Interracial Dating Central Blog

Asian men have been the topic of the day when it comes to multicultural relationships. The image of the Asian men is constantly changing and unlike before, Asian men - movie stars especially (Jet Li, Rick Yune, and Chow Yun-Fat) are also being depicted as objects of lust. And suddenly, there is an increase in the numbers of Asian men marrying outside their culture.

About 10 years ago, an Asian man dating a white, Hispanic, or black woman was almost unheard of but according to a study of California marriage licenses, 18.9 percent of Asian-American men born in the United States are far more likely to marry women who are l white, 22.7 percent marry other Asian ethnicity, and 6 percent marry another racial minority.

One interviewee once joked that Asian men are the next ‘trophy boyfriends.’ Funny enough, his Caucasian wife also joked about this saying: “It’s almost like Asian boyfriends are the fashion accessory of the moment.” Well how true is this? What is the reason behind the new popularity of Asian men?

Articles have been circulating over the internet about this. I remember an article in the Sunday Seattle Times where a writer Sharon Pian Chan, says that Asian men “are the hottest things since sizzling rice.”This article incited quite a number of responses and letters to readers who talked about how wonderful and sexy Asian men are.

Wait one minute – have the tables suddenly turned? If my mind isn’t playing tricks on me, Asian women have always been accused of whoring themselves to white men and suddenly people a throwing a bash coz Asian men are sleeping with white women? Why is it that when Asian women marry a different culture, its betrayal, and when an Asian man does it, its seen as social progress?

Are Asian men also being subjected to sexual stereotypes? One white woman married to an Asian man writes, “Asian men make love even better than they make television sets.” Should this popularity amongst white women be interpreted as a validation of their appeal?

In Full Metal Jacket (1987) most Asian-American guys were repulsed by a Vietnamese woman saying “Me so horny” and now they are being portrayed in a similar degrading manner. “The fact that Asian-American men are seen as nerds hasn’t changed, only the appeal of nerds has,” says Tommy Kim a graduate student at the University of Minnesota who teaches a class on the sexualization of race. “Nerds are now rich in this dot-com world, and money has always been sexy.”

So why is it that when it comes to multicultural dating, sexual remarks always come into play? Can’t people just acknowledge other cultures for their personality?

Tags: multiethnic dating, Asian Americans, dating

Popularity: 4% [?]

Muslims Americans are one of the various cultural groups that have been under increased scrutiny in the U.S., with attention paid to their social, economic, and political characteristics. While majority of Muslims are foreign-born, they are happy with their lives, largely assimilated, and remarkably American in outlook.

Most of the Muslim immigrants have been to elite colleges, are in the professions and they’re ready to settle down. And so the cycle of hand-wringing over intermarriage begins again.

For Muslim men, interfaith marriage isn’t too big of a deal coz the tradition endorses it. Arsalan Iftikhar, the national legal director for the Council on American-Islamic Relations a big proponent of intermarriage says, “I plan on marrying someone who does not look like me.” Well that’s easy for him to say, being a man. So what about the ’styled-up’ American Muslim woman?

American Muslim women face a trickier challenge. How does she marry outside the Islam faith and retain her Muslim identity without the sanction of Scripture or history? One counselor who has counseled at least 100 interfaith couples over the past few years acknowledges the fact that in most cases the Muslim partner is a woman. Just like the Jews and Roman Catholics before them, how do these women balance their commitments to their families of origin against their new American lives? So where should she place her allegiance?

On the other hand, just like most black women, more traditional Muslim women complain that they’re losing their men, too - not to Christians and Jews (or even Hindus) but to Muslim brides from abroad. These women definitely acknowledge the fact that even in the most conservative circles, when traditional religion collides with the educated, independent woman; this collision is bound to force a change.

With most people living together at one – well almost - these women mingle with all other races and religions and they are bound to fall in love. Its common sense really. Are Muslim American women supposed to sacrifice love for religion? Yeah, we all have heard the infidel story but why should it be ok for the men to intermarry and women to suffer in the name of religion? In this interconnected, global world of ours, don’t you find the idea that Muslim women should only marry Muslim men ridiculous and outdated?

Nothing against Islam faith but kindly, someone, help a brother swallow that!

Tags: Christianity, multicultural dating, interfaith marriages

Popularity: 2% [?]

Who can explain this… how a conversation with a woman can jump from sexy to sour in a jiffy? And don’t even think about telling her that some studies have found PMS to be a myth

When it comes to women and moods, there usually is no cue when the next will strike. This reminds me of this joke I read some time back:

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden he said out loud, “Lord grant me one wish.” Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, “Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish”.The man said, ‘Build me a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over anytime I want to.”

After a few minutes God said, “You want two lanes or four on that bridge?”

Understanding women is quite a task. But when the swings strike, there is usually the old age “hormones� explanation. And then there is one more … You have probably been a d*** and it’s really your fault.

One mistake men make is that they assume that a woman’s moodiness is all about them. The ego Ever stopped to think that she probably just had a bad day at work? Show that you care by asking about that. And whatever you do, do not let your big mouth suggest that she is PMSing. Just go along with whatever she says has ticked her off.Help out a little… dinner, run to the shops. It could be the uneven division of labor that’s making her moody.

But the very best advice … Offer your hairy chest for a punching bag and take the blows as a man. Let her vent out without you b*tching back. Then draw her a bath, brush her hair and rub her back. You will be generously rewarded when she is in a better mood You feel me?

Think this is cocky? Well… works for me like a charm

Tags: mood swings, women, multicultural dating

Popularity: 2% [?]

Planning on having unsafe sex? Protect yourself!!! A wild night of sex can damage you and your goods terribly. Your heath could suffer. Am sure most of us are like “Oh shut it James. Do you have to drug us down the STDs, HIV, blah blah fish cake lane?� I’ll spare you the misery of boredom.

Ever heard of a broken penis? Oouuuuuchhhh!!! Yeah. Even the mere thought of it is that awful. Now imagine having one… Apparently, when an erect penis is bent at a right angle, the inner chamber can rapture. And the cure… surgery. This usually happens when having vigorous woman-on-top sex. So ladies, work us slowly. We are fragile too.

You could also suffer from a sex-induced heart attack. Although not as common as most gold diggers would love, when you are out of shape, an increase in physical activity can be risky. And for those of us looking for that extra vitality from the man’s best friend Viagra, watch out coz this can out a strain on your heart. So if you are overweight or are having high blood pressure or cholesterol, you better add extra protection… Pop an asprin

Do you have banana, avocado, kiwi, chestnut or tomato allergies? Safe as condoms are, they could be unsafe for this category of people. It is likely that you have latex sensitivity or allergy. And you don’t wanna know what a full-blown allergy can do. Picture wheezing and hives.

I thought the above were some what crazy, but when you think about it, safe sex can turn to be hazardous. What to do?

Tags: interracial dating, multicultural dating, penis

Popularity: 2% [?]

Multicultural relationships and marriages is a topic that stirs heated debates as reflected in the numerous discussion threads on the Internet among Asian Americans. This is often a very touchy subject for both Asian American men and women.

Most Asian American multicultural marriages are those of a white husband married to an Asian wife. This combo makes up 14 percent of all mixed unions. Interestingly, in 75 percent of Asian-white marriages, the husband is white. No matter how different their personalities or backgrounds it seems like just about every Asian American woman I know is dating or married to a white guy. The good thing is that those who do, say they have nothing against their Asian men. It’s just that culturally they have embraced the American culture hence feeling very American.

“I have never dated an Asian guy, and will probably never date an Asian guy,� says Michelle Phi, a student at Texas A&M University. . . “I’m a very Americanized Asian girl who needs a very Americanized male� “I fear the potential acquisition of another Asian family.� Another Vietnamese woman in her early 30s, says, “I think it is an issue of cultural assimilation. Overall, I have found Asian men too ‘Eastern’ in their thinking about women.� According to her many Asian American men still have rather traditional and patriarchal attitudes about Asian American women.

As much as am pro multicultural relationships, does this mean that Asian American men aren’t Americanized enough? Is this the reason that leads Asian American women away from Asian American men?Don’t you think that these women also seem to be caught up in the exact same stereotypes about Asian American men – stereotypes that most of the minority cultures in the US are trying so hard to fight?

Clearly, the Asian American woman seems to be categorically rejecting any Asian American man available based on their belief that because he’s Asian, then it’s like automatically he’s not as Americanized or culturally ‘liberated’ as them. Like Phi above, she has vowed never to date an Asian guy. Its like she is not even willing to give any one of them a chance!

This is America yeah… people have the right to believe whatever they want to and date whoever they want. But does that mean that we use that freedom to express generalizations and stereotypes against Asian American men? Aren’t they real Americans just like their female counterparts?

Although not all Asian American women have these stereotypical opinions, it’s a pity when such cultural stereotypes are perpetuated by members of their own community.

Tags: interracial dating, ethnicity, multicultural dating

Popularity: 3% [?]