Interracial Dating Central Blog

Does your spouse have a habit of disappearing from your relationship when you need them most? Do they spend weekends away, not because they are busy at work, but coz they are out drinking or having fun with friends?

Sometimes you may realize that the last time you two sat and talked was … you-cant-remember. Relationship research says a large percentage of young marriages suffer from spousal absenteeism. They have no idea what sharing a life with someone is. So what leads to this?

Alcohol abuse is one of them. If this is the reason, you need to solve the primary problem first. Rehab is the first solution, if you get them to go that is.

Poor communication is the other issue. And with poor communication comes poor understanding of spousal needs. Try to improve communication in your marriage at all times. Assess how to communicate with each other; is the level of communication sufficient? Try adopting a style that makes the other party feel understood, loved and appreciated.

Two out of five absentee spouses admit to having an affair and this needs one to commit their time. There are very many reasons behind extra-marital affairs. Before you zero in this as the cause of your spouse’s absenteeism, find out why and seek counseling – if you have it in you to forgive their cheating a**.

Chronic arguments at home makes some people run away just to avoid them. Much as arguments will always be a part of a relationship, how you choose to resolve them is what makes or breaks a marriage. Avoid getting hooked on to the never-ending arguments. Politely request a time out whenever you feel you are getting sucked into such and resume it when you feel balanced enough to handle it.

Overcrowded homes – the relatives – could put your spouse off. When your house is ever present with visitors, the privacy you and your partner require is compromised. Limit the number of people staying over. Better yet, rent a place for them to stay as you try to assist them.

Always remember, your spouse’s absenteeism is a secondary problem rather than a primary one. And in order to effectively minimize the problem, you will have to deal with the reason behind the absenteeism first. Cross your fingers it isn’t an affair coz for me, it will mean complete absence. I don’t forgive cheating spouses … but then again, that’s just me.

Tags: interracial relationships, online dating, black white dating

Popularity: 70% [?]

One thing women admire – and at the same time loathe - about men is our resilience when it comes to pursuing the object of our affection. Once a man has fixed his sight on some woman, no matter how many refutations he gets, he is just like a cheater after a helpless gazelle (best way I can describe it). Those that won’t take ‘NO’ for an answer.

Half the time, conquering is the only thing that will quell the desire of pursuit; because even when the woman is in the hands of another man, the chase gets even more tempting. Thing some men don’t realize is how annoying it is to pursue a woman who has clearly said ‘NO’ (CAPS, BOLD and UNDERLINED).

They say women usually say ‘NO’ when they mean ‘YES’ – this kind of mentality is what increases the high rate of rape and sexual offenses. Do these people think women need to be coy and non-aggressive particularly when it comes to sex? What an annoying part of the female inheritance.

Lucky enough, the 21st century woman has learned that to survive in this man’s world, they had better embrace the same assertiveness and directness that men can understand. And out went the circle drawing with the feet and the games that sweetly exemplified the girl under pursuit. Today’s woman knows what she wants and is not afraid to go for it. If she holds the company’s IT infrastructure in her hands or runs marketing campaigns that convince the whole world to buy a product, why the hell would she say ‘NO’ when she means ‘YES’?

Not to sound a pig but I kinda miss the old girl who sits and waits for prince charming to come and ask – on his knees – for her hand in marriage. Sexy for her is defined by her eyes – not her curves because they are somewhere buried in an ocean of cloth. WHO AM I KIDDING? This woman is so gone and I have no problem with women of today. Women who know happiness IS NOT defined by marriage … just because a man offered to buy her a drink.

So when she says ‘NO’ to that date of yours, she really has no desire to go out with you. And in case she changes her mind, trust me, she will find you.

Just for kicks, which woman do you prefer? The old girl that drew circles with her toes or the new girl in town?

Tags: asian women dating, black white dating, interracial dating

Popularity: 71% [?]

Much as one can petition the court to honor conjugal rights, is there really a way to ensure compliance?

I have a lady pal who has been married for 10 years and has two children. She and the hubby leave in different cities. The hubby, for the last three years has become a stranger in the bedroom and she can think of is that he is having an affair. However, he denies it.

The hubby claims to be having some kind of problem he doesn’t care to share with her and the trips home have reduced to every two months. And when away, he NEVER calls her. Last time they had sex was like 6 months ago, and that was after throwing a tantrum.

Much as she has tried to be faithful to him through out their marriage, she now finds it very difficult to remain so.

What happens to those whose vows allude to honor conjugal rights : “… With this ring I wed you; with my body I worship you, and with all my worldly goods I endow you…�

What would you advice her to do? And how does she get the man to honor her conjugal rights voluntarily rather than compulsorily (by using the law)? Help a sister get laid peeps

Tags: black white dating, asian women dating, online dating

Popularity: 74% [?]

Children from interracial families have to deal with identity issues. Some people will see them as biracial hence belonging to no race. Others will treat them based on how they look (depending on the dominant race). We have also heard of cases of biracial offsprings checking off both say “BLACK� and “WHITE� boxes when filling forms where race is asked. They totally refuse to check off “OTHER�.

I have written about this. Well today, I would be happy to hear from those who have had experience with dealing with this kind of thing. Much as they are biracial, they need to be prepared to deal with racism … being rejected by both races they belong to.

There is the gap between biology and the racist legacy of slave/master categorization. How do we bridge this gap? How can you help IR kids cope with this?

Tags: interracial relationships, interracial dating, multicultural dating

Popularity: 82% [?]

The best time of my day is just before I sleep … The time when I get to cuddle my one and only so tight and kiss her goodnight. That is the highlight of my day. And when she is not around, I barely sleep – that of course is after having enough shots of tequila to knock me right to sleep.

Now imagine sleeping alone in that king size bed you are used to sharing with your wife or husband for years on end. I am taking about sleeping alone after divorce. How does one get used to the moved piece of cheese?

Theo Pauline Nestor Writing professor and mother of two wrote a moving memoir about separation and renewal (How to Sleep Alone in a King-Size Bed) after watching her marriage come to screeching halt in like a split of a second. Here, she discusses how she battled with shock, denial, adjustment and acceptance attached to the process of divorce. And you know what she was adjusting to? Discovering her husband’s gambling habit, which wiped out the family’s finances.

Nester’s story is more than that warm blanket you need to beat those cold nights sleeping alone … it provides relatability. And what she does is take her reader through the transition to her new roles as single mother, woman and breadwinner, with humor, honesty and insight.

Well after her long struggle, she conquers her partner-less no-one-to-cuddle life and she concludes with some advice: “I don’t know if I feel happier, but I feel real-er.�

Anyways, who said divorce is easy. Surviving it is a work in progress. Read it and let me know what you think.

Tags: multicultural dating, black white dating, asian white dating

Popularity: 76% [?]

Some people not only make online dating hard for themselves, but hard for those searching too. Or should I say easy? Well it all depends on how you look at it.

Some online daters hardly provide specific information about themselves and even their profile photos provide no apparent hints. What is one supposed to write to someone that says nothing in their profile? Are do such people really expect to score in the online dating world if they are providing no info? How do you deal with this beautiful image that says nothing?

Tags: multicultural dating, black white dating, interracial relationships

Popularity: 68% [?]