracial marriage. I have to admit that I want an interracial marriage…dating is fun but I’m ready to settle down.
Comment by serenity798 on 24 September 2008:
Since High School. I’ve always dated within my race but something changed. As I’ve gotten older, my interests continue to grow. I grew up in a upper middle class family only 3 black on the street. Neighbors were great the entire neighborhood was great. I’m used to being around all types of people. White men are beautiful to me. My last boyfried was white. This was new to me and I did receive some crazy looks when we were in public but I was happy. Some of my family members asked me what was wrong with me and to be honest there wasn’t.
Some people are afraid to accept who they are and what others will say. Those Quiet ones that think of hurtful harmful things are out there but can’t lvie in fear.
I believe I have a interracial marriage.
Comment by sweet1976 on 27 September 2008:
I wanted to chime in to agree with a poster who mentioned that there is a lot of hypocrisy about interracial dating. I have had friends (white, latin and black) who have treated me like I am stupid because I like white men. There is a level of incredulousness about it or they have even said to my face that the interest must be purely sexual or that the guy must be using me. Recently one of these friends tried to fix me up with a black man. It didn’t work out, but in the process I met another friend of hers who I thought might be a better match. Because he was white she stonewalled me and refused to help me contact him. I was appalled, not just because he had expressed an interest to other friends and it was clear that it was mutual, but also because she often dates black men but has said that she would never marry one. I really thought that her openmindedness was genuine, but I guess it does not extend as far as accepting a black woman being with a white man.
Comment by qman205 on 28 September 2008:
The input on this topic is very interesting, open and genuine. An interracial relationship must involve two people that are strong parties that are comfortable with themselves. The theme here is evolving into “love is blind”. I totally agree. I have a strong relationship with a white woman and the funny thing is that when she talks, if I would close my eyes……. she sounds like a black woman. Not the voice but the words she uses. I have grown in our relationship because of her. Sure, we get the looks and jeers from some. But the way I see it is they have the problem not us. Bottom line, we all have likes and interests. Be the person you are. Don’t allow others to cause you to miss the person God has for you. On these singles/dating sites profiles often indicate the search for that person. What if……
Comment by Carlton on 17 October 2008:
Its really funny that only the people of color are the ones replying to these such things.
Comment by sexcii_dee on 29 October 2008:
there’s absolutely nothing wrong wtih interracial marriage. you cant really blame a person for a certain color he’s interested in you know. I been interested in light colored men all my life and right now i have a hispanic fiance and yea i’ll admit that people look at us weird when we’re walking together on the street or when we’re kissing in a restaurant but we dont care because we love each other we dont care about anybody elses opinion.
Comment by mypointofview on 4 November 2008:
qman205 - as tatted2death pointed out; some woman don’t introduce men they are casually dating to their children. When my boys were younger they did not meet the men I dated, until after I felt comfortable the guy wasn’t a psycho, and that takes time.
Women like this who have primary responsibility of minor children should be commended, not criticized.
Comment by newlife51 on 10 November 2008:
The thing that always strkes me here is that there is a conceptio n that we are of different races .The last time I checked there was only one race and many nationalities.I find that if two people enjoy each other it is great and that what needs yto be the maine focus is their belief system .Do they share the same faith? Do they share the same interest? Do they have the same outlook on love,family fun, and worship.This is what we are taught through out the scriptures to marry of like faith.I didn’t read that it was the color of ones skin that caused the issues it was the paganism and God faith at war with each other that caused the problems.I find that I can relate to the black americans much more than most of white america I have never been one with an easy life and I have admired the strength of the Black culture and have only gotten good from my associations with them. I do pray to meet and to marry one day the man of my deams..
Comment by chicagoRicky on 19 December 2008:
Hi,
My opinion on interracial dating is it’s a beautiful thing. I have been dating my girlfriend(who is white) for over a year now and to be honest, I’ve never been more happier with someone. Yes, we get looks from people when we are out from both black and white people, but we don’t care. The most important thing is our happiness. Why should we let the world judge on who we love??